What say of it? what say of CONSCIENCE
grim,
That spectre in my path?
Chamberlayne’s
Pharronida.
LET me call myself, for the present,
William Wilson. The fair page now lying before
me need not be sullied with my real appellation.
This has been already too much an object for the scorn for
the horror for the detestation of my race.
To the uttermost regions of the globe have not the
indignant winds bruited its unparalleled infamy?
Oh, outcast of all outcasts most abandoned! to
the earth art thou not forever dead? to its honors,
to its flowers, to its golden aspirations? and
a cloud, dense, dismal, and limitless, does it not
hang eternally between thy hopes and heaven?
I would not, if I could, here or to-day,
embody a record of my later years of unspeakable misery,
and unpardonable crime. This epoch these
later years took unto themselves a sudden
elevation in turpitude, whose origin alone it is my
present purpose to assign. Men usually grow base
by degrees. From me, in an instant, all virtue
dropped bodily as a mantle. From comparatively
trivial wickedness I passed, with the stride of a
giant, into more than the enormities of an Elah-Gabalus.
What chance what one event brought this
evil thing to pass, bear with me while I relate.
Death approaches; and the shadow which foreruns him
has thrown a softening influence over my spirit.
I long, in passing through the dim valley, for the
sympathy I had nearly said for the pity of
my fellow men. I would fain have them believe
that I have been, in some measure, the slave of circumstances
beyond human control. I would wish them to seek
out for me, in the details I am about to give, some
little oasis of fatality amid a wilderness of error.
I would have them allow what they cannot
refrain from allowing that, although temptation
may have erewhile existed as great, man was never thus,
at least, tempted before certainly, never
thus fell. And is it therefore that he has never
thus suffered? Have I not indeed been living in
a dream? And am I not now dying a victim to the
horror and the mystery of the wildest of all sublunary
visions?
I am the descendant of a race whose
imaginative and easily excitable temperament has at
all times rendered them remarkable; and, in my earliest
infancy, I gave evidence of having fully inherited
the family character. As I advanced in years
it was more strongly developed; becoming, for many
reasons, a cause of serious disquietude to my friends,
and of positive injury to myself. I grew self-willed,
addicted to the wildest caprices, and a prey
to the most ungovernable passions. Weak-minded,
and beset with constitutional infirmities akin to my
own, my parents could do but little to check the evil
propensities which distinguished me. Some feeble
and ill-directed efforts resulted in complete failure
on their part, and, of course, in total triumph on
mine. Thenceforward my voice was a household law;
and at an age when few children have abandoned their
leading-strings, I was left to the guidance of my
own will, and became, in all but name, the master of
my own actions.
My earliest recollections of a school-life,
are connected with a large, rambling, Elizabethan
house, in a misty-looking village of England, where
were a vast number of gigantic and gnarled trees, and
where all the houses were excessively ancient.
In truth, it was a dream-like and spirit-soothing
place, that venerable old town. At this moment,
in fancy, I feel the refreshing chilliness of its
deeply-shadowed avenues, inhale the fragrance of its
thousand shrubberies, and thrill anew with undefinable
delight, at the deep hollow note of the church-bell,
breaking, each hour, with sullen and sudden roar, upon
the stillness of the dusky atmosphere in which the
fretted Gothic steeple lay imbedded and asleep.
It gives me, perhaps, as much of pleasure
as I can now in any manner experience, to dwell upon
minute recollections of the school and its concerns.
Steeped in misery as I am misery, alas!
only too real I shall be pardoned for seeking
relief, however slight and temporary, in the weakness
of a few rambling details. These, moreover, utterly
trivial, and even ridiculous in themselves, assume,
to my fancy, adventitious importance, as connected
with a period and a locality when and where I recognise
the first ambiguous monitions of the destiny which
afterwards so fully overshadowed me. Let me then
remember.
The house, I have said, was old and
irregular. The grounds were extensive, and a
high and solid brick wall, topped with a bed of mortar
and broken glass, encompassed the whole. This
prison-like rampart formed the limit of our domain;
beyond it we saw but thrice a week once
every Saturday afternoon, when, attended by two ushers,
we were permitted to take brief walks in a body through
some of the neighbouring fields and twice
during Sunday, when we were paraded in the same formal
manner to the morning and evening service in the one
church of the village. Of this church the principal
of our school was pastor. With how deep a spirit
of wonder and perplexity was I wont to regard him from
our remote pew in the gallery, as, with step solemn
and slow, he ascended the pulpit! This reverend
man, with countenance so demurely benign, with robes
so glossy and so clerically flowing, with wig so minutely
powdered, so rigid and so vast, –could
this be he who, of late, with sour visage, and in
snuffy habiliments, administered, ferule in hand,
the Draconian laws of the academy? Oh, gigantic
paradox, too utterly monstrous for solution!
At an angle of the ponderous wall
frowned a more ponderous gate. It was riveted
and studded with iron bolts, and surmounted with jagged
iron spikes. What impressions of deep awe did
it inspire! It was never opened save for the
three periodical egressions and ingressions already
mentioned; then, in every creak of its mighty hinges,
we found a plenitude of mystery a world
of matter for solemn remark, or for more solemn meditation.
The extensive enclosure was irregular
in form, having many capacious recesses. Of these,
three or four of the largest constituted the play-ground.
It was level, and covered with fine hard gravel.
I well remember it had no trees, nor benches, nor
anything similar within it. Of course it was
in the rear of the house. In front lay a small
parterre, planted with box and other shrubs; but through
this sacred division we passed only upon rare occasions
indeed such as a first advent to school
or final departure thence, or perhaps, when a parent
or friend having called for us, we joyfully took our
way home for the Christmas or Midsummer holy-days.
But the house! how quaint
an old building was this! to me how veritably
a palace of enchantment! There was really no end
to its windings to its incomprehensible
subdivisions. It was difficult, at any given
time, to say with certainty upon which of its two stories
one happened to be. From each room to every other
there were sure to be found three or four steps either
in ascent or descent. Then the lateral branches
were innumerable inconceivable and
so returning in upon themselves, that our most exact
ideas in regard to the whole mansion were not very
far different from those with which we pondered upon
infinity. During the five years of my residence
here, I was never able to ascertain with precision,
in what remote locality lay the little sleeping apartment
assigned to myself and some eighteen or twenty other
scholars.
The school-room was the largest in
the house I could not help thinking, in
the world. It was very long, narrow, and dismally
low, with pointed Gothic windows and a ceiling of
oak. In a remote and terror-inspiring angle was
a square enclosure of eight or ten feet, comprising
the sanctum, “during hours,” of our principal,
the Reverend Dr. Bransby. It was a solid structure,
with massy door, sooner than open which in the absence
of the “Dominic,” we would all have willingly
perished by the peine forte et dure.
In other angles were two other similar boxes, far
less reverenced, indeed, but still greatly matters
of awe. One of these was the pulpit of the “classical”
usher, one of the “English and mathematical.”
Interspersed about the room, crossing and recrossing
in endless irregularity, were innumerable benches and
desks, black, ancient, and time-worn, piled desperately
with much-bethumbed books, and so beseamed with initial
letters, names at full length, grotesque figures,
and other multiplied efforts of the knife, as to have
entirely lost what little of original form might have
been their portion in days long departed. A huge
bucket with water stood at one extremity of the room,
and a clock of stupendous dimensions at the other.
Encompassed by the massy walls of
this venerable academy, I passed, yet not in tedium
or disgust, the years of the third lustrum of my life.
The teeming brain of childhood requires no external
world of incident to occupy or amuse it; and the apparently
dismal monotony of a school was replete with more
intense excitement than my riper youth has derived
from luxury, or my full manhood from crime. Yet
I must believe that my first mental development had
in it much of the uncommon even much of
the outre. Upon mankind at large the events
of very early existence rarely leave in mature age
any definite impression. All is gray shadow a
weak and irregular remembrance an indistinct
regathering of feeble pleasures and phantasmagoric
pains. With me this is not so. In childhood
I must have felt with the energy of a man what I now
find stamped upon memory in lines as vivid, as deep,
and as durable as the exergues of the Carthaginian
medals.
Yet in fact in the fact
of the world’s view how little was
there to remember! The morning’s awakening,
the nightly summons to bed; the connings, the recitations;
the periodical half-holidays, and perambulations;
the play-ground, with its broils, its pastimes, its
intrigues; these, by a mental sorcery long
forgotten, were made to involve a wilderness of sensation,
a world of rich incident, an universe of varied emotion,
of excitement the most passionate and spirit-stirring.
“Oh, lé bon temps, que ce
siecle de fer!”
In truth, the ardor, the enthusiasm,
and the imperiousness of my disposition, soon rendered
me a marked character among my schoolmates, and by
slow, but natural gradations, gave me an ascendancy
over all not greatly older than myself; over
all with a single exception. This exception was
found in the person of a scholar, who, although no
relation, bore the same Christian and surname as myself; a
circumstance, in fact, little remarkable; for, notwithstanding
a noble descent, mine was one of those everyday appellations
which seem, by prescriptive right, to have been, time
out of mind, the common property of the mob.
In this narrative I have therefore designated myself
as William Wilson, a fictitious title not
very dissimilar to the real. My namesake alone,
of those who in school phraseology constituted “our
set,” presumed to compete with me in the studies
of the class in the sports and broils of
the play-ground to refuse implicit belief
in my assertions, and submission to my will indeed,
to interfere with my arbitrary dictation in any respect
whatsoever. If there is on earth a supreme and
unqualified despotism, it is the despotism of a master
mind in boyhood over the less energetic spirits of
its companions.
Wilson’s rebellion was to me
a source of the greatest embarrassment; the
more so as, in spite of the bravado with which in
public I made a point of treating him and his pretensions,
I secretly felt that I feared him, and could not help
thinking the equality which he maintained so easily
with myself, a proof of his true superiority; since
not to be overcome cost me a perpetual struggle.
Yet this superiority even this equality was
in truth acknowledged by no one but myself; our associates,
by some unaccountable blindness, seemed not even to
suspect it. Indeed, his competition, his resistance,
and especially his impertinent and dogged interference
with my purposes, were not more pointed than private.
He appeared to be destitute alike of the ambition
which urged, and of the passionate energy of mind which
enabled me to excel. In his rivalry he might
have been supposed actuated solely by a whimsical
desire to thwart, astonish, or mortify myself; although
there were times when I could not help observing,
with a feeling made up of wonder, abasement, and pique,
that he mingled with his injuries, his insults, or
his contradictions, a certain most inappropriate, and
assuredly most unwelcome affectionateness of manner.
I could only conceive this singular behavior to arise
from a consummate self-conceit assuming the vulgar
airs of patronage and protection.
Perhaps it was this latter trait in
Wilson’s conduct, conjoined with our identity
of name, and the mere accident of our having entered
the school upon the same day, which set afloat the
notion that we were brothers, among the senior classes
in the academy. These do not usually inquire
with much strictness into the affairs of their juniors.
I have before said, or should have said, that Wilson
was not, in the most remote degree, connected with
my family. But assuredly if we had been brothers
we must have been twins; for, after leaving Dr. Bransby’s,
I casually learned that my namesake was born on the
nineteenth of January, 1813 and this is
a somewhat remarkable coincidence; for the day is
precisely that of my own nativity.
It may seem strange that in spite
of the continual anxiety occasioned me by the rivalry
of Wilson, and his intolerable spirit of contradiction,
I could not bring myself to hate him altogether.
We had, to be sure, nearly every day a quarrel in
which, yielding me publicly the palm of victory, he,
in some manner, contrived to make me feel that it was
he who had deserved it; yet a sense of pride on my
part, and a veritable dignity on his own, kept us
always upon what are called “speaking terms,”
while there were many points of strong congeniality
in our tempers, operating to awake me in a sentiment
which our position alone, perhaps, prevented from
ripening into friendship. It is difficult, indeed,
to define, or even to describe, my real feelings towards
him. They formed a motley and heterogeneous admixture; some
petulant animosity, which was not yet hatred, some
esteem, more respect, much fear, with a world of uneasy
curiosity. To the moralist it will be unnecessary
to say, in addition, that Wilson and myself were the
most inseparable of companions.
It was no doubt the anomalous state
of affairs existing between us, which turned all my
attacks upon him, (and they were many, either open
or covert) into the channel of banter or practical
joke (giving pain while assuming the aspect of mere
fun) rather than into a more serious and determined
hostility. But my endeavours on this head were
by no means uniformly successful, even when my plans
were the most wittily concocted; for my namesake had
much about him, in character, of that unassuming and
quiet austerity which, while enjoying the poignancy
of its own jokes, has no heel of Achilles in itself,
and absolutely refuses to be laughed at. I could
find, indeed, but one vulnerable point, and that,
lying in a personal peculiarity, arising, perhaps,
from constitutional disease, would have been spared
by any antagonist less at his wit’s end than
myself; my rival had a weakness in the faucal
or guttural organs, which precluded him from raising
his voice at any time above a very low whisper.
Of this defect I did not fall to take what poor advantage
lay in my power.
Wilson’s retaliations in kind
were many; and there was one form of his practical
wit that disturbed me beyond measure. How his
sagacity first discovered at all that so petty a thing
would vex me, is a question I never could solve; but,
having discovered, he habitually practised the annoyance.
I had always felt aversion to my uncourtly patronymic,
and its very common, if not plebeian praenomen.
The words were venom in my ears; and when, upon the
day of my arrival, a second William Wilson came also
to the academy, I felt angry with him for bearing the
name, and doubly disgusted with the name because a
stranger bore it, who would be the cause of its twofold
repetition, who would be constantly in my presence,
and whose concerns, in the ordinary routine of the
school business, must inevitably, on account of the
detestable coincidence, be often confounded with my
own.
The feeling of vexation thus engendered
grew stronger with every circumstance tending to show
resemblance, moral or physical, between my rival and
myself. I had not then discovered the remarkable
fact that we were of the same age; but I saw that
we were of the same height, and I perceived that we
were even singularly alike in general contour of person
and outline of feature. I was galled, too, by
the rumor touching a relationship, which had grown
current in the upper forms. In a word, nothing
could more seriously disturb me, (although I scrupulously
concealed such disturbance,) than any allusion to a
similarity of mind, person, or condition existing
between us. But, in truth, I had no reason to
believe that (with the exception of the matter of relationship,
and in the case of Wilson himself,) this similarity
had ever been made a subject of comment, or even observed
at all by our schoolfellows. That he observed
it in all its bearings, and as fixedly as I, was apparent;
but that he could discover in such circumstances so
fruitful a field of annoyance, can only be attributed,
as I said before, to his more than ordinary penetration.
His cue, which was to perfect an imitation
of myself, lay both in words and in actions; and most
admirably did he play his part. My dress it was
an easy matter to copy; my gait and general manner
were, without difficulty, appropriated; in spite of
his constitutional defect, even my voice did not escape
him. My louder tones were, of course, unattempted,
but then the key, it was identical; and his singular
whisper, it grew the very echo of my own.
How greatly this most exquisite portraiture
harassed me, (for it could not justly be termed a
caricature,) I will not now venture to describe.
I had but one consolation in the fact that
the imitation, apparently, was noticed by myself alone,
and that I had to endure only the knowing and strangely
sarcastic smiles of my namesake himself. Satisfied
with having produced in my bosom the intended effect,
he seemed to chuckle in secret over the sting he had
inflicted, and was characteristically disregardful
of the public applause which the success of his witty
endeavours might have so easily elicited. That
the school, indeed, did not feel his design, perceive
its accomplishment, and participate in his sneer,
was, for many anxious months, a riddle I could not
resolve. Perhaps the gradation of his copy rendered
it not so readily perceptible; or, more possibly,
I owed my security to the master air of the copyist,
who, disdaining the letter, (which in a painting is
all the obtuse can see,) gave but the full spirit
of his original for my individual contemplation and
chagrin.
I have already more than once spoken
of the disgusting air of patronage which he assumed
toward me, and of his frequent officious interference
withy my will. This interference often took the
ungracious character of advice; advice not openly
given, but hinted or insinuated. I received it
with a repugnance which gained strength as I grew in
years. Yet, at this distant day, let me do him
the simple justice to acknowledge that I can recall
no occasion when the suggestions of my rival were on
the side of those errors or follies so usual to his
immature age and seeming inexperience; that his moral
sense, at least, if not his general talents and worldly
wisdom, was far keener than my own; and that I might,
to-day, have been a better, and thus a happier man,
had I less frequently rejected the counsels embodied
in those meaning whispers which I then but too cordially
hated and too bitterly despised.
As it was, I at length grew restive
in the extreme under his distasteful supervision,
and daily resented more and more openly what I considered
his intolerable arrogance. I have said that, in
the first years of our connexion as schoolmates, my
feelings in regard to him might have been easily ripened
into friendship: but, in the latter months of
my residence at the academy, although the intrusion
of his ordinary manner had, beyond doubt, in some
measure, abated, my sentiments, in nearly similar
proportion, partook very much of positive hatred.
Upon one occasion he saw this, I think, and afterwards
avoided, or made a show of avoiding me.
It was about the same period, if I
remember aright, that, in an altercation of violence
with him, in which he was more than usually thrown
off his guard, and spoke and acted with an openness
of demeanor rather foreign to his nature, I discovered,
or fancied I discovered, in his accent, his air, and
general appearance, a something which first startled,
and then deeply interested me, by bringing to mind
dim visions of my earliest infancy wild,
confused and thronging memories of a time when memory
herself was yet unborn. I cannot better describe
the sensation which oppressed me than by saying that
I could with difficulty shake off the belief of my
having been acquainted with the being who stood before
me, at some epoch very long ago some point
of the past even infinitely remote. The delusion,
however, faded rapidly as it came; and I mention it
at all but to define the day of the last conversation
I there held with my singular namesake.
The huge old house, with its countless
subdivisions, had several large chambers communicating
with each other, where slept the greater number of
the students. There were, however, (as must necessarily
happen in a building so awkwardly planned,) many little
nooks or recesses, the odds and ends of the structure;
and these the economic ingenuity of Dr. Bransby had
also fitted up as dormitories; although, being the
merest closets, they were capable of accommodating
but a single individual. One of these small apartments
was occupied by Wilson.
One night, about the close of my fifth
year at the school, and immediately after the altercation
just mentioned, finding every one wrapped in sleep,
I arose from bed, and, lamp in hand, stole through
a wilderness of narrow passages from my own bedroom
to that of my rival. I had long been plotting
one of those ill-natured pieces of practical wit at
his expense in which I had hitherto been so uniformly
unsuccessful. It was my intention, now, to put
my scheme in operation, and I resolved to make him
feel the whole extent of the malice with which I was
imbued. Having reached his closet, I noiselessly
entered, leaving the lamp, with a shade over it, on
the outside. I advanced a step, and listened to
the sound of his tranquil breathing. Assured of
his being asleep, I returned, took the light, and
with it again approached the bed. Close curtains
were around it, which, in the prosecution of my plan,
I slowly and quietly withdrew, when the bright rays
fell vividly upon the sleeper, and my eyes, at the
same moment, upon his countenance. I looked; and
a numbness, an iciness of feeling instantly pervaded
my frame. My breast heaved, my knees tottered,
my whole spirit became possessed with an objectless
yet intolerable horror. Gasping for breath, I
lowered the lamp in still nearer proximity to the face.
Were these these the linéaments of
William Wilson? I saw, indeed, that they were
his, but I shook as if with a fit of the ague in fancying
they were not. What was there about them to confound
me in this manner? I gazed; while
my brain reeled with a multitude of incoherent thoughts.
Not thus he appeared assuredly not thus in
the vivacity of his waking hours. The same name!
the same contour of person! the same day of arrival
at the academy! And then his dogged and meaningless
imitation of my gait, my voice, my habits, and my
manner! Was it, in truth, within the bounds of
human possibility, that what I now saw was the result,
merely, of the habitual practice of this sarcastic
imitation? Awe-stricken, and with a creeping
shudder, I extinguished the lamp, passed silently
from the chamber, and left, at once, the halls of that
old academy, never to enter them again.
After a lapse of some months, spent
at home in mere idleness, I found myself a student
at Eton. The brief interval had been sufficient
to enfeeble my remembrance of the events at Dr. Bransby’s,
or at least to effect a material change in the nature
of the feelings with which I remembered them.
The truth the tragedy of the
drama was no more. I could now find room to doubt
the evidence of my senses; and seldom called up the
subject at all but with wonder at extent of human
credulity, and a smile at the vivid force of the imagination
which I hereditarily possessed. Neither was this
species of scepticism likely to be diminished by the
character of the life I led at Eton. The vortex
of thoughtless folly into which I there so immediately
and so recklessly plunged, washed away all but the
froth of my past hours, engulfed at once every solid
or serious impression, and left to memory only the
veriest levities of a former existence.
I do not wish, however, to trace the
course of my miserable profligacy here a
profligacy which set at defiance the laws, while it
eluded the vigilance of the institution. Three
years of folly, passed without profit, had but given
me rooted habits of vice, and added, in a somewhat
unusual degree, to my bodily stature, when, after a
week of soulless dissipation, I invited a small party
of the most dissolute students to a secret carousal
in my chambers. We met at a late hour of the night;
for our debaucheries were to be faithfully protracted
until morning. The wine flowed freely, and there
were not wanting other and perhaps more dangerous
seductions; so that the gray dawn had already faintly
appeared in the east, while our delirious extravagance
was at its height. Madly flushed with cards and
intoxication, I was in the act of insisting upon a
toast of more than wonted profanity, when my attention
was suddenly diverted by the violent, although partial
unclosing of the door of the apartment, and by the
eager voice of a servant from without. He said
that some person, apparently in great haste, demanded
to speak with me in the hall.
Wildly excited with wine, the unexpected
interruption rather delighted than surprised me.
I staggered forward at once, and a few steps brought
me to the vestibule of the building. In this low
and small room there hung no lamp; and now no light
at all was admitted, save that of the exceedingly
feeble dawn which made its way through the semi-circular
window. As I put my foot over the threshold, I
became aware of the figure of a youth about my own
height, and habited in a white kerseymere morning
frock, cut in the novel fashion of the one I myself
wore at the moment. This the faint light enabled
me to perceive; but the features of his face I could
not distinguish. Upon my entering he strode hurriedly
up to me, and, seizing me by. the arm with a gesture
of petulant impatience, whispered the words “William
Wilson!” in my ear.
I grew perfectly sober in an instant.
There was that in the manner of the stranger, and
in the tremulous shake of his uplifted finger, as he
held it between my eyes and the light, which filled
me with unqualified amazement; but it was not this
which had so violently moved me. It was the pregnancy
of solemn admonition in the singular, low, hissing
utterance; and, above all, it was the character, the
tone, the key, of those few, simple, and familiar,
yet whispered syllables, which came with a thousand
thronging memories of bygone days, and struck upon
my soul with the shock of a galvanic battery.
Ere I could recover the use of my senses he was gone.
Although this event failed not of
a vivid effect upon my disordered imagination, yet
was it evanescent as vivid. For some weeks, indeed,
I busied myself in earnest inquiry, or was wrapped
in a cloud of morbid speculation. I did not pretend
to disguise from my perception the identity of the
singular individual who thus perseveringly interfered
with my affairs, and harassed me with his insinuated
counsel. But who and what was this Wilson? and
whence came he? and what were his purposes?
Upon neither of these points could I be satisfied;
merely ascertaining, in regard to him, that a sudden
accident in his family had caused his removal from
Dr. Bransby’s academy on the afternoon of the
day in which I myself had eloped. But in a brief
period I ceased to think upon the subject; my attention
being all absorbed in a contemplated departure for
Oxford. Thither I soon went; the uncalculating
vanity of my parents furnishing me with an outfit and
annual establishment, which would enable me to indulge
at will in the luxury already so dear to my heart, to
vie in profuseness of expenditure with the haughtiest
heirs of the wealthiest earldoms in Great Britain.
Excited by such appliances to vice,
my constitutional temperament broke forth with redoubled
ardor, and I spurned even the common restraints of
decency in the mad infatuation of my revels. But
it were absurd to pause in the detail of my extravagance.
Let it suffice, that among spendthrifts I out-Heroded
Herod, and that, giving name to a multitude of novel
follies, I added no brief appendix to the long catalogue
of vices then usual in the most dissolute university
of Europe.
It could hardly be credited, however,
that I had, even here, so utterly fallen from the
gentlemanly estate, as to seek acquaintance with the
vilest arts of the gambler by profession, and, having
become an adept in his despicable science, to practise
it habitually as a means of increasing my already
enormous income at the expense of the weak-minded
among my fellow-collegians. Such, nevertheless,
was the fact. And the very enormity of this offence
against all manly and honourable sentiment proved,
beyond doubt, the main if not the sole reason of the
impunity with which it was committed. Who, indeed,
among my most abandoned associates, would not rather
have disputed the clearest evidence of his senses,
than have suspected of such courses, the gay, the frank,
the generous William Wilson the noblest
and most commoner at Oxford him whose follies
(said his parasites) were but the follies of youth
and unbridled fancy whose errors but inimitable
whim whose darkest vice but a careless
and dashing extravagance?
I had been now two years successfully
busied in this way, when there came to the university
a young parvenu nobleman, Glendinning rich,
said report, as Herodes Atticus his
riches, too, as easily acquired. I soon found
him of weak intellect, and, of course, marked him as
a fitting subject for my skill. I frequently
engaged him in play, and contrived, with the gambler’s
usual art, to let him win considerable sums, the more
effectually to entangle him in my snares. At length,
my schemes being ripe, I met him (with the full intention
that this meeting should be final and decisive) at
the chambers of a fellow-commoner, (Mr. Preston,)
equally intimate with both, but who, to do him Justice,
entertained not even a remote suspicion of my design.
To give to this a better colouring, I had contrived
to have assembled a party of some eight or ten, and
was solicitously careful that the introduction of cards
should appear accidental, and originate in the proposal
of my contemplated dupe himself. To be brief
upon a vile topic, none of the low finesse was omitted,
so customary upon similar occasions that it is a just
matter for wonder how any are still found so besotted
as to fall its victim.
We had protracted our sitting far
into the night, and I had at length effected the manoeuvre
of getting Glendinning as my sole antagonist.
The game, too, was my favorite écarte!
The rest of the company, interested in the extent
of our play, had abandoned their own cards, and were
standing around us as spectators. The parvenu,
who had been induced by my artifices in the early
part of the evening, to drink deeply, now shuffled,
dealt, or played, with a wild nervousness of manner
for which his intoxication, I thought, might partially,
but could not altogether account. In a very short
period he had become my debtor to a large amount,
when, having taken a long draught of port, he did precisely
what I had been coolly anticipating he proposed
to double our already extravagant stakes. With
a well-feigned show of reluctance, and not until after
my repeated refusal had seduced him into some angry
words which gave a color of pique to my compliance,
did I finally comply. The result, of course,
did but prove how entirely the prey was in my toils;
in less than an hour he had quadrupled his debt.
For some time his countenance had been losing the
florid tinge lent it by the wine; but now, to my astonishment,
I perceived that it had grown to a pallor truly fearful.
I say to my astonishment. Glendinning had been
represented to my eager inquiries as immeasurably
wealthy; and the sums which he had as yet lost, although
in themselves vast, could not, I supposed, very seriously
annoy, much less so violently affect him. That
he was overcome by the wine just swallowed, was the
idea which most readily presented itself; and, rather
with a view to the preservation of my own character
in the eyes of my associates, than from any less interested
motive, I was about to insist, peremptorily, upon
a discontinuance of the play, when some expressions
at my elbow from among the company, and an ejaculation
evincing utter despair on the part of Glendinning,
gave me to understand that I had effected his total
ruin under circumstances which, rendering him an object
for the pity of all, should have protected him from
the ill offices even of a fiend.
What now might have been my conduct
it is difficult to say. The pitiable condition
of my dupe had thrown an air of embarrassed gloom over
all; and, for some moments, a profound silence was
maintained, during which I could not help feeling
my cheeks tingle with the many burning glances of
scorn or reproach cast upon me by the less abandoned
of the party. I will even own that an intolerable
weight of anxiety was for a brief instant lifted from
my bosom by the sudden and extraordinary interruption
which ensued. The wide, heavy folding doors of
the apartment were all at once thrown open, to their
full extent, with a vigorous and rushing impetuosity
that extinguished, as if by magic, every candle in
the room. Their light, in dying, enabled us just
to perceive that a stranger had entered, about my
own height, and closely muffled in a cloak. The
darkness, however, was now total; and we could only
feel that he was standing in our midst. Before
any one of us could recover from the extreme astonishment
into which this rudeness had thrown all, we heard
the voice of the intruder.
“Gentlemen,” he said,
in a low, distinct, and never-to-be-forgotten whisper
which thrilled to the very marrow of my bones, “Gentlemen,
I make no apology for this behaviour, because in thus
behaving, I am but fulfilling a duty. You are,
beyond doubt, uninformed of the true character of
the person who has to-night won at écarte a large
sum of money from Lord Glendinning. I will therefore
put you upon an expeditious and decisive plan of obtaining
this very necessary information. Please to examine,
at your leisure, the inner linings of the cuff of
his left sleeve, and the several little packages which
may be found in the somewhat capacious pockets of
his embroidered morning wrapper.”
While he spoke, so profound was the
stillness that one might have heard a pin drop upon
the floor. In ceasing, he departed at once, and
as abruptly as he had entered. Can I shall
I describe my sensations? must I say that
I felt all the horrors of the damned? Most assuredly
I had little time given for reflection. Many
hands roughly seized me upon the spot, and lights
were immediately reprocured. A search ensued.
In the lining of my sleeve were found all the court
cards essential in écarte, and, in the pockets
of my wrapper, a number of packs, facsimiles of those
used at our sittings, with the single exception that
mine were of the species called, technically, arrondees;
the honours being slightly convex at the ends, the
lower cards slightly convex at the sides. In
this disposition, the dupe who cuts, as customary,
at the length of the pack, will invariably find that
he cuts his antagonist an honor; while the gambler,
cutting at the breadth, will, as certainly, cut nothing
for his victim which may count in the records of the
game.
Any burst of indignation upon this
discovery would have affected me less than the silent
contempt, or the sarcastic composure, with which it
was received.
“Mr. Wilson,” said our
host, stooping to remove from beneath his feet an
exceedingly luxurious cloak of rare furs, “Mr.
Wilson, this is your property.” (The weather
was cold; and, upon quitting my own room, I had thrown
a cloak over my dressing wrapper, putting it off upon
reaching the scene of play.) “I presume it is
supererogatory to seek here (eyeing the folds of the
garment with a bitter smile) for any farther evidence
of your skill. Indeed, we have had enough.
You will see the necessity, I hope, of quitting Oxford at
all events, of quitting instantly my chambers.”
Abased, humbled to the dust as I then
was, it is probable that I should have resented this
galling language by immediate personal violence, had
not my whole attention been at the moment arrested
by a fact of the most startling character. The
cloak which I had worn was of a rare description of
fur; how rare, how extravagantly costly, I shall not
venture to say. Its fashion, too, was of my own
fantastic invention; for I was fastidious to an absurd
degree of coxcombry, in matters of this frivolous
nature. When, therefore, Mr. Preston reached me
that which he had picked up upon the floor, and near
the folding doors of the apartment, it was with an
astonishment nearly bordering upon terror, that I
perceived my own already hanging on my arm, (where
I had no doubt unwittingly placed it,) and that the
one presented me was but its exact counterpart in
every, in even the minutest possible particular.
The singular being who had so disastrously exposed
me, had been muffled, I remembered, in a cloak; and
none had been worn at all by any of the members of
our party with the exception of myself. Retaining
some presence of mind, I took the one offered me by
Preston; placed it, unnoticed, over my own; left the
apartment with a resolute scowl of defiance; and,
next morning ere dawn of day, commenced a hurried journey
from Oxford to the continent, in a perfect agony of
horror and of shame.
I fled in vain. My evil destiny
pursued me as if in exultation, and proved, indeed,
that the exercise of its mysterious dominion had as
yet only begun. Scarcely had I set foot in Paris
ere I had fresh evidence of the detestable interest
taken by this Wilson in my concerns. Years flew,
while I experienced no relief. Villain! at
Rome, with how untimely, yet with how spectral an
officiousness, stepped he in between me and my ambition!
At Vienna, too at Berlin and
at Moscow! Where, in truth, had I not bitter
cause to curse him within my heart? From his inscrutable
tyranny did I at length flee, panic-stricken, as from
a pestilence; and to the very ends of the earth I
fled in vain.
And again, and again, in secret communion
with my own spirit, would I demand the questions “Who
is he? whence came he? and what
are his objects?” But no answer was there found.
And then I scrutinized, with a minute scrutiny, the
forms, and the methods, and the leading traits of
his impertinent supervision. But even here there
was very little upon which to base a conjecture.
It was noticeable, indeed, that, in no one of the
multiplied instances in which he had of late crossed
my path, had he so crossed it except to frustrate
those schemes, or to disturb those actions, which,
if fully carried out, might have resulted in bitter
mischief. Poor justification this, in truth, for
an authority so imperiously assumed! Poor indemnity
for natural rights of self-agency so pertinaciously,
so insultingly denied!
I had also been forced to notice that
my tormentor, for a very long period of time, (while
scrupulously and with miraculous dexterity maintaining
his whim of an identity of apparel with myself,) had
so contrived it, in the execution of his varied interference
with my will, that I saw not, at any moment, the features
of his face. Be Wilson what he might, this, at
least, was but the veriest of affectation, or of folly.
Could he, for an instant, have supposed that, in my
admonisher at Eton in the destroyer of
my honor at Oxford, in him who thwarted
my ambition at Rome, my revenge at Paris, my passionate
love at Naples, or what he falsely termed my avarice
in Egypt, that in this, my arch-enemy and
evil genius, could fall to recognise the William Wilson
of my school boy days, the namesake, the
companion, the rival, the hated and dreaded
rival at Dr. Bransby’s? Impossible! But
let me hasten to the last eventful scene of the drama.
Thus far I had succumbed supinely
to this imperious domination. The sentiment of
deep awe with which I habitually regarded the elevated
character, the majestic wisdom, the apparent omnipresence
and omnipotence of Wilson, added to a feeling of even
terror, with which certain other traits in his nature
and assumptions inspired me, had operated, hitherto,
to impress me with an idea of my own utter weakness
and helplessness, and to suggest an implicit, although
bitterly reluctant submission to his arbitrary will.
But, of late days, I had given myself up entirely
to wine; and its maddening influence upon my hereditary
temper rendered me more and more impatient of control.
I began to murmur, to hesitate, to
resist. And was it only fancy which induced me
to believe that, with the increase of my own firmness,
that of my tormentor underwent a proportional diminution?
Be this as it may, I now began to feel the inspiration
of a burning hope, and at length nurtured in my secret
thoughts a stern and desperate resolution that I would
submit no longer to be enslaved.
It was at Rome, during the Carnival
of 18 , that I attended a masquerade in
the palazzo of the Neapolitan Duke Di Broglio.
I had indulged more freely than usual in the excesses
of the wine-table; and now the suffocating atmosphere
of the crowded rooms irritated me beyond endurance.
The difficulty, too, of forcing my way through the
mazes of the company contributed not a little to the
ruffling of my temper; for I was anxiously seeking,
(let me not say with what unworthy motive) the young,
the gay, the beautiful wife of the aged and doting
Di Broglio. With a too unscrupulous confidence
she had previously communicated to me the secret of
the costume in which she would be habited, and now,
having caught a glimpse of her person, I was hurrying
to make my way into her presence. At this
moment I felt a light hand placed upon my shoulder,
and that ever-remembered, low, damnable whisper within
my ear.
In an absolute phrenzy of wrath, I
turned at once upon him who had thus interrupted me,
and seized him violently by the collar. He was
attired, as I had expected, in a costume altogether
similar to my own; wearing a Spanish cloak of blue
velvet, begirt about the waist with a crimson belt
sustaining a rapier. A mask of black silk entirely
covered his face.
“Scoundrel!” I said, in
a voice husky with rage, while every syllable I uttered
seemed as new fuel to my fury, “scoundrel! impostor!
accursed villain! you shall not you shall
not dog me unto death! Follow me, or I stab you
where you stand!” and I broke my way
from the ball-room into a small ante-chamber adjoining dragging
him unresistingly with me as I went.
Upon entering, I thrust him furiously
from me. He staggered against the wall, while
I closed the door with an oath, and commanded him to
draw. He hesitated but for an instant; then,
with a slight sigh, drew in silence, and put himself
upon his defence.
The contest was brief indeed.
I was frantic with every species of wild excitement,
and felt within my single arm the energy and power
of a multitude. In a few seconds I forced him
by sheer strength against the wainscoting, and thus,
getting him at mercy, plunged my sword, with brute
ferocity, repeatedly through and through his bosom.
At that instant some person tried
the latch of the door. I hastened to prevent
an intrusion, and then immediately returned to my dying
antagonist. But what human language can adequately
portray that astonishment, that horror which possessed
me at the spectacle then presented to view? The
brief moment in which I averted my eyes had been sufficient
to produce, apparently, a material change in the arrangements
at the upper or farther end of the room. A large
mirror, so at first it seemed to me in
my confusion now stood where none had been
perceptible before; and, as I stepped up to it in
extremity of terror, mine own image, but with features
all pale and dabbled in blood, advanced to meet me
with a feeble and tottering gait.
Thus it appeared, I say, but was not.
It was my antagonist it was Wilson, who
then stood before me in the agonies of his dissolution.
His mask and cloak lay, where he had thrown them, upon
the floor. Not a thread in all his raiment not
a line in all the marked and singular linéaments
of his face which was not, even in the most absolute
identity, mine own!
It was Wilson; but he spoke no longer
in a whisper, and I could have fancied that I myself
was speaking while he said:
“You have conquered, and I yield.
Yet, henceforward art thou also dead dead
to the World, to Heaven and to Hope! In me didst
thou exist and, in my death, see by this
image, which is thine own, how utterly thou hast murdered
thyself.”