The east wind had been swept aside
by gales from the warm south, and the spring was bursting
out everywhere; the sky looked softly blue, instead
of hard and chill; the sun made everything glisten:
the hedges were full of catkins; white buds were on
the purple twigs of the blackthorns; primroses were
looking out on the sunny side of the road; the larks
were mounting up, singing as if they were wild with
delight; and the sunbeams were full of dancing gnats,
as the Curate of Friarswood walked, with quick eager
steps, towards the bridge.
His eyes were anxiously bent on the
house, watching the white smoke rising from the chimney;
then he hastened on to gain the first sight at the
upper windows, feeling almost as he could have done
had it been a brother who lay there; so much was his
heart set on the first whom he had striven to help
through the valley of the shadow of death. The
window was open, but the blind was not drawn; and
almost at the same moment the gate opened, some one
looked out, and seeing him, waved his hand and arm
in joyful signal towards some one within, and this
gesture set Mr. Cope’s heart at rest.
Was it Harold? No, it was Paul
Blackthorn, who stood leaning on the wicket, as he
held it open for the clergyman, at whom he looked up
as if expecting some change, and a little surprised
to find the same voice and manner.
‘Well, Paul, then he is not worse?’
’No, Sir, thank you, he is better.
The pain has left him, and he can speak again,’
said Paul, but not very cheerfully.
‘That is a great comfort!
But who’s that?’ as a head, not Ellen’s,
appeared for a moment at the window.
‘That’s Miss King, Sir - Miss
Matilda!’
’Oh! Well, and how are
the bones, Paul? Better, I hope, since I see
you are come out with the bees,’ said Mr. Cope,
laying his hand kindly on his shoulder (a thing fit
to touch now, since it was in a fustian coat of poor
Alfred’s), and accommodating his swift strong
steps to the feeble halt with which Paul still moved.
‘Thank you, Sir, yes; I’ve
been down here twice when the sun was out,’ he
said, as if it were a grand undertaking; but then,
with a sudden smile, ’and poor Cæsar knew me,
Sir; he came right across the road, and wagged his
tail, and licked my hand.’
’Good old Cæsar! You
were his best friend, Paul. - Well, Mrs. King,
this is a blessing!’
Mrs. King looked sadly worn out with
nursing, and her eyes were full of tears.
‘Yes, Sir,’ she said,
’indeed it is. My poor darling has been
so much afraid he was too much set on your coming
home, and yet so patient and quiet about it.’
‘Then you ventured to wait?’
And Mr. Cope heard that the attack
of inflammation had given way to remedies, but that
Alfred was so much weakened, that they could not raise
him again. He was sustained by as much nourishment
as they could give him: but the disease had made
great progress, and Mr. Blunt did not think that he
could last many days. His eldest sister had come
for a fortnight from her place, and was a great comfort
to them all. ‘And so is Paul,’ said
Mrs. King, looking for him kindly; ’I don’t
know what we should do without his help up-stairs
and down. And, Sir, yesterday,’ she added,
colouring a good deal - ’I beg your
pardon, but I thought, maybe, you’d like to
hear it - Alfred would have nobody else up
with him in morning church-time - and made
him read the most - of that Service, Sir.’
Mr. Cope’s eyes glistened, and
he said something huskily of being glad that Alfred
could think of it.
It further appeared that Alfred had
wished very much to see Miss Selby again, and that
Mrs. King had sent the two sisters to the Grange to
talk it over with Mrs. Crabbe, and word had been sent
by Harold that morning that the young lady would come
in the course of the afternoon.
Mr. Cope followed Mrs. King up-stairs;
Alfred’s face lighted up as his sister Matilda
made way for the clergyman. He was very white,
and his breath was oppressed; but his look had changed
very much - it had a strange, still sort
of brightness and peace about it. He spoke in
very low tones, just above a whisper, and smiled as
Mr. Cope took his hand, and spoke to him.
‘Thank you, Sir. It is very nice,’
he said.
‘I thank God that He has let you wait for me,’
said Mr. Cope.
‘I am glad,’ said Alfred.
’I did want to pray for it; but I thought,
perhaps, if it was not His Will, I would not - and
then what you said. And now He is making it
all happy.’
‘And you do not grieve over your year of illness?’
‘I would not have been without
it - no,’ said Alfred, very quietly,
but with much meaning.
‘"It is good for me that I have
been in trouble,” is what you mean,’ said
Mr. Cope.
‘It has made our Saviour seem - I
mean - He is so good to me,’ said Alfred
fervently.
But talking made him cough, and that
brought a line in the fair forehead so full of peace.
Mr. Cope would not say more to him, and asked his
mother whether the Feast, for which he had so much
longed, should be on the following day. She
thought it best that it should be so; and Alfred again
said, ‘Thank you, Sir,’ with the serene
expression on his face. Mr. Cope read a Psalm
and a prayer to him, and thinking him equal to no more,
went away, pausing, however, for a little talk with
Paul in the shop.
Paul did not say so, but, poor fellow,
he had been rather at a loss since Matilda had come.
In herself, she was a very good, humble, sensible
girl; but she wore a dark silk dress, and looked, moved,
and spoke much more like a lady than Ellen: Paul
stood in great awe of her, and her presence seemed
all at once to set him aloof from the others.
He had been like one of themselves
for the last three months, now he felt that he was
like a beggar among them; he did not like to call Mrs.
King mother, lest it should seem presuming; Ellen
seemed to be raised up the same step as her sister,
and even Alfred was almost out of his reach; Matilda
read to him, and Paul’s own good feeling shewed
him that he would be only in the way if he spent all
his time in Alfred’s room as formerly; so he
kept down-stairs in the morning, and went to bed very
early. Nobody was in the least unkind to him:
but he had just begun to grieve at being a burden
so long, and to wonder how much longer he should be
in getting his health again. And then it might
be only to be cast about the world, and to lose his
one glimpse of home kindness. Poor boy! he still
cried at the thought of how happy Alfred was.
He did all he could to be useful,
but he could scarcely manage to stoop down, could
carry nothing heavy, and moved very slowly; and he
now and then made a dreadful muddle in the shop, when
a customer was not like Mrs. Hayward, who told him
where everything was, and the price of all she wanted,
as well as Mrs. King could do herself. He could
sort the letters and see to the post-office very well;
and for all his blunders, he did so much by his good-will,
that when Mrs. King wanted to cheer him up, she declared
that he saved her all the expense of having in a woman
from the village to help, and that he did more about
the house than Harold.
This was true: for Harold did
not like doing anything but manly things, as he called
them; whereas Paul did not care what it was, so that
it saved trouble to her or Ellen.
Talking and listening to Harold was
one use of Paul. Now that it had come upon him,
and he saw Alfred worse from day to day, the poor boy
was quite broken-hearted. Possibly, when at
his work, or riding, he managed to shake off the remembrance;
but at home it always came back, and he cried so much
at the sight of Alfred, and at any attempt of his brother
to talk to him, that they could scarcely let him stay
ten minutes in the room. Then, when Paul had
gone to bed on the landing at seven o’clock,
he would come and sit on his bed, and talk, and cry,
and sob about his brother, and his own carelessness
of him, often till his mother came out and ordered
him down-stairs to his own bed in the kitchen; and
Paul turned his face into the pillow to weep himself
to sleep, loving Alfred very little less than did
his brother, but making less noise about it, and feeling
very lonely when he saw how all the family cared for
each other.
So Mr. Cope’s kind manner came
all the more pleasantly to him; and after some talk
on what they both most cared about, Mr. Cope said,
’Paul, Mr. Shaw of Berryton tells me he has
a capital school-master, but in rather weak health,
and he wants to find a good intelligent youth to teach
under him, and have opportunities of improving himself.
Five pounds a year, and board and lodgings.
What do you think of it, Paul?’
Paul’s sallow face began growing
red, and he polished the counter, on which he was
leaning; then, as Mr. Cope repeated, ‘Eh, Paul?’
he said slowly, and in his almost rude way, ’They
wouldn’t have me if they knew how I’d
been brought up.’
’Perhaps they would if they
knew what you’ve come to in spite of bringing
up. And,’ added Mr. Cope, ’they are
not so much pressed for time but that they can wait
till you’ve quite forgotten your tumble into
the Ragglesford. We must fatten you - get
rid of those spider-fingers, and you and I must do
a few more lessons together - and I think
Mrs. King has something towards your outfit; and by
Whitsuntide, I told Mr. Shaw that I thought I might
send him what I call a very fair sample of a good steady
lad.’
Paul did not half seem to take it
in - perhaps he was too unhappy, or it sounded
like sending him away again; or, maybe, such a great
step in life was more than he could comprehend, after
the outcast condition to which he had been used:
but Mr. Cope could not go on talking to him, for the
Grange carriage was stopping at the gate, and Matilda
and Ellen were both coming down-stairs to receive
Miss Jane. Poor little thing, she looked very
pale and nervous; and as she shook hands with the Curate,
as he met her in the garden-path, she said with a
startled manner, ’Oh! Mr. Cope - were
you there? Am I interrupting ?’
‘Not at all,’ he said.
’I had only called in as I came home, and had
just come down again.’
‘Is it - is it very
dreadful?’ murmured Jane, with a sort of gasp.
She was so entirely unused to scenes of sadness or
pain, that it was very strange and alarming to her,
and it was more difficult than ever to believe her
no younger than Ellen.
‘Very far from dreadful or distressing,’
said Mr. Cope kindly, for he knew it was not her fault
that she had been prevented from overcoming such feelings,
and that this was a great effort of kindness.
’It is a very peaceful, soothing sight - he
is very happy, and not in a suffering state.’
‘Oh, will you tell Grandmamma?’
said Jane, with her pretty look of earnestness; ’she
is so much afraid of its much for me, and she was so
kind in letting me come.’
So Miss Selby went on to the two sisters,
and Mr. Cope proceeded to the carriage, where Lady
Jane had put out her head, glad to be able to ask
him about the state of affairs. Having nothing
but this little grand-daughter left to her, the old
lady watched over her with almost over-tender care,
and was in much alarm both lest the air of the sick-room
should be unwholesome, or the sight too sorrowful for
her; and though she was too kind to refuse the wish
of the dying boy, she had come herself, in order that
‘the child,’ as she called her, might not
stay longer than was good for her; and she was much
relieved to hear Mr. Cope’s account of Alfred’s
calm state, and of the freshness of the clean room,
in testimony of which he pointed to the open window.
‘Yes,’ she said, ’I
hope Mary King was wise enough; but I hardly knew how
it might be with such a number about the house - that
boy and all. He is not gone, is he?’
’No, he is not nearly well enough
yet, though he does what he can to be useful to her.
When he is recovered, I have a scheme for him.’
So Mr. Cope mentioned Mr. Shaw’s
proposal, by which my Lady set more store than did
Paul as yet. Very kind-hearted she was, though
she did not fancy adopting chance-comers into her
parish; and as long as he was not saddled upon Mary
King, as she said, she was very glad of any good for
him; so she told Mr. Cope to come to her for what he
might want to fit him out properly for the situation;
and turning her keen eyes on him as he stood near
the cottage door, pronounced that, after all, he was
a nice, decent-looking lad enough, which certainly
her Ladyship would not have said before his illness.
Miss Jane did not stay long.
Indeed, Alfred could not talk to her, and she did
not know what to say to him; she could only stand by
his bed, with the tears upon her cheeks, making little
murmuring sounds in answer to Mrs. King, who said
for her son what she thought he wished to have said.
Meanwhile, Jane was earnestly looking at him, remarking
with awe, that, changed as he was since she had last
seen him - so much more wasted away - the
whole look of his face was altered by the gentleness
and peace that it had gained, so as to be like the
white figure of a saint.
She could not bear it when Mrs. King
told her Alfred wanted to thank her for all her kindness
in coming to see him. ‘Oh, no,’ she
said, ’I was not kind at all;’ and her
tears would not be hindered. ’Only, you
know, I could not help it.’
Alfred gave her a bright look.
Any one could see what a pleasure it was to him to
be looking at her again, though he did not repent of
his share in the sacrifice for Paul’s sake.
No, if Paul had been given up that Miss Jane might
come to him, Alfred would not have had the training
that made all so sweet and calm with him now.
He turned his head to the little picture, and said,
’Thank you, Ma’am, for that. That’s
been my friend.’
‘Yes, indeed it has, Miss Jane,’
said his mother. ’There’s nothing
you ever did for him that gave him the comfort that
has been.’
‘And please, Ma’am,’
said Alfred, ’will you tell my Lady - I
give her my duty - and ask her pardon for
having behaved so bad - and Mrs. Crabbe - and
the rest?’
‘I will, Alfred; but every one
has forgiven that nonsense long ago.’
‘It was very bad of me,’
said Alfred, pausing for breath; ’and so it was
not to mind you - Miss Jane - when
you said I was ill for a warning.’
‘Did I?’ said Jane.
’Yes - in hay-time - I
mind it - I didn’t mind for long - but
’twas true. He had patience with me.’
The cough came on, and Jane knew she
must go; her grandmother had bidden her not to stay
if it were so, and she just ventured to squeeze Alfred’s
hand, and then went down-stairs, checking her tears,
to wish Matilda and Ellen good-bye; and as she passed
by Paul, told him not to uncover his still very short-haired
head, and kindly hoped he was better.
Paul, in his dreary feelings, hardly
thought of Mr. Cope’s plan, till, as he was
getting the letters ready for Harold, he turned up
one in Mr. Cope’s writing, addressed to the
‘Rev. A. Shaw, Berryton, Elbury.’
‘That’s to settle for
me, then,’ he said; and Harold who was at tea,
asking, ‘What’s that?’ he explained.
‘Well,’ said Harold, ’every
one to his taste! I wouldn’t go to school
again, not for a hundred pounds; and as to keeping
school!’ (Such a face as he made really caused
Paul to smile.) ’Nor you don’t half like
it, neither,’ continued Harold. ’Come,
you’d better stay and get work here! I’d
sooner be at the plough-tail all day, than poke out
my eyes over stuff like that,’ pointing to Paul’s
slate, covered with figures. ‘Here, Nelly,’
as she moved about, tidying the room, ’do you
hear? Mr. Cope’s got an offer of a place
for Paul - five pounds a year, and board
and lodging, to be school-master’s whipper-in,
or what d’ye call it?’
‘What do you say, Harold?’
cried Ellen, putting her hands on the back of a chair,
quite interested. ‘You going away, Paul?’
‘Mr. Cope says so - and
I must get my living, you know,’ said Paul.
‘But not yet; you are not well
enough yet,’ said the kind girl. ’And
where did you say ?’
‘To Berryton.’
’Berryton - oh! that’s
just four miles out on the other side of Elbury, where
Susan Congleton went to live that was housemaid at
the Grange. She says it’s such a nice
place, and such beautiful organ and singing at church!
And what did you say you were to be, Paul?’
‘I’m to help the school-master.’
‘Gracious me!’ cried Ellen.
’Why, such a scholar as you are, you’ll
be quite a gentleman yet, Paul. Why, they school-masters
get fifty or sixty pounds salaries sometimes.
I protest it’s the best thing I’ve heard
this long time! Was it Mr. Cope’s doing,
or my Lady’s?’
‘Mr. Cope’s,’ said
Paul, beginning to think he had been rather less grateful
than he ought.
‘Ah! it is like him,’
said Ellen, ’after all the pains he has taken
with you. And you’ll not be so far off,
Paul: you’ll come to see us in the holidays,
you know.’
‘To be sure he will,’
said Harold; ’or if he don’t, I shall go
and fetch him.’
‘Of course he will,’ said
Ellen, with her hand on Paul’s chair, and speaking
low and affectionately to console him, as she saw him
so downcast; ’don’t you know how poor
Alfy says he’s come to be instead of a son to
Mother, and a brother to us? I must go up and
tell Alf and mother. They’ll be so pleased.’
Paul felt very differently about the
plan now. All the house congratulated him upon
it, and Matilda evidently thought more of him now
that she found he was to have something to do.
But such things as these were out of sight beside
that which was going on in the room above.
Alfred slept better that night, and
woke so much revived, that they thought him better:
and Harold, greatly comforted about him, stood tolerably
quietly by his side, listening to one or two things
that Alfred had longed for months past to say to him.
’Promise me, Harold dear, that
you’ll be a good son to Mother: you’ll
be the only one now.’
Harold made a bend of his head like a promise.
‘O Harold, be good to her!’
went on Alfred earnestly; ’she’s had so
much trouble! I do hope God will leave you to
her - if you are steady and good. Do,
Harold! She’s not like some, as don’t
care what their lads get to. And don’t
take after me, and be idle! Be right-down good,
Harold, as Paul is; and when you come to be ill - oh!
it won’t be so bad for you as it was for me!’
‘I do want to be good,’
sighed Harold. ’If I’d only been
confirmed; but ‘twas all along of them merries
last summer!’
‘And I was such a plague to
you - I drove you out,’ said Alfred.
’No, no, I was a brute to you!
Oh! Alfy, Alfy, if I could only get back the
time!’
He was getting to the sobs that hurt
his brother; and his sister was going to interfere;
but Alfred said:
’Never mind, Harold dear, we’ve
been very happy together, and we’ll always love
each other. You’ll not forget Alf, and
you’ll be Mother’s good son to take care
of her! Won’t you?’
So Harold gave that promise, and went
away with his tears. Poor fellow, now was his
punishment for having slighted the Confirmation.
Like Esau, an exceeding bitter cry could not bring
back what he had lightly thrown away. Well was
it for him that this great sorrow came in time, and
that it was not altogether his birthright that he
had parted with. He found he could not go out
to his potato-planting and forget all about it, as
he would have liked to have done - something
would not let him; and there he was sitting crouched
up and sorrowful on the steps of the stairs, when
Mr. Cope and all the rest were gathered in Alfred’s
room, a church for the time. Matilda and Ellen
had set out the low table with the fair white cloth,
and Mr. Cope brought the small cups and paten, which
were doubly precious to him for having belonged to
his father, and because the last time he had seen
them used had been for his father’s last Communion.
Now was the time to feel that a change
had really passed over the young pastor in the time
of his absence. Before, he could only lead Alfred
in his prayers, and give him counsel, tell him to
hope in his repentance, and on what that hope was
founded. Now that he had bent beneath the hand
of the Bishop, he had received, straight down from
the Twelve, the Power from on High. It was not
Mr. Cope, but the Lord Who had purchased that Pardon
by His own most Precious Blood, Who by him now declared
to Alfred that the sins and errors of which he had
so long repented, were pardoned and taken away.
The Voice of Authority now assured him of what he
had been only told to hope and trust before.
And to make the promise all the more close and certain,
here was the means of becoming a partaker of the Sacrifice - here
was that Bread and that Cup which shew forth the Lord’s
Death till He come. It was very great rest and
peace, the hush that was over the quiet room, with
only Alfred’s hurried breath to be heard beside
Mr. Cope’s voice as he spoke the blessed words,
and the low responses of the little congregation.
Paul was close beside Alfred - he would have
him there between his mother and the wall - and
the two whose first Communion it was, were the last
to whom Mr. Cope came. To one it was to be the
Food for the passage into the unseen world; to the
other might it be the first partaking of the Manna
to support him through the wilderness of this life.
‘From the highways and hedges,’
here was one brought into the foretaste of the Marriage
Supper. Ah! there was one outside, who had loved
idle pleasure when the summons had been sent to him.
Perhaps the misery he was feeling now might be the
means of sparing him from missing other calls, and
being shut out at last.
It seemed to fulfil all that Alfred
had wished. He lay still between waking and
sleeping for a long time afterwards, and then begged
for Paul to read to him the last chapters of the Book
of Revelation. Matilda wished to read them for
him; but he said, ‘Paul, please.’
Paul’s voice was fuller and softer when it
was low; his accent helped the sense, and Alfred was
more used to them than to his visitor sister.
Perhaps there was still another reason, for when
Paul came to the end, and was turning the leaves for
one of Alfred’s favourite bits, he saw Alfred’s
eyes on him, as if he wanted to speak. It was
to say, ’Brothers quite now, Paul! Thank
you. I think God must have sent you to help me.’
Alfred seemed better all the evening,
and they went to bed in good spirits; but at midnight,
Mr. Cope, who was very deeply studying and praying,
the better to fit himself for his new office in the
ministry, was just going to shut his book, and go
up to bed, when he heard a tremulous ring at the bell.
It was Harold, his face looking very
white in the light from Mr. Cope’s candle.
‘Oh! please, Sir,’ he
said, ’Alfred is worse; and Mother said, if your
light wasn’t out, you’d like to know.’
‘I am very grateful to her,’
said Mr. Cope; and taking up his plaid, he wrapped
one end round the boy, and put his arm round him, as
he felt him quaking as Paul had done before, but not
crying - too much awe-struck for that.
He said that his mother thought something had broken
in the lungs, and that he would be choked. Mr.
Cope made the more haste, that he might judge if the
doctor would be of any use.
Paul was sitting up in his bed - they
had not let him get up - but his eyes were
wide open with distress, as he plainly heard the loud
sob that each breath had become. Mrs. King was
holding Alfred up in her arms; Matilda was trying
to chafe his feet; Ellen was kneeling with her face
hidden.
The light of sense and meaning was
not gone from Alfred’s eyes, though the last
struggle had come. He gave a look as though he
were glad to see Mr. Cope, and then gazed on his brother.
Mrs. King signed to Harold to come nearer, and whispered,
‘Kiss him.’ His sisters had done
so, and he had missed Harold. Then Mr. Cope
prayed, and Alfred’s eyes at first owned the
sounds; but soon they were closed, and the long struggling
breaths were all that shewed that the spirit was still
there.
’He shall swallow up death in
victory, and the Lord God shall wipe away tears from
all eyes.’
One moment, and the blue eyes they knew so well were opened
and smiling on his mother, and then -
It was over; and through affliction
and pain, the young spirit had gone to rest!
The funeral day was a very sore one
to Paul Blackthorn. He would have given the
world to be there, and have heard the beautiful words
of hope which received his friend to his resting-place,
but he could not get so far. He had tried to
carry a message to a house not half so far off as
the church, but his knees seemed to give way under
him, and his legs ached so much that he could hardly
get home. Somehow, a black suit, just such as
Harold’s, had come home for him at the same time;
but this could not hinder him from feeling that he
was but a stranger, and one who had no real place
in the home where he lived. There was the house
full of people, who would only make their remarks
on him - Miss Hardman (who was very critical
of the coffin-plate), the school-master, and some of
the upper-servants of the house - and poor
Mrs. King and Matilda, who could not help being gratified
at the attention to their darling, were obliged to
go down and be civil to them; while Ellen, less used
to restraint, was shut into her own room crying; and
Harold was standing on the stairs, very red, but a
good deal engaged with his long hat-band. Poor
Paul! he had not even his usual refuge - his
own bed to lie upon and hide his face - for
that had been taken away to make room for the coffin
to be carried down.
There, they were going at last, when
it had seemed as if the bustle and confusion would
never cease. There was Alfred leaving the door
where he had so often played, carried upon the shoulders
of six lads in white frocks, his old school-fellows
and Paul’s Confirmation friends. How Paul
envied them for doing him that last service!
There was his mother, always patient and composed,
holding Harold’s arm - Harold, who must
be her stay and help, but looking so slight, so boyish,
and so young, then the two girls, Ellen so overpowered
with crying that her sister had to lead her; Mrs.
Crabbe with Betsey Hardman, who held up a great white
handkerchief, for other people’s visible grief
always upset her, as she said; and besides, she felt
it a duty to cry at such a time; and the rest two
and two, quite a train, in their black suits:
how unlike the dreary pauper funerals Paul had watched
away at Upperscote! That respectable look seemed
to make him further off and more desolate, like one
cut off, whom no one would follow, no one would weep
for. Alfred, who had called him a brother, was
gone, and here he was alone!
The others were taking their dear
one once more to the church where they had so often
prayed that he might have a happy issue out of all
his afflictions.
They were met by Mr. Cope, ending
his loving intercourse with Alfred by reading out
the blessed promise of Resurrection - the
assurance that the body they were sowing in weakness
would be raised in power; so that the noble boy, whom
they had seen fade away like a drooping flower, would
rise again blossoming forth in glory, after the Image
of the Incorruptible - that Image, thought
Mr. Cope, as he read on, which he faithfully strove
to copy even through the sufferings due to the corruptible.
His voice often shook and faltered. He had never
before read that Service; and perhaps, except for
those of his own kin, it could never be a greater
effort to him, going along with Alfred as he had done,
holding up the rod and staff that bore him through
the dark valley. And each trembling of his tone
seemed to answer something that the mother was feeling
in her peaceful, hopeful, thankful grief - yes,
thankful that she could lay her once high-spirited
and thoughtless boy in his grave, with the same sure
and certain hope of a joyful Resurrection, as that
ripe and earnest-minded Christian his father, or his
little innocent brother. It was peace - awful
peace, indeed, but soothing even to Ellen and Harold,
new as they were to grief.
But to poor Paul at home, out of hearing
of the words of hope, only listening to the melancholy
toll of the knell, and quite alone in the disarranged
forlorn house, there seemed nothing to take off the
edge of misery. He was not wanted to keep Alfred
company now, nor to read to him - no one
needed him, no one cared for him. He wandered
up to where Alfred had lain so long, as if to look
for the pale quiet face that used to smile to him.
There was nothing but the bed-frame and mattress!
He threw himself down on it and cried. He did
not well know why - perhaps the chief feeling
was that Alfred was gone away to rest and bliss, and
he was left alone to be weary and without a friend.
At last the crying began to spend
itself, and he turned and looked up. There was
Alfred’s little picture of the Crucified still
on the wall, and the words under it, ‘For us!’
Paul’s eye fell on it; and somehow it brought
to mind what Alfred had said to him on Christmas Day.
There was One Who had no home on earth; there was
One Who had made Himself an outcast and a wanderer,
and Who had not where to lay His Head. Was not
He touched with a fellow-feeling for the lonely boy?
Would He not help him to bear his friendless lot
as a share of His own Cross? Nay, had He not
raised him up friends already in his utmost need?
’There is a Friend Who sticketh closer than
a brother.’ He was the Friend that Paul
need never lose, and in Whom he could still meet his
dear Alfred. These thoughts, not quite formed,
but something like them, came gently as balm to the
poor boy, and though they brought tears even thicker
than the first burst of lonely sorrow, they were as
peaceful as those shed beside the grave. Though
Paul was absent in the body, this was a very different
shutting out from Harold’s on last Tuesday.
Paul must have cried himself to sleep,
for he did not hear the funeral-party return, and
was first roused by Mrs. King coming up-stairs.
He had been so much used to think of this as Alfred’s
room, that he had never recollected that it was hers;
and now that she was come up for a moment’s
breathing-time, he started up ashamed and shocked at
being so caught.
But good motherly Mrs. King saw it
all, and how he had been weeping where her child had
so long rested. Indeed, his face was swelled
with crying, and his voice all unsteady.
‘Poor lad! poor lad!’
she said kindly, ’you were as fond of him as
any of them; and if we wanted anything else to make
you one of us, that would do it.’
‘O Mother,’ said Paul,
as she kindly put her hand on him, ’I could not
bear it - I was so lost - till I
looked at that,’ pointing to the little
print.
‘Ay,’ said Mrs. King,
as she wiped her quiet tears, ’that Cross was
Alfred’s great comfort, and so it is to us all,
my boy, whatever way we have to carry it, till we
come to where he is gone. No cross, no crown,
they say.’
Perhaps it was not bad for any one
that this forlorn day had given Paul a fresh chill,
which kept him in bed for nearly a week, so as gently
to break the change from her life of nursing to Mrs.
King, and make him very happy and peaceful in her
care.
And when at last on a warm sunny Sunday,
Paul Blackthorn returned thanks in church for his
recovery - ay, and for a great deal besides - he
had no reason to think that he was a stranger cared
for by no one.