A DOMESTIC SCENE
ONE afternoon when Mrs. Reffold came
to say good-bye to her husband before going out for
the usual sledge-drive, he surprised her by his unwonted
manner.
“Take your cloak off,”
he said sharply. “You cannot go for your
drive this afternoon. You don’t often give
up your time to me; you must do so to-day.”
She was so astonished, that she at
once laid aside her cloak and hat, and touched the
bell.
“Why are you ringing?” Mr. Reffold asked
testily.
“To send a message of excuse,” she answered,
with provoking cheerfulness.
She scribbled something on a card,
and gave it to the servant who answered the bell.
“Now,” she said, with
great sweetness of manner. And she sat down beside
him, drew out her fancy-work, and worked away contentedly.
She would have made a charming study of a devoted
wife soothing a much-loved husband in his hours of
sickness and weariness.
“Do you mind giving up your drive?” he
asked.
“Not in the least,” she replied.
“I am rather tired of sledging.”
“You soon get tired of things, Winifred,”
he said.
“Yes, I do,” was the answer.
“I am so easily bored. I am quite tired
of this place.”
“You will have to stay here
a little longer,” he said, “and then you
will be free to go where you choose. I wish I
could die quicker for you, Winifred.”
Mrs. Reffold looked up from her embroidery.
“You will get better soon,” she said.
“You are better.”
“Yes, you’ve helped a
good deal to make me better,” he said bitterly.
“You have been a most unselfish person haven’t
you? You have given me every care and attention,
haven’t you?”
“You seem to me in a very strange
mood to-day,” she said, looking puzzled.
“I don’t understand you.”
Mr. Reffold laughed.
“Poor Winifred,” he said.
“If it is ever your lot to fall ill and be neglected,
perhaps then you will think of me.”
“Neglected?” she said,
in some surprise. “What do you mean?
I thought you had everything you wanted. The
nurse brought excellent testimonials. I was careful
in the choice of her. You have never complained
before.”
He turned wearily on his side, and
made no answer. And for some time there was silence
between them.
Then he watched her as she bent over her embroidery.
“You are very beautiful, Winifred,”
he said quietly, “but you are a selfish woman.
Has it ever struck you that you are selfish?”
Mrs. Reffold gave no reply, but she
made a resolution to write to her particular friend
at Cannes and confide to her how very trying her husband
had become.
“I suppose it is part of his
illness,” she thought meekly. “But
it is hard to have to bear it.”
And Mrs. Reffold pitied herself profoundly.
She stitched sincere pity for herself into that piece
of embroidery.
“I remember you telling me,”
continued Mr. Reffold, “that sick people repelled
you. That was when I was strong and vigorous.
But since I have been ill, I have often recalled your
words. Poor Winifred! You did not think
then that you would have an invalid husband on your
hands. Well, you were not intended for sick-room
nursing, and you have not tried to be what you were
not intended for. Perhaps you were right, after
all.”
“I don’t know why you
should be so unkind to-day,” Mrs. Reffold said,
with pathetic patience. “I can’t understand
you. You have never spoken like this before.”
“No,” he said; “but
I have thought like this before. All the hours
you have left me lonely, I have been thinking like
this, with my heart full of bitterness against you,
until that little girl, that Little Brick came along.”
After that, it was some time before
he spoke. He was thinking of his Little Brick,
and of all the pleasant hours he had spent with her,
and of the kind, wise words she had spoken to him,
an ignorant fellow. She was something like a
companion.
So he went on thinking, and Mrs. Reffold
went on embroidering. She was now feeling herself
to be almost a heroine. It is a very easy matter
to make oneself into a heroine or a martyr. Selfish,
neglectful? What did he mean? Oh, it was
just part of his illness. She must go on bearing
her burden as she had borne it these many months.
Her rightful position was in a London ball-room.
Instead of which, she had to be shut up in an Alpine
village: a hard lot. It was little enough
pleasure she could get, and apparently her husband
grudged her that. His manner to her this afternoon
was not such as to encourage her to stay in from her
drive on another occasion. To-morrow she would
go sledging.
That flash of light which reveals
ourselves to ourselves had not yet come to Mrs. Reffold.
She looked at her husband, and thought
from his restfulness that he had gone to sleep, and
she was just beginning to write to that particular
friend at Cannes, to tell her what a trial she was
undergoing, when Mr. Reffold called her to his side.
“Winifred,” he said gently,
and there was tenderness in his voice, and love written
on his face, “Winifred, I am sorry if I have
been sharp to you. Little Brick says we mustn’t
come down like sledge-hammers on each other; and that
is what I have been doing this afternoon. Perhaps
I have been hard: I am such an illness to myself,
that I must be an illness to others too. And
you weren’t meant for this sort of thing were
you? You are a bright beautiful creature, and
I am an unfortunate dog not to have been able to make
you happier. I know I am irritable. I can’t
help myself, indeed I can’t.”
This great long fellow was so yearning
for love and sympathy.
What would it not have been to him
if she had gathered him into her arms, and soothed
all his irritability and suffering with her love?
But she pressed his hand, and kissed
him lightly on the cheek, and told him that he had
been a little sharp, but that she quite understood,
and that she was not hurt. Her charm of manner
gave him some satisfaction; and when Bernardine came
in a few minutes later, she found Mr. Reffold looking
happier and more contented than she had ever seen him.
Mrs. Reffold, who was relieved at the interruption,
received Bernardine warmly, though there was a certain
amount of shyness which she had never been able to
conquer in Bernardine’s presence. There
was something in the younger woman which quelled Mrs.
Reffold: it may have been some mental quality,
or it may have been her boots!
“Little Brick,” said Mr.
Reffold, “isn’t it nice to have Winifred
here? And I have been so disagreeable and snappish.”
“Oh, we won’t say anything
about that now,” said Mrs. Reffold, smiling
sweetly.
“But I’ve said I am sorry,”
he continued. “And one can’t do more.”
“No,” said Bernardine,
who was amused at the notion of Mr. Reffold apologizing
to Mrs. Reffold, and of Mrs. Reffold posing as the
gracious forgiver, “one can’t do more.”
But she could not control her feelings, and she laughed.
“You seem rather merry this
afternoon,” Mr. Reffold said, in a reproachful
tone of voice.
“Yes,” she said.
And she laughed again. Mrs. Reffold’s forgiving
graciousness had altogether upset her gravity.
“You might at least tell us
the joke,” Mrs. Reffold said. Bernardine
looked at her hopelessly, and laughed again.
“I have been developing photographs
all the afternoon,” she said, “and I suppose
the closeness of the air and the badness of my negatives
have been too much for me. Anyway, I know I must
seem very rude.”
She recovered herself after that,
and tried hard not to think of Mrs. Reffold as the
dispenser of forgiveness, although it was some time
before she could look at her hostess without wishing
to laugh. The corners of her mouth twitched,
and her brown eyes twinkled mischievously, and she
spoke very rapidly, making fun of her first attempts
at photography, and criticising herself so comically,
that both and Mrs. Reffold were much amused.
All the same, Bernardine was relieved
when Mrs. Reffold went to fetch some silks, and left
her with Mr. Reffold.
“I am very happy this afternoon,
Little Brick,” he said to her. “My
wife has been sitting with me. But instead of
enjoying the pleasure as I ought to have done, I began
to find fault with her. I don’t know how
long I should not have gone on grumbling, but that
I suddenly recollected what you taught me: that
we were not to come down like sledge-hammers on each
other’s failings. When I remembered that,
it was quite easy to forgive all the neglect and thoughtlessness.
Since you have talked to me, Little Brick, everything
has become easier to me!”
“It is something in your own
mind which has worked this,” she said; “your
own kind, generous mind, and you put it down to my
words!”
But he shook his head.
“If I knew of any poor unfortunate
devil that wanted to be eased and comforted,”
he said, “I should tell him about you, Little
Brick. You have been very good to me. You
may be clever, but you have never worried my stupid
brain with too much scholarship. I’m just
an ignorant chap, and you’ve never let me feel
it.”
He took her hand and raised it reverently to his lips.
“I say,” he continued,
“tell my wife it made me happy to have her with
me this afternoon; then perhaps she will stay in another
time. I should like her to know. And she
was sweet in her manner, wasn’t she? And,
by Jove, she is beautiful! I am glad you have
seen her here to-day. It must be dull for her
with an invalid like me. And I know I am irritable.
Go and tell her that she made me happy will
you?”
The little bit of happiness at which
the poor fellow snatched, seemed to make him more
pathetic than before. Bernardine promised to tell
his wife, and went of to find her, making as an excuse
a book which Mrs. Reffold had offered to lend her.
Mrs. Reffold was in her bedroom. She asked.
Bernardine to sit down whilst she searched for the
book. She had a very gracious manner when she
chose.
“You are looking much better,
Miss Holme,” she said kindly. “I cannot
help noticing your face. It looks younger and
brighter. The bracing air has done you good.”
“Yes, I am better,” Bernardine
said, rather astonished that Mrs. Reffold should have
noticed her at all. “Mr. Allitsen informs
me that I shall live, but never be strong. He
settles every question of that sort to his own satisfaction,
but not always to the satisfaction of other people!”
“He is a curious person,”
Mrs. Reffold said smiling; “though I must say
he is not quite as gruff as he used to be. You
seem to be good friends with him.”
She would have liked to say more on
this subject, but experience had taught her that Bernardine
was not to be trifled with.
“I don’t know about being
good friends,” Bernardine said, “but I
have a great sympathy for him. I know myself
what it is to be cut off from work and active life.
I have been through a misery. But mine is nothing
to his.”
She rose to go, but Mrs. Reffold detained her.
Don’t go yet,’ she said. “It
is pleasant to have you.”
She was leaning back in an arm-chair
playing with the fringe of an antimacassar.
“Oh, how tired I am of this
horrid place!” she said suddenly. “And
I have had a most wearying afternoon. Mr. Reffold
seems to be more irritable every day. It is very
hard that I should have to bear it.”
Bernardine listened to her in astonishment.
“Yes,” she added, “I
am quite worn out. He never used to be so irritable.
It is all very tiresome. It is quite telling on
my health.”
She looked the picture of health.
Bernardine gasped; and Mrs. Reffold continued:
“His grumbling this afternoon
has been incessant; so much so that he himself was
ashamed, and asked me to forgive him. You heard
him, didn’t you?”
“Yes, I heard him,” Bernardine said.
“And of course I forgave him
at once,” Mrs. Reffold said piously. “Naturally
one would do that, but the vexation remains all the
same.”
“Can these things be!” thought Bernardine
to herself
“He spoke in a most ridiculous
way,” she went on: “it certainly is
not encouraging for me to spend another afternoon
with him. I shall go sledging to-morrow.”
“You generally do go sledging, don’t you?”
Bernardine asked mildly.
Mrs. Reffold looked at her suspiciously.
She was never quite sure that Bernardine was not making
fun of her.
“It is little enough pleasure
I do have,” she added, as though in self-defence.
“And he seems to grudge me that too.”
“I don’t think he would
grudge you anything,” Bernardine said, with
some warmth. “He loves you too much for
that. You don’t know how much pleasure
you give him when you spare him a little of your time.
He told me how happy you made him this afternoon.
You could see for yourself that he was happy.
Mrs. Reffold, make him happy whilst you still have
him. Don’t you understand that he is passing
away from you don’t you understand,
or is it that you won’t? We all see it,
all except you!”
She stopped suddenly, surprised at her boldness.
Mrs. Reffold was still leaning back
in the arm-chair, her hands clasped together above
her beautiful head. Her face was pale. She
did not speak. Bernardine waited. The silence
was unbroken save by the merry cries of some children
tobogganing in the Kurhaus garden. The stillness
grew oppressive, and Bernardine rose. She knew
from the effort which those few words had cost her,
how far removed she was from her old former self.
“Good-bye, Mrs. Reffold,” she said nervously.
“Good-bye, Miss Holme,” was the only answer.