Now that he was preparing to leave
it, Jimbo began to realise more fully how things in
this world of delirium so the governess
sometimes called it were all terribly out
of order and confused. So long as he was wholly
in it and of it, everything had seemed all right; but,
as he approached his normal condition again, the disorder
became more and more apparent.
And the next few hours brought it
home with startling clearness, and increased to fever
heat the desire for final escape.
It was not so much a nonsense-world it
was too alarming for that as a world of
nightmare, wherein everything was distorted. Events
in it were all out of proportion; effects no longer
sprang from adequate causes; things happened in a
dislocated sort of way, and there was no sequence
in the order of their happening. Tiny occurrences
filled him with disproportionate, inconceivable horror;
and great events, on the other hand, passed him scathless.
The spirit of disorder monstrous, uncouth,
terrifying reigned supreme; and Jimbo’s
whole desire, though inarticulate, was to escape back
into order and harmony again.
In contrast to all this dreadful uncertainty,
the conduct of the governess stood out alone as the
one thing he could count upon: she was sure and
unfailing; he felt absolute confidence in her plans
for his safety, and when he thought of her his mind
was at rest. Come what might, she would always
be there in time to help. The adventure over the
sea had proved that; but, childlike, he thought chiefly
of his own safety, and had ceased to care very much
whether she escaped with him or not. It was the
older Jimbo that preferred captivity to escape without
her, whereas every minute now he was sinking deeper
into the normal child state in which the intuitive
flashes from the buried soul became more and more
rare.
Meanwhile, there was preparation going
on, secret and mysterious. He could feel it.
Some one else besides the governess was making plans,
and the boy began to dread the moment of escape almost
as much as he desired it. The alternative appalled
him to live for ever in the horror of this
house, bounded by the narrow yard, watched by Fright
listening ever at his elbow, and visited by the horrible
Frightened Children. Even the governess herself
began to inspire him with something akin to fear,
as her personality grew more and more mysterious.
He thought of her as she stood by the window, with
the branches of the tree visible through her body,
and the thought filled him with a dreadful and haunting
distress.
But this was only when she was absent;
the moment she came into the room, and he looked into
her kind eyes, the old feeling of security returned,
and he felt safe and happy.
Once, during the day, she came up
to see him, and this time with final instructions.
Jimbo listened with rapt attention.
“To-night, or to-morrow night
we start,” she said in a quiet voice. “You
must wait till you hear me calling ”
“But sha’n’t we start together?”
he interrupted.
“Not exactly,” she replied.
“I’m doing everything possible to put him
off the scent, but it’s not easy, for once Fright
knows you he’s always on the watch. Even
if he can’t prevent your escape, he’ll
try to send you home to your body with such a shock
that you’ll be only ‘half there’
for the rest of your life.”
Jimbo did not quite understand what
she meant by this, and returned at once to the main
point.
“Then the moment you call I’m to start?”
“Yes. I shall be outside
somewhere. It depends on the wind and weather
a little, but probably I shall be hovering above the
trees. You must dash out of the window and join
me the moment you hear me call. Clear the wall
without sinking into the yard, and mind he doesn’t
tear your wings off as you fly by.”
“What will happen, though, if
I don’t find you?” he asked.
“You might get lost. If
he succeeds in getting me out of the way first, you’re
sure to get lost ”
“But I’ve had long flights
without getting lost,” he objected.
“Nothing to this one,”
she replied. “It will be tremendous.
You see, Jimbo, it’s not only distance; it’s
change of condition as well.”
“I don’t mind what it
is so long as we escape together,” he said,
puzzled by her words.
He kept his eyes fixed on her face.
It seemed to him she was changing even as he looked
at her. A sort of veil lifted from her features.
He fancied he could see the shape of the door through
her body.
“Oh, please, Miss Lake ”
he began in a frightened voice, taking a step towards
her. “What is the matter? You look
so different!”
“Nothing, dearest boy, is the
matter,” she replied faintly. “I feel
sad at the thought of your of our going,
that’s all. But that’s nothing,”
she added more briskly, “and remember, I’ve
told you exactly what to do; so you can’t make
any mistake. Now good-bye for the present.”
There was a smile on her face that
he had never seen there before, and an expression
of tenderness and love that he could not fail to understand.
But even as he looked she seemed to fade away into
a delicate, thin shadow as she moved slowly towards
the trap-door. Jimbo stretched out his arms to
touch her, for the moment of dread had passed, and
he wanted to kiss her.
“No!” she cried sharply.
“Don’t touch me, child; don’t touch
me!”
But he was already close beside her,
and in another second would have had his arms round
her, when his foot stumbled over something, and he
fell forward into her with his full weight. Instead
of saving himself against her body, however, he fell
clean through her! Nothing stopped him;
there was no resistance; he met nothing more solid
than air, and fell full length upon the floor.
Before he could recover from his surprise and pick
himself up, something touched him on the lips, and
he heard a voice that was faint as a whisper saying,
“Good-bye, darling child, and bless you.”
The next moment he was on his feet again and the room
was empty. The governess had gone through the
trap-door, and he was alone.
It was all very strange and confusing,
and he could not understand what was happening to
her. He never for a moment realised that the change
was in himself, and that as the tie between himself
and his body became closer, the things of this other
world he had been living in for so long must fade
gradually away into shadows and emptiness.
But Jimbo was a brave boy; there was
nothing of the coward in him, though his sensitive
temperament made him sometimes hesitate where an ordinary
child with less imagination would have acted promptly.
The desire to cry he thrust down and repressed, fighting
his depression by the thought that within a few hours
the voice might sound that should call him to the
excitement of the last flight and freedom.
The rest of the daylight slipped away
very quickly, and the room was full of shadows almost
before he knew it. Then came the darkness.
Outside, the wind rose and fell fitfully, booming in
the chimney with hollow music, and sighing round the
walls of the house. A few stars peeped between
the branches of the elms, but masses of cloud hid most
of the sky, and the air felt heavy with coming rain.
He lay down on the bed and waited.
At the least sound he started, thinking it might be
the call from the governess. But the few sounds
he did hear always resolved themselves into the moaning
of the wind, and no voice came. With his eyes
on the open window, trying to pierce the gloom and
find the stars, he lay motionless for hours, while
the night wore on and the shadows deepened.
And during those long hours of darkness
and silence he was conscious that a change was going
on within him. Name it he could not, but somehow
it made him feel that living people like himself were
standing near, trying to speak, beckoning, anxious
to bring him back into their own particular world.
The darkness was so great that he could see only the
square outline of the open window, but he felt sure
that any sudden flash of light would have revealed
a group of persons round his bed with arms outstretched,
trying to reach him. The emotion they roused in
him was not fear, for he felt sure they were kind,
and eager only to help him; and the more he realised
their presence, the less he thought about the governess
who had been doing so much to make his escape possible.
Then, too, voices began to sound somewhere
in the air, but he could not tell whether they were
actually in the room, or outside in the night, or
only within himself in his own head: strange,
faint voices, whispering, laughing, shouting, crying;
fragments of stories, rhymes, riddles, odd names of
people and places jostled one another with varying
degrees of clearness, now loud, now soft, till he wondered
what it all meant, and longed for the light to come.
But besides all this, something else,
too, was abroad that night something he
could not name or even think about without shaking
with terror down at the very roots of his being.
And when he thought of this, his heart called loudly
for the governess, and the people hidden in the shadows
of the room seemed quite useless and unable to help.
Thus he hovered between the two worlds
and the two memories, phantoms and realities shifting
and changing places every few minutes.
A little light would have saved him
much suffering. If only the moon were up!
Moonlight would have made all the difference.
Even a moon half hidden and misty would have put the
shadows farther away from him.
“Dear old misty moon!”
he cried half aloud to himself upon the bed, “why
aren’t you here to-night? My last night!”
Misty Moon, Misty Moon! The words
kept ringing in his head. Misty Moon, Misty Moon!
They swam round in his blood in an odd, tumultuous
rhythm. Every time the current of blood passed
through his brain in the course of its circulation
it brought the words with it, altered a little, and
singing like a voice.
Like a voice! Suddenly he made
the discovery that it actually was a voice and
not his own. It was no longer the blood singing
in his veins, it was some one singing outside the
window. The sound began faintly and far away,
up above the trees; then it came gradually nearer,
only to die away again almost to a whisper.
If it was not the voice of the governess,
he could only say it was a very good imitation of
it.
The words forming out of the empty
air rose and fell with the wind, and, taking his thoughts,
flung them in a stream through the dark sky towards
the hidden, misty moon:
“O misty moon,
Dear, misty moon,
The nights are long without thee;
The shadows creep
Across my sleep,
And fold their wings about me!”
And another silvery voice, that might
have been the voice of a star, took it up faintly,
evidently from a much greater distance:
“O misty moon,
Sweet, misty moon,
The stars are dim behind thee;
And, lo, thy beams
Spin through my dreams
And weave a veil to blind me!”
The sound of this beautiful voice
so delighted Jimbo that he sprang from his bed and
rushed to the window, hoping that he might be able
to hear it more clearly. But, before he got half-way
across the room, he stopped short, trembling with
terror. Underneath his very feet, in the depths
of the house, he heard the awful voice he dreaded more
than anything else. It roared out the lines with
a sound like the rushing of a great river:
“O misty moon,
Pale misty moon,
Thy songs are nightly driven,
Eternally,
From sky to sky,
O’er the old, grey Hills of
Heaven!”
And after the verse Jimbo heard a
great peal of laughter that seemed to shake the walls
of the house, and rooted his feet to the floor.
It rolled away with thundering echoes into the very
bowels of the earth. He just managed to crawl
back to his mattress and lie down, when another voice
took up the song, but this time in accents so tender,
that the child felt something within him melt into
tears of joy, and he was on the verge of recognising,
for the first time since his accident, the voice of
his mother:
“O misty moon,
Shy, misty moon,
Whence comes the blush that trembles
In sweet disgrace
O’er half thy face
When Night her stars assembles?”
But his memory, of course, failed
him just as he seemed about to grasp it, and he was
left wondering why the sound of that one voice had
brought him a moment of radiant happiness in the midst
of so much horror and pain. Meanwhile the answering
voices went on, each time different, and in new directions.
But the next verse somehow brought
back to him all the terror he had felt in his flight
over the sea, when the sound of the hissing waters
had reached his ears through the carpet of fog:
“O misty moon,
Persuasive moon,
Earth’s tides are ever rising;
By the awful grace
Of thy weird white face
Leap the seas to thy enticing!”
Then followed the voice that had started
the horrid song. This time he was sure it was
not Miss Lake’s voice, but only a very clever
imitation of it. Moreover, it again ended in
a shriek of laughter that froze his blood:
“O misty moon,
Deceiving moon,
Thy silvery glance brings sadness;
Who flies to thee,
From land or sea,
Shall end his days in MADNESS!”
Other voices began to laugh and sing,
but Jimbo stopped his ears, for he simply could not
bear any more. He felt certain, too, that these
strange words to the moon had all been part of a trap a
device to draw him to the window. He shuddered
to think how nearly he had fallen into it, and determined
to lie on the bed and wait till he heard his companion
calling, and knew beyond all doubt that it was she.
But the night passed away and the
dawn came, and no voice had called him forth to the
last flight.
Hitherto, in all his experiences,
there had been only one absolute certainty: the
appearance of the governess with the morning light.
But this time sunrise came and the clouds cleared
away, and the sweet smells of field and air stole
into the little room, yet without any sign of the
governess. The hours passed, and she did not come,
till finally he realised that she was not coming at
all, and he would have to spend the whole day alone.
Something had happened to prevent her, or else it was
all part of her mysterious “plan.”
He did not know, and all he could do was to wait,
and wonder, and hope.
All day long he lay and waited, and
all day long he was alone. The trap-door never
once moved; the courtyard remained empty and deserted;
there was no sound on the landing or on the stairs;
no wind stirred the leaves outside, and the hot sun
poured down out of a cloudless sky. He stood
by the open window for hours watching the motionless
branches. Everything seemed dead; not even a
bird crossed his field of vision. The loneliness,
the awful silence, and above all, the dread of the
approaching night, were sometimes more than he seemed
able to bear; and he wanted to put his head out of
the window and scream, or lie down on the bed and
cry his heart out. But he yielded to neither impulse;
he kept a brave heart, knowing that this would be
his last night in prison, and that in a few hours’
time he would hear his name called out of the sky,
and would dash through the window to liberty and the
last wild flight. This thought gave him courage,
and he kept all his energy for the great effort.
Gradually, once more, the sunlight
faded, and the darkness began to creep over the land.
Never before had the shadows under the elms looked
so fantastic, nor the bushes in the field beyond assumed
such sinister shapes. The Empty House was being
gradually invested; the enemy was masquerading already
under cover of these very shadows.
Very soon, he felt, the attack would
begin, and he must be ready to act.
The night came down at last with a
strange suddenness, and with it the warning of the
governess came back to him; he thought quakingly of
the stricken children who had been caught and deprived
of their wings; and then he pulled out his long red
feathers and tried their strength, and gained thus
fresh confidence in their power to save him when the
time came.