IN the days of King Louis XI there
lived at Paris, in a matted chamber, a citizen dame
called Violante, who was comely and well-liking in
all her person. She had so bright a face that
Master Jacques Tribouillard, doctor in law and a renowned
cosmographer, who was often a visitor at her house,
was used to tell her:
“Seeing you, madame, I
deem credible and even hold it proven, what Cucurbitus
Piger lays down in one of his scholia on Strabo,
to wit, that the famous city and university of Paris
was of old known by the name of Lutetia or Leucecia,
or some such like word coming from Leuke, that
is to say, ‘the white,’ forasmuch as the
ladies of the same had bosoms white as snow, yet
not so clear and bright and white as is your own,
madame.”
To which Violante would say in answer:
“’T is enough for me if
my bosom is not fit to fright folks, like some I wot
of. And, if I show it, why,’tis to follow
the fashion. I have not the hardihood to do otherwise
than the rest of the world.”
Now Madame Violante had been wedded,
in the flower of her youth, to an Advocate of the
Parlement, a man of a harsh temper and sorely
set on the arraignment and punishing of unfortunate
prisoners. For the rest, he was of sickly habit
and a weakling, of such a sort he seemed more fit to
give pain to folks outside his doors than pleasure
to his wife within. The old fellow thought more
of his blue bags than of his better half, though these
were far otherwise shapen, being bulgy and fat and
formless. But the lawyer spent his nights over
them.
Madame Violante was too reasonable
a woman to love a husband that was so unlovable.
Master Jacques Tribouillard upheld she was a good wife,
as steadfastly and surely confirmed and stablished
in conjugal virtue as Lucretia the Roman. And
for proof he alleged that he had altogether failed
to turn her aside from the path of honour. The
judicious observed a prudent silence on the point,
holding that what is hid will only be made manifest
at the last Judgment Day. They noted how the lady
was over fond of gewgaws and laces and wore in company
and at church gowns of velvet and silk and cloth of
gold, purfled with miniver; but they were too fair-minded
folk to decide whether, damning as she did Christian
men who saw her so comely and so finely dressed to
the torments of vain longing, she was not damning
her own soul too with one of them. In a word,
they were well ready to stake Madame Violante’s
virtue on the toss of a coin, cross or pile, which
is greatly to the honour of that fair lady.
The truth is her Confessor, Brother
Jean Turelure, was for ever upbraiding her.
“Think you, madame,”
he would ask her, “that the blessed St. Catherine
won heaven by leading such a life as yours, baring
her bosom and sending to Genoa for lace ruffles?”
But he was a great preacher, very
severe on human weaknesses, who could condone naught
and thought he had done everything when he had inspired
terror. He threatened her with hell fire for having
washed her face with ass’s milk.
As a fact, no one could say if she
had given her old husband a meet and proper head-dress,
and Messire Philippe de Coetquis used to warn the
honest dame in a merry vein:
“See to it, I say! He is
bald, he will catch his death of cold!”
Messire Philippe de Coetquis was a
knight of gallant bearing, as handsome as the knave
of hearts in the noble game of cards. He had first
encountered Madame Violante one evening at a ball,
and after dancing with her far into the night, had
carried her home on his crupper, while the Advocate
splashed his way through the mud and mire of the kennels
by the dancing light of the torches his four tipsy
lackeys bore. In the course of these merry doings,
a-foot and on horseback, Messire Philippe de Coetquis
had formed a shrewd notion that Madame Violante had
a limber waist and a full, firm bosom of her own,
and there and then had been smit by her charms.
He was a frank and guileless wight
and made bold to tell her outright what he would have
of her, to wit, to hold her naked in his
two arms.
To which she would make answer:
“Messire Philippe, you know not what you say.
I am a virtuous wife,”
Or another time:
“Messire Philippe, come back again tomorrow, ”
And when he came next day she would ask innocently:
“Nay, where is the hurry?”
These never-ending postponements caused
the Chevalier no little distress and chagrin.
He was ready to believe, with Master Tribouillard,
that Madame Violante was indeed a Lucretia, so true
is it that all men are alike in fatuous self-conceit!
And we are bound to say she had not so much as suffered
him to kiss her mouth, only a pretty diversion
after all and a bit of wanton playfulness.
Things were in this case when Brother
Jean Turelure was called to Venice by the General
of his Order, to preach to sundry Turks lately converted
to the true Faith.
Before setting forth, the good Brother
went to take leave of his fair Penitent, and upbraided
her with more than usual sternness for living a dissolute
life. He exhorted her urgently to repent and pressed
her to wear a hair-shirt next her skin, an
incomparable remedy against naughty cravings and a
sovran medicine for natures over prone to the sins
of the flesh.
She besought him: “Good
Brother, never ask too much of me.”
But he would not hearken, and threatened
her with the pains of hell if she did not amend her
ways. Then he told her he would gladly execute
any commissions she might be pleased to entrust him
with. He was in hopes she would beg him to bring
her back some consecrated medal, a rosary, or, better
still, a little of the soil of the Holy Sepulchre which
the Turks carry from Jerusalem together with dried
roses, and which the Italian monks sell.
But Madame Violante preferred a quite other request:
“Good Brother, dear Brother,
as you are going to Venice, where such cunning workmen
in this sort are to be found, I pray you bring me back
a Venetian mirror, the clearest and truest can be
gotten.”
Brother Jean Turelure promised to content her wish.
While her Confessor was abroad, Madame
Violante led the same life as before. And when
Messire Philippe pressed her: “Were it not
well to take our pleasure together?” she would
answer: “Nay! ’t is too hot.
Look at the weathercock if the wind will not change
anon.” And the good folk who watched her
ways were in despair of her ever giving a proper pair
of horns to her crabbed old husband. “’T
is a sin and a shame!” they declared.
On his return from Italy Brother Jean
Turelure presented himself before Madame Violante
and told her he had brought what she desired.
“Look, madame,”
he said, and drew from under his gown a death’s-head.
“Here, madame, is
your mirror. This death’s-head was given
me for that of the prettiest woman in all Venice.
She was what you are, and you will be much like her
anon.”
Madame Violante, mastering her surprise
and horror, answered the good Father in a well-assured
voice that she understood the lesson he would teach
her and she would not fail to profit thereby.
“I shall aye have present in
my mind, good Brother, the mirror you have brought
me from Venice, wherein I see my likeness not as I
am at present, but as doubtless I soon shall be.
I promise you to govern my behaviour by this salutary
thought.”
Brother Jean Turelure was far from
expecting such pious words. He expressed some
satisfaction.
“So, madame,” he
murmured, “you see yourself the need of altering
your ways. You promise me henceforth to govern
your behaviour by the thought this fleshless skull
hath brought home to you. Will you not make the
same promise to God as you have to me?”
She asked if indeed she must, and
he assured her it behoved her so to do.
“Well, I will give this promise then,”
she declared.
“Madame, this is very well. There is no
going back on your word now.”
“I shall not go back on it, never fear.”
Having won this binding promise, Brother
Jean Turelure left the place, radiant with satisfaction.
And as he went from the house, he cried out loud in
the street:
“Here is a good work done!
By Our Lord God’s good help, I have turned and
set in the way toward the gate of Paradise a lady,
who, albeit not sinning precisely in the way of fornication
spoken of by the Prophet, yet was wont to employ for
men’s temptation the clay whereof the Creator
had kneaded her that she might serve and adore him
withal. She will forsake these naughty habits
to adopt a better life. I have throughly changed
her. Praise be to God!”
Hardly had the good Brother gone down
the stairs when Messire Philippe de Coetquis ran up
them and scratched at Madame Violante’s door.
She welcomed him with a beaming smile, and led him
into a closet, furnished with carpets and cushions
galore, wherein he had never been admitted before.
From this he augured well. He offered her sweetmeats
he had in a box.
“Here be sugar-plums to suck,
madame; they are sweet and sugared, but not so
sweet as your lips.”
To which the lady retorted he was
a vain, silly fop to make boast of a fruit he had
never tasted.
He answered her meetly, kissing her
forthwith on the mouth.
She manifested scarce any annoyance
and said only she was an honest woman and a true wife.
He congratulated her and advised her not to lock up
this jewel of hers in such close keeping that no man
could enjoy it. “For, of a surety,”
he swore, “you will be robbed of it, and that
right soon.”
“Try then,” said she,
cuffing him daintily over the ears with her pretty
pink palms.
But he was master by this time to
take whatsoever he wished of her. She kept protesting
with little cries:
“I won’t have it.
Fie! fie on you, messire! You must not do
it. Oh! sweetheart... oh! my love... my life!
You are killing me!”
Anon, when she had done sighing and
dying, she said sweetly:
“Messire Philippe, never flatter
yourself you have mastered me by force or guile.
You have had of me what you craved, but ’t was
of mine own free will, and I only resisted so much
as was needful that I might yield me as I liked best.
Sweetheart, I am yours. If, for all your handsome
face, which I loved from the first, and despite the
tenderness of your wooing, I did not before grant
you what you have just won with my consent, ’t
was because I had no true understanding of things.
I had no thought of the flight of time and the shortness
of life and love; plunged in a soft languor of indolence,
I reaped no harvest of my youth and beauty. However,
the good Brother Jean Turelure hath given me a profitable
lesson. He hath taught me the preciousness of
the hours. But now he showed me a death’s-head,
saying: ‘Suchlike you will be soon.’
This taught me we must be quick to enjoy the pleasures
of love and make the most of the little space of time
reserved to us for that end.”
These words and the caresses wherewith
Madame Violante seconded them persuaded Messire Philippe
to turn the time to good account, to set to work afresh
to his own honour and profit and the pleasure and glory
of his mistress, and to multiply the sure proofs of
prowess which it behoves every good and loyal servant
to give on suchlike an occasion.
After which, she was ready to cry
quits. Taking him by the hand, she guided him
back to the door, kissed him daintily on the eyes,
and asked:
“Sweetheart Philippe, is it
not well done to follow the precepts of the good Brother
Jean Turelure?”