October 31st, 1916.
Hallowe’en.
Dearest People:
Once more I’m taking the night-firing
and so have a chance to write to you. I got letters
from you all, and they each deserve answers, but I
have so little time to write. We’ve been
having beastly weather drowned out of our
little houses below ground, with rivers running through
our beds. The mud is once more up to our knees
and gets into whatever we eat. The wonder is
that we keep healthy I suppose it’s
the open air. My throat never troubles me and
I’m free from colds in spite of wet feet.
The main disadvantage is that we rarely get a chance
to wash or change our clothes. Your ideas of
an army with its buttons all shining is quite erroneous;
we look like drunk and disorderlies who have spent
the night in the gutter and we have the
same instinct for fighting.
In the trenches the other day I heard
mother’s Suffolk tongue and had a jolly talk
with a chap who shared many of my memories. It
was his first trip in and the Huns were shelling badly,
but he didn’t seem at all upset.
We’re still hard at it and have
given up all idea of a rest the only way
we’ll get one is with a blighty. You say
how often you tell yourselves that the same moon looks
down on me; it does, but on a scene how different!
We advance over old battlefields everything
is blasted. If you start digging, you turn up
what’s left of something human. If there
were any grounds for superstition, surely the places
in which I have been should be ghost-haunted.
One never thinks about it. For myself I have
increasingly the feeling that I am protected by your
prayers; I tell myself so when I am in danger.
Here I sit in an old sweater and muddy
breeches, the very reverse of your picture of a soldier,
and I imagine to myself your receipt of this.
Our chief interest is to enquire whether milk, jam
and mail have come up from the wagon-lines; it seems
a faery-tale that there are places where milk and
jam can be had for the buying. See how simple
we become.
Poor little house at Kootenay!
I hate to think of it empty. We had such good
times there twelve months ago. They have a song
here to a nursery rhyme lilt, Âpres lé Guerre
Finis; it goes on to tell of all the good times
we’ll have when the war is ended. Every
night I invent a new story of my own celebration of
the event, usually, as when I was a kiddie, just before
I fall asleep only it doesn’t seem
possible that the war will ever end.
I hear from the boys very regularly.
There’s just the chance that I may get leave
to London in the New Year and meet them before they
set out. I always picture you with your heads
high in the air. I’m glad to think of you
as proud because of the pain we’ve made you suffer.
Once again I shall think of you on
Papa’s birthday. I don’t think this
will be the saddest he will have to remember.
It might have been if we three boys had still all
been with him. If I were a father, I would prefer
at all costs that my sons should be men. What
good comrades we’ve always been, and what long
years of happy times we have in memory all
the way down from a little boy in a sailor-suit to
Kootenay!
I fell asleep in the midst of this.
I’ve now got to go out and start the other gun
firing. With very much love.
Yours,
con.