The morning following their arrival
at The Lolabama, The Happy Family, looking several
shades less happy, began coming from their tents shortly
after daylight. By five o’clock they were
all up and dressed, since, being accustomed to darkened
rooms, they found themselves unable to sleep owing
to the glare coming through the white canvas.
Out of consideration for his guests,
whom he remembered as late risers, Wallie had set
the breakfast hour at eight-thirty. This seemed
an eternity to The Happy Family who, already famished,
consulted their watches with increasing frequency
while they watched the door of the bunk-house like
cats at a mouse-hole for the cook to make his appearance.
After a restless night due to strange
beds and surroundings, still fatigued with their long
journey, their muscles stiff from the “churning”
in the stagecoach, they were not better natured for
being ferociously hungry.
After wandering around to look listlessly
at the ponies, and at the salt-water plunge that was
to rejuvenate them, they sat down on the edge of the
platforms in front of their tents to endure somehow
the three hours which must pass before breakfast.
The dawn was sweet-scented, the song
of the meadow-lark celestial, and the colours of the
coming day reflected on the snow-covered peaks a sight
to be remembered, but the guests had no eyes or ears
or nose for any of the charms of the early morning.
The rising of the sun was nothing as compared to the
rising of the cook who would appease their savage
hunger.
Conversation was reduced to monosyllables
as, miserable and apathetic, they sat thinking of
the food they had sent back to Mr. Cone’s kitchen
with caustic comments, of the various dishes for which
the chef of The Colonial was celebrated.
Mr. Stott thought that his watch must
be slow until it was found that every other watch
agreed with his exactly. He declared that when
the cook did appear he meant to urge him to hurry
breakfast.
The cook came out, finally, at seven-thirty,
and, after a surprised glance at the row on the platforms,
strode into the kitchen where he rattled the range
as if it were his purpose to wreck it.
When the smoke rose from the chimney
Mr. Stott went to the door to carry out his intention
of asking the cook to speed up breakfast.
A large sign greeted him:
DUDES KEEP OUT
The cook was a gaunt, long-legged
person with a saturnine countenance. He wore
a seersucker coat with a nickel badge pinned on the
lapel of it.
As an opening wedge Mr. Stott smiled
engagingly and pointed to it:
“For exceptional gallantry, I presume a
war medal?”
The hero stopped long enough to offer
it for Mr. Stott’s closer inspection.
It read:
UNITED ORDER OF PASTRY COOKS
OF THE WORLD
Taken somewhat aback, Mr. Stott said feebly:
“Very nice, indeed er-
“Mr. Hicks, at your service!” the cook
supplemented, bowing formally.
“Hicks,” Mr. Stott added.
“Just take a second longer and say ‘Mister.’”
The cook eyed him in such a fashion
as he administered the reprimand for his familiarity
that Mr. Stott backed off without mentioning his starving
condition.
“What did he say?” they
asked, eagerly, as he sat down on his platform, somewhat
crestfallen.
“He seems a temperamental person,”
Mr. Stott replied, evasively. “But we shall
have breakfast in due season.”
It was suspected that Mr. Stott had
failed in his mission, and they were sure of it as
the hands dragged around to eight-thirty.
At that hour precisely Mr. Hicks came
out and hammered on a triangle as vigorously as if
it were necessary. In spite of their efforts to
appear unconcerned when it jangled, the haste of the
guests was nothing less than indecent as they hurried
to the dining room and scrambled for seats at the
table.
The promise of food raised their spirits
a trifle and Mr. Appel was able to say humorously
as, with his table knife, he scalped his agate-ware
plate loose from the oil-cloth:
“I suppose we shall soon learn
the customs of the country. In a month we should
all be fairly well ac’climated.”
“Acclim’ated,” Mr. Stott corrected.
“Ac’climated,” Mr.
Appel maintained, obstinately. “At least
with your kind permission I shall continue to so pronounce
it.”
“I beg your pardon,” Mr.
Stott apologized with elaborate sarcasm, “but
when I am wrong I like to be told of it.”
Which was not the strict truth for the reason that
no one ever was able to convince him that he ever
was mistaken. As a result of the discussion everyone
was afraid to use the word for fear of offending one
or the other.
The silence that followed while breakfast
was being placed upon the table was broken by Miss
Eyester, who said timidly:
“In the night I thought I heard
something sniffing, and it frightened me.”
Not to be outdone in sensational experiences,
Mrs. Stott averred positively:
“There was some wild animal
running over our tent. I could hear its sharp
claws sticking into the canvas. A coyote, I fancy.”
“A ground-squirrel, more likely,” remarked
Mr. Appel.
Mr. Stott smiled at him:
“Squee-rrel, if you will allow me to again correct
you.”
“I guess I can’t help myself,” replied
Mr. Appel, drily.
Mr. Stott shrugged a shoulder and
his tolerant look said plainly that, after all, one
should not expect too much of a man who had begun life
as a “breaker-boy.”
“The squee-rrel or coyote or
whatever it was,” Mrs. Stott continued, “went
pitter-patter, pitter-patter so!”
She illustrated with her finger-tips on the oil-cloth.
“Prob’ly a chipmunk,” said Pinkey,
prosaically.
“Are they dangerous, Mr. Fripp?” inquired
Miss Gaskett.
“Not unless cornered or wounded,” he replied,
gravely.
This was a joke, obviously, so everybody
laughed, which stimulated Pinkey to further effort.
When Mr. Hicks poured his cup so full that the coffee
ran over he remarked facetiously:
“It won’t stack, cookie.”
Coffee-pot in hand, Mr. Hicks drew
himself up majestically and his eyes withered Pinkey.
“I beg to be excused from such
familiarity, and if you wish our pleasant relations
to continue you will not repeat it.”
“I bet I won’t josh him
again,” Pinkey said, ruefully, when Mr. Hicks
returned to the kitchen in the manner of offended royalty.
“Cooks are sometimes very peculiar,”
observed Mr. Stott, buttering his pancakes lavishly.
“I remember that my mother my mother,
by the way, Mr. Penrose, was a Sproat-
“Shoat?” Old Mr. Penrose,
who complained of a pounding in his ears, was not
hearing so well in the high altitude.
Mr. Appel and Pinkey tittered, which
nettled Mr. Stott and he shouted:
“Sproat! An old Philadelphia family.”
“Oh, yes,” Mr. Penrose
recollected. “I recall Amanda Sproat she
married a stevedore. Your sister?”
Mr. Stott chose to ignore the inquiry, and said coldly:
“My father was in public life.”
He might have added that his father was a policeman,
and therefore his statement was no exaggeration.
Everybody felt that it served Mr.
Penrose right for telling about the stevedore when
he was seized with a violent fit of coughing immediately
afterward. Wiping his streaming eyes, he looked
from Wallie to Pinkey and declared resentfully:
“This is the result of your
reckless driving. The cork came out of my cough
syrup in the suitcase. The only way I can get
relief from the irritation is to apply my tongue to
the puddle. I shall have to lick my valise until
I can have the prescription refilled in Prouty.”
The culprits mumbled that they “were
sorry,” to which Mr. Penrose replied disagreeably
that that did not keep him from “coughing his
head off!”
Looking sympathetically at Pinkey,
Miss Eyester, for the purpose of diverting the irascible
old gentleman’s attention from the subject,
asked when she might take her first riding lesson.
Pinkey said promptly: “This
mornin’ they’s nothin’
to hinder.”
“That’s awfully good of
you, Mr. Fripp,” she said, gratefully.
Pinkey, who always jumped when any
one called him “Mister,” replied bluntly:
“Tain’t I wantta.”
“We’ll all go!” Mrs. Stott cried,
excitedly.
“Shore.” There was less enthusiasm
in the answer.
“We were so fortunate as to
be able to purchase our equipment for riding broncos
before coming out here,” explained Mr. Budlong.
“There is an excellent store on the Boardwalk
and we found another in Omaha.”
“We have divided skirts and
everything! Just wait till you see us!”
cried Mrs. Budlong. “And you’ll take
our pictures, won’t you, Mr. Penrose?”
“I don’t mind wasting a couple of films,”
he consented.
Between the pancakes and the prospective
riding lesson the atmosphere cleared and everyone’s
spirits rose so that the slightly strained relations
were again normal by the time they got up from the
table.
They were as eager as children as
they opened their trunks for their costumes, and even
Aunt Lizzie Philbrick, who had once ridden a burro
in Old Mexico, declared her intention of trying it.
While the “dudes” dressed,
Pinkey and Wallie went down to the corral to saddle
for them.
“We better let her ride the
pinto,” said Pinkey, casually.
“‘Her?’” Wallie
looked at his partner fixedly. “Which ’her’?”
“That lady that’s so thin
she could hide behind a match and have room left to
peek around the corner. She seems sickly, and
the pinto is easy-gaited,” Pinkey explained,
elaborately.
“All right,” Wallie nodded,
“and we’ll put Aunt Lizzie on the white
one and give Mrs. Budlong-
“Kindly assign me a spirited
mount,” interrupted Mr. Stott, who, as to costume,
was a compromise between an English groom and a fox-hunter.
Wallie looked dubious.
“Oh, I understand horses,”
declared Mr. Stott, “I used to ride like an
Indian.”
“The buckskin?” Wallie asked doubtfully
of Pinkey.
Pinkey hesitated.
“You need not be afraid that he will injure
me. I can handle him.”
Wallie, who never had heard of Mr.
Stott’s horsemanship, consented reluctantly.
“I prefer to saddle and bridle
myself, also,” said Mr. Stott, when the buckskin
was pointed out to him.
Wallie’s misgivings returned
to him and Pinkey rolled his eyes eloquently when
they saw “the man who understood horses”
trying to bridle with the chin-strap and noted that
he had saddled without a blanket.
Mr. Stott laughed inconsequently when
the mistake was pointed out to him and declared that
it was an oversight merely.
“Now, if you will get me something
to stand on I am ready to mount.”
Once more Pinkey and Wallie exchanged
significant glances as the man “who used to
ride like an Indian” climbed into the saddle
like someone getting into an upper berth in a Pullman.
Mr. Stott was sitting with the fine,
easy grace of a clothespin when the rest of the party
came down the path ready for their riding lesson.
Neither Pinkey nor Wallie was easily
startled, but when they saw their guests the most
their astonishment permitted was an inarticulate gurgle.
Dismay also was among their emotions as they thought
of conducting the party through Prouty and the Yellowstone.
Wallie had his share of moral courage, but when they
first met his vision he doubted if he was strong enough
for the ordeal.
Mrs. Budlong, whose phlegmatic exterior
concealed a highly romantic nature and an active imagination,
was dressed to resemble a cow-girl of the movies as
nearly as her height and width permitted. Her
Stetson, knotted kerchief, fringed gauntlets, quirt,
spurs to delight a Mexican, and swagger which
had the effect of a barge rocking at anchor so
fascinated Pinkey that he could not keep his eyes from
her.
Old Mr. Penrose in a buckskin shirt
ornate with dyed porcupine quills, and a forty-five
Colt slung in a holster, looked like the next to the
last of the Great Scouts, while Mr. Budlong, in a beaded
vest that would have turned bullets, was happy though
uncomfortable.
Mr. Budlong was dressed like a stage
bandit, except that he wore moccasins in spite of
Pinkey’s warning that he would find it misery
to ride in them unless he was accustomed to wearing
them.
Simultaneous with Miss Gaskett’s
appearance in plaid bloomers a saddle-horse lay back
and broke his bridle-reins, for which Pinkey had not
the heart to punish him in the circumstances.
Aunt Lizzie wore long, voluminous,
divided skirts and a little white hat like a pate-tin,
while by contrast Mrs. Harry Stott looked very smart
and ultra in a tailored coat and riding breeches.
This was the party that started up
Skull Creek under Pinkey’s guidance, and the
amazing aggregation that greeted the choleric eye of
Mr. Canby on one of the solitary rides which were
his greatest diversion. He had just returned
from the East and had not yet learned of the use to
which Wallie had put his check. But now he recalled
Wallie’s parting speech to Pinkey when he had
started to get the paper cashed, and this fantastic
company was the result!
As Canby drew in his horse, he stared
in stony-eyed unfriendliness while they waved at him
gaily and Mr. Stott called out that they were going
to be neighbourly and visit him soon.
The feeling of helpless wrath in which
he now looked after the party was a sensation that
he had experienced only a few times in his life.
Pinkey had warned him that at the first openly hostile
act he would “blab” the story of the Skull
Creek episode far and wide. He had hit Canby in
his most vulnerable spot, for ridicule was something
which he found it impossible to endure, and he could
well appreciate the glee with which his many enemies
would listen to the tale, taking good care that it
never died.
By all the rules of the game as he
had played it often, and always with success, Wallie
should long since have “faded” scared,
starved out. Yet, somehow, in some unique and
extraordinary way that only a “dude” would
think of, he had managed to come out on top.
But the real basis for Canby’s
grievance, and one which he would not admit even to
himself, was that however Wallie was criticized, Helene
Spenceley never failed to find something to say in
his defence.
There was not much that Canby could
do in the present circumstances to put difficulties
in Wallie’s way, but the next day he found it
convenient to turn a trainload of long-horn Texas cattle
loose on the adjacent range, and posted warnings to
the effect that they were dangerous to pedestrians,
and persons going among them on foot did so at their
own risk.