The next frosty day Dora and I set
forth for a visit to the double cottage, where, on
one side, dwelt a family with a newly-arrived baby;
on the other was Dame Jennings’, with the dilapidated
roof and chimney. I was glad to see Dora so happily
and eagerly interested over the baby as to be more
girl-like than I had yet seen her, though, comparing
her to what she had been on her arrival, she was certainly
a good deal softened and tamed. “Domesticated”
would really not have been so inappropriate a word
in her case as it is in advertisements of companions.
We had come to the door, only divided
from Mrs. Jennings’s by a low fence and a few
bushes, when voices struck on our ears, and we saw
Bullock’s big, sturdy, John Bull form planted
in a defiant attitude in the garden-path before the
door, where the old woman stood courtesying, and mingling
entreating protestations against an additional sixpence
a week on her rent with petitions that at least the
chimney might be made sound and the roof water-tight.
There is no denying that I did stand
within the doorway to listen, for not only did I not
wish to encounter Bullock, but it seemed quite justifiable
to ascertain whether the current whispers of his dealings
with the poor were true; indeed, there was no time
to move before he replied with a volley of such abuse,
as I never heard before or since, at her impudence
in making such a demand.
I was so much shocked that I stood
transfixed, forgetting even to draw Dora away from
the sound, while the old woman pleaded that “Mr.
Herod” had made the promise, and said nothing
of increasing her rent. Probably Bullock had
been irritated by the works set on foot at Ogden’s
farm, for he brought out another torrent of horrid
imprecations upon “the meddling convict fellow,”
the least intolerable of the names he used, and of
her for currying favour, threatening her with instant
expulsion if she uttered a word of complaint, or mentioned
the increase of her rent, and on her hesitation actually
lifting his large heavy stick.
We both cried out and sprang forward,
though I scarcely suppose that he would have actually
struck her. But much more efficient help was
at hand. Bullock’s broad back was to the
gate, and he little knew that at the moment he raised
his stick Harold, attracted by his loud railing voice,
leaped over the gate, and with one bound was upon the
fellow, wresting the stick from his hand and laying
it about his shoulders with furious energy.
We all screamed out. Dora, it was suspected,
bade him go on and give it to him well, and perhaps
my wrath with the man made me simply shriek; but the
sense of our presence did (whatever we wished) check
Harold’s violence so far that he ceased his blows,
throwing the man from him with such force that he fell
prone into the poor dame’s gooseberry-bush,
and had to pick himself up through numerous scratches,
just as we had hurried round through the garden.
He had regained his feet, and was
slinking up to the gate as we met him, and passionately
exclaimed: “Miss Alison, you have seen this;
I shall call on you as my witness.”
Dora called out something so vituperative
that my energies went in silencing her, nor do I think
I answered Bullock, though at least it was a relief
to see that, having a great sou’-wester over
all his other clothes, the force of the blows had
been so broken that he could not have any really serious
injury to complain of. It was not unfortunate,
however, that he was so shaken and battered that he
went first to exhibit himself to Dr. Kingston’s
new partner, and obtain a formidable scientific account
of his sprains and bruises; so that Eustace had heard
an account of the affray in the first place, and Dora,
with a child’s innate satisfaction in repeating
personalities, had not spared the epithets with which
Bullock had mentioned the “fool of a squire.”
The said squire, touched to the quick, went out invulnerable
to his interview, declaring that the agent had been
rightly served, only wishing he had had more, and
indignantly refusing Bullock’s offer to abstain
from prosecuting Mr. Harold Alison on receiving a handsome
compensation, and a promise never to be interfered
with again. Eustace replied too much,
I fear, in his own coin with orders to send
in his accounts immediately and to consider himself
dismissed from his agency from that hour; and then
came back to us like a conquering hero, exulting in
his own magnanimous firmness, which “had shown
he was not to be trifled with.”
But he did not like it at all when
Richardson came in trying to look quite impassive,
and said to Harold, “Some one wants to speak
to you sir.”
Harold went, and returned without
a word, except, “You are wanted too, Lucy,”
and I was not equally silent when I found it was to
serve on me an order to appear as witness before the
magistrates the next day, as to the assault upon Bullock.
Eustace was very much annoyed, and
said it was disgraceful, and that Harold was always
getting into scrapes, and would ruin him with all the
county people, just as he was beginning to make way
with them a petulant kind of ingratitude
which we had all learnt to tolerate as “old
Eu’s way,” and Dora announced that if he
was put in prison, she should go too.
It was only a Petty Sessions case,
heard in the justice-room at Mycening, and on the
way the prisoner was chiefly occupied in assuring
the witness that there was nothing to be nervous about;
and the squire, that it would hurt nobody but himself;
and, for his part, fine him as they would, he would
willingly pay twenty times as much to rid the place
of Bullock.
The bench who sat at the
upper end of a table were three or four
Horsmans and Stympsons, with Lord Erymanth in the chair
par excellence, for they all sat on chairs, and they
gave the like to Eustace and me while we waited, poor
Harold having put himself, in the custody of a policeman,
behind the rail which served as bar.
When our turn came, Harold pleaded
“Guilty” at once, not only for truth’s
sake, but as meaning to spare me the interrogation;
and Crabbe, who was there on Bullock’s behalf,
looked greatly baffled and disappointed; but the magistrates
did not let it rest there, since the amount of the
fine of course would depend on the degree of violence,
&c., so both Mrs. Jennings and I, and the doctor, were
examined as witnesses.
I came first; and at first I did not
find the inquiries half so alarming as I expected,
since my neighbours spoke to me quite in a natural
way, and it was soon clear that my account of the matter
was the best possible defence of Harold in their eyes.
The unpleasant part was when Crabbe not only insisted
on my declaring on oath that I did not think Bullock
meant to strike the old woman, but on my actually
repeating the very words he had said, which he probably
thought I should flinch from doing; but he thereby
made it the worse for himself. No doubt he and
Crabbe had reckoned on our general unpopularity, and
had not judged it so as to discover the reaction that
had set in. An endeavour to show that we were
acting as spies on the trustworthy old servant, in
order to undermine him with his master, totally failed,
and, at last, the heavy fine of one shilling was imposed
upon Harold as near an equivalent as possible
to dismissing the case altogether. Lord Erymanth
himself observed to Eustace, “that he felt,
if he might say so, to a certain degree implicated,
since he had advised the dismissal of Bullock, but
scarcely after this fashion.” However,
he said he hoped to have Eustace among them soon in
another capacity, and this elevated him immensely.
The case had taken wind among the
workmen at the potteries; and as we came out at their
dinner-hour, there was a great assemblage, loudly
cheering, “Alison, the poor man’s friend!”
Eustace stood smiling and fingering
his hat, till Captain Stympson, who came out with
us, hinted, as he stood between the two young men,
that it had better be stopped as soon as possible.
“One may soon have too much of such things,”
and then Eustace turned round on Harold, and declared
it was “just his way to bring all the Mycening
mob after them.” Whereat Harold, without
further answer, observed, “You’ll see
Lucy home then,” and plunged down among the men,
who, as if nothing had been wanting to give them a
fellow-feeling for him but his having been up before
the magistrates, stretched out hands to shake; and
as he marched down between a lane of them, turned
and followed the lofty standard of his head towards
their precincts.
Bullock, in great wrath and indignation,
sent in his accounts that night with a heavy balance
due to him from Eustace, which Harold saw strong cause
to dispute. But that battle, in which, of course,
Crabbe was Bullock’s adviser, and did all he
could to annoy us, was a matter of many months, and
did not affect our life very closely. Harold was
in effect Eustace’s agent, and being a very
good accountant, as well as having the confidence
of the tenants, all was put in good train in that
quarter, and Mr. Alison was in the way to be respected
as an excellent landlord and improver. People
were calling on us, and we were evidently being taken
into our proper place. Lady Diana no longer
withheld her countenance, and though she only called
on me in state she allowed Viola to write plenty of
notes to me.
But I must go on to that day when
Harold and Eustace were to have a hunting day with
the Foling hounds, and dine afterwards with some of
the members of the hunt at the Fox Hotel at Foling,
a favourite meet. They were to sleep at Biston,
and I saw nothing of them the next day till Eustace
came home alone, only just in time for a late dinner,
and growled out rather crossly that Harold had chosen
to walk home, and not to be waited for. Eustace
himself was out of sorts and tired, eating little
and hardly vouchsafing a word, except to grumble at
us and the food, and though we heard Harold come in
about nine o’clock, he did not come in, but
went up to his room.
Eustace was himself again the next
morning, but Harold was gone out. However, as,
since he had been agent, he had often been out and
busy long before breakfast, this would not have been
remarkable, but that Eustace was ill at ease, and
at last said, “The fact is, Lucy, he has been
‘screwed’ again, and has not got over it.”
I was so innocent that only Dora’s
passion with her brother revealed to me his meaning,
and then I was inexpressibly horrified and angry, for
I did not think Harold could have broken his own word
or the faith on which I had taken up my abode with
them, and the disappointment in him, embittered, I
fear, by the sense of personal injury, was almost
unbearable.
Eustace muttered something in excuse
which I could not understand, and I thought was only
laxity on his part. I told him that, if such
things were to happen, his house was no home for me.
And he began, “Come now, Lucy, I say, that’s
hard, when ’twas Harold, and not me, and all
those fellows ”
“What fellows?”
“Oh, Malvoisin and Nessy Horsman, you know.”
I knew they were the evil geniuses
of Dermot’s life. Lord Malvoisin had been
his first tempter as boys at their tutor’s, and
again in the Guards; and Ernest, or Nessy, Horsman
was the mauvais sujet of the family, who never was
heard of without some disgraceful story. And
Dermot had led my boys among these. All that
had brightened life so much to me had suddenly vanished.
It was Ash Wednesday, and I am afraid
I went through my Lenten services in the spirit of
the elder son, nursing my virtuous indignation, and
dwelling chiefly on what would become of me if Arghouse
were to be made uninhabitable, as I foresaw.
I was ashamed to consult Miss Woolmer,
and spent the afternoon in restless attempts to settle
to something, but feeling as if nothing were worth
while, not even attending to Dora, since my faith in
Harold had given way, and he had broken his word and
returned to his vice.
Should I go to church again, and spare
myself the meeting him at dinner? I was just
considering, when Mr. George Yolland came limping
up the drive, and the sight was the first shock to
the selfish side of my grief. “Is anything
the matter?” I asked, trying to speak sternly,
but my heart thumping terribly.
“No yes not
exactly,” he said hastily; “but can you
come, Miss Alison? I believe you are the only
person who can be of use.”
“Then is he ill?” I asked,
still coldly, not being quite sure whether I ought
to forgive.
“Not bodily, but his despair
over what has taken place is beyond us all.
He sits silent over the accounts in his room at the
office; will talk to none of us. Mr. Alison
has tried I have Ben and all
of us. He never looks up but to call for soda-water.
If he yields again, it will soon be acute dipsomania,
and then ” he shrugged his shoulders.
“But what do you mean?
What can I do?” said I, walking on by his side
all the time.
“Take him home. Give him
hope and motive. Get him away, at any rate,
before those fellows come. Mr. Tracy was over
at Mycening this morning, and said they talked of
coming to sleep at the ‘Boar,’ for the
meet to-morrow, and looking him up.”
“Lord Malvoisin?” I asked.
And as I walked on, Mr. Yolland told
me what I had not understood from Eustace, that there
had been an outcry among the more reckless of the
Foling Hunt that so good a fellow should be a teetotaller.
Dermot Tracy had been defied into betting upon the
resolute abstinence of his hero nay, perhaps
the truth was that these men had felt that their victim
was being attracted from their grasp, and a Satanic
instinct made them strive to degrade his idol in his
eyes.
So advantage was taken of the Australian’s
ignorance of the names of liqueurs. Perhaps
the wine in the soup had already caused some excitement
in the head unaccustomed to any stimulant
ever since the accident and illness which had rendered
it inflammable to a degree no one suspected.
When once the first glass was swallowed, the dreadful
work was easy, resolution and judgment were obscured,
and the old habits and cravings of the days when poor
Harold had been a hard drinker had been revived in
full force. Uproarious mirth and wild feats
of strength seemed to have been the consequence, ending
by provoking the interference of the police, who had
locked up till the morning such of the party as could
not escape. Happily, the stupefied stage had
so far set in that Harold had made it no worse by offering
resistance, and Dermot had managed to get the matter
hushed up by the authorities at Foling. This
was what he had come to say, but Harold had been very
brief and harsh with him; though he was thoroughly
angered and disgusted at the conduct of his friends,
and repeated, hotly, that he had been treated with
treachery such as he could never forgive.
So we came to the former “Dragon’s
Head,” where Harold had fitted up a sort of
office for himself. Mr. Yolland bade me go up
alone, and persuade him to come home with me.
I was in the greater fright, because of the selfishness
which had mingled with the morning’s indignation,
but I had just presence of mind enough for an inarticulate
prayer through the throbbings of my heart ere knocking,
and at once entering the room where, under a jet of
gas, Harold sat at a desk, loaded with papers and
ledgers, on which he had laid down his head.
I went up to him, and laid my hand as near his brow
as his position would let me. Oh, how it burnt!
He looked up with a face half haggard,
half sullen with misery, and hoarsely said, “Lucy,
how came you here?”
“I came in to get you to walk home with me.”
“I’ll get a fly for you.”
(This would be going to the “Boar,” the
very place to meet these men.)
“Oh no! please don’t. I should like
the walk with you.”
“I can’t go home yet.
I have something to do. I must make up these
books.”
“But why? There can’t be any haste.”
“Yes. I shall put them into Yolland’s
hands and go by the next mail.”
“Harold! You promised to stay till Eustace
was in good hands.”
He laughed harshly. “You have learnt what
my promise is worth!”
“Oh Harold! don’t.
You were cheated and betrayed. They took a wicked
advantage of you.”
“I knew what I was about,”
he said, with the same grim laugh at my folly.
“What is a man worth who has lost his self-command?”
“He may regain it,” I
gasped out, for his look and manner frightened me
dreadfully.
He made an inarticulate sound of scorn,
but, seeing perhaps the distress in my face, he added
more gently, “No, Lucy, this is really best;
I am not fit to be with you. I have broken my
word of honour, and lost all that these months had
gained. I should only drag Eustace down if I
stayed.”
“Why? Oh, why? It
was through their deceit. Oh, Harry! there is
not such harm done that you cannot retrieve.”
“No,” he said, emphatically.
“Understand what you are asking. My safeguard
of an unbroken word is gone! The longing for
that stuff accursed though I know it is
awakened. Nothing but shame at giving way before
these poor fellows that I have preached temperance
to withholds me at this very moment.”
“But it does withhold you!
Oh, Harold! You know you can be strong.
You know God gives strength, if you would only try.”
“I know you say so.”
“Because I know it. Oh,
Harold! try my way. Do ask God to give you what
you want to stand up against this.”
“If I did, it would not undo the past.”
“Something else can do that.”
He did not answer, but reached his
hat, saying something again about time, and the fly.
I must make another effort. “Oh, Harold!
give up this! Do not be so cruel to Dora and
to me. Have you made us love you better than
anybody, only to go away from us in this dreadful way,
knowing it is to give yourself up to destruction?
Do you want to break our hearts?”
“Me!” he said, in a dreamy way.
“You don’t really care for me?”
“I? Oh, Harry, when you
have grown to be my brother, when you are all that
I have in this world to lean on and help me, will you
take yourself away?”
“It might be better for you,” he said.
“But it will not,”
I said; “you will stay and go on, and God will
make your strength perfect to conquer this dreadful
thing too.”
“You shall try it then,”
he said, and he began to sweep those accounts into
a drawer as if he had done with them for the night,
and as he brought his head within my reach, I could
not but kiss his forehead as I said, “Thank
you, my Harry.”
He screwed his lips together, with
a strange half-smile very near tears, emptied the
rest of a bottle of soda-water into a tumbler, gulped
it down, opened the door, turned down the gas, and
came down with me. Mr. Yolland was watching,
I well knew, but he discreetly kept out of sight,
and we came out into a very cold raw street, with the
stars twinkling overhead, smiling at us with joy I
thought, and the bells were ringing for evening service.
But our dangers were not over.
We had just emerged into the main street when a dog-cart
came dashing up, the two cigars in it looming red.
It was pulled up. Harold’s outline could
be recognised in any light, but I was entirely hidden
in his great shadow, and a voice called out:
“Halloo, Alison, how do?
A chop and claret at the ’Boar’ eh?
Come along.”
“Thank you,” said Harold,
“but I am walking home with Miss Alison ”
The two gentlemen bowed, and I bowed,
and oh! how I gripped Harold’s arm as I heard
the reply; not openly derisive to a lady, but with
a sneer in the voice, “Oh! ah! yes! But
you’ll come when you’ve seen her home.
We’ll send on the dog-cart for you.”
“No, thank you,” said
Harold. His voice sounded firm, but I felt the
thrill all through the arm I clung to. “Good
night.”
He attempted no excuse, but strode
on I had to run to keep up with him and
they drove on by our side, and Nessy Horsman said,
“A prior engagement, eh? And Miss Alison
will not release you? Ladies’ claims are
sacred, we all know.”
What possessed me I don’t know,
nor how I did it, but it was in the dark and I was
wrought up, and I answered, “And yours can scarcely
be so! So we will go on, Harold.”
“A fair hit, Nessy,” and
there was a laugh and flourish of the whip. I
was trembling, and a dark cloud had drifted up with
a bitter blast, and the first hailstones were falling.
The door of the church was opened for a moment, showing
bright light from within; the bells had ceased.
“My dear Lucy,” said Harold,
“you had better go in here for shelter.”
“Not if you leave me!
You must come with me,” I said, still dreading
that he would leave me in church, send a fly, and fall
a victim at the “Boar;” and, indeed, I
was shaking so, that he would not withdraw his arm,
and said, soothingly, “I’m coming.”
Oh! that blessed hailstorm that drove
us in! I drew Harold into a seat by the door,
keeping between him and that, that he might not escape.
But I need not have feared.
Ben Yolland’s voice was just
beginning the Confession. It had so rarely been
heard by Harold that repetition had not blunted his
ears to the sound, and presently I heard a short,
low, sobbing gasp, and looked round. Harold
was on his knees, his hands over his face, and his
breath coming short and thick as those old words spoke
out that very dumb inarticulate shame, grief, and
agony, that had been swelling and bursting in his
heart without utterance or form “We
have erred and strayed there is no health
in us ”
We were far behind everyone else almost
in the dark. I don’t think anyone knew
we were there, and Harold did not stand up throughout
the whole service, but kept his hands locked over
his brow, and knelt on. Perhaps he heard little
more, from the ringing of those words in his ears,
for he moved no more, nor looked up, through prayers
or psalms, or anything else, until the brief ceremony
was entirely over, and I touched him; and then he
looked up, and his eyes were swimming and streaming
with tears.
We came to the door as if he was in
a dream, and there a bitterly cold blast met us, though
the rain had ceased. I was not clad for a night
walk. Harold again proposed fetching a carriage
from the “Boar,” but I cried out against
that “I would much, much rather walk
with him. It was fine now.”
So we went the length of the street,
and just then down came the blast on us; oh! such
a hurricane, bringing another hailstorm on its wings,
and sweeping along, so that I could hardly have stood
but for Harold’s arm; and after a minute or
two of labouring on, he lifted me up in his arms,
and bore me along as if I had been a baby. Oh!
I remember nothing so comfortable as that sensation
after the breathless encounter with the storm.
It always comes back to me when I hear the words,
“A man shall be as a hiding-place from the tempest,
a covert from the wind.”
He did not set me down till we were
at the front door. We were both wet through,
cold, and spent, and it was past nine, so long as it
had taken him to labour on in the tempest. Eustace
came out grumbling in his petulant way at our absence
from dinner. I don’t think either of us
could bear it just then: Harold went up to his
room without a word; I stayed to tell that he had
seen me home from church, and say a little about the
fearful weather, and then ran up myself, to give orders,
as Mr. Yolland had advised me, that some strong hot
coffee should be taken at once to Harold’s room.
I thought it would be besetting him
to go and see after him myself, but I let Dora knock
at his door, and heard he had gone to bed. To
me it was a long night of tossing and half-sleep,
hearing the wild stormy wind, and dreaming of strange
things, praying all the time that the noble soul might
be won for God at last, and almost feeling, like the
Icelander during the conversion of his country, the
struggle between the dark spirits and the white.
I had caught a heavy cold, and should
have stayed in bed had I not been far too anxious;
and I am glad I did not, for I had not been many minutes
in my sitting-room before there was a knock at the
door, and Harold came in, and what he said was, “Lucy,
how does one pray?”
Poor boys! Their mothers, in
the revulsion from all that had seemed like a system
of bondage, had held lightly by their faith, and in
the cares and troubles of their life had heeded little
of their children’s devotions, so that the practical
heathenism of their home at Boola Boola had been unrelieved
save by Eustace the elder, when his piety was reckoned
as part of his weak, gentlemanly refinement. The
dull hopeless wretchedness was no longer in Harold’s
face, but there was a wistful, gentle weariness, and
yet rest in it, which was very touching, as he came
to me with his strange sad question, “How does
one pray?”
I don’t know exactly how I answered
it. I hardly could speak for crying, as I told
him the very same things one tells the little children,
and tried to find him some book to help; but my books
no more suited him than my clothes would have done,
till he said, “I want what they said in church
yesterday.”
And as we knelt together, and I said
it, the 51st Psalm came to my mind, and I went through
it, oh! how differently from when I had said it the
day before. “Ah!” he said at the
end, “thank you.”
And then he stood and looked at the
picture which was as his child’s to him, turned
and said, “Well for him that he is out of all
this!”
Presently, when I had marked a Prayer
Book for him, he said, “And may I ask that the the
craving I told you of may not come on so intolerably?”
“‘Ask, and it shall be
given,’” I said. “It may not
go at once, dear Harold. Temptation does come,
but only to be conquered; and you will conquer now.”
We went down to breakfast, where Eustace
appeared in full hunting trim, but Harold in the rough
coat and long gaiters that meant farming work; and
to Eustace’s invitations to the run, he replied
by saying he heard that Phil Ogden had been to ask
him about some difficulty in the trenching work, and
he was going to see to it. So he spent the daylight
hours in one of those digging and toiling tasks of
his “that three day-labourers could not end.”
I saw him coming home at six o’clock, clay
up to the eyes, and having achieved wholesome hunger
and wholesome sleepiness.
Eustace had come in cross. He
had been chaffed about Harold’s shirking, and
being a dutiful nephew, and he did not like it at all.
He thought Harold ought to have come out for his sake,
and to show they did not care. “I do care,”
said Harold. And when Eustace, with his usual
taste, mentioned that they had laughed at the poor
fellow led meekly home by his aunt, Harold laid a
kind hand on mine, which spoke more than words.
I had reason to think that his struggle lasted some
time longer, and that the enemy he had reawakened was
slow of being laid to rest, so that he was for weeks
undergoing the dire conflict; but he gave as little
sign as possible, and he certainly conquered.
And from that time there certainly
was a change. He was not a man without God any
longer. He had learnt that he could not keep
himself straight, and had enough of the childlike
nature to believe there was One who could. I
don’t mean that he came at once to be all I could
have wished or figured to myself as a religious man.
He went to church on Sunday morning now, chiefly,
I do believe, for love of the Confession, which was
the one voice for his needs; and partly, too, because
I had pressed for that outward token, thinking that
it would lead him on to more; but it generally seemed
more weariness than profit, and he never could sit
still five minutes without falling asleep, so that
he missed even those sermons of Mr. Ben Yolland’s
that I thought must do him good.
I tried once, when, feeling how small
my powers were beside his, to get him to talk to this
same Mr. Yolland, whose work among the pottery people
he tried to second, but he recoiled with a tone half
scorn, half reserve, which showed that he would bear
no pressure in that direction. Only he came to
my sitting-room every morning, as if kneeling with
me a few moments, and reading a few short verses,
were to be his safeguard for the day, and sometimes
he would ask me a question. Much did I long
for counsel in dealing with him, but I durst seek none,
except once, when something Mr. Ben Yolland said about
his having expressed strong affection for me, made
me say, “If only I were fitter to deal with
him,” the answer was, “Go on as you are
doing; that is better for him as yet than anything
else.”