They asked us considerable many
questions; wanted to know what we covered up the raft
that way for, and laid by in the daytime instead of
running was Jim a runaway nigger?
Says I:
“Goodness sakes! would a runaway nigger run
south?”
No, they allowed he wouldn’t.
I had to account for things some way, so I says:
“My folks was living in Pike
County, in Missouri, where I was born, and they all
died off but me and pa and my brother Ike. Pa,
he ’lowed he’d break up and go down and
live with Uncle Ben, who’s got a little one-horse
place on the river, forty-four mile below Orleans.
Pa was pretty poor, and had some debts; so when he’d
squared up there warn’t nothing left but sixteen
dollars and our nigger, Jim. That warn’t
enough to take us fourteen hundred mile, deck passage
nor no other way. Well, when the river rose
pa had a streak of luck one day; he ketched this piece
of a raft; so we reckoned we’d go down to Orleans
on it. Pa’s luck didn’t hold out;
a steamboat run over the forrard corner of the raft
one night, and we all went overboard and dove under
the wheel; Jim and me come up all right, but pa was
drunk, and Ike was only four years old, so they never
come up no more. Well, for the next day or two
we had considerable trouble, because people was always
coming out in skiffs and trying to take Jim away from
me, saying they believed he was a runaway nigger.
We don’t run daytimes no more now; nights they
don’t bother us.”
The duke says:
“Leave me alone to cipher out
a way so we can run in the daytime if we want to.
I’ll think the thing over I’ll
invent a plan that’ll fix it. We’ll
let it alone for to-day, because of course we don’t
want to go by that town yonder in daylight it
mightn’t be healthy.”
Towards night it begun to darken up
and look like rain; the heat lightning was squirting
around low down in the sky, and the leaves was beginning
to shiver it was going to be pretty ugly,
it was easy to see that. So the duke and the
king went to overhauling our wigwam, to see what the
beds was like. My bed was a straw tick better
than Jim’s, which was a corn-shuck tick; there’s
always cobs around about in a shuck tick, and they
poke into you and hurt; and when you roll over the
dry shucks sound like you was rolling over in a pile
of dead leaves; it makes such a rustling that you
wake up. Well, the duke allowed he would take
my bed; but the king allowed he wouldn’t.
He says:
“I should a reckoned the difference
in rank would a sejested to you that a corn-shuck
bed warn’t just fitten for me to sleep on.
Your Grace ’ll take the shuck bed yourself.”
Jim and me was in a sweat again for
a minute, being afraid there was going to be some
more trouble amongst them; so we was pretty glad when
the duke says:
“’Tis my fate to be always
ground into the mire under the iron heel of oppression.
Misfortune has broken my once haughty spirit; I yield,
I submit; ’tis my fate. I am alone in
the world let me suffer; can bear it.”
We got away as soon as it was good
and dark. The king told us to stand well out
towards the middle of the river, and not show a light
till we got a long ways below the town. We come
in sight of the little bunch of lights by and by that
was the town, you know and slid by, about
a half a mile out, all right. When we was three-quarters
of a mile below we hoisted up our signal lantern;
and about ten o’clock it come on to rain and
blow and thunder and lighten like everything; so the
king told us to both stay on watch till the weather
got better; then him and the duke crawled into the
wigwam and turned in for the night. It was my
watch below till twelve, but I wouldn’t a turned
in anyway if I’d had a bed, because a body don’t
see such a storm as that every day in the week, not
by a long sight. My souls, how the wind did scream
along! And every second or two there’d
come a glare that lit up the white-caps for a half
a mile around, and you’d see the islands looking
dusty through the rain, and the trees thrashing around
in the wind; then comes a H-whack! bum!
bum! bumble-umble-um-bum-bum-bum-bum and
the thunder would go rumbling and grumbling away,
and quit and then rip comes another
flash and another sockdolager. The waves most
washed me off the raft sometimes, but I hadn’t
any clothes on, and didn’t mind. We didn’t
have no trouble about snags; the lightning was glaring
and flittering around so constant that we could see
them plenty soon enough to throw her head this way
or that and miss them.
I had the middle watch, you know,
but I was pretty sleepy by that time, so Jim he said
he would stand the first half of it for me; he was
always mighty good that way, Jim was. I crawled
into the wigwam, but the king and the duke had their
legs sprawled around so there warn’t no show
for me; so I laid outside I didn’t
mind the rain, because it was warm, and the waves
warn’t running so high now. About two they
come up again, though, and Jim was going to call me;
but he changed his mind, because he reckoned they
warn’t high enough yet to do any harm; but he
was mistaken about that, for pretty soon all of a
sudden along comes a regular ripper and washed me
overboard. It most killed Jim a-laughing.
He was the easiest nigger to laugh that ever was,
anyway.
I took the watch, and Jim he laid
down and snored away; and by and by the storm let
up for good and all; and the first cabin-light that
showed I rousted him out, and we slid the raft into
hiding quarters for the day.
The king got out an old ratty deck
of cards after breakfast, and him and the duke played
seven-up a while, five cents a game. Then they
got tired of it, and allowed they would “lay
out a campaign,” as they called it. The
duke went down into his carpet-bag, and fetched up
a lot of little printed bills and read them out loud.
One bill said, “The celebrated Dr. Armand de
Montalban, of Paris,” would “lecture on
the Science of Phrenology” at such and such
a place, on the blank day of blank, at ten cents admission,
and “furnish charts of character at twenty-five
cents apiece.” The duke said that was
him. In another bill he was the “world-renowned
Shakespearian tragedian, Garrick the Younger, of Drury
Lane, London.” In other bills he had a
lot of other names and done other wonderful things,
like finding water and gold with a “divining-rod,”
“dissipating witch spells,” and so on.
By and by he says:
“But the histrionic muse is
the darling. Have you ever trod the boards,
Royalty?”
“No,” says the king.
“You shall, then, before you’re
three days older, Fallen Grandeur,” says the
duke. “The first good town we come to we’ll
hire a hall and do the sword fight in Richard III.
and the balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet. How
does that strike you?”
“I’m in, up to the hub,
for anything that will pay, Bilgewater; but, you see,
I don’t know nothing about play-actin’,
and hain’t ever seen much of it. I was
too small when pap used to have ’em at the palace.
Do you reckon you can learn me?”
“Easy!”
“All right. I’m
jist a-freezn’ for something fresh, anyway.
Le’s commence right away.”
So the duke he told him all about
who Romeo was and who Juliet was, and said he was
used to being Romeo, so the king could be Juliet.
“But if Juliet’s such
a young gal, duke, my peeled head and my white whiskers
is goin’ to look oncommon odd on her, maybe.”
“No, don’t you worry;
these country jakes won’t ever think of that.
Besides, you know, you’ll be in costume, and
that makes all the difference in the world; Juliet’s
in a balcony, enjoying the moonlight before she goes
to bed, and she’s got on her night-gown and her
ruffled nightcap. Here are the costumes for
the parts.”
He got out two or three curtain-calico
suits, which he said was meedyevil armor for Richard
III. and t’other chap, and a long white cotton
nightshirt and a ruffled nightcap to match. The
king was satisfied; so the duke got out his book and
read the parts over in the most splendid spread-eagle
way, prancing around and acting at the same time, to
show how it had got to be done; then he give the book
to the king and told him to get his part by heart.
There was a little one-horse town
about three mile down the bend, and after dinner the
duke said he had ciphered out his idea about how to
run in daylight without it being dangersome for Jim;
so he allowed he would go down to the town and fix
that thing. The king allowed he would go, too,
and see if he couldn’t strike something.
We was out of coffee, so Jim said I better go along
with them in the canoe and get some.
When we got there there warn’t
nobody stirring; streets empty, and perfectly dead
and still, like Sunday. We found a sick nigger
sunning himself in a back yard, and he said everybody
that warn’t too young or too sick or too old
was gone to camp-meeting, about two mile back in the
woods. The king got the directions, and allowed
he’d go and work that camp-meeting for all it
was worth, and I might go, too.
The duke said what he was after was
a printing-office. We found it; a little bit
of a concern, up over a carpenter shop carpenters
and printers all gone to the meeting, and no doors
locked. It was a dirty, littered-up place, and
had ink marks, and handbills with pictures of horses
and runaway niggers on them, all over the walls.
The duke shed his coat and said he was all right
now. So me and the king lit out for the camp-meeting.
We got there in about a half an hour
fairly dripping, for it was a most awful hot day.
There was as much as a thousand people there from
twenty mile around. The woods was full of teams
and wagons, hitched everywheres, feeding out of the
wagon-troughs and stomping to keep off the flies.
There was sheds made out of poles and roofed over
with branches, where they had lemonade and gingerbread
to sell, and piles of watermelons and green corn and
such-like truck.
The preaching was going on under the
same kinds of sheds, only they was bigger and held
crowds of people. The benches was made out of
outside slabs of logs, with holes bored in the round
side to drive sticks into for legs. They didn’t
have no backs. The preachers had high platforms
to stand on at one end of the sheds. The women
had on sun-bonnets; and some had linsey-woolsey frocks,
some gingham ones, and a few of the young ones had
on calico. Some of the young men was barefooted,
and some of the children didn’t have on any
clothes but just a tow-linen shirt. Some of
the old women was knitting, and some of the young folks
was courting on the sly.
The first shed we come to the preacher
was lining out a hymn. He lined out two lines,
everybody sung it, and it was kind of grand to hear
it, there was so many of them and they done it in
such a rousing way; then he lined out two more for
them to sing and so on. The people
woke up more and more, and sung louder and louder;
and towards the end some begun to groan, and some
begun to shout. Then the preacher begun to preach,
and begun in earnest, too; and went weaving first
to one side of the platform and then the other, and
then a-leaning down over the front of it, with his
arms and his body going all the time, and shouting
his words out with all his might; and every now and
then he would hold up his Bible and spread it open,
and kind of pass it around this way and that, shouting,
“It’s the brazen serpent in the wilderness!
Look upon it and live!” And people would shout
out, “Glory! A-a-men!”
And so he went on, and the people groaning and crying
and saying amen:
“Oh, come to the mourners’
bench! come, black with sin! (Amen!) come, sick
and sore! (Amen!) come, lame and halt and blind!
(Amen!) come, pore and needy, sunk in shame!
(A-A-men!) come, all that’s worn and soiled
and suffering! come with a broken spirit!
come with a contrite heart! come in your rags and
sin and dirt! the waters that cleanse is free, the
door of heaven stands open oh, enter in
and be at rest!” (A-A-men! Glory,
glory hallelujah!)
And so on. You couldn’t
make out what the preacher said any more, on account
of the shouting and crying. Folks got up everywheres
in the crowd, and worked their way just by main strength
to the mourners’ bench, with the tears running
down their faces; and when all the mourners had got
up there to the front benches in a crowd, they sung
and shouted and flung themselves down on the straw,
just crazy and wild.
Well, the first I knowed the king
got a-going, and you could hear him over everybody;
and next he went a-charging up on to the platform,
and the preacher he begged him to speak to the people,
and he done it. He told them he was a pirate been
a pirate for thirty years out in the Indian Ocean and
his crew was thinned out considerable last spring in
a fight, and he was home now to take out some fresh
men, and thanks to goodness he’d been robbed
last night and put ashore off of a steamboat without
a cent, and he was glad of it; it was the blessedest
thing that ever happened to him, because he was a
changed man now, and happy for the first time in his
life; and, poor as he was, he was going to start right
off and work his way back to the Indian Ocean, and
put in the rest of his life trying to turn the pirates
into the true path; for he could do it better than
anybody else, being acquainted with all pirate crews
in that ocean; and though it would take him a long
time to get there without money, he would get there
anyway, and every time he convinced a pirate he would
say to him, “Don’t you thank me, don’t
you give me no credit; it all belongs to them dear
people in Pokeville camp-meeting, natural brothers
and benefactors of the race, and that dear preacher
there, the truest friend a pirate ever had!”
And then he busted into tears, and
so did everybody. Then somebody sings out, “Take
up a collection for him, take up a collection!”
Well, a half a dozen made a jump to do it, but somebody
sings out, “Let him pass the hat around!”
Then everybody said it, the preacher too.
So the king went all through the crowd
with his hat swabbing his eyes, and blessing the people
and praising them and thanking them for being so good
to the poor pirates away off there; and every little
while the prettiest kind of girls, with the tears
running down their cheeks, would up and ask him would
he let them kiss him for to remember him by; and he
always done it; and some of them he hugged and kissed
as many as five or six times and he was
invited to stay a week; and everybody wanted him to
live in their houses, and said they’d think it
was an honor; but he said as this was the last day
of the camp-meeting he couldn’t do no good, and
besides he was in a sweat to get to the Indian Ocean
right off and go to work on the pirates.
When we got back to the raft and he
come to count up he found he had collected eighty-seven
dollars and seventy-five cents. And then he had
fetched away a three-gallon jug of whisky, too, that
he found under a wagon when he was starting home through
the woods. The king said, take it all around,
it laid over any day he’d ever put in in the
missionarying line. He said it warn’t
no use talking, heathens don’t amount to shucks
alongside of pirates to work a camp-meeting with.
The duke was thinking he’d
been doing pretty well till the king come to show
up, but after that he didn’t think so so much.
He had set up and printed off two little jobs for
farmers in that printing-office horse bills and
took the money, four dollars. And he had got
in ten dollars’ worth of advertisements for
the paper, which he said he would put in for four
dollars if they would pay in advance so
they done it. The price of the paper was two
dollars a year, but he took in three subscriptions
for half a dollar apiece on condition of them paying
him in advance; they were going to pay in cordwood
and onions as usual, but he said he had just bought
the concern and knocked down the price as low as he
could afford it, and was going to run it for cash.
He set up a little piece of poetry, which he made,
himself, out of his own head three verses kind
of sweet and saddish the name of it was,
“Yes, crush, cold world, this breaking heart” and
he left that all set up and ready to print in the
paper, and didn’t charge nothing for it.
Well, he took in nine dollars and a half, and said
he’d done a pretty square day’s work for
it.
Then he showed us another little job
he’d printed and hadn’t charged for, because
it was for us. It had a picture of a runaway
nigger with a bundle on a stick over his shoulder,
and “$200 reward” under it. The
reading was all about Jim, and just described him to
a dot. It said he run away from St. Jacques’
plantation, forty mile below New Orleans, last winter,
and likely went north, and whoever would catch him
and send him back he could have the reward and expenses.
“Now,” says the duke,
“after to-night we can run in the daytime if
we want to. Whenever we see anybody coming we
can tie Jim hand and foot with a rope, and lay him
in the wigwam and show this handbill and say we captured
him up the river, and were too poor to travel on a
steamboat, so we got this little raft on credit from
our friends and are going down to get the reward.
Handcuffs and chains would look still better on Jim,
but it wouldn’t go well with the story of us
being so poor. Too much like jewelry.
Ropes are the correct thing we must preserve
the unities, as we say on the boards.”
We all said the duke was pretty smart,
and there couldn’t be no trouble about running
daytimes. We judged we could make miles enough
that night to get out of the reach of the powwow we
reckoned the duke’s work in the printing office
was going to make in that little town; then we could
boom right along if we wanted to.
We laid low and kept still, and never
shoved out till nearly ten o’clock; then we
slid by, pretty wide away from the town, and didn’t
hoist our lantern till we was clear out of sight of
it.
When Jim called me to take the watch
at four in the morning, he says:
“Huck, does you reck’n
we gwyne to run acrost any mo’ kings on dis
trip?”
“No,” I says, “I reckon not.”
“Well,” says he, “dat’s
all right, den. I doan’ mine one er two
kings, but dat’s enough. Dis one’s
powerful drunk, en de duke ain’ much better.”
I found Jim had been trying to get
him to talk French, so he could hear what it was like;
but he said he had been in this country so long, and
had so much trouble, he’d forgot it.