After an infancy of more than common
docility and a young childhood of few explicit revolts,
the boy of twelve years old enters upon a phase which
the bystander may not well understand but may make
shift to note as an impression.
Like other subtle things, his position
is hardly to be described but by negatives.
Above all, he is not demonstrative. The days
are long gone by when he said he wanted a bicycle,
a top hat, and a pipe. One or two of these things
he has, and he takes them without the least swagger.
He avoids expression of any kind. Any satisfaction
he may feel with things as they are is rather to be
surprised in his manner than perceived in his action.
Mr. Jaggers, when it befell him to be astonished,
showed it by a stop of manner, for an indivisible
moment — not by a pause in the thing he chanced
to be about. In like manner the boy cannot prevent
his most innocent pleasures from arresting him.
He will not endure (albeit he does
not confess so much) to be told to do anything, at
least in that citadel of his freedom, his home.
His elders probably give him as few orders as possible.
He will almost ingeniously evade any that are inevitably
or thoughtlessly inflicted upon him, but if he does
but succeed in only postponing his obedience, he has,
visibly, done something for his own relief.
It is less convenient that he should hold mere questions,
addressed to him in all good faith, as in some sort
an attempt upon his liberty.
Questions about himself one might
understand to be an outrage. But it is against
impersonal and indifferent questions also that the
boy sets his face like a rock. He has no ambition
to give information on any point. Older people
may not dislike the opportunity, and there are even
those who bring to pass questions of a trivial kind
for the pleasure of answering them with animation.
This, the boy perhaps thinks, is “fuss,”
and, if he has any passions, he has a passionate dislike
of fuss.
When a younger child tears the boy’s
scrapbook (which is conjectured, though not known,
to be the dearest thing he has) he betrays no emotion;
that was to be expected. But when the stolen
pages are rescued and put by for him, he abstains
from taking an interest in the retrieval; he will
do nothing to restore them. To do so would mar
the integrity of his reserve. If he would do
much rather than answer questions, he would suffer
something rather than ask them.
He loves his father and a friend of
his father’s, and he pushes them, in order to
show it without compromising his temperament.
He is a partisan in silence.
It may be guessed that he is often occupied in comparing
other people with his admired men. Of this too
he says little, except some brief word of allusion
to what other men do not do.
When he speaks it is with a carefully
shortened vocabulary. As an author shuns monotony,
so does the boy shun change. He does not generally
talk slang; his habitual words are the most usual
of daily words made useful and appropriate by certain
varieties of voice. These express for him all
that he will consent to communicate. He reserves
more by speaking dull words with zeal than by using
zealous words that might betray him. But his
brevity is the chief thing; he has almost made an art
of it.
He is not “merry.”
Merry boys have pretty manners, and it must be owned
that this boy’s manners are not pretty.
But if not merry, he is happy; there never was a
more untroubled soul. If he has an almost grotesque
reticence, he has no secrets. Nothing that he
thinks is very much hidden. Even if he did not
push his father, it would be evident that the boy
loves him; even if he never laid his hand (and this
little thing he does rarely) on his friend’s
shoulder, it would be plain that he loves his friend.
His happiness appears in his moody and charming face,
his ambition in his dumbness, and the hopes of his
life to come in ungainly bearing. How does so
much heart, how does so much sweetness, all unexpressed,
appear? For it is not only those who know him
well that know the child’s heart; strangers
are aware of it. This, which he would not reveal,
is the only thing that is quite unmistakable and quite
conspicuous.
What he thinks that he turns visibly
to the world is a sense of humour, with a measure
of criticism and of indifference. What he thinks
the world may divine in him is courage and an intelligence.
But carry himself how he will, he is manifestly a
tender, gentle, and even spiritual creature, masculine
and innocent — “a nice boy.”
There is no other way of describing him than that
of his own brief language.