By Edward Bellamy
1898
Mr. Joseph Kilgore was suffering from
one of those spring influenzas which make a man
feel as if he were his own grandfather. His nose
had acquired the shape of a turnip and the complexion
of a beet. All his bones ached as if he had been
soundly thrashed, and his eyes were weak and watery.
Your deadly disease is oftener than not a gentleman
who takes your life without mauling you, but the minor
diseases are mere bruisers who just go in for making
one as uncomfortable and unpresentable as possible.
Mr. Kilgore’s influenza had been coming on for
several days, and when he woke up this particular morning
and heard the rain dripping on the piazza-roof just
under his bedroom-window, he concluded, like a sensible
man, that he would stay at home and nurse himself
over the fire that day, instead of going to the office.
So he turned over and snoozed for an hour or two,
luxuriating in a sense of aches and pains just pronounced
enough to make the warmth and softness of the bed
delightful.
Toward noon, the edge of this enjoyment
becoming dulled, he got up, dressed, and came downstairs
to the parlor, where his brother’s wife (he
was a bachelor, living with a married brother) had
considerately kindled up a coal-fire in the grate
for his benefit.
After lying off in the rocking-chair
till past dinner-time, he began to feel better and
consequently restless. Concluding that he would
like to read, he went rummaging about the bookcases
for a likely-looking novel. At length he found
in the upper shelf of a closet a book called “Roles
of a Detective,” containing various thrilling
accounts of crimes and the entanglement of criminals
in the meshes of law and evidence.
One story in particular made a strong
impression on his mind. It was a tale of circumstantial
evidence, and about how it very nearly hung an innocent
man for a murder which he had no thought of committing.
It struck Joseph rather forcibly that this victim of
circumstantial evidence was as respectable and inoffensive
a person as himself, and probably had never any more
thought of being in danger from the law. Circumstances
had set their trap for him while he was quite unconscious
of peril, and he only awoke to find himself in the
toils. And from this he went on to reflect upon
the horrible but unquestionable fact that every year
a certain proportion, and perhaps a very considerable
proportion, of those who suffered the penalties of
the law, and even the death-penalty, are innocent
men, victims of false or mistaken evidence.
No man, however wise or virtuous, can be sure that
he will not be taken in this fearful conscription
of victims to the blind deity of justice. “None
can tell,” thought Joseph, with a shudder, “that
the word he is saying, the road he is turning, the
appointment he is making, or whatever other innocent
act he is now engaged in, may not prove the last mesh
in some self-woven death-net, the closing link in some
damning chain of evidence whose devilish subtlety
shall half convince him that he must be guilty as
it wholly convinces others.”
Timidity is generally associated with
imaginativeness, if not its result, and Joseph, although
he concealed the fact pretty well under the mask of
reticence, was constitutionally very timid. He
had an unprofitable habit of taking every incident
of possible embarrassment or danger that occurred
to his mind as the suggestion for imaginary situations
of inconvenience or peril, which he would then work
out, fancying how he would feel and what he would
do, with the utmost elaboration, and often with really
more nervous excitement than he would be likely to
experience if the events supposed should really occur.
So now, and all the more because he was a little out
of sorts, the suggestions of this story began to take
the form in his mind of an imaginary case of circumstantial
evidence of which he was the victim. His fancy
worked up the details of a fictitious case against
himself, which he, although perfectly innocent, could
meet with nothing more than his bare denial.
He imagined the first beginnings of
suspicion; he saw it filming the eyes of his acquaintances,
then of his friends, and at last sicklying over the
face even of his brother Silas. In fancy he made
frantic attempts to regain the confidence of his friends,
to break through the impalpable, impenetrable barrier
which the first stir of suspicion had put between
their minds and his. He cried, he begged, he pleaded.
But in vain, all in vain. Suspicion had made
his appeals and adjurations sound even to his
friends as strange and meaningless as the Babel-builders’
words of a sudden became to each other. The yellow
badge of suspicion once upon him, all men kept afar,
as if he were a fever-ship in quarantine. No
solitary imprisonment in a cell of stone could so utterly
exclude him from the fellowship of men as the invisible
walls of this dungeon of suspicion. And at last
he saw himself giving up the hopeless struggle, yielding
to his fate in dumb despair, only praying that the
end might come speedily, perhaps even reduced to the
abject-ness of confessing the crime he had not committed,
in order that he might at least have the pity of men,
since he could not regain their confidence. And
so strongly had this vision taken hold on him that
his breath came irregularly, and his forehead was
damp as he drew his hand across it.
As has been intimated, it was Mr.
Joseph Kil-gore’s very bad habit to waste his
nervous tissue in the conscientiously minute elaboration
of such painful imaginary situations as that above
described, and in his present experience there was
nothing particularly novel or extraordinary for him.
It was the occurrence of a singular coincidence between
this internal experience and a wholly independent
course of actual events, which made that waking nightmare
the beginning of a somewhat remarkable comedy, or,
more properly, a tragedy, of errors. For, as Joseph
lay back in his chair, in a state of nervous exhaustion
and moral collapse, the parlor-door was thrown open,
and Mrs. Silas Kilgore, his sister-in-law, burst into
the room. She was quite pale, and her black eyes
were fixed on Joseph’s with the eager intensity,
as if seeking moral support, noticeable in those who
communicate startling news which they have not had
time to digest.
The effect of this apparition upon
Joseph in his unstrung condition may be readily imagined.
He sprang up, much paler than Mrs. Kilgore, his lips
apart, and his eyes staring with the premonition of
something shocking. These symptoms of extraordinary
excitement even before she had spoken, and this air
as if he had expected a shocking revelation, recurred
to her mind later, in connection with other circumstances,
but just now she was too full of her intelligence
to dwell on anything else.
“A man was murdered in our barn
last night. They ’ve found the body!”
she exclaimed.
As the meaning of her words broke
on him, Joseph was filled with that sort of mental
confusion which one experiences when the scene or
circumstances of a dream recur in actual life.
Was he still dreaming that ghostly vision of suspicion
and the death-trap of circumstances? Was this
a mere continuation of it? No, he was awake; his
sister-in-law standing there, with pallid face and
staring eyes, was not an apparition. The horrid,
fatal reality which he had been imagining was actually
upon him.
“I did not do it!” dropped from his ashen
lips.
“You do it? Are you crazy?
Who said anything about your doing it?” cried
the astounded woman.
The ring of genuine amazement in her
voice was scarcely needed to recall Joseph to the
practical bearing of his surroundings, and break the
spell of superstitious dread. The sound of his
own words had done it. With a powerful effort
he regained something like self-control, and said,
with a forced laugh:
“What an absurd thing for me
to say! I don’t know what I could have been
thinking of. Very odd, was it not? But, dear
me! a man murdered in our barn? You don’t
tell me! How terrible!”
His constrained, overdone manner was
not calculated to abate Mrs. Kilgore’s astonishment,
and she continued to stare at him with an expression
in which a vague terror began to appear. There
are few shorter transitions than that from panic to
anger. Seeing that her astonishment at his reception
of the news increased rather than diminished, he became
exasperated at the intolerable position in which he
was placed. His face, before so pale, flushed
with anger.
“Damnation! What are you
staring at me that way for?” he cried fiercely.
Mrs. Kilgore gave a little cry, half
of indignation, half of fright, and went out of the
room, shutting the door after her.
Joseph had ample opportunity to review
the situation before he was again disturbed, which,
indeed, was not till some hours later, at dusk, when
Silas came home, and the tea-table was set. Silas
had been promptly summoned from his shop when the
discovery of the body was made, and had been busy
all the afternoon with the police, the coroner, and
the crowds of visitors to the scene of the tragedy.
The conversation at the tea-table
ran entirely upon the various incidents of the discovery,
the inquest, and the measures of the police for the
apprehension of the criminal. Mrs. Kilgore was
so full of questions that she scarcely gave Silas
time to answer, and Joseph flattered himself that
his comparative silence was not noticeable. Nevertheless,
as they rose from the table, Silas remarked:
“You don’t seem much interested
in our murder, Joseph; you have n’t asked the
first question about it.”
Mrs. Kilgore was just leaving the
room, and she turned her head to see how he would
answer. But he, too, turned off the matter by
saying something about Maria’s loquaciousness
having left him no chance. After tea the little
family circle was gathered in the parlor. Mrs.
Kilgore was sewing; Silas read the newspaper, and
Joseph sat up by the fire. From time to time,
as he glanced around, he caught Mrs. Kilgore’s
eyes studying him very intently. Her manner indicated
that her indignation at his behavior and language
earlier in the afternoon had been quite neutralized
by her curiosity as to its cause.
“There ’s nothing in the
paper to-night but the murder, and I know that already,”
exclaimed Silas, finally. “Maria, where’s
there something to read? Hullo! what’s
this?”
He had taken up from the table the
story of circumstantial evidence which Joseph had
been reading that morning.
“Why, Maria, here’s that
murder-book you wouldn’t let me finish last
summer for fear I’d murder you some night.
Who on earth hunted up that book of all books, to-day
of all days?”
“I did,” replied Joseph,
clearing his throat, in order to speak with a natural
inflection.
“You did?” exclaimed Silas.
“You must have looked the house
over to find it, for I hid it carefully,” said
Mrs. Kilgore, looking sharply at him. “What
made you so anxious to get it?”
“I was not particularly anxious.
I was merely looking for something to read,”
said Joseph, making a pretense of yawning, as if the
matter was a very trivial one.
“I suppose the murder brought
it to his mind,” said Silas.
“Why, no!” exclaimed Mrs.
Kilgore quickly. “You must have been reading
it before the murder. Now that I remember, I saw
it in your hands.”
“Before the murder, were you,
Joseph? Why, that’s almost enough to make
one feel superstitious,” said Silas, turning
around in his chair, so as to look fairly at him.
Joseph had half a mind to make a clean
breast of the matter then and there, and explain to
them how curiously the reading of that book had affected
him. But he reflected that Silas was rather unimaginative,
and would probably be more mystified than enlightened
by his explanation.
“I do believe it was reading
that book which made you act so queerly when I brought
you in the news of the murder,” pursued Mrs.
Kilgore.
“How is that? How did he act queerly?”
asked Silas.
“I am not aware that I acted queerly at all,”
said Joseph doggedly.
He knew well enough he had acted queerly,
and did not mean to deny that; but, as children and
confused persons often do, he answered to the underlying
motive rather than the language. He only thought
of denying the inference of suspicion that her words
seemed to him to suggest. But to Mrs. Kilgore
he very naturally seemed to be prevaricating.
“Why, Joseph!” said she,
in a raised voice, and with a slight asperity; “you
know how you jumped up, looking like a ghost, the moment
I opened the door, and the first thing you said after
I ’d told you that they ’d found a murdered
man in the barn, was Why, Joseph, what’s
the matter?”
But I must go back a little.
When the conversation turned on the book and Joseph’s
connection with it, a minute or so previous, Silas
had quite naturally glanced over at his brother, and,
as the talk went on, his glance had become a somewhat
concentrated gaze, although expressive of nothing
but the curiosity and slight wonder which the circumstances
suggested. It would not do to have Silas think
that he avoided his eyes, and so Joseph had, as soon
as he felt this gaze, turned his own face rather sharply
toward it. He had meant merely to meet his brother’s
look in a natural and unaffected manner. But,
although never more sensible of just what such a manner
would be, he was utterly unable to compass it.
He was perfectly aware that the expression of his eyes
was much too serious and challenging, and
yet he could not, for the soul of him, modify it.
Nor did he dare to withdraw his gaze after it had once
met his brother’s, although knowing that it
was fast becoming a fierce stare, and perceiving that
Silas had already noticed something peculiar in it.
For to drop his eyes would be utter discomfiture and
rout. As Mrs. Kilgore alluded to his queer demeanor
when she told him the news, his face began to flush
with the anticipation of the revelation that was coming
at this most unfavorable moment, even while his eyes
were locked with the already startled ones of Silas.
As she went on, the flush covered the lower part of
his face, and rose like a spring-tide up his cheeks,
and lent a fierce, congested glare to his eyes.
He felt how woeful and irretrievable a thing it would
be for him just then to lose his countenance, and
at the thought the flush burned deeper and merged
higher. It overspread his high, bald, intellectual
forehead, and incarnadined his sconce up to the very
top of it. At this moment it was that Mrs. Kilgore
broke off her narrative with the exclamation, “Why,
Joseph, what’s the matter?”
At her words it seemed as if every
drop of blood in his body poured into his face.
He could endure it no longer. He rose abruptly,
strode out of the parlor, and went to his room, although
it was but eight o’clock, and he had no fire
there. If he had staid another moment he must
have brained Silas and his wife with the poker, such
an ungovernable anger boiled up in him with the sense
of his causeless, shameful discomfiture.
As Joseph left the parlor the eyes
of Silas and his wife met each other, his
dull with bewilderment and terror at a spectral fear;
hers keen with a definite suspicion. But even
her loquacity was subdued by a real fright. She
had nothing to say. Her sensation was like that
of one who, hunting a hare, stumbles upon a wolf.
She had been both offended and made curious by Joseph’s
demeanor that afternoon, but the horrid idea that
within a moment had been suggested to both their minds
had so little occurred to her as a serious possibility
that she was even on the point of rallying Joseph
on it before her husband. Some time after he
had left the parlor Silas asked, with averted face:
“What was it that he said when
you told him the news?” and then she repeated
his words.
And Joseph, sitting wild-eyed upon
his bed in the darkness in the room above, red no
longer, but pale as death, heard the murmur of the
voices, and knew that she was telling him. No
one of the household slept much that night, except
Mrs. Kil-gore. Whenever she awoke she heard her
husband tossing restlessly, but she dared not ask him
what was the matter. In vain did Silas rehearse
to himself all through the night-hours how petty were
the trifles in Joseph’s demeanor which had disturbed
him. They were of the sort of trifles which create
that species of certainty known as moral certainty, the
strongest of all in the mind it occupies, although
so incapable of being communicated to others.
It mattered little how much evidence there was, if
it sufficed to lodge the faintest trace of suspicion
in his mind. For, like some poisons, an atom
of suspicion is as fatal as the largest quantity, Nay,
perhaps, even more surely so, for against great suspicion
the mind often takes arms and makes valiant head;
but a little doubt, by its timid and hesitant demeanor,
disarms opposition, and is readily entertained.
And all that night, lying awake, and knowing that
Silas was sleepless just the other side of the partition,
and that the fungus of suspicion was moment by moment
overgrowing his mind, he could hardly wait for morning,
but would fain have rushed, even now in the darkness,
to his bedside to cry: “I did not do it!
Believe me, brother, I did not do it!”
In the morning, however, the sun shone
brightly into his room, and last night’s events
and misunderstandings seemed like a bad dream.
He went downstairs almost cheery. He did not
find Silas, but Mrs. Kilgore was about. He was
rather startled to observe the entire change in her
demeanor. Yesterday she was constantly following
him up with her sharp black eyes and brisk questions
and exclamations, but now she seemed frightened, acted
in a constrained manner, and avoided his eyes.
“Where is Silas?” he asked, as they sat
down to table.
“He said that there was something
he must see to at the shop before work began, so he
had an early breakfast,” replied Mrs. Kilgore,
with her eyes on her plate.
Had she been looking up, she would
have seen a piteous constriction in the muscles of
Joseph’s face. His heart was sick, and all
his regained courage sank away. It was no bad
dream. Silas was afraid to meet him. He
left his meal untasted, and went to the office.
A dozen acquaintances stopped him on his way down-street
to ask about the murder; and all day long somebody
was dropping in to pester him on the same subject.
He told them with a dull, abstracted air all the fresh
details he knew, but felt all the time as if he cheated
each auditor of the vital part of the matter, in that
he failed to shout after him:
“Silas suspects me of it!”
Silas had, indeed, left the house
early for the purpose of avoiding his brother.
He was in a condition of mind and nerve in which he
did not dare to meet him. At tea the brothers
met for the first time since the night previous.
There was a constraint between them like that between
strangers, but stronger and more chilling far than
ever that is. There is no chill like that which
comes between friends, and the nearer the friends
the more deathly the cold. Silas made a little
effort to speak of business-matters, but could not
keep it up, and soon a silence settled over the party,
only broken by the words of table-service. Mrs.
Kilgore sat pale and frightened all through the meal
without venturing a single phrase, and scarcely looking
up from her plate.
The silence was of that kind which
all felt to be more expressive than the loudest, most
explicit language could be, more merciless
than any form of verbal accusation. Such silence
is a terribly perfect medium, in which souls are compelled
to touch each other, resent as they may the contact.
Several times Joseph was on the point of rising and
rushing from the table. How many more such meals
could he stand or could they stand? All of them
recognized that the situation had become perceptibly
more serious and more pronounced on account of that
silent tea-table.
There was in particular not the slightest
allusion made by any one to the murder, which, seeing
that it had happened but yesterday, and would naturally
still have been an engrossing topic, was an omission
so pointed as to be an open charge of guilt. There
is such a thing as emphasizing a topic by suppressing
it, as letters are sunk into stone. The omission
impressed Silas as it did Joseph, but, regarding it
from his point of view, it did not occur to him but
that Joseph was the one solely responsible for it.
He, Silas, had refrained from reference to it because
his suspicions in regard to Joseph made the topic unendurable.
But he could not imagine that Joseph could have had
any other motive for his silence on the subject but
a guilty conscience, some secret knowledge
of the crime. Thus regarded, it was a terrible
confirmation. That a perception that he was suspected
might cause an innocent man to act very much as if
he were conscious of guilt did not occur to Silas,
as, perhaps, it would have failed to occur to most
persons in just his position.
After leaving the tea-table the brothers
went together into the parlor, according to the family
custom. They took their accustomed seats on opposite
sides of the fireplace, but there was no conversation.
A veil was between them. Both were thinking of
the same thing, thinking of it intensely, and
each knew that the other was thinking of it, and yet
neither for worlds could have commanded the courage
to speak of it. The suspicion had grown definite
in Silas’s mind, and yet, whenever he brought
himself to the point of putting it in words, it suddenly
seemed impossible, cruel, and absurd. But if
Silas found it impossible to speak, far more so it
seemed to Joseph.
To charge another with suspecting
us is half to confess ourselves worthy of suspicion.
It is demoralizing, it is to abandon the
pride of conscious rectitude. To deny an accusation
is to concede to it a possibility, a color of reason;
and Joseph shrank with unutterable repugnance from
that. He felt that he could be torn limb from
limb sooner than betray by a word that he recognized
the existence of suspicion so abominable. Besides,
of what avail would be a denial without evidence to
disprove a suspicion which had arisen without evidence?
It was a thing too impalpable to contend with.
As well fight a fog as seek to destroy by mere denial
suspicion so vague, unsubstantial, and subtile, as
that which enveloped him. Silas would, of course,
eagerly accept his denial; he well knew how he would
spring to his side, how warm and firm would be his
hand-clasp, and how great, perhaps, his momentary
relief. But he was, after all, but human, and
no man can control his doubts. Silas would still
be unable, when he thought the matter over, to help
the feeling that there was, after all, something very
strange about his conduct from first to last.
It is the subtiler nature of doubt to penetrate the
heart more profoundly than confidence, and to underlie
it. No generous St. George of faith can reach
the nether den where it lurks. Or, rather, is
it like the ineradicable witch-grass which, though
it be hewed off at the surface, still lives at the
root, and springs forth luxuriantly again at the first
favoring season?
Moreover, Joseph hoped that some circumstance,
the detection of the murderer, or a healthier moral
tone, might dissipate the cloud of suspicion between
them, and then it would be far better not to have
spoken, for, once put in words, the hateful thing would
ever remain a mutual memory, never again to be denied,
and which might come up to their minds whenever they
looked each other in the eye thereafter. And
so the brothers sat opposite each other in silence,
their faces growing grayer as the clock ticked.
“The weather is growing cooler
again,” said Joseph, at last, rising to go to
his room.
It was at least two hours before his
usual bedtime, but he could sit there no longer.
“Yes, I think we shall have
a frost,” replied Silas, and the brothers parted.
After Joseph had gone, Mrs. Kilgore
came into the parlor and sat down with some sewing.
She waited for her husband to speak and tell her if
Joseph had said anything. But he sat there staring
at the wall, and took no notice of her. Although
she knew so well what had been preying upon his mind
since last evening, yet he had not once referred to
the matter, and she had not dared to do so. It
was hard for a talkative little lady like her to understand
this reticence about a matter so deeply felt.
She could not comprehend that there may be griefs
so ghastly that we dare not lift from them the veil
of silence. She wanted to “talk it over”
a little. She felt that would do Silas good,
because she knew it would be a relief to her.
Nor was she insensible to the gratification it would
afford her vanity to discuss so serious a matter with
her husband, whose general tone with her was one of
jest and pleasantry, to the disparagement of her intellectual
powers, as she thought. So, after glancing up
several times timidly at Silas’s still set profile,
she said, in a weighty little voice:
“Don’t you think Joseph
behaves very strangely about the murder?” Her
words seemed to be several seconds in making an impression
on Silas’s mind, and then he slowly turned his
face full upon her. It was a terrible look.
The squared jaw, the drawn lips, the dull, distant
stare, repulsed her as one might repulse a stranger
intermeddling with a bitter private grief. Who
was she, to come between him and his brother?
He did not seem to think it worth while to say anything
to explain so eloquent a glance, but immediately faced
about again, as if dismissing the interruption from
his mind. Mrs. Kilgore did not try to make any
more conversation, but went to her bedroom and cried
herself to sleep.
But Silas sat in his chair in the
parlor, and took no note of the hours till the lamp
spluttered and went out. All through the evening,
in Joseph’s room, which was directly above,
he had heard him walking to and fro, to and fro, sitting
down awhile, and then starting again; and if the pacing
had not finally come to an end, Silas could not have
gone to bed, for his heart went out to his brother
wrestling there alone with his dreadful secret, and
he could not rest till he thought that he, too, was
at rest.
Indeed, for the very reason that Joseph
was so dear to him, and he felt nothing could change
that, he actually hesitated the less to admit these
horrible suspicions. Love is impatient of uncertainly,
and would rather presume the guilt of a friend from
its longing to pour itself out in pity and tenderness,
than restrain itself while judgment scrutinizes evidence
and decides by a straw’s weight.
A practical reflection, moreover, had occurred to
Silas.
If Joseph had really he
did not dare to say to himself what then
it was of the utmost importance that they should quickly
understand each other, so as to take steps to place
him in safety. His desire to share Joseph’s
horrible secret was like the feeling with which one
would fain uncover a friend’s loathsome disease
in order to help him. Before he went to sleep
that night he resolved, therefore, that he would win
his confidence by letting him see in every possible
way, short of actual words, that he suspected the
true state of things, and that Joseph might still
confide in him as a faithful brother who would stand
by him in the worst emergency.
On first meeting him the following
morning he began to carry out this project so worthy
of fraternal devotion. He sought occasion to shake
hands with Joseph, and gave a meaning pressure to his
clasp. At breakfast he was the only one who talked,
and endeavored by his manner to let Joseph understand
that he perfectly comprehended the situation, and
was talking to cover his embarrassment and prevent
Mrs. Kilgore from suspecting anything. Several
times also he managed to catch his brother’s
eye, and give him a glance implying sympathy and mutual
understanding. This demeanor added the last touch
to Joseph’s exasperation.
Evading Silas’s evident intention
of walking down-street, he got away alone, and took
both dinner and tea at a restaurant, to put off meeting
his brother and sister-in-law as long as possible.
He lingered long over his tea in the darkest, loneliest
corner of the eating-house, for the prospect, no longer
to be avoided, of returning home to confront his sister-in-law’s
frightened face and Silas’s pathetic glances
appeared intolerable. Wild ideas of flying from
the city and returning never, or not until the truth
about the murder had come to light, occurred to him.
He even began to arrange what sort of a letter he should
write to Silas. But men of forty, especially
of Joseph’s temperament, who have moved in the
same business and domestic ruts all their lives, do
not readily make up their minds to bold steps of this
sort. To endure suffering or inconvenience is
more natural than to change their settled habits.
So it all ended in his going home at about eight o’clock,
and being greatly relieved to find some callers there.
All three of this strangely stricken
family, indeed, shared that feeling. It was such
a rest from the nervous strain whenever either or
both were left alone with Joseph! The earnestness
with which Mrs. Kilgore pressed her guests to stay
a little longer was so unusual and apparently uncalled
for that I fancy Mr. and Mrs. Smith had a vague suspicion
that they were being made game of. But they would
have been disabused of that impression could they
have appreciated the sinking of heart with which their
hosts heard the frontdoor close, and realized that
they were again left to themselves. Only one thing
had occurred to mar the relief which the call had
afforded. The topic of the murder had been exhausted
before Joseph entered, but, just as she was leaving,
Mrs. Smith made a return to it, saying:
“Mrs. Kilgore, I was telling
my husband I should think you must be scared to be
in the house, for fear the murderer might still be
hanging around.”
Mrs. Kilgore shuddered, and cast an
instantaneous, wholly involuntary glance at Joseph.
Her husband intercepted it, and, catching his eye,
she saw an expression in it as if he could strangle
her for what was really only the fault of her nerves.
She stammered something, and the bustle of the retiring
guests covered her confusion well enough.
Unfortunately, Joseph, too, had caught
that sudden, terrified glance of his sister-in-law’s
at him, and it affected him more than anything that
had occurred in either of the two days since the murder.
As the guests took their leave, his head dropped on
his breast, and his arms fell by the sides of his
chair. Mr. Kilgore wanted to send his wife from
the room, but his voice stuck in his throat, his tongue
refused to move. They waited a moment, and then
Joseph said:
“Send for the police! For
God’s sake, take me out of this! I can’t
stand it any longer!”
It was not yet nine o’clock,
and a boy came by in the street crying:
“Extra! The Kilgore barn
murderer captured! Full confession!”
Although the words were perfectly
audible through the lowered windows to all in the
room, Mrs. Kilgore was the only one who took any mental
cognizance of them. Nor did either of the men,
who sat there like stones, take note of her as she
left the room. A minute later they heard her
scream, and she ran back with the open paper in her
hands.
“He did not do it! He is
crazy! They have found the murderer!”
Silas fixed an incredulous, questioning
stare upon his wife, and then turned quickly toward
his brother. As for Joseph, at first and for
several moments, he gave no sign that he had heard
at all. Then he slowly raised his eyes to his
brother’s face with a deliberate, cruel gaze
of contemptuous sarcasm and cold aversion. The
first effect of this great relief was to flood his
mind with bitter wrath at those who had done him the
great wrong from which, no thanks to them, he had been
rescued.
Mrs. Kilgore hastily read aloud, in
a breathless voice, the newspaper account It seemed
that two tramps had taken refuge in the barn from
the storm that had raged the night of the murder, and
getting into some quarrel before morning, one had
stabbed the other and fled, only to be captured two
days later and confess everything. When Mrs. Kilgore
ceased reading, Joseph said:
“It must be a great disappointment
for you that they are not going to hang me for it.
I sincerely condole with you.”
Mrs. Kilgore cried, “Oh, don’t!”
and Silas made a gesture of deprecation, but both
felt that Joseph had a right to revile them as he
chose, and they had no right to complain. But
he, even while he could not deny himself the gratification
of a little cruel reproach, knew that they were not
to be blamed, that they had been as much the victims
of a fatality as himself, and that this was one of
those peculiarly exasperating wrongs which do not
leave the sufferer even the satisfaction of being
angry. Soon he got up and walked across the room,
stretched himself, drew his hand over his forehead,
and said:
“I feel as if I had just been
dug up after being buried alive.”
At this sign of returning equanimity,
Silas took courage and ventured to say:
“I know we ’ve been
a pair of crazy fools, Joe, but you ’re a little
to blame. What’s made you act so queerly?
You won’t deny that you have acted so?”
Joseph smiled, one does
n’t appreciate the pure luxury of a smile until
he has been deprived of it for a while, lit
a cigar, sat down with his legs over the arm of his
arm-chair, he had not indulged in an unconstrained
posture for two days, and told his side
of the story. He explained how, thanks to that
tale he was reading, and the ghastly reverie it suggested,
his nerves were all on edge when Mrs. Kilgore burst
in with a piece of news whose extraordinary coincidence
with his train of thought had momentarily thrown him
off his balance; and he tried to make them see that,
after that first scene, all the rest was a logical
sequence.
Mrs. Kilgore, by virtue of her finer
feminine nervous organization, understood him so readily
that he saw he had made a mistake in not unbosoming
himself to her at first. But Silas evidently did
not so easily take his idea.
“But why did n’t you just
tell us that you had n’t done it, and end the
misunderstanding at one blow?” he asked.
“Why, don’t you see,”
replied Joseph, “that to deny a thing before
you are distinctly suspected of it is to suggest suspicion;
while to deny it afterward, unless you have proof
to offer, is useless?”
“What should we have come to
but for the capture of the real murderer?” cried
Mrs. Kilgore, with a shudder.