This man contrives a secret ’twixt
us two,
That he may quell me with his meeting
eyes
Like one who quells a lioness at bay.
This was the letter Gwendolen found on her table:
Dearest child. I
have been expecting to hear from you for a week.
In your last you said the Langens thought of leaving
Leubronn and going to Baden. How could you
be so thoughtless as to leave me in uncertainty
about your address? I am in the greatest anxiety
lest this should not reach you. In any case,
you were to come home at the end of September,
and I must now entreat you to return as quickly as
possible, for if you spent all your money it would
be out of my power to send you any more, and you
must not borrow of the Langens, for I could not
repay them. This is the sad truth, my child I
wish I could prepare you for it better but
a dreadful calamity has befallen us all.
You know nothing about business and will not understand
it; but Grapnell & Co. have failed for a million,
and we are totally ruined your aunt
Gascoigne as well as I, only that your uncle has his
benefice, so that by putting down their carriage
and getting interest for the boys, the family
can go on. All the property our poor father saved
for us goes to pay the liabilities. There is nothing
I can call my own. It is better you should
know this at once, though it rends my heart to
have to tell it you. Of course we cannot help
thinking what a pity it was that you went away
just when you did. But I shall never reproach
you, my dear child; I would save you from all trouble
if I could. On your way home you will have
time to prepare yourself for the change you will
find. We shall perhaps leave Offendene at once,
for we hope that Mr. Haynes, who wanted it before,
may be ready to take it off my hands. Of
course we cannot go to the rectory there
is not a corner there to spare. We must get
some hut or other to shelter us, and we must live
on your uncle Gascoigne’s charity, until I see
what else can be done. I shall not be able
to pay the debts to the tradesmen besides the
servants’ wages. Summon up your fortitude,
my dear child; we must resign ourselves to God’s
will. But it is hard to resign one’s
self to Mr. Lassman’s wicked recklessness, which
they say was the cause of the failure. Your
poor sisters can only cry with me and give me
no help. If you were once here, there might be
a break in the cloud I always feel
it impossible that you can have been meant for
poverty. If the Langens wish to remain abroad,
perhaps you can put yourself under some one else’s
care for the journey. But come as soon as
you can to your afflicted and loving mamma,
Fanny Davilow.
The first effect of this letter on
Gwendolen was half-stupefying. The implicit confidence
that her destiny must be one of luxurious ease, where
any trouble that occurred would be well clad and provided
for, had been stronger in her own mind than in her
mamma’s, being fed there by her youthful blood
and that sense of superior claims which made a large
part of her consciousness. It was almost as difficult
for her to believe suddenly that her position had
become one of poverty and of humiliating dependence,
as it would have been to get into the strong current
of her blooming life the chill sense that her death
would really come. She stood motionless for a
few minutes, then tossed off her hat and automatically
looked in the glass. The coils of her smooth
light-brown hair were still in order perfect enough
for a ball-room; and as on other nights, Gwendolen
might have looked lingeringly at herself for pleasure
(surely an allowable indulgence); but now she took
no conscious note of her reflected beauty, and simply
stared right before her as if she had been jarred
by a hateful sound and was waiting for any sign of
its cause. By-and-by she threw herself in the
corner of the red velvet sofa, took up the letter
again and read it twice deliberately, letting it at
last fall on the ground, while she rested her clasped
hands on her lap and sat perfectly still, shedding
no tears. Her impulse was to survey and resist
the situation rather than to wail over it. There
was no inward exclamation of “Poor mamma!”
Her mamma had never seemed to get much enjoyment out
of life, and if Gwendolen had been at this moment
disposed to feel pity she would have bestowed it on
herself for was she not naturally and rightfully
the chief object of her mamma’s anxiety too?
But it was anger, it was resistance that possessed
her; it was bitter vexation that she had lost her
gains at roulette, whereas if her luck had continued
through this one day she would have had a handsome
sum to carry home, or she might have gone on playing
and won enough to support them all. Even now was
it not possible? She had only four napoléons
left in her purse, but she possessed some ornaments
which she could sell: a practice so common in
stylish society at German baths that there was no need
to be ashamed of it; and even if she had not received
her mamma’s letter, she would probably have
decided to get money for an Etruscan necklace which
she happened not to have been wearing since her arrival;
nay, she might have done so with an agreeable sense
that she was living with some intensity and escaping
humdrum. With ten louis at her disposal and
a return of her former luck, which seemed probable,
what could she do better than go on playing for a
few days? If her friends at home disapproved
of the way in which she got the money, as they certainly
would, still the money would be there. Gwendolen’s
imagination dwelt on this course and created agreeable
consequences, but not with unbroken confidence and
rising certainty as it would have done if she had been
touched with the gambler’s mania. She had
gone to the roulette-table not because of passion,
but in search of it: her mind was still sanely
capable of picturing balanced probabilities, and while
the chance of winning allured her, the chance of losing
thrust itself on her with alternate strength and made
a vision from which her pride sank sensitively.
For she was resolved not to tell the Langens that any
misfortune had befallen her family, or to make herself
in any way indebted to their compassion; and if she
were to part with her jewelry to any observable extent,
they would interfere by inquiries and remonstrances.
The course that held the least risk of intolerable
annoyance was to raise money on her necklace early
in the morning, tell the Langens that her mother desired
her immediate return without giving a reason, and
take the train for Brussels that evening. She
had no maid with her, and the Langens might make difficulties
about her returning home, but her will was peremptory.
Instead of going to bed she made as
brilliant a light as she could and began to pack,
working diligently, though all the while visited by
the scenes that might take place on the coming day now
by the tiresome explanations and farewells, and the
whirling journey toward a changed home, now by the
alternative of staying just another day and standing
again at the roulette-table. But always in this
latter scene there was the presence of that Deronda,
watching her with exasperating irony, and the
two keen experiences were inevitably revived together beholding
her again forsaken by luck. This importunate image
certainly helped to sway her resolve on the side of
immediate departure, and to urge her packing to the
point which would make a change of mind inconvenient.
It had struck twelve when she came into her room,
and by the time she was assuring herself that she had
left out only what was necessary, the faint dawn was
stealing through the white blinds and dulling her
candles. What was the use of going to bed?
Her cold bath was refreshment enough, and she saw that
a slight trace of fatigue about the eyes only made
her look the more interesting. Before six o’clock
she was completely equipped in her gray traveling
dress even to her felt hat, for she meant to walk out
as soon as she could count on seeing other ladies
on their way to the springs. And happening to
be seated sideways before the long strip of mirror
between her two windows she turned to look at herself,
leaning her elbow on the back of the chair in an attitude
that might have been chosen for her portrait.
It is possible to have a strong self-love without any
self-satisfaction, rather with a self-discontent which
is the more intense because one’s own little
core of egoistic sensibility is a supreme care; but
Gwendolen knew nothing of such inward strife.
She had a naïve delight in her fortunate self,
which any but the harshest saintliness will have some
indulgence for in a girl who had every day seen a
pleasant reflection of that self in her friends’
flattery as well as in the looking-glass. And
even in this beginning of troubles, while for lack
of anything else to do she sat gazing at her image
in the growing light, her face gathered a complacency
gradual as the cheerfulness of the morning. Her
beautiful lips curled into a more and more decided
smile, till at last she took off her hat, leaned forward
and kissed the cold glass which had looked so warm.
How could she believe in sorrow? If it attacked
her, she felt the force to crush it, to defy it, or
run away from it, as she had done already. Anything
seemed more possible than that she could go on bearing
miseries, great or small.
Madame von Langen never went out before
breakfast, so that Gwendolen could safely end her
early walk by taking her way homeward through the
Obère Straße in which was the needed shop,
sure to be open after seven. At that hour any
observers whom she minded would be either on their
walks in the region of the springs, or would be still
in their bedrooms; but certainly there was one grand
hotel, the Czarina from which eyes might follow
her up to Mr. Wiener’s door. This was a
chance to be risked: might she not be going in
to buy something which had struck her fancy?
This implicit falsehood passed through her mind as
she remembered that the Czarina was Deronda’s
hotel; but she was then already far up the Obère
Straße, and she walked on with her usual floating
movement, every line in her figure and drapery falling
in gentle curves attractive to all eyes except those
which discerned in them too close a resemblance to
the serpent, and objected to the revival of serpent-worship.
She looked neither to the right hand nor to the left,
and transacted her business in the shop with a coolness
which gave little Mr. Weiner nothing to remark except
her proud grace of manner, and the superior size and
quality of the three central turquoises in the
necklace she offered him. They had belonged to
a chain once her father’s: but she had
never known her father; and the necklace was in all
respects the ornament she could most conveniently
part with. Who supposes that it is an impossible
contradiction to be superstitious and rationalizing
at the same time? Roulette encourages a romantic
superstition as to the chances of the game, and the
most prosaic rationalism as to human sentiments which
stand in the way of raising needful money. Gwendolen’s
dominant regret was that after all she had only nine
louis to add to the four in her purse: these
Jew dealers were so unscrupulous in taking advantage
of Christians unfortunate at play! But she was
the Langens’ guest in their hired apartment,
and had nothing to pay there: thirteen louis
would do more than take her home; even if she determined
on risking three, the remaining ten would more than
suffice, since she meant to travel right on, day and
night. As she turned homeward, nay, entered and
seated herself in the salon to await her friends
and breakfast, she still wavered as to her immediate
departure, or rather she had concluded to tell the
Langens simply that she had had a letter from her mamma
desiring her return, and to leave it still undecided
when she should start. It was already the usual
breakfast-time, and hearing some one enter as she
was leaning back rather tired and hungry with her eyes
shut, she rose expecting to see one or other of the
Langens the words which might determine
her lingering at least another day, ready-formed to
pass her lips. But it was the servant bringing
in a small packet for Miss Harleth, which had at that
moment been left at the door. Gwendolen took
it in her hand and immediately hurried into her own
room. She looked paler and more agitated than
when she had first read her mamma’s letter.
Something she never quite knew what revealed
to her before she opened the packet that it contained
the necklace she had just parted with. Underneath
the paper it was wrapped in a cambric handkerchief,
and within this was a scrap of torn-off note-paper,
on which was written with a pencil, in clear but rapid
handwriting “A stranger who has
found Miss Harleth’s necklace returns it to her
with the hope that she will not again risk the loss
of it.”
Gwendolen reddened with the vexation
of wounded pride. A large corner of the handkerchief
seemed to have been recklessly torn off to get rid
of a mark; but she at once believed in the first image
of “the stranger” that presented itself
to her mind. It was Deronda; he must have seen
her go into the shop; he must have gone in immediately
after and repurchased the necklace. He had taken
an unpardonable liberty, and had dared to place her
in a thoroughly hateful position. What could she
do? Not, assuredly, act on her conviction
that it was he who had sent her the necklace and straightway
send it back to him: that would be to face the
possibility that she had been mistaken; nay, even if
the “stranger” were he and no other, it
would be something too gross for her to let him know
that she had divined this, and to meet him again with
that recognition in their minds. He knew very
well that he was entangling her in helpless humiliation:
it was another way of smiling at her ironically, and
taking the air of a supercilious mentor. Gwendolen
felt the bitter tears of mortification rising and rolling
down her cheeks. No one had ever before dared
to treat her with irony and contempt. One thing
was clear: she must carry out her resolution to
quit this place at once; it was impossible for her
to reappear in the public salon, still less
stand at the gaming-table with the risk of seeing
Deronda. Now came an importunate knock at the
door: breakfast was ready. Gwendolen with
a passionate movement thrust necklace, cambric, scrap
of paper, and all into her nécessaire, pressed
her handkerchief against her face, and after pausing
a minute or two to summon back her proud self-control,
went to join her friends. Such signs of tears
and fatigue as were left seemed accordant enough with
the account she at once gave of her having sat up to
do her packing, instead of waiting for help from her
friend’s maid. There was much protestation,
as she had expected, against her traveling alone, but
she persisted in refusing any arrangements for companionship.
She would be put into the ladies’ compartment
and go right on. She could rest exceedingly well
in the train, and was afraid of nothing.
In this way it happened that Gwendolen
never reappeared at the roulette-table, but that Thursday
evening left Leubronn for Brussels, and on Saturday
morning arrived at Offendene, the home to which she
and her family were soon to say a last good-bye.