With every one, of course, the measurement
of time depends largely upon the state of the emotions,
but in Jimbo’s case it was curiously exaggerated.
This may have been because he had no standard of memory
by which to test the succession of minutes; but, whatever
it was, the hours passed very quickly, and the evening
shadows were already darkening the room when at length
he got up from the mattress and went over to the window.
Outside the high elms were growing
dim; soon the stars would be out in the sky.
The afternoon had passed away like magic, and the governess
still left him alone; he could not quite understand
why she went away for such long periods.
The darkness came down very swiftly,
and it was night almost before he knew it. Yet
he felt no drowsiness, no desire to yawn and get under
sheets and blankets; sleep was evidently out of the
question, and the hours slipped away so rapidly that
it made little difference whether he sat up all night
or whether he slept.
It was his first night in the Empty
House, and he wondered how many more he would spend
there before escape came. He stood at the window,
peering out into the growing darkness and thinking
long, long thoughts. Below him yawned the black
gulf of the yard, and the outline of the enclosing
wall was only just visible, but beyond the elms rose
far into the sky, and he could hear the wind singing
softly in their branches. The sound was very
sweet; it suggested freedom, and the flight of birds,
and all that was wild and unrestrained. The wind
could never really be a prisoner; its voice sang of
open spaces and unbounded distances, of flying clouds
and mountains, of mighty woods and dancing waves; above
all, of wings free, swift, and unconquerable
wings.
But this rushing song of wind among
the leaves made him feel too sad to listen long, and
he lay down upon the bed again, still thinking, thinking.
The house was utterly still.
Not a thing stirred within its walls. He felt
lonely, and began to long for the companionship of
the governess; he would have called aloud for her
to come only he was afraid to break the appalling
silence. He wondered where she was all this time
and how she spent the long, dark hours of the sleepless
nights. Were all these things really true that
she told him? Was he actually out of his body,
and was his name really Jimbo? His thoughts kept
groping backwards, ever seeking the other companions
he had lost; but, like a piece of stretched elastic
too short to reach its object, they always came back
with a snap just when he seemed on the point of finding
them. He wanted these companions very badly indeed,
but the struggling of his memory was painful, and
he could not keep the effort up for very long at one
time.
The effort once relaxed, however,
his thoughts wandered freely where they would; and
there rose before his mind’s eye dim suggestions
of memories far more distant ghostly scenes
and faces that passed before him in endless succession,
but always faded away before he could properly seize
and name them.
This memory, so stubborn as regards
quite recent events, began to play strange tricks
with him. It carried him away into a Past so remote
that he could not connect it with himself at all,
and it was like dreaming of scenes and events that
had happened to some one else; yet, all the time,
he knew quite well those things had happened to him,
and to none else. It was the memory of the soul
asserting itself now that the clamour of the body
was low. It was an underground river coming to
the surface, for odd minutes, here and there, showing
its waters to the stars just long enough to catch
their ghostly reflections before it rolled away underground
again.
Yet, swift and transitory as they
were, these glimpses brought in their train sensations
that were too powerful ever to have troubled his child-mind
in its present body. They stirred in him the strong
emotions, the ecstasies, the terrors, the yearnings
of a much more distant past; whispering to him, could
he but have understood, of an infinitely deeper layer
of memories and experiences which, now released from
the burden of the immediate years, strove to awaken
into life again. The soul in that little body
covered with alpaca knickerbockers and a sailor blouse
seemed suddenly to have access to a storehouse of knowledge
that must have taken centuries, rather than a few
short years, to acquire.
It was all very queer. The feeling
of tremendous age grew mysteriously over him.
He realised that he had been wandering for ages.
He had been to the stars and also to the deeps; he
had roamed over strange mountains far away from cities
or inhabited places of the earth, and had lived by
streams whose waves were silvered by moonlight dropping
softly through whispering palm branches....
Some of these ghostly memories brought
him sensations of keenest happiness icy,
silver, radiant; others swept through his heart like
a cold wave, leaving behind a feeling of unutterable
woe, and a sense of loneliness that almost made him
cry aloud. And there came Voices too Voices
that had slept so long in the inner kingdoms of silence
that they failed to rouse in him the very slightest
emotion of recognition....
Worn out at length with the surging
of these strange hosts through him, he got up and
went to the open window again. The night was very
dark and warm, but the stars had disappeared, and
there was the hush and the faint odour of coming rain
in the air. He smelt leaves and the earth and
the moist things of the ground, the wonderful perfume
of the life of the soil.
The wind had dropped; all was silent
as the grave; the leaves of the elm trees were motionless;
no bird or insect raised its voice; everything slept;
he alone was watchful, awake. Leaning over the
window-sill, his thoughts searched for the governess,
and he wondered anew where she was spending the dark
hours. She, too, he felt sure, was wakeful somewhere,
watching with him, plotting their escape together,
and always mindful of his safety....
His reverie was suddenly interrupted
by the flight of an immense night-bird dropping through
the air just above his head. He sprang back into
the room with a startled cry, as it rushed past in
the darkness with a great swishing of wings.
The size of the creature filled him with awe; it was
so close that the wind it made lifted the hair on his
forehead, and he could almost feel the feathers brush
his cheeks. He strained his eyes to try and follow
it, but the shadows were too deep and he could see
nothing; only in the distance, growing every moment
fainter, he could hear the noise of big wings threshing
the air. He waited a little, wondering if another
bird would follow it, or if it would presently return
to its perch on the roof; and then his thoughts passed
on to uncertain memories of other big birds hawks,
owls, eagles that he had seen somewhere
in places now beyond the reach of distinct recollections....
Soon the light began to dawn in the
east, and he made out the shape of the elm trees and
the dreadful prison wall; and with the first real
touch of morning light he heard a familiar creaking
sound in the room behind him, and saw the black hood
of the governess rising through the trap-door in the
floor.
“But you’ve left me alone
all night!” he said at once reproachfully, as
she kissed him.
“On purpose,” she answered.
“He’d get suspicious if I stayed too much
with you. It’s different in the daytime,
when he can’t see properly.”
“Where’s he been all night, then?”
asked the boy.
“Last night he was out most of the time hunting ”
“Hunting!” he repeated, with excitement.
“Hunting what?”
“Children frightened
children,” she replied, lowering her voice.
“That’s how he found you.”
It was a horrible thought Fright
hunting for victims to bring to his dreadful prison and
Jimbo shivered as he heard it.
“And how did you get on all
this time?” she asked, hurriedly changing the
subject.
“I’ve been remembering,
that is half-remembering, an awful lot of things,
and feeling, oh, so old. I never want to remember
anything again,” he said wearily.
“You’ll forget quick enough
when you get back into your body, and have only the
body-memories,” she said, with a sigh that he
did not understand. “But, now tell me,”
she added, in a more serious voice, “have you
had any pain yet?”
He shook his head. She stepped up beside him.
“None there?” she
asked, touching him lightly just behind the shoulder
blades.
Jimbo jumped as if he had been shot,
and uttered a piercing yell.
“That hurts!” he screamed.
“I’m so glad,” cried
the governess. “That’s the pains coming
at last.” Her face was beaming.
“Coming!” he echoed, “I
think they’ve come. But if they hurt
as much as that, I think I’d rather not escape,”
he added ruefully.
“The pain won’t last more
than a minute,” she said calmly. “You
must be brave and stand it. There’s no
escape without pain from anything.”
“If there’s no other way,”
he said pluckily, “I’ll try, but ”
“You see,” she went on,
rather absently, “at this very moment the doctor
is probing the wounds in your back where the horns
went in ”
But he was not listening. Her
explanations always made him want either to cry or
to laugh. This time he laughed, and the governess
joined him, while they sat on the edge of the bed
together talking of many things. He did not understand
all her explanations, but it comforted him to hear
them. So long as somebody understood, no matter
who, he felt it was all right.
In this way several days and nights
passed quickly away. The pains were apparently
no nearer, but as Miss Lake showed no particular anxiety
about their non-arrival, he waited patiently too, dreading
the moment, yet also looking forward to it exceedingly.
During the day the governess spent
most of the time in the room with him; but at night,
when he was alone, the darkness became enchanted, the
room haunted, and he passed into the long, long Gallery
of Ancient Memories.