The people from the yacht belonged
to that class of men and women whose uncertainty,
or indifference, about the future leads them to take
possession of all they can lay hands on in the present,
with a view to squeezing the world like a lemon for
such enjoyment as it may yield. So long as they
tarried at the old hotel, it was their private property.
The Bowrings were forgotten; the two English old maids
had no existence; the Russian invalid got no more
hot water for his tea; the plain but obstinately inquiring
German family could get no more information; even
the quiet young French couple a honeymoon
couple sank into insignificance. The
only protest came from an American, whose wife was
ill and never appeared, and who staggered the landlord
by asking what he would sell the whole place for on
condition of vacating the premises before dinner.
“They will be gone before dinner,”
the proprietor answered.
But they did not go. When it
was already late somebody saw the moon rise, almost
full, and suggested that the moonlight would be very
fine, and that it would be amusing to dine at the
hotel table and spend the evening on the terrace and
go on board late.
“I shall,” said the little
lady in white serge, “whatever the rest of you
do. Brook! Send somebody on board to get
a lot of cloaks and shawls and things. I am sure
it is going to be cold. Don’t go away!
I want you to take me for a walk before dinner, so
as to be nice and hungry, you know.”
For some reason or other, several
of the party laughed, and from their tone one might
have guessed that they were in the habit of laughing,
or were expected to laugh, at the lady’s speeches.
And every one agreed that it would be much nicer to
spend the evening on the terrace, and that it was
a pity that they could not dine out of doors because
it would be far too cool. Then the lady in white
and the man called Brook began to walk furiously up
and down in the fading light, while the lady talked
very fast in a low voice, except when she was passing
within earshot of some of the others, and the man
looked straight before him, answering occasionally
in monosyllables.
Then there was more confusion in the
hotel, and the Russian invalid expressed his opinion
to the two English old maids, with whom he fraternised,
that dinner would be an hour late, thanks to their
compatriots. But they assumed an expression appropriate
when speaking of the peerage, and whispered that the
yacht must belong to the Duke of Orkney, who, they
had read, was cruising in the Mediterranean, and that
the Duke was probably the big man in grey clothes who
had a gold cigarette case. But in all this they
were quite mistaken. And their repeated examinations
of the hotel register were altogether fruitless, because
none of the party had written their names in it.
The old maids, however, were quite happy and resigned
to waiting for their dinner. They presently retired
to attempt for themselves what stingy nature had refused
to do for them in the way of adornment, for the dinner
was undoubtedly to be an occasion of state, and their
eyes were to see the glory of a lord.
The party sat together at one end
of the table, which extended the whole length of the
high and narrow vaulted hall, while the guests staying
in the hotel filled the opposite half. Most of
the guests were more subdued than usual, and the party
from the yacht seemed noisy by contrast. The
old maids strained their ears to catch a name here
and there. Clare and her mother talked little.
The Russian invalid put up a single eyeglass, looked
long and curiously at each of the new comers in turn,
and then did not vouchsafe them another glance.
The German family criticised the food severely, and
then got into a fierce discussion about Bismarck and
the Pope, in the course of which they forgot the existence
of their fellow-diners, but not of their dinner.
Clare could not help glancing once
or twice at the couple that had attracted her attention,
and she found herself wondering what their relation
to each other could be, and whether they were engaged
to be married. Somebody called the lady in white
“Mrs. Crosby.” Then somebody else
called her “Lady Fan” which
was very confusing. “Brook” never
called her anything. Clare saw him fill his glass
and look at Lady Fan very hard before he drank, and
then Lady Fan did the same thing. Nevertheless
they seemed to be perpetually quarrelling over little
things. When Brook was tired of being bullied,
he calmly ignored his companion, turned from her,
and talked in a low tone to a dark woman who had been
a beauty and was the most thoroughly well-dressed of
the extremely well-dressed party. Lady Fan bit
her lip for a moment, and then said something at which
all the others laughed except Brook and
the advanced beauty, who continued to talk in undertones.
To Clare’s mind there was about
them all, except Brook, a little dash of something
which was not “quite, quite,” as the world
would have expressed it. In her opinion Lady
Fan was distinctly disagreeable, whoever she might
be as distinctly so as Brook was the contrary.
And somehow the girl could not help resenting the
woman’s way of treating him. It offended
her oddly and jarred upon her good taste, as something
to which she was not at all accustomed in her surroundings.
Lady Fan was very exquisite in her outward ways, and
her speech was of the proper smartness. Yet everything
she did and said was intensely unpleasant to Clare.
The Bowrings and the regular guests
finished their dinner before the yachting party, and
rose almost in a body, with a clattering of their
light chairs on the tiled floor. Only the English
old maids kept their places a little longer than the
rest, and took some more filberts and half a glass
of white wine, each. They could not keep their
eyes from the party at the other end of the table,
and their faces grew a little redder as they sat there.
Clare and her mother had to go round the long table
to get out, being the last on their side, and they
were also the last to reach the door. Again the
young girl felt that strong desire to turn her head
and look back at Brook and Lady Fan. She noticed
it this time, as something she had never felt until
that afternoon, but she would not yield to it.
She walked on, looking straight at the back of her
mother’s head. Then she heard quick footsteps
on the tiles behind her, and Brook’s voice.
“I beg your pardon,” he
was saying, “you have dropped your shawl.”
She turned quickly, and met his eyes
as he stopped close to her, holding out the white
chudder which had slipped to the floor unnoticed when
she had risen from her seat. She took it mechanically
and thanked him. Instinctively looking past him
down the long hall, she saw that the little lady in
white had turned in her seat and was watching her.
Brook made a slight bow and was gone again in an instant.
Then Clare followed her mother and went out.
“Let us go out behind the house,”
she said when they were in the broad corridor.
“There will be moonlight there, and those people
will monopolise the terrace when they have finished
dinner.”
At the western end of the old monastery
there is a broad open space, between the buildings
and the overhanging rocks, at the base of which there
is a deep recess, almost amounting to a cave, in which
stands a great black cross planted in a pedestal of
whitewashed masonry. A few steps lead up to it.
As the moon rose higher the cross was in the shadow,
while the platform and the buildings were in the full
light.
The two women ascended the steps and
sat down upon a stone seat.
“What a night!” exclaimed the young girl
softly.
Her mother silently bent her head,
but neither spoke again for some time. The moonlight
before them was almost dazzling, and the air was warm.
Beyond the stone parapet, far below, the tideless sea
was silent and motionless under the moon. A crooked
fig-tree, still leafless, though the little figs were
already shaped on it, cast its intricate shadow upon
the platform. Very far away, a boy was singing
a slow minor chant in a high voice. The peace
was almost disquieting there was something
intensely expectant in it, as though the night were
in love, and its heart beating.
Clare sat still, her hand upon her
mother’s thin wrist, her lips just parted a
little, her eyes wide and filled with moon-dreams.
She had almost lost herself in unworded fancies when
her mother moved and spoke.
“I had quite forgotten a letter
I was writing,” she said. “I must
finish it. Stay here, and I will come back again
presently.”
She rose, and Clare watched her slim
dark figure and the long black shadow that moved with
it across the platform towards the open door of the
hotel. But when it had disappeared the white fancies
came flitting back through the silent light, and in
the shade the young eyes fixed themselves quietly
to meet the vision and see it all, and to keep it for
ever if she could.
She did not know what it was that
she saw, but it was beautiful, and what she felt was
on a sudden as the realisation of something she had
dimly desired in vain. Yet in itself it was nothing
realised; it was perhaps only the certainty of longing
for something all heart and no name, and it was happiness
to long for it. For the first intuition of love
is only an exquisite foretaste, a delight in itself,
as far from the bitter hunger of love starving as
a girl’s faintness is from a cruel death.
The light was dazzling, and yet it was full of gentle
things that smiled, somehow, without faces. She
was not very imaginative, perhaps, else the faces
might have come too, and voices, and all, save the
one reality which had as yet neither voice nor face,
nor any name. It was all the something that love
was to mean, somewhere, some day the airy
lace of a maiden life-dream, in which no figure was
yet wrought amongst the fancy-threads that the May
moon was weaving in the soft spring night. There
was no sadness in it, at all, for there was no memory,
and without memory there can be no sadness, any more
than there can be fear where there is no anticipation,
far or near. Most happiness is really of the
future, and most grief, if we would be honest, is of
the past.
The young girl sat still and dreamed
that the old world was as young as she, and that in
its soft bosom there were exquisite sweetnesses untried,
and soft yearnings for a beautiful unknown, and little
pulses that could quicken with foretasted joy which
only needed face and name to take angelic shape of
present love. The world could not be old while
she was young.
And she had her youth and knew it,
and it was almost all she had. It seemed much
to her, and she had no unsatisfiable craving for the
world’s stuff in which to attire it. In
that, at least, her mother had been wise, teaching
her to believe and to enjoy, rather than to doubt and
criticise, and if there had been anything to hide from
her it had been hidden, even beyond suspicion of its
presence. Perhaps the armour of knowledge is
of little worth until doubt has shaken the heart and
weakened the joints, and broken the terrible steadfastness
of perfect innocence in the eyes. Clare knew
that she was young, she felt that the white dream
was sweet, and she believed that the world’s
heart was clean and good. All good was natural
and eternal, lofty and splendid as an archangel in
the light. God had made evil as a background of
shadows to show how good the light was. Every
one could come and stand in the light if he chose,
for the mere trouble of moving. It seemed so simple.
She wondered why everybody could not see it as she
did.
A flash of white in the white moonlight
disturbed her meditations. Two people had come
out of the door and were walking slowly across the
platform side by side. They were not speaking,
and their footsteps crushed the light gravel sharply
as they came forward. Clare recognised Brook
and Lady Fan. Seated in the shadow on one side
of the great black cross and a little behind it, she
could see their faces distinctly, but she had no idea
that they were dazzled by the light and could not see
her at all in her dark dress. She fancied that
they were looking at her as they came on.
The shadow of the rock had crept forward
upon the open space, while she had been dreaming.
The two turned, just before they reached it, and then
stood still, instead of walking back.
“Brook ” began
Lady Fan, as though she were going to say something.
But she checked herself and looked
up at him quickly, chilled already by his humour.
Clare thought that the woman’s voice shook a
little, as she pronounced the name. Brook did
not turn his head nor look down.
“Yes?” he said, with a
sort of interrogation. “What were you going
to say?” he asked after a moment’s pause.
She seemed to hesitate, for she did
not answer at once. Then she glanced towards
the hotel and looked down.
“You won’t come back with
us?” she asked, at last, in a pleading voice.
“I can’t,” he answered.
“You know I can’t. I’ve got
to wait for them here.”
“Yes, I know. But they
are not here yet. I don’t believe they are
coming for two or three days. You could perfectly
well come on to Genoa with us, and get back by rail.”
“No,” said Brook quietly, “I can’t.”
“Would you, if you could?”
asked the lady in white, and her tone began to change
again.
“What a question!” he laughed drily.
“It is an odd question, isn’t
it, coming from me?” Her voice grew hard, and
she stopped. “Well you know what
it means,” she added abruptly. “You
may as well answer it and have it over. It is
very easy to say you would not, if you could.
I shall understand all the rest, and you will be saved
the trouble of saying things things which
I should think you would find it rather hard to say.”
“Couldn’t you say them,
instead?” he asked slowly, and looking at her
for the first time. He spoke gravely and coldly.
“I!” There was indignation,
real or well affected, in the tone.
“Yes, you,” answered the
man, with a shade less coldness, but as gravely as
before. “You never loved me.”
Lady Fan’s small white face
was turned to his instantly, and Clare could see the
fierce, hurt expression in the eyes and about the quivering
mouth. The young girl suddenly realised that she
was accidentally overhearing something which was very
serious to the two speakers. It flashed upon
her that they had not seen her where she sat in the
shadow, and she looked about her hastily in the hope
of escaping unobserved. But that was impossible.
There was no way of getting out of the recess of the
rock where the cross stood, except by coming out into
the light, and no way of reaching the hotel except
by crossing the open platform.
Then she thought of coughing, to call
attention to her presence. She would rise and
come forward, and hurry across to the door. She
felt that she ought to have come out of the shadows
as soon as the pair had appeared, and that she had
done wrong in sitting still. But then, she told
herself with perfect justice that they were strangers,
and that she could not possibly have foreseen that
they had come there to quarrel.
They were strangers, and she did not
even know their names. So far as they were concerned,
and their feelings, it would be much more pleasant
for them if they never suspected that any one had overheard
them than if she were to appear in the midst of their
conversation, having evidently been listening up to
that point. It will be admitted that, being a
woman, she had a choice; for she knew that if she had
been in Lady Fan’s place she should have preferred
never to know that any one had heard her. She
fancied what she should feel if any one should cough
unexpectedly behind her when she had just been accused
by the man she loved of not loving him at all.
And of course the little lady in white loved Brook she
had called him “dear” that very afternoon.
But that Brook did not love Lady Fan was as plain
as possible.
There was certainly no mean curiosity
in Clare to know the secrets of these strangers.
But all the same, she would not have been a human girl,
of any period in humanity’s history, if she had
not been profoundly interested in the fate of the
woman before her. That afternoon she would have
thought it far more probable that the woman should
break the man’s heart than that she should break
her own for him. But now it looked otherwise.
Clare thought there was no mistaking the first tremor
of the voice, the look of the white face, and the
indignation of the tone afterwards. With a man,
the question of revealing his presence as a third
person would have been a point of honour. In Clare’s
case it was a question of delicacy and kindness as
from one woman to another.
Nevertheless, she hesitated, and she
might have come forward after all. Ten slow seconds
had passed since Brook had spoken. Then Lady Fan’s
little figure shook, her face turned away, and she
tried to choke down one small bitter sob, pressing
her handkerchief desperately to her lips.
“Oh, Brook!” she cried,
a moment later, and her tiny teeth tore the edge of
the handkerchief audibly in the stillness.
“It’s not your fault,”
said the man, with an attempt at gentleness in his
voice. “I couldn’t blame you, if I
were brute enough to wish to.”
“Blame me! Oh, really I think
you’re mad, you know!”
“Besides,” continued the
young man, philosophically, “I think we ought
to be glad, don’t you?”
“Glad?”
“Yes that we are not going to break
our hearts now that it’s over.”
Clare thought his tone horribly business-like and
indifferent.
“Oh no! We sha’n’t
break our hearts any more! We are not children.”
Her voice was thin and bitter, with a crying laugh
in it.
“Look here, Fan!” said
Brook suddenly. “This is all nonsense.
We agreed to play together, and we’ve played
very nicely, and now you have to go home, and I have
got to stay here, whether I like it or not. Let
us be good friends and say good-bye, and if we meet
again and have nothing better to do, we can play again
if we please. But as for taking it in this tragical
way why, it isn’t worth it.”
The young girl crouching in the shadow
felt as though she had been struck, and her heart
went out with indignant sympathy to the little lady
in white.
“Do you know? I think you
are the most absolutely brutal, cynical creature I
ever met!” There was anger in the voice, now,
and something more something which Clare
could not understand.
“Well, I’m sorry,”
answered the man. “I don’t mean to
be brutal, I’m sure, and I don’t think
I’m cynical either. I look at things as
they are, not as they ought to be. We are not
angels, and the millennium hasn’t come yet.
I suppose it would be bad for us if it did, just now.
But we used to be very good friends last year.
I don’t see why we shouldn’t be again.”
“Friends! Oh no!”
Lady Fan turned from him and made
a step or two alone, out through the moonlight, towards
the house. Brook did not move. Perhaps he
knew that she would come back, as indeed she did,
stopping suddenly and turning round to face him again.
“Brook,” she began more
softly, “do you remember that evening up at the
Acropolis at sunset? Do you remember
what you said?”
“Yes, I think I do.”
“You said that if I could get free you would
marry me.”
“Yes.” The man’s tone had changed
suddenly.
“Well I believed you, that’s
all.”
Brook stood quite still, and looked
at her quietly. Some seconds passed before she
spoke again.
“You did not mean it?” she asked sorrowfully.
Still he said nothing.
“Because you know,” she
continued, her eyes fixed on his, “the position
is not at all impossible. All things considered,
I suppose I could have a divorce for the asking.”
Clare started a little in the dark.
She was beginning to guess something of the truth
she could not understand. The man still said nothing,
but he began to walk up and down slowly, with folded
arms, along the edge of the shadow before Lady Fan
as she stood still, following him with her eyes.
“You did not mean a word of
what you said that afternoon? Not one word?”
She spoke very slowly and distinctly.
He was silent still, pacing up and
down before her. Suddenly, without a word, she
turned from him and walked quickly away, towards the
hotel. He started and stood still, looking after
her then he also made a step.
“Fan!” he called, in a
tone she could hear, but she went on. “Mrs.
Crosby!” he called again.
She stopped, turned, and waited.
It was clear that Lady Fan was a nickname, Clare thought.
“Well?” she asked.
Clare clasped her hands together in
her excitement, watching and listening, and holding
her breath.
“Don’t go like that!”
exclaimed Brook, going forward and holding out one
hand.
“Do you want me?” asked
the lady in white, very gently, almost tenderly.
Clare did not understand how any woman could have so
little pride, but she pitied the little lady from
her heart.
Brook went on till he came up with
Lady Fan, who did not make a step to meet him.
But just as he reached her she put out her hand to
take his. Clare thought he was relenting, but
she was mistaken. His voice came back to her
clear and distinct, and it had a very gentle ring in
it.
“Fan, dear,” he said,
“we have been very fond of each other in our
careless way. But we have not loved each other.
We may have thought that we did, for a moment, now
and then. I shall always be fond of you, just
in that way. I’ll do anything for you.
But I won’t marry you, if you get a divorce.
It would be utter folly. If I ever said I would,
in so many words well, I’m ashamed
of it. You’ll forgive me some day.
One says things sometimes that
one means for a minute, and then, afterwards, one
doesn’t mean them. But I mean what I am
saying now.”
He dropped her hand, and stood looking
at her, and waiting for her to speak. Her face,
as Clare saw it, from a distance now, looked whiter
than ever. After an instant she turned from him
with a quick movement, but not towards the hotel.
She walked slowly towards the stone
parapet of the platform. As she went, Clare again
saw her raise her handkerchief and press it to her
lips, but she did not bend her head. She went
and leaned on her elbows on the parapet, and her hands
pulled nervously at the handkerchief as she looked
down at the calm sea far below. Brook followed
her slowly, but just as he was near, she, hearing
his footsteps, turned and leaned back against the
low wall.
“Give me a cigarette,”
she said in a hard voice. “I’m nervous and
I’ve got to face those people in a moment.”
Clare started again in sheer surprise.
She had expected tears, fainting, angry words, a passionate
appeal anything rather than what she heard.
Brook produced a silver case which gleamed in the moonlight.
Lady Fan took a cigarette, and her companion took
another. He struck a match and held it up for
her in the still air. The little flame cast its
red glare into their faces. The young girl had
good eyes, and as she watched them she saw the man’s
expression was grave and stern, a little sad, perhaps,
but she fancied that there was the beginning of a scornful
smile on the woman’s lips. She understood
less clearly then than ever what manner of human beings
these two strangers might be.
For some moments they smoked in silence,
the lady in white leaning back against the parapet,
the man standing upright with one hand in his pocket,
holding his cigarette in the other, and looking out
to sea. Then Lady Fan stood up, too, and threw
her cigarette over the wall.
“It’s time to be going,”
she said, suddenly. “They’ll be coming
after us if we stay here.”
But she did not move. Sideways
she looked up into his face. Then she held out
her hand.
“Good-bye, Brook,” she
said, quietly enough, as he took it.
“Good-bye,” he murmured in a low voice,
but distinctly.
Their hands stayed together after
they had spoken, and still she looked up to him in
the moonlight. Suddenly he bent down and kissed
her on the forehead in an odd, hasty way.
“I’m sorry, Fan, but it won’t do,”
he said.
“Again!” she answered. “Once
more, please!” And she held up her face.
He kissed her again, but less hastily,
Clare thought, as she watched them. Then, without
another word, they walked towards the hotel, side by
side, close together, so that their hands almost touched.
When they were not ten paces from the door, they stopped
again and looked at each other.
At that moment Clare saw her mother’s
dark figure on the threshold. The pair must have
heard her steps, for they separated a little and instantly
went on, passing Mrs. Bowring quickly. Clare sat
still in her place, waiting for her mother to come
to her. She feared lest, if she moved, the two
might come back for an instant, see her, and understand
that they had been watched. Mrs. Bowring went
forward a few steps.
“Clare!” she called.
“Yes,” answered the young girl softly.
“Here I am.”
“Oh I could not see
you at all,” said her mother. “Come
down into the moonlight.”
The young girl descended the steps,
and the two began to walk up and down together on
the platform.
“Those were two of the people
from the yacht that I met at the door,” said
Mrs. Bowring. “The lady in white serge,
and that good-looking young man.”
“Yes,” Clare answered.
“They were here some time. I don’t
think they saw me.”
She had meant to tell her mother something
of what had happened, in the hope of being told that
she had done right in not revealing her presence.
But on second thoughts she resolved to say nothing
about it. To have told the story would have seemed
like betraying a confidence, even though they were
strangers to her.
“I could not help wondering
about them this afternoon,” said Mrs. Bowring.
“She ordered him about in a most extraordinary
way, as though he had been her servant. I thought
it in very bad taste, to say the least of it.
Of course I don’t know anything about their relations,
but it struck me that she wished to show him off,
as her possession.”
“Yes,” answered Clare, thoughtfully.
“I thought so too.”
“Very foolish of her! No
man will stand that sort of thing long. That
isn’t the way to treat a man in order to keep
him.”
“What is the best way?”
asked the young girl idly, with a little laugh.
“Don’t ask me!”
answered Mrs. Bowring quickly, as they turned in their
walk. “But I should think ”
she added, a moment later, “I don’t know but
I should think ” she hesitated.
“What?” inquired Clare, with some curiosity.
“Well, I was going to say, I
should think that a man would wish to feel that he
is holding, not that he is held. But then people
are so different! One can never tell. At
all events, it is foolish to wish to show everybody
that you own a man, so to say.”
Mrs. Bowring seemed to be considering
the question, but she evidently found nothing more
to say about it, and they walked up and down in silence
for a long time, each occupied with her own thoughts.
Then all at once there was a sound of many voices
speaking English, and trying to give orders in Italian,
and the words “Good-bye, Brook!” sounded
several times above the rest. Little by little,
all grew still again.
“They are gone at last,”
said Mrs. Bowring, with a sigh of relief.