To those that have suffered certain
things there are forms of entertainment which neither
amuse nor bore, but which pain. And this evening,
as Justine sat in the stalls, the play which was being
given, and which, as plays go, was endurable enough,
caused her no pleasure, no weariness even, only a
longing to get away and be alone. Now and then
a shudder visited her, her hand tightened on her fan,
and at times she would close her eyes, dull her hearing,
and try to fancy that her girlhood was recovered,
that she was free again, that she was dead, that her
husband was anything imaginable in fact,
save the knowledge that she was there, side-by-side
with him, and that presently they would return together
to the hideousness of their uptown flat.
She had been married now a little
more than two years, and during the latter portion
of that time life had held for her that precise dose
of misery which is just insufficient to produce uncertainties
of thought in a mind naturally exalted. There
had indeed been moments in which the possibility of
insanity had presented itself, and there had been moments
also in which she would have welcomed that possibility
as a grateful release: but those moments had
passed, the possibility with them; and this evening
as she sat in the stalls her outward appearance was
much such as it had been two years before. But
within, where her heart had been, was a cemetery.
Among our friends and acquaintances
there are always those who to our knowledge have tombstones
of their own. But there are others that evolve
a world one that glows, subsides, and dies
away unknown to any save themselves. The solitudes
of space appall; the solitudes of the heart can be
as endless as they. In those which Justine concealed,
a universe had had its being and its subsidence; a
universe with gem-like hopes for stars one
in which the sun had been so eager its rays had made
her blind. There had been comets gorgeous and
tangential as aspirations ever are; there had been
the colorless ether of which dreams are made; and
for cosmic matter there was love. But now it was
all dispersed; there was nothing left, one altar merely the
petrefaction of a prayer erected long since in the
depths of her distress, and which for conscience’
sake now and then she tended still.
And now, as the play at which she
assisted unrolled before her unseeing eyes, one by
one scenes from another drama rose unsummoned in its
stead. First was the meeting with Mistrial at
Tuxedo, then the episode at Aiken, the marriage that
followed, and the banishment that ensued: a banishment,
parenthetically, which at the time being she was powerless
to understand. Her father’s anger had indeed
weighed on her; but it was not wholly that she
was too much in love to let it be more than a shadow
on her delight; nor was it because of unfamiliar lands:
it was that little by little, through incidents originally
misunderstood and then more completely grasped, the
discovery, avoided yet ever returning, came to her,
stayed with her, and made her its own that
the man whom she had loved and the man whom she had
married were separate and distinct.
The psychologist of woman has yet
to appear, and if he keep us waiting may it not be
because every woman he analyzes has a sister who differs
from her? The moment he formulates a rule it is
over-weighted by exceptions. Woman often varies,
the old song says; but not alone in her affections
does she do so: she varies in temperament as well.
And, after all, is it not the temperament that makes
or mars a life? Justine, in discovering that
the man she married and the man whom she loved were
separate and distinct, instead of being disgusted with
herself and with him, as you, madam, might have been,
tried her utmost to forget the lover and love the
husband that had come in his place. In this effort
she had pride for an aid. The humiliation which
the knowledge of self-deception brings is great, but
when that knowledge becomes common property the humiliation
is increased. The world not the world
that ought to be, but the world as it is is
more apt to smile than condole. There may be
much joy in heaven over the sinner that repents:
on earth the joy is at his downfall. And according
to the canons we have made for ourselves, Justine,
in listening to the dictates of her heart instead of
to those of her father, had sinned, so grievously even
that that father had bid her begone from his sight.
She was aware of this, and in consequence felt it
needful to hold her head the higher. And so for
a while she made pride serve as fig-leaf to her nakedness.
If abashed at heart, at least the world should be
uninformed of that abashment.
This effort on her part Mistrial hindered
to the best of his ability. Whether or not he
loved her, whether save himself he was capable of
loving anyone, who shall say? Men too are difficult
to decipher. There were hours when after some
écart he would come to her so penitent, so
pleasant to the eye, and seemingly so afflicted at
his own misconduct, that Justine found the strength or
the weakness, was it? to forgive and to
forget anew.
During this period they lived not
sumptuously, perhaps, but in that large and liberal
fashion which requires a ponderable rent-roll to support;
and at that time, however Mistrial comported himself
elsewhere, in her presence he had the decency to seem
considerate, and affectionate as well. But meanwhile,
through constant demands, the value of the letter
of credit into which he had converted the better part
of her mother’s estate became impaired.
Retrenchment was necessary, and that is never a pleasant
thing. The man that passes out of poverty into
wealth finds the passage so easy, so Lethean even,
that he is apt to forget what poverty was; but when,
as sometimes happens, he is obliged to retrace his
steps, he walks bare of foot through a path of thorns.
To count gold, instead of strewing it, is irritating
to anyone not a sage, and Mistrial, who was not a
sage, was irritated; and having, a wife within beck
and call he vented that irritation on her.
It was at this time that Justine began
to feel the full force of the banishment. That
her husband was, and in all probability would continue
to be, unfaithful to her, was a matter which she ended
by accepting with a degree of good sense which is
more common than is generally supposed. At first
she had been indeed indignant, and when in that indignation
her anger developed into a heat that was white and
sentiable, Mistrial experienced no remorse whatever,
only a desire to applaud. He liked the force
and splendor of her arraignment; it took him out of
himself; it made him feel that he was appreciated feared
even; that a word from him, and a tempest was loosened
or enchained.
But what is there to which we cannot
accustom ourselves? Justine ended, not by a full
understanding of the fact that man is naturally polygamous;
but little by little, through channels undiscerned
even by herself, the idea came to her that, if the
man she loved could find pleasure in the society of
other women, it was because she was less attractive
than they. It was this that brought her patience,
the more readily even in that, at her first paroxysm,
Mistrial, a trifle alarmed lest she might leave him,
had caught her in his arms, and sworn in a whisper
breathed in her ear, that of all the world he loved
her best.
Madam, you who do the present writer
the honor to read this page are convinced, he is sure,
that your husband would rather his tongue cleaved
to the roof of his mouth than break the vow which bound
you to him. But you, madam, have married a man
faithful and tried. You know very well with what
dismay he tells you of Robinson’s scandalous
conduct, and you know also how he pities Robinson’s
poor little wife; yet when, in your sorrow at what
that poor little woman has to put up with, you are
tempted to go and condole with her, pause, madam Mrs.
Robinson may be equally tempted to condole with You.
There are in Brooklyn,
in Boston, and in other recondite regions a
number of clever people who have been brought up with
the idea that Divorce was instituted for just such
a thing as this. Yet in one hundred cases out
of a hundred-and-one a woman who appeals to the law
never does so because her husband has broken a certain
commandment. If his dérélictions are confined
to that particular offence she may bewail, and we
all bewail with her; but if she wants the sympathy
of judge, of jury, and of newspaper-public too, she
must be prepared to allege other grievances.
She must show that her husband is unkind, that he is
sarcastic, that he is given to big words and short
sentences; in brief, that he has developed traits
which render life in common no longer to be endured.
It was traits of this description
that Mistrial unexpectedly developed, and it was during
their development that the sense of banishment visited
Justine. She was unable to make further transference
of her affections; the lover had disappeared; the
husband she had tried to love in his place had gone
as well. For sole companion she had a man who
had worn a mask and dropped it; where he had been
considerate, he was selfish; when he spoke, it was
to find fault; now that he could no longer throw her
money out of the windows, he threw his amiability in
its stead. By day he was taciturn, insultingly
dumb; at night he was drunk.
Mistrial had served his novitiate
where the pochard is rare. It is we that
drink, and with us the English, the Slavs, and Teutons;
but in the East and among the Latins sobriety is less
a matter of habit than of instinct. And in lands
where man prefers to keep his head clear, Mistrial,
at that age, which is one of the most impressionable
of all, had seen no reason to lose his own. But
presently the small irritations of enforced economy
affected his manners, and his habits as well.
He took to absinthe in the morning, and, as he happened
to be in France, he drank at night that brutal brandy
they give you there. Not continuously, it is
true. There were days when the man for whom Justine
had forsaken her home returned so completely she could
almost fancy he had never gone. Then, without
a word of warning, at the very moment when Faith was
gaining fresh foothold, the tragi-comedy would be renewed;
he was off again, no one knew whither, returning only
when the candle had been utterly consumed.
Such things are enough to affect any
woman’s patience, and Justine’s became
wholly warped. It was unaccountable to her that
he could treat her as he did. She watched the
gradual transformation of the perfect lover into the
perfect beast with a species of sorrow a
dual sorrow in whose component parts there was pity
for herself and for him as well.
The idea that he had married her uniquely
because of her father’s wealth, that he was
impatient to get it, and that when he got it he would
squander all he could on other women, occurred to her
only in the remotest ways, and then only through some
expression which, in his exasperation of the diminishing
bank account and the unreasonable time which it took
her father to forgive her, fell from him now and then
by chance. For Mistrial had indeed counted on
that forgiveness. He had even counted on receiving
it by cable, of finding that it had preceded and awaited
them before their ship reached France. And when,
to use an idiom of that land, it made itself expected,
he was confident that the longer it delayed the completer
it would be. At the utmost he had not dreamed
that the old man would detain it more than a few months;
but when twenty-four went by, and not only no forgiveness
was manifest, but through his own improvidence the
funds ran low, so low, in fact, that unless
forgiveness were presently forthcoming they would be
in straits indeed, he dictated a letter,
penitent and humble, one in which impending poverty
stood out as clearly as though it had been engraved,
and which it revolted her to send. Its inspiration,
however, must have been patent to Mr. Dunellen, for
that gentlemen’s reply, expressed in the third
person, was to the effect that if his daughter returned
to him he would provide for her as he had always done,
but in no other circumstances could he assist.
Had Justine been anyone but herself
she might have acted on the invitation: but the
tone of it hurt her; she was annoyed at having permitted
herself to send the letter Mistrial had dictated, and
to which this was the reply. Her pride was up all
the more surely because she knew her father had been
right; and there is just this about pride as
a matter of penitence it forces us to suffer those
consequences of our own wrongdoing which through a
simple confession it were easy to escape. To
Justine such confession was impossible. She had
left her father in the full certainty that he was
wrong, and when she found he was not, death to her
were preferable to any admission of the grievousness
of her own mistake.
At this juncture Mistrial’s
aunt assisted at the funeral of a sister spinster,
sat in a draught, caught cold in her throat, and, the
glottis enlarging, strangled one night in her bed.
By her will the St. Nicholas Hospital received the
bulk of her property. The rest of her estate was
divided among relatives; to her nephew Roland Mistrial 3d
no longer was bequeathed the princely sum
of ten thousand dollars in cash. At the news
of this munificence Roland swore and grit his teeth.
Had his circumstances been different it is probable
that the ten thousand, together with some enduring
insult, he would have flung after her to the eternal
purgatory where he prayed she had gone. As it
was, the modicity of the bequest sobered him.
Through some impalpable logic he had counted but little
on any inheritance at all; he had indeed hoped vaguely
that she might die and leave him what she had; and
it may even be that, had he learned that her will
was in his favor, and had a suitable opportunity presented
itself, in some perfectly decorous manner he would
have hastened his aunt’s demise. But concerning
her will he had no information; moreover, during his
visit to the States the old lady saw as little of
him as she could help; and when she did see him, in
spite of gout and the ailments of advancing years
there was such a rigidity in her manner that the nephew
told himself she might live long enough to see him
hanged. As a consequence he had expected nothing.
But when the news of her death reached him, together
with the intelligence that instead of the competence
he might possibly have had he was mentioned merely
to the tune of ten thousand dollars, this
outrage, in conjunction with Dunellen’s relentlessness,
sobered him to that degree, that for a day and a night
he gave himself to a debauch of thought. From
this orgy he issued with clearer mind. It may
be though the idea advanced is one that
can only be hazarded it may be that had
his aunt disposed of her estate in his favor he would
there and then have washed his hands of the job he
had undertaken, and left his wife to her own devices.
As it was, he saw that, to keep his head above water,
the only possible plank was one that Mr. Dunellen
might send in his reach; and it was with the knowledge
that before the present scanty windfall disappeared
some conquest of Honest Paul’s affection should
be attempted that he determined to return to New York.
Once there again, who knew what might happen?
Surely, if the preceding year Mr. Dunellen had strength
for violence, to the naked eye he was even then manifestly
infirm. There was no gainsaying the matter he
at least would not live very long. As to the
disposition of his property after death Mistrial was
still assured. Whatever his attitude might be
for the present, in the end he could not wholly disinherit
Justine at least one-half the property
must come to her. On that fact Mistrial would
have staked his life; after all, it was the one hope
he had left; and an ultimate hope, we all know, is
the thing we part with last.
Thereupon he recovered himself.
He became amiable and considerate a change
of demeanor which gave Justine a chill. She consented
nevertheless to the return trip, and the day after
arriving called at her father’s house.
When she got back to the hotel where they had put up
Mistrial was waiting for her. In answer to his
questions she told him that her father was willing
to receive her, but her alone. “You must
take your choice,” he had said, she repeated “You
must take your choice.”
“And what is that choice?” Mistrial had
asked.
“I have made it,” she answered, “and
by it I will abide.”
But at this he had expostulated; and
when, seeing at last what he meant understanding
that he would have her feign a compliance for the
sake of coin which at her father’s death she
could come back and share with him when,
divining the infamy of his thought, she refused, he
had struck her in the face.
Because a man is not Chesterfield,
it does not follow he is Sykes. Mistrial had
never struck a woman before, and in this initial assault
it is probable that he was actuated less by a desire
to punish than by that force which overmasters him
who has ceased to be master of himself. By instinct
he was not a gentleman; for some time past he had not
even taken the trouble to appear one; yet at that
moment, dancing in derision before him, he saw the
letters that form the monosyllable Cad. The sense
of abasement he displayed was so immediate and sincere,
that Justine, who, trembling with anger and disgust,
stood staring in his face, read it there and understood.
Instead of separating them forever, the blow reunited
their hands. During the week that followed they
were nearer to each other than they had been for months
before. The reconciliation was seemingly complete.
Mistrial made himself the lover again, and Justine
permitted herself to be wooed. They left their
hotel and found a flat a furnished apartment
in the neighborhood of Central Park; and there the
storm departing placed a rainbow in its stead.
A rainbow, however, is not a fixture,
and this one went its way. While Justine closed
her eyes Mistrial’s were alert. He had no
intention of suffering her to be disinherited, and
though it was well enough to rely on the courts it
was better still not to be forced to do so. Rather
than run an avoidable risk he would have abandoned
his wife, and forced her through that abandonment
to return to her father’s house, convinced that
afterwards he could win her together with the estate
back again to him. Meanwhile another interview
could not in any way jeopardize the chances to which
he clung. On the contrary, it might be highly
serviceable. Mr. Dunellen, he had learned, was
much broken; he had given up his practice, the the
world even, everything in fact save perhaps the devil
that was in him, and sat uncompanioned in the desolate
and spacious emptiness of his house. It was only
natural that he should wish to coerce his daughter
into obedience; yet now that he saw she was steadfast,
her pride unhumbled still, it was not improbable that
he would yield; it was presumable even that he was
then waiting, weak of heart, prepared at her next
advance to welcome and forgive.
Of these things Mistrial made his
wife aware, and it was then that the rainbow departed.
His arguments were as revolting as the cynicism they
exhaled. But she made no attempt to combat them.
Since she had seen her father she had felt a sorrow
for him that Mistrial’s altered demeanor had
given her time to heed. She knew that his attitude
was due to her defiance of his express commands, but
she had no reason to suppose that he had any other
objection to her husband than such as his poverty might
have caused or instinctive antipathy might bring.
But now, her own experience aiding, she knew that
he had been right; and, as he seemed feeble and dispassionate,
in answer to Mistrial’s arguments she tied her
bonnet-strings and went. It was early in the afternoon
when she started, it was night when she returned.
Mistrial had been waiting for her,
and when she entered the room in which he sat he rose
eagerly and aided her with her wrap. He was impatient,
she could see; and she was impatient also.
“Why did you not tell me of
Guy’s sister?” she began, at once.
And as he answered nothing she continued:
“Years ago I knew of what she died; it was only
to-day I learned that it was you who murdered her.”
“It is a lie.”
“Oh, protest. I knew you would.”
“From whom is it you heard this
thing? Not from your father, I am sure.”
As Mistrial spoke he gazed at her inquisitorially with
shrewd, perplexing eyes.
“What does it matter?”
she answered. Her head was thrown back, her lips
compressed. “What does it matter since the
charge is true?”
“But it is false,” he
cried; “it is a wanton lie. Your father
never could have stated it.”
“Ah, but he did, though; and
Guy was there to substantiate what he said.”
“Guy!” As he pronounced
her cousin’s name there came into his face an
expression which she knew and which she had learned
to dread. “Madam, you mean your lover,
I suppose. And it is his ipse dixit you
accept in preference to mine?”
“Mistrial, you know he is not my lover.”
“I know he was in love with you, and you with
him.”
“So he was; so he is, I think;
and it was not until this night I saw my own mistake.”
“Voila!” said Roland,
suddenly calmed. He paused a second, and after
eying the polish of his finger-nails, affected to flick
a speck of dust from his sleeve. “Your
cousin is mad,” he added.
“He is sane as ” and Justine
hesitated for a simile.
“His mother, you mean.
Were you never aware that insanity is hereditary?
If his sister presupposing that the accusation
which he formulates against me was originally advanced
by her if his sister whom, by
the way, I never saw but once if his sister
accused me of complicity, then she suffered from the
hereditary taint as well. If I was guilty of what
your cousin charges, why was I not arrested, tried,
and sentenced? But are you such a dolt you cannot
see that Guy is mad mad not only by nature,
but crazed by jealousy as well. You say you know
he loves you. You have even the candor to admit
that you love him! Now ask yourself what would
any impartial hearer deduce from statements such as
yours?”
“My father was an impartial hearer, and he ”
“But how is it possible to be
so blind? Can you not see that your cousin has
prejudiced him against me? I said, impartial hearer.
But let the matter drop. I tell you the charge
is false; believe it or not, as you prefer. There
is, however, just this in the matter: if the charge
is made again, I will have your cousin under arrest.
You forget that there is such a thing as libel still.”
Again he paused, and strove to collect
himself; there was a design in the carpet which appeared
to interest him very much, but presently he looked
up again.
“Now tell me,” he said, “what did
your father say?”
“Nothing, save what he said before.”
“Nothing?”
“Nothing that you would care
to hear.” Her eyes roamed from the neighbourly
ceiling over to him and back again. “He
said,” she added, “that if I persisted
in living with you his money would go to my child,
if I had one; if I had none, then to Guy.”
“Were you alone with him when
he said this, or was Guy, as you call him, there?”
“No, I was alone with him; Guy came later.”
“And is he aware of this provision?”
For all response Justine shrugged her shoulders.
“Does he know it, I ask you?”
“He does not,” she answered.
“Father told me that he never would, until the
will was read.”
“H’m.” And
for a moment Mistrial mused. Then presently he
smiled yet was it a smile? a
look that an hallucinated monk in a medieval abbey
might have seen on that imaginary demon who, flitting
by him, the forefinger outstretched, whispered as
he vanished through the wall, “Thou art damned,
dear friend! thou art damned!” “H’m,”
he repeated; “and in view of the provisions
of your father’s will, will you tell me why
is it that you are without a child?”
As he spoke he had arisen, and, smiling
still, though now as were he questioning her in regard
to the state of the weather, he looked into her eyes.
She had drawn yet further back into the chair in which
she sat; a deadly sickness overcame her; to her head
there mounted the nausea of each one of his many misdeeds.
The memory of the blow of the week before, one which,
despite her seeming forbearance, had not ceased to
rankle, returned to her; and with it, one after another
in swift succession, she rememorated the offences
of the past. But soon she too was on her feet
and fronted him. “Why is it I am without
a child?” she repeated. Her voice was low
and clear, and between each word she permitted a little
pause to intervene. “Why is it?”
The subtlety of his reproach battening
on nerves already overwrought was exciting her as
nothing had done before. “It is you,”
she cried, “who are to blame. What have
you done with your youth? What have you done
with your manhood? Look at me, Roland Mistrial!
If I have borne you no child it is because monsters
never engender.” As she spoke, with one
gesture she tore her bodice down. Her breast,
palpitant with health and anger too, heaving at the
sheer injustice of his reproach, confronted and confuted
him. “It is there that women have their
strength; tell me, if you can, what have you done
with yours?”
And thereat, with a look a princess
might give to a lackey who had dared to question her,
she turned and left him where he stood.
The next day he tried to make his
peace with her. In this he succeeded, or flattered
himself he had, for subsequently she consented to accompany
him to the play. And as she sat in the stalls
it was of these things that she thought.