Susy Suffern’s explanation did
not end till after ten o’clock, and she had
just gone when Franklin Ide, who, complying with an
old New York tradition, had caused himself to be preceded
by a long white box of roses, was shown into Mrs.
Lidcote’s sitting-room.
He came forward with his shy half-humorous
smile and, taking her hand, looked at her for a moment
without speaking.
“It’s all right,” he then pronounced.
Mrs. Lidcote returned his smile.
“It’s extraordinary. Everything’s
changed. Even Susy has changed; and you know the
extent to which Susy used to represent the old New
York. There’s no old New York left, it
seems. She talked in the most amazing way.
She snaps her fingers at the Pursues. She told
me me, that every woman had a right
to happiness and that self-expression was the highest
duty. She accused me of misunderstanding Leila;
she said my point of view was conventional! She
was bursting with pride at having been in the secret,
and wearing a brooch that Wilbour Barkley’d
given her!” Franklin Ide had seated himself
in the arm-chair she had pushed forward for him under
the electric chandelier. He threw back his head
and laughed. “What did I tell you?”
“Yes; but I can’t believe
that Susy’s not mistaken. Poor dear, she
has the habit of lost causes; and she may feel that,
having stuck to me, she can do no less than stick
to Leila.”
“But she didn’t did
she? openly defy the world for you?
She didn’t snap her fingers at the Lidcotes?”
Mrs. Lidcote shook her head, still
smiling. “No. It was enough to defy
my family. It was doubtful at one time
if they would tolerate her seeing me, and she almost
had to disinfect herself after each visit. I
believe that at first my sister-in-law wouldn’t
let the girls come down when Susy dined with her.”
“Well, isn’t your cousin’s
present attitude the best possible proof that times
have changed?”
“Yes, yes; I know.”
She leaned forward from her sofa-corner, fixing her
eyes on his thin kindly face, which gleamed on her
indistinctly through her tears. “If it’s
true, it’s it’s dazzling.
She says Leila’s perfectly happy. It’s
as if an angel had gone about lifting gravestones,
and the buried people walked again, and the living
didn’t shrink from them.”
“That’s about it,” he assented.
She drew a deep breath, and sat looking
away from him down the long perspective of lamp-fringed
streets over which her windows hung.
“I can understand how happy
you must be,” he began at length.
She turned to him impetuously.
“Yes, yes; I’m happy. But I’m
lonely, too lonelier than ever. I
didn’t take up much room in the world before;
but now where is there a corner for me?
Oh. since I’ve begun to confess myself, why
shouldn’t I go on? Telling you this lifts
a gravestone from me! You see, before this,
Leila needed me. She was unhappy, and I knew
it, and though we hardly ever talked of it I felt that,
in a way, the thought that I’d been through
the same thing, and down to the dregs of it, helped
her. And her needing me helped me.
And when the news of her marriage came my first thought
was that now she’d need me more than ever, that
she’d have no one but me to turn to. Yes,
under all my distress there was a fierce joy in that.
It was so new and wonderful to feel again that there
was one person who wouldn’t be able to get on
without me! And now what you and Susy tell me
seems to have taken my child from me; and just at
first that’s all I can feel.”
“Of course it’s all you
feel.” He looked at her musingly. “Why
didn’t Leila come to meet you?”
“That was really my fault.
You see, I’d cabled that I was not sure of being
able to get off on the Utopia, and apparently
my second cable was delayed, and when she received
it she’d already asked some people over Sunday one
or two of her old friends, Susy says. I’m
so glad they should have wanted to go to her at once;
but naturally I’d rather have been alone with
her.”
“You still mean to go, then?”
“Oh, I must. Susy wanted
to drag me off to Ridgefield with her over Sunday,
and Leila sent me word that of course I might go if
I wanted to, and that I was not to think of her; but
I know how disappointed she would be. Susy said
she was afraid I might be upset at her having people
to stay, and that, if I minded, she wouldn’t
urge me to come. But if they don’t
mind, why should I? And of course, if they’re
willing to go to Leila it must mean ”
“Of course. I’m glad
you recognize that,” Franklin Ide exclaimed
abruptly. He stood up and went over to her, taking
her hand with one of his quick gestures. “There’s
something I want to say to you,” he began
The next morning, in the train, through
all the other contending thoughts in Mrs. Lidcote’s
mind there ran the warm undercurrent of what Franklin
Ide had wanted to say to her.
He had wanted, she knew, to say it
once before, when, nearly eight years earlier, the
hazard of meeting at the end of a rainy autumn in
a deserted Swiss hotel had thrown them for a fortnight
into unwonted propinquity. They had walked and
talked together, borrowed each other’s books
and newspapers, spent the long chill evenings over
the fire in the dim lamplight of her little pitch-pine
sitting-room; and she had been wonderfully comforted
by his presence, and hard frozen places in her had
melted, and she had known that she would be desperately
sorry when he went. And then, just at the end,
in his odd indirect way, he had let her see that it
rested with her to have him stay. She could still
relive the sleepless night she had given to that discovery.
It was preposterous, of course, to think of repaying
his devotion by accepting such a sacrifice; but how
find reasons to convince him? She could not bear
to let him think her less touched, less inclined to
him than she was: the generosity of his love
deserved that she should repay it with the truth.
Yet how let him see what she felt, and yet refuse what
he offered? How confess to him what had been
on her lips when he made the offer: “I’ve
seen what it did to one man; and there must never,
never be another”? The tacit ignoring of
her past had been the element in which their friendship
lived, and she could not suddenly, to him of all men,
begin to talk of herself like a guilty woman in a
play. Somehow, in the end, she had managed it,
had averted a direct explanation, had made him understand
that her life was over, that she existed only for her
daughter, and that a more definite word from him would
have been almost a breach of delicacy. She was
so used to be having as if her life were over!
And, at any rate, he had taken her hint, and she had
been able to spare her sensitiveness and his.
The next year, when he came to Florence to see her,
they met again in the old friendly way; and that till
now had continued to be the tenor of their intimacy.
And now, suddenly and unexpectedly,
he had brought up the question again, directly this
time, and in such a form that she could not evade
it: putting the renewal of his plea, after so
long an interval, on the ground that, on her own showing,
her chief argument against it no longer existed.
“You tell me Leila’s happy.
If she’s happy, she doesn’t need you need
you, that is, in the same way as before. You wanted,
I know, to be always in reach, always free and available
if she should suddenly call you to her or take refuge
with you. I understood that I respected
it. I didn’t urge my case because I saw
it was useless. You couldn’t, I understood
well enough, have felt free to take such happiness
as life with me might give you while she was unhappy,
and, as you imagined, with no hope of release.
Even then I didn’t feel as you did about it;
I understood better the trend of things here.
But ten years ago the change hadn’t really come;
and I had no way of convincing you that it was coming.
Still, I always fancied that Leila might not think
her case was closed, and so I chose to think that
ours wasn’t either. Let me go on thinking
so, at any rate, till you’ve seen her, and confirmed
with your own eyes what Susy Suffern tells you.”