“But I can not see all that you see.”
“Then you do not love me.”
“Back again to Swedenborg I
told you more than once that he is not my apostle.”
“Nor is he mine. But he
has expressed a great truth, Jamilah. Now, can
you love me in the light of that truth?”
“You are always asking me that
same question, Khalid. You do not understand
me. I do not believe in marriage. I tried
it once; I will not try it again. I am married
to Buhaism. And you Khalid remember
my words you will yet be an apostle the
apostle of Buhaism. And you will find
me with you, whether you be in Arabia, in America,
or in Egypt. I feel this I know it I
am positive about it. Your star and mine are
one. We are born under the same star. We
are now in the same orbit, approaching the same nadir.
We are ruled by our stars. I believe this, and
you don’t. At least, you say you don’t.
But you do. You don’t know your own mind.
The trend of the current of your life is beyond your
grasp, beyond your comprehension. I know.
And you must listen to me. You must follow my
advice. If you can not come with me now to the
States, you will await me here. I am called on
a pressing business. And within three months,
at the most, I shall return and find you waiting for
me right here, in this desert.”
“I can not understand you.”
“You will yet.”
“But why not try to understand
me? Can you not find in my ideas the very essence
of Buhaism? Can you not come up to my height and
behold there the star that you have taken for your
guide? My Truth, Jamilah, can you not see that?
Love and Faith, free from all sectarianism and all
earthly authority, what is Buhaism or Mohammedanism
or Christianity beside them? Moreover, I have
a mission. And to love me you must believe in
me , not in the Buha. You laugh at my dream.
But one day it will be realised. A great Arab
Empire in the border-land of the Orient and Occident,
in this very heart of the world, this Arabia, this
Egypt, this Field of the Cloth of Gold, so to speak,
where the Male and Female of the Spirit shall give
birth to a unifying faith, a unifying art, a unifying
truth ”
“Vagaries, chimeras,”
interrupted Mrs. Gotfry. “Buhaism is established,
and it needs a great apostle. It needs you; it
will have you. I will have you. Your destiny
is interwoven with mine. You can not flee it,
do what you may. We are ruled by our stars, Khalid.
And if you do not realise this now, you will realise
it to-morrow. Here, give me your hand.”
“I can not.”
“Very well, then. Good-bye au
revoir . In three months you will change your
mind. In three months I will return to the East
and find you waiting for me, even here in this desert.
Think on it, and take care of yourself. Au revoir. ”
In this strange, mysterious manner,
after pacing for hours on the sand in the sheen of
the full moon, Mrs. Gotfry says farewell to Khalid.
He sits on a rock near his tent and
ponders for hours. He seeks in the stars, as
it were, a clue to the love of this woman, which he
first thought to be unfathomable. There it is,
the stars seem to say. And he looks into the
sand-grave near him, where little Najib practises how
to die. Yes; a fitting symbol of the life and
love called modern, boasting of freedom. They
dance their dervish dance, these people, even like
Khalid’s little Najib, and fall into their sand-graves,
and fold their arms and smile: “We are
in love or we are out of it.”
Which is the same. No: he’ll have none
of this. A heart as simple as this desert sand,
as deep in affection as this heaven, untainted by
the uncertainties and doubts and caprices of modern
life, only in such a heart is the love
that endures, the love divine and eternal.
He goes into Najma’s tent.
The mother and her child are sound asleep. He
stands between the bed and the cot contemplating the
simplicity and innocence and truth, which are more
eloquent in Najib’s brow than aught of human
speech. His little hand raised above his head
seems to point to a star which could be seen through
an opening in the canvas. Was it his star the
star that he saw in the sand-grave the star
that is calling to him?
But let us resume our narration.
A fortnight after Mrs. Gotfry’s
departure Shakib leaves the camp to live in Cairo.
He is now become poet-laureate to one of the big pashas.
Khalid is left alone with Najma and Najib.
And one day, when they are playing
a game of “donkey,” Khalid carried
Najib on his back, ran on all four around the tent,
and Najma was the donkey-driver, the child
of a sudden utters a shriek and falls on the sand.
He is in convulsions; and after the relaxation, lo,
his right hand is palsied, his mouth awry, and his
eyes a-squint. Khalid finds a young doctor at
Al-Hayat, and his diagnosis of the case does not disturb
the mind. It is infantile paralysis, a disease
common with delicate children. And the doctor,
who is of a kind and demonstrative humour, discourses
at length on the disease, speaks of many worse cases
of its kind he cured, and assures the mother that within
a month the child will recover. For the present
he can but prescribe a purgative and a massage of
the arm and spine. On the third visit, he examines
the child’s faeces and is happy to have discovered
the seat and cause of the affection. The liver
is not performing its function; and given such weak
nerves as the child’s, a torpid liver in certain
cases will produce paralysis.
But Khalid is not satisfied with this.
He places the doctor’s prescription in his pocket,
and goes down to Cairo for a specialist. He comes,
this one, to disturb their peace of mind with his
indecision. It is not infantile paralysis, and
he can not yet say what it is. Khalid meanwhile
is poring over medical books on all the diseases that
children are heir to.
On the fifth day the child falls again
in convulsions, and the left arm, too, is paralysed.
They take him down to Cairo; and Medicine, considering
the disease of his mother, guesses a third time tuberculosis
of the spine, it says and guesses wrong.
Again, considering the strabismus, the obliquity of
the mouth, the palsy in the arms, and the convulsions,
we guess closely, but ominously. Nay, Medicine
is positive this time; for a fifth and a sixth Guesser
confirm the others. Here we have a case of cerebral
meningitis. That is certain; that is fatal.
Najib is placed under treatment.
They cut his hair, his beautiful flow of dark hair;
rub his scalp with chloroform; keep the hot bottles
around his feet, the ice bag on his head; and give
him a spoon of physic every hour. “Make
no noise around the room, and admit no light into
it,” further advises the doctor. Thus for
two weeks the child languishes in his mother’s
arms; and resting from the convulsions and the coma,
he would fix on Khalid the hollow, icy glance of death.
No; the light and intelligence might never revisit
those vacant eyes.
Now Shakib comes to suggest a consultation.
The great English physician of Cairo, why not call
him ? It might not be meningitis, after
all, and the child might be helped, might be cured.
The great guesswork Celebrity is called.
He examines the patient and confirms the opinion of
his confreres, rather his disciples.
“But the whole tissue,”
he continues with glib assurance, “is not affected.
The area is local, and to the side of the ear that
is sore. The strabismus being to the right, the
affection must be to the left. And the pus accumulating
behind the ear, under the bone, and pressing on the
covering of the brain, produces the inflammation.
Yes, pus is the cause of this.” And he
repeats the Arabic proverb in broken Arabic, “A
drop of pus will disable a camel.” Further,
“Yes, the child’s life can be saved by
trepanning. It should have been done already,
but the time’s not passed. Let the surgeon
come and make a little opening no; a child
can stand chloroform better than an adult. And
when the pus is out he will be well.”
In a private consultation the disciples
beg to observe that there was no evidence of pus behind
the ear. “It is beneath the skullbone,”
the Master asserts. And so we decide upon the
operation. The Eye and Ear specialist is called,
and after weighing the probabilities of the case and
considering that the great Celebrity had said there
was pus, although there be no evidence of it, he convinces
Khalid that if the child is not benefited by the operation
he cannot suffer from it more than he is suffering
now.
The surgeon comes with his assistants.
Little Najib is laid on the table; the chloroform
towel is applied; the scalpels , the cotton, the
basins of hot water, and other accessories, are handed
over by one doctor to another. The Cutter begins.
Shakib is there watching with the rest; Najma is in
an adjacent room weeping; and Khalid is pacing up
and down the hall, his brows moistened with the cold
sweat of anguish and suspense.
No pus between the scalp and the bone:
the little hammer and chisel are handed to the Cutter.
One, two, three, the child utters a faint
cry; the chloroform towel is applied again; four,
five, six, and the seventh stroke of the little hammer
opens the skull. The Cutter then penetrates with
his catheter, searches thoroughly through the brain here there above below and
finally holds the instrument up to his assistants
to show them that there is no pus!
“If there be any,” says he, “it
is beyond the reach of surgery.” The wound,
therefore, is quickly washed, sewn up, and dressed,
while everybody is wondering how the great Celebrity
can be wrong....
Little Najib remains under the influence
of anaesthetics for two days for two days
he is in a trance. And on the third, the fever
mounts to the danger line and descends again only
after he had stretched his little arm and breathed
his last!
And Khalid and Najma and Shakib take
him out to the desert and bury him in the sand, near
the tent round which he used to play. There,
where he stepped his first step, lisped his first syllable,
smacked his first kiss, and saw for the first time
a star in the heaven, he is laid; he is given to the
Night, to the Eternity which Khalid does not fear.
And yet, what tears, Shakib tells us, he shed over
that little grave.
But about the time the second calamity
approaches, when Najma begins to decline and waste
away from grief, when the relapse sets in and carries
her in a fortnight downward to the grave of her child,
Khalid’s eyes are as two pieces of flint stone
on a sheet of glass. His tears flow inwardly,
as it were, through his cracked heart....
Like the poet Saadi, Khalid once sought
to fill his lap with celestial flowers for his friends
and brothers; and he gathered some; but, alas, the
fragrance of them so intoxicated him that the skirt
dropt from his hand....
We are again at the Mena House, where
we first met Shakib. And the reader will remember
that the tears rushed to his eyes when we inquired
of him about his Master and Friend. “He
has disappeared some ten days ago,” he then
said, “and I know not whither.” Therefore,
ask us not, O gentle Reader, what became of him.
How can we know? He might have entered
a higher spiritual circle or a lower; of a truth,
he is not now on the outskirts of the desert:
deeper to this side or to that he must have passed.
And passing he continues to dream of “appearance
in the disappearance; of truth in the surrender; of
sunrises in the sunset.”
Now, fare thee well in either
case, Reader. And whether well or ill spent the
time we have journeyed together, let us not quarrel
about it. For our part, we repeat the farewell
words of Sheikh Taleb of Damascus: “Judge
us not severely.” And if we did not study
to entertain thee as other Scribes do, it is because
we consider thee, dear good Reader, above such entertainment
as our poor resources can furnish, Wassalmu aleik !