The chaise came to the door in a strong
drenching mist. We took our leave in silence:
the house of Durrisdeer standing with drooping gutters
and windows closed, like a place dedicate to melancholy.
I observed the Master kept his head out, looking back
on these splashed walls and glimmering roofs, till
they were suddenly swallowed in the mist; and I must
suppose some natural sadness fell upon the man at this
departure; or was it some prevision of the end?
At least, upon our mounting the long brae from Durrisdeer,
as we walked side by side in the wet, he began first
to whistle and then to sing the saddest of our country
tunes, which sets folk weeping in a tavern, “Wandering
Willie.” The set of words he used with
it I have not heard elsewhere, and could never come
by any copy; but some of them which were the most appropriate
to our departure linger in my memory. One verse
began
“Home was home then, my dear, full
of kindly faces;
Home was home then, my dear, happy
for the child.”
And ended somewhat thus
“Now, when day dawns on the brow
of the moorland,
Lone stands the house,
and the chimney-stone is cold,
Lone let it stand, now the folks
are all departed,
The kind hearts, the
true hearts, that loved the place of old.”
I could never be a judge of the merit
of these verses; they were so hallowed by the melancholy
of the air, and were sung (or rather “soothed”)
to me by a master-singer at a time so fitting.
He looked in my face when he had done, and saw that
my eyes watered.
“Ah! Mackellar,”
said he, “do you think I have never a regret?”
“I do not think you could be
so bad a man,” said I, “if you had not
all the machinery to be a good one.”
“No, not all,” says he:
“not all. You are there in error. The
malady of not wanting, my evangelist.”
But methought he sighed as he mounted again into the
chaise.
All day long we journeyed in the same
miserable weather: the mist besetting us closely,
the heavens incessantly weeping on my head. The
road lay over moorish hills, where was no sound but
the crying of moor-fowl in the wet heather and the
pouring of the swollen burns. Sometimes I would
doze off in slumber, when I would find myself plunged
at once in some foul and ominous nightmare, from the
which I would awake strangling. Sometimes, if
the way was steep and the wheels turning slowly, I
would overhear the voices from within, talking in that
tropical tongue which was to me as inarticulate as
the piping of the fowls. Sometimes, at a longer
ascent, the Master would set foot to ground and walk
by my side, mostly without speech. And all the
time, sleeping or waking, I beheld the same black
perspective of approaching ruin; and the same pictures
rose in my view, only they were now painted upon hill-side
mist. One, I remember, stood before me with the
colours of a true illusion. It showed me my lord
seated at a table in a small room; his head, which
was at first buried in his hands, he slowly raised,
and turned upon me a countenance from which hope had
fled. I saw it first on the black window-panes,
my last night in Durrisdeer; it haunted and returned
upon me half the voyage through; and yet it was no
effect of lunacy, for I have come to a ripe old age
with no decay of my intelligence; nor yet (as I was
then tempted to suppose) a heaven-sent warning of
the future, for all manner of calamities befell, not
that calamity and I saw many pitiful sights,
but never that one.
It was decided we should travel on
all night; and it was singular, once the dusk had
fallen, my spirits somewhat rose. The bright lamps,
shining forth into the mist and on the smoking horses
and the hodding post-boy, gave me perhaps an outlook
intrinsically more cheerful than what day had shown;
or perhaps my mind had become wearied of its melancholy.
At least I spent some waking hours, not without satisfaction
in my thoughts, although wet and weary in my body;
and fell at last into a natural slumber without dreams.
Yet I must have been at work even in the deepest of
my sleep; and at work with at least a measure of intelligence.
For I started broad awake, in the very act of crying
out to myself
“Home was home then, my dear, happy
for the child.”
stricken to find in it an appropriateness,
which I had not yesterday observed, to the Master’s
detestable purpose in the present journey.
We were then close upon the city of
Glascow, where we were soon breakfasting together
at an inn, and where (as the devil would have it)
we found a ship in the very article of sailing.
We took our places in the cabin; and, two days after,
carried our effects on board. Her name was the
Nonesuch, a very ancient ship, and very happily
named. By all accounts this should be her last
voyage; people shook their heads upon the quays, and
I had several warnings offered me by strangers in the
street to the effect that she was rotten as a cheese,
too deeply loaden, and must infallibly founder if
we met a gale. From this it fell out we were
the only passengers; the Captain, M’Murtrie,
was a silent, absorbed man, with the Glascow or Gaelic
accent; the mates ignorant rough seafarers, come in
through the hawsehole; and the Master and I were cast
upon each other’s company.
The Nonesuch carried a fair
wind out of the Clyde, and for near upon a week we
enjoyed bright weather and a sense of progress.
I found myself (to my wonder) a born seaman, in so
far at least as I was never sick; yet I was far from
tasting the usual serenity of my health. Whether
it was the motion of the ship on the billows, the
confinement, the salted food, or all of these together,
I suffered from a blackness of spirit and a painful
strain upon my temper. The nature of my errand
on that ship perhaps contributed; I think it did no
more; the malady (whatever it was) sprang from my
environment; and if the ship were not to blame, then
it was the Master. Hatred and fear are ill bed-fellows;
but (to my shame be it spoken) I have tasted those
in other places, lain down and got up with them, and
eaten and drunk with them, and yet never before, nor
after, have I been so poisoned through and through,
in soul and body, as I was on board the Nonesuch.
I freely confess my enemy set me a fair example of
forbearance; in our worst days displayed the most
patient geniality, holding me in conversation as long
as I would suffer, and when I had rebuffed his civility,
stretching himself on deck to read. The book
he had on board with him was Mr. Richardson’s
famous “Clarissa,” and among other small
attentions he would read me passages aloud; nor could
any elocutionist have given with greater potency the
pathetic portions of that work. I would retort
upon him with passages out of the Bible, which was
all my library and very fresh to me, my
religious duties (I grieve to say it) being always
and even to this day extremely neglected. He
tasted the merits of the work like the connoisseur
he was; and would sometimes take it from my hand, turn
the leaves over like a man that knew his way, and
give me, with his fine declamation, a Roland for my
Oliver. But it was singular how little he applied
his reading to himself; it passed high above his head
like summer thunder; Lovelace and Clarissa, the tales
of David’s generosity, the psalms of his penitence,
the solemn questions of the Book of Job, the touching
poetry of Isaiah they were to him a source
of entertainment only, like the scraping of a fiddle
in a change-house. This outer sensibility and
inner toughness set me against him; it seemed of a
piece with that impudent grossness which I knew to
underlie the veneer of his fine manners; and sometimes
my gorge rose against him as though he were deformed and
sometimes I would draw away as though from something
partly spectral. I had moments when I thought
of him as of a man of pasteboard as though,
if one should strike smartly through the buckram of
his countenance, there would be found a mere vacuity
within. This horror (not merely fanciful, I think)
vastly increased my detestation of his neighbourhood;
I began to feel something shiver within me on his
drawing near; I had at times a longing to cry out;
there were days when I thought I could have struck
him. This frame of mind was doubtless helped
by shame, because I had dropped during our last days
at Durrisdeer into a certain toleration of the man;
and if any one had then told me I should drop into
it again, I must have laughed in his face. It
is possible he remained unconscious of this extreme
fever of my resentment; yet I think he was too quick;
and rather that he had fallen, in a long life of idleness,
into a positive need of company, which obliged him
to confront and tolerate my unconcealed aversion.
Certain, at least, that he loved the note of his own
tongue, as, indeed, he entirely loved all the parts
and properties of himself; a sort of imbecility which
almost necessarily attends on wickedness. I have
seen him driven, when I proved recalcitrant, to long
discourses with the skipper; and this, although the
man plainly testified his weariness, fiddling miserably
with both hand and foot, and replying only with a
grunt.
After the first week out we fell in
with foul winds and heavy weather. The sea was
high. The Nonesuch being an old-fashioned
ship, and badly loaden, rolled beyond belief; so that
the skipper trembled for his masts, and I for my life.
We made no progress on our course. An unbearable
ill-humour settled on the ship: men, mates, and
master, girding at one another all day long.
A saucy word on the one hand, and a blow on the other,
made a daily incident. There were times when the
whole crew refused their duty; and we of the afterguard
were twice got under arms being the first
time that ever I bore weapons in the fear
of mutiny.
In the midst of our evil season sprang
up a hurricane of wind; so that all supposed she must
go down. I was shut in the cabin from noon of
one day till sundown of the next; the Master was somewhere
lashed on deck; Secundra had eaten of some drug and
lay insensible; so you may say I passed these hours
in an unbroken solitude. At first I was terrified
beyond motion, and almost beyond thought, my mind appearing
to be frozen. Presently there stole in on me
a ray of comfort. If the Nonesuch foundered,
she would carry down with her into the deeps of that
unsounded sea the creature whom we all so feared and
hated; there would be no more Master of Ballantrae,
the fish would sport among his ribs; his schemes all
brought to nothing, his harmless enemies at peace.
At first, I have said, it was but a ray of comfort;
but it had soon grown to be broad sunshine. The
thought of the man’s death, of his deletion
from this world, which he embittered for so many, took
possession of my mind. I hugged it, I found it
sweet in my belly. I conceived the ship’s
last plunge, the sea bursting upon all sides into
the cabin, the brief mortal conflict there, all by
myself, in that closed place; I numbered the horrors,
I had almost said with satisfaction; I felt I could
bear all and more, if the Nonesuch carried
down with her, overtook by the same ruin, the enemy
of my poor master’s house. Towards noon
of the second day the screaming of the wind abated;
the ship lay not so perilously over, and it began to
be clear to me that we were past the height of the
tempest. As I hope for mercy, I was singly disappointed.
In the selfishness of that vile, absorbing passion
of hatred, I forgot the case of our innocent shipmates,
and thought but of myself and my enemy. For myself,
I was already old; I had never been young, I was not
formed for the world’s pleasures, I had few
affections; it mattered not the toss of a silver tester
whether I was drowned there and then in the Atlantic,
or dribbled out a few more years, to die, perhaps
no less terribly, in a deserted sick-bed. Down
I went upon my knees holding on by the
locker, or else I had been instantly dashed across
the tossing cabin and, lifting up my voice
in the midst of that clamour of the abating hurricane,
impiously prayed for my own death. “O God!”
I cried, “I would be liker a man if I rose and
struck this creature down; but Thou madest me a coward
from my mother’s womb. O Lord, Thou madest
me so, Thou knowest my weakness, Thou knowest that
any face of death will set me shaking in my shoes.
But, lo! here is Thy servant ready, his mortal weakness
laid aside. Let me give my life for this creature’s;
take the two of them, Lord! take the two, and have
mercy on the innocent!” In some such words as
these, only yet more irreverent and with more sacred
adjurations, I continued to pour forth my spirit.
God heard me not, I must suppose in mercy; and I was
still absorbed in my agony of supplication when some
one, removing the tarpaulin cover, let the light of
the sunset pour into the cabin. I stumbled to
my feet ashamed, and was seized with surprise to find
myself totter and ache like one that had been stretched
upon the rack. Secundra Dass, who had slept off
the effects of his drug, stood in a corner not far
off, gazing at me with wild eyes; and from the open
skylight the captain thanked me for my supplications.
“It’s you that saved the
ship, Mr. Mackellar,” says he. “There
is no craft of seamanship that could have kept her
floating: well may we say, ’Except the
Lord the city keep, the watchmen watch in vain’!”
I was abashed by the captain’s
error; abashed, also, by the surprise and fear with
which the Indian regarded me at first, and the obsequious
civilities with which he soon began to cumber me.
I know now that he must have overheard and comprehended
the peculiar nature of my prayers. It is certain,
of course, that he at once disclosed the matter to
his patron; and looking back with greater knowledge,
I can now understand what so much puzzled me at the
moment, those singular and (so to speak) approving
smiles with which the Master honoured me. Similarly,
I can understand a word that I remember to have fallen
from him in conversation that same night; when, holding
up his hand and smiling, “Ah! Mackellar,”
said he, “not every man is so great a coward
as he thinks he is nor yet so good a Christian.”
He did not guess how true he spoke! For the fact
is, the thoughts which had come to me in the violence
of the storm retained their hold upon my spirit; and
the words that rose to my lips unbidden in the instancy
of prayer continued to sound in my ears: with
what shameful consequences it is fitting I should
honestly relate; for I could not support a part of
such disloyalty as to describe the sins of others
and conceal my own.
The wind fell, but the sea hove ever
the higher. All night the Nonesuch rolled
outrageously; the next day dawned, and the next, and
brought no change. To cross the cabin was scarce
possible; old experienced seamen were cast down upon
the deck, and one cruelly mauled in the concussion;
every board and block in the old ship cried out aloud;
and the great bell by the anchor-bitts continually
and dolefully rang. One of these days the Master
and I sate alone together at the break of the poop.
I should say the Nonesuch carried a high, raised
poop. About the top of it ran considerable bulwarks,
which made the ship unweatherly: and these, as
they approached the front on each side, ran down in
a fine, old-fashioned, carven scroll to join the bulwarks
of the waist. From this disposition, which seems
designed rather for ornament than use, it followed
there was a discontinuance of protection: and
that, besides, at the very margin of the elevated part
where (in certain movements of the ship) it might
be the most needful. It was here we were sitting:
our feet hanging down, the Master betwixt me and the
side, and I holding on with both hands to the grating
of the cabin skylight; for it struck me it was a dangerous
position, the more so as I had continually before
my eyes a measure of our evolutions in the person of
the Master, which stood out in the break of the bulwarks
against the sun. Now his head would be in the
zenith and his shadow fall quite beyond the Nonesuch
on the farther side; and now he would swing down till
he was underneath my feet, and the line of the sea
leaped high above him like the ceiling of a room.
I looked on upon this with a growing fascination,
as birds are said to look on snakes. My mind,
besides, was troubled with an astonishing diversity
of noises; for now that we had all sails spread in
the vain hope to bring her to the sea, the ship sounded
like a factory with their reverberations. We spoke
first of the mutiny with which we had been threatened;
this led us on to the topic of assassination; and
that offered a temptation to the Master more strong
than he was able to resist. He must tell me a
tale, and show me at the same time how clever he was,
and how wicked. It was a thing he did always
with affectation and display; generally with a good
effect. But this tale, told in a high key in
the midst of so great a tumult, and by a narrator
who was one moment looking down at me from the skies
and the next peering up from under the soles of my
feet this particular tale, I say, took
hold upon me in a degree quite singular.
“My friend the count,”
it was thus that he began his story, “had for
an enemy a certain German baron, a stranger in Rome.
It matters not what was the ground of the count’s
enmity; but as he had a firm design to be revenged,
and that with safety to himself, he kept it secret
even from the baron. Indeed, that is the first
principle of vengeance; and hatred betrayed is hatred
impotent. The count was a man of a curious, searching
mind; he had something of the artist; if anything fell
for him to do, it must always be done with an exact
perfection, not only as to the result, but in the
very means and instruments, or he thought the thing
miscarried. It chanced he was one day riding in
the outer suburbs, when he came to a disused by-road
branching off into the moor which lies about Rome.
On the one hand was an ancient Roman tomb; on the other
a deserted house in a garden of evergreen trees.
This road brought him presently into a field of ruins,
in the midst of which, in the side of a hill, he saw
an open door, and, not far off, a single stunted pine
no greater than a currant-bush. The place was
desert and very secret; a voice spoke in the count’s
bosom that there was something here to his advantage.
He tied his horse to the pine-tree, took his flint
and steel in his hand to make a light, and entered
into the hill. The doorway opened on a passage
of old Roman masonry, which shortly after branched
in two. The count took the turning to the right,
and followed it, groping forward in the dark, till
he was brought up by a kind of fence, about elbow-high,
which extended quite across the passage. Sounding
forward with his foot, he found an edge of polished
stone, and then vacancy. All his curiosity was
now awakened, and, getting some rotten sticks that
lay about the floor, he made a fire. In front
of him was a profound well; doubtless some neighbouring
peasant had once used it for his water, and it was
he that had set up the fence. A long while the
count stood leaning on the rail and looking down into
the pit. It was of Roman foundation, and, like
all that nation set their hands to, built as for eternity;
the sides were still straight, and the joints smooth;
to a man who should fall in, no escape was possible.
‘Now,’ the count was thinking, ’a
strong impulsion brought me to this place. What
for? what have I gained? why should I be sent to gaze
into this well?’ when the rail of the fence
gave suddenly under his weight, and he came within
an ace of falling headlong in. Leaping back to
save himself, he trod out the last flicker of his
fire, which gave him thenceforward no more light,
only an incommoding smoke. ‘Was I sent here
to my death?’ says he, and shook from head to
foot. And then a thought flashed in his mind.
He crept forth on hands and knees to the brink of the
pit, and felt above him in the air. The rail
had been fast to a pair of uprights; it had only broken
from the one, and still depended from the other.
The count set it back again as he had found it, so
that the place meant death to the first comer, and
groped out of the catacomb like a sick man. The
next day, riding in the Corso with the baron, he purposely
betrayed a strong preoccupation. The other (as
he had designed) inquired into the cause; and he,
after some fencing, admitted that his spirits had
been dashed by an unusual dream. This was calculated
to draw on the baron a superstitious man,
who affected the scorn of superstition. Some
rallying followed, and then the count, as if suddenly
carried away, called on his friend to beware, for
it was of him that he had dreamed. You know enough
of human nature, my excellent Mackellar, to be certain
of one thing: I mean that the baron did not rest
till he had heard the dream. The count, sure
that he would never desist, kept him in play till
his curiosity was highly inflamed, and then suffered
himself, with seeming reluctance, to be overborne.
‘I warn you,’ says he, ’evil will
come of it; something tells me so. But since there
is to be no peace either for you or me except on this
condition, the blame be on your own head! This
was the dream: I beheld you riding, I know
not where, yet I think it must have been near Rome,
for on your one hand was an ancient tomb, and on the
other a garden of evergreen trees. Methought I
cried and cried upon you to come back in a very agony
of terror; whether you heard me I know not, but you
went doggedly on. The road brought you to a desert
place among ruins, where was a door in a hill-side,
and hard by the door a misbegotten pine. Here
you dismounted (I still crying on you to beware),
tied your horse to the pine-tree, and entered resolutely
in by the door. Within, it was dark; but in my
dream I could still see you, and still besought you
to hold back. You felt your way along the right-hand
wall, took a branching passage to the right, and came
to a little chamber, where was a well with a railing.
At this I know not why my alarm
for you increased a thousandfold, so that I seemed
to scream myself hoarse with warnings, crying it was
still time, and bidding you begone at once from that
vestibule. Such was the word I used in my dream,
and it seemed then to have a clear significancy; but
to-day, and awake, I profess I know not what it means.
To all my outcry you rendered not the least attention,
leaning the while upon the rail and looking down intently
in the water. And then there was made to you a
communication; I do not think I even gathered what
it was, but the fear of it plucked me clean out of
my slumber, and I awoke shaking and sobbing.
And now,’ continues the count, ’I thank
you from my heart for your insistency. This dream
lay on me like a load; and now I have told it in plain
words and in the broad daylight, it seems no great
matter.’ ’I do not know,’
says the baron. ’It is in some points strange.
A communication, did you say! O! it is an odd
dream. It will make a story to amuse our friends.’ ’I
am not so sure,’ says the count. ’I
am sensible of some reluctancy. Let us rather
forget it.’ ’By all means,’
says the baron. And (in fact) the dream was not
again referred to. Some days after, the count
proposed a ride in the fields, which the baron (since
they were daily growing faster friends) very readily
accepted. On the way back to Rome, the count led
them insensibly by a particular route. Presently
he reined in his horse, clapped his hand before his
eyes, and cried out aloud. Then he showed his
face again (which was now quite white, for he was
a consummate actor), and stared upon the baron.
‘What ails you?’ cries the baron.
’What is wrong with you?’ ’Nothing,’
cries the count. ’It is nothing. A
seizure, I know not what. Let us hurry back to
Rome.’ But in the meanwhile the baron had
looked about him; and there, on the left-hand side
of the way as they went back to Rome, he saw a dusty
by-road with a tomb upon the one hand and a garden
of evergreen trees upon the other. ’Yes,’
says he, with a changed voice. ’Let us
by all means hurry back to Rome. I fear you are
not well in health.’ ’O, for
God’s sake!’ cried the count, shuddering,
‘back to Rome and let me get to bed.’
They made their return with scarce a word; and the
count, who should by rights have gone into society,
took to his bed and gave out he had a touch of country
fever. The next day the baron’s horse was
found tied to the pine, but himself was never heard
of from that hour. And now, was that a murder?”
says the Master, breaking sharply off.
“Are you sure he was a count?” I asked.
“I am not certain of the title,”
said he, “but he was a gentleman of family:
and the Lord deliver you, Mackellar, from an enemy
so subtile!”
These last words he spoke down at
me, smiling from high above; the next, he was under
my feet. I continued to follow his evolutions
with a childish fixity: they made me giddy and
vacant, and I spoke as in a dream.
“He hated the baron with a great hatred?”
I asked.
“His belly moved when the man came near him,”
said the Master.
“I have felt that same,” said I.
“Verily!” cries the Master.
“Here is news indeed! I wonder do
I flatter myself? or am I the cause of these ventral
perturbations?”
He was quite capable of choosing out
a graceful posture, even with no one to behold him
but myself, and all the more if there were any element
of peril. He sat now with one knee flung across
the other, his arms on his bosom, fitting the swing
of the ship with an exquisite balance, such as a featherweight
might overthrow. All at once I had the vision
of my lord at the table, with his head upon his hands;
only now, when he showed me his countenance, it was
heavy with reproach. The words of my own prayer I
were liker a man if I struck this creature down shot
at the same time into my memory. I called my
energies together, and (the ship then heeling downward
toward my enemy) thrust at him swiftly with my foot.
It was written I should have the guilt of this attempt
without the profit. Whether from my own uncertainty
or his incredible quickness, he escaped the thrust,
leaping to his feet and catching hold at the same
moment of a stay.
I do not know how long a time passed
by: I lying where I was upon the deck, overcome
with terror and remorse and shame: he standing
with the stay in his hand, backed against the bulwarks,
and regarding me with an expression singularly mingled.
At last he spoke.
“Mackellar,” said he,
“I make no reproaches, but I offer you a bargain.
On your side, I do not suppose you desire to have this
exploit made public; on mine, I own to you freely
I do not care to draw my breath in a perpetual terror
of assassination by the man I sit at meat with.
Promise me but no,” says he, breaking
off, “you are not yet in the quiet possession
of your mind; you might think I had extorted the promise
from your weakness; and I would leave no door open
for casuistry to come in that dishonesty
of the conscientious. Take time to meditate.”
With that he made off up the sliding
deck like a squirrel, and plunged into the cabin.
About half an hour later he returned I still
lying as he had left me.
“Now,” says he, “will
you give me your troth as a Christian, and a faithful
servant of my brother’s, that I shall have no
more to fear from your attempts?”
“I give it you,” said I.
“I shall require your hand upon it,” says
he.
“You have the right to make conditions,”
I replied, and we shook hands.
He sat down at once in the same place and the old
perilous attitude.
“Hold on!” cried I, covering
my eyes. “I cannot bear to see you in that
posture. The least irregularity of the sea might
plunge you overboard.”
“You are highly inconsistent,”
he replied, smiling, but doing as I asked. “For
all that, Mackellar, I would have you to know you have
risen forty feet in my esteem. You think I cannot
set a price upon fidelity? But why do you suppose
I carry that Secundra Dass about the world with me?
Because he would die or do murder for me to-morrow;
and I love him for it. Well, you may think it
odd, but I like you the better for this afternoon.
I thought you were magnetised with the Ten Commandments;
but no God damn my soul!” he
cries, “the old wife has blood in his body after
all! Which does not change the fact,” he
continued, smiling again, “that you have done
well to give your promise; for I doubt if you would
ever shine in your new trade.”
“I suppose,” said I, “I
should ask your pardon and God’s for my attempt.
At any rate, I have passed my word, which I will keep
faithfully. But when I think of those you persecute ”
I paused.
“Life is a singular thing,”
said he, “and mankind a very singular people.
You suppose yourself to love my brother. I assure
you, it is merely custom. Interrogate your memory;
and when first you came to Durrisdeer, you will find
you considered him a dull, ordinary youth. He
is as dull and ordinary now, though not so young.
Had you instead fallen in with me, you would to-day
be as strong upon my side.”
“I would never say you were
ordinary, Mr. Bally,” I returned; “but
here you prove yourself dull. You have just shown
your reliance on my word in other terms,
that is, my conscience the same which starts
instinctively back from you, like the eye from a strong
light.”
“Ah!” says he, “but
I mean otherwise. I mean, had I met you in my
youth. You are to consider I was not always as
I am to-day; nor (had I met in with a friend of your
description) should I have ever been so.”
“Hut, Mr. Bally,” says
I, “you would have made a mock of me; you would
never have spent ten civil words on such a Square-toes.”
But he was now fairly started on his
new course of justification, with which he wearied
me throughout the remainder of the passage. No
doubt in the past he had taken pleasure to paint himself
unnecessarily black, and made a vaunt of his wickedness,
bearing it for a coat-of-arms. Nor was he so
illogical as to abate one item of his old confessions.
“But now that I know you are a human being,”
he would say, “I can take the trouble to explain
myself. For I assure you I am human too, and have
my virtues like my neighbours.” I say,
he wearied me, for I had only the one word to say
in answer: twenty times I must have said it:
“Give up your present purpose and return with
me to Durrisdeer: then I will believe you.”
Thereupon he would shake his head
at me. “Ah! Mackellar, you might live
a thousand years and never understand my nature,”
he would say. “This battle is now committed,
the hour of reflection quite past, the hour for mercy
not yet come. It began between us when we span
a coin in the hall of Durrisdeer, now twenty years
ago; we have had our ups and downs, but never either
of us dreamed of giving in; and as for me, when my
glove is cast, life and honour go with it.”
“A fig for your honour!”
I would say. “And by your leave, these warlike
similitudes are something too high-sounding for
the matter in hand. You want some dirty money;
there is the bottom of your contention; and as for
your means, what are they? to stir up sorrow in a family
that never harmed you, to debauch (if you can) your
own nephew, and to wring the heart of your born brother!
A footpad that kills an old granny in a woollen mutch
with a dirty bludgeon, and that for a shilling-piece
and a paper of snuff there is all the warrior
that you are.”
When I would attack him thus (or somewhat
thus) he would smile, and sigh like a man misunderstood.
Once, I remember, he defended himself more at large
and had some curious sophistries, worth repeating,
for a light upon his character.
“You are very like a civilian
to think war consists in drums and banners,”
said he. “War (as the ancients said very
wisely) is ultima ratio. When we take
our advantage unrelentingly, then we make war.
Ah! Mackellar, you are a devil of a soldier in
the steward’s room at Durrisdeer, or the tenants
do you sad injustice!”
“I think little of what war
is or is not,” I replied. “But you
weary me with claiming my respect. Your brother
is a good man, and you are a bad one neither
more nor less.”
“Had I been Alexander ”
he began.
“It is so we all dupe ourselves,”
I cried. “Had I been St. Paul, it would
have been all one; I would have made the same hash
of that career that you now see me making of my own.”
“I tell you,” he cried,
bearing down my interruption, “had I been the
least petty chieftain in the Highlands, had I been
the least king of naked negroes in the African desert,
my people would have adored me. A bad man, am
I? Ah! but I was born for a good tyrant!
Ask Secundra Dass; he will tell you I treat him like
a son. Cast in your lot with me to-morrow, become
my slave, my chattel, a thing I can command as I command
the powers of my own limbs and spirit you
will see no more that dark side that I turn upon the
world in anger. I must have all or none.
But where all is given I give it back with usury.
I have a kingly nature: there is my loss!”
“It has been hitherto rather
the loss of others,” I remarked, “which
seems a little on the hither side of royalty.”
“Tilly-vally!” cried he.
“Even now, I tell you, I would spare that family
in which you take so great an interest: yes, even
now to-morrow I would leave them to their
petty welfare, and disappear in that forest of cut-throats
and thimble-riggers that we call the world. I
would do it to-morrow!” says he. “Only only ”
“Only what?” I asked.
“Only they must beg it on their
bended knees. I think in public, too,”
he added, smiling. “Indeed, Mackellar, I
doubt if there be a hall big enough to serve my purpose
for that act of reparation.”
“Vanity, vanity!” I moralised.
“To think that this great force for evil should
be swayed by the same sentiment that sets a lassie
mincing to her glass!”
“O! there are double words for
everything: the word that swells, the word that
belittles; you cannot fight me with a word!”
said he. “You said the other day that I
relied on your conscience: were I in your humour
of detraction, I might say I built upon your vanity.
It is your pretension to be un homme de parole;
’tis mine not to accept defeat. Call it
vanity, call it virtue, call it greatness of soul what
signifies the expression? But recognise in each
of us a common strain: that we both live for
an idea.”
It will be gathered from so much familiar
talk, and so much patience on both sides, that we
now lived together upon excellent terms. Such
was again the fact, and this time more seriously than
before. Apart from disputations such as that
which I have tried to reproduce, not only consideration
reigned, but, I am tempted to say, even kindness.
When I fell sick (as I did shortly after our great
storm), he sat by my berth to entertain me with his
conversation, and treated me with excellent remedies,
which I accepted with security. Himself commented
on the circumstance. “You see,” says
he, “you begin to know me better. A very
little while ago, upon this lonely ship, where no one
but myself has any smattering of science, you would
have made sure I had designs upon your life.
And, observe, it is since I found you had designs upon
my own that I have shown you most respect. You
will tell me if this speaks of a small mind.”
I found little to reply. In so far as regarded
myself, I believed him to mean well; I am, perhaps,
the more a dupe of his dissimulation, but I believed
(and I still believe) that he regarded me with genuine
kindness. Singular and sad fact! so soon as this
change began, my animosity abated, and these haunting
visions of my master passed utterly away. So
that, perhaps, there was truth in the man’s last
vaunting word to me, uttered on the twenty-second day
of July, when our long voyage was at last brought
almost to an end, and we lay becalmed at the sea end
of the vast harbour of New York, in a gasping heat,
which was presently exchanged for a surprising waterfall
of rain. I stood on the poop, regarding the green
shores near at hand, and now and then the light smoke
of the little town, our destination. And as I
was even then devising how to steal a march on my
familiar enemy, I was conscious of a shade of embarrassment
when he approached me with his hand extended.
“I am now to bid you farewell,”
said he, “and that for ever. For now you
go among my enemies, where all your former prejudices
will revive. I never yet failed to charm a person
when I wanted; even you, my good friend to
call you so for once even you have now a
very different portrait of me in your memory, and
one that you will never quite forget. The voyage
has not lasted long enough, or I should have wrote
the impression deeper. But now all is at an end,
and we are again at war. Judge by this little
interlude how dangerous I am; and tell those fools” pointing
with his finger to the town “to think
twice and thrice before they set me at defiance.”