A club dining-room in Australia is
much like one in any other part of the world.
Even at the Antipodes though the seasons
are reversed, and the foxes have wings we
still shun the club bore, and let him have a table
to himself; the head waiter usually looks a more important
personage than any of the members or guests; and men
may be seen giving each other dinners from much the
same ignoble motives as those which actuate their
fellows elsewhere. In the Cassowary Club, on the
night of which we tell, the Bo’sun was giving
his dinner of necessity to honour the draft of hospitality
drawn on him by Grant. At the next table a young
solicitor was entertaining his one wealthy client;
near by a band of haggard University professors were
dining a wandering scientist, all hair and spectacles both
guest and hosts drinking mineral waters and such horrors;
while beyond them a lot of racing men were swilling
champagne and eating and talking as heartily as so
many navvies. A few squatters, down from their
stations, had fore-gathered at the centre table, where
each was trying to make out that he had had less rain
than the others. The Bo’sun and his guests
were taken in hand by the head waiter, who formerly
had been at a London Club, and was laying himself
out to do his best; he had seen that Gillespie had
“Wanderers’ Club” on his cards,
and he knew, and thanked his stars that he did know,
what “Wanderers’ Club” on a man’s
card meant. His fellow-waiters, to whom he usually
referred as “a lot of savages,” were unfortunately
in ignorance of the social distinction implied by
membership of such a club.
For a time there was nothing but the
usual commonplace talk, while the soup and fish were
disposed of; when they reached the champagne and the
entrees, things become more homelike and conversation
flowed. A bushman, especially when primed with
champagne, is always ready to give his tongue a run and
when he has two open-mouthed new chums for audience,
as Gordon had, the only difficulty is to stop him before
bed-time; for long silent rides on the plain, and
lonely camps at night, give him a lot of enforced
silence that he has to make up for later.
“Where are you from last, Gordon?”
said the Bo’sun. “Haven’t seen
you in town for a long time.”
“I’ve been hunting wild
geese,” drawled the man from far back, screwing
up one eye and inspecting a glass of champagne, which
he drank off at a gulp. “That’s what
I do most of my time now. The old man Grant,
you know my boss he’s
always hearing of mobs of cattle for sale, and if
I’m down in the south-west the mob is sure to
be up in the far north-east, but it’s all one
to him. He wires to me to go and inspect them
quick and lively before someone else gets them, and
I ride and drive and coach hundreds of miles to get
at some flat-sided pike-horned mob of brutes without
enough fat on them to oil a man’s hair with.
I’ve to go right away out back now and take
over a place that the old man advanced some money
on. He was fool enough, or someone was fool enough
for him, to advance five thousand pounds on a block
of new country with five thousand cattle on it book-muster,
you know, and half the cattle haven’t been seen
for years, and the other half are dead, I expect.
Anyhow, the man that borrowed the money is ruined,
and I have to go up and take over the station.”
“What do you call a book-muster?”
said the globe-trotter, who was spending a month in
the country, and would naturally write a book on it.
“Book-muster, book-muster?
Why, a book-muster is something like dead-reckoning
on a ship. You know what dead-reckoning is, don’t
you? If a captain can’t see the sun he
allows for how fast the ship is going, and for the
time run and the currents, and all that, and then reckons
up where he is. I travelled with a captain once,
and so long as he stuck to dead-reckoning he was all
right. He made out we were off Cairns, and that’s
just where we were; because we struck the Great Barrier
Reef, and became a total wreck ten minutes after.
With the cattle it’s just the same. You’ll
reckon the cattle that you started with, add on each
year’s calves, subtract all that you sell, that
is, if you ever do sell any and allow for
deaths, and what the blacks spear and the thieves
steal. Then you work out the total, and you say,
’There ought to be five thousand cattle on the
place,’ but you never get ’em. I’ve
got to go and find five thousand cattle in the worst
bit of brigalow scrub in the north.”
“Where do you say this place
is?” said Pinnock. “It’s called
No Man’s Land, and it’s away out back
near where the buffalo-shooters are. It’ll
take about a month to get there. The old man’s
in a rare state of mind at being let in. He’s
up at Kuryong now, driving my brother Hugh out of
his mind. Hugh would as soon have an attack of
faceache as see old Bully looming up the track.
Every time he goes up he shifts every blessed sheep
out of every paddock, and knocks seven years’
growth out of them putting them through the yards;
then he overhauls the store, and if there’s
a box of matches short he’ll keep Hugh up half
the night to account for it. He sacks all the
good men and raises the wages of the loafers, and
then comes back to Sydney quite pleased; it’s
a little holiday to him. You come along with
me, Carew, and let old Bully alone. What did
you come out for? Colonial experience?”
An Englishman hates talking about
himself, and Carew rather hesitated. Then he
came out with it awkwardly, like a man repeating a
lesson.
“Did you ever meet a man named
Considine out here?” he said.
“Lots of them,” said Gordon
promptly “lots of them. Why,
I had a man named Considine working for me, and he
thought he got bitten by a snake, so his mates ran
him twenty miles into Bourke between two horses to
keep him from going to sleep, giving him a nip of whisky
every twenty minutes; and when he got to Bourke he
wasn’t bitten at all, but he died of alcoholic
poisoning. What about this Considine, anyhow?
What do you want him for?”
The Englishman felt like dropping
the subject altogether, not feeling quite sure that
he was not being laughed at. However, he decided
to go through with it.
“It’s rather a long story,
but it boils down to this,” he said. “I’m
looking for a Patrick Henry Considine, but I don’t
know what he’s like. I don’t know
whether there is such a chap, in fact, but if there
is, I’ve got to find him. A great-uncle
of mine died out here a long while ago, and we believe
he left a son; and if there is such a son, it turns
out that he would be entitled to a heap of money.
It has been heaping up for years in Chancery, and
all that sort of thing, you know,” he added,
vaguely. “My people thought I might meet
him out here, don’t you know and
he could go home and get all the cash, you see.
They’ve been advertising for him.”
“And what good will it do you,”
drawled Gordon, “supposing you do find him?
Where do you come in?”
“Oh, it doesn’t do me
much good, except that if there is such a Johnny,
and he dies without making a will, then the money would
all come to my people. But if there isn’t,
it all goes to another branch of the family.”
Gordon thought the matter over for
a while. “What you want,” he said,
“is to find this man, and to find him dead.
If we come across him away in the back country, we’ll
soon arrange his death for you, if you make it worth
while. Nasty gun accident, or something like that,
you know.”
“I wouldn’t like anyone
to shoot him,” said the Englishman.
“Well, you come with me, and
we’ll find him,” said Gordon.
By this time dinner was over.
The waiters began to turn out the lights on the vacant
tables; and, as the party rose it was arranged nem.
con., and with much enthusiasm, that Carew should
accompany Gordon on his trip to No Man’s Land,
and that Gordon should, by all means in his power,
aid and abet Carew in his search for Considine.
Then, all talking together, and somewhat
loudly, they strutted into the smoking-room.