I
Tabs was not very familiar with Chelsea.
He had seen it from the river a score of times, red-walled,
umbrageous and old-fashioned. But of the district
itself he knew next to nothing, save that up to the
war it had been the favorite roosting-place of short-haired
women and long-haired men. He wondered whether
Maisie’s hair was short. He decided in the
negative. To have attracted three husbands in
four and a half years she must be outwardly conventional.
An unconventional woman might persuade one man to
marry her, but not three in such rapid succession.
She probably belonged to the apparently harmless,
sympathetic, sisterly, domestic type. And yet
she must be something more than conventional; millions
of merely conventional women lacked the prowess to
anchor only one man in all the years of their life,
whereas, judging by the Adair incident, Maisie had
not yet completed her list of husbands. There
was an undefined danger in coming into contact with
such a woman, which lent this expedition to Chelsea
an atmosphere of adventure.
Did she know for what purpose he was
visiting her? If she did, she was a bold woman a
strategist. Her position was strengthened by his
coming to her in the guise of an invited guest.
Then he remembered that he had made a bargain with
himself to meet her with a mind unclouded by prejudice.
He had been traveling mean thoroughfares,
when suddenly the cab swung into an old-world street
of dignified respectability and turned again abruptly
into a tiny quadrangle of color-washed, stucco-fronted,
timbered houses. In the center was a lawn, surrounded
with white posts between which black painted chains
hung in loops; the apparent intention was to create
the illusion of a village-green. Tabs entered
instantly into the spirit of the game the
littleness and childishness of the attempt at quaintness.
He liked the bijou privacy of the Court, its greenness
and tidiness, and the absurdity of the narrow windows
which glinted at him like spectacles. But there
was something that he missed.
The driver had climbed down and was
opening the door. “Mulberry Tree Court,
mister. I forget which number you told me; but
there ain’t so much of it that you’re
likely to lose yourself.”
“But where’s the mulberry
tree?” Tabs asked. There was in his voice
the discontent of a disappointed child.
“There never was no mulberry
tree,” the man replied in all seriousness.
“Well, if there isn’t
a mulberry tree,” Tabs laughed, “I suppose
we must make shift to do without it.”
The man frowned and justified himself
grumblingly. “It ain’t my bloomin’
fault. I’ve done nothin’ with yer
bloomin’ tree.”
“I suppose not,” said
Tabs as if the matter were still in doubt.
Feeling in his pocket he paid what
was owing and watched the cab move off. Even
at this last moment he was half-minded to retreat.
What business was it of his to interfere in another
man’s love-affair? He looked stealthily
round the Court to see if eyes were watching.
All the windows were empty; nothing stirred.
The fact that he was not watched reassured him.
He glanced at the number on the nearest door, discovered
in which direction the numbers ran and decided that
his must be the house conspicuous for its marigold-tinted
curtains, standing retiringly in the farthest corner.
Once again he hesitated. Should
he or should he not? The old nursery-rhyme came
wandering into his head with its innocent lilt of
jolliness:
“Here we go round the mulberry-bush,
The mulberry-bush, the mulberry-bush;
Here we go round the mulberry-bush,
So early in the morning.”
“And so we do,” he murmured. “Let’s
take a chance.”
II
The door an apple-green
door was opened by a maid as trim as Ann.
Was Mrs. Lockwood in? She would enquire.
“And your name, please, sir? Lord
Taborley! Certainly.”
She left him waiting in the hall,
while she went to make her fictional enquiries.
He was as sure that they were fictional as if he had
glanced into the room upstairs where Maisie was making
a last anxious inspection before her mirror.
So the pretense was to be that he had called casually
and had scarcely been expected.
He tried to learn something of Maisie
from the appearance of her hall. It was speckless.
Everything in it shone with intense cleanliness and
polish. He had noticed the same gleam about the
windows, brasses and very doorstep before he had entered.
He had noticed it again about the maid who had admitted
him. It sent Maisie up very much in his estimation.
It almost explained to him how she had managed to get
three husbands. Men never know why they fall
in love with a woman; more often than not they mistake
tidiness for beauty. “If you can’t
be beautiful, be clean,” Maisie’s hall
seemed to say; “if you can be both, you’re
invincible.” Maisie was invincible, as her
conquests proved. This first glimpse of her belongings
showed that she loved cleanliness. By a jump
in his logic Tabs began to suspect that she must be
beautiful.
He had pursued his observations thus
far, when he heard a door discreetly closed overhead
and the starchy rustling of the maid returning.
“If your Lordship will step
into the drawing-room, Madam will be down in a moment.”
He found himself in a long artistic
room, feminine to a degree, exquisitely restful and
yet broad-minded with signs of selection and travel.
It was furnished according to no particular period.
There was an Italian chest of drawers inlaid with
ivory, a Dutch marquetry secrétaire, some Louis
XVIth chairs, a mirror of old Venetian glass, bronzes,
snuff-boxes, specimens of china, odd bits of beaten
silver, knick-knacks of all sorts, lying scattered
about with apparent carelessness. A fire was
burning in the grate. Tea was set out on a table
beside a companionable couch. Through French windows
the smallest of gardens shone bravely, a-blow with
bulb flowers planted in crevices of a rockery, at
the foot of which lay an oval pond and a silent fountain.
As though to emphasize the game of littleness, a toy-boat
floated on the pond’s surface.
“Not the woman I had imagined,”
was his unspoken thought; “not the wily adventuress!
But if she’s not, then what ”
In an attempt to satisfy his curiosity,
he commenced to inspect the room in detail. The
first thing he discovered was that all the silver frames,
which stood about, contained photographs of the same
man. It struck him as an odd exhibition of faithfulness
on the part of a woman who had had so many husbands.
He counted the photographs; there were no less than
five of them, recording the same face from varying
angles.
“Which of them, is he,”
he asked himself, “Pollock, Gervis, or Lockwood?
But he mayn’t be any of them. Perhaps he’s
a possible fourth the latest. If so,
here’s hoping, for he shuts out Adair.”
He turned towards the couch, intending
to sit down. As he turned, his gaze encountered
an oil-painting hanging above the mantelpiece.
“By George! How did I manage to miss that?”
He stared at it with intense interest almost
with a sense of shock. Somewhere he
could not determine where he had seen that
face before.
The picture was a half-length portrait
of a woman. There was something extraordinarily
queenly and at the same time patient in her attitude.
Her hands, which were out of sight, seemed to be folded.
She was seated, leaning forward; her head was turned
towards the right, so that her face appeared in profile.
She was in extremely low evening-dress of an aquamarine
shade, flowered with gold. Her shoulders were
sickle-shaped and gleamed like the half-crescent of
a young moon. From her throat, which was full
and white, hung a splendid string of tan-colored pearls.
But it was the slope of her jaw, the way her ears set
back, and the rounded strength of her head that gave
to her that peculiarly alert beauty. Her dark
hair was drawn from off her forehead, making clear
in her features an expression of calm challenge.
She was a woman who had lived and not always happily.
Her calmness was the quiet of almost painful self-control.
And her age With her atmosphere
of experience, it was certainly over thirty.
She was not the woman to put back the hands of time
for any man.
“It can’t be of Maisie,”
he thought, and yet he hoped. “But it can’t
be of her,” he insisted. “This woman
is remote and uncapturable. She’s done
with passion. She’s tasted life to the full
and the taste was bitter. She has nothing left
but her unquenchable pride, with which she tortures
herself: her pride not to submit, not to cry out,
to stand always at bay. That’s all she
has, unless ” And then, speaking
aloud in his effort to remember, “I know her.
I’m positive. And yet ”
The door behind him opened. “This
is nice of you, Lord Taborley. Ah, you
were looking at Di! Most men do that when
they visit me. I ought to be jealous. But
a word of warning; looking is as far as any of them
get.”
Tabs found himself shaking hands with
a woman who shared the features of the woman in the
portrait, but who differed from her in that she was
fair, lacked her alluring remoteness and had much more
of youth to her credit. Whereas the woman in
the portrait looked uncapturable, Maisie’s charm
lay in her accessibility the genial promise
she held out of being willing and even eager to surrender.
Her every tone and gesture proclaimed her anxiety
to find this world a pleasant place her
determination to make it pleasant and to be gay under
every circumstance.
She was as little, flawless and gleaming
as her house. More than half her good looks were
due to the immaculate care which she bestowed on her
body the whiteness of her teeth, the fineness
of her well-kept hands, the brilliant clearness of
her complexion, the wavy smoothness of her abundant
flaxen hair which had been brushed and brushed until
it shone and glinted like raw gold in sunshine.
She would have looked almost too perfect to be genuine,
had it not been for her vivid health. She was
so dainty in her fragility that one longed and yet
scarcely dared to touch her.
The moment she had spoken Tabs had
recognized that nothing that she had done or might
do could obscure her atmosphere of breeding. He
had met men like that, whose sense of race, even when
they were at the lowest depths, had kept them superior
to their environment. A pale woman of spun silk
and gossamer, with cornflower eyes and lips like parted
poppy-petals! This woman could be kind to the
point of folly so kind that her folly would
appear almost virtue. She was a woman who, though
she might love too often, would love so much that to
her much would always be forgiven.
“I must apologize,” Tabs
spoke gently, “for having been found staring
at your picture.”
He did not know it, but men always
spoke gently to Maisie. It was her air of trust
and helplessness that did it, her tender trick of creating
in each man the belief that she relied peculiarly on
him for protection all of which was totally
at variance with the masterly efficiency with which
she ran both herself and her house.
“I was staring at your picture,”
Tabs continued, “because I thought I recognized ”
“I daresay you did,” Maisie
interrupted. “Though you may not have met
her, her face is forever in the papers. Among
the family she’s known as the Princess Czarina
Bolsheviki ”
“She looks it. But is she a princess?”
Maisie laughed. “Not yet,
but it won’t be her fault if she isn’t.
It’ll have to be a prince next time. If
she marries again, she’ll stoop to nothing less.
Look at the way she carries her head; she almost feels
the weight of her coronet already. But she says
she’s had enough of marriage. We’ve
all said that. Poor dear Di, she misses a
lot of fun by her exclusiveness. If I only had
half her wealth ”
She evidently wanted Tabs to ask her
what she would do with it. Her eyes grew round
with spendthrift promises of jolliness, if ever such
wealth should come within reach of her tiny, managing
hands. She looked as mischievously covetous as
a magpie while she waited for him to put the obvious
question.
But Tabs wasn’t interested in
the obvious. He stuck to his enquiry. “What
you’ve told me doesn’t help me to recall
her,” he said. “Who is she?
It’s most annoying to recognize a face and not
to be able to place it against any background.”
Maisie pretended to pout. “You’re
like all the rest of them; you come to see me and
do nothing but talk of her. I’d have hidden
her in the attic long ago, only she’s by Sargent.
She’s too beautiful for hiding, and then no
one can afford to hide her Sargent under a bushel in
these hard times.”
“And still you’ve not told me,”
Tabs reproached her.
III
“Wouldn’t we be more comfortable
sitting down?” Maisie slid between the couch
and the tea-table, making herself comfortable against
a pile of cushions. When Tabs looked round for
a seat, he discovered the strategy of the arrangement
of the furniture. The nearest available chair
to Maisie was at least four yards away; to have selected
it would have been to have isolated himself.
He would have had to have hailed her ridiculously
across the room’s breadth. It was plainly
intended that he should challenge fate and share the
couch, just as Pollock, Gervis, Lockwood, Adair and
so many others had done before him.
All this friendliness would make it
a little difficult for him presently when he broached
the subject of Adair. He had an uneasy feeling
that Sir Tobias wouldn’t approve of this way
of conducting his mission. It was one thing to
fly the white flag of truce while you parleyed with
the enemy; it was quite another to share the same
couch with her in a cozy room, where there were only
the two of you and the jumping flames of the fire
in the grate made the silver on the small round table
glow red. When they weren’t talking there
was no sound. None of the clamor of London reached
them. They might have been in a cave, far removed
from everything that disturbed. And, indeed,
the little piled-up rockery outside the windows, with
the spring flowers blowing and the baby lake, with
the toy-boat drifting on its quiet surface, rather
created the illusion that this was a cave.
A restful lethargy of kindness was
creeping over him. He didn’t want to be
at enmity with anybody, least of all with this dainty
sprite of a woman with the cornflower eyes and the
flaxen hair. He no longer wondered that three
men in succession, weary of the mud of fighting, had
come to her for rest. He could even comprehend
Adair’s treachery, if it had gone so far as
treachery. Adair had found his wife fretful she
had always been crying and hanging round his neck.
Here he had found companionship, secret laughter and
forgetfulness. The world owed any woman a large
debt of liberty who could give men that. Maisie
was the kind of woman who could bury twenty husbands
and go out next morning to meet the twenty-first.
What was far more amazing, she could do it without
frivolity or loss of self-respect. She lived a
day at a time. She made you feel, the moment
you met her, that that was the only tolerable way
of living. The excuse for her philosophy was its
success. She was an expert in happiness so
expert that she could communicate her secret without
waste of words. Probably for most men words were
not necessary; for them their happiness was herself.
From her end of the couch Maisie smiled
at Tabs dreamily. “You’re persistent
when you want anything. I suppose you always get
your desires?”
“The little things, yes,”
he replied. “But the big things they
evade me.”
“You mean Terry.”
She said it without change of tone
or expression, with the same happy smile curling up
the corners of her uncruel mouth. It was disconcerting
to have his private humiliations referred to so frankly,
as though they were fitting subjects for casual conversation.
But, after all, he reminded himself, his business
there was to discuss her equally private affairs.
He was hardly in a position to resent anything she
might say. It was a duel, and she had drawn first
blood. He was quick to see that her purpose in
introducing Terry was to gain an advantage while she
postponed the inevitable discussion of Adair.
She didn’t give him a chance
to reply. “I know all about you and Terry,”
she continued, “and about Braithwaite, too, for
the matter of that. Perhaps why Terry evades
you is because she isn’t one of your really big
things. You may have mistaken her for a big thing.
If she is one of your truly big things, you’ll
get her. You’re one of the few men who get
all that they desire.”
It was possible that she was trying
to flatter him; nevertheless, against his will, the
certainty of her way of talking impressed him.
“What makes you think that I get everything that
I desire?”
She laughed and snuggled closer into
the cushions. “I can’t put it into
words. I just know by looking at you. You
have the air.”
“Then what makes you say that
Terry may not be one of my big things?”
She glanced up at him amused.
“I almost made you angry when I said that. Do
you really want to know? I said it because I don’t
think that she is one of your big things and, what’s
more, you don’t think that she is either.
Now I have made you angry
But you don’t not the sane you, who
was and is and will be to-morrow the you
who’ll outlive this disappointment.”
He was at one and the same time intrigued
and offended by the turn the conversation had taken.
His memory groped back to the first conception he
had had of this woman the woman who tricked
married men, who used scented note-paper, who interpreted
thoughts before they were uttered and forestalled
actions before they had been planned the
woman whom he had been instructed to buy off with
a price. What was he doing discussing his love-affair
with such as her?
His voice was chilling when he spoke.
“It’s very good of you to take such an
interest in me. I ought to be gratified that you
should think you know so much about me, and after
so short an acquaintance so very much more
than I know about myself.”
“But I don’t think; I
do know far more at this moment than you know about
yourself.” Her tones were calm and lazy,
unembarrassed and pleasant. The red glow of the
fire glinting on the silver tea-service seemed the
reflection of her cheerfulness.
“If you’re so certain
that you know, you might tell me,” he said stiffly.
“I know
Do you mind if I smoke?” She leant forward while
he held a match to her cigarette. “I know
that you’re an intensely lonely man. All
men have to be lonely till they’re thirty if
they’re going to get anywhere. They have
no time to spare. You’ve had no time to
spare for women that’s why you don’t
understand them. Women were for you a treat in
store, until the war broke. Then suddenly you
discovered that you had missed the most precious thing
in life. You hadn’t the time to be wise
in your choice, so you turned to some one young and
accessible. Her youth seemed to symbolize all
that you coveted at the moment; it symbolized going
on forever. You weren’t really in love with
her as an individual; you were in love with the thought
of love and youth. You won’t believe it,
but almost any young girl who was beautiful and willing
would have served your purpose. During the terrible
years you’ve clothed her with your own idealism.
You’ve told yourself that it was for her that
you were fighting. You’ve created in your
heart a person she never was and hasn’t it in
her to become. You’ve thought of her as
a second you, with your sense of honor, your
passion for unselfishness, your patience and
experience gained through suffering. The ideal
you’ve set up for her is contradictory and impossible.
Youth isn’t considerate, experienced, unselfish,
patient. For those qualities you have to go to
the middle years. I know what I’m talking
about, for I’ve had three soldier husbands.”
She said it without self-reproach or self-glory as
though it were the sort of thing that might happen
to any woman. “You’ve been finding
out the kind of girl she really is since your return the
kind of girl who prefers General Braithwaite to yourself
and can’t discriminate between the temporary
and the permanent. You’re disappointed
in her. You’ve discovered already that she
isn’t the woman you thought you were loving.
You’re now only pretending that you still care
for her because life would be too empty without your
dream and because the right woman, for whom you’ve
already renewed your search, hasn’t yet turned
up. Somewhere inside you at this moment your
sane self is endorsing every word that I’m saying
as true.”
“That’s not so.” His contradiction
was spoken fiercely.
“But it is so,” the sweet
voice persisted. “You yourself have tacitly
owned it.”
“How?”
There was the sharpness of alarm in
his way of asking. Her assurance had startled
him out of his brief anger.
She laughed softly. “I
think we might have tea; it’ll restore our serenity.
There’s nothing like employing your hands when
you want to keep from losing your temper. A woman
learns that, even when she’s only been married
once. When she’s been married three times,”
the cornflower eyes became suddenly innocent, “she
knows everything. Will you touch the bell?
It’ll save me getting up. How, you
ask. How do I know that you’ve already
renewed your searching? To a man who’s as
head over heels in love as you profess to be all women,
except the one woman, however beautiful, ought to
be hanks of hair and bags of bones. I read your
thoughts when I caught you gazing at my sister’s
portrait. You were saying to yourself, ‘What
if she’s the woman!’ And you’re even
sufficiently detached in your affections to acknowledge
attraction in a horrid little pestering, too-much-married
person like myself.”
IV
It was lucky that the maid selected
that moment for answering the bell. Things were
getting uncomfortably personal. Tabs had the idea
that Maisie had been talking against time till she
should hear the footsteps of her reenforcements.
As the maid entered, she turned towards her with the
brightness of relief.
“That’s splendid of you,
Porter. You guessed what we wanted. Porter
always guesses what I want, Lord Taborley; she’s
my second self. And Porter can tell your fortune
from the cards can’t you, Porter?
Only she never reads the cards on a Sunday; she says
it brings bad luck. If you come here often, you
must try her. You might take that dish from
her. Thanks awfully. There’s
room for it here on this corner of the tray.”
Tabs smiled inwardly while he did
his awkward best to make himself useful. He might
know very little about women, but he knew intuitively
quite a lot about this particular woman. He knew
that Porter had guessed nothing, because nothing had
been left to chance. He knew it as surely as
he had known what Maisie had been doing in front of
her mirror while he had been kept waiting. He
knew that long before his arrival every detail of
his reception had been prepared and planned, and that
Porter had been instructed. The whole morning
had been spent in dusting, sweeping, polishing and
making ready the various dishes of dainty cakes and
neatly-cut sandwiches which were being spread before
him. He was certain that the kindly patronage
of Maisie’s way of addressing Porter was another
part of the conspiracy.
Curiously enough it was Porter who
made him like and trust her more than he had done
as yet. Porter’s eyes, when they rested
on her mistress, embraced her with a slavish worship;
when they rested on him, they warned and dared him.
He had the feeling that the man who made Maisie cry
was likely to feel a knife in his back. Maisie
must be good to be able to call forth such fanatical
loyalty from a humble woman. He began to be infected
by this atmosphere of idolatry. And yet
What was Maisie’s object in
belittling his love for Terry? What did she hope
to gain by it? He hardly dared allow himself to
suspect; thinking in her presence was like speaking
aloud. She heard unspoken words as plainly as
those that were uttered. But the suspicion would
not be suppressed. Had she formed the audacious
plan of winning him for herself? And this despite
her three previous marriages, despite her knowledge
of why he had visited her, despite his knowledge of
Adair!
Quick as a flash her eyes turned on
him with a scarcely perceptible shake of her head.
The door clicked discreetly as Porter left them.
It was like clearing a ring for the second round.
The dangerous intimacy, half tender, half inimical,
returned.
“There’s no harm in being
pleasant,” her voice was musical and pleading,
“however unpleasant the circumstances which have
thrown us together. Taking tea with me doesn’t
set up any social obligation. You won’t
have to know me again or anything like that.
Now that we understand each other
How do you like your tea? Is it two lumps?”
With the tongs poised ready to pounce,
she waited for him to tell her. But he didn’t
tell her; he smiled inscrutably. He wasn’t
sure at what he was smiling. Perhaps it was that
he was happy happy in a worldly-wise fashion
that he had never been with Terry. He could say
anything to this woman and it wouldn’t shock
her there was comfort in that.
But she had scared up a doubt in his
mind that he might have mistaken his kingdom.
Perhaps the recovery of youth wasn’t everything.
There were things very precious in themselves, which
were well lost under certain circumstances. Maisie’s
youth, for instance. She was far more enchanting
now than she could ever have been as a girl. In
losing her youth she had gained in sympathy; it was
that that made her understand him so well. In
a wife you wanted more than youth the knowledge
of a companion. It began to dawn on him that
there might be truth in what she had said. Perhaps
once again she had known him better than he knew himself.
He had been with her less than an hour. He didn’t
completely trust her, and yet here was this astounding
fact: by reason of her experience there were
things he could say to her that he would never dream
of saying to the girl whom he believed he loved best.
And Adair, he, too
“You hadn’t expected that
things would be like this,” she was saying,
“just you and I, sitting like old friends and
drinking tea together. You’d nerved yourself
up for a vulgar row. I know
Well, since you won’t tell me how many lumps,
I’ll give you two.”
As he bent forward to receive the
cup, their hands touched. The contact was electric.
A rush of excited vitality seemed to pour into his
body from hers. The touch was only for a second,
but it left him startled and stark of pretenses.
When he sought her eyes, they were calm as ever.
“You’re a most bewildering woman the
most bewildering I ever met,” he confessed.
“Except my sister,” she corrected.
He glanced up at the portrait and
back to her, comparing the features. “Yes,
I see it now. She is your sister. I ought
to have guessed. But I haven’t met her;
so I don’t except her.”
Maisie busied herself with passing
the dishes. She had a way of making everything
appear conventional by the unruffled quiet with which
she accepted it. At the back of her mind she
seemed to be smiling at the domestic scene she had
achieved with this man, who should have been her enemy.
“No, you haven’t met her,”
she assented. “But until you’ve met
her, you won’t rest; and after you’ve
met her, you won’t rest either. And
so you think I’m bewildering! You thought
something else, which you didn’t have the courage
to put into words. Bewildering and dangerous the
most dangerous woman you’d ever met that
was what you meant.”
He smiled with a shade of embarrassment.
“I might have called you the most disconcerting
woman; you’re all of that. No man of sense,
who valued his peace of mind, would tell any woman
she was dangerous.”
“I don’t see why.
Why shouldn’t he? Do tell me. I shan’t
be offended.” She leant forward, absorbing
him with her childish eyes, her lips parted with expectancy.
“Because ”
Tabs checked himself while he studied the tantalizing
innocence of her expression. He felt certain that
he was going to say something irresistibly unwise.
To gain time he looked away and commenced aimlessly
stirring his cup. “Well, if you must have
it, because to tell a woman that would be to tempt
her to be dangerous.”
“But I love to be tempted,”
she said eagerly; “temptation is the yeast of
life.” And then in a whisper, speaking less
to him than to herself, “A woman knows that
she’s old when temptation ends.”
Like ripples from a stone flung into
water the poignancy of what she had implied rather
than uttered, spread away with a commotion which grew
ever fainter. They sat without change of posture
at either end of the couch, she bending towards him,
he gazing down into his cup as though by staring into
it he could retain his grip on the conventions.
There was no sound, save the rustling of live coals
in the grate. Outside the window the toy boat
floated, a symbol of men’s and women’s
ineffectual childishness, always dreaming of adventures
on which they never set sail. Tabs pondered the
hidden profundity of her words. At last he believed
that through her he understood himself. It wasn’t
youth that he or anybody coveted; it was the more
supreme boon of not growing old. He had just
arrived at this new self-knowledge when she spoke.
“To be tempted means that one’s
wanted wanted dreadfully, so that it hurts.
That’s living to be wanted. Not
to be wanted is worse than death. When you’re
dead, you’re forgotten and you forget. To
be forgotten and to remember is the end of all things.
Not to be wanted when you’re alive is to beat
your flesh against the walls of a tomb. Lord
Taborley, I know what you came for.” He
had set down his cup. She covered his bronzed
hands with her own passionate white ones, overwhelming
him with a rush of words. “You came to accuse
me, to bribe me, to buy me. You didn’t
want to hear me; I was already condemned. Do
you think I don’t know what’s said about
my marriages? I know too well. But it isn’t
vanity that makes me want to be loved. It’s
so right to be loved. It isn’t wickedness.
It’s the terror of not being loved the
same terror that makes you cling to Terry though she
doesn’t want you in return
We all want to believe that we’re wanted.
It’s human. Without that life’s a
blank. One can’t face up
And I ”
She tore her hands from him and buried
her face, sobbing in the cushions.
V
He had done it. By some unaccountable
blunder he had made her cry. What was it he had
said? Only a minute ago she had been so radiant
and smiling. His first thought was of Porter;
she must not know. This crying must be stopped
before she heard it. Any moment she might enter.
Even now she might be listening at the door, preparing
to enter.
Another conjecture rushed into his
mind this sobbing might be part of a prearranged
plan. Tears are the jiu-jitsu of woman’s
art of self-defense. To the world at large the
man is always a villain who has caused them.
“But I didn’t cause them,” he protested
to himself. And then, “Dash it all!
There’s nothing gained by sitting here.
I’ve got to do something.”
He roused himself and limped round
the table to the end of the couch against which her
face was hidden. He could see nothing but the
pale gold of her hair, the ivory whiteness of her
neck and the pitiful heaving of her fascinating shoulders.
She looked extraordinarily like a doll a
broken doll which had been allowed to fall through
some one’s carelessness.
“Confound it! What a brute
I am!” he muttered. “What the dickens
does one do with a woman in hysterics?”
He laid his hand very timidly on her
silky hair. He had had no idea that it was so
silky. “Cheer up!” he said softly.
And then again, “I do wish you’d cheer
up.”
She took not the slightest notice,
save that a small white hand scuttled out like a mouse
from beneath the cushions and commenced a hurried
search. He watched it and formed a hasty guess.
It couldn’t find the thing for which it had
been sent, so he dropped his own large handkerchief
in its path, saw it take possession of it and dive
again beneath the cushions. It made no difference
to the sobbing.
What ought he to do? He couldn’t
endure the sound it wrenched him. He
bent over her, trying to turn her obstinately hidden
face in his direction.
“Maisie!” The word had
slipped out. It didn’t matter. It mattered
so little that he repeated the indiscretion.
“Maisie, you mustn’t break your heart
like that. No one thinks ill of you and you are
wanted. You’re wanted most awfully.
Heaps of people want you.”
The shoulders ceased to heave for
a fraction of a second, but her face still refused
to turn. “Who-oo who wants me?”
Her voice reached him choked with tears and muffled.
Tabs frowned. The question was
a poser. Who did want her? He was blessed
if he knew. There must be people who wanted her Adair,
for instance. But the mention of Adair would
provide her with a reason for a new outburst.
There was only one thing to say under the circumstances,
so he said it. “I do.”
She lay so still that she might have
been dead. It was frightening, this sudden silence
after such a storm of emotion. It was so frightening
that he had to say something more to prove to himself
that she could hear. “You’re beautiful.
You’re so gay when you’re not crying.
I don’t think any man could prevent himself
from wanting you.” And then desperately,
in a last effort, “You’re most tremendously
charming.”
Her face never stirred from the cushions,
but he was aware that surreptitiously his borrowed
handkerchief was being employed industriously.
He had just time to compose his features
before a tear-wet eye blinked up at him. It was
an eye eloquent with gratitude and babyishly blue.
“You’re a dear,” a small voice whispered.
VI
He had been called many things from
time to time, but never before “a dear.”
To be called “a dear” by a beautiful woman
was an entirely new sensation for him. It made
him distinctly uncomfortable almost ashamed.
A gift of this sort, even though it hasn’t been
desired, puts the recipient under an obligation.
When once a woman has dubbed a man “a dear,”
she expects him to live up to the part she has assigned
him. Tabs hoped that she hadn’t been as
sincere as she had sounded.
Taking himself off to the nearest
French window, he stood staring out morosely staring
out at the silly little rockery, with the silly little
pond at the foot of it, containing the silly little
boat that never sailed anywhere. He was cross
with himself and even more cross with her. Why
couldn’t she have behaved sensibly, instead of
bursting like a rain-cloud without warning? She
made mysteries out of everything, out of himself,
Terry and even her sister’s portrait. She
never gave him a complete answer to any question.
She surrounded herself with the atmosphere of a detective
novel. He was half-minded to rush into the hall
and make good his escape before she involved him further.
Sir Tobias could come and conduct his own unpleasantness.
How on earth was he going to tackle her concerning
Adair now that she had called him “a dear”?
But beneath his irritation and always
struggling to surmount it was a quite different emotion an
emotion of tenderness. He kept seeing her as
she had lain there sobbing, so fragile and dispossessed
and broken. It was the whiteness of her neck
that he remembered, the narrowness of her shoulders
and the silkiness of her pale gold hair.
He had been standing at the window
for perhaps five minutes when her voice reached him
from a great distance. “Thanks muchly for
the hanky. I’m better now.”
“I’m glad,” he said
with his back towards her, once again on his guard.
As he turned slowly, she greeted him
with a smile of welcome and nodded towards her sister’s
portrait. “She wouldn’t have cried,
you know.”
“Wouldn’t she?”
He had to say something; that seemed
as good as anything. He made no attempt to approach
her, but stood at bay against the window just where
he had turned. He had arrived at one fixed determination;
whatever happened, he would not again be entrapped
into sharing the couch with her.
In answer to his unenthusiastic enquiry,
Maisie shook her head vigorously like a little girl.
“No, Di wouldn’t. She never
cries. Even when we were children we couldn’t
make her.”
It flashed on Tabs that this conversation
about the unknown woman was intended as a kind of
peace-offering. Not to be ungracious, he roused
himself to a show of interest. “Couldn’t
make her! Surely you weren’t so cruel as
to try?”
“Here’s your hanky,”
she said, tossing the moist, scrunched ball across
to him. “Cruel! We didn’t mean
to be cruel. I suppose we were. She used
to ask us to try. There was a game we played;
we called it Christian Martyrs. She was always
the martyr; she liked it. All she ever did when
we hurt her was to say, ‘Do it harder; I can
bear more than that.’ She was as proud
then as she is to-day of all that she could bear.
I think that’s what made her husband furious.
She seemed always to be saying to him, ‘Do it
harder,’ and he certainly did. But neither
he nor any one else has ever succeeded in making her
cry.”
Tabs glanced at the aloof beauty of
the painted face it was like the face of
a Roman Empress, so proudly secure in its serenity.
“Make her cry! Why should any one want
to make her cry? To do that would be a kind of
blasphemy.”
“That’s why,” Maisie
clasped her hands eagerly. “You’ve
said it for me exactly. I’ve never known
how to put it. It’s the holiness of God
that tempts men to revile Him. He evades them,
outlasts them and yet compels their affection.
They have no power over Him and can’t destroy
Him, though they can destroy everything else in the
world. What a man loves and has no power over,
he longs to destroy; either that, or to drag it down
to his own level, so that he can get his arms round
it and comfort its weakness and hug it to his breast.
It was that way with Di and her husband.
He couldn’t drag her down. He couldn’t
find her weakness. She was always up there.
So he reviled her.”
A silence fell between them.
They stared at each other across the room’s
breadth, finding each in the other something at the
same time intimate and incomprehensible; each feeling
that they stood on the verge of a discovery.
It was Tabs who spoke.
“Was! Then he’s dead?”
She barely nodded. “Killed
at the Somme, poor fellow. He must have hated
her to the end. In everything else he was large
and splendid.”
“And his name?”
Again Tabs was striving to remember
where he had seen the unknown woman’s face.
He had seen it of that he was certain.
He had the sense that the circumstances under which
he had seen it had been tragic. If he could only
make Maisie reveal the name, he might recall.
VII
“His name was Lord Dawn.”
Seeing the instant puckering of his brows, she asked
quickly, “You knew him?”
“Knew him!” Tabs pondered
the question. “I’m not sure.
But Lady Dawn I’ve heard a good deal
about her. She had a nursing unit in France,
didn’t she? Of course she had; you and Terry
were with her. It was in her hospital that Terry
met Braithwaite. She passed me yesterday, driving
with the Queen in the Park; not that I noticed her.
It was Terry who did that.” He came slowly
over from the window to the fireplace and stood gazing
level with the picture above the mantelpiece.
He spoke wonderingly, “The most beautiful woman
in England, they say! So this is Lady Dawn!”
When he had finished his inspection,
his interest and absorption were so great that he
did what he had vowed he would never do again he
sat down for a second time on the couch beside her.
“There’s something wrong,”
he said quietly. “Either you’re misinformed
or I’m mistaken. Let’s get things
straight.”
She made no attempt to conceal her
amusement. She attributed his seriousness to
sudden infatuation an infatuation which
made him seem ridiculously inconstant after his recent
professions concerning Terry.
“Something wrong!” she
echoed mockingly. “If you think that I’ve
exaggerated anything that I’ve told you about ”
She glanced up at the portrait. “I don’t
think I’m likely to be misinformed. After
all, I’m her ”
“I didn’t mean that,”
he interrupted impatiently. “I was referring
to Lord Dawn. If he’s the same man, I think
both you and she have misjudged him.”
Maisie laughed. “Lord Dawn
was sufficiently definite. I’m not misjudging
him. He left no room for misjudgment.”
“But you said that he had died hating her.”
“He did, as far as we know. He gave no
sign to the contrary.”
“But does she, Lady Dawn, think that?”
“Think that he hated her?”
“No, that he died hating her?”
Maisie picked up a cigarette from
the table and looked to Tabs for a match. She
was getting bored. “Why, certainly.
One doesn’t want to be cynical, but all the
deaths on the casualty-lists weren’t total losses.
Some of them were releases. They weren’t
all well, to put it mildly, occasions for
wearing the deepest mourning. There were English
wives to whom German shells were merciful more
merciful than English law. If they took lives,
there were cases in which they restored freedom.”
As Tabs struck a match and held it
to her cigarette, his hand trembled. He had to
steady his passion before he asked his question.
“And you think that she, Lady Dawn, was one
of these?”
Maisie blew out a lazy puff of smoke.
“Everybody thinks so.” Then she added
pointedly, “Everybody who knows her and has a
right to an opinion.”
Tabs refused to be put off. There
was a polite forbearance in his tone when he spoke.
“The first thing to do is to make sure that my
Dawn was the same as yours. Mine was known to
us by no title; he was a Captain in the same battalion
as myself. He was killed in front of Pozieres. Ah,
I see by the way you start, that so was yours!
But here’s where the difference comes in; mine
loved his wife, if she was his wife, more dearly than
any man I have known. His devotion was the talk
of the regiment.”
She flipped the ash off her cigarette.
“Then that puts him out of the running, doesn’t
it?”
It was the studied carelessness of
her gesture that released the trigger of his indignation
and made it leap out beyond control. There was
in his mind the vision of those blood-baths of the
Somme, where men had drowned in the putrescence and
been flattened by shells like flies against a wall.
They hadn’t all been good before they had reached
their ordeal. They had come, as most men come,
from every kind of prison-house of lust and human
error. But they’d been good when they had
died. They’d been reborn into valor and
tenderness. And now, to hear their imperfections
discussed in this pleasant room, so entirely feminine,
where everything was safe and warm! Their imperfections
were so small as compared with their sacrifice.
Modern-day Christs, that’s what they were!
Christs by the thousands, who had found no Josephs
of Arimathea to hide their defilement in garden-sepulchres.
There they lay at this moment in the wilderness of
corruption where they had fallen, while living people
between puffs of cigarettes, undertook to explain why
they should not be regretted.
“Puts him out of the running! It doesn’t.”
He leapt to his feet and commenced
to drag himself up and down the room, limping backwards
and forwards, while she pressed lazily against the
cushions at a loss to account for his excitement.
“It doesn’t,” he
repeated, pausing opposite to her. “He’s
still in the running. The Dawn whom I knew was
a very silent man. He was a man with a sorrow.
It made him careless. He was in the war to die.
We all knew it. The men adored him because of
it. He was the finest officer in the finest of
battalions.”
He became aware that he was frightening
her and sank his voice. The lowered tone only
made what he said the more dreadfully impressive.
“There was something funny about
him.” He all but whispered it. “Something
funny that we couldn’t understand. We couldn’t
understand why he should want so much to die.
The reason why we couldn’t understand was a
woman’s photograph.”
She looked up at him timidly. “Yes!”
“Wherever he went he carried
it. When he went into an attack, he carried it
next his heart. In billets he slept with it beneath
his pillow. He pinned it against the walls of
dug-outs. That was where I saw it. I remember
now. It was smeared with the mud of a hundred
trenches Boche trenches as well as ours.
It looked down on curious sights, did that woman’s
printed face in the photo.” He laughed harshly.
“Sights that those of us who were there will
spend the rest of our lives in an effort to forget.
And here you and I sit and talk
Well, as I was saying, we couldn’t fathom why
he should be so keen on death when there was that
woman in the world for whom he cared for
whom he cared right up to the last. It was at
the Somme, in the attack on Pozieres, that he went
west. He was in command of a company that got
cut off. When we found him, he had that bit of
cardboard so tightly clasped that we couldn’t
take it from him.”
He paused, suddenly exhausted.
His indignation had burnt itself out. “I’m
tired,” he apologized. “I’m
afraid I let myself get out of hand. I scared
you for a moment. I’m sorry. Do you
mind if I sit down?”
She pushed the table back to make
it easier for him to take a place beside her.
“It’s all right,” she consoled him.
“I know that you’re only just out of hospital.
Terry told me. You’re not really recovered
yet. Besides, it was my fault; I spoke lightly.
I wasn’t thinking what I said. But I don’t
feel lightly about these things. I couldn’t.”
Then she said something which struck him oddly.
“You know my man’s out there.”
What did she mean by her man?
If she had said her men, he could have comprehended.
She had lost three husbands in the war. But why
did she particularize and say, “My man”?
It seemed cruel to the rest. And which of the
three was it that she regarded as so peculiarly hers.
He jerked his thoughts back.
“There was something you told me about Lord
Dawn; you said it explained him. How did it go?
I think you said that he hated his wife as men hate
God, because they love Him so much and yet He won’t
come down. Well, out there it wasn’t like
that. Dawn climbed up to her; yes, and perhaps
beyond her. Out there he didn’t need to
pretend to hate her; he could afford to love her without
loss of self-respect. I suppose he thought it
was too late to tell her after all that had gone before.”
“Either that,” Maisie
assented, “or else It would
be like him. Or else because he was too much
of a sportsman. As it was, if he were killed,
she wouldn’t need to be sorry. But if he
wrote her that he loved her and had always loved her,
and then got killed Don’t
you see, that’s where her remorse would start?”
Tabs nodded. “And yet she
was his last thought. She ought to know it.
It’s monstrous that she should go on believing ”
He broke off. And then, “She must be told.
It’s merest justice whatever it costs.”
VIII
The light had been failing while they
had talked. A tap fell on the door. Coming
at that moment when their nerves were jangled, it sounded
ominous. Their heads turned sharply. Maisie’s
voice was unsteady when she asked, “What is
it? What do you want?”
“It’s Porter, Madam. Dinner is served.”
“Oh, come in, Porter. Have you laid a place
for Lord Taborley?”
As the maid entered, Tabs rose.
“I had no idea Why, I’ve
been here for hours. I really must apologize,
Mrs. Lockwood, and be going.”
However much his reception had been
prearranged, dinner had formed no part of the program.
The slightly puzzled expression on Maisie’s
watch-dog’s face betrayed that fact to him at
a glance.
Maisie laid an arresting hand on his
arm. To the maid she said cheerfully, “It’s
all right, Porter; Lord Taborley is staying.”
As Porter was making her exit, he
commenced again to protest. Maisie silenced his
objections by leaning against him warningly. “You’ve
talked of everything except me,” she whispered;
“it was about me you came to talk. You
must before we part.”
Following her across the hall to the
dining-room, he reflected on her ability for getting
him into deeper and yet deeper water. He had the
feeling that he was being led somewhere against his
will somewhere that might be for his good
or for his harm, but which would inevitably cut him
off from many of his old affections. He had the
discomforting sense that he was doing something disloyal
to Terry. Heaven knew what promises might not
be exacted from him before the evening ended.
When would it end? He would have to stay for
at least an hour after coffee that would
bring him to nine o’clock. Sir Tobias Beddow
would have been expecting him long before that to
deliver his account of the result of his mission.
Furthermore, Sir Tobias would be demanding an explanation
as to how it was that, having asked for Terry’s
hand the night before, he was still unengaged to her.
If he postponed the interview till to-morrow, it would
create the appearance of lukewarmness. He couldn’t
very well excuse himself by saying that he’d
spent the afternoon and evening with Maisie.
And he couldn’t get Maisie to let him off on
the plea that Sir Tobias, her harshest critic, was
waiting for him. Besides, he had accomplished
nothing as yet; Adair Easterday had not been mentioned.
If ever he made good his escape, he
prayed that he might never again encounter a woman
possessed of charm. His paramount desire was to
seize his hat and make a furtive exit. There
was nothing to prevent him but the politeness due
from a man to a woman and she traded on
it. As he passed into the dining-room he was
secretly on his guard. “I wonder what she’ll
do next to inveigle me?” was his thought.
“It’ll be only a little
dinner,” she explained as they seated themselves.
“You weren’t expected. But Porter
always has something hidden away for an emergency.
Don’t you, Porter?”
He was getting accustomed to these
asides addressed to Porter. He began to perceive
that Porter had other uses besides gliding round the
table in a cap and apron. She was a conversational
stop-gap when situations grew awkward, as they frequently
must between an ensnared bachelor and an unchaperoned
widow.
And she was eligible; he had to own
it as they sat down to their first meal together.
Tea hadn’t counted as a meal; you can serve tea
to anybody. But dinner for two, in an oak-paneled
room, when the spring dusk is falling is different.
The table was lit by four naked candles. Looped
back from the windows hung the marigold-tinted curtains,
revealing in triangular patches the courtyard, with
its mock village-green and its quaintly timbered houses.
It looked very real in the half-light. An electric
street-lamp stood out sharply against the fading sky,
placid and contemplative as an unclouded moon.
Several houses away a woman was singing. Sometimes
her voice sank so that he lost the air; but once,
when it rose, he caught the words, “Crushing
out life, than waving me farewell.” He
knew what she was singing then and followed the air
in his imagination. The atmosphere of the room
was vibrant with romance; all that was lacking was
his impulse to be romantic.
Maisie was chattering gayly and forestalling
his wants. He reserved a small portion of his
mind for her conversation sufficient to
enable him to reply “Yes” or “No”
when the occasion seemed to demand it. It was
clear to him that it made her happy to have a man so
entirely at her mercy. She meant immensely well
by him. Behind her mist of words she seemed to
be saying, “Isn’t it nice to be just we
two together?”
But he was thinking of the other three
soldiermen who had played the game of being “just
we two together” before him. The singing
voice, drifting through the courtyard, put into words
the question of his thought, “Where are you
now? Where are you now?” Yes, where were
they?
He felt pity and distaste for Maisie
in equal proportions. Those men had each in turn
caressed her, dipped their hands in the largesse of
her pale gold hair, seen their souls’ reflection
in the cornflower innocence of her eyes, drunk forgetfulness
from the poppy-petals of her mouth and gone away to
die, believing she was wholly theirs. How little
of her was theirs now! She was almost virginal as
though she had never been touched by their passion.
And yet there seemed to be one of them whose memory
had outstayed the rest, for she had said, “You
know, my man’s out there.” Was she
merely a light, predatory woman or
Or very loving and lonely?
She was speaking more seriously now.
“We mustn’t tell her. It’s natural
to be sorry for him now that he’s dead.”
He picked up the thread and guessed that she was referring
to Lord Dawn.
“We must tell her,” he said.
“But we mustn’t,”
she urged. “For years he tried to make her
wretched. There were rumors of other women.
She’s found peace at last. It wouldn’t
help him to let her know that he had died loving her
out there. He’s beyond any help of ours.
They all are.” He surmised who the they
were: the three soldiermen who had sat there
before him. In pleading for silence for others,
she was pleading for silence for herself. Again
she was defending herself against his thoughts.
“All of the dead had their chance. Lord
Dawn had; there were so many years in which he might
have told her. To tell her now would be to rob ”
She broke off as the maid reentered
with the coffee. Her tone changed instantly to
one of convention. “Not here, Porter.
We’ll have it in the drawing-room.”
As he followed her out across the
hall, he glanced at his watch. It was past eight
o’clock. He could lose no more time.
He must plunge boldly into the subject of his mission
and bring his visit promptly to an end. He dreaded
the temptation of that feminine room, with its coziness
and security and quiet. It made him too much
alone with her; she was not a woman that it was wise
to be alone with too long.
The moment the maid had left them
and the door had closed, he became confirmed in the
sanity of this decision. Everything in the room
appealed to him to procrastinate. The curtains
before the French windows were closely drawn.
The hearth had been swept in their absence; the fire
glowed more companionably than ever. About the
table, where the coffee waited, a solitary lamp shed
a golden blur. It was heavily shaded with yellow
silk, so that most of its light escaped their faces
and fell downwards.
She had seated herself on the couch.
When she had filled both cups, she glanced up at him
smilingly, patting the vacant place beside her as a
sign that he should occupy it. He was standing
before the fire, looking immensely tall in the semi-darkness.
He could see her plainly where she sat beneath the
lamp; but of him she could see nothing but his outline,
for his eyes were lost in shadow. When he seemed
not to have noticed her sign, “Come,”
she said coaxingly. “You don’t spare
yourself at all. You make yourself tired by so
much standing.”
“Mrs. Lockwood ”
She started as he called her that. Twice already
she had been Maisie to him. “Mrs. Lockwood,
as you reminded me before dinner, it was about you
that I came here to talk. Let’s get it over.
I haven’t any idea how far things have gone.
I should like to believe that nine-tenths of what’s
said is nothing more than gossip. But why can’t
you let him alone? He may mean nothing or a tremendous
lot to you but why can’t you?”