He was saying, when he awoke one morning,
“I wish I were governor of a small island, and
had nothing to do but to get up and govern.”
It was an observation quite worthy of him, and one
of general application, for there are many men who
find it very difficult to get a living on their own
resources, to whom it would be comparatively easy to
be a very fair sort of governor. Everybody who
has no official position or routine duty on a salary
knows that the most trying moment in the twenty-four
hours is that in which he emerges from the oblivion
of sleep and faces life. Everything perplexing
tumbles in upon him, all the possible vexations
of the day rise up before him, and he is little less
than a hero if he gets up cheerful.
It is not to be wondered at that people
crave office, some salaried position, in order to
escape the anxieties, the personal responsibilities,
of a single-handed struggle with the world. It
must be much easier to govern an island than to carry
on almost any retail business. When the governor
wakes in the morning he thinks first of his salary;
he has not the least anxiety about his daily bread
or the support of his family. His business is
all laid out for him; he has not to create it.
Business comes to him; he does not have to drum for
it. His day is agreeably, even if sympathetically,
occupied with the troubles of other people, and nothing
is so easy to bear as the troubles of other people.
After he has had his breakfast, and read over the “Constitution,”
he has nothing to do but to “govern” for
a few hours, that is, to decide about things on general
principles, and with little personal application, and
perhaps about large concerns which nobody knows anything
about, and which are much easier to dispose of than
the perplexing details of private life. He has
to vote several times a day; for giving a decision
is really casting a vote; but that is much easier
than to scratch around in all the anxieties of a retail
business. Many men who would make very respectable
Presidents of the United States could not successfully
run a retail grocery store. The anxieties of
the grocery would wear them out. For consider
the varied ability that the grocery requires-the foresight
about the markets, to take advantage of an eighth
per cent. off or on here and there; the vigilance
required to keep a “full line” and not
overstock, to dispose of goods before they spoil or
the popular taste changes; the suavity and integrity
and duplicity and fairness and adaptability needed
to get customers and keep them; the power to bear the
daily and hourly worry; the courage to face the ever-present
spectre of “failure,” which is said to
come upon ninety merchants in a hundred; the tact needed
to meet the whims and the complaints of patrons, and
the difficulty of getting the patrons who grumble
most to pay in order to satisfy the creditors.
When the retail grocer wakens in the morning he feels
that his business is not going to come to him spontaneously;
he thinks of his rivals, of his perilous stock, of
his debts and delinquent customers. He has no
“Constitution” to go by, nothing but his
wits and energy to set against the world that day,
and every day the struggle and the anxiety are the
same. What a number of details he has to carry
in his head (consider, for instance, how many different
kinds of cheese there are, and how different people
hate and love the same kind), and how keen must be
his appreciation of the popular taste. The complexities
and annoyances of his business are excessive, and
he cannot afford to make many mistakes; if he does
he will lose his business, and when a man fails in
business (honestly), he loses his nerve, and his career
is ended. It is simply amazing, when you consider
it, the amount of talent shown in what are called
the ordinary businesses of life.
It has been often remarked with how
little wisdom the world is governed. That is
the reason it is so easy to govern. “Uneasy
lies the head that wears a crown” does not refer
to the discomfort of wearing it, but to the danger
of losing it, and of being put back upon one’s
native resources, having to run a grocery or to keep
school. Nobody is in such a pitiable plight as
a monarch or politician out of business. It is
very difficult for either to get a living. A
man who has once enjoyed the blessed feeling of awaking
every morning with the thought that he has a certain
salary despises the idea of having to drum up a business
by his own talents. It does not disturb the waking
hour at all to think that a deputation is waiting
in the next room about a post-office in Indiana or
about the codfish in Newfoundland waters the
man can take a second nap on any such affair; but
if he knows that the living of himself and family
that day depends upon his activity and intelligence,
uneasy lies his head. There is something so restful
and easy about public business! It is so simple!
Take the average Congressman. The Secretary of
the Treasury sends in an elaborate report a
budget, in fact involving a complete and
harmonious scheme of revenue and expenditure.
Must the Congressman read it? No; it is not necessary
to do that; he only cares for practical measures.
Or a financial bill is brought in. Does he study
that bill? He hears it read, at least by title.
Does he take pains to inform himself by reading and
conversation with experts upon its probable effect?
Or an international copyright law is proposed, a measure
that will relieve the people of the United States
from the world-wide reputation of sneaking meanness
towards foreign authors. Does he examine the subject,
and try to understand it? That is not necessary.
Or it is a question of tariff. He is to vote
“yes” or “no” on these proposals.
It is not necessary for him to master these subjects,
but it is necessary for him to know how to vote.
And how does he find out that? In the first place,
by inquiring what effect the measure will have upon
the chance of election of the man he thinks will be
nominated for President, and in the second place, what
effect his vote will have on his own reelection.
Thus the principles of legislation become very much
simplified, and thus it happens that it is comparatively
so much easier to govern than it is to run a grocery
store.