Mr. Beebe was right. Lucy never
knew her desires so clearly as after music. She
had not really appreciated the clergyman’s wit,
nor the suggestive twitterings of Miss Alan.
Conversation was tedious; she wanted something big,
and she believed that it would have come to her on
the wind-swept platform of an electric tram. This
she might not attempt. It was unladylike.
Why? Why were most big things unladylike?
Charlotte had once explained to her why. It was
not that ladies were inferior to men; it was that
they were different. Their mission was to inspire
others to achievement rather than to achieve themselves.
Indirectly, by means of tact and a spotless name,
a lady could accomplish much. But if she rushed
into the fray herself she would be first censured,
then despised, and finally ignored. Poems had
been written to illustrate this point.
There is much that is immortal in
this medieval lady. The dragons have gone, and
so have the knights, but still she lingers in our midst.
She reigned in many an early Victorian castle, and
was Queen of much early Victorian song. It is
sweet to protect her in the intervals of business,
sweet to pay her honour when she has cooked our dinner
well. But alas! the creature grows degenerate.
In her heart also there are springing up strange desires.
She too is enamoured of heavy winds, and vast panoramas,
and green expanses of the sea. She has marked
the kingdom of this world, how full it is of wealth,
and beauty, and war-a radiant crust, built
around the central fires, spinning towards the receding
heavens. Men, declaring that she inspires them
to it, move joyfully over the surface, having the
most delightful meetings with other men, happy, not
because they are masculine, but because they are alive.
Before the show breaks up she would like to drop the
august title of the Eternal Woman, and go there as
her transitory self.
Lucy does not stand for the medieval
lady, who was rather an ideal to which she was bidden
to lift her eyes when feeling serious. Nor has
she any system of revolt. Here and there a restriction
annoyed her particularly, and she would transgress
it, and perhaps be sorry that she had done so.
This afternoon she was peculiarly restive. She
would really like to do something of which her well-wishers
disapproved. As she might not go on the electric
tram, she went to Alinari’s shop.
There she bought a photograph of Botticelli’s
“Birth of Venus.” Venus, being a
pity, spoilt the picture, otherwise so charming, and
Miss Bartlett had persuaded her to do without it.
(A pity in art of course signified the nude.) Giorgione’s
“Tempesta,” the “Idolino,”
some of the Sistine frescoes and the Apoxyomenos,
were added to it. She felt a little calmer then,
and bought Fra Angelico’s “Coronation,”
Giotto’s “Ascension of St. John,”
some Della Robbia babies, and some Guido Reni Madonnas.
For her taste was catholic, and she extended uncritical
approval to every well-known name.
But though she spent nearly seven
lire, the gates of liberty seemed still unopened.
She was conscious of her discontent; it was new to
her to be conscious of it. “The world,”
she thought, “is certainly full of beautiful
things, if only I could come across them.”
It was not surprising that Mrs. Honeychurch disapproved
of music, declaring that it always left her daughter
peevish, unpractical, and touchy.
“Nothing ever happens to me,”
she reflected, as she entered the Piazza Signoria
and looked nonchalantly at its marvels, now fairly
familiar to her. The great square was in shadow;
the sunshine had come too late to strike it.
Neptune was already unsubstantial in the twilight,
half god, half ghost, and his fountain plashed dreamily
to the men and satyrs who idled together on its marge.
The Loggia showed as the triple entrance of a cave,
wherein many a deity, shadowy, but immortal, looking
forth upon the arrivals and departures of mankind.
It was the hour of unreality-the hour,
that is, when unfamiliar things are real. An older
person at such an hour and in such a place might think
that sufficient was happening to him, and rest content.
Lucy desired more.
She fixed her eyes wistfully on the
tower of the palace, which rose out of the lower darkness
like a pillar of roughened gold. It seemed no
longer a tower, no longer supported by earth, but some
unattainable treasure throbbing in the tranquil sky.
Its brightness mesmerized her, still dancing before
her eyes when she bent them to the ground and started
towards home.
Then something did happen.
Two Italians by the Loggia had been
bickering about a debt. “Cinque lire,”
they had cried, “cinque lire!” They sparred
at each other, and one of them was hit lightly upon
the chest. He frowned; he bent towards Lucy with
a look of interest, as if he had an important message
for her. He opened his lips to deliver it, and
a stream of red came out between them and trickled
down his unshaven chin.
That was all. A crowd rose out
of the dusk. It hid this extraordinary man from
her, and bore him away to the fountain. Mr. George
Emerson happened to be a few paces away, looking at
her across the spot where the man had been. How
very odd! Across something. Even as she caught
sight of him he grew dim; the palace itself grew dim,
swayed above her, fell on to her softly, slowly, noiselessly,
and the sky fell with it.
She thought - “Oh, what have I done?”
“Oh, what have I done?” she murmured,
and opened her eyes.
George Emerson still looked at her,
but not across anything. She had complained of
dullness, and lo! one man was stabbed, and another
held her in his arms.
They were sitting on some steps in
the Uffizi Arcade. He must have carried
her. He rose when she spoke, and began to dust
his knees. She repeated:
“Oh, what have I done?”
“You fainted.”
“I-I am very sorry.”
“How are you now?”
“Perfectly well-absolutely well.”
And she began to nod and smile.
“Then let us come home. There’s no
point in our stopping.”
He held out his hand to pull her up.
She pretended not to see it. The cries from the
fountain-they had never ceased-rang
emptily. The whole world seemed pale and void
of its original meaning.
“How very kind you have been!
I might have hurt myself falling. But now I am
well. I can go alone, thank you.”
His hand was still extended.
“Oh, my photographs!” she exclaimed suddenly.
“What photographs?”
“I bought some photographs at
Alinari’s. I must have dropped them out
there in the square.” She looked at him
cautiously. “Would you add to your kindness
by fetching them?”
He added to his kindness. As
soon as he had turned his back, Lucy arose with the
running of a maniac and stole down the arcade towards
the Arno.
“Miss Honeychurch!”
She stopped with her hand on her heart.
“You sit still; you aren’t fit to go home
alone.”
“Yes, I am, thank you so very much.”
“No, you aren’t. You’d go openly
if you were.”
“But I had rather-
“Then I don’t fetch your photographs.”
“I had rather be alone.”
He said imperiously - “The
man is dead-the man is probably dead; sit
down till you are rested.” She was bewildered,
and obeyed him. “And don’t move till
I come back.”
In the distance she saw creatures
with black hoods, such as appear in dreams. The
palace tower had lost the reflection of the declining
day, and joined itself to earth. How should she
talk to Mr. Emerson when he returned from the shadowy
square? Again the thought occurred to her, “Oh,
what have I done?”-the thought that
she, as well as the dying man, had crossed some spiritual
boundary.
He returned, and she talked of the
murder. Oddly enough, it was an easy topic.
She spoke of the Italian character; she became almost
garrulous over the incident that had made her faint
five minutes before. Being strong physically,
she soon overcame the horror of blood. She rose
without his assistance, and though wings seemed to
flutter inside her, she walked firmly enough towards
the Arno. There a cabman signalled to them; they
refused him.
“And the murderer tried to kiss
him, you say-how very odd Italians are!-and
gave himself up to the police! Mr. Beebe was saying
that Italians know everything, but I think they are
rather childish. When my cousin and I were at
the Pitti yesterday-What was that?”
He had thrown something into the stream.
“What did you throw in?”
“Things I didn’t want,” he said
crossly.
“Mr. Emerson!”
“Well?”
“Where are the photographs?”
He was silent.
“I believe it was my photographs that you threw
away.”
“I didn’t know what to
do with them,” he cried, and his voice was that
of an anxious boy. Her heart warmed towards him
for the first time. “They were covered
with blood. There! I’m glad I’ve
told you; and all the time we were making conversation
I was wondering what to do with them.”
He pointed down-stream. “They’ve gone.”
The river swirled under the bridge, “I did mind
them so, and one is so foolish, it seemed better that
they should go out to the sea-I don’t
know; I may just mean that they frightened me.”
Then the boy verged into a man. “For something
tremendous has happened; I must face it without getting
muddled. It isn’t exactly that a man has
died.”
Something warned Lucy that she must stop him.
“It has happened,” he repeated, “and
I mean to find out what it is.”
“Mr. Emerson-
He turned towards her frowning, as
if she had disturbed him in some abstract quest.
“I want to ask you something before we go in.”
They were close to their pension.
She stopped and leant her elbows against the parapet
of the embankment. He did likewise. There
is at times a magic in identity of position; it is
one of the things that have suggested to us eternal
comradeship. She moved her elbows before saying:
“I have behaved ridiculously.”
He was following his own thoughts.
“I was never so much ashamed
of myself in my life; I cannot think what came over
me.”
“I nearly fainted myself,”
he said; but she felt that her attitude repelled him.
“Well, I owe you a thousand apologies.”
“Oh, all right.”
“And-this is the
real point-you know how silly people are
gossiping-ladies especially, I am afraid-you
understand what I mean?”
“I’m afraid I don’t.”
“I mean, would you not mention it to any one,
my foolish behaviour?”
“Your behaviour? Oh, yes, all right-all
right.”
“Thank you so much. And would you-
She could not carry her request any
further. The river was rushing below them, almost
black in the advancing night. He had thrown her
photographs into it, and then he had told her the
reason. It struck her that it was hopeless to
look for chivalry in such a man. He would do her
no harm by idle gossip; he was trustworthy, intelligent,
and even kind; he might even have a high opinion of
her. But he lacked chivalry; his thoughts, like
his behaviour, would not be modified by awe. It
was useless to say to him, “And would you-”
and hope that he would complete the sentence for himself,
averting his eyes from her nakedness like the knight
in that beautiful picture. She had been in his
arms, and he remembered it, just as he remembered
the blood on the photographs that she had bought in
Alinari’s shop. It was not exactly that
a man had died; something had happened to the living:
they had come to a situation where character tells,
and where childhood enters upon the branching paths
of Youth.
“Well, thank you so much,”
she repeated, “How quickly these accidents do
happen, and then one returns to the old life!”
“I don’t.”
Anxiety moved her to question him.
His answer was puzzling - “I shall probably
want to live.”
“But why, Mr. Emerson? What do you mean?”
“I shall want to live, I say.”
Leaning her elbows on the parapet,
she contemplated the River Arno, whose roar was suggesting
some unexpected melody to her ears.