“SHIPS THAT SPEAK EACH OTHER IN PASSING
MANY of the guests in the foreign
quarter had made a start downwards into the plains;
and the Kurhaus itself, though still well filled
with visitors, was every week losing some of its invalids.
A few of the tables looked desolate, and some were
not occupied at all, the lingerers having chosen,
now that their party was broken up, to seek the refuge
of another table. So that many stragglers found
their way to the English dining-board, each bringing
with him his own national bad manners, and causing
much annoyance to the Disagreeable Man, who was a true
John Bull in his contempt of all foreigners.
The English table was, so he said, like England herself:
the haven of other nation’s offscourings.
There were several other signs, too,
that the season was far advanced. The food had
fallen of in quality and quantity. The invalids,
some of them better and some of them worse, had become
impatient. And plans were being discussed, where
formerly temperatures and coughs and general symptoms
were the usual subjects of conversation! The caretakers,
too, were in a state of agitation; some few keenly
anxious to be of to new pastures; and others, who
had perhaps formed attachments, an occurrence not
unusual in Petershof, were wishing to hold back time
with both hands, and were therefore delighted that
the weather, which had not yet broken up, gave no
legitimate excuse for immediate departure.
Pretty Fraeulein Mueller had gone,
leaving her Spanish gentleman quite disconsolate for
the time being. The French Marchioness had returned
to the Parisian circles where she was celebrated for
all the domestic virtues, from which she had been
taking such a prolonged holiday in Petershof.
The little French danseuse and her poodle had
left for Monte Carlo. M. Lichinsky and his mother
passed on to the Tyrol, where Madame would no doubt
have plenty of opportunities for quarrelling:
or not finding them, would certainly make them without
any delay, by this means keeping herself in good spirits
and her son in bad health. There were some, too,
who had hurried off without paying their doctors:
being of course those who had received the greatest
attention, and who had expressed the greatest gratitude
in their time of trouble, but who were of opinion
that thankfulness could very well take the place of
francs: an opinion not entirely shared by the
doctors themselves.
The Swedish professor had betaken
himself off, with his chessmen and his chessboard.
The little Polish governess who clutched so eagerly
at her paltry winnings, caressing those centimes
with the same fondness and fever that a greater gambler
grasps his thousands of francs, she, had left too;
and, indeed, most of Bernardine’s acquaintances
had gone their several ways, after six months’
constant intercourse, and companionship, saying good-bye
with the same indifference as though they were saying
good-morning or good-afternoon.
This cold-heartedness struck Bernardine
more than once, and she spoke of it to Robert Allitsen.
It was the day before her own departure, and she had
gone down with him to the restaurant, and sat sipping
her coffee, and making her complaint.
“Such indifference is astonishing,
and it is sad too. I cannot understand it,”
she said.
“That is because you are a goose,”
he replied, pouring out some more coffee for himself,
and as an after thought, for her too, “You pretend
to know something about the human heart, and yet you
do not seem to grasp the fact that most of us are
very little interested in other people: they
for us and we for them can spare only a small fraction
of time and attention. We may, perhaps, think
to the contrary, believing that we occupy an important
position in their lives; until one day, when we are
feeling most confident of our value, we see an unmistakable
sign, given quite unconsciously by our friends, that
we are after all nothing to them: we can be done
without, put on one side, and forgotten when not present.
Then, if we are foolish, we are wounded by this discovery,
and we draw back into ourselves. But if we are
wise, we draw back into ourselves without being wounded:
recognizing as fair and reasonable that people can
only have time and attention for their immediate belongings.
Isolated persons have to learn this lesson sooner
or later; and the sooner they do learn it, the better.”
“And you,” she asked, “you have
learnt this lesson?”
“Long ago,” he said decidedly.
“You take a hard view of life,” she said.
“Life has not been very bright
for me,” he answered. “But I own that
I have not cultivated my garden. And now it is
too late: the weeds have sprung up everywhere.
Once or twice I have thought lately that I would begin
to clear away the weeds, but I have not the courage
now. And perhaps it does not matter much.”
“I think it does matter,”
she said gently. “But I am no better than
you, for I have not cultivated my garden.’’
“It would not be such a difficult
business for you as for me,” he said, smiling
sadly.
They left the restaurant, and sauntered out together.
“And to-morrow you will be gone,” he said.
“I shall miss you,” Bernardine said.
“That is simply a question of
time,” he remarked. “I shall probably
miss you at first. But we adjust ourselves easily
to altered circumstances: mercifully. A
few days, a few weeks at most, and then that state
of becoming accustomed, called by pious folk, resignation.”
“Then you think that the every-day
companionship, the every-day exchange of thoughts
and ideas, counts for little or, nothing?” she
asked.
“That is about the colour of
it,” he answered, in his old gruff way.
She thought of his words when she
was packing: the many pleasant hours were to
count for nothing; for nothing the little bits of fun,
the little displays of temper and vexation, the snatches
of serious talk, the contradictions, and all the petty
details of six months’ close companionship.
He was not different from the others
who had parted from her so lightly. No wonder,
then, that he could sympathise with them.
That last night at Petershof, Bernardine
hardened her heart against the Disagreeable Man.
“I am glad I am able to do so,”
she said to herself. “It makes it easier
for me to go.”
Then the vision of a forlorn figure
rose before her. And the little hard heart softened
at once.
In the morning they breakfasted together
as usual. There was scarcely any conversation
between them. He asked for her address, and she
told him that she was going back to her uncle who
kept the second-hand book-shop in Stone Street.
“I will send you a guide-book
from the Tyrol,” he explained. “I
shall be going there in a week or two to see my mother.”
“I hope you will find her in good health,”
she said.
Then it suddenly flashed across her
mind what he had told her about his one great sacrifice
for his mother’s sake. She looked up at
him, and he met her glance without flinching.
He said good-bye to her at the foot of the staircase.
It was the first time she had ever shaken hands with
him.
“Good-bye,” he said gently. “Good
luck to you.”
“Good-bye,” she answered.
He went up the stairs, and turned
round as though he wished to say something more.
But he changed his mind, and kept his own counsel.
An hour later Bernardine left Petershof. Only
the concierge of the
Kurhaus saw her off at the station.