The first of April in the Mount Mark
parsonage was a time of trial and tribulation, frequently
to the extent of weeping and gnashing of teeth.
The twins were no respecters of persons, and feeling
that the first of April rendered all things justifiable
to all men, they made life as burdensome to their
father as to Connie, and Fairy and Prudence lived in
a state of perpetual anguish until the twins fell asleep
at night well satisfied but worn out with the day’s
activities. The twins were bordering closely
to the first stage of grown-up womanhood, but on the
first of April they swore they would always be young!
The tricks were more dignified, more carefully planned
and scientifically executed than in the days of their
rollicking girlhood, but they were all the
more heart-breaking on that account.
The week before the first was spent
by Connie in a vain effort to ferret out their plans
in order that fore-knowledge might suggest a sufficient
safe-guard. The twins, however, were too clever
to permit this, and their bloody schemes were wrapped
in mystery and buried in secrecy. On the thirty-first
of March, Connie labored like a plumber would if working
by the job. She painstakingly hid from sight all
her cherished possessions. The twins were in
the barn, presumably deep in plots. Aunt Grace
was at the Ladies’ Aid. So when Fairy came
in, about four in the afternoon, there was only Prudence
to note the vengeful glitter in her fine clear eyes.
And Prudence was so intent upon feather-stitching the
hems of pink-checked dish towels, that she did not
observe it.
“Where’s papa?” Fairy asked.
“Up-stairs.”
“Where are the twins?”
“In the barn, getting ready for the day.”
Fairy smiled delightfully and skipped
eagerly up the stairs. She was closeted with
her father for some time, and came out of his room
at last with a small coin carefully concealed in the
corner of her handkerchief. She did not remove
her hat, but set briskly out toward town again.
Prudence, startled out of her feather-stitching,
followed her to the door. “Why, Fairy,”
she called. “Are you going out again?”
Fairy threw out her hands. “So
it seems. An errand for papa.” She
lifted her brows and pursed up her lips, and the wicked
joy in her face pierced the mantle of Prudence’s
absorption again.
“What’s up?” she
questioned curiously, following her sister down the
steps.
Fairy looked about hurriedly, and
then whispered a few words of explanation. Prudence’s
look changed to one of unnaturally spiteful glee.
“Good! Fine! Serves ’em right!
You’d better hurry.”
“Tell Aunt Grace, will you?
But don’t let Connie in until morning. She’d
give it away.”
At supper-time Fairy returned, and
the twins, their eyes bright with the unholy light
of mischief, never looked at her. They sometimes
looked heavenward with a sublime contentment that
drove Connie nearly frantic. Occasionally they
uttered cryptic words about the morrow, and
the older members of the family smiled pleasantly,
but Connie shuddered. She remembered so many
April Fool’s Days.
The family usually clung together
on occasions of this kind, feeling there was safety
and sympathy in numbers as so many cowards
have felt for lo, these many years. And thus
it happened that they were all in the dining-room
when their father appeared at the door. He had
his hands behind him suggestively.
“Twins,” he said, without
preamble, “what do you want more than anything
else?”
“Silk stockings,” was the prompt and unanimous
answer.
He laughed. “Good guess,
wasn’t it?” And tossed into their eager
hands two slender boxes, nicely wrapped. The
others gathered about them with smiling eyes as the
twins tremulously tore off the wrappings.
“A. Phoole’s Pure
Silk Thread Hose, Guaranteed!” This
they read from the box neat golden lettering.
It was enough for the twins. With cries of perfect
bliss they flung themselves upon their father, kissing
him rapturously wherever their lips might touch.
“Oh, papa!” “Oh,
you darling!” And then, when they had some sort
of control of their joy, Lark said solemnly, “Papa,
it is a gift from Heaven!”
“Of course, we give you the
credit, papa,” Carol amended quickly, “but
the thought was Heaven-prompted.”
Fairy choked suddenly, and her fit
of coughing interfered with the twins’ gratitude
to an all-suggesting Providence!
Carol twisted her box nervously.
“You know, papa, it may seem very childish,
and silly to you, but actually we
have well, prayed for silk stockings.
We didn’t honestly expect to get them, though not
until we saved up money enough to get them ourselves.
Heaven is kinder to us than we
“You can’t understand
such things, papa,” said Lark. “Maybe
you don’t know exactly how how they
feel. When we go to Betty Hill’s we wear
her silk stockings and lie on the bed and she
won’t let us walk in them, for fear we may wear
holes. Every girl in our class has at least one
pair, Betty has three, but one pair’s
holey, and we felt so awfully poor!”
The smiles on the family faces were
rather stereotyped by this time, but the exulting
twins did not notice. Lark looked at Carol fondly.
Carol sighed at Lark blissfully. Then, with one
accord, they lifted the covers from the boxes and
drew out the shimmering hose. Yes, shimmering but they
shook them out for inspection! Their faces paled
a little.
“They they are very ”
began Carol courageously. Then she stopped.
The hose were a fine tissue-paper
imitation of silk stockings! The “April
Fool, little twins,” on the toes was not necessary
for their enlightenment. They looked at their
father with sad but unresentful reproach in their
swiftly shadowed eyes.
“It it’s a
good joke,” stammered Carol, moistening her dry
lips with her tongue.
“It’s one on us,” blurted
Lark promptly.
“Ha, ha, ha,” laughed Carol, slowly, dryly,
very dully.
“Yes ha, ha, ha,”
echoed Lark, placing the bitter fruit carefully back
in its box. Her fingers actually trembled.
“It’s a swell
joke, all right,” Carol said, “we see that
well enough, we’re not stupid, you
know. But we did want some silk stockings so awfully
bad. But it’s funny, ha, ha, ha!”
“A gift from Heaven!”
muttered Lark, with clenched teeth. “Well,
you got us that time.”
“Come on, Lark, we must put
them sacredly away Silk stockings, you
know, are mighty scarce in a parsonage,
“Yes, ha, ha, ha,” and
the crushed and broken twins left the room, with dignity
in spite of the blow.
The family did not enjoy the joke on the twins.
Mr. Starr looked at the others with
all a man’s confused incomprehension of a woman’s
notions! He spread out his hands an
orthodox, ministerial gesture!
“Now, will some one kindly tell
me what there is in silk stockings, to ”
He shook his head helplessly. “Silk stockings!
A gift from Heaven!” He smiled, unmerrily.
“The poor little kids!” Then he left the
room.
Aunt Grace openly wiped her eyes,
smiling at herself as she did so.
Fairy opened and closed her lips several
times. Then she spoke. “Say, Prue,
knock me down and sit on me, will you? Whatever
made me think of such a stupid trick as that?”
“Why, bless their little hearts,”
whispered Prudence, sniffing. “Didn’t
they look sorry? But they were so determined to
be game.”
“Prudence, give me my eight
cents,” demanded Connie. “I want it
right away.”
“What do you want it for?”
“I’m going down to Morrow’s
and get some candy. I never saw a meaner trick
in my life! I’m surprised at papa.
The twins only play jokes for fun.” And
Connie stalked grimly out of the parsonage and off
toward town.
A more abashed and downcast pair of
twins probably never lived. They sat thoughtfully
in their room, “A. Phoole’s Silk Thread
Hose” carefully hidden from their hurt eyes.
“It was a good joke,” Lark said, now and
then.
“Yes, very,” assented Carol. “But
silk stockings, Larkie!”
And Lark squirmed wretchedly.
“A gift from Heaven,” she mourned.
“How they must be laughing!”
But they did not laugh.
Connie came back and shared her candy.
They thanked her courteously and invited her to sit
down. Then they all ate candy and grieved together
silently. They did not speak of the morning’s
disaster, but the twins understood and appreciated
the tender sympathy of her attitude, and although
they said nothing, they looked at her very kindly and
Connie was well content.
The morning passed drearily.
The twins had lost all relish for their well-planned
tricks, and the others, down-stairs, found the usually
wild and hilarious day almost unbearably poky.
Prudence’s voice was gentle as she called them
down to dinner, and the twins, determined not to show
the white feather, went down at once and took their
places. They bore their trouble bravely, but
their eyes had the surprised and stricken look, and
their faces were nearly old. Mr. Starr cut the
blessing short, and the dinner was eaten in silence.
The twins tried to start the conversation. They
talked of the weather with passionate devotion.
They discussed their studies with an almost unbelievable
enthusiasm. They even referred, with stiff smiles,
to “papa’s good joke,” and then
laughed their dreary “ha, ha, ha,” until
their father wanted to fall upon his knees and beg
forgiveness.
Connie, still solicitous, helped them
wash the dishes. The others disappeared.
Fairy got her hat and went out without a word.
Their father followed scarcely a block behind her.
Aunt Grace sought all over the house for Prudence,
and finally found her in the attic, comforting herself
with a view of the lovely linens which filled her Hope
Box.
“I’m going for a walk,” announced
Aunt Grace briefly.
“All right,” assented
Prudence. “If I’m not here when you
get back, don’t worry. I’m going
for a walk myself.”
Their work done irreproachably, the
twins and Connie went to the haymow and lay on the
hay, still silent. The twins, buoyant though they
were, could not so quickly recover from a shock like
this. So intent were they upon the shadows among
the cobwebs that they heard no sound from below until
their father’s head appeared at the top of the
ladder.
“Come up,” they invited hospitably but
seriously.
He did so at once, and stood before
them, his face rather flushed, his manner a little
constrained, but looking rather satisfied with himself
on the whole.
“Twins,” he said, “I
didn’t know you were so crazy about silk stockings.
We just thought it would be a good joke but
it was a little too good. It was a boomerang.
I don’t know when I’ve felt so contemptible.
So I went down and got you some real silk stockings a
dollar and a half a pair, and I’m
glad to clear my conscience so easily.”
The twins blushed. “It it
was a good joke, papa,” Carol assured him shyly.
“It was a dandy. But all the
girls at school have silk stockings for best, and we’ve
been wanting them forever. And honestly,
father, I don’t know when I’ve had such
a such a spell of indigestion as when I
saw those stockings were April Fool.”
“Indigestion,” scoffed
Connie, restored to normal by her father’s handsome
amends.
“Yes, indigestion,” declared
Lark. “You know, papa, that funny, hollow,
hungry feeling when you get a shock.
That’s nervous indigestion, we read
it in a medicine ad. They’ve got pills for
it. But it was a good joke. We saw that
right at the start.”
“And we didn’t expect
anything like this. It is very generous
of you, papa. Very!”
But he noticed that they made no move
to unwrap the box. It still lay between them
on the hay, where he had tossed it. Evidently
their confidence in him had been severely shattered.
He sat down and unwrapped it himself.
“They are guaranteed,” he explained, passing
out the little pink slips gravely, “so when they
wear holes you get another pair for nothing.”
The twins’ faces had brightened wonderfully.
“I will never play that kind of a trick again,
twins, so you needn’t be suspicious of me.
And say! Whenever you want anything so badly
it makes you feel like that, come and talk it over.
We’ll manage some way. Of course, we’re
always a little hard up, but we can generally scrape
up something extra from somewhere. And we will.
You mustn’t feel like that about
things. Just tell me about it. Girls are
so kind of funny, you know.”
The twins and Connie rushed to the
house to try the “feel” of the first,
adored silk stockings. They donned them, admired
them, petted Connie, idolized their father, and then
removing them, tied them carefully in clean white
tissue-paper and deposited them in the safest corner
of the bottom drawer of their dresser. Then they
lay back on the bed, thinking happily of the next
class party! Silk stockings! Ah!
“Can’t you just imagine
how we’ll look in our new white dresses, Lark,
and our patent leather pumps, with silk
stockings! I really feel there is nothing sets
off a good complexion as well as real silk stockings!”
They were interrupted in this delightful
occupation by the entrance of Fairy. The twins
had quickly realized that the suggestion for their
humiliating had come from her, and their hearts were
sore, but being good losers at least, as
good losers as real live folks can be they
wouldn’t have admitted it for the world.
“Come on in, Fairy,” said
Lark cordially. “Aren’t we lazy to-day?”
“Twins,” said Fairy, self-conscious
for the first time in the twins’ knowledge of
her, “I suppose you know it was I who suggested
that idiotic little stocking stunt. It was awfully
hateful of me, and so I bought you some real silk
stockings with my own spending money, and here they
are, and you needn’t thank me for I never could
be fond of myself again until I squared things with
you.”
The twins had to admit that it was
really splendid of Fairy, and they thanked her with
unfeigned zeal.
“But papa already got us a pair,
and so you can take these back and get your money
again. It was just as sweet of you, Fairy, and
we thank you, and it was perfectly dear and darling,
but we have papa’s now, and
“Good for papa!” Fairy
cried, and burst out laughing at the joke that proved
so expensive for the perpetrators. “But
you shall have my burnt offering, too. It serves
us both right, but especially me, for it was my idea.”
And Fairy walked away feeling very
gratified and generous.
Only girls who have wanted silk stockings
for a “whole lifetime” can realize the
blissful state of the parsonage twins. They lay
on the bed planning the most impossible but magnificent
things they would do to show their gratitude, and
when Aunt Grace stopped at their door they leaped
up to overwhelm her with caresses just because of their
gladness.
She waved them away with a laugh.
“April Fool, twins,” she said, with a
voice so soft that it took all the sting from the words.
“I brought you some real silk stockings for
a change.” And she tossed them a package
and started out of the room to escape their thanks.
But she stopped in surprise when the girls burst into
merry laughter.
“Oh, you silk stockings!”
Carol cried. “Three pairs! You darling
sweet old auntie! You would come up here to tease
us, would you? But papa gave us a pair, and Fairy
gave us a pair, and
“They did! Why, the silly
things!” And the gentle woman looked as seriously
vexed as she ever did look she had so wanted
to give them the first silk-stocking experience herself.
“Oh, here you are,” cried
Prudence, stepping quickly in, and speaking very brightly
to counterbalance the gloom she had expected to encounter.
She started back in some dismay when she saw the twins
rolling and rocking with laughter, and Aunt Grace
leaning against the dresser for support, with Connie
on the floor, quite speechless.
“Good for you, twins, that’s
the way to take hard knocks,” she said.
“It wasn’t a very nice trick, though of
course papa didn’t understand how you felt about
silk stockings. It wasn’t his fault.
But Fairy and I ought to be ashamed, and we are.
I went out and got you some real genuine silk ones
myself, so you needn’t pray for them any more.”
Prudence was shocked, a little hurt,
at the outburst that followed her words.
“Well, such a family!”
Aunt Grace exclaimed. And then Carol pulled her
bodily down beside her on the bed and for a time they
were all incapable of explanations.
“What is the joke?” Prudence
asked, again and again, smiling, but still
feeling a little pique. She had counted on gladdening
their sorry little hearts!
“Stockings, stockings Oh,
such a family!” shrieked Carol.
“There’s no playing jokes
on the twins,” said Aunt Grace weakly. “It
takes the whole family to square up. It’s
too expensive.”
Then Lark explained, and Prudence
sat down and joined the merriment, which waxed so
noisy that Mr. Starr from the library and Fairy from
the kitchen, ran in to investigate.
“April Fool, April Fool,”
cried Carol, “We never played a trick like this,
Larkie this is our masterpiece.”
“You’re the nicest old
things that ever lived,” said Lark, still laughing,
but with great warmth and tenderness in her eyes and
her voice. “But you can take the stockings
back and save your money if you like we
love you just as much.”
But this the happy donors stoutly
refused to do. The twins had earned this wealth
of hose, and finally, wiping their eyes, the twins
began to smooth their hair and adjust their ribbons
and belts.
“What’s the matter?”
“Where are you going?” “Will you
buy the rest of us some silk stockings?” queried
the family, comic-opera effect.
“Where are we going?”
Carol repeated, surprised, seeming to feel that any
one should know where they were going, though they
had not spoken.
“We’re going to call on
our friends, of course,” explained Lark.
“Of course,” said Carol,
jabbing her hair pins in with startling energy.
“And we’ve got to hurry. We must go
to Mattie’s, and Jean’s, and Betty’s,
and Fan’s, and Birdie’s, and Alice’s,
and say, Lark, maybe we’d better
divide up and each take half. It’s kind
of late, and we mustn’t miss any.”
“Well, what on earth!”
gasped Prudence, while the others stared in speechless
amazement.
“For goodness’ sake, Carol,
hurry. We have to get clear out to Minnie’s
to-night, if we miss our supper.”
“But what’s the idea?
What for? What are you talking about?”
“Why, you silly thing,”
said Carol patiently, “we have to go and tell
our friends that we’ve got four pairs of silk
stockings, of course. I wouldn’t miss this
afternoon for the world. And we’ll go the
rounds together, Lark. I want to see how they
take it,” she smiled at them benignly.
“I can imagine their excitement. And we
owe it to the world to give it all the excitement
we can. Prudence says so.”
Prudence looked startled. “Did I say that?”
“Certainly. You said pleasure but
excitement’s very pleasing, most of the time.
Come on, Larkie, we’ll have to walk fast.”
And with a fond good-by to the generous
family, the twins set out to spread the joyful tidings,
Lark pausing at the door just long enough to explain
gravely, “Of course, we won’t tell them er just
how it happened, you know. Lots of things in
a parsonage need to be kept dark. Prudence says
so herself.”