Bertram told a friend afterwards that
he never knew the meaning of the word “chaos”
until he had seen the Strata during the weeks immediately
following the laying away of his old servant.
“Every stratum was aquiver with
apprehension,” he declared; “and there
was never any telling when the next grand upheaval
would rock the whole structure to its foundations.”
Nor was Bertram so far from being
right. It was, indeed, a chaos, as none knew
better than did Bertram’s wife.
Poor Billy! Sorry indeed were
these days for Billy; and, as if to make her cup of
woe full to overflowing, there were Sister Kate’s
epistolary “I told you so,” and Aunt Hannah’s
ever recurring lament: “If only, Billy,
you were a practical housekeeper yourself, they wouldn’t
impose on you so!”
Aunt Hannah, to be sure, offered Rosa,
and Kate, by letter, offered advice plenty
of it. But Billy, stung beyond all endurance,
and fairly radiating hurt pride and dogged determination,
disdained all assistance, and, with head held high,
declared she was getting along very well, very well
indeed!
And this was the way she “got along.”
First came Nora. Nora was a blue-eyed,
black-haired Irish girl, the sixth that the despairing
Billy had interviewed on that fateful morning when
Bertram had summoned her to his aid. Nora stayed
two days. During her reign the entire Strata
echoed to banged doors, dropped china, and slammed
furniture. At her departure the Henshaws’
possessions were less by four cups, two saucers, one
plate, one salad bowl, two cut glass tumblers, and
a teapot the latter William’s choicest
bit of Lowestoft.
Olga came next. Olga was a Treasure.
She was low-voiced, gentle-eyed, and a good cook.
She stayed a week. By that time the growing frequency
of the disappearance of sundry small articles of value
and convenience led to Billy’s making a reluctant
search of Olga’s room and to Olga’s
departure; for the room was, indeed, a treasure house,
the Treasure having gathered unto itself other treasures.
Following Olga came a period of what
Bertram called “one night stands,” so
frequently were the dramatis personae below stairs
changed. Gretchen drank. Christine knew
only four words of English: salt, good-by, no,
and yes; and Billy found need occasionally of using
other words. Mary was impertinent and lazy.
Jennie could not even boil a potato properly, much
less cook a dinner. Sarah (colored) was willing
and pleasant, but insufferably untidy. Bridget
was neatness itself, but she had no conception of
the value of time. Her meals were always from
thirty to sixty minutes late, and half-cooked at that.
Vera sang when she wasn’t whistling and
as she was generally off the key, and always off the
tune, her almost frantic mistress dismissed her before
twenty-four hours had passed. Then came Mary Ellen.
Mary Ellen began well. She was
neat, capable, and obliging; but it did not take her
long to discover just how much and how little her
mistress really knew of practical housekeeping.
Matters and things were very different then.
Mary Ellen became argumentative, impertinent, and
domineering. She openly shirked her work, when
it pleased her so to do, and demanded perquisites
and privileges so insolently that even William asked
Billy one day whether Mary Ellen or Billy herself were
the mistress of the Strata: and Bertram, with
mock humility, inquired how soon Mary Ellen
would be wanting the house. Billy, in weary despair,
submitted to this bullying for almost a week; then,
in a sudden accession of outraged dignity that left
Mary Ellen gasping with surprise, she told the girl
to go.
And thus the days passed. The
maids came and the maids went, and, to Billy, each
one seemed a little worse than the one before.
Nowhere was there comfort, rest, or peacefulness.
The nights were a torture of apprehension, and the
days an even greater torture of fulfilment. Noise,
confusion, meals poorly cooked and worse served, dust,
disorder, and uncertainty. And this was home,
Billy told herself bitterly. No wonder that Bertram
telephoned more and more frequently that he had met
a friend, and was dining in town. No wonder that
William pushed back his plate almost every meal with
his food scarcely touched, and then wandered about
the house with that hungry, homesick, homeless look
that nearly broke her heart. No wonder, indeed!
And so it had come. It was true.
Aunt Hannah and Kate and the “Talk to Young
Wives” were right. She had not been fit
to marry Bertram. She had not been fit to marry
anybody. Her honeymoon was not only waning, but
going into a total eclipse. Had not Bertram already
declared that if she would tend to her husband and
her home a little more
Billy clenched her small hands and
set her round chin squarely.
Very well, she would show them.
She would tend to her husband and her home. She
fancied she could learn to run that house, and
run it well! And forthwith she descended to the
kitchen and told the then reigning tormentor that
her wages would be paid until the end of the week,
but that her services would be immediately dispensed
with.
Billy was well aware now that housekeeping
was a matter of more than muffins and date puffs.
She could gauge, in a measure, the magnitude of the
task to which she had set herself. But she did
not falter; and very systematically she set about
making her plans.
With a good stout woman to come in
twice a week for the heavier work, she believed she
could manage by herself very well until Eliza could
come back. At least she could serve more palatable
meals than the most of those that had appeared lately;
and at least she could try to make a home that would
not drive Bertram to club dinners, and Uncle William
to hungry wanderings from room to room. Meanwhile,
all the time, she could be learning, and in due course
she would reach that shining goal of Housekeeping
Efficiency, short of which according to
Aunt Hannah and the “Talk to Young Wives” no
woman need hope for a waneless honeymoon.
So chaotic and erratic had been the
household service, and so quietly did Billy slip into
her new rôle, that it was not until the second meal
after the maid’s departure that the master of
the house discovered what had happened. Then,
as his wife rose to get some forgotten article, he
questioned, with uplifted eyebrows:
“Too good to wait upon us, is my lady now, eh?”
“My lady is waiting on you,” smiled Billy.
“Yes, I see this lady
is,” retorted Bertram, grimly; “but I mean
our real lady in the kitchen. Great Scott, Billy,
how long are you going to stand this?”
Billy tossed her head airily, though
she shook in her shoes. Billy had been dreading
this moment.
“I’m not standing it.
She’s gone,” responded Billy, cheerfully,
resuming her seat. “Uncle William, sha’n’t
I give you some more pudding?”
“Gone, so soon?” groaned
Bertram, as William passed his plate, with a smiling
nod. “Oh, well,” went on Bertram,
resignedly, “she stayed longer than the last
one. When is the next one coming?”
“She’s already here.”
Bertram frowned.
“Here? But you
served the dessert, and ” At something
in Billy’s face, a quick suspicion came into
his own. “Billy, you don’t mean that
you you ”
“Yes,” she nodded brightly, “that’s
just what I mean. I’m the next one.”
“Nonsense!” exploded Bertram,
wrathfully. “Oh, come, Billy, we’ve
been all over this before. You know I can’t
have it.”
“Yes, you can. You’ve
got to have it,” retorted Billy, still with that
disarming, airy cheerfulness. “Besides,
’twon’t be half so bad as you think.
Wasn’t that a good pudding to-night? Didn’t
you both come back for more? Well, I made it.”
“Puddings!” ejaculated
Bertram, with an impatient gesture. “Billy,
as I’ve said before, it takes something besides
puddings to run this house.”
“Yes, I know it does,”
dimpled Billy, “and I’ve got Mrs. Durgin
for that part. She’s coming twice a week,
and more, if I need her. Why, dearie, you don’t
know anything about how comfortable you’re going
to be! I’ll leave it to Uncle William if ”
But Uncle William had gone. Silently
he had slipped from his chair and disappeared.
Uncle William, it might be mentioned in passing, had
never quite forgotten Aunt Hannah’s fateful
call with its dire revelations concerning a certain
unwanted, superfluous, third-party husband’s
brother. Remembering this, there were times when
he thought absence was both safest and best.
This was one of the times.
“But, Billy, dear,” still
argued Bertram, irritably, “how can you?
You don’t know how. You’ve had no
experience.”
Billy threw back her shoulders.
An ominous light came to her eyes. She was no
longer airily playful.
“That’s exactly it, Bertram.
I don’t know how but I’m going
to learn. I haven’t had experience but
I’m going to get it. I can’t
make a worse mess of it than we’ve had ever
since Eliza went, anyway!”
“But if you’d get a maid a
good maid,” persisted Bertram, feebly.
“I had one Mary
Ellen. She was a good maid until she
found out how little her mistress knew; then well,
you know what it was then. Do you think I’d
let that thing happen to me again? No, sir!
I’m going into training for my next
Mary Ellen!” And with a very majestic air Billy
rose from the table and began to clear away the dishes.