Henrietta died when she was sixty-three.
Her father and stepmother were long dead, also her
second brother, whom none of the family had seen for
years. When her relations were sent for, it was
very cold weather in January, and Louie and Minna
did not obey the summons. They deplored it continually
afterwards, and explained to one another how appalling
the wind had been, and what care they had to take
for their children’s sake, and how Henrietta
had frightened them so much the year before by sending
for them when there was no need, that they naturally
could not be expected to realize that this time it
really was important.
William came, looking more benevolent
than ever with his very becoming white hair.
Henrietta said that she thought it was the last time
she should see him, but he assured her it was just
the cold which had pulled her down a little, and she
would be all right again as soon as the wind changed.
“It’s wretched, knocks everybody up.”
He looked so hearty and mundane that it almost seemed,
when he was in the room, as if there could not be
such a thing as death.
They talked about the drought last
summer, and William’s son, who was a planter
in Ceylon, and the noise of the motor-buses in London,
until William said he must go for his train.
He was allowing a quarter of an hour too much time,
for he was able to stay and talk a little while with
the doctor, who called when he was there.
“There isn’t any chance, you say.”
“No, I am afraid not. Miss
Symons’ heart has been delicate for some years;
it gives her very little strength to stand against
this attack.”
“Um! I was afraid so,”
said William, and he was glad to get out of the house,
and buy a Pall Mall.
The inspector niece came down (uninvited),
very energetic, and very kind in using the last few
days of her holidays in nursing a disagreeable reactionary
relation. She dominated the nurse, who was much
meeker than nurses usually are, and quite quelled
her poor aunt, too weak to protest even at attacks
on the monarchy. But Henrietta was much happier
when the niece’s holidays came to an end, and
she was left to die quietly and dully with the nurse.
Evelyn was away in Egypt with Herbert
for her health, and by a most unfortunate accident
she did not get the first telegram announcing Henrietta’s
dangerous illness. Poor Henrietta asked constantly
if there was nothing from her, and as she got weaker,
and a little wandering, she kept on crying like a
child: “I want Evelyn.” They
cabled again, and when the answer came, “Starting
home at once,” it was too late, and Henrietta
was not sufficiently herself to understand it.
As soon as Evelyn got home, she went
to Bath. The little house was still as it was,
but for some legacies which a careful nephew had already
abstracted. But the place of the dead seemed to
have been filled even more quickly than usual.
Annie, as she said, had only waited “till the
pore old lady was taken” to marry comfortably
with a saddler, and the parlourmaid was already established
in a very smart town situation. There was an
unknown caretaker to look after the house, which was
to let. Evelyn saw the doctor and the clergyman,
who both spoke kindly of Miss Symons. “We
shall miss your sister very much,” said Mr. Vaughan,
“she was always doing kind things,” and
he did miss her to a certain extent, but there is
a ceaseless supply of generous, touchy incapable old
ladies in England, and he could not be expected to
miss her very much. Evelyn went to see the nurse,
and could hear from her more of what she wanted.
The nurse was a kind, sweet girl, the centre of an
affectionate family, and engaged to a devoted young
clerk.
“Oh, Mrs. Ferrers, if only you
could have come back in time,” she said, sobbing,
“or if you could have written. She did
want you so; every time there was a ring it was, ‘Is
that from her?’ and I heard her say to herself:
‘I thought she would be sure to come.’
I simply had to go out in the passage, I couldn’t
keep back my tears, and of course one must always
be bright before a patient; it is so bad for them if
one isn’t. Some nieces and nephews came,
and one of them stayed several days, and two brothers,
I think; and there were several members of the family
there for the funeral, and she had some simply lovely
wreaths, and the church was nice and full, numbers
of her poor people were there,” brought there,
as surely the kind nurse knew, not from love of Henrietta,
but from love of funerals, “but when your wire
did come I cried for joy, though we couldn’t
make her take it in, poor dear; still it seemed as
if someone really cared for her. Oh, she looked
so lovely and peaceful at the end, all the trouble
gone.”
This was a comforting deception, which
the nurse thought it justifiable to practise on relations,
for in fact death had not changed Henrietta; there
had been no transfiguration to beauty and nobility,
she looked what she had been in life insignificant,
feeble, and unhappy.
“Miss Symons asked me to give
you this box,” said the nurse. “She
made me promise I would give it you over and over
again.”
Evelyn found it was an inlaid sandalwood
box, which she had sent from India as a present from
the first baby. In it she found Herbert’s
letter announcing the death of little Madeline, hers
and the other two babies’ photographs, and a
sheet of notepaper, tied with blue ribbon. On
it was written, “I can’t tell you how
much good you have done me, I seem to have been living
for this for fifteen years. EVELYN, September
23, 1890.” As she read it, Evelyn remembered,
what she had long forgotten, that this was what she
had once said to Henrietta.
When she walked to the hotel, it was
a bright, sunny afternoon, and snow was on the ground.
She went to her room to take off her things, but she
stood instead at the window, too intent on what she
had heard to be capable of anything. Her heart
was almost bursting to think that Henrietta should
have treasured all these years the little love she
had given her, crumbs, which she had as it were left
over from her husband and boys, love not even for
Henrietta’s own sake, but for the sake of the
dead children. She with all the riches of love
poured on her, and Henrietta with so little.
“I was cold, selfish, self-absorbed, I didn’t
think of her, I forgot her, I criticized her; it was
all my fault.”
But even at this moment of exaltation
Evelyn realized that it was not her fault, but Henrietta’s
own; that it was because she was so unlovable that
she was so little loved.
“But if she had had the chance
she wouldn’t have been unlovable. She was
capable of greater love than any of us, and she never
had the chance. If there is any justice and mercy
in the world how can they allow a poor, weak human
creature to have so few opportunities, such hard temptations,
and when it yields to temptation to suffer so cruelly?
And now I am to go back, and be happy with Herbert
and the boys, and to feel quite truly that I did everything
I could, I can’t bear it.”
She was so much filled with her thoughts
that she had not observed the flight of time.
She looked up, and was suddenly aware that the night
had come, and that the sky was shining with innumerable
stars. At the same moment she felt inextricably
mingled with the stars, a rush of the most exquisite
sensation, emotion, replenishment she had ever known.
She felt through every fibre of her being that it
was all perfectly well with Henrietta, and that the
bitterness, aimlessness, and emptiness of her life
was made up to her. This conviction was a thousand
times more real to her than the room in which she
was standing, more real than the stars, more real
than herself. Tears of delight came raining down
her cheeks, and she found that she was saying over
and over again, “Darling, I am so glad”;
poor childish words, but no more inadequate than the
noblest in the language to express her unspeakable
comfort, beyond all utterance, even beyond thought.
How often she said these words, or how long this bliss
lasted she could not tell.
A strange dream-like remembrance of
it stayed with her for some days. She told her
husband, and he said, “I am very glad of anything
that can be a comfort to you, dearest;” but
he looked at her anxiously, and thought it was a sign
that she was to be ill again. However, she continued
well and strong. She told no one else, but from
henceforth she was perfectly happy about Henrietta.