We know and all people
know so many specimens of this class, that
in selecting the few heads our limits enable us to
take from a great number, we have been induced to
give the very friendly young gentleman the preference
over many others, to whose claims upon a more cursory
view of the question we had felt disposed to assign
the priority.
The very friendly young gentleman
is very friendly to everybody, but he attaches himself
particularly to two, or at most to three families:
regulating his choice by their dinners, their circle
of acquaintance, or some other criterion in which
he has an immediate interest. He is of any age
between twenty and forty, unmarried of course, must
be fond of children, and is expected to make himself
generally useful if possible. Let us illustrate
our meaning by an example, which is the shortest mode
and the clearest.
We encountered one day, by chance,
an old friend of whom we had lost sight for some years,
and who expressing a strong anxiety to renew
our former intimacy urged us to dine with
him on an early day, that we might talk over old times.
We readily assented, adding, that we hoped we should
be alone. ‘Oh, certainly, certainly,’
said our friend, ’not a soul with us but Mincin.’
‘And who is Mincin?’ was our natural inquiry.
‘O don’t mind him,’ replied our friend,
’he’s a most particular friend of mine,
and a very friendly fellow you will find him;’
and so he left us.
’We thought no more about Mincin
until we duly presented ourselves at the house next
day, when, after a hearty welcome, our friend motioned
towards a gentleman who had been previously showing
his teeth by the fireplace, and gave us to understand
that it was Mr. Mincin, of whom he had spoken.
It required no great penetration on our part to discover
at once that Mr. Mincin was in every respect a very
friendly young gentleman.
‘I am delighted,’ said
Mincin, hastily advancing, and pressing our hand warmly
between both of his, ’I am delighted, I am sure,
to make your acquaintance (here he smiled) very
much delighted indeed (here he exhibited
a little emotion) I assure you that I have
looked forward to it anxiously for a very long time:’
here he released our hands, and rubbing his own, observed,
that the day was severe, but that he was delighted
to perceive from our appearance that it agreed with
us wonderfully; and then went on to observe, that,
notwithstanding the coldness of the weather, he had
that morning seen in the paper an exceedingly curious
paragraph, to the effect, that there was now in the
garden of Mr. Wilkins of Chichester, a pumpkin, measuring
four feet in height, and eleven feet seven inches
in circumference, which he looked upon as a very extraordinary
piece of intelligence. We ventured to remark,
that we had a dim recollection of having once or twice
before observed a similar paragraph in the public
prints, upon which Mr. Mincin took us confidentially
by the button, and said, Exactly, exactly, to be sure,
we were very right, and he wondered what the editors
meant by putting in such things. Who the deuce,
he should like to know, did they suppose cared about
them? that struck him as being the best of it.
The lady of the house appeared shortly
afterwards, and Mr. Mincin’s friendliness, as
will readily be supposed, suffered no diminution in
consequence; he exerted much strength and skill in
wheeling a large easy-chair up to the fire, and the
lady being seated in it, carefully closed the door,
stirred the fire, and looked to the windows to see
that they admitted no air; having satisfied himself
upon all these points, he expressed himself quite
easy in his mind, and begged to know how she found
herself to-day. Upon the lady’s replying
very well, Mr. Mincin (who it appeared was a medical
gentleman) offered some general remarks upon the nature
and treatment of colds in the head, which occupied
us agreeably until dinner-time. During the meal,
he devoted himself to complimenting everybody, not
forgetting himself, so that we were an uncommonly
agreeable quartette.
‘I’ll tell you what, Capper,’
said Mr. Mincin to our host, as he closed the room
door after the lady had retired, ’you have very
great reason to be fond of your wife. Sweet
woman, Mrs. Capper, sir!’ ’Nay, Mincin I
beg,’ interposed the host, as we were about to
reply that Mrs. Capper unquestionably was particularly
sweet. ‘Pray, Mincin, don’t.’
’Why not?’ exclaimed Mr. Mincin, ’why
not? Why should you feel any delicacy before
your old friend our old friend, if
I may be allowed to call you so, sir; why should you,
I ask?’ We of course wished to know why he
should also, upon which our friend admitted that Mrs.
Capper was a very sweet woman, at which admission
Mr. Mincin cried ‘Bravo!’ and begged to
propose Mrs. Capper with heartfelt enthusiasm, whereupon
our host said, ‘Thank you, Mincin,’ with
deep feeling; and gave us, in a low voice, to understand,
that Mincin had saved Mrs. Capper’s cousin’s
life no less than fourteen times in a year and a half,
which he considered no common circumstance an
opinion to which we most cordially subscribed.
Now that we three were left to entertain
ourselves with conversation, Mr. Mincin’s extreme
friendliness became every moment more apparent; he
was so amazingly friendly, indeed, that it was impossible
to talk about anything in which he had not the chief
concern. We happened to allude to some affairs
in which our friend and we had been mutually engaged
nearly fourteen years before, when Mr. Mincin was
all at once reminded of a joke which our friend had
made on that day four years, which he positively must
insist upon telling and which he did tell
accordingly, with many pleasant recollections of what
he said, and what Mrs. Capper said, and how he well
remembered that they had been to the play with orders
on the very night previous, and had seen Romeo and
Juliet, and the pantomime, and how Mrs. Capper being
faint had been led into the lobby, where she smiled,
said it was nothing after all, and went back again,
with many other interesting and absorbing particulars:
after which the friendly young gentleman went on to
assure us, that our friend had experienced a marvellously
prophetic opinion of that same pantomime, which was
of such an admirable kind, that two morning papers
took the same view next day: to this our friend
replied, with a little triumph, that in that instance
he had some reason to think he had been correct, which
gave the friendly young gentleman occasion to believe
that our friend was always correct; and so we went
on, until our friend, filling a bumper, said he must
drink one glass to his dear friend Mincin, than whom
he would say no man saved the lives of his acquaintances
more, or had a more friendly heart. Finally,
our friend having emptied his glass, said, ’God
bless you, Mincin,’ and Mr. Mincin
and he shook hands across the table with much affection
and earnestness.
But great as the friendly young gentleman
is, in a limited scene like this, he plays the same
part on a larger scale with increased eclat.
Mr. Mincin is invited to an evening party with his
dear friends the Martins, where he meets his dear
friends the Cappers, and his dear friends the Watsons,
and a hundred other dear friends too numerous to mention.
He is as much at home with the Martins as with the
Cappers; but how exquisitely he balances his attentions,
and divides them among his dear friends! If
he flirts with one of the Miss Watsons, he has one
little Martin on the sofa pulling his hair, and the
other little Martin on the carpet riding on his foot.
He carries Mrs. Watson down to supper on one arm,
and Miss Martin on the other, and takes wine so judiciously,
and in such exact order, that it is impossible for
the most punctilious old lady to consider herself
neglected. If any young lady, being prevailed
upon to sing, become nervous afterwards, Mr. Mincin
leads her tenderly into the next room, and restores
her with port wine, which she must take medicinally.
If any gentleman be standing by the piano during
the progress of the ballad, Mr. Mincin seizes him by
the arm at one point of the melody, and softly beating
time the while with his head, expresses in dumb show
his intense perception of the delicacy of the passage.
If anybody’s self-love is to be flattered,
Mr. Mincin is at hand. If anybody’s overweening
vanity is to be pampered, Mr. Mincin will surfeit
it. What wonder that people of all stations and
ages recognise Mr. Mincin’s friendliness; that
he is universally allowed to be handsome as amiable;
that mothers think him an oracle, daughters a dear,
brothers a beau, and fathers a wonder! And who
would not have the reputation of the very friendly
young gentleman?