If a philosopher, learned in the human
mind as Flamsteed in the courses of the stars or the
great Newton in the laws of external nature, were to
take one possessed by a strong passion of love or a
bitter grief, or what overpowering emotion you will,
and were to consider impartially and with cold precision
what share of his time was in reality occupied by
the thing which, as we are in the habit of saying,
filled his thoughts or swayed his life or mastered
his intellect, the world might well smile (and to
my thinking had better smile than weep) at the issue
of the investigation. When the first brief shock
was gone, how few out of the solid twenty-four would
be the hours claimed by the despot, however much the
poets might call him insatiable. There is sleeping,
and meat and drink, the putting on and off of raiment
and the buying of it. If a man be of sound body,
there is his sport; if he be sane, there are the interests
of this life and provision for the next. And if
he be young, there is nature’s own joy in living,
which with a patient scornful smile sets aside his
protest that he is vowed to misery, and makes him,
willy-nilly, laugh and sing. So that, if he do
not drown himself in a week and thereby balk the inquiry,
it is odds that he will compose himself in a month,
and by the end of a year will carry no more marks of
his misfortune than (if he be a man of good heart)
an added sobriety and tenderness of spirit. Yet
all this does not hinder the thing from returning,
on occasion given.
In my own case and, if
my story be followed to its close, I am persuaded
that I shall not be held to be one who took the disease
of love more lightly than my fellows this
process of convalescence, most salutary, yet in a
sense humiliating, was aided by a train of circumstances,
in which my mother saw the favour of Heaven to our
family and the Vicar the working of Betty Nasroth’s
prophecy. An uncle of my mother’s had some
forty years ago established a manufactory of wool at
Norwich, and having kept always before his eyes the
truth that men must be clothed, howsoever they may
think on matters of Church and State, and that it
is a cloth-weaver’s business to clothe them and
not to think for them, had lived a quiet life through
all the disturbances and had prospered greatly in
his trade. For marriage either time or inclination
had failed him, and, being now an old man, he felt
a favourable disposition towards me, and declared
the intention of making me heir to a considerable
portion of his fortune provided that I showed myself
worthy of such kindness. The proof he asked was
not beyond reason, though I found cause for great
lamentation in it; for it was that, in lieu of seeking
to get to London, I should go to Norwich and live there
with him, to solace his last years and, although not
engaged in his trade, learn by observation something
of the serious occupations of life and of the condition
of my fellow-men, of which things young gentlemen,
said he, were for the most part sadly ignorant.
Indeed, they were, and they thought no better of a
companion for being wiser; to do anything or know
anything that might redound to the benefit of man or
the honour of God was not the mode in those days.
Nor do I say that the fashion has changed greatly,
no, nor that it will change. Therefore to Norwich
I went, although reluctantly, and there I stayed fully
three years, applying myself to the comforting of
my uncle’s old age, and consoling my leisure
with the diversions which that great and important
city afforded, and which, indeed, were enough for
any rational mind. But reason and youth are bad
bedfellows, and all the while I was like the Israelites
in the wilderness; my thoughts were set upon the Promised
Land and I endured my probation hardly. To this
mood I set down the fact that little of my life at
Norwich lives in my memory, and to that little I seldom
recur in thought; the time before it and the time after
engross my backward glances. The end came with
my uncle’s death, whereat I, the recipient of
great kindness from him, sincerely grieved, and that
with some remorse, since I had caused him sorrow by
refusing to take up his occupation as my own, preferring
my liberty and a moderate endowment to all his fortune
saddled with the condition of passing my days as a
cloth-weaver. Had I chosen otherwise, I should
have lived a more peaceful and died a richer man.
Yet I do not repent; not riches nor peace, but the
stir of the blood, the work of the hand, and the service
of the brain make a life that a man can look back on
without shame and with delight.
I was nearing my twenty-second birthday
when I returned to Hatchstead with an air and manner,
I doubt not, sadly provincial, but with a lining to
my pocket for whose sake many a gallant would have
surrendered some of his plumes and feathers.
Three thousand pounds, invested in my uncle’s
business and returning good and punctual profit made
of Simon Dale a person of far greater importance in
the eyes of his family than he had been three years
ago. It was a competence on which a gentleman
could live with discretion and modesty, it was a step
from which his foot could rise higher on life’s
ladder. London was in my power, all it held of
promise and possibility was not beyond the flight of
my soaring mind. My sisters exchanged sharp admonitions
for admiring deference, and my mother feared nothing
save that the great place to which I was now surely
destined might impair the homely virtues which she
had instilled into me. As for the Vicar, he stroked
his nose and glanced at me with an eye which spoke
so plainly of Betty Nasroth that I fell to laughing
heartily.
Thus, being in great danger of self-exaltation,
I took the best medicine that I could although
by no means with intention in waiting on
my lord Quinton, who was then residing at the Manor.
Here my swelled spirit was smartly pricked, and sank
soon to its true proportions. I was no great
man here, and although my lord received me very kindly,
he had less to say on the richness of my fortune than
on the faults of my manner and the rustic air of my
attire. Yet he bade me go to London, since there
a man, rubbing shoulders with all the world, learnt
to appraise his own value, and lost the ignorant conceit
of himself that a village greatness is apt to breed.
Somewhat crestfallen, I thanked him for his kindness,
and made bold to ask after Mistress Barbara.
“She is well enough,”
he answered, smiling. “And she is become
a great lady. The wits make epigrams on her,
and the fools address verses to her. But she’s
a good girl, Simon.”
“I’m sure of it, my lord,” I cried.
“He’s a bold man who would
be sure of it concerning anyone nowadays,” he
said dryly. “Yet so, thank God, it is.
See, here’s a copy of the verses she had lately,”
and he flung me the paper. I glanced over it and
saw much about “dazzling ice,” “unmelting
snow,” “Venus,” “Diana,”
and so forth.
“It seems sad stuff, my lord,” said I.
“Why, yes,” he laughed;
“but it is by a gentle man of repute. Take
care you write none worse, Simon.”
“Shall I have the honour of
waiting on Mistress Barbara, my lord?” I asked.
“As to that, Simon, we will
see when you come. Yes, we must see what company
you keep. For example, on whom else do you think
of waiting when you are set up in London?”
He looked steadily at me, a slight
frown on his brow, yet a smile, and not an unkind
one, on his lips. I grew hot, and knew that I
grew red also.
“I am acquainted with few in
London, my lord,” I stammered, “and with
those not well.”
“Those not well, indeed,”
he echoed, the pucker deepening and the smile vanishing.
Yet the smile came again as he rose and clapped me
on the shoulder.
“You’re an honest lad,
Simon,” he said, “even though it may have
pleased God to make you a silly one. And, by
Heaven, who would have all lads wise? Go to London,
learn to know more folk, learn to know better those
whom you know. Bear yourself as a gentleman, and
remember, Simon, whatsoever else the King may be,
yet he is the King.”
Saying this with much emphasis, he
led me gently to the door.
“Why did he say that about the
King?” I pondered as I walked homeward through
the park; for although what we all, even in the country,
knew of the King gave warrant enough for the words,
my lord had seemed to speak them to me with some special
meaning, and as though they concerned me more than
most men. Yet what, if I left aside Betty’s
foolish talk, as my lord surely did, had I to do with
the King, or with what he might be besides the King?
About this time much stir had been
aroused in the country by the dismissal from all his
offices of that great Minister and accomplished writer,
the Earl of Clarendon, and by the further measures
which his enemies threatened against him. The
village elders were wont to assemble on the days when
the post came in and discuss eagerly the news brought
from London. The affairs of Government troubled
my head very little, but in sheer idleness I used
often to join them, wondering to see them so perturbed
at the happening of things which made mighty little
difference in our retired corner. Thus I was
in the midst of them, at the King and Crown Tavern,
on the Green, two days after I had talked with my lord
Quinton. I sat with a mug of ale before me, engrossed
in my own thoughts and paying little heed to what
passed, when, to my amazement, the postman, leaping
from his horse, came straight across to me, holding
out in his hand a large packet of important appearance.
To receive a letter was a rare event in my life, and
a rarer followed, setting the cap on my surprise.
For the man, though he was fully ready to drink my
health, demanded no money for the letter, saying that
it came on the service of His Majesty and was not
chargeable. He spoke low enough, and there was
a babble about, but it seemed as though the name of
the King made its way through all the hubbub to the
Vicar’s ears; for he rose instantly, and, stepping
to my side, sat down by me, crying,
“What said he of the King, Simon?”
“Why, he said,” I answered,
“that this great letter comes to me on the King’s
service, and that I have nothing to pay for it,”
and I turned it over and over in my hands. But
the inscription was plain enough. “To Master
Simon Dale, Esquire, at Hatchstead, by Hatfield.”
By this time half the company was
round us, and my Lord Clarendon well-nigh forgotten.
Small things near are greater than great things afar,
and at Hatchstead my affairs were of more moment than
the fall of a Chancellor or the King’s choice
of new Ministers. A cry arose that I should open
my packet and disclose what it contained.
“Nay,” said the Vicar,
with an air of importance, “it may be on a private
matter that the King writes.”
They would have believed that of my
lord at the Manor, they could not of Simon Dale.
The Vicar met their laughter bravely.
“But the King and Simon are
to have private matters between them one day,”
he cried, shaking his fist at the mockers, himself
half in mockery.
Meanwhile I opened my packet and read.
To this day the amazement its contents bred in me
is fresh. For the purport was that the King,
remembering my father’s services to the King’s
father (and forgetting, as it seemed, those done to
General Cromwell), and being informed of my own loyal
disposition, courage, and good parts, had been graciously
pleased to name me to a commission in His Majesty’s
Regiment of Life Guards, such commission being post-dated
six months from the day of writing, in order that
Mr Dale should have the leisure to inform himself
of his duties and fit himself for his post; to which
end it was the King’s further pleasure that
Mr Dale should present himself, bringing this same
letter with him, without delay at Whitehall, and there
be instructed in his drill and in all other matters
necessary for him to know. Thus the letter ended,
with a commendation of me to the care of the Almighty.
I sat, gasping; the gossips gaped
round me; the Vicar seemed stunned. At last somebody
grumbled,
“I do not love these Guards.
What need of guard has the King except in the love
of his subjects?”
“So his father found, did he?”
cried the Vicar, an aflame in a moment.
“The Life Guards!” I murmured.
“It is the first regiment of all in honour.”
“Ay, my lad,” said the
Vicar. “It would have been well enough for
you to serve in the ranks of it, but to hold His Majesty’s
Commission!” Words failed him, and he flew to
the landlord’s snuff-box, which that good man,
moved by subtle sympathy, held out, pat to the occasion.
Suddenly those words of my lord’s
that had at the time of their utterance caught my
attention so strongly flashed into my mind, seeming
now to find their explanation. If there were fault
to be found in the King, it did not lie with his own
servants and officers to find it; I was now of his
household; my lord must have known what was on the
way to me from London when he addressed me so pointedly;
and he could know only because he had himself been
the mover in the matter. I sprang up and ran
across to the Vicar, crying,
“Why, it is my lord’s kindness! He
has spoken for me.”
“Ay, ay, it is my lord,”
was grunted and nodded round the circle in the satisfaction
of a discovery obvious so soon as made. The Vicar
alone dissented; he took another pinch and wagged
his head petulantly.
“I don’t think it’s my lord,”
said he.
“But why not, sir, and who else?” I urged.
“I don’t know, but I do not think it is
my lord,” he persisted.
Then I laughed at him, and he understood
well that I mocked his dislike of a plain-sailing
everyday account of anything to which it might be
possible by hook or crook to attach a tag of mystery.
He had harped back to the prophecy, and would not
have my lord come between him and his hobby.
“You may laugh, Simon,”
said he gravely. “But it will be found to
be as I say.”
I paid no more heed to him, but caught
up my hat from the bench, crying that I must run at
once and offer thanks to my lord, for he was to set
out for London that day, and would be gone if I did
not hasten.
“At least,” conceded the
Vicar, “you will do no harm by telling him.
He will wonder as much as we.”
Laughing again, I ran off and left
the company crowding to a man round the stubborn Vicar.
It was well indeed that I did not linger, for, having
come to the Manor at my best speed, I found my lord’s
coach already at the door and himself in cloak and
hat about to step into it. But he waited to hear
my breathless story, and, when I came to the pith
of it, snatched my letter from my hand and read it
eagerly. At first I thought he was playing a
part and meant only to deny his kindness or delay
the confession of it. His manner soon undeceived
me; he was in truth amazed, as the Vicar had predicted,
but more than that, he was, if I read his face aright,
sorely displeased also; for a heavy frown gathered
on his brow, and he walked with me in utter silence
the better half of the length of the terrace.
“I have nothing to do with it,”
he said bitterly. “I and my family have
done the King and his too much service to have the
giving away of favours. Kings do not love their
creditors, no, nor pay them.”
“But, my lord, I can think of
no other friend who would have such power.”
“Can’t you?” he
asked, stopping and laying his hand on my shoulder.
“May be, Simon, you don’t understand how
power is come by in these days, nor what are the titles
to the King’s confidence.”
His words and manner dashed my new
pride, and I suppose my face grew glum, for he went
on more gently,
“Nay, lad, since it comes, take
it without question. Whatever the source of it,
your own conduct may make it an honour.”
But I could not be content with that.
“The letter says,” I remarked,
“that the King is mindful of my father’s
services.”
“I had thought that the age
of miracles was past,” smiled my lord.
“Perhaps it is not, Simon.”
“Then if it be not for my father’s
sake nor for yours, my lord, I am at a loss,”
and I stuffed the letter into my pocket very peevishly.
“I must be on my way,”
said my lord, turning towards the coach. “Let
me hear from you when you come, Simon; and I suppose
you will come soon now. You will find me at my
house in Southampton Square, and my lady will be glad
of your company.”
I thanked him for his civility, but
my face was still clouded. He had seemed to suspect
and hint at some taint in the fountain of honour that
had so unexpectedly flowed forth.
“I can’t tell what to make of it,”
I cried.
He stopped again, as he was about
to set his foot on the step of his coach, and turned,
facing me squarely.
“There’s no other friend
at all in London, Simon?” he asked. Again
I grew red, as he stood watching me. “Is
there not one other?”
I collected myself as well as I could and answered,
“One that would give me a commission
in the Life Guards, my lord?” And I laughed
in scorn.
My lord shrugged his shoulders and
mounted into the coach. I closed the door behind
him, and stood waiting his reply. He leant forward
and spoke across me to the lackey behind, saying,
“Go on, go on.”
“What do you mean, my lord?”
I cried. He smiled, but did not speak. The
coach began to move; I had to walk to keep my place,
soon I should have to run.
“My lord,” I cried, “how could she ?”
My lord took out his snuff-box, and opened it.
“Nay, I cannot tell how,” said he, as
he carried his thumb to his nose.
“My lord,” I cried, running now, “do
you know who Cydaria is?”
My lord looked at me, as I ran panting.
Soon I should have to give in, for the horses made
merry play down the avenue. He seemed to wait
for the last moment of my endurance, before he answered.
Then, waving his hand at the window, he said, “All
London knows.” And with that he shut the
window, and I fell back breathless, amazed, and miserably
chagrined. For he had told me nothing of all
that I desired to know, and what he had told me did
no more than inflame my curiosity most unbearably.
Yet, if it were true, this mysterious lady, known
to all London, had remembered Simon Dale! A man
of seventy would have been moved by such a thing;
what wonder that a boy of twenty-two should run half
mad with it?
Strange to say, it seemed to the Vicar’s
mind no more unlikely and infinitely more pleasant
that the King’s favour should be bound up with
the lady we had called Cydaria than that it should
be the plain fruit of my lord’s friendly offices.
Presently his talk infected me with something of the
same spirit, and we fell to speculating on the identity
of this lady, supposing in our innocence that she must
be of very exalted rank and noble station if indeed
all London knew her, and she had a voice in the appointment
of gentlemen to bear His Majesty’s Commission.
It was but a step farther to discern for me a most
notable career, wherein the prophecy of Betty Nasroth
should find fulfilment and prove the link that bound
together a chain of strange fortune and high achievement.
Thus our evening wore away and with it my vexation.
Now I was all eager to be gone, to set my hand to
my work, to try Fate’s promises, and to learn
that piece of knowledge which all London had the
true name of her whom we called Cydaria.
“Still,” said the Vicar,
falling into a sudden pensiveness as I rose to take
my leave, “there are things above fortune’s
favour, or a King’s, or a great lady’s.
To those cling, Simon, for your name’s sake and
for my credit, who taught you.”
“True, sir,” said I in
perfunctory acknowledgment, but with errant thoughts.
“I trust, sir, that I shall always bear myself
as becomes a gentleman.”
“And a Christian,” he added mildly.
“Ay, sir, and a Christian,” I agreed readily
enough.
“Go your way,” he said,
with a little smile. “I preach to ears that
are full now of other and louder sounds, of strains
more attractive and melodies more alluring. Therefore,
now, you cannot listen; nay, I know that, if you could,
you would. Yet it may be that some day if
it be God’s will, soon the strings
that I feebly strike may sound loud and clear, so
that you must hear, however sweetly that other music
charms your senses. And if you hear, Simon, heed;
if you hear, heed.”
Thus, with his blessing, I left him.
He followed me to the door, with a smile on his lips
but anxiety in his eyes. I went on my way, never
looking back. For my ears were indeed filled with
that strange and enchanting music.