CHAPTER II - KALORA’S AFFLICTION
If it had been planned to make this
an old-fashioned discursive novel, say of the Victor
Hugo variety, the second chapter would expend itself
upon a philosophical discussion of Fat and a sensational
showing of how and why the presence or absence of
adipose tissue, at certain important crises, had altered
the destinies of the whole race.
The subject offers vast possibilities.
It involves the physical attractiveness of every woman
in History and permits one to speculate wildly as
to what might have happened if Cleopatra had weighed
forty pounds heavier, if Elizabeth had been a gaunt
and wiry creature, or if Joan of Arc had been so bulky
that she could not have fastened on her armor.
The soft layers which enshroud the
hard machinery of the human frame seem to arrive in
a merely incidental or accidental sort of way.
Yet once they have arrived they exert a mysterious
influence over careers. Because of a mere change
in contour, many a queen has lost her throne.
It is a terrifying thought when one remembers that
fat so often comes and so seldom goes.
It has been explained that in Morovenia,
obesity and feminine beauty increased in the same
ratio. The woman reigning in the hearts of men
was the one who could displace the most atmosphere.
Because of the fashionableness of
fat, Count Selim Malagaski, Governor-General of Morovenia,
was very unhappy. He had two daughters.
One was fat; one was thin. To be more explicit,
one was gloriously fat and the other was distressingly
thin.
Jeneka was the name of the one who
had been blessed abundantly. Several of the younger
men in official circles, who had seen Jeneka at a
distance, when she waddled to her carriage or turned
side-wise to enter a shop-door, had written verses
about her in which they compared her to the blushing
pomegranate, the ripe melon, the luscious grape, and
other vegetable luxuries more or less globular in
form.
No one had dedicated any verses to
Kalora. Kalora was the elder of the two.
She had come to the alarming age of nineteen and no
one had started in bidding for her.
In court circles, where there is much
time for idle gossip, the most intimate secrets of
an important household are often bandied about when
the black coffee is being served. The marriageable
young men of Morovenia had learned of the calamity
in Count Malagaski’s family. They knew
that Kalora weighed less than one hundred and twenty
pounds. She was tall, lithe, slender, sinuous,
willowy, hideous. The fact that poor old Count
Malagaski had made many unsuccessful attempts to fatten
her was a stock subject for jokes of an unrefined
and Turkish character.
Whereas Jeneka would recline for hours
at a time on a shaded veranda, munching sugary confections
that were loaded with nutritious nuts, Kalora showed
a far-western preference for pickles and olives, and
had been detected several times in the act of bribing
servants to bring this contraband food into the harem.
Worse still, she insisted upon taking
exercise. She loved to play romping games within
the high walls of the inclosure where she and the
other female attaches of the royal household were kept
penned up. Her father coaxed, pleaded and even
threatened, but she refused to lead the indolent life
prescribed by custom; she scorned the sweet and heavy
foods which would enable her to expand into loveliness;
she persistently declined to be fat.
Kalora’s education was being
directed by a superannuated professor named Popova.
He was so antique and book-wormy that none of the usual
objections urged against the male sex seemed to hold
good in his case, and he had the free run of the palace.
Count Selim Malagaski trusted him implicitly.
Popova fawned upon the Governor-General, and seemed
slavish in his devotion. Secretly and stealthily
he was working out a frightful vengeance upon his
patron. Twenty years before, Count Selim, in
a moment of anger, had called Popova a “Christian
dog.”
In Morovenia it is flattery to call
a man a “liar.” It is just the same
as saying to him, “You belong in the diplomatic
corps.” It is no disgrace to be branded
as a thief, because all business transactions are
saturated with treachery. But to call another
a “Christian dog” is the thirty-third
degree of insult.
Popova writhed in spirit when he was
called “Christian,” but he covered his
wrath and remained in the nobleman’s service
and waited for his revenge. And now he was sacrificing
the innocent Kalora in order to punish the father.
He said to himself: “If she does not fatten,
then her father’s heart will be broken, and
he will suffer even as I have suffered from being
called Christian.”
It was Popova who, by guarded methods,
encouraged her to violent exercise, whereby she became
as hard and trim as an antelope. He continued
to supply her with all kinds of sour and biting foods
and sharp mineral waters, which are the sworn enemies
of any sebaceous condition. And now that she
was nineteen, almost at the further boundary of the
marrying age, and slimmer than ever before, he rejoiced
greatly, for he had accomplished his deep and malign
purpose, and laid a heavy burden of sorrow upon Count
Selim Malagaski.