All through what Susy Suffern told
and retold her during their four-hours’ flight
to the hills this plea of Ide’s kept coming
back to Mrs. Lidcote. She did not yet know what
she felt as to its bearing on her own fate, but it
was something on which her confused thoughts could
stay themselves amid the welter of new impressions,
and she was inexpressibly glad that he had said what
he had, and said it at that particular moment.
It helped her to hold fast to her identity in the
rush of strange names and new categories that her cousin’s
talk poured out on her.
With the progress of the journey Miss
Suffern’s communications grew more and more
amazing. She was like a cicerone preparing the
mind of an inexperienced traveller for the marvels
about to burst on it.
“You won’t know Leila.
She’s had her pearls reset. Sargent’s
to paint her. Oh, and I was to tell you that
she hopes you won’t mind being the least bit
squeezed over Sunday. The house was built by Wilbour’s
father, you know, and it’s rather old-fashioned only
ten spare bedrooms. Of course that’s small
for what they mean to do, and she’ll show you
the new plans they’ve had made. Their idea
is to keep the present house as a wing. She told
me to explain she’s so dreadfully
sorry not to be able to give you a sitting-room just
at first. They’re thinking of Egypt for
next winter, unless, of course, Wilbour gets his appointment.
Oh, didn’t she write you about that? Why,
he wants Borne, you know the second secretaryship.
Or, rather, he wanted England; but Leila insisted that
if they went abroad she must be near you. And
of course what she says is law. Oh, they quite
hope they’ll get it. You see Horace’s
uncle is in the Cabinet, one of the assistant
secretaries, and I believe he has a good
deal of pull ”
“Horace’s uncle?
You mean Wilbour’s, I suppose,” Mrs. Lidcote
interjected, with a gasp of which a fraction was given
to Miss Suffern’s flippant use of the language.
“Wilbour’s? No, I
don’t. I mean Horace’s. There’s
no bad feeling between them, I assure you. Since
Horace’s engagement was announced you
didn’t know Horace was engaged? Why, he’s
marrying one of Bishop Thorbury’s girls:
the red-haired one who wrote the novel that every one’s
talking about, ‘This Flesh of Mine.’
They’re to be married in the cathedral.
Of course Horace can, because it was Leila
who but, as I say, there’s not the
least feeling, and Horace wrote himself to his
uncle about Wilbour.”
Mrs. Lidcote’s thoughts fled
back to what she had said to Ide the day before on
the deck of the Utopia. “I didn’t
take up much room before, but now where is there a
corner for me?” Where indeed in this crowded,
topsy-turvey world, with its headlong changes and helter-skelter
readjustments, its new tolerances and indifférences
and accommodations, was there room for a character
fashioned by slower sterner processes and a life broken
under their inexorable pressure? And then, in
a flash, she viewed the chaos from a new angle, and
order seemed to move upon the void. If the old
processes were changed, her case was changed with them;
she, too, was a part of the general readjustment, a
tiny fragment of the new pattern worked out in bolder
freer harmonies. Since her daughter had no penalty
to pay, was not she herself released by the same stroke?
The rich arrears of youth and joy were gone; but was
there not time enough left to accumulate new stores
of happiness? That, of course, was what Franklin
Ide had felt and had meant her to feel. He had
seen at once what the change in her daughter’s
situation would make in her view of her own.
It was almost wondrously enough! as
if Leila’s folly had been the means of vindicating
hers.
Everything else for the moment faded
for Mrs. Lidcote in the glow of her daughter’s
embrace. It was unnatural, it was almost terrifying,
to find herself standing on a strange threshold, under
an unknown roof, in a big hall full of pictures, flowers,
firelight, and hurrying servants, and in this spacious
unfamiliar confusion to discover Leila, bareheaded,
laughing, authoritative, with a strange young man jovially
echoing her welcome and transmitting her orders; but
once Mrs. Lidcote had her child on her breast, and
her child’s “It’s all right, you
old darling!” in her ears, every other feeling
was lost in the deep sense of well-being that only
Leila’s hug could give.
The sense was still with her, warming
her veins and pleasantly fluttering her heart, as
she went up to her room after luncheon. A little
constrained by the presence of visitors, and not altogether
sorry to defer for a few hours the “long talk”
with her daughter for which she somehow felt herself
tremulously unready, she had withdrawn, on the plea
of fatigue, to the bright luxurious bedroom into which
Leila had again and again apologized for having been
obliged to squeeze her. The room was bigger and
finer than any in her small apartment in Florence;
but it was not the standard of affluence implied in
her daughter’s tone about it that chiefly struck
her, nor yet the finish and complexity of its appointments.
It was the look it shared with the rest of the house,
and with the perspective of the gardens beneath its
windows, of being part of an “establishment” of
something solid, avowed, founded on sacraments and
precedents and principles. There was nothing about
the place, or about Leila and Wilbour, that suggested
either passion or peril: their relation seemed
as comfortable as their furniture and as respectable
as their balance at the bank.
This was, in the whole confusing experience,
the thing that confused Mrs. Lidcote most, that gave
her at once the deepest feeling of security for Leila
and the strongest sense of apprehension for herself.
Yes, there was something oppressive in the completeness
and compactness of Leila’s well-being.
Ide had been right: her daughter did not need
her. Leila, with her first embrace, had unconsciously
attested the fact in the same phrase as Ide himself
and as the two young women with the hats. “It’s
all right, you old darling!” she had said; and
her mother sat alone, trying to fit herself into the
new scheme of things which such a certainty betokened.
Her first distinct feeling was one
of irrational resentment. If such a change was
to come, why had it not come sooner? Here was
she, a woman not yet old, who had paid with the best
years of her life for the theft of the happiness that
her daughter’s contemporaries were taking as
their due. There was no sense, no sequence, in
it. She had had what she wanted, but she had
had to pay too much for it. She had had to pay
the last bitterest price of learning that love has
a price: that it is worth so much and no more.
She had known the anguish of watching the man she
loved discover this first, and of reading the discovery
in his eyes. It was a part of her history that
she had not trusted herself to think of for a long
time past: she always took a big turn about that
haunted corner. But now, at the sight of the
young man downstairs, so openly and jovially Leila’s,
she was overwhelmed at the senseless waste of her own
adventure, and wrung with the irony of perceiving that
the success or failure of the deepest human experiences
may hang on a matter of chronology.
Then gradually the thought of Ide
returned to her. “I chose to think that
our case wasn’t closed,” he had said.
She had been deeply touched by that. To every
one else her case had been closed so long! Finis
was scrawled all over her. But here was one man
who had believed and waited, and what if what he believed
in and waited for were coming true? If Leila’s
“all right” should really foreshadow hers?
As yet, of course, it was impossible
to tell. She had fancied, indeed, when she entered
the drawing-room before luncheon, that a too-sudden
hush had fallen on the assembled group of Leila’s
friends, on the slender vociferous young women and
the lounging golf-stockinged young men. They
had all received her politely, with the kind of petrified
politeness that may be either a tribute to age or a
protest at laxity; but to them, of course, she must
be an old woman because she was Leila’s mother,
and in a society so dominated by youth the mere presence
of maturity was a constraint.
One of the young girls, however, had
presently emerged from the group, and, attaching herself
to Mrs. Lidcote, had listened to her with a blue gaze
of admiration which gave the older woman a sudden happy
consciousness of her long-forgotten social graces.
It was agreeable to find herself attracting this young
Charlotte Wynn, whose mother had been among her closest
friends, and in whom something of the soberness and
softness of the earlier manners had survived.
But the little colloquy, broken up by the announcement
of luncheon, could of course result in nothing more
definite than this reminiscent emotion.
No, she could not yet tell how her
own case was to be fitted into the new order of things;
but there were more people “older
people” Leila had put it arriving
by the afternoon train, and that evening at dinner
she would doubtless be able to judge. She began
to wonder nervously who the new-comers might be.
Probably she would be spared the embarrassment of
finding old acquaintances among them; but it was odd
that her daughter had mentioned no names.
Leila had proposed that, later in
the afternoon, Wilbour should take her mother for
a drive: she said she wanted them to have a “nice,
quiet talk.” But Mrs. Lidcote wished her
talk with Leila to come first, and had, moreover,
at luncheon, caught stray allusions to an impending
tennis-match in which her son-in-law was engaged.
Her fatigue had been a sufficient pretext for declining
the drive, and she had begged Leila to think of her
as peacefully resting in her room till such time as
they could snatch their quiet moment.
“Before tea, then, you duck!”
Leila with a last kiss had decided; and presently
Mrs. Lidcote, through her open window, had heard the
fresh loud voices of her daughter’s visitors
chiming across the gardens from the tennis-court.