Of the heavy sickness which declared
itself next morning I can think with equanimity, as
of the last unmingled trouble that befell my master;
and even that was perhaps a mercy in disguise; for
what pains of the body could equal the miseries of
his mind? Mrs. Henry and I had the watching by
the bed. My old lord called from time to time
to take the news, but would not usually pass the door.
Once, I remember, when hope was nigh gone, he stepped
to the bedside, looked a while in his son’s
face, and turned away with a singular gesture of the
head and hand thrown up, that remains upon my mind
as something tragic; such grief and such a scorn of
sublunary things were there expressed. But the
most of the time Mrs. Henry and I had the room to
ourselves, taking turns by night, and bearing each
other company by day, for it was dreary watching.
Mr. Henry, his shaven head bound in a napkin, tossed
to and fro without remission, beating the bed with
his hands. His tongue never lay; his voice ran
continuously like a river, so that my heart was weary
with the sound of it. It was notable, and to me
inexpressibly mortifying, that he spoke all the while
on matters of no import: comings and goings,
horses which he was ever calling to have
saddled, thinking perhaps (the poor soul!) that he
might ride away from his discomfort matters
of the garden, the salmon nets, and (what I particularly
raged to hear) continually of his affairs, ciphering
figures and holding disputation with the tenantry.
Never a word of his father or his wife, nor of the
Master, save only for a day or two, when his mind
dwelled entirely in the past, and he supposed himself
a boy again and upon some innocent child’s play
with his brother. What made this the more affecting:
it appeared the Master had then run some peril of
his life, for there was a cry “O!
Jamie will be drowned O, save Jamie!”
which he came over and over with a great deal of passion.
This, I say, was affecting, both to
Mrs. Henry and myself; but the balance of my master’s
wanderings did him little justice. It seemed he
had set out to justify his brother’s calumnies;
as though he was bent to prove himself a man of a
dry nature, immersed in money-getting. Had I
been there alone, I would not have troubled my thumb;
but all the while, as I listened, I was estimating
the effect on the man’s wife, and telling myself
that he fell lower every day. I was the one person
on the surface of the globe that comprehended him,
and I was bound there should be yet another.
Whether he was to die there and his virtues perish:
or whether he should save his days and come back to
that inheritance of sorrows, his right memory:
I was bound he should be heartily lamented in the
one case, and unaffectedly welcomed in the other, by
the person he loved the most, his wife.
Finding no occasion of free speech,
I bethought me at last of a kind of documentary disclosure;
and for some nights, when I was off duty, and should
have been asleep, I gave my time to the preparation
of that which I may call my budget. But this
I found to be the easiest portion of my task, and
that which remained namely, the presentation
to my lady almost more than I had fortitude
to overtake. Several days I went about with my
papers under my arm, spying for some juncture of talk
to serve as introduction. I will not deny but
that some offered; only when they did my tongue clove
to the roof of my mouth; and I think I might have
been carrying about my packet till this day, had not
a fortunate accident delivered me from all my hesitations.
This was at night, when I was once more leaving the
room, the thing not yet done, and myself in despair
at my own cowardice.
“What do you carry about with
you, Mr. Mackellar?” she asked. “These
last days, I see you always coming in and out with
the same armful.”
I returned upon my steps without a
word, laid the papers before her on the table, and
left her to her reading. Of what that was, I am
now to give you some idea; and the best will be to
reproduce a letter of my own which came first in the
budget, and of which (according to an excellent habitude)
I have preserved the scroll. It will show, too,
the moderation of my part in these affairs, a thing
which some have called recklessly in question.
Durrisdeer, 1757.
HONOURED MADAM,
I trust I would not step out of my place
without occasion; but I see how much evil has flowed
in the past to all of your noble house from that
unhappy and secretive fault of reticency, and the papers
on which I venture to call your attention are family
papers, and all highly worthy your acquaintance.
I append a schedule with some necessary
observations,
And am,
Honoured
Madam,
Your ladyship’s
obliged, obedient servant,
EPHRAIM
MACKELLAR.
Schedule of Papers.
A. Scroll of ten letters from Ephraim
Mackellar to the Hon. James Durie, Esq., by courtesy
Master of Ballantrae, during the latter’s residence
in Paris: under dates ... (follow the dates)
... Nota: to be read in connection
with B and C.
B. Seven original letters from the
said M^r of Ballantrae to the
said E. Mackellar, under dates ...
(follow the dates).
C. Three original letters from the said
M^r of Ballantrae to the Hon. Henry Durie, Esq.,
under dates ... (follow the dates).... Nota:
given me by Mr. Henry to answer: copies of my
answers A 4, A 5, and A 9 of these productions.
The purport of Mr. Henry’s communications,
of which I can find no scroll, may be gathered from
those of his unnatural brother.
D. A correspondence, original and scroll,
extending over a period of three years till January
of the current year, between the said M^r of Ballantrae
and , Under
Secretary of State; twenty-seven in all. Nota:
found among the Master’s papers.
Weary as I was with watching and distress
of mind, it was impossible for me to sleep. All
night long I walked in my chamber, revolving what
should be the issue, and sometimes repenting the temerity
of my immixture in affairs so private; and with the
first peep of the morning I was at the sick-room door.
Mrs. Henry had thrown open the shutters, and even
the window, for the temperature was mild. She
looked steadfastly before her; where was nothing to
see, or only the blue of the morning creeping among
woods. Upon the stir of my entrance she did not
so much as turn about her face: a circumstance
from which I augured very ill.
“Madam,” I began; and
then again, “Madam”; but could make no
more of it. Nor yet did Mrs. Henry come to my
assistance with a word. In this pass I began
gathering up the papers where they lay scattered on
the table; and the first thing that struck me, their
bulk appeared to have diminished. Once I ran
them through, and twice; but the correspondence with
the Secretary of State, on which I had reckoned so
much against the future, was nowhere to be found.
I looked in the chimney; amid the smouldering embers,
black ashes of paper fluttered in the draught; and
at that my timidity vanished.
“Good God, madam,” cried
I, in a voice not fitting for a sick-room, “Good
God, madam, what have you done with my papers?”
“I have burned them,”
said Mrs. Henry, turning about. “It is enough,
it is too much, that you and I have seen them.”
“This is a fine night’s
work that you have done!” cried I. “And
all to save the reputation of a man that ate bread
by the shedding of his comrades’ blood, as I
do by the shedding of ink.”
“To save the reputation of that
family in which you are a servant, Mr. Mackellar,”
she returned, “and for which you have already
done so much.”
“It is a family I will not serve
much longer,” I cried, “for I am driven
desperate. You have stricken the sword out of
my hands; you have left us all defenceless. I
had always these letters I could shake over his head;
and now what is to do? We are so falsely
situate we dare not show the man the door; the country
would fly on fire against us; and I had this one hold
upon him and now it is gone now
he may come back to-morrow, and we must all sit down
with him to dinner, go for a stroll with him on the
terrace, or take a hand at cards, of all things, to
divert his leisure! No, madam! God forgive
you, if He can find it in His heart; for I cannot
find it in mine.”
“I wonder to find you so simple,
Mr. Mackellar,” said Mrs. Henry. “What
does this man value reputation? But he knows how
high we prize it; he knows we would rather die than
make these letters public; and do you suppose he would
not trade upon the knowledge? What you call your
sword, Mr. Mackellar, and which had been one indeed
against a man of any remnant of propriety, would have
been but a sword of paper against him. He would
smile in your face at such a threat. He stands
upon his degradation, he makes that his strength;
it is in vain to struggle with such characters.”
She cried out this last a little desperately, and then
with more quiet: “No, Mr. Mackellar; I have
thought upon this matter all night, and there is no
way out of it. Papers or no papers, the door of
this house stands open for him; he is the rightful
heir, forsooth! If we sought to exclude him,
all would redound against poor Henry, and I should
see him stoned again upon the streets. Ah! if
Henry dies, it is a different matter! They have
broke the entail for their own good purposes; the
estate goes to my daughter; and I shall see who sets
a foot upon it. But if Henry lives, my poor Mr.
Mackellar, and that man returns, we must suffer:
only this time it will be together.”
On the whole I was well pleased with
Mrs. Henry’s attitude of mind; nor could I even
deny there was some cogency in that which she advanced
about the papers.
“Let us say no more about it,”
said I. “I can only be sorry I trusted a
lady with the originals, which was an unbusinesslike
proceeding at the best. As for what I said of
leaving the service of the family, it was spoken with
the tongue only; and you may set your mind at rest.
I belong to Durrisdeer, Mrs. Henry, as if I had been
born there.”
I must do her the justice to say she
seemed perfectly relieved; so that we began this morning,
as we were to continue for so many years, on a proper
ground of mutual indulgence and respect.
The same day, which was certainly
prededicate to joy, we observed the first signal of
recovery in Mr. Henry; and about three of the following
afternoon he found his mind again, recognising me by
name with the strongest evidences of affection.
Mrs. Henry was also in the room, at the bed-foot;
but it did not appear that he observed her. And
indeed (the fever being gone) he was so weak that
he made but the one effort and sank again into a lethargy.
The course of his restoration was now slow, but equal;
every day his appetite improved; every week we were
able to remark an increase both of strength and flesh;
and before the end of the month he was out of bed
and had even begun to be carried in his chair upon
the terrace.
It was perhaps at this time that Mrs.
Henry and I were the most uneasy in mind. Apprehension
for his days was at an end; and a worse fear succeeded.
Every day we drew consciously nearer to a day of reckoning;
and the days passed on, and still there was nothing.
Mr. Henry bettered in strength, he held long talks
with us on a great diversity of subjects, his father
came and sat with him and went again; and still there
was no reference to the late tragedy or to the former
troubles which had brought it on. Did he remember,
and conceal his dreadful knowledge? or was the whole
blotted from his mind? This was the problem that
kept us watching and trembling all day when we were
in his company, and held us awake at night when we
were in our lonely beds. We knew not even which
alternative to hope for, both appearing so unnatural,
and pointing so directly to an unsound brain.
Once this fear offered, I observed his conduct with
sedulous particularity. Something of the child
he exhibited: a cheerfulness quite foreign to
his previous character, an interest readily aroused,
and then very tenacious, in small matters which he
had heretofore despised. When he was stricken
down, I was his only confidant, and I may say his
only friend, and he was on terms of division with
his wife; upon his recovery, all was changed, the past
forgotten, the wife first and even single in his thoughts.
He turned to her with all his emotions, like a child
to its mother, and seemed secure of sympathy; called
her in all his needs with something of that querulous
familiarity that marks a certainty of indulgence and
I must say, in justice to the woman, he was never
disappointed. To her, indeed, this changed behaviour
was inexpressibly affecting; and I think she felt
it secretly as a reproach; so that I have seen her,
in early days, escape out of the room that she might
indulge herself in weeping. But to me the change
appeared not natural; and viewing it along with all
the rest, I began to wonder, with many head-shakings,
whether his reason were perfectly erect.
As this doubt stretched over many
years, endured indeed until my master’s death,
and clouded all our subsequent relations, I may well
consider of it more at large. When he was able
to resume some charge of his affairs, I had many opportunities
to try him with precision. There was no lack
of understanding, nor yet of authority; but the old
continuous interest had quite departed; he grew readily
fatigued, and fell to yawning; and he carried into
money relations, where it is certainly out of place,
a facility that bordered upon slackness. True,
since we had no longer the exactions of the Master
to contend against, there was the less occasion to
raise strictness into principle or do battle for a
farthing. True, again, there was nothing excessive
in these relaxations, or I would have been no party
to them. But the whole thing marked a change,
very slight yet very perceptible; and though no man
could say my master had gone at all out of his mind,
no man could deny that he had drifted from his character.
It was the same to the end, with his manner and appearance.
Some of the heat of the fever lingered in his veins:
his movements a little hurried, his speech notably
more voluble, yet neither truly amiss. His whole
mind stood open to happy impressions, welcoming these
and making much of them; but the smallest suggestion
of trouble or sorrow he received with visible impatience,
and dismissed again with immediate relief. It
was to this temper that he owed the felicity of his
later days; and yet here it was, if anywhere, that
you could call the man insane. A great part of
this life consists in contemplating what we cannot
cure; but Mr. Henry, if he could not dismiss solicitude
by an effort of the mind, must instantly and at whatever
cost annihilate the cause of it; so that he played
alternately the ostrich and the bull. It is to
this strenuous cowardice of pain that I have to set
down all the unfortunate and excessive steps of his
subsequent career. Certainly this was the reason
of his beating M’Manus, the groom, a thing so
much out of all his former practice, and which awakened
so much comment at the time. It is to this, again,
that I must lay the total loss of near upon two hundred
pounds, more than the half of which I could have saved
if his impatience would have suffered me. But
he preferred loss or any desperate extreme to a continuance
of mental suffering.
All this has led me far from our immediate
trouble: whether he remembered or had forgotten
his late dreadful act; and if he remembered, in what
light he viewed it. The truth burst upon us suddenly,
and was indeed one of the chief surprises of my life.
He had been several times abroad, and was now beginning
to walk a little with, an arm, when it chanced I should
be left alone with him upon the terrace. He turned
to me with a singular furtive smile, such as schoolboys
use when in fault; and says he, in a private whisper,
and without the least preface: “Where have
you buried him?”
I could not make one sound in answer.
“Where have you buried him?” he repeated.
“I want to see his grave.”
I conceived I had best take the bull
by the horns. “Mr. Henry,” said I,
“I have news to give that will rejoice you exceedingly.
In all human likelihood, your hands are clear of blood.
I reason from certain indices; and by these it should
appear your brother was not dead, but was carried
in a swound on board the lugger. But now he may
be perfectly recovered.”
What there was in his countenance I could not read.
“James?” he asked.
“Your brother James,”
I answered. “I would not raise a hope that
may be found deceptive, but in my heart I think it
very probable he is alive.”
“Ah!” says Mr. Henry;
and suddenly rising from his seat with more alacrity
than he had yet discovered, set one finger on my breast,
and cried at me in a kind of screaming whisper, “Mackellar” these
were his words “nothing can kill
that man. He is not mortal. He is bound upon
my back to all eternity to all God’s
eternity!” says he, and, sitting down again,
fell upon a stubborn silence.
A day or two after, with the same
secret smile, and first looking about as if to be
sure we were alone, “Mackellar,” said he,
“when you have any intelligence, be sure and
let me know. We must keep an eye upon him, or
he will take us when we least expect.”
“He will not show face here again,” said
I.
“O yes, he will,” said
Mr. Henry. “Wherever I am, there will he
be.” And again he looked all about him.
“You must not dwell upon this
thought, Mr. Henry,” said I.
“No,” said he, “that
is a very good advice. We will never think of
it, except when you have news. And we do not
know yet,” he added; “he may be dead.”
The manner of his saying this convinced
me thoroughly of what I had scarce ventured to suspect:
that, so far from suffering any penitence for the
attempt, he did but lament his failure. This was
a discovery I kept to myself, fearing it might do
him a prejudice with his wife. But I might have
saved myself the trouble; she had divined it for herself,
and found the sentiment quite natural. Indeed,
I could not but say that there were three of us, all
of the same mind; nor could any news have reached
Durrisdeer more generally welcome than tidings of the
Master’s death.
This brings me to speak of the exception,
my old lord. As soon as my anxiety for my own
master began to be relaxed, I was aware of a change
in the old gentleman, his father, that seemed to threaten
mortal consequences.
His face was pale and swollen; as
he sat in the chimney-side with his Latin, he would
drop off sleeping and the book roll in the ashes; some
days he would drag his foot, others stumble in speaking.
The amenity of his behaviour appeared more extreme;
full of excuses for the least trouble, very thoughtful
for all; to myself, of a most flattering civility.
One day, that he had sent for his lawyer, and remained
a long while private, he met me as he was crossing
the hall with painful footsteps, and took me kindly
by the hand. “Mr. Mackellar,” said
he, “I have had many occasions to set a proper
value on your services; and to-day, when I re-cast
my will, I have taken the freedom to name you for
one of my executors. I believe you bear love enough
to our house to render me this service.”
At that very time he passed the greater portion of
his days in slumber, from which it was often difficult
to rouse him; seemed to have lost all count of years,
and had several times (particularly on waking) called
for his wife and for an old servant whose very gravestone
was now green with moss. If I had been put to
my oath, I must have declared he was incapable of
testing; and yet there was never a will drawn more
sensible in every trait, or showing a more excellent
judgment both of persons and affairs.
His dissolution, though it took not
very long, proceeded by infinitesimal gradations.
His faculties decayed together steadily; the power
of his limbs was almost gone, he was extremely deaf,
his speech had sunk into mere mumblings; and yet to
the end he managed to discover something of his former
courtesy and kindness, pressing the hand of any that
helped him, presenting me with one of his Latin books,
in which he had laboriously traced my name, and in
a thousand ways reminding us of the greatness of that
loss which it might almost be said we had already
suffered. To the end, the power of articulation
returned to him in flashes; it seemed he had only
forgotten the art of speech as a child forgets his
lesson, and at times he would call some part of it
to mind. On the last night of his life he suddenly
broke silence with these words from Virgil: “Gnatique
patrisque, alma, precor, miséréré,” perfectly
uttered, and with a fitting accent. At the sudden
clear sound of it we started from our several occupations;
but it was in vain we turned to him; he sat there
silent, and, to all appearance, fatuous. A little
later he was had to bed with more difficulty than ever
before; and some time in the night, without any mortal
violence, his spirit fled.
At a far later period I chanced to
speak of these particulars with a doctor of medicine,
a man of so high a reputation that I scruple to adduce
his name. By his view of it, father and son both
suffered from the same affection: the father
from the strain of his unnatural sorrows the
son, perhaps in the excitation of the fever; each had
ruptured a vessel in the brain, and there was probably
(my doctor added) some predisposition in the family
to accidents of that description. The father
sank, the son recovered all the externals of a healthy
man; but it is like there was some destruction in
those delicate tissues where the soul resides and
does her earthly business; her heavenly, I would fain
hope, cannot be thus obstructed by material accidents.
And yet, upon a more mature opinion, it matters not
one jot; for He who shall pass judgment on the records
of our life is the same that formed us in frailty.
The death of my old lord was the occasion
of a fresh surprise to us who watched the behaviour
of his successor. To any considering mind, the
two sons had between them slain their father, and
he who took the sword might be even said to have slain
him with his hand; but no such thought appeared to
trouble my new lord. He was becomingly grave;
I could scarce say sorrowful, or only with a pleasant
sorrow; talking of the dead with a regretful cheerfulness,
relating old examples of his character, smiling at
them with a good conscience; and when the day of the
funeral came round, doing the honours with exact propriety.
I could perceive, besides, that he found a solid gratification
in his accession to the title; the which he was punctilious
in exacting.
And now there came upon the scene
a new character, and one that played his part, too,
in the story; I mean the present lord, Alexander, whose
birth (17th July 1757) filled the cup of my poor master’s
happiness. There was nothing then left him to
wish for; nor yet leisure for him to wish for it.
Indeed, there never was a parent so fond and doting
as he showed himself. He was continually uneasy
in his son’s absence. Was the child abroad?
the father would be watching the clouds in case it
rained. Was it night? he would rise out of his
bed to observe its slumbers. His conversation
grew even wearyful to strangers, since he talked of
little but his son. In matters relating to the
estate, all was designed with a particular eye to
Alexander; and it would be: “Let us
put it in hand at once, that the wood may be grown
against Alexander’s majority”; or, “This
will fall in again handsomely for Alexander’s
marriage.” Every day this absorption of
the man’s nature became more observable, with
many touching and some very blameworthy particulars.
Soon the child could walk abroad with him, at first
on the terrace, hand in hand, and afterward at large
about the policies; and this grew to be my lord’s
chief occupation. The sound of their two voices
(audible a great way off, for they spoke loud) became
familiar in the neighbourhood; and for my part I found
it more agreeable than the sound of birds. It
was pretty to see the pair returning full of briers,
and the father as flushed and sometimes as bemuddied
as the child, for they were equal sharers in all sorts
of boyish entertainment, digging in the beach, damming
of streams, and what not; and I have seen them gaze
through a fence at cattle with the same childish contemplation.
The mention of these rambles brings
me to a strange scene of which I was a witness.
There was one walk I never followed myself without
emotion, so often had I gone there upon miserable
errands, so much had there befallen against the house
of Durrisdeer. But the path lay handy from all
points beyond the Muckle Ross; and I was driven, although
much against my will, to take my use of it perhaps
once in the two months. It befell when Mr. Alexander
was of the age of six or seven, I had some business
on the far side in the morning, and entered the shrubbery,
on my homeward way, about nine of a bright forenoon.
It was that time of year when the woods are all in
their spring colours, the thorns all in flower, and
the birds in the high season of their singing.
In contrast to this merriment, the shrubbery was only
the more sad, and I the more oppressed by its associations.
In this situation of spirit it struck me disagreeably
to hear voices a little way in front, and to recognise
the tones of my lord and Mr. Alexander. I pushed
ahead, and came presently into their view. They
stood together in the open space where the duel was,
my lord with his hand on his son’s shoulder,
and speaking with some gravity. At least, as
he raised his head upon my coming, I thought I could
perceive his countenance to lighten.
“Ah!” says he, “here
comes the good Mackellar. I have just been telling
Sandie the story of this place, and how there was a
man whom the devil tried to kill, and how near he
came to kill the devil instead.”
I had thought it strange enough he
should bring the child into that scene; that he should
actually be discoursing of his act, passed measure.
But the worst was yet to come: for he added, turning
to his son “You can ask Mackellar;
he was here and saw it.”
“Did you really see the devil?” asked
the child.
“I have not heard the tale,”
I replied; “and I am in a press of business.”
So far I said, sourly, fencing with the embarrassment
of the position; and suddenly the bitterness of the
past, and the terror of that scene by candle-light,
rushed in upon my mind. I bethought me that,
for a difference of a second’s quickness in parade,
the child before me might have never seen the day;
and the emotion that always fluttered round my heart
in that dark shrubbery burst forth in words. “But
so much is true,” I cried, “that I have
met the devil in these woods, and seen him foiled
here. Blessed be God that we escaped with life blessed
be God that one stone yet stands upon another in the
walls of Durrisdeer! And, O! Mr. Alexander,
if ever you come by this spot, though it was a hundred
years hence, and you came with the gayest and the highest
in the land, I would step aside and remember a bit
prayer.”
My lord bowed his head gravely.
“Ah!” says he, “Mackellar is always
in the right. Come, Alexander, take your bonnet
off.” And with that he uncovered, and held
out his hand. “O Lord,” said he, “I
thank Thee and my son thanks Thee, for Thy manifold
great mercies. Let us have peace for a little;
defend us from the evil man. Smite him, O Lord,
upon the lying mouth!” The last broke out of
him like a cry; and at that, whether remembered anger
choked his utterance, or whether he perceived this
was a singular sort of prayer, at least he suddenly
came to a full stop; and, after a moment, set back
his hat upon his head.
“I think you have forgot a word,
my lord,” said I. “’Forgive us our
trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against
us. For Thine is the kingdom, and the power,
and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen.’”
“Ah! that is easy saying,”
said my lord. “That is very easy saying,
Mackellar. But for me to forgive! I
think I would cut a very silly figure if I had the
affectation to pretend it.”
“The bairn, my lord!”
said I, with some severity, for I thought his expressions
little fitted for the ears of children.
“Why, very true,” said
he. “This is dull work for a bairn.
Let’s go nesting.”
I forget if it was the same day, but
it was soon after, my lord, finding me alone, opened
himself a little more on the same head.
“Mackellar,” he said, “I am now
a very happy man.”
“I think so indeed, my lord,”
said I, “and the sight of it gives me a light
heart.”
“There is an obligation in happiness do
you not think so?” says he musingly.
“I think so indeed,” says
I, “and one in sorrow too. If we are not
here to try to do the best, in my humble opinion the
sooner we are away the better for all parties.”
“Ay, but if you were in my shoes,
would you forgive him?” asks my lord.
The suddenness of the attack a little
gravelled me. “It is a duty laid upon us
strictly,” said I.
“Hut!” said he. “These
are expressions! Do you forgive the man yourself?”
“Well no!” said I. “God
forgive me, I do not.”
“Shake hands upon that!” cries my lord,
with a kind of joviality.
“It is an ill sentiment to shake
hands upon,” said I, “for Christian people.
I think I will give you mine on some more evangelical
occasion.”
This I said, smiling a little; but
as for my lord, he went from the room laughing aloud.
For my lord’s slavery to the
child I can find no expression adequate. He lost
himself in that continual thought: business, friends,
and wife being all alike forgotten, or only remembered
with a painful effort, like that of one struggling
with a posset. It was most notable in the matter
of his wife. Since I had known Durrisdeer, she
had been the burthen of his thought and the loadstone
of his eyes; and now she was quite cast out.
I have seen him come to the door of a room, look round,
and pass my lady over as though she were a dog before
the fire. It would be Alexander he was seeking,
and my lady knew it well. I have heard him speak
to her so ruggedly that I nearly found it in my heart
to intervene: the cause would still be the same,
that she had in some way thwarted Alexander.
Without doubt this was in the nature of a judgment
on my lady. Without doubt she had the tables turned
upon her, as only Providence can do it; she who had
been cold so many years to every mark of tenderness,
it was her part now to be neglected.
An odd situation resulted: that
we had once more two parties in the house, and that
now I was of my lady’s. Not that ever I
lost the love I bore my master. But, for one
thing, he had the less use for my society. For
another, I could not but compare the case of Mr. Alexander
with that of Miss Katharine, for whom my lord had
never found the least attention. And for a third,
I was wounded by the change he discovered to his wife,
which struck me in the nature of an infidelity.
I could not but admire, besides, the constancy and
kindness she displayed. Perhaps her sentiment
to my lord, as it had been founded from the first in
pity, was that rather of a mother than a wife; perhaps
it pleased her if I may say so to
behold her two children so happy in each other; the
more as one had suffered so unjustly in the past.
But, for all that, and though I could never trace
in her one spark of jealousy, she must fall back for
society on poor neglected Miss Katharine; and I, on
my part, came to pass my spare hours more and more
with the mother and daughter. It would be easy
to make too much of this division, for it was a pleasant
family, as families go; still the thing existed; whether
my lord knew it or not, I am in doubt. I do not
think he did; he was bound up so entirely in his son;
but the rest of us knew it, and in a manner suffered
from the knowledge.
What troubled us most, however, was
the great and growing danger to the child. My
lord was his father over again; it was to be feared
the son would prove a second Master. Time has
proved these fears to have been quite exaggerate.
Certainly there is no more worthy gentleman to-day
in Scotland than the seventh Lord Durrisdeer.
Of my own exodus from his employment it does not become
me to speak, above all in a memorandum written only
to justify his father....
[EDITOR’S NOTE. Five
pages of Mr. Mackellar’s MS. are here omitted.
I have gathered from their perusal an impression
that Mr. Mackellar, in his old age, was rather
an exacting servant. Against the seventh Lord
Durrisdeer (with whom, at any rate, we have no concern)
nothing material is alleged. R.
L. S.]
... But our fear at the time
was lest he should turn out, in the person of his
son, a second edition of his brother. My lady
had tried to interject some wholesome discipline;
she had been glad to give that up, and now looked
on with secret dismay; sometimes she even spoke of
it by hints; and sometimes, when there was brought
to her knowledge some monstrous instance of my lord’s
indulgence, she would betray herself in a gesture
or perhaps an exclamation. As for myself, I was
haunted by the thought both day and night: not
so much for the child’s sake as for the father’s.
The man had gone to sleep, he was dreaming a dream,
and any rough awakening must infallibly prove mortal.
That he should survive the child’s death was
inconceivable; and the fear of its dishonour made me
cover my face.
It was this continual preoccupation
that screwed me up at last to a remonstrance:
a matter worthy to be narrated in detail. My lord
and I sat one day at the same table upon some tedious
business of detail; I have said that he had lost his
former interest in such occupations; he was plainly
itching to be gone, and he looked fretful, weary, and
methought older than I had ever previously observed.
I suppose it was the haggard face that put me suddenly
upon my enterprise.
“My lord,” said I, with
my head down, and feigning to continue my occupation “or,
rather, let me call you again by the name of Mr. Henry,
for I fear your anger, and want you to think upon old
times ”
“My good Mackellar!” said
he; and that in tones so kindly that I had near forsook
my purpose. But I called to mind that I was speaking
for his good, and stuck to my colours.
“Has it never come in upon your
mind what you are doing?” I asked.
“What I am doing?” he
repeated; “I was never good at guessing riddles.”
“What you are doing with your son?” said
I.
“Well,” said he, with
some defiance in his tone, “and what am I doing
with my son?”
“Your father was a very good
man,” says I, straying from the direct path.
“But do you think he was a wise father?”
There was a pause before he spoke,
and then: “I say nothing against him,”
he replied. “I had the most cause perhaps;
but I say nothing.”
“Why, there it is,” said
I. “You had the cause at least. And
yet your father was a good man; I never knew a better,
save on the one point, nor yet a wiser. Where
he stumbled, it is highly possible another man should
fall. He had the two sons ”
My lord rapped suddenly and violently on the table.
“What is this?” cried he. “Speak
out!”
“I will, then,” said I,
my voice almost strangled with the thumping of my
heart. “If you continue to indulge Mr. Alexander,
you are following in your father’s footsteps.
Beware, my lord, lest (when he grows up) your son
should follow in the Master’s.”
I had never meant to put the thing
so crudely; but in the extreme of fear there comes
a brutal kind of courage, the most brutal indeed of
all; and I burnt my ships with that plain word.
I never had the answer. When I lifted my head,
my lord had risen to his feet, and the next moment
he fell heavily on the floor. The fit or seizure
endured not very long; he came to himself vacantly,
put his hand to his head, which I was then supporting,
and says he, in a broken voice: “I have
been ill,” and a little after: “Help
me.” I got him to his feet, and he stood
pretty well, though he kept hold of the table.
“I have been ill, Mackellar,” he said
again. “Something broke, Mackellar or
was going to break, and then all swam away. I
think I was very angry. Never you mind, Mackellar;
never you mind, my man. I wouldna hurt a hair
upon your head. Too much has come and gone.
It’s a certain thing between us two. But
I think, Mackellar, I will go to Mrs. Henry I
think I will go to Mrs. Henry,” said he, and
got pretty steadily from the room, leaving me overcome
with penitence.
Presently the door flew open, and
my lady swept in with flashing eyes. “What
is all this?” she cried. “What have
you done to my husband? Will nothing teach you
your position in this house? Will you never cease
from making and meddling?”
“My lady,” said I, “since
I have been in this house I have had plenty of hard
words. For a while they were my daily diet, and
I swallowed them all. As for to-day, you may
call me what you please; you will never find the name
hard enough for such a blunder. And yet I meant
it for the best.”
I told her all with ingenuity, even
as it is written here; and when she had heard me out,
she pondered, and I could see her animosity fall.
“Yes,” she said, “you meant well
indeed. I have had the same thought myself, or
the same temptation rather, which makes me pardon you.
But, dear God, can you not understand that he can
bear no more? He can bear no more!” she
cried. “The cord is stretched to snapping.
What matters the future if he have one or two good
days?”
“Amen,” said I. “I
will meddle no more. I am pleased enough that
you should recognise the kindness of my meaning.”
“Yes,” said my lady; “but
when it came to the point, I have to suppose your
courage failed you; for what you said was said cruelly.”
She paused, looking at me; then suddenly smiled a
little, and said a singular thing: “Do
you know what you are, Mr. Mackellar? You are
an old maid.”
No more incident of any note occurred
in the family until the return of that ill-starred
man, the Master. But I have to place here a second
extract from the memoirs of Chevalier Burke, interesting
in itself, and highly necessary for my purpose.
It is our only sight of the Master on his Indian travels;
and the first word in these pages of Secundra Dass.
One fact, it is to observe, appears here very clearly,
which if we had known some twenty years ago, how many
calamities and sorrows had been spared! that
Secundra Dass spoke English.