It was wonderful when Mr. MacNairn
and his mother came. It was even more beautiful
than I had thought it would be. They arrived late
in the afternoon, and when I took them out upon the
terrace the sun was reddening the moor, and even the
rough, gray towers of the castle were stained rose-color.
There was that lovely evening sound of birds twittering
before they went to sleep in the ivy. The glimpses
of gardens below seemed like glimpses of rich tapestries
set with jewels. And there was such stillness!
When we drew our three chairs in a little group together
and looked out on it all, I felt as if we were almost
in heaven.
“Yes! yes!” Hector said,
looking slowly round; “it is all here.”
“Yes,” his mother added,
in her lovely, lovely voice. “It is what
made you Ysobel.”
It was so angelic of them to feel
it all in that deep, quiet way, and to think that
it was part of me and I a part of it. The climbing
moon was trembling with beauty. Tender evening
airs quivered in the heather and fern, and the late
birds called like spirits.
Ever since the night when Mrs. MacNairn
had held me in her arms under the apple-tree while
the nightingale sang I had felt toward her son as
if he were an archangel walking on the earth.
Perhaps my thoughts were exaggerated, but it seemed
so marvelous that he should be moving among us, doing
his work, seeing and talking to his friends, and yet
that he should know that at any moment the great change
might come and he might awaken somewhere else, in
quite another place. If he had been like other
men and I had been like other girls, I suppose that
after that night when I heard the truth I should have
been plunged into the darkest woe and have almost
sobbed myself to death. Why did I not? I
do not know except except that I felt that
no darkness could come between us because no darkness
could touch him. He could never be anything but
alive alive. If I could not see him it would only
be because my eyes were not clear and strong enough.
I seemed to be waiting for something. I wanted
to keep near him.
I was full of this feeling as we sat
together on the terrace and watched the moon.
I could scarcely look away from him. He was rather
pale that evening, but there seemed to be a light
behind his pallor, and his eyes seemed to see so much
more than the purple and yellow of the heather and
gorse as they rested on them.
After I had watched him silently for
a little while I leaned forward and pointed to a part
of the moor where there was an unbroken blaze of gorse
in full bloom like a big patch of gold.
“That is where I was sitting
when Wee Brown Elspeth was first brought to me,”
I said.
He sat upright and looked. “Is
it?” he answered. “Will you take me
there to-morrow? I have always wanted to see
the place.”
“Would you like to go early
in the morning? The mist is more likely to be
there then, as it was that day. It is so mysterious
and beautiful. Would you like to do that?”
I asked him.
“Better than anything else!”
he said. “Yes, let us go in the morning.”
“Wee Brown Elspeth seems very
near me this evening,” I said. “I
feel as if ” I broke off and began
again. “I have a puzzled feeling about her.
This afternoon I found some manuscript pushed behind
a book on a high shelf in the library. Angus
said he had hidden it there because it was a savage
story he did not wish me to read. It was the history
of the feud between Ian Red Hand and Dark Malcolm
of the Glen. Dark Malcolm’s child was called
Wee Brown Elspeth hundreds of years ago five
hundred, I think. It makes me feel so bewildered
when I remember the one I played with.”
“It was a bloody story,”
he said. “I heard it only a few days before
we met at Sir Ian’s house in London.”
That made me recall something.
“Was that why you started when I told you about
Elspeth?” I asked.
“Yes. Perhaps the one you
played with was a little descendant who had inherited
her name,” he answered, a trifle hurriedly.
“I confess I was startled for a moment.”
I put my hand up to my forehead and
rubbed it unconsciously. I could not help seeing
a woesome picture.
“Poor little soul, with the
blood pouring from her heart and her brown hair spread
over her dead father’s breast!” I stopped,
because a faint memory came back to me. “Mine,”
I stammered “mine how strange! had
a great stain on the embroideries of her dress.
She looked at it and looked. She looked
as if she didn’t like it as if she
didn’t understand how it came there. She
covered it with ferns and bluebells.”
I felt as if I were being drawn away
into a dream. I made a sudden effort to come
back. I ceased rubbing my forehead and dropped
my hand, sitting upright.
“I must ask Angus and Jean to
tell me about her,” I said. “Of course,
they must have known. I wonder why I never thought
of asking questions before.”
It was a strange look I met when I
involuntarily turned toward him such an
absorbed, strange, tender look!
I knew he sat quite late in the library
that night, talking to Angus after his mother and
I went to our rooms. Just as I was falling asleep
I remember there floated through my mind a vague recollection
of what Angus had said to me of asking his advice
about something; and I wondered if he would reach
the subject in their talk, or if they would spend
all their time in poring over manuscripts and books
together.
The moor wore its most mysterious
look when I got up in the early morning. It had
hidden itself in its softest snows of white, swathing
mist. Only here and there dark fir-trees showed
themselves above it, and now and then the whiteness
thinned or broke and drifted. It was as I had
wanted him to see it just as I had wanted
to walk through it with him.
We had met in the hall as we had planned,
and, wrapped in our plaids because the early morning
air was cold, we tramped away together. No one
but myself could ever realize what it was like.
I had never known that there could be such a feeling
of companionship in the world. It would not have
been necessary for us to talk at all if we had felt
silent. We should have been saying things to
each other without words. But we did talk as
we walked in quiet voices which seemed made
quieter by the mist, and of quiet things which such
voices seemed to belong to.
We crossed the park to a stile in
a hedge where a path led at once on to the moor.
Part of the park itself had once been moorland, and
was dark with slender firs and thick grown with heather
and broom. On the moor the mist grew thicker,
and if I had not so well known the path we might have
lost ourselves in it. Also I knew by heart certain
little streams that rushed and made guiding sounds
which were sometimes loud whispers and sometimes singing
babbles. The damp, sweet scent of fern and heather
was in our nostrils; as we climbed we breathed its
freshness.
“There is a sort of unearthly
loveliness in it all,” Hector MacNairn said
to me. His voice was rather like his mother’s.
It always seemed to say so much more than his words.
“We might be ghosts,”
I answered. “We might be some of those the
mist hides because they like to be hidden.”
“You would not be afraid if
you met one of them?” he said.
“No. I think I am sure
of that. I should feel that it was only like
myself, and, if I could hear, might tell me things
I want to know.”
“What do you want to know?” he asked me,
very low. “You!”
“Only what everybody wants to
know that it is really awakening free,
ready for wonderful new things, finding oneself in
the midst of wonders. I don’t mean angels
with harps and crowns, but beauty such as we see now;
only seeing it without burdens of fears before and
behind us. And knowing there is no reason to
be afraid. We have all been so afraid. We
don’t know how afraid we have been of
everything.”
I stopped among the heather and threw
my arms out wide. I drew in a great, joyous morning
breath.
“Free like that! It is
the freeness, the light, splendid freeness, I think
of most.”
“The freeness!” he repeated. “Yes,
the freeness!”
“As for beauty,” I almost
whispered, in a sort of reverence for visions I remembered,
“I have stood on this moor a thousand times and
seen loveliness which made me tremble. One’s
soul could want no more in any life. But ‘Out
on the Hillside’ I knew I was part of it,
and it was ecstasy. That was the freeness.”
“Yes it was the freeness,”
he answered.
We brushed through the heather and
the bracken, and flower-bells shook showers of radiant
drops upon us. The mist wavered and sometimes
lifted before us, and opened up mystic vistas to veil
them again a few minutes later. The sun tried
to break through, and sometimes we walked in a golden
haze.
We fell into silence. Now and
then I glanced sidewise at my companion as we made
our soundless way over the thick moss. He looked
so strong and beautiful. His tall body was so
fine, his shoulders so broad and splendid! How
could it be! How could it be! As he tramped
beside me he was thinking deeply, and he knew he need
not talk to me. That made me glad that
he should know me so well and feel me so near.
That was what he felt when he was with his mother,
that she understood and that at times neither of them
needed words.
Until we had reached the patch of
gorse where we intended to end our walk we did not
speak at all. He was thinking of things which
led him far. I knew that, though I did not know
what they were. When we reached the golden blaze
we had seen the evening before it was a flame of gold
again, because it was only for a few moments the
mist had blown apart and the sun was shining on it.
As we stood in the midst of it together Oh!
how strange and beautiful it was! Mr. MacNairn
came back. That was what it seemed to me that
he came back. He stood quite still a moment and
looked about him, and then he stretched out his arms
as I had stretched out mine. But he did it slowly,
and a light came into his face.
“If, after it was over, a man
awakened as you said and found himself the
self he knew, but light, free, splendid remembering
all the ages of dark, unknowing dread, of horror of
some black, aimless plunge, and suddenly seeing all
the childish uselessness of it how he would
stand and smile! How he would stand and smile!”
Never had I understood anything more
clearly than I understood then. Yes, yes!
That would be it. Remembering all the waste of
fear, how he would stand and smile!
He was smiling himself, the golden
gorse about him already losing its flame in the light
returning mist-wraiths closing again over it, when
I heard a sound far away and high up the moor.
It sounded like the playing of a piper. He did
not seem to notice it.
“We shall be shut in again,”
he said. “How mysterious it is, this opening
and closing! I like it more than anything else.
Let us sit down, Ysobel.”
He spread the plaid we had brought
to sit on, and laid on it the little strapped basket
Jean had made ready for us. He shook the mist
drops from our own plaids, and as I was about to sit
down I stopped a moment to listen.
“That is a tune I never heard
on the pipes before,” I said. “What
is a piper doing out on the moor so early?”
He listened also. “It must
be far away. I don’t hear it,” he
said. “Perhaps it is a bird whistling.”
“It is far away,” I answered,
“but it is not a bird. It’s the pipes,
and playing such a strange tune. There!
It has stopped!”
But it was not silent long; I heard
the tune begin again much nearer, and the piper was
plainly coming toward us. I turned my head.
The mist was clearing, and floated
about like a thin veil through which one could see
objects. At a short distance above us on the moor
I saw something moving. It was a man who was
playing the pipes. It was the piper, and almost
at once I knew him, because it was actually my own
Feargus, stepping proudly through the heather with
his step like a stag on the hills. His head was
held high, and his face had a sort of elated delight
in it as if he were enjoying himself and the morning
and the music in a new way. I was so surprised
that I rose to my feet and called to him.
“Feargus!” I cried. “What ”
I knew he heard me, because he turned
and looked at me with the most extraordinary smile.
He was usually a rather grave-faced man, but this
smile had a kind of startling triumph in it. He
certainly heard me, for he whipped off his bonnet
in a salute which was as triumphant as the smile.
But he did not answer, and actually passed in and out
of sight in the mist.
When I rose Mr. MacNairn had risen,
too. When I turned to speak in my surprise, he
had fixed on me his watchful look.
“Imagine its being Feargus at
this hour!” I exclaimed. “And why
did he pass by in such a hurry without answering?
He must have been to a wedding and have been up all
night. He looked ” I stopped
a second and laughed.
“How did he look?” Mr. MacNairn asked.
“Pale! That won’t
do though he certainly didn’t look
ill.” I laughed again. “I’m
laughing because he looked almost like one of the White
People.”
“Are you sure it was Feargus?” he said.
“Quite sure. No one else
is the least like Feargus. Didn’t you see
him yourself?”
“I don’t know him as well
as you do; and there was the mist,” was his
answer. “But he certainly was not one of
the White People when I saw him last night.”
I wondered why he looked as he did
when he took my hand and drew me down to my place
on the plaid again. He did not let it go when
he sat down by my side. He held it in his own
large, handsome one, looking down on it a moment or
so; and then he bent his head and kissed it long and
slowly two or three times.
“Dear little Ysobel!”
he said. “Beloved, strange little Ysobel.”
“Am I strange!” I said, softly.
“Yes, thank God!” he answered.
I had known that some day when we
were at Muircarrie together he would tell me what
his mother had told me about what we three
might have been to one another. I trembled with
happiness at the thought of hearing him say it himself.
I knew he was going to say it now.
He held my hand and stroked it.
“My mother told you, Ysobel what I
am waiting for?” he said.
“Yes.”
“Do you know I love you?” he said, very
low.
“Yes. I love you, too.
My whole life would have been heaven if we could always
have been together,” was my answer.
He drew me up into his arms so that
my cheek lay against his breast as I went on, holding
fast to the rough tweed of his jacket and whispering:
“I should have belonged to you two, heart and
body and soul. I should never have been lonely
again. I should have known nothing, whatsoever
happened, but tender joy.”
“Whatsoever happened?” he murmured.
“Whatsoever happens now, Ysobel,
know nothing but tender joy. I think you can.
‘Out on the Hillside!’ Let us remember.”
“Yes, yes,” I said; “‘Out
on the Hillside.’” And our two faces, damp
with the sweet mist, were pressed together.