No doubt whatever but that Lieutenant
Tibbetts of the Houssas had a pretty taste for romance.
It led him to exercise certain latent powers of imagination
and to garnish his voluminous correspondence with details
of happenings which had no very solid foundation in
fact.
On one occasion he had called down
the heavy sarcasm of his superior officer by a reference
to lions a reference which Hamilton’s
sister had seen and, in the innocence of her heart,
had referred to in a letter to her brother.
Whereupon Bones swore to himself that
he would carefully avoid corresponding with any person
who might have the remotest acquaintance with the
remotest of Hamilton’s relatives.
Every mail night Captain Hamilton
underwent a cross-examination which at once baffled
and annoyed him.
Picture a great room, the walls of
varnished match-boarding, the bare floor covered in
patches by skins. There are twelve windows covered
with fine mesh wire and looking out to the broad verandah
which runs round the bungalow. The furniture
is mainly wicker work, a table or two bearing framed
photographs (one has been cleared for the huge gramophone
which Bones has introduced to the peaceful life of
headquarters). There are no pictures on the walls
save the inevitable five Queen Victoria,
King Edward, Queen Alexandra, and in a place of honour
above the door the King and his Consort.
A great oil lamp hangs from the centre
of the boarded ceiling, and under this the big solid
table at either side of which two officers write silently
and industriously, for the morrow brings the mail boat.
Silent until Bones looked up thoughtfully.
“Do you know the Gripps, of Beckstead, dear
old fellow?”
“No.”
“None of your people know ’em?”
hopefully.
“No how the dickens do I know?”
“Don’t get chuffy, dear old chap.”
Then would follow another silence, until
“Do you happen to be acquainted with the Lomands
of Fife?”
“No.”
“I suppose none of your people know ’em?”
Hamilton would put down his pen, resignation on his
face.
“I have never heard of the Lomands unless
you refer to the Loch Lomonds; nor to the best of
my knowledge and belief are any of my relations in
blood or in law in any way acquainted with them.”
“Cheer oh!” said Bones, gratefully.
Another ten minutes, and then:
“You don’t know the Adamses of Oxford,
do you, sir?”
Hamilton, in the midst of his weekly report, chucked
down his pen.
“No; nor the Eves of Cambridge,
nor the Serpents of Eton, nor the Angels of Harrow.”
“I suppose ” began
Bones.
“Nor are my relations on speaking
terms with them. They don’t know the Adamses,
nor the Cains, nor the Abels, nor the Moseses, nor
the Noahs.”
“That’s all I wanted to
know, sir,” said an injured Bones. “There’s
no need to peeve, sir.”
Step by step Bones was compiling a
directory of people to whom he might write without
restraint, providing he avoided mythical lion hunts
and confined himself to anecdotes which were suggestively
complimentary to himself.
Thus he wrote to one pal of his at
Biggestow to the effect that he was known to the natives
as “The-Man-Who-Never-Sleeps,” meaning
thereby that he was a most vigilant and relentless
officer, and the recipients of this information, fired
with a sort of local patriotism, sent the remarkable
statement to the Biggestow Herald and Observer and
Hindhead Guardian, thereby upsetting all Bones’
artful calculations.
“What the devil does ‘Man-Who-Never-Sleeps’
mean?” asked a puzzled Hamilton.
“Dear old fellow,” said
Bones, incoherently, “don’t let’s
discuss it ... I can’t understand how these
things get into the bally papers.”
“If,” said Hamilton, turning
the cutting over in his hand, “if they called
you ‘The-Man-Who-Jaws-So-Much-That-Nobody-Can-Sleep,’
I’d understand it, or if they called you ‘The-Man-Sleeps-With-His-Mouth-Open-Emitting-Hideous-Noises,’
I could understand it.”
“The fact is, sir,” said
Bones, in a moment of inspiration, “I’m
an awfully light sleeper in fact, sir,
I’m one of those chaps who can get along with
a couple of hours’ sleep I can sleep
anywhere at any time dear old Wellin’ton
was similarly gifted in fact, sir, there
are one or two points of resemblance between Wellington
and I, which you might have noticed, sir.”
“Speak no ill of the dead,”
reproved Hamilton; “beyond your eccentric noses
I see no points of resemblance.”
It was on a morning following the
dispatch of the mail that Hamilton took a turn along
the firm sands to settle in his mind the problem of
a certain Middle Island.
Middle Islands, that is to say the
innumerable patches of land which sprinkle the river
in its broad places, were a never-ending problem to
Sanders and his successor. Upon these Middle Islands
the dead were laid to rest from the river
you saw the graves with fluttering ragged flags of
white cloth planted about them and the right
of burial was a matter of dispute when the mainland
at one side of the river was Isisi land, and Akasava
the other. Also some of the larger Middle Islands
were colonized.
Hamilton had news of a coming palaver
in relation to one of these.
Now, on the river, it is customary
for all who desire inter-tribal palavers to announce
their intention loudly and insistently. And if
Sanders had no objection he made no move, if he did
not think the palaver desirable he stopped it.
It was a simple arrangement, and it worked.
Hamilton came back from his four-mile
constitutional satisfied in his mind that the palaver
should be held. Moreover, they had, on this occasion,
asked permission. He could grant this with an
easy mind, being due in the neighbourhood of the disputed
territory in the course of a week.
It seemed that an Isisi fisherman
had been spearing in Akasava waters, and had, moreover,
settled, he and his family to the number of forty,
on Akasava territory. Whereupon an Akasava fishing
community, whose rights the intruder had violated,
rose up in its wrath and beat Issmeri with sticks.
Then the king of the Isisi sent a
messenger to the king of Akasava begging him to stay
his hand “against my lawful people, for know
this, Iberi, that I have a thousand spears and young
men eager for fire.”
And Iberi replied with marked unpleasantness
that there were in the Akasava territory two thousand
spears no less inclined to slaughter.
In a moment of admirable moderation,
significant of the change which Mr. Commissioner Sanders
had wrought in these warlike peoples, they accepted
Hamilton’s suggestion sent by special
envoy and held a “small palaver,”
agreeing that the question of the disputed fishing
ground should be settled by a third person.
And they chose Bosambo, paramount
and magnificent chief of the Ochori, as arbitrator.
Now, it was singularly unfortunate that the question
was ever debatable. And yet it was, for the fishing
ground in question was off one of the many Middle
Islands. In this case the island was occupied
by Akasava fishermen on the one shore and by the intruding
Isisi on the other. If you can imagine a big
“Y” and over it a little “o”
and over that again an inverted “Y” thus
“+” and drawing this you prolong the four
prongs of the Y’s, you have a rough idea of the
topography of the place. To the left of the lower
“Y” mark the word “Isisi,”
to the right the word “Akasava” until
you reach a place where the two right hand prongs
meet, and here you draw a line and call all above it
“Ochori.” The “o” in
the centre is the middle island set in a
shallow lake through which the river (the stalk, of
the Y’s) runs.
Bosambo came down in state with ten
canoes filled with counsellors and bodyguard.
He camped on the disputed ground, and was met thereon
by the chiefs affected.
“O, Iberi and T’lingi!”
said he, as he stepped ashore, “I come in peace,
bringing all my wonderful counsellors, that I may make
you as brothers, for as you know I have a white man’s
way of knowing all their magic, and being a brother
in blood to our Lord Tibbetti, Moon-in-the-Eye.”
“This we know, Bosambo,”
said Iberi, looking askance at the size of Bosambo’s
retinue, “and my stomach is proud that you bring
so vast an army of high men to us, for I see that
you have brought rich food for them.”
He saw nothing of the sort, but he
wanted things made plain at the beginning.
“Lord Iberi,” said Bosambo,
loftily, “I bring no food, for that would have
been shameful, and men would have said: ’Iberi
is a mean man who starves the guests of his house.’
But only one half of my wise people shall sit in your
huts, Iberi, and the other half will rest with T’lingi
of the Akasava, and feed according to law. And
behold, chiefs and headmen, I am a very just man not
to be turned this way or that by the giving of gifts
or by kindness shown to my people. Yet my heart
is so human and so filled with tenderness for my people,
that I ask you not to feed them too richly or give
them presents of beauty, lest my noble mind be influenced.”
Whereupon his forces were divided,
and each chief ransacked his land for delicacies to
feed them.
It was a long palaver too long for the
chiefs.
Was the island Akasava or Isisi?
Old men of either nation testified with oaths and
swearings of death and other high matters that it was
both.
From dawn to sunset Bosambo sat in
the thatched palaver house, and on either side of
him was a brass pot into which he tossed from time
to time a grain of corn.
And every grain stood for a successful
argument in favour of one or the other of the contestants the
pot to the right being for the Akasava, and that to
the left for the Isisi.
And the night was given up to festivity,
to the dancing of girls and the telling of stories
and other noble exercises.
On the tenth day Iberi met T’lingi secretly.
“T’lingi,” said
Iberi, “it seems to me that this island is not
worth the keeping if we have to feast this thief Bosambo
and search our lands for his pleasure.”
“Lord Iberi,” agreed his
rival, “that is also in my mind let
us go to this robber of our food and say the palaver
shall finish to-morrow, for I do not care whether
the island is yours or mine if we can send Bosambo
back to his land.”
“You speak my mind,” said
Iberi, and on the morrow they were blunt to the point
of rudeness.
Whereupon Bosambo delivered judgment.
“Many stories have been told,”
said he, “also many lies, and in my wisdom I
cannot tell which is lie and which is truth. Moreover,
the grains of corn are equal in each pot. Now,
this I say, in the name of my uncle Sandi, and my
brother Tibbetti (who is secretly married to my sister’s
cousin), that neither Akasava nor Isisi shall sit in
this island for a hundred years.”
“Lord, you are wise,”
said the Akasava chief, well satisfied, and Iberi
was no less cheered, but asked: “Who shall
keep this island free from Akasava or Isisi?
For men may come and there will be other palavers and
perhaps fighting?”
“That I have thought of,”
said Bosambo, “and so I will raise a village
of my own people on this island, and put a guard of
a hundred men all this I will do because
I love you both the palaver is finished.”
He rose in his stately way, and with
his drums beating and the bright spearheads of his
young men a-glitter in the evening sunlight, embarked
in his ten canoes, having expanded his territory without
loss to himself like the Imperialist he was.
For two days the chiefs of the Akasava
and the Isisi were satisfied with the justice of an
award which robbed them both without giving an advantage
to either. Then an uneasy realization of their
loss dawned upon them. Then followed a swift
exchange of messages and Bosambo’s colonization
scheme was unpleasantly checked.
Hamilton was on the little lake which
is at the end of the N’gini River when he heard
of the trouble, and from the high hills at the far
end of the lake sent a helio message staring
and blinking across the waste.
Bones, fishing in the river below
Ikan, picked up the instructions, and went flying
up the river as fast as the new naphtha launch could
carry him.
He arrived in time to cover the shattered
remnants of Bosambo’s fleet as they were being
swept northward from whence they came.
Bones went inshore to the island,
the water jacket of a Maxim gun exposed over the bow,
but there was no opposition.
“What the dooce is all this
about hey?” demanded Lieutenant Tibbetts
fiercely, and Iberi, doubly uneasy at the sound of
an unaccustomed language, stood on one leg in his
embarrassment.
“Lord, the thief Bosambo ”
he began, and told the story.
“Lord,” he concluded humbly,
“I say all this though Bosambo is your relation
since you have secretly married his sister’s
cousin.”
Whereupon Bones went very red and
stammered and spluttered in such a way that the chief
knew for sure that Bosambo had spoken the truth.
Bones, as I have said before, was
no fool. He confirmed Bosambo’s order for
the evacuation of the island, but left a Houssa guard
to hold it.
Then he hurried north to the Ochori.
Bosambo formed his royal procession,
but there was no occasion for it, for Bones was in
no processional mood.
“What the dooce do you mean,
sir?” demanded a glaring and threatening Bones,
his helmet over his neck, his arms akimbo. “What
do you mean, sir, by saying I’m married to your
infernal aunt?”
“Sah,” said Bosambo, virtuous
and innocent, “I no savvy you I no
compreney, sah! You lib for my house I
give you fine t’ings. I make um moosic,
sah ”
“You’re a jolly old rotter,
Bosambo!” said Bones, shaking his finger in
the chief’s face. “I could punish
you awfully for telling wicked stories, Bosambo.
I’m disgusted with you, I am indeed.”
“Lord who never sleeps,” began Bosambo,
humbly.
“Hey?”
Bones stared at the other in amazement,
suspicion, hope, and gratification in his face.
“O, Bosambo,” said he
mildly, and speaking in the native tongue, “why
do you call me by that name?”
Now, Bosambo in his innocence had
used a phrase (M’wani-m’wani) which
signifies “the sleepless one,” and also
stands in the vernacular for “busy-body,”
or one who is eternally concerned with other people’s
business.
“Lord,” said Bosambo,
hastily, “by this name are you known from the
mountains to the sea. Thus all men speak of you,
saying: ’This is he who does not sleep
but watches all the time.’”
Bones was impressed, he was flattered,
and he ran his finger between the collar of his uniform
jacket and his scraggy neck as one will do who is
embarrassed by praise and would appear unconcerned
under the ordeal.
“So men call me, Bosambo,”
said he carelessly “though my lord M’ilitani
does not know this therefore in the day
when M’ilitani comes, speak of me as M’wani-m’wani
that he may know of whom men speak when they say ‘the
sleepless one.’”
Everybody knows that Cala cala
great chiefs had stored against the hour of their
need certain stocks of ivory.
Dead ivory it is called because it
had been so long cut, but good cow ivory, closer in
grain than the bull elephant brought to the hunter,
more turnable, and of greater value.
There is no middle island on the river
about which some legend or buried treasure does not
float.
Hamilton, hurrying forward to the
support of his second-in-command, stopped long enough
to interview two sulky chiefs.
“What palaver is this?”
he demanded of Iberi, “that you carry your spears
to a killing? For is not the river big enough
for all, and are there no burying-places for your
old men that you should fight so fiercely?”
“Lord,” confessed Iberi,
“upon that island is a treasure which has been
hidden from the beginning of time, and that is the
truth N’Yango!”
Now, no man swears by his mother unless
he is speaking straightly, and Hamilton understood.
“Never have I spoken of this
to the Chief of the Isisi,” Iberi went on, “nor
he to me, yet we know because of certain wise sayings
that the treasure stays and young men of our houses
have searched very diligently though secretly.
Also Bosambo knows, for he is a cunning man, and when
we found he had put his warriors to the seeking we
fought him, lord, for though the treasure may be Isisi
or Akasava, of this I am sure it is not of the Ochori.”
Hamilton came to the Ochori city to
find a red-eyed Bones stalking majestically up and
down the beach.
“What is the matter with you?”
demanded Hamilton. “Fever?”
“Not at all,” replied
Bones, huskily; but with a fine carelessness.
“You look as if you hadn’t
had a sleep for months,” said Hamilton.
Bones shrugged his shoulders.
“Dear old fellow,” said
he, “it isn’t for nothing that I’m
called ’the sleepless one’ don’t
make sceptical noises, dear old officer, but pursue
your inquiries among the indigenous natives, especially
Bosambo an hour is all I want just
a bit of a snooze and a bath and I’m bright
an’ vigilant.”
“Take your hour,” said
Hamilton briefly. “You’ll need it.”
His interview with Bosambo was short
and, for Bosambo, painful. Nevertheless he unbent
in the end to give the chief a job after his heart.
Launch and steamer turned their noses
down the stream, and at sunset came to the island.
In the morning, Hamilton conducted a search which
extended from shore to shore and he came upon the cairn
unexpectedly after a two hours’ search.
He uncovered two tons of ivory, wrapped in rotten
native cloth.
“There will be trouble over
this,” he said, thoughtfully, surveying the
yellow tusks. “I’ll go downstream
to the Isisi and collect information, unless these
beggars can establish their claim we will bag this
lot for government.”
He left Bones and one orderly on the island.
“I shall be gone two days,”
he said. “I must send the launch to bring
Iberi to me; keep your eyes peeled.”
“Sir,” said Bones, blinking
and suppressing a yawn with difficulty, “you
can trust the sleepless one.”
He had his tent pitched before the
cairn, and in the shade of a great gum he seated himself
in his canvas chair.... He looked up and struggled
to his feet. He was half dead with weariness,
for the whole of the previous night, while Bosambo
snored in his hut, Bones, pinching himself, had wandered
up and down the street of the city qualifying for
his title.
Now, as he rose unsteadily to his
feet, it was to confront Bosambo Bosambo
with four canoes grounded on the sandy beach of the
island.
“Hello, Bosambo!” yawned Bones.
“O Sleepless One,” said
Bosambo humbly, “though I came in silence yet
you heard me, and your bright eyes saw me in the little-light.”
“Little-light” it was, for the sun had
gone down.
“Go now, Bosambo,” said
Bones, “for it is not lawful that you should
be here.”
He looked around for Ahmet, his orderly,
but Ahmet was snoring like a pig.
“Lord, that I know,” said
Bosambo, “yet I came because my heart is sad
and I have sorrow in my stomach. For did I not
say that you had married my aunt?”
“Now listen whilst I tell you
the full story of my wickedness, and of my aunt who
married a white lord ”
Bones sat down in his chair and laid
back his head, listening with closed eyes.
“My aunt, O Sleepless One,”
began Bosambo, and Bones heard the story in fragments.
“... Coast woman ... great lord ... fine
drier of cloth....”
Bosambo droned on in a monotonous
tone, and Bones, open-mouthed, his head rolling from
side to side, breathed regularly.
At a gesture from Bosambo, the man
who sat in the canoe slipped lightly ashore.
Bosambo pointed to the cairn, but he himself did not
move, nor did he check his fluent narrative.
Working with feverish, fervent energy,
the men of Bosambo’s party loaded the great
tusks in the canoes. At last all the work was
finished and Bosambo rose.
“Wake up, Bones.”
Lieutenant Tibbetts stumbled to his feet glaring and
grimacing wildly.
“Parade all correct, sir,”
he said, “the mail boat has just come in, an’
there’s a jolly old salmon for supper.”
“Wake up, you dreaming devil,” said Hamilton.
Bones looked around. In the bright
moonlight he saw the Zaïre moored to the shelving
beach, saw Hamilton, and turned his head to the empty
cairn.
“Good Lord!” he gasped.
“O Sleepless One!” said Hamilton softly,
“O bright eyes!”
Bones went blundering to the cairn,
made a closer inspection, and came slowly back.
“There’s only one thing
for me to do, sir,” he said, saluting. “As
an officer an’ a gentleman, I must blow my brains
out.”
“Brains!” said Hamilton scornfully.
“As a matter of fact I sent
Bosambo to collect the ivory which I shall divide
amongst the three chiefs it’s perished
ivory, anyhow; and he had my written authority to
take it, but being a born thief he preferred to steal
it; you’ll find it stacked in your cabin, Bones.”
“In my cabin, sir!” said
an indignant Bones; “there isn’t room in
my cabin, sir. How the dickens am I going to
sleep?”