The mist had floated away, and the
moor was drenched with golden sunshine when we went
back to the castle. As we entered the hall I heard
the sound of a dog howling, and spoke of it to one
of the men-servants who had opened the door.
“That sounds like Gelert. Is he shut up
somewhere?”
Gelert was a beautiful sheep-dog who
belonged to Feargus and was his heart’s friend.
I allowed him to be kept in the courtyard.
The man hesitated before he answered
me, with a curiously grave face.
“It is Gelert, miss. He
is howling for his master. We were obliged to
shut him in the stables.”
“But Feargus ought to have reached
here by this time,” I was beginning.
I was stopped because I found Angus
Macayre almost at my elbow. He had that moment
come out of the library. He put his hand on my
arm.
“Will ye come with me?”
he said, and led me back to the room he had just left.
He kept his hand on my arm when we all stood together
inside, Hector and I looking at him in wondering question.
He was going to tell me something we both
saw that.
“It is a sad thing you have
to hear,” he said. “He was a fine
man, Feargus, and a most faithful servant. He
went to see his mother last night and came back late
across the moor. There was a heavy mist, and he
must have lost his way. A shepherd found his body
in a tarn at daybreak. They took him back to
his father’s home.”
I looked at Hector MacNairn and again
at Angus. “But it couldn’t be Feargus,”
I cried. “I saw him an hour ago. He
passed us playing on his pipes. He was playing
a new tune I had never heard before a wonderful, joyous
thing. I both heard and saw him!”
Angus stood still and watched me.
They both stood still and watched me, and even in
my excitement I saw that each of them looked a little
pale.
“You said you did not hear him
at first, but you surely saw him when he passed so
near,” I protested. “I called to him,
and he took off his bonnet, though he did not stop.
He was going so quickly that perhaps he did not hear
me call his name.”
What strange thing in Hector’s
look checked me? Who knows?
“You did see him, didn’t you?”
I asked of him.
Then he and Angus exchanged glances,
as if asking each other to decide some grave thing.
It was Hector MacNairn who decided it.
“No,” he answered, very
quietly, “I neither saw nor heard him, even when
he passed. But you did.”
“I did, quite plainly,”
I went on, more and more bewildered by the way in
which they kept a sort of tender, awed gaze fixed on
me. “You remember I even noticed that he
looked pale. I laughed, you know, when I said
he looked almost like one of the White People ”
Just then my breath caught itself
and I stopped. I began to remember things hundreds
of things.
Angus spoke to me again as quietly as Hector had spoken.
“Neither Jean nor I ever saw
Wee Brown Elspeth,” he said “neither
Jean nor I. But you did. You have always seen
what the rest of us did not see, my bairn always.”
I stammered out a few words, half
in a whisper. “I have always seen what
you others could not see? What have I seen?”
But I was not frightened. I suppose
I could never tell any one what strange, wide, bright
places seemed suddenly to open and shine before me.
Not places to shrink back from oh no! no!
One could be sure, then sure!
Feargus had lifted his bonnet with that extraordinary
triumph in his look even Feargus, who had
been rather dour.
“You called them the White People,” Hector
MacNairn said.
Angus and Jean had known all my life.
A very old shepherd who had looked in my face when
I was a baby had said I had the eyes which “Saw.”
It was only the saying of an old Highlander, and might
not have been remembered. Later the two began
to believe I had a sight they had not. The night
before Wee Brown Elspeth had been brought to me Angus
had read for the first time the story of Dark Malcolm,
and as they sat near me on the moor they had been
talking about it. That was why he forgot himself
when I came to ask them where the child had gone, and
told him of the big, dark man with the scar on his
forehead. After that they were sure.
They had always hidden their knowledge
from me because they were afraid it might frighten
me to be told. I had not been a strong child.
They kept the secret from my relatives because they
knew they would dislike to hear it and would not believe,
and also would dislike me as a queer, abnormal creature.
Angus had fears of what they might do with doctors
and severe efforts to obliterate from my mind my “nonsense,”
as they would have been sure to call it. The
two wise souls had shielded me on every side.
“It was better that you should
go on thinking it only a simple, natural thing,”
Angus said. “And as to natural, what is
natural and what is not? Man has not learned
all the laws of nature yet. Nature’s a grand,
rich, endless thing, always unrolling her scroll with
writings that seem new on it. They’re not
new. They were always written there. But
they were not unrolled. Never a law broken, never
a new law, only laws read with stronger eyes.”
Angus and I had always been very fond
of the Bible the strange old temple of
wonders, full of all the poems and tragedies and histories
of man, his hates and battles and loves and follies,
and of the Wisdom of the universe and the promises
of the splendors of it, and which even those of us
who think ourselves the most believing neither wholly
believe nor will understand. We had pored over
and talked of it. We had never thought of it
as only a pious thing to do. The book was to us
one of the mystic, awe-inspiring, prophetic marvels
of the world.
That was what made me say, half whispering:
“I have wondered and wondered what it meant that
verse in Isaiah: ’Behold the former things
are come to pass and new things do I declare; before
they spring forth I tell you of them.’
Perhaps it means only the unrolling of the scroll.”
“Aye, aye!” said Angus;
“it is full of such deep sayings, and none of
us will listen to them.”
“It has taken man eons of time,”
Hector MacNairn said, thinking it out as he spoke “eons
of time to reach the point where he is beginning to
know that in every stock and stone in his path may
lie hidden some power he has not yet dreamed of.
He has learned that lightning may be commanded, distance
conquered, motion chained and utilized; but he, the
one conscious force, has never yet begun to suspect
that of all others he may be the one as yet the least
explored. How do we know that there does not
lie in each of us a wholly natural but, so far, dormant
power of sight a power to see what has
been called The Unseen through all the Ages whose
sightlessness has made them Dark? Who knows when
the Shadow around us may begin to clear? Oh,
we are a dull lot we human things with
a queer, obstinate conceit of ourselves.”
“Complete we think we are,”
Angus murmured half to himself. “Finished
creatures! And look at us! How many of us
in a million have beauty and health and full power?
And believing that the law is that we must crumple
and go to pieces hour by hour! Who’d waste
the time making a clock that went wrong as often?
Nay, nay! We shall learn better than this as
time goes on. And we’d better be beginning
and setting our minds to work on it. ’Tis
for us to do the minds of us. And what’s
the mind of us but the Mind that made us? Simple
and straight enough it is when once you begin to think
it out. The spirit of you sees clearer than we
do, that’s all,” he said to me. “When
your mother brought you into the world she was listening
to one outside calling to her, and it opened the way
for you.”
At night Hector MacNairn and his mother
and I sat on the terrace under stars which seemed
listening things, and we three drew nearer to one
another, and nearer and nearer.
“When the poor mother stumbled
into the train that day,” was one of the things
Hector told me, “I was thinking of The Fear and
of my own mother. You looked so slight and small
as you sat in your corner that I thought at first
you were almost a child. Then a far look in your
eyes made me begin to watch you. You were so
sorry for the poor woman that you could not look away
from her, and something in your face touched and puzzled
me. You leaned forward suddenly and put out your
hand protectingly as she stepped down on to the platform.
“That night when you spoke quite
naturally of the child, never doubting that I had
seen it, I suddenly began to suspect. Because
of The Fear” he hesitated “I
had been reading and thinking many things new to me.
I did not know what I believed. But you spoke
so simply, and I knew you were speaking the truth.
Then you spoke just as naturally of Wee Brown Elspeth.
That startled me because not long before I had been
told the tale in the Highlands by a fine old story-teller
who is the head of his clan. I saw you had never
heard the story before. And yet you were telling
me that you had played with the child.”
“He came home and told me about
you,” Mrs. MacNairn said. “His fear
of The Fear was more for me than for himself.
He knew that if he brought you to me, you who are
more complete than we are, clearer-eyed and nearer,
nearer, I should begin to feel that he was not going out.
I should begin to feel a reality and nearness myself.
Ah, Ysobel! How we have clung to you and loved
you! And then that wonderful afternoon! I
saw no girl with her hand through Mr. Le Breton’s
arm; Hector saw none. But you saw her. She
was there!”
“Yes, she was there,”
I answered. “She was there, smiling up at
him. I wish he could have known.”
What does it matter if this seems
a strange story? To some it will mean something;
to some it will mean nothing. To those it has
a meaning for it will open wide windows into the light
and lift heavy loads. That would be quite enough,
even if the rest thought it only the weird fancy of
a queer girl who had lived alone and given rein to
her silliest imaginings. I wanted to tell it,
howsoever poorly and ineffectively it was done.
Since I knew I have dropped the load of ages the
black burden. Out on the hillside my feet did
not even feel the grass, and yet I was standing, not
floating. I had no wings or crown. I was
only Ysobel out on the hillside, free!
This is the way it all ended.
For three weeks that were like heaven
we three lived together at Muircarrie. We saw
every beauty and shared every joy of sun and dew and
love and tender understanding.
After one lovely day we had spent
on the moor in a quiet dream of joy almost strange
in its perfectness, we came back to the castle; and,
because the sunset was of such unearthly radiance and
changing wonder we sat on the terrace until the last
soft touch of gold had died out and left the pure,
still, clear, long summer twilight.
When Mrs. MacNairn and I went in to
dress for dinner, Hector lingered a little behind
us because the silent beauty held him.
I came down before his mother did,
and I went out upon the terrace again because I saw
he was still sitting there. I went to the stone
balustrade very quietly and leaned against it as I
turned to look at him and speak.
Then I stood quite still and looked
long for some reason not startled, not
anguished, not even feeling that he had gone.
He was more beautiful than any human creature I had
ever seen before. But It had happened as they
said it would. He had not ceased but
something else had. Something had ceased.
It was the next evening before I came
out on the terrace again. The day had been more
exquisite and the sunset more wonderful than before.
Mrs. MacNairn was sitting by her son’s side
in the bedroom whose windows looked over the moor.
I am not going to say one word of what had come between
the two sunsets. Mrs. MacNairn and I had clung and
clung. We had promised never to part from each
other. I did not quite know why I went out on
the terrace; perhaps it was because I had always loved
to sit or stand there.
This evening I stood and leaned upon
the balustrade, looking out far, far, far over the
moor. I stood and gazed and gazed. I was
thinking about the Secret and the Hillside. I
was very quiet as quiet as the twilight’s
self. And there came back to me the memory of
what Hector had said as we stood on the golden patch
of gorse when the mist had for a moment or so blown
aside, what he had said of man’s awakening, and,
remembering all the ages of childish, useless
dread, how he would stand I did not turn
suddenly, but slowly. I was not startled in the
faintest degree. He stood there close to me as
he had so often stood.
And he stood and smiled.
I have seen him many times since.
I shall see him many times again. And when I
see him he always stands and smiles.