[Being an extract from
the singular journal of John
M’ALISTER ray,
student of medicine.]
September 11th. La
degrees 40’ N.; lon degrees E. Still lying-to
amid enormous ice fields. The one which stretches
away to the north of us, and to which our ice-anchor
is attached, cannot be smaller than an English county.
To the right and left unbroken sheets extend to the
horizon. This morning the mate reported that there
were signs of pack ice to the southward. Should
this form of sufficient thickness to bar our return,
we shall be in a position of danger, as the food, I
hear, is already running somewhat short. It is
late in the season, and the nights are beginning to
reappear.
This morning I saw a star twinkling
just over the fore-yard, the first since the beginning
of May. There is considerable discontent among
the crew, many of whom are anxious to get back home
to be in time for the herring season, when labour
always commands a high price upon the Scotch coast.
As yet their displeasure is only signified by sullen
countenances and black looks, but I heard from the
second mate this afternoon that they contemplated
sending a deputation to the Captain to explain their
grievance. I much doubt how he will receive it,
as he is a man of fierce temper, and very sensitive
about anything approaching to an infringement of his
rights. I shall venture after dinner to say a
few words to him upon the subject. I have always
found that he will tolerate from me what he would
resent from any other member of the crew. Amsterdam
Island, at the north-west corner of Spitzbergen, is
visible upon our starboard quarter a rugged
line of volcanic rocks, intersected by white seams,
which represent glaciers. It is curious to think
that at the present moment there is probably no human
being nearer to us than the Danish settlements in
the south of Greenland a good nine hundred
miles as the crow flies. A captain takes a great
responsibility upon himself when he risks his vessel
under such circumstances. No whaler has ever remained
in these latitudes till so advanced a period of the
year.
9 P.M, I have spoken to
Captain Craigie, and though the result has been hardly
satisfactory, I am bound to say that he listened to
what I had to say very quietly and even deferentially.
When I had finished he put on that air of iron determination
which I have frequently observed upon his face, and
paced rapidly backwards and forwards across the narrow
cabin for some minutes. At first I feared that
I had seriously offended him, but he dispelled the
idea by sitting down again, and putting his hand upon
my arm with a gesture which almost amounted to a caress.
There was a depth of tenderness too in his wild dark
eyes which surprised me considerably. “Look
here, Doctor,” he said, “I’m sorry
I ever took you I am indeed and
I would give fifty pounds this minute to see you standing
safe upon the Dundee quay. It’s hit or miss
with me this time. There are fish to the north
of us. How dare you shake your head, sir, when
I tell you I saw them blowing from the masthead?” this
in a sudden burst of fury, though I was not conscious
of having shown any signs of doubt. “Two-and-twenty
fish in as many minutes as I am a living man, and
not one under ten foot. Now, Doctor, do you think
I can leave the country when there is only one infernal
strip of ice between me and my fortune? If it
came on to blow from the north to-morrow we could fill
the ship and be away before the frost could catch us.
If it came on to blow from the south well,
I suppose the men are paid for risking their lives,
and as for myself it matters but little to me, for
I have more to bind me to the other world than to
this one. I confess that I am sorry for you,
though. I wish I had old Angus Tait who was with
me last voyage, for he was a man that would never
be missed, and you you said once that you
were engaged, did you not?”
“Yes,” I answered, snapping
the spring of the locket which hung from my watch-chain,
and holding up the little vignette of Flora.
“Curse you!” he yelled,
springing out of his seat, with his very beard bristling
with passion. “What is your happiness to
me? What have I to do with her that you must
dangle her photograph before my eyes?” I almost
thought that he was about to strike me in the frenzy
of his rage, but with another imprecation he dashed
open the door of the cabin and rushed out upon deck,
leaving me considerably astonished at his extraordinary
violence. It is the first time that he has ever
shown me anything but courtesy and kindness.
I can hear him pacing excitedly up and down overhead
as I write these lines.
I should like to give a sketch of
the character of this man, but it seems presumptuous
to attempt such a thing upon paper, when the idea in
my own mind is at best a vague and uncertain one.
Several times I have thought that I grasped the clue
which might explain it, but only to be disappointed
by his presenting himself in some new light which would
upset all my conclusions. It may be that no human
eye but my own shall ever rest upon these lines, yet
as a psychological study I shall attempt to leave
some record of Captain Nicholas Craigie.
A man’s outer case generally
gives some indication of the soul within. The
Captain is tall and well-formed, with dark, handsome
face, and a curious way of twitching his limbs, which
may arise from nervousness, or be simply an outcome
of his excessive energy. His jaw and whole cast
of countenance is manly and resolute, but the eyes
are the distinctive feature of his face. They
are of the very darkest hazel, bright and eager, with
a singular mixture of recklessness in their expression,
and of something else which I have sometimes thought
was more allied with horror than any other emotion.
Generally the former predominated, but on occasions,
and more particularly when he was thoughtfully inclined,
the look of fear would spread and deepen until it
imparted a new character to his whole countenance.
It is at these times that he is most subject to tempestuous
fits of anger, and he seems to be aware of it, for
I have known him lock himself up so that no one might
approach him until his dark hour was passed.
He sleeps badly, and I have heard him shouting during
the night, but his cabin is some little distance from
mine, and I could never distinguish the words which
he said.
This is one phase of his character,
and the most disagreeable one. It is only through
my close association with him, thrown together as we
are day after day, that I have observed it. Otherwise
he is an agreeable companion, well-read and entertaining,
and as gallant a seaman as ever trod a deck.
I shall not easily forget the way in which he handled
the ship when we were caught by a gale among the loose
ice at the beginning of April. I have never seen
him so cheerful, and even hilarious, as he was that
night, as he paced backwards and forwards upon the
bridge amid the flashing of the lightning and the
howling of the wind. He has told me several times
that the thought of death was a pleasant one to him,
which is a sad thing for a young man to say; he cannot
be much more than thirty, though his hair and moustache
are already slightly grizzled. Some great sorrow
must have overtaken him and blighted his whole life.
Perhaps I should be the same if I lost my Flora God
knows! I think if it were not for her that I
should care very little whether the wind blew from
the north or the south to-morrow.
There, I hear him come down the companion,
and he has locked himself up in his room, which shows
that he is still in an unamiable mood. And so
to bed, as old Pepys would say, for the candle is burning
down (we have to use them now since the nights are
closing in), and the steward has turned in, so there
are no hopes of another one.
September 12th. Calm, clear
day, and still lying in the same position. What
wind there is comes from the south-east, but it is
very slight. Captain is in a better humour, and
apologised to me at breakfast for his rudeness.
He still looks somewhat distrait, however, and retains
that wild look in his eyes which in a Highlander would
mean that he was “fey” at least
so our chief engineer remarked to me, and he has some
reputation among the Celtic portion of our crew as
a seer and expounder of omens.
It is strange that superstition should
have obtained such mastery over this hard-headed and
practical race. I could not have believed to what
an extent it is carried had I not observed it for myself.
We have had a perfect epidemic of it this voyage,
until I have felt inclined to serve out rations of
sedatives and nerve-tonics with the Saturday allowance
of grog. The first symptom of it was that shortly
after leaving Shetland the men at the wheel used to
complain that they heard plaintive cries and screams
in the wake of the ship, as if something were following
it and were unable to overtake it. This fiction
has been kept up during the whole voyage, and on dark
nights at the beginning of the seal-fishing it was
only with great difficulty that men could be induced
to do their spell. No doubt what they heard was
either the creaking of the rudder-chains, or the cry
of some passing sea-bird. I have been fetched
out of bed several times to listen to it, but I need
hardly say that I was never able to distinguish anything
unnatural.
The men, however, are so absurdly
positive upon the subject that it is hopeless to argue
with them. I mentioned the matter to the Captain
once, but to my surprise he took it very gravely,
and indeed appeared to be considerably disturbed by
what I told him. I should have thought that he
at least would have been above such vulgar delusions.
All this disquisition upon superstition
leads me up to the fact that Mr. Manson, our second
mate, saw a ghost last night or, at least,
says that he did, which of course is the same thing.
It is quite refreshing to have some new topic of conversation
after the eternal routine of bears and whales which
has served us for so many months. Manson swears
the ship is haunted, and that he would not stay in
her a day if he had any other place to go to.
Indeed the fellow is honestly frightened, and I had
to give him some chloral and bromide of potassium this
morning to steady him down. He seemed quite indignant
when I suggested that he had been having an extra
glass the night before, and I was obliged to pacify
him by keeping as grave a countenance as possible during
his story, which he certainly narrated in a very straight-forward
and matter-of-fact way.
“I was on the bridge,”
he said, “about four bells in the middle watch,
just when the night was at its darkest. There
was a bit of a moon, but the clouds were blowing across
it so that you couldn’t see far from the ship.
John M’Leod, the harpooner, came aft from the
foc’sle-head and reported a strange noise on
the starboard bow.
“I went forrard and we both
heard it, sometimes like a bairn crying and sometimes
like a wench in pain. I’ve been seventeen
years to the country and I never heard seal, old or
young, make a sound like that. As we were standing
there on the foc’sle-head the moon came out from
behind a cloud, and we both saw a sort of white figure
moving across the ice field in the same direction
that we had heard the cries. We lost sight of
it for a while, but it came back on the port bow, and
we could just make it out like a shadow on the ice.
I sent a hand aft for the rifles, and M’Leod
and I went down on to the pack, thinking that maybe
it might be a bear. When we got on the ice I
lost sight of M’Leod, but I pushed on in the
direction where I could still hear the cries.
I followed them for a mile or maybe more, and then
running round a hummock I came right on to the top
of it standing and waiting for me seemingly. I
don’t know what it was. It wasn’t
a bear any way. It was tall and white and straight,
and if it wasn’t a man nor a woman, I’ll
stake my davy it was something worse. I made
for the ship as hard as I could run, and precious
glad I was to find myself aboard. I signed articles
to do my duty by the ship, and on the ship I’ll
stay, but you don’t catch me on the ice again
after sundown.”
That is his story, given as far as
I can in his own words. I fancy what he saw must,
in spite of his denial, have been a young bear erect
upon its hind legs, an attitude which they often assume
when alarmed. In the uncertain light this would
bear a resemblance to a human figure, especially to
a man whose nerves were already somewhat shaken.
Whatever it may have been, the occurrence is unfortunate,
for it has produced a most unpleasant effect upon
the crew. Their looks are more sullen than before,
and their discontent more open. The double grievance
of being debarred from the herring fishing and of
being detained in what they choose to call a haunted
vessel, may lead them to do something rash. Even
the harpooners, who are the oldest and steadiest among
them, are joining in the general agitation.
Apart from this absurd outbreak of
superstition, things are looking rather more cheerful.
The pack which was forming to the south of us has
partly cleared away, and the water is so warm as to
lead me to believe that we are lying in one of those
branches of the gulf-stream which run up between Greenland
and Spitzbergen. There are numerous small Medusse
and sealemons about the ship, with abundance of shrimps,
so that there is every possibility of “fish”
being sighted. Indeed one was seen blowing about
dinner-time, but in such a position that it was impossible
for the boats to follow it.
September 13th. Had an
interesting conversation with the chief mate, Mr.
Milne, upon the bridge. It seems that our Captain
is as great an enigma to the seamen, and even to the
owners of the vessel, as he has been to me. Mr.
Milne tells me that when the ship is paid off, upon
returning from a voyage, Captain Craigie disappears,
and is not seen again until the approach of another
season, when he walks quietly into the office of the
company, and asks whether his services will be required.
He has no friend in Dundee, nor does any one pretend
to be acquainted with his early history. His
position depends entirely upon his skill as a seaman,
and the name for courage and coolness which he had
earned in the capacity of mate, before being entrusted
with a separate command. The unanimous opinion
seems to be that he is not a Scotchman, and that his
name is an assumed one. Mr. Milne thinks that
he has devoted himself to whaling simply for the reason
that it is the most dangerous occupation which he
could select, and that he courts death in every possible
manner. He mentioned several instances of this,
one of which is rather curious, if true. It seems
that on one occasion he did not put in an appearance
at the office, and a substitute had to be selected
in his place. That was at the time of the last
Russian and Turkish war. When he turned up again
next spring he had a puckered wound in the side of
his neck which he used to endeavour to conceal with
his cravat. Whether the mate’s inference
that he had been engaged in the war is true or not
I cannot say. It was certainly a strange coincidence.
The wind is veering round in an easterly
direction, but is still very slight. I think
the ice is lying closer than it did yesterday.
As far as the eye can reach on every side there is
one wide expanse of spotless white, only broken by
an occasional rift or the dark shadow of a hummock.
To the south there is the narrow lane of blue water
which is our sole means of escape, and which is closing
up every day. The Captain is taking a heavy responsibility
upon himself. I hear that the tank of potatoes
has been finished, and even the biscuits are running
short, but he preserves the same impassible countenance,
and spends the greater part of the day at the crow’s
nest, sweeping the horizon with his glass. His
manner is very variable, and he seems to avoid my society,
but there has been no repetition of the violence which
he showed the other night.
7.30 P.M. My deliberate
opinion is that we are commanded by a madman.
Nothing else can account for the extraordinary vagaries
of Captain Craigie. It is fortunate that I have
kept this journal of our voyage, as it will serve
to justify us in case we have to put him under any
sort of restraint, a step which I should only consent
to as a last resource. Curiously enough it was
he himself who suggested lunacy and not mere eccentricity
as the secret of his strange conduct. He was standing
upon the bridge about an hour ago, peering as usual
through his glass, while I was walking up and down
the quarterdeck. The majority of the men were
below at their tea, for the watches have not been regularly
kept of late. Tired of walking, I leaned against
the bulwarks, and admired the mellow glow cast by
the sinking sun upon the great ice fields which surround
us. I was suddenly aroused from the reverie into
which I had fallen by a hoarse voice at my elbow,
and starting round I found that the Captain had descended
and was standing by my side. He was staring out
over the ice with an expression in which horror, surprise,
and something approaching to joy were contending for
the mastery. In spite of the cold, great drops
of perspiration were coursing down his forehead, and
he was evidently fearfully excited.
His limbs twitched like those of a
man upon the verge of an epileptic fit, and the lines
about his mouth were drawn and hard.
“Look!” he gasped, seizing
me by the wrist, but still keeping his eyes upon the
distant ice, and moving his head slowly in a horizontal
direction, as if following some object which was moving
across the field of vision. “Look!
There, man, there! Between the hummocks!
Now coming out from behind the far one! You see
her you must see her! There still!
Flying from me, by God, flying from me and
gone!”
He uttered the last two words in a
whisper of concentrated agony which shall never fade
from my remembrance. Clinging to the ratlines
he endeavoured to climb up upon the top of the bulwarks
as if in the hope of obtaining a last glance at the
departing object. His strength was not equal
to the attempt, however, and he staggered back against
the saloon skylights, where he leaned panting and
exhausted. His face was so livid that I expected
him to become unconscious, so lost no time in leading
him down the companion, and stretching him upon one
of the sofas in the cabin. I then poured him
out some brandy, which I held to his lips, and which
had a wonderful effect upon him, bringing the blood
back into his white face and steadying his poor shaking
limbs. He raised himself up upon his elbow, and
looking round to see that we were alone, he beckoned
to me to come and sit beside him.
“You saw it, didn’t you?”
he asked, still in the same subdued awesome tone so
foreign to the nature of the man.
“No, I saw nothing.”
His head sank back again upon the
cushions. “No, he wouldn’t without
the glass,” he murmured. “He couldn’t.
It was the glass that showed her to me, and then the
eyes of love the eyes of love.
“I say, Doc, don’t let
the steward in! He’ll think I’m mad.
Just bolt the door, will you!”
I rose and did what he had commanded.
He lay quiet for a while, lost in
thought apparently, and then raised himself up upon
his elbow again, and asked for some more brandy.
“You don’t think I am,
do you, Doc?” he asked, as I was putting the
bottle back into the after-locker. “Tell
me now, as man to man, do you think that I am mad?”
“I think you have something
on your mind,” I answered, “which is exciting
you and doing you a good deal of harm.”
“Right there, lad!” he
cried, his eyes sparkling from the effects of the
brandy. “Plenty on my mind plenty!
But I can work out the latitude and the longitude,
and I can handle my sextant and manage my logarithms.
You couldn’t prove me mad in a court of law,
could you, now?” It was curious to hear the
man lying back and coolly arguing out the question
of his own sanity.
“Perhaps not,” I said;
“but still I think you would be wise to get home
as soon as you can, and settle down to a quiet life
for a while.”
“Get home, eh?” he muttered,
with a sneer upon his face. “One word for
me and two for yourself, lad. Settle down with
Flora pretty little Flora. Are bad
dreams signs of madness?”
“Sometimes,” I answered.
“What else? What would be the first symptoms?”
“Pains in the head, noises in
the ears flashes before the eyes, delusions”
“Ah! what about them?” he interrupted.
“What would you call a delusion?”
“Seeing a thing which is not there is a delusion.”
“But she was there!”
he groaned to himself. “She was there!”
and rising, he unbolted the door and walked with slow
and uncertain steps to his own cabin, where I have
no doubt that he will remain until to-morrow morning.
His system seems to have received a terrible shock,
whatever it may have been that he imagined himself
to have seen. The man becomes a greater mystery
every day, though I fear that the solution which he
has himself suggested is the correct one, and that
his reason is affected. I do not think that a
guilty conscience has anything to do with his behaviour.
The idea is a popular one among the officers, and,
I believe, the crew; but I have seen nothing to support
it. He has not the air of a guilty man, but of
one who has had terrible usage at the hands of fortune,
and who should be regarded as a martyr rather than
a criminal.
The wind is veering round to the south
to-night. God help us if it blocks that narrow
pass which is our only road to safety! Situated
as we are on the edge of the main Arctic pack, or
the “barrier” as it is called by the whalers,
any wind from the north has the effect of shredding
out the ice around us and allowing our escape, while
a wind from the south blows up all the loose ice behind
us and hems us in between two packs. God help
us, I say again!
September 14th. Sunday,
and a day of rest. My fears have been confirmed,
and the thin strip of blue water has disappeared from
the southward. Nothing but the great motionless
ice fields around us, with their weird hummocks and
fantastic pinnacles. There is a deathly silence
over their wide expanse which is horrible. No
lapping of the waves now, no cries of seagulls or
straining of sails, but one deep universal silence
in which the murmurs of the seamen, and the creak of
their boots upon the white shining deck, seem discordant
and out of place. Our only visitor was an Arctic
fox, a rare animal upon the pack, though common enough
upon the land. He did not come near the ship,
however, but after surveying us from a distance fled
rapidly across the ice. This was curious conduct,
as they generally know nothing of man, and being of
an inquisitive nature, become so familiar that they
are easily captured. Incredible as it may seem,
even this little incident produced a bad effect upon
the crew. “Yon puir beastie kens mair, ay,
an’ sees mair nor you nor me!” was the
comment of one of the leading harpooners, and the
others nodded their acquiescence. It is vain to
attempt to argue against such puerile superstition.
They have made up their minds that there is a curse
upon the ship, and nothing will ever persuade them
to the contrary.
The Captain remained in seclusion
all day except for about half an hour in the afternoon,
when he came out upon the quarterdeck. I observed
that he kept his eye fixed upon the spot where the
vision of yesterday had appeared, and was quite prepared
for another outburst, but none such came. He
did not seem to see me although I was standing close
beside him. Divine service was read as usual
by the chief engineer. It is a curious thing
that in whaling vessels the Church of England Prayer-book
is always employed, although there is never a member
of that Church among either officers or crew.
Our men are all Roman Catholics or Presbyterians,
the former predominating. Since a ritual is used
which is foreign to both, neither can complain that
the other is preferred to them, and they listen with
all attention and devotion, so that the system has
something to recommend it.
A glorious sunset, which made the
great fields of ice look like a lake of blood.
I have never seen a finer and at the same time more
weird effect. Wind is veering round. If
it will blow twenty-four hours from the north all
will yet be well.
September 15th. To-day
is Flora’s birthday. Dear lass! it is well
that she cannot see her boy, as she used to call me,
shut up among the ice fields with a crazy captain
and a few weeks’ provisions. No doubt she
scans the shipping list in the Scotsman every morning
to see if we are reported from Shetland. I have
to set an example to the men and look cheery and unconcerned;
but God knows, my heart is very heavy at times.
The thermometer is at nineteen Fahrenheit
to-day. There is but little wind, and what there
is comes from an unfavourable quarter. Captain
is in an excellent humour; I think he imagines he
has seen some other omen or vision, poor fellow, during
the night, for he came into my room early in the morning,
and stooping down over my bunk, whispered, “It
wasn’t a delusion, Doc; it’s all right!”
After breakfast he asked me to find out how much food
was left, which the second mate and I proceeded to
do. It is even less than we had expected.
Forward they have half a tank full of biscuits, three
barrels of salt meat, and a very limited supply of
coffee beans and sugar. In the after-hold and
lockers there are a good many luxuries, such as tinned
salmon, soups, haricot mutton, &c., but they will
go a very short way among a crew of fifty men.
There are two barrels of flour in the store-room,
and an unlimited supply of tobacco. Altogether
there is about enough to keep the men on half rations
for eighteen or twenty days certainly not
more. When we reported the state of things to
the Captain, he ordered all hands to be piped, and
addressed them from the quarterdeck. I never saw
him to better advantage. With his tall, well-knit
figure, and dark animated face, he seemed a man born
to command, and he discussed the situation in a cool
sailor-like way which showed that while appreciating
the danger he had an eye for every loophole of escape.
“My lads,” he said, “no
doubt you think I brought you into this fix, if it
is a fix, and maybe some of you feel bitter against
me on account of it. But you must remember that
for many a season no ship that comes to the country
has brought in as much oil-money as the old Pole-Star,
and every one of you has had his share of it.
You can leave your wives behind you in comfort while
other poor fellows come back to find their lasses
on the parish. If you have to thank me for the
one you have to thank me for the other, and we may
call it quits. We’ve tried a bold venture
before this and succeeded, so now that we’ve
tried one and failed we’ve no cause to cry out
about it. If the worst comes to the worst, we
can make the land across the ice, and lay in a stock
of seals which will keep us alive until the spring.
It won’t come to that, though, for you’ll
see the Scotch coast again before three weeks are
out. At present every man must go on half rations,
share and share alike, and no favour to any.
Keep up your hearts and you’ll pull through
this as you’ve pulled through many a danger before.”
These few simple words of his had a wonderful effect
upon the crew. His former unpopularity was forgotten,
and the old harpooner whom I have already mentioned
for his superstition, led off three cheers, which were
heartily joined in by all hands.
September 16th. The wind
has veered round to the north during the night, and
the ice shows some symptoms of opening out. The
men are in a good humour in spite of the short allowance
upon which they have been placed. Steam is kept
up in the engine-room, that there may be no delay
should an opportunity for escape present itself.
The Captain is in exuberant spirits, though he still
retains that wild “fey” expression which
I have already remarked upon. This burst of cheerfulness
puzzles me more than his former gloom. I cannot
understand it. I think I mentioned in an early
part of this journal that one of his oddities is that
he never permits any person to enter his cabin, but
insists upon making his own bed, such as it is, and
performing every other office for himself. To
my surprise he handed me the key to-day and requested
me to go down there and take the time by his chronometer
while he measured the altitude of the sun at noon.
It is a bare little room, containing a washing-stand
and a few books, but little else in the way of luxury,
except some pictures upon the walls. The majority
of these are small cheap oleographs, but there was
one water-colour sketch of the head of a young lady
which arrested my attention. It was evidently
a portrait, and not one of those fancy types of female
beauty which sailors particularly affect. No
artist could have evolved from his own mind such a
curious mixture of character and weakness. The
languid, dreamy eyes, with their drooping lashes,
and the broad, low brow, unruffled by thought or care,
were in strong contrast with the clean-cut, prominent
jaw, and the resolute set of the lower lip. Underneath
it in one of the corners was written, “M.
B., ae.” That any one in the short
space of nineteen years of existence could develop
such strength of will as was stamped upon her face
seemed to me at the time to be well-nigh incredible.
She must have been an extraordinary woman. Her
features have thrown such a glamour over me that,
though I had but a fleeting glance at them, I could,
were I a draughtsman, reproduce them line for line
upon this page of the journal. I wonder what
part she has played in our Captain’s life.
He has hung her picture at the end of his berth, so
that his eyes continually rest upon it. Were
he a less reserved man I should make some remark upon
the subject. Of the other things in his cabin
there was nothing worthy of mention uniform
coats, a camp-stool, small looking-glass, tobacco-box,
and numerous pipes, including an oriental hookah which,
by-the-bye, gives some colour to Mr. Milne’s
story about his participation in the war, though the
connection may seem rather a distant one.
11.20 P.M. Captain just
gone to bed after a long and interesting conversation
on general topics. When he chooses he can be a
most fascinating companion, being remarkably well-read,
and having the power of expressing his opinion forcibly
without appearing to be dogmatic. I hate to have
my intellectual toes trod upon. He spoke about
the nature of the soul, and sketched out the views
of Aristotle and Plato upon the subject in a masterly
manner. He seems to have a leaning for metempsychosis
and the doctrines of Pythagoras. In discussing
them we touched upon modern spiritualism, and I made
some joking allusion to the impostures of Slade,
upon which, to my surprise, he warned me most impressively
against confusing the innocent with the guilty, and
argued that it would be as logical to brand Christianity
as an error because Judas, who professed that religion,
was a villain. He shortly afterwards bade me
good-night and retired to his room.
The wind is freshening up, and blows
steadily from the north. The nights are as dark
now as they are in England. I hope to-morrow may
set us free from our frozen fetters.
September 17th. The Bogie
again. Thank Heaven that I have strong nerves!
The superstition of these poor fellows, and the circumstantial
accounts which they give, with the utmost earnestness
and self-conviction, would horrify any man not accustomed
to their ways. There are many versions of the
matter, but the sum-total of them all is that something
uncanny has been flitting round the ship all night,
and that Sandie M’Donald of Peterhead and “lang”
Peter Williamson of Shetland saw it, as also did Mr.
Milne on the bridge so, having three witnesses,
they can make a better case of it than the second mate
did. I spoke to Milne after breakfast, and told
him that he should be above such nonsense, and that
as an officer he ought to set the men a better example.
He shook his weatherbeaten head ominously, but answered
with characteristic caution, “Mebbe aye, mebbe
na, Doctor,” he said; “I didna
ca’ it a ghaist. I canna’ say
I preen my faith in sea-bogles an’ the like,
though there’s a mony as claims to ha’
seen a’ that and waur. I’m no easy
feared, but maybe your ain bluid would run a bit cauld,
mun, if instead o’ speerin’ aboot it in
daylicht ye were wi’ me last night, an’
seed an awfu’ like shape, white an’ gruesome,
whiles here, whiles there, an’ it greetin’
and ca’ing in the darkness like a bit lambie
that hae lost its mither. Ye would na’
be sae ready to put it a’ doon to auld wives’
clavers then, I’m thinkin’.”
I saw it was hopeless to reason with him, so contented
myself with begging him as a personal favour to call
me up the next time the spectre appeared a
request to which he acceded with many ejaculations
expressive of his hopes that such an opportunity might
never arise.
As I had hoped, the white desert behind
us has become broken by many thin streaks of water
which intersect it in all directions. Our latitude
to-day was 80 degrees 52’ N., which shows that
there is a strong southerly drift upon the pack.
Should the wind continue favourable it will break
up as rapidly as it formed. At present we can
do nothing but smoke and wait and hope for the best.
I am rapidly becoming a fatalist. When dealing
with such uncertain factors as wind and ice a man can
be nothing else. Perhaps it was the wind and
sand of the Arabian deserts which gave the minds of
the original followers of Mahomet their tendency to
bow to kismet.
These spectral alarms have a very
bad effect upon the Captain. I feared that it
might excite his sensitive mind, and endeavoured to
conceal the absurd story from him, but unfortunately
he overheard one of the men making an allusion to
it, and insisted upon being informed about it.
As I had expected, it brought out all his latent lunacy
in an exaggerated form. I can hardly believe
that this is the same man who discoursed philosophy
last night with the most critical acumen and coolest
judgment. He is pacing backwards and forwards
upon the quarterdeck like a caged tiger, stopping
now and again to throw out his hands with a yearning
gesture, and stare impatiently out over the ice.
He keeps up a continual mutter to himself, and once
he called out, “But a little time, love but
a little time!” Poor fellow, it is sad to see
a gallant seaman and accomplished gentleman reduced
to such a pass, and to think that imagination and
delusion can cow a mind to which real danger was but
the salt of life. Was ever a man in such a position
as I, between a demented captain and a ghost-seeing
mate? I sometimes think I am the only really
sane man aboard the vessel except perhaps
the second engineer, who is a kind of ruminant, and
would care nothing for all the fiends in the Red Sea
so long as they would leave him alone and not disarrange
his tools.
The ice is still opening rapidly,
and there is every probability of our being able to
make a start to-morrow morning. They will think
I am inventing when I tell them at home all the strange
things that have befallen me.
12 P.M. I have been a good
deal startled, though I feel steadier now, thanks
to a stiff glass of brandy. I am hardly myself
yet, however, as this handwriting will testify.
The fact is, that I have gone through a very strange
experience, and am beginning to doubt whether I was
justified in branding every one on board as madmen
because they professed to have seen things which did
not seem reasonable to my understanding. Pshaw!
I am a fool to let such a trifle unnerve me; and yet,
coming as it does after all these alarms, it has an
additional significance, for I cannot doubt either
Mr. Manson’s story or that of the mate, now
that I have experienced that which I used formerly
to scoff at.
After all it was nothing very alarming a
mere sound, and that was all. I cannot expect
that any one reading this, if any one ever should read
it, will sympathise with my feelings, or realise the
effect which it produced upon me at the time.
Supper was over, and I had gone on deck to have a
quiet pipe before turning in. The night was very
dark so dark that, standing under the quarter-boat,
I was unable to see the officer upon the bridge.
I think I have already mentioned the extraordinary
silence which prevails in these frozen seas. In
other parts of the world, be they ever so barren,
there is some slight vibration of the air some
faint hum, be it from the distant haunts of men, or
from the leaves of the trees, or the wings of the
birds, or even the faint rustle of the grass that
covers the ground. One may not actively perceive
the sound, and yet if it were withdrawn it would be
missed. It is only here in these Arctic seas
that stark, unfathomable stillness obtrudes itself
upon you in all its gruesome reality. You find
your tympanum straining to catch some little murmur,
and dwelling eagerly upon every accidental sound within
the vessel. In this state I was leaning against
the bulwarks when there arose from the ice almost
directly underneath me a cry, sharp and shrill, upon
the silent air of the night, beginning, as it seemed
to me, at a note such as prima donna never reached,
and mounting from that ever higher and higher until
it culminated in a long wail of agony, which might
have been the last cry of a lost soul. The ghastly
scream is still ringing in my ears. Grief, unutterable
grief, seemed to be expressed in it, and a great longing,
and yet through it all there was an occasional wild
note of exultation. It shrilled out from close
beside me, and yet as I glared into the darkness I
could discern nothing. I waited some little time,
but without hearing any repetition of the sound, so
I came below, more shaken than I have ever been in
my life before. As I came down the companion I
met Mr. Milne coming up to relieve the watch.
“Weel, Doctor,” he said, “maybe that’s
auld wives’ clavers tae? Did ye no hear
it skirling? Maybe that’s a supersteetion?
What d’ye think o’t noo?” I was obliged
to apologise to the honest fellow, and acknowledge
that I was as puzzled by it as he was. Perhaps
to-morrow things may look different. At present
I dare hardly write all that I think. Reading
it again in days to come, when I have shaken off all
these associations, I should despise myself for having
been so weak.
September 18th. Passed
a restless and uneasy night, still haunted by that
strange sound. The Captain does not look as if
he had had much repose either, for his face is haggard
and his eyes bloodshot. I have not told him of
my adventure of last night, nor shall I. He is already
restless and excited, standing up, sitting down, and
apparently utterly unable to keep still.
A fine lead appeared in the pack this
morning, as I had expected, and we were able to cast
off our ice-anchor, and steam about twelve miles in
a west-sou’-westerly direction. We were
then brought to a halt by a great floe as massive
as any which we have left behind us. It bars our
progress completely, so we can do nothing but anchor
again and wait until it breaks up, which it will probably
do within twenty-four hours, if the wind holds.
Several bladder-nosed seals were seen swimming in the
water, and one was shot, an immense creature more than
eleven feet long. They are fierce, pugnacious
animals, and are said to be more than a match for
a bear. Fortunately they are slow and clumsy in
their movements, so that there is little danger in
attacking them upon the ice.
The Captain evidently does not think
we have seen the last of our troubles, though why
he should take a gloomy view of the situation is more
than I can fathom, since every one else on board considers
that we have had a miraculous escape, and are sure
now to reach the open sea.
“I suppose you think it’s
all right now, Doctor?” he said, as we sat together
after dinner.
“I hope so,” I answered.
“We mustn’t be too sure and
yet no doubt you are right. We’ll all be
in the arms of our own true loves before long, lad,
won’t we? But we mustn’t be too sure we
mustn’t be too sure.”
He sat silent a little, swinging his
leg thoughtfully backwards and forwards. “Look
here,” he continued; “it’s a dangerous
place this, even at its best a treacherous,
dangerous place. I have known men cut off very
suddenly in a land like this. A slip would do
it sometimes a single slip, and down you
go through a crack, and only a bubble on the green
water to show where it was that you sank. It’s
a queer thing,” he continued with a nervous
laugh, “but all the years I’ve been in
this country I never once thought of making a will not
that I have anything to leave in particular, but still
when a man is exposed to danger he should have everything
arranged and ready don’t you think
so?”
“Certainly,” I answered,
wondering what on earth he was driving at.
“He feels better for knowing
it’s all settled,” he went on. “Now
if anything should ever befall me, I hope that you
will look after things for me. There is very
little in the cabin, but such as it is I should like
it to be sold, and the money divided in the same proportion
as the oil-money among the crew. The chronometer
I wish you to keep yourself as some slight remembrance
of our voyage. Of course all this is a mere precaution,
but I thought I would take the opportunity of speaking
to you about it. I suppose I might rely upon you
if there were any necessity?”
“Most assuredly,” I answered;
“and since you are taking this step, I may as
well”
“You! you!” he interrupted.
“You’re all right. What the devil
is the matter with you? There, I didn’t
mean to be peppery, but I don’t like to hear
a young fellow, that has hardly began life, speculating
about death. Go up on deck and get some fresh
air into your lungs instead of talking nonsense in
the cabin, and encouraging me to do the same.”
The more I think of this conversation
of ours the less do I like it. Why should the
man be settling his affairs at the very time when we
seem to be emerging from all danger? There must
be some method in his madness. Can it be that
he contemplates suicide? I remember that upon
one occasion he spoke in a deeply reverent manner
of the heinousness of the crime of self-destruction.
I shall keep my eye upon him, however, and though
I cannot obtrude upon the privacy of his cabin, I shall
at least make a point of remaining on deck as long
as he stays up.
Mr. Milne pooh-poohs my fears, and
says it is only the “skipper’s little
way.” He himself takes a very rosy view
of the situation. According to him we shall be
out of the ice by the day after to-morrow, pass Jan
Meyen two days after that, and sight Shetland in little
more than a week. I hope he may not be too sanguine.
His opinion may be fairly balanced against the gloomy
precautions of the Captain, for he is an old and experienced
seaman, and weighs his words well before uttering them.
The long-impending catastrophe has
come at last. I hardly know what to write about
it. The Captain is gone. He may come back
to us again alive, but I fear me I fear
me. It is now seven o’clock of the morning
of the 19th of September. I have spent the whole
night traversing the great ice-floe in front of us
with a party of seamen in the hope of coming upon
some trace of him, but in vain. I shall try to
give some account of the circumstances which attended
upon his disappearance. Should any one ever chance
to read the words which I put down, I trust they will
remember that I do not write from conjecture or from
hearsay, but that I, a sane and educated man, am describing
accurately what actually occurred before my very eyes.
My inferences are my own, but I shall be answerable
for the facts.
The Captain remained in excellent
spirits after the conversation which I have recorded.
He appeared to be nervous and impatient, however,
frequently changing his position, and moving his limbs
in an aimless choreic way which is characteristic
of him at times. In a quarter of an hour he went
upon deck seven times, only to descend after a few
hurried paces. I followed him each time, for
there was something about his face which confirmed
my resolution of not letting him out of my sight.
He seemed to observe the effect which his movements
had produced, for he endeavoured by an over-done hilarity,
laughing boisterously at the very smallest of jokes,
to quiet my apprehensions.
After supper he went on to the poop
once more, and I with him. The night was dark
and very still, save for the melancholy soughing of
the wind among the spars. A thick cloud was coming
up from the northwest, and the ragged tentacles which
it threw out in front of it were drifting across the
face of the moon, which only shone now and again through
a rift in the wrack. The Captain paced rapidly
backwards and forwards, and then seeing me still dogging
him, he came across and hinted that he thought I should
be better below which, I need hardly say,
had the effect of strengthening my resolution to remain
on deck.
I think he forgot about my presence
after this, for he stood silently leaning over the
taffrail, and peering out across the great desert of
snow, part of which lay in shadow, while part glittered
mistily in the moonlight. Several times I could
see by his movements that he was referring to his
watch, and once he muttered a short sentence, of which
I could only catch the one word “ready.”
I confess to having felt an eerie feeling creeping
over me as I watched the loom of his tall figure through
the darkness, and noted how completely he fulfilled
the idea of a man who is keeping a tryst. A tryst
with whom? Some vague perception began to dawn
upon me as I pieced one fact with another, but I was
utterly unprepared for the sequel.
By the sudden intensity of his attitude
I felt that he saw something. I crept up behind
him. He was staring with an eager questioning
gaze at what seemed to be a wreath of mist, blown
swiftly in a line with the ship. It was a dim,
nebulous body, devoid of shape, sometimes more, sometimes
less apparent, as the light fell on it. The moon
was dimmed in its brilliancy at the moment by a canopy
of thinnest cloud, like the coating of an anemone.
“Coming, lass, coming,”
cried the skipper, in a voice of unfathomable tenderness
and compassion, like one who soothes a beloved one
by some favour long looked for, and as pleasant to
bestow as to receive.
What followed happened in an instant.
I had no power to interfere.
He gave one spring to the top of the
bulwarks, and another which took him on to the ice,
almost to the feet of the pale misty figure. He
held out his hands as if to clasp it, and so ran into
the darkness with outstretched arms and loving words.
I still stood rigid and motionless, straining my eyes
after his retreating form, until his voice died away
in the distance. I never thought to see him again,
but at that moment the moon shone out brilliantly
through a chink in the cloudy heaven, and illuminated
the great field of ice. Then I saw his dark figure
already a very long way off, running with prodigious
speed across the frozen plain. That was the last
glimpse which we caught of him perhaps
the last we ever shall. A party was organised
to follow him, and I accompanied them, but the men’s
hearts were not in the work, and nothing was found.
Another will be formed within a few hours. I can
hardly believe I have not been dreaming, or suffering
from some hideous nightmare, as I write these things
down.
7.30 P.M. Just returned
dead beat and utterly tired out from a second unsuccessful
search for the Captain. The floe is of enormous
extent, for though we have traversed at least twenty
miles of its surface, there has been no sign of its
coming to an end. The frost has been so severe
of late that the overlying snow is frozen as hard
as granite, otherwise we might have had the footsteps
to guide us. The crew are anxious that we should
cast off and steam round the floe and so to the southward,
for the ice has opened up during the night, and the
sea is visible upon the horizon. They argue that
Captain Craigie is certainly dead, and that we are
all risking our lives to no purpose by remaining when
we have an opportunity of escape. Mr. Milne and
I have had the greatest difficulty in persuading them
to wait until to-morrow night, and have been compelled
to promise that we will not under any circumstances
delay our departure longer than that. We propose
therefore to take a few hours’ sleep, and then
to start upon a final search.
September 20th, evening. I
crossed the ice this morning with a party of men exploring
the southern part of the floe, while Mr. Milne went
off in a northerly direction. We pushed on for
ten or twelve miles without seeing a trace of any
living thing except a single bird, which fluttered
a great way over our heads, and which by its flight
I should judge to have been a falcon. The southern
extremity of the ice field tapered away into a long
narrow spit which projected out into the sea.
When we came to the base of this promontory, the men
halted, but I begged them to continue to the extreme
end of it, that we might have the satisfaction of
knowing that no possible chance had been neglected.
We had hardly gone a hundred yards
before M’Donald of Peterhead cried out that
he saw something in front of us, and began to run.
We all got a glimpse of it and ran too. At first
it was only a vague darkness against the white ice,
but as we raced along together it took the shape of
a man, and eventually of the man of whom we were in
search. He was lying face downwards upon a frozen
bank. Many little crystals of ice and feathers
of snow had drifted on to him as he lay, and sparkled
upon his dark seaman’s jacket. As we came
up some wandering puff of wind caught these tiny flakes
in its vortex, and they whirled up into the air, partially
descended again, and then, caught once more in the
current, sped rapidly away in the direction of the
sea. To my eyes it seemed but a snow-drift, but
many of my companions averred that it started up in
the shape of a woman, stooped over the corpse and kissed
it, and then hurried away across the floe. I
have learned never to ridicule any man’s opinion,
however strange it may seem. Sure it is that Captain
Nicholas Craigie had met with no painful end, for
there was a bright smile upon his blue pinched features,
and his hands were still outstretched as though grasping
at the strange visitor which had summoned him away
into the dim world that lies beyond the grave.
We buried him the same afternoon with
the ship’s ensign around him, and a thirty-two
pound shot at his feet. I read the burial service,
while the rough sailors wept like children, for there
were many who owed much to his kind heart, and who
showed now the affection which his strange ways had
repelled during his lifetime. He went off the
grating with a dull, sullen splash, and as I looked
into the green water I saw him go down, down, down
until he was but a little flickering patch of white
hanging upon the outskirts of eternal darkness.
Then even that faded away, and he was gone. There
he shall lie, with his secret and his sorrows and
his mystery all still buried in his breast, until that
great day when the sea shall give up its dead, and
Nicholas Craigie come out from among the ice with
the smile upon his face, and his stiffened arms outstretched
in greeting. I pray that his lot may be a happier
one in that life than it has been in this.
I shall not continue my journal.
Our road to home lies plain and clear before us, and
the great ice field will soon be but a remembrance
of the past. It will be some time before I get
over the shock produced by recent events. When
I began this record of our voyage I little thought
of how I should be compelled to finish it. I am
writing these final words in the lonely cabin, still
starting at times and fancying I hear the quick nervous
step of the dead man upon the deck above me. I
entered his cabin to-night, as was my duty, to make
a list of his effects in order that they might be
entered in the official log. All was as it had
been upon my previous visit, save that the picture
which I have described as having hung at the end of
his bed had been cut out of its frame, as with a knife,
and was gone. With this last link in a strange
chain of evidence I close my diary of the voyage of
the Pole-Star.
[Note by Dr. John M’Alister
Ray, senior. I have read over the strange
events connected with the death of the Captain of the
Pole-Star, as narrated in the journal of my son.
That everything occurred exactly as he describes it
I have the fullest confidence, and, indeed, the most
positive certainty, for I know him to be a strong-nerved
and unimaginative man, with the strictest regard for
veracity. Still, the story is, on the face of
it, so vague and so improbable, that I was long opposed
to its publication. Within the last few days,
however, I have had independent testimony upon the
subject which throws a new light upon it. I had
run down to Edinburgh to attend a meeting of the British
Medical Association, when I chanced to come across
Dr. P , an old college chum of
mine, now practising at Saltash, in Devonshire.
Upon my telling him of this experience of my son’s,
he declared to me that he was familiar with the man,
and proceeded, to my no small surprise, to give me
a description of him, which tallied remarkably well
with that given in the journal, except that he depicted
him as a younger man. According to his account,
he had been engaged to a young lady of singular beauty
residing upon the Cornish coast. During his absence
at sea his betrothed had died under circumstances
of peculiar horror.]