Pringle, the last servant up, was
soon heard discreetly drawing bolts and turning out
electric lights. Mathilde went straight up-stairs
without even an attempt at drawing her mother into
an evening gossip. She was aware of being tired
after two nights rendered almost sleepless by her
awareness of joy. She went to her room and shut
the door. Her bed was piled high with extra covers,
soft, light blankets and a down coverlet covered with
pink silk. She took a certain hygienic pride in
the extent to which she always opened her bedroom
windows even when, as at present, the night was bitterly
cold. In the morning she ran, huddling on her
dressing-gown, into a heated bathroom, and when she
emerged from this, the maid had always lighted her
fire, and laid her breakfast-tray close to the blaze.
To-night, when she went to open her window, she noticed
that the houses opposite had lost courage and showed
only cracks. She stood a second looking up at
the stars, twinkling with tiny blue rays through the
clear air. By turning her head to the west she
could look down on the park, with its surface of bare,
blurred tree-branches pierced by rows of lights.
The familiar sight suddenly seemed to her almost intolerably
beautiful. “Oh, I love him so much!”
she said to herself, and her lips actually whispered
the words, “so much! so much!”
She threw the window high as a reproof
of those shivers across the way, and, jumping into
bed, hastily sandwiched her small body between the
warm bedclothes. She was almost instantly asleep.
Overhead the faint, but heavy, footfall
of Pringle ceased. The house was silent; the
city had become so. An occasional Madison Avenue
car could be heard ringing along the cold rails, or
rhythmically bounding down hill on a flat wheel.
Once some distance away came the long, continuous complaint
of the siren of a fire-engine and the bells and gongs
of its comrades; and then a young man went past, whistling
with the purest accuracy of time and tune the air
to which he had just been dancing.
At half-past five the kitchen-maid,
a young Swede who feared not God, neither regarded
man, but lived in absolute subjection to the cook,
to whom, unknown to any one else, she every morning
carried up breakfast, was stealing down with a candle
in her hand. Her senses were alert, for a friend
of hers had been strangled by burglars in similar circumstances,
and she had never overcome her own terror of the cold,
dark house in these early hours of a winter morning.
She went down not the back stairs,
for Mr. Pringle objected that she woke him as she
passed, whereas the carpet on the front stairs was
so thick that there wasn’t the least chance
of waking the family. As she passed Mrs. Farron’s
room she was surprised to see a fine crack of light
coming from under it. She paused, wondering if
she was going to be caught, and if she had better
run back and take to the back stairs despite Pringle’s
well-earned rest; and as she hesitated she heard a
sob, then another-wild, hysterical sobs.
The girl looked startled and then went on, shaking
her head. What people like that had to cry about
beat her. But she was glad, because she knew
such a splendid bit of news would soften the heart
of the cook when she took up her breakfast.
By five o’clock it seemed to
Adelaide that a whole eternity had passed and that
another was ahead of her, that this night would never
end.
When they went up-stairs, while she
was brushing her hair-her hair rewarded
brushing, for it was fine and long and took a polish
like bronze-she had wandered into Vincent’s
room to discuss with him the question of her father’s
secretiveness about Mrs. Wayne. It was not, she
explained, standing in front of his fire, that she
suspected anything, but that it was so unfriendly:
it deprived one of so much legitimate amusement if
one’s own family practised that kind of reserve.
Her just anger kept her from observing Farron very
closely. As she talked she laid her brush on
the mantelpiece, and as she did so she knocked down
the letter that had come for him just before they
went up-stairs. She stooped, and picked it up
without attention, and stood holding it; she gesticulated
a little with it as she repeated, for her own amusement
rather than for Vincent’s, phrases she had caught
at dinner.
The horror to Farron of seeing her
standing there chattering, with that death-dealing
letter in her hand, suddenly and illogically broke
down his resolution of silence. It was cruel,
and though he might have denied himself her help,
he could not endure cruelty.
“Adelaide,” he said in
a tone that drove every other sensation away-“Adelaide,
that letter. No, don’t read it.”
He took it from her and laid it on his dressing-table.
“My dear love, it has very bad news in it.”
“There has been something, then?”
“Yes. I have been worried
about my health for some time. This letter tells
me the worst is true. Well, my dear, we did not
enter matrimony with the idea that either of us was
immortal.”
But that was his last effort to be
superior to the crisis, to pretend that the bitterness
of death was any less to him than to any other human
creature, to conceal that he needed help, all the help
that he could get.
And Adelaide gave him help. Artificial
as she often was in daily contact, in a moment like
this she was splendidly, almost primitively real.
She did not conceal her own passionate despair, her
conviction that her life couldn’t go on without
his; she did not curb her desire to know every detail
on which his opinion and his doctor’s had been
founded; she clung to him and wept, refusing to let
him discuss business arrangements, in which for some
reason he seemed to find a certain respite; and yet
with it all, she gave him strength, the sense that
he had an indissoluble and loyal companion in the
losing fight that lay before him.
Once she was aware of thinking:
“Oh, why did he tell me to-night? Things
are so terrible by night,” but it was only a
second before she put such a thought away from her.
What had these nights been to him? The night when
she had found his light burning so late, and other
nights when he had probably denied himself the consolation
of reading for fear of rousing her suspicions.
She did not attempt to pity or advise him, she did
not treat him as a mixture of child and idiot, as
affection so often treats illness. She simply
gave him her love.
Toward morning he fell asleep in her
arms, and then she stole back to her own room.
There everything was unchanged, the light still burning,
her satin slippers stepping on each other just as she
had left them. She looked at herself in the glass;
she did not look so very different. A headache
had often ravaged her appearance more.
She had always thought herself a coward,
she feared death with a terrible repugnance; but now
she found, to her surprise, that she would have light-heartedly
changed places with her husband. She had much
more courage to die than to watch him die-to
watch Vincent die, to see him day by day grow weak
and pitiful. That was what was intolerable.
If he would only die now, to-night, or if she could!
It was at this moment that the kitchen maid had heard
her sobbing.
Because there was nothing else to
do, she got into bed, and lay there staring at the
electric light, which she had forgotten to put out.
Toward seven she got up and gave orders that Mr. Farron
was not to be disturbed, that the house was to be
kept quiet. Strange, she thought, that he could
sleep like an exhausted child, while she, awake, was
a mass of pain. Her heart ached, her eyes burned,
her very body felt sore. She arranged for his
sleep, but she wanted him to wake up; she begrudged
every moment of his absence. Alas! she thought,
how long would she continue to do so?
Yet with her suffering came a wonderful
ease, an ability to deal with the details of life.
When at eight o’clock her maid came in and, pulling
the curtains, exclaimed with Gallic candor, “Oh,
comme madame a mauvaise mine ce
matin!” she smiled at her with unusual gentleness.
Later, when Mathilde came down at her accustomed hour,
and lying across the foot of her mother’s bed,
began to read her scraps of the morning paper, Adelaide
felt a rush of tenderness for the child, who was so
unaware of the hideous bargain life really was.
Surprising as it was, she found she could talk more
easily than usual and with a more undivided attention,
though everything they said was trivial enough.
Then suddenly her heart stood still,
for the door opened, and Vincent, in his dressing-gown,
came in. He had evidently had his bath, for his
hair was wet and shiny. Thank God! he showed
no signs of defeat!
“Oh,” cried Mathilde,
jumping up, “I thought Mr. Farron had gone down-town
ages ago.”
“He overslept,” said Adelaide.
“I had an excellent night,”
he answered, and she knew he looked at her to discover
that she had not.
“I’ll go,” said
Mathilde; but with unusual sharpness they both turned
to her and said simultaneously, “No, no; stay.”
They knew no better than she did why they were so
eager to keep her.
“Are you going down-town, Vin?”
Adelaide asked, and her voice shook a little on the
question; she was so eager that he should not institute
any change in his routine so soon.
“Of course,” he answered.
They looked at each other, yet their
look said nothing in particular. Presently he
said:
“I wonder if I might have breakfast
in here. I’ll go and shave if you’ll
order it; and don’t let Mathilde go. I have
something to say to her.”
When he was gone, Mathilde went and
stood at the window, looking out, and tying knots
in the window-shade’s cord. It was a trick
Adelaide had always objected to, and she was quite
surprised to hear herself saying now, just as usual:
“Mathilde, don’t tie knots in that cord.”
Mathilde threw it from her as one
whose mind was engaged on higher things.
“You know,” she observed,
“I believe I’m only just beginning to
appreciate Mr. Farron. He’s so wise.
I see what you meant about his being strong, and he’s
so clever. He knows just what you’re thinking
all the time. Isn’t it nice that he likes
Pete? Did he say anything more about him after
you went up-stairs? I mean, he really does like
him, doesn’t he? He doesn’t say that
just to please me?”
Presently Vincent came back fully
dressed and sat down to his breakfast. Oddly
enough, there was a spirit of real gaiety in the air.
“What was it you were going
to say to me?” Mathilde asked greedily.
Farron looked at her blankly. Adelaide knew that
he had quite forgotten the phrase, but he concealed
the fact by not allowing the least illumination of
his expression as he remembered.
“Oh, yes,” he said.
“I wish to correct myself. I told you that
Mrs. Wayne was an elderly wood-nymph; but I was wrong.
Of course the truth is that she’s a very young
witch.”
Mathilde laughed, but not whole-heartedly.
She had already identified herself so much with the
Waynes that she could not take them quite in this
tone of impersonality.
Farron threw down his napkin, stood
up, pulled down his waistcoat.
“I must be off,” he said.
He went and kissed his wife. Both had to nerve
themselves for that.
She held his arm in both her hands,
feeling it solid, real, and as hard as iron.
“You’ll be up-town early?”
“I’ve a busy day.”
“By four?”
“I’ll telephone.”
She loved him for refusing to yield to her just at
this moment of all moments. Some men, she thought,
would have hidden their own self-pity under the excuse
of the necessity of being kind to her.
She was to lunch out with a few critical
contemporaries. She was horrified when she looked
at herself by morning light. Her skin had an
ivory hue, and there were many fine wrinkles about
her eyes. She began to repair these damages with
the utmost frankness, talking meantime to Mathilde
and the maid. She swept her whole face with a
white lotion, rouged lightly, but to her very eyelids,
touched a red pencil to her lips, all with discretion.
The result was satisfactory. The improvement
in her appearance made her feel braver. She couldn’t
have faced these people-she did not know
whether to think of them as intimate enemies or hostile
friends-if she had been looking anything
but her best.
But they were just what she needed;
they would be hard and amusing and keep her at some
tension. She thought rather crossly that she could
not sit through a meal at home and listen to Mathilde
rambling on about love and Mr. Farron.
She was inexcusably late, and they
had sat down to luncheon-three men and
two women-by the time she arrived.
They had all been, or had wanted to go, to an auction
sale of objets d’art that had taken place
the night before. They were discussing it, praising
their own purchases, and decrying the value of everybody
else’s when Adelaide came in.
“Oh, Adelaide,” said her
hostess, “we were just wondering what you paid
originally for your tapestry.”
“The one in the hall?”
“No, the one with the Turk in it.”
“I haven’t an idea,-”
Adelaide was distinctly languid,-“I
got it from my grandfather.”
“Wouldn’t you know she’d
say that?” exclaimed one of the women. “Not
that I deny it’s true; only, you know, Adelaide,
whenever you do want to throw a veil over one of your
pieces, you always call on the prestige of your ancestors.”
Adelaide raised her eyebrows.
“Really,” she answered,
“there isn’t anything so very conspicuous
about having had a grandfather.”
“No,” her hostess echoed,
“even I, so well and favorably known for my
vulgarity-even I had a grandfather.”
“But he wasn’t a connoisseur
in tapestries, Minnie darling.”
“No, but he was in pigs, the dear vulgarian.”
“True vulgarity,” said
one of the men, “vulgarity in the best sense,
I mean, should betray no consciousness of its own
existence. Only thus can it be really great.”
“Oh, Minnie’s vulgarity
is just artificial, assumed because she found it worked
so well.”
“Surely you accord her some
natural talent along those lines.”
“I suspect her secret mind is refined.”
“Oh, that’s not fair. Vulgar is as
vulgar does.”
Adelaide stood up, pushing back her
chair. She found them utterly intolerable.
Besides, as they talked she had suddenly seen clearly
that she must herself speak to Vincent’s doctor
without an instant’s delay. “I have
to telephone, Minnie,” she said, and swept out
of the room. She never returned.
“Not one of the perfect lady’s
golden days, I should say,” said one of the
men, raising his eyebrows. “I wonder what’s
gone wrong?”
“Can Vincent have been straying
from the straight and narrow?”
“Something wrong. I could tell by her looks.”
“Ah, my dear, I’m afraid her looks is
what’s wrong.”
Adelaide meantime was in her motor
on her way to the doctor’s office. He had
given up his sacred lunch-hour in response to her imperious
demand and to his own intense pity for her sorrow.
He did not know her, but he had had
her pointed out to him, and though he recognized the
unreason of such an attitude, he was aware that her
great beauty dramatized her suffering, so that his
pity for her was uncommonly alive.
He was a young man, with a finely
cut face and a blond complexion. His pity was
visible, quivering a little under his mask of impassivity.
Adelaide’s first thought on seeing him was, “Good
Heavens! another man to be emotionally calmed before
I can get at the truth!” She had to be tactful,
to let him see that she was not going to make a scene.
She knew that he felt it himself, but she was not
grateful to him. What business had he to feel
it? His feeling was an added burden, and she felt
that she had enough to carry.
He did not make the mistake, however,
of expressing his sympathy verbally. His answers
were as cold and clear as she could wish. She
questioned him on the chances of an operation.
He could not reduce his judgment to a mathematical
one; he was inclined to advocate an operation on psychological
grounds, he said.
“It keeps up the patient’s
courage to know something is being done.”
He added, “That will be your work, Mrs. Farron,
to keep his courage up.”
Most women like to know they had their
part to play, but Adelaide shook her head quickly.
“I would so much rather go through it myself!”
she cried.
“Naturally, naturally,”
he agreed, without getting the full passion of her
cry.
She stood up.
“Oh,” she said, “if it could only
be kill or cure!”
He glanced at her.
“We have hardly reached that point yet,”
he answered.
She went away dissatisfied. He
had answered every question, he had even encouraged
her to hope a little more than her interpretation of
what Vincent said had allowed her; but as she drove
away she knew he had failed her. For she had
gone to him in order to have Vincent presented to
her as a hero, as a man who had looked upon the face
of death without a quiver. Instead, he had been
presented to her as a patient, just one of the long
procession that passed through that office. The
doctor had said nothing to contradict the heroic picture,
but he had said nothing to contribute to it.
And surely, if Farron had stood out in his calmness
and courage above all other men, the doctor would
have mentioned it, couldn’t have helped doing
so; he certainly would not have spent so much time
in telling her how she was to guard and encourage
him. To the doctor he was only a patient, a pitiful
human being, a victim of mortality. Was that
what he was going to become in her eyes, too?
At four she drove down-town to his
office. He came out with another man; they stood
a moment on the steps talking and smiling. Then
he drew his friend to the car window and introduced
him to Adelaide. The man took off his hat.
“I was just telling your husband,
Mrs. Farron, that I’ve been looking at offices
in this building. By the spring he and I will
be neighbors.”
Adelaide just shut her eyes, and did
not open them again until Vincent had got in beside
her and she felt his arm about her shoulder.
“My poor darling!” he
said. “What you need is to go home and get
some sleep.” It was said in his old, cherishing
tone, and she, leaning back, with her head against
the point of his shoulder, felt that, black as it
was, life for the first time since the night before
had assumed its normal aspect again.