It was some time, if I recollect right,
in the early part of the fall of 1808, that a stranger
applied for lodgings at the Independent Columbian
Hotel in Mulberry Street, of which I am landlord.
He was a small, brisk-looking old gentleman, dressed
in a rusty black coat, a pair of olive velvet breeches,
and a small cocked hat. He had a few gray hairs
plaited and clubbed behind, and his beard seemed to
be of some eight-and-forty hours’ growth.
The only piece of finery which he bore about him was
a bright pair of square silver shoe-buckles; and all
his baggage was contained in a pair of saddle-bags,
which he carried under his arm. His whole appearance
was something out of the common run; and my wife,
who is a very shrewd little body, at once set him down
for some eminent country schoolmaster.
As the Independent Columbian Hotel
is a very small house, I was a little puzzled at first
where to put him; but my wife, who seemed taken with
his looks, would needs put him in her best chamber,
which is genteelly set off with the profiles of the
whole family, done in black, by those two great painters,
Jarvis and Wood: and commands a very pleasant
view of the new grounds on the Collect, together with
the rear of the Poor House and Bridewell, and the
full front of the Hospital; so that it is the cheerfulest
room in the whole house.
During the whole time that he stayed
with us, we found him a very worthy, good sort of
an old gentleman, though a little queer in his ways.
He would keep in his room for days together, and if
any of the children cried, or made a noise about his
door, he would bounce out in a great passion, with
his hands full of papers, and say something about “deranging
his ideas;” which made my wife believe sometimes
that he was not altogether compos. Indeed,
there was more than one reason to make her think so,
for his room was always covered with scraps of paper
and old mouldy books, lying about at sixes and sevens,
which he would never let anybody touch; for he said
he had laid them all away in their proper places, so
that he might know where to find them; though, for
that matter, he was half his time worrying about the
house in search of some book or writing which he had
carefully put out of the way. I shall never forget
what a pother he once made, because my wife cleaned
out his room when his back was turned, and put everything
to rights; for he swore he would never be able to get
his papers in order again in a twelve-month.
Upon this my wife ventured to ask him, what he did
with so many books and papers? and he told her, that
he was “seeking for immortality”; which
made her think, more than ever, that the poor old
gentleman’s head was a little cracked.
He was a very inquisitive body, and
when not in his room was continually poking about
town, hearing all the news, and prying into everything
that was going on; this was particularly the case
about election time, when he did nothing but bustle
about him from poll to poll, attending all ward meetings
and committee-rooms; though I could never find that
he took part with either side of the question.
On the contrary, he would come home and rail at both
parties with great wrath and plainly proved
one day to the satisfaction of my wife, and three
old ladies who were drinking tea with her, that the
two parties were like two rogues, each tugging at the
skirt of the nation; and that in the end they would
tear the very coat off its back, and expose its nakedness.
Indeed, he was an oracle among the neighbors, who
would collect around him to hear him talk of an afternoon,
as he smoked his pipe on the bench before the door;
and I really believe he would have brought over the
whole neighborhood to his own side of the question,
if they could ever have found out what it was.
He was very much given to argue, or,
as he called it, philosophize, about the most trifling
matter, and to do him justice, I never knew anybody
that was a match for him, except it was a grave-looking
old gentleman who called now and then to see him,
and often posed him in an argument. But this
is nothing surprising, as I have since found out this
stranger is the city librarian; and, of course, must
be a man of great learning; and I have my doubts if
he had not some hand in the following history.
As our lodger had been a long time
with us, and we had never received any pay, my wife
began to be somewhat uneasy, and curious to find out
who and what he was. She accordingly made bold
to put the question to his friend the librarian, who
replied, in his dry way, that he was one of the Literati;
which she supposed to mean some new party in politics.
I scorn to push a lodger for his pay, so I let day
after day pass on without dunning the old gentleman
for a farthing; but my wife, who always takes these
matters on herself, and is, as I said, a shrewd kind
of a woman, at last got out of patience, and hinted,
that she thought it high time “some people should
have a sight of some people’s money.”
To which the old gentleman replied in a mighty touchy
manner, that she need not make herself uneasy, for
that he had a treasure there (pointing to his saddle-bags)
worth her whole house put together. This was the
only answer we could ever get from him; and as my
wife, by some of those odd ways in which women find
out everything, learnt that he was of very great connections,
being related to the Knickerbockers of Scaghtikoke,
and cousin german to the Congressman of that name,
she did not like to treat him uncivilly. What
is more, she even offered, merely by way of making
things easy, to let him live scot-free, if he would
teach the children their letters; and to try her best
and get her neighbors to send their children also;
but the old gentleman took it in such dudgeon, and
seemed so affronted at being taken for a schoolmaster,
that she never dared to speak on the subject again.
About two months ago, he went out
of a morning, with a bundle in his hand and
has never been heard of since. All kinds of inquiries
were made after him, but in vain. I wrote to
his relations at Scaghtikoke, but they sent for answer,
that he had not been there since the year before last,
when he had a great dispute with the Congressman about
politics, and left the place in a huff, and they had
neither heard nor seen anything of him from that time
to this. I must own I felt very much worried about
the poor old gentleman; for I thought something bad
must have happened to him, that he should be missing
so long, and never return to pay his bill. I
therefore advertised him in the newspapers, and though
my melancholy advertisement was published by several
humane printers, yet I have never been able to learn
anything satisfactory about him.
My wife now said it was high time
to take care of ourselves, and see if he had left
anything behind in his room, that would pay us for
his board and lodging. We found nothing, however,
but some old books and musty writings, and his pair
of saddle-bags; which, being opened in the presence
of the librarian, contained only a few articles of
worn-out clothes and a large bundle of blotted paper.
On looking over this, the librarian told us, he had
no doubt it was the treasure which the old gentleman
had spoke about; as it proved to be a most excellent
and faithful History of New York, which he advised
us by all means to publish; assuring us that it would
be so eagerly bought up by a discerning public, that
he had no doubt it would be enough to pay our arrears
ten times over. Upon this we got a very learned
schoolmaster, who teaches our children, to prepare
it for the press, which he accordingly has done; and
has, moreover, added to it a number of notes of his
own; and an engraving of the city, as it was at the
time Mr. Knickerbocker writes about.
This, therefore, is a true statement
of my reasons for having this work printed, without
waiting for the consent of the author; and I here
declare, that if he ever returns (though I much fear
some unhappy accident has befallen him), I stand ready
to account with him like a true and honest man.
Which is all at present
From the public’s humble servant,
SETH HANDASIDE.
INDEPENDENT COLUMBIAN HOTEL, NEW YORK.
The foregoing account of the author was prefixed
to the first edition of this work. Shortly after
its publication, a letter was received from him, by
Mr. Handaside, dated at a small Dutch village on the
banks of the Hudson, whither he had traveled for the
purpose of inspecting certain ancient records.
As this was one of those few and happy villages, into
which newspapers never find their way, it is not a
matter of surprise, that Mr. Knickerbocker should
never have seen the numerous advertisements that were
made concerning him; and that he should learn of the
publication of his history by mere accident.
He expressed much concern at its premature
appearance, as thereby he was prevented from making
several important corrections and alterations:
as well as from profiting by many curious hints which
he had collected during his travels along the shores
of the Tappan Sea, and his sojourn at Haverstraw and
Esopus.
Finding that there was no longer any
immediate necessity for his return to New York, he
extended his journey up to the residence of his relations
at Scaghtikoke. On his way thither he stopped
for some days at Albany, for which city he is known
to have entertained a great partiality. He found
it, however, considerably altered, and was much concerned
at the inroads and improvements which the Yankees
were making, and the consequent decline of the good
old Dutch manners. Indeed, he was informed that
these intruders were making sad innovations in all
parts of the State; where they had given great trouble
and vexation to the regular Dutch settlers, by the
introduction of turnpike-gates and country school-houses.
It is said, also, that Mr. Knickerbocker shook his
head sorrowfully at noticing the gradual decay of
the great Vander Heyden palace; but was highly indignant
at finding that the ancient Dutch church, which stood
in the middle of the street, had been pulled down
since his last visit.
The fame of Mr. Knickerbocker’s
History having reached even to Albany, he received
much flattering attention from its worthy burghers;
some of whom, however, pointed out two or three very
great errors he had fallen into, particularly that
of suspending a lump of sugar over the Albany tea-tables,
which they assured him had been discontinued for some
years past. Several families, moreover, were
somewhat piqued that their ancestors had not been
mentioned in his work, and showed great jealousy of
their neighbors who had thus been distinguished; while
the latter, it must be confessed, plumed themselves
vastly thereupon; considering these recordings in
the lights of letters patent of nobility, establishing
their claims to ancestry, which, in this republican
country, is a matter of no little solicitude and vain-glory.
It is also said, that he enjoyed high
favor and countenance from the governor, who once
asked him to dinner, and was seen two or three times
to shake hands with him when they met in the street;
which certainly was going great lengths, considering
that they differed in politics. Indeed, certain
of the governor’s confidential friends, to whom
he could venture to speak his mind freely on such
matters, have assured us that he privately entertained
a considerable good-will for our author nay,
he even once went so far as to declare, and that openly
too, and at his own table, just after dinner, that
“Knickerbocker was a very well-meaning sort
of an old gentleman, and no fool.” From
all which may have been led to suppose, that, had
our author been of different politics, and written
for the newspapers instead of wasting his talents
on histories, he might have risen to some post of
honor and profit: peradventure to be a notary
public, or even a justice in the ten-pound court.
Besides the honors and civilities
already mentioned, he was much caressed by the literati
of Albany; particularly by Mr. John Cook, who entertained
him very hospitably at his circulating library and
reading-room, where they used to drink Spa water, and
talk about the ancients. He found Mr. Cook a
man after his own heart of great literary
research, and a curious collector of books At parting,
the latter, in testimony of friendship, made him a
present of the two oldest works in his collection;
which were, the earliest edition of the Heidelberg
Catechism, and Adrian Vander Donck’s famous
account of the New Netherlands; by the last of which
Mr. Knickerbocker profited greatly in this his second
edition.
Having passed some time very agreeably
at Albany, our author proceeded to Scaghtikoke; where,
it is but justice to say, he was received with open
arms, and treated with wonderful loving-kindness.
He was much looked up to by the family, being the
first historian of the name; and was considered almost
as great a man as his cousin the Congressman with
whom, by-the-by, he became perfectly reconciled, and
contracted a strong friendship.
In spite, however, of the kindness
of his relations, and their great attention to his
comforts, the old gentleman soon became restless and
discontented. His history being published, he
had no longer any business to occupy his thoughts,
or any scheme to excite his hopes and anticipations.
This, to a busy mind like his, was a truly deplorable
situation; and had he not been a man of inflexible
morals and regular habits, there would have been great
danger of his taking to politics or drinking both
which pernicious vices we daily see men driven to by
mere spleen and idleness.
It is true he sometimes employed himself
in preparing a second edition of his history, wherein
he endeavored to correct and improve many passages
with which he was dissatisfied, and to rectify some
mistakes that had crept into it; for he was particularly
anxious that his work should be noted for its authenticity;
which, indeed, is the very life and soul of history.
But the glow of composition had departed he
had to leave many places untouched which he would
fain have altered; and even where he did make alterations,
he seemed always in doubt whether they were for the
better or the worse.
After a residence of some time at
Scaghtikoke, he began to feel a strong desire to return
to New York, which he ever regarded with the warmest
affection; not merely because it was his native city,
but because he really considered it the very best
city in the whole world. On his return he entered
into the full enjoyment of the advantages of a literary
reputation. He was continually importuned to write
advertisements, petitions, handbills, and productions
of similar import; and, although he never meddled
with the public papers, yet had he the credit of writing
innumerable essays, and smart things, that appeared
on all subjects, and all sides of the question, in
all which he was clearly detected “by his style.”
He contracted, moreover, a considerable
debt at the postoffice, in consequence of the numerous
letter he received from authors and printers soliciting
his subscription and he was applied to by
every charitable society for yearly donations, which
he gave very cheerfully, considering these applications
as so many compliments. He was once invited to
a great corporation dinner; and was even twice summoned
to attend as a juryman at the court of quarter sessions.
Indeed, so renowned did he become, that he could no
longer pry about, as formerly, in all holes and corners
of the city, according to the bent of his humor, unnoticed
and uninterrupted; but several times when he has been
sauntering the streets, on his usual rambles of observation,
equipped with his cane and cocked hat, the little
boys at play have been known to cry, “There goes
Diedrich!” at which the old gentleman seemed
not a little pleased, looking upon these salutations
in the light of the praise of posterity.
In a word, if we take into consideration
all these various honors and distinctions, together
with an exuberant eulogium, passed on his in the Portfolio
(with which, we are told, the old gentleman was so
much overpowered, that he was sick for two or three
days) it must be confessed that few authors have ever
lived to receive such illustrious rewards, or have
so completely enjoyed in advance their own immortality.
After his return from Scaghtikoke,
Mr. Knickerbocker took up his residence at a little
rural retreat, which the Stuyvesants had granted him
on the family domain, in gratitude for his honorable
mention of their ancestor. It was pleasantly
situated on the borders of one of the salt marshes
beyond Corlear’s Hook; subject, indeed, to be
occasionally over-flowed, and much infested, in the
summer-time, with mosquitoes; but otherwise very agreeable,
producing abundant crops of salt grass and bulrushes.
Here, we are sorry to say, the good
old gentleman fell dangerously ill of a fever, occasioned
by the neighboring marshes. When he found his
end approaching, he disposed of his worldly affairs,
leaving the bulk of his fortune to the New York Historical
Society; his Heidelberg Catechism and Vander Donck’s
work to the City Library; and his saddle-bags to Mr.
Handaside. He forgave all his enemies that
is to say, all that bore any enmity towards him; for
as to himself, he declared he died in good-will to
all the world. And, after dictating several kind
messages, to his relations at Scaghtikoke, as well
as to certain of our most substantial Dutch citizens,
he expired in the arms of his friend the librarian.
His remains were interred, according
to his own request, in St. Mark’s Churchyard,
close by the bones of his favorite hero, Peter Stuyvesant;
and it is rumored that the Historical Society have
it in mind to erect a wooden monument to his memory
in the Bowling Green.