A subject that never failed to arouse
the sarcasm and the ire of Fairy was that of the Slaughter-house
Quartette. This was composed of four young men men
quite outside the pale as far as the parsonage was
concerned the disreputable characters of
the community, familiar in the local jail for frequent
bursts of intoxication. They slouched, they smoked,
they lounged, they leered. The churches knew them
not. They were the slum element, the Bowery of
Mount Mark, Iowa.
Prudence, in her day, had passed them
by with a shy slight nod and a glance of tender pity.
Fairy and Lark, and even Connie, sailed by with high
heads and scornful eyes, haughty, proud,
icily removed. But Carol, by some weird and inexplicable
fancy, treated them with sweet and gracious solicitude,
quite friendly. Her smile as she passed was as
sweet as for her dearest friend. Her “Good
morning, isn’t this glorious weather?”
was as affably cordial as her, “Breakfast is
ready, papa!”
This was the one subject of dispute between the twins.
“Oh, please don’t, Carol, it does make
me so ashamed,” Lark entreated.
“You mustn’t be narrow-minded,
Larkie,” Carol argued. “We’re
minister’s girls, and we’ve got to be
a good influence, an encouragement to the er,
weak and erring, you know. Maybe my smiles will
be an inspiration to them.”
And on this point Carol stood firm
even against the tears of her precious twin.
One evening at the dinner table Fairy
said, with a mocking smile, “How are your Slaughter-house
friends to-day, Carol? When I was at the dentist’s
I saw you coming along, beaming at them in your own
inimitable way.”
“Oh, they seemed all right,”
Carol answered, with a deprecating glance toward her
father and her aunt.
“I see by last night’s
paper that Guy Fleisher is just out after his last
thirty days up,” Fairy continued solicitously.
“Did he find his incarceration trying?”
“I didn’t discuss it with
him,” Carol said indignantly. “I never
talk to them. I just say ‘Good morning’
in Christian charity.”
Aunt Grace’s eyes were smiling
as always, but for the first time Carol felt that
the smiles were at, instead of with, her.
“You would laugh to see her,
Aunt Grace,” Fairy explained. “They
are generally half intoxicated, sometimes wholly.
And Carol trips by, clean, white and shining.
They are always lounging against the store windows
or posts for support, bleary-eyed, dissipated, swaggery,
staggery. Carol nods and smiles as only Carol
can, ’Good morning, boys! Isn’t it
a lovely day? Are you feeling well?’ And
they grin at her and sway ingratiatingly against one
another, and say, ‘Mornin’, Carol.’
Carol is the only really decent person in town that
has anything to do with them.”
“Carol means all right,” declared Lark
angrily.
“Yes, indeed,” assented
Fairy, “They call them the Slaughter-house Quartette,
auntie, because whenever they are sober enough to walk
without police assistance, they wander through the
streets slaughtering the peace and serenity of the
quiet town with their rendition of all the late, disgraceful
sentimental ditties. They are in many ways striking
characters. I do not wholly misunderstand their
attraction for romantic Carol. They are something
like the troubadours of old only more so.”
Carol’s face was crimson.
“I don’t like them,” she cried, “but
I’m sorry for them. I think maybe I can
make them see the difference between us, me so nice
and respectable you know, and them so animalish!
It may arouse their better natures I suppose
they have better natures. I want to show them
that the decent element, we Christians, are sorry for
them and want to make them better.”
“Carol wants to be an influence,”
Fairy continued. “Of course, it is a little
embarrassing for the rest of us to have her on such
friendly terms with the most unmentionable characters
in all Mount Mark. But Carol is like so many
reformers, in the presence of one great
truth she has eyes for it only, ignoring a thousand
other, greater truths.”
“I am sorry for them,”
Carol repeated, more weakly, abashed by the presence
of the united family. Fairy’s dissertations
on this subject had usually occurred in private.
Mr. Starr mentally resolved that he
would talk this over with Carol when the others were
not present, for he knew from her face and her voice
that she was really sensitive on the subject.
And he knew, too, that it is difficult to explain
to the very young that the finest of ideas are not
applicable to all cases by all people. But it
happened that he was spared the necessity of dealing
with Carol privately, for matters adjusted themselves
without his assistance.
The second night following was an
eventful one in the parsonage. One of the bishops
of the church was in Mount Mark for a business conference
with the religious leaders, and was to spend the night
at the parsonage. The meeting was called for
eight-thirty for the convenience of the business men
concerned, and was to be held in the church offices.
The men left early, followed shortly by Fairy who
designed to spend the evening at the Averys’
home, testing their supply of winter apples. The
twins and Connie, with the newest and most thrilling
book Mr. Carnegie afforded the town, went up-stairs
to lie on the bed and take turns reading aloud.
And for a few hours the parsonage was as calm and
peaceful as though it were not designed for the housing
of merry minister’s daughters.
Aunt Grace sat down-stairs darning
stockings. The girls’ intentions had been
the best in the world, but in less than a year the
family darning had fallen entirely into the capable
and willing hands of the gentle chaperon.
It was half past ten. The girls
had just seen their heroine rescued from a watery
grave and married to her bold preserver by a minister
who happened to be writing a sermon on the beach no
mention of how the license was secured extemporaneously and
with sighs of gratified sentiment they lay happily
on the bed thinking it all over. And then, from
beneath the peach trees clustered on the south side
of the parsonage, a burst of melody arose.
“Good morning, Carrie, how are you this morning?”
The girls sat up abruptly, staring
at one another, as the curious ugly song wafted in
upon them. Conviction dawned slowly, sadly, but
unquestionably.
The Slaughter-house Quartette was
serenading Carol in return for her winsome smiles!
Carol herself was literally struck
dumb. Her face grew crimson, then white.
In her heart, she repeated psalms of thanksgiving that
Fairy was away, and that her father and the bishop
would not be in until this colossal disaster was over.
Connie was mortified. It seemed
like a wholesale parsonage insult. Lark, after
the first awful realization, lay back on the bed and
rolled convulsively.
“You’re an influence all
right, Carol,” she gurgled. “Will
you listen to that?”
For Rufus Rastus Johnson Brown
was the second choice of her cavaliers below in the
darkness.
“Rufus Rastus,” Lark cried,
and then was choked with laughter. “Of
course, it would be proper if they sang
hymns but oh, listen!”
The rollicking strains of Budweiser
were swung gaily out upon the night.
Carol writhed in anguish. The
serenade was bad enough, but this unmerciful mocking
derision of her adored twin was unendurable.
Then the quartette waxed sentimental.
They sang, and not badly, a few old southern melodies,
and started slowly around the corner of the house,
still singing.
It has been said that Aunt Grace was always kind, always
gentle, unsuspicious and without guile. She had heard the serenade, and
promptly concluded that it was the work of some of the high-school boys who were
unanimously devoted to Carol. She had a big box of chocolates up-stairs,
for Connies birthday celebration. She could get them, and make lemonade,
and
She opened the door softly and stepped
out, directly in the path of the startled youths.
Full of her hospitable intent, she was not discerning
as parsonage people need to be.
“Come in, boys,” she said
cordially, “the girls will be down in a minute.”
The appearance of a guardian angel
summoning them to Paradise could not have confounded
them more utterly. They stumbled all over one
another in trying to back away from her. She
laughed softly.
“Don’t be bashful.
We enjoyed it very much. Yes, come right in.”
Undoubtedly they would have declined
if only they could have thought of the proper method
of doing so. As it was, they only succeeded in
shambling through the parsonage door, instinctively
concealing their half-smoked cigarettes beneath their
fingers.
Aunt Grace ushered them into the pleasant
living-room, and ran up to summon her nieces.
Left alone, the boys looked at one
another with amazement and with grief, and the leader,
the touching tenor, said with true musical fervor,
“Well, this is a go!”
In the meantime, the girls, with horror,
had heard their aunt’s invitation. What
in the world did she mean? Was it a trick between
her and Fairy? Had they hired the awful Slaughterers
to bring this disgrace upon the parsonage? Sternly
they faced her when she opened their door.
“Come down, girls I
invited them in. I’m going to make lemonade
and serve my nice chocolates. Hurry down.”
“You invited them in!” echoed Connie.
“The Slaughter-house Quartette,” hissed
Lark.
Then Aunt Grace whirled about and
stared at them. “Mercy!” she whispered,
remembering for the first time Fairy’s words.
“Mercy! Is it that? I thought
it was high-school boys and mercy!”
“Mercy is good,” said Carol grimly.
“You’ll have to put them out,” suggested
Connie.
“I can’t! How can
I? How did I know? What on earth, Oh,
Carol whatever made you smile at them?” she
wailed helplessly. “You know how men are
when they are smiled at! The bishop
“You’ll have to get them
out before the bishop comes back,” said Carol.
“You must. And if any of you ever give this
away to father or Fairy I’ll
“You’d better go down
a minute, girls,” urged their aunt. “That
will be the easiest way. I’ll just pass
the candy and invite them to come again and then they’ll
go. Hurry now, and we’ll get rid of them
before the others come. Be as decent as you can,
and it’ll soon be over.”
Thus adjured, with the dignity of
the bishop and the laughter of Fairy ever in their
thoughts, the girls arose and went down, proudly, calmly,
loftily. Their inborn senses of humor came to
their assistance when they entered the living-room.
The Slaughter boys looked far more slaughtered than
slaughtering. They sat limply in their chairs,
nervously twitching their yellowed slimy fingers,
their dull eyes intent upon the worn spots in the
carpet. It was funny! Even Carol smiled,
not the serene sweet smile that melted hearts, but
the grim hard smile of the joker when the tables are
turned! She flattered herself that this wretched
travesty on parsonage courtesy would be ended before
there were any further witnesses to her downfall from
her proud fine heights, but she was doomed to disappointment.
Fairy, on the Averys’ porch, had heard the serenade.
After the first shock, and after the helpless laughter
that followed, she bade her friends good night.
“Oh, I’ve just got to
go,” she said. “It’s a joke
on Carol. I wouldn’t miss it for twenty-five
bushels of apples, even as good as these
are.”
Her eyes twinkling with delight, she
ran home and waited behind the rose bushes until the
moment for her appearance seemed at hand. Then
she stepped into the room where her outraged sisters
were stoically passing precious and luscious chocolates
to tobacco-saturated youths.
“Good evening,” she said.
“The Averys and I enjoyed the concert, too.
I do love to hear music outdoors on still nights like
these. Carol, maybe your friends would like a
drink. Are there any lemons, auntie? We might
have a little lemonade.”
Carol writhed helplessly. “I’ll
make it,” she said, and rushed to the kitchen
to vent her fury by shaking the very life out of the
lemons. But she did not waste time. Her
father’s twinkles were nearly as bad as Fairy’s
own and the bishop!
“I’d wish it would choke
’em if it wouldn’t take so long,”
she muttered passionately, as she hurried in with
the pitcher and glasses, ready to serve the “slums”
with her own chaste hands.
She was just serving the melting tenor
when she heard her father’s voice in the hall.
“Too late,” she said aloud,
and with such despair in her voice that Fairy relented
and mentally promised to “see her through.”
Mr. Starr’s eyes twinkled freely
when he saw the guests in his home, and the gentle
bishop’s puzzled interest nearly sent them all
off into laughter. Fairy had no idea of the young
men’s names, but she said, quickly, to spare
Carol:
“We have been serenaded to-night,
Doctor you just missed it. These are
the Mount Mark troubadours. You are lucky to get
here in time for the lemonade.”
But when she saw the bishop glance
concernedly from the yellow fingers to the dull eyes
and the brown-streaked mouth, her gravity nearly forsook
her. The Slaughterers, already dashed to the ground
by embarrassment, were entirely routed by the presence
of the bishop. With incoherent apologies, they
rose to their unsteady feet and in a cloud of breezy
odors, made their escape.
Mr. Starr laughed a little, Aunt Grace
put her arm protectingly about Carol’s rigid
shoulders, and the bishop said, “Well, well,
well,” with gentle inquiry.
“We call them the Slaughter-house
Quartette,” Fairy began cheerfully. “They
are the lower strata of Mount Mark, and they make the
nights hideous with their choice selection of popular
airs. The parsonage is divided about them.
Some of us think we should treat them with proud and
cold disdain. Some think we should regard them
with a tender, gentle, er smiling pity.
And evidently they appreciated the smiles for they
gave us a serenade in return for them. Aunt Grace
did not know their history, so she invited them in,
thinking they were just ordinary schoolboys.
It is home mission work run aground.”
The bishop nodded sympathetically.
“One has to be so careful,” he said.
“So extremely careful with characters like those.
No doubt they meant well by their serenade, but girls
especially have to be very careful. I think as
a rule it is safer to let men show the tender pity
and women the fine disdain. I don’t imagine
they would come serenading your father and me!
You carried it off beautifully, girls. I am sure
your father was proud of you. I was myself.
I’m glad you are Methodists. Not many girls
so young could handle a difficult matter as neatly
as you did.”
“Yes,” said Mr. Starr,
but his eyes twinkled toward Carol once more; “yes,
indeed, I think we are well cleared of a disagreeable
business.”
But Carol looked at Fairy with such
humble, passionate gratitude that tears came to Fairy’s
eyes and she turned quickly away.
“Carol is a sweet girl,”
she thought. “I wonder if things will work
out for her just right to make her as happy
as she ought to be. She’s so lovely.”