Desire has trimmed the sails, and Circumstance
Brings but the breeze to fill them.
While Grandcourt on his beautiful
black Yarico, the groom behind him on Criterion, was
taking the pleasant ride from Diplow to Offendene,
Gwendolen was seated before the mirror while her mother
gathered up the lengthy mass of light-brown hair which
she had been carefully brushing.
“Only gather it up easily and
make a coil, mamma,” said Gwendolen.
“Let me bring you some ear-rings,
Gwen,” said Mrs. Davilow, when the hair was
adjusted, and they were both looking at the reflection
in the glass. It was impossible for them not
to notice that the eyes looked brighter than they
had done of late, that there seemed to be a shadow
lifted from the face, leaving all the lines once more
in their placid youthfulness. The mother drew
some inference that made her voice rather cheerful.
“You do want your earrings?”
“No, mamma; I shall not wear
any ornaments, and I shall put on my black silk.
Black is the only wear when one is going to refuse
an offer,” said Gwendolen, with one of her old
smiles at her mother, while she rose to throw off
her dressing-gown.
“Suppose the offer is not made
after all,” said Mrs. Davilow, not without a
sly intention.
“Then that will be because I
refuse it beforehand,” said Gwendolen. “It
comes to the same thing.”
There was a proud little toss of the
head as she said this; and when she walked down-stairs
in her long black robes, there was just that firm
poise of head and elasticity of form which had lately
been missing, as in a parched plant. Her mother
thought, “She is quite herself again. It
must be pleasure in his coming. Can her mind be
really made up against him?”
Gwendolen would have been rather angry
if that thought had been uttered; perhaps all the
more because through the last twenty hours, with a
brief interruption of sleep, she had been so occupied
with perpetually alternating images and arguments
for and against the possibility of her marrying Grandcourt,
that the conclusion which she had determined on beforehand
ceased to have any hold on her consciousness:
the alternate dip of counterbalancing thoughts begotten
of counterbalancing desires had brought her into a
state in which no conclusion could look fixed to her.
She would have expressed her resolve as before; but
it was a form out of which the blood had been sucked no
more a part of quivering life than the “God’s
will be done” of one who is eagerly watching
chances. She did not mean to accept Grandcourt;
from the first moment of receiving his letter she had
meant to refuse him; still, that could not but prompt
her to look the unwelcome reasons full in the face
until she had a little less awe of them, could not
hinder her imagination from filling out her knowledge
in various ways, some of which seemed to change the
aspect of what she knew. By dint of looking at
a dubious object with a constructive imagination,
who can give it twenty different shapes. Her indistinct
grounds of hesitation before the interview at the Whispering
Stones, at present counted for nothing; they were
all merged in the final repulsion. If it had
not been for that day in Cardell Chase, she said to
herself now, there would have been no obstacle to her
marrying Grandcourt. On that day and after it,
she had not reasoned and balanced; she had acted with
a force of impulse against which all questioning was
no more than a voice against a torrent. The impulse
had come not only from her maidenly pride
and jealousy, not only from the shock of another woman’s
calamity thrust close on her vision, but from
her dread of wrong-doing, which was vague, it was true,
and aloof from the daily details of her life, but
not the less strong. Whatever was accepted as
consistent with being a lady she had no scruple about;
but from the dim region of what was called disgraceful,
wrong, guilty, she shrunk with mingled pride and terror;
and even apart from shame, her feeling would have
made her place any deliberate injury of another in
the region of guilt.
But now did she know exactly
what was the state of the case with regard to Mrs.
Glasher and her children? She had given a sort
of promise had said, “I will not
interfere with your wishes.” But would
another woman who married Grandcourt be in fact the
decisive obstacle to her wishes, or be doing her and
her boy any real injury? Might it not be just
as well, nay better, that Grandcourt should marry?
For what could not a woman do when she was married,
if she knew how to assert herself? Here all was
constructive imagination. Gwendolen had about
as accurate a conception of marriage that
is to say, of the mutual influences, demands, duties
of man and woman in the state of matrimony as
she had of magnetic currents and the law of storms.
“Mamma managed baldly,”
was her way of summing up what she had seen of her
mother’s experience: she herself would manage
quite differently. And the trials of matrimony
were the last theme into which Mrs. Davilow could
choose to enter fully with this daughter.
“I wonder what mamma and my
uncle would say if they knew about Mrs. Glasher!”
thought Gwendolen in her inward debating; not that
she could imagine herself telling them, even if she
had not felt bound to silence. “I wonder
what anybody would say; or what they would say to
Mr. Grandcourt’s marrying some one else and having
other children!” To consider what “anybody”
would say, was to be released from the difficulty
of judging where everything was obscure to her when
feeling had ceased to be decisive. She had only
to collect her memories, which proved to her that
“anybody” regarded the illegitimate children
as more rightfully to be looked shy on and deprived
of social advantages than illegitimate fathers.
The verdict of “anybody” seemed to be that
she had no reason to concern herself greatly on behalf
of Mrs. Glasher and her children.
But there was another way in which
they had caused her concern. What others might
think, could not do away with a feeling which in the
first instance would hardly be too strongly described
as indignation and loathing that she should have been
expected to unite herself with an outworn life, full
of backward secrets which must have been more keenly
felt than any association with her. True,
the question of love on her own part had occupied
her scarcely at all in relation to Grandcourt.
The desirability of marriage for her had always seemed
due to other feeling than love; and to be enamored
was the part of the man, on whom the advances depended.
Gwendolen had found no objection to Grandcourt’s
way of being enamored before she had had that glimpse
of his past, which she resented as if it had been
a deliberate offense against her. His advances
to her were deliberate, and she felt a retrospective
disgust for them. Perhaps other men’s lives
were of the same kind full of secrets which
made the ignorant suppositions of the women they wanted
to marry a farce at which they were laughing in their
sleeves.
These feelings of disgust and indignation
had sunk deep; and though other troublous experience
in the last weeks had dulled them from passion into
remembrance, it was chiefly their reverberating activity
which kept her firm to the understanding with herself,
that she was not going to accept Grandcourt.
She had never meant to form a new determination; she
had only been considering what might be thought or
said. If anything could have induced her to change,
it would have been the prospect of making all things
easy for “poor mamma:” that, she
admitted, was a temptation. But no! she was going
to refuse him. Meanwhile, the thought that he
was coming to be refused was inspiriting: she
had the white reins in her hands again; there was a
new current in her frame, reviving her from the beaten-down
consciousness in which she had been left by the interview
with Klesmer. She was not now going to crave
an opinion of her capabilities; she was going to exercise
her power.
Was this what made her heart palpitate
annoyingly when she heard the horse’s footsteps
on the gravel? when Miss Merry, who opened
the door to Grandcourt, came to tell her that he was
in the drawing-room? The hours of preparation
and the triumph of the situation were apparently of
no use: she might as well have seen Grandcourt
coming suddenly on her in the midst of her despondency.
While walking into the drawing-room, she had to concentrate
all her energy in that self-control, which made her
appear gravely gracious as she gave her
hand to him, and answered his hope that she was quite
well in a voice as low and languid as his own.
A moment afterward, when they were both of them seated
on two of the wreath-painted chairs Gwendolen
upright with downcast eyelids, Grandcourt about two
yards distant, leaning one arm over the back of his
chair and looking at her, while he held his hat in
his left hand any one seeing them as a picture
would have concluded that they were in some stage
of love-making suspense. And certainly the love-making
had begun: she already felt herself being wooed
by this silent man seated at an agreeable distance,
with the subtlest atmosphere of attar of roses and
an attention bent wholly on her. And he also
considered himself to be wooing: he was not a
man to suppose that his presence carried no consequences;
and he was exactly the man to feel the utmost piquancy
in a girl whom he had not found quite calculable.
“I was disappointed not to find
you at Leubronn,” he began, his usual broken
drawl having just a shade of amorous languor in it.
“The place was intolerable without you.
A mere kennel of a place. Don’t you think
so?”
“I can’t judge what it
would be without myself,” said Gwendolen, turning
her eyes on him, with some recovered sense of mischief.
“With myself I like it well enough to
have stayed longer, if I could. But I was obliged
to come home on account of family troubles.”
“It was very cruel of you to
go to Leubronn,” said Grandcourt, taking no
notice of the troubles, on which Gwendolen she
hardly knew why wished that there should
be a clear understanding at once. “You
must have known that it would spoil everything:
you knew you were the heart and soul of everything
that went on. Are you quite reckless about me?”
It would be impossible to say “yes”
in a tone that would be taken seriously; equally impossible
to say “no;” but what else could she say?
In her difficulty, she turned down her eyelids again
and blushed over face and neck. Grandcourt saw
her in a new phase, and believed that she was showing
her inclination. But he was determined that she
should show it more decidedly.
“Perhaps there is some deeper
interest? Some attraction some engagement which
it would have been only fair to make me aware of?
Is there any man who stands between us?”
Inwardly the answer framed itself.
“No; but there is a woman.” Yet how
could she utter this? Even if she had not promised
that woman to be silent, it would have been impossible
for her to enter on the subject with Grandcourt.
But how could she arrest his wooing by beginning to
make a formal speech “I perceive your
intention it is most flattering, etc.”?
A fish honestly invited to come and be eaten has a
clear course in declining, but how if it finds itself
swimming against a net? And apart from the network,
would she have dared at once to say anything decisive?
Gwendolen had not time to be clear on that point.
As it was, she felt compelled to silence, and after
a pause, Grandcourt said
“Am I to understand that some one else is preferred?”
Gwendolen, now impatient of her own
embarrassment, determined to rush at the difficulty
and free herself. She raised her eyes again and
said with something of her former clearness and defiance,
“No” wishing him to understand,
“What then? I may not be ready to take you.”
There was nothing that Grandcourt could not understand
which he perceived likely to affect his amour propre.
“The last thing I would do,
is to importune you. I should not hope to win
you by making myself a bore. If there were no
hope for me, I would ask you to tell me so at once,
that I might just ride away to no matter
where.”
Almost to her own astonishment, Gwendolen
felt a sudden alarm at the image of Grandcourt finally
riding away. What would be left her then?
Nothing but the former dreariness. She liked him
to be there. She snatched at the subject that
would defer any decisive answer.
“I fear you are not aware of
what has happened to us. I have lately had to
think so much of my mamma’s troubles, that other
subjects have been quite thrown into the background.
She has lost all her fortune, and we are going to
leave this place. I must ask you to excuse my
seeming preoccupied.”
In eluding a direct appeal Gwendolen
recovered some of her self-possession. She spoke
with dignity and looked straight at Grandcourt, whose
long, narrow, impenetrable eyes met hers, and mysteriously
arrested them: mysteriously; for the subtly-varied
drama between man and woman is often such as can hardly
be rendered in words put together like dominoes, according
to obvious fixed marks. The word of all work,
Love, will no more express the myriad modes of mutual
attraction, than the word Thought can inform you what
is passing through your neighbor’s mind.
It would be hard to tell on which side Gwendolen’s
or Grandcourt’s the influence was
more mixed. At that moment his strongest wish
was to be completely master of this creature this
piquant combination of maidenliness and mischief:
that she knew things which had made her start away
from him, spurred him to triumph over that repugnance;
and he was believing that he should triumph.
And she ah, piteous equality in the need
to dominate! she was overcome like the
thirsty one who is drawn toward the seeming water
in the desert, overcome by the suffused sense that
here in this man’s homage to her lay the rescue
from helpless subjection to an oppressive lot.
All the while they were looking at
each other; and Grandcourt said, slowly and languidly,
as if it were of no importance, other things having
been settled
“You will tell me now, I hope,
that Mrs. Davilow’s loss of fortune will not
trouble you further. You will trust me to prevent
it from weighing upon her. You will give me the
claim to provide against that.”
The little pauses and refined drawlings
with which this speech was uttered, gave time for
Gwendolen to go through the dream of a life. As
the words penetrated her, they had the effect of a
draught of wine, which suddenly makes all things easier,
desirable things not so wrong, and people in general
less disagreeable. She had a momentary phantasmal
love for this man who chose his words so well, and
who was a mere incarnation of delicate homage.
Repugnance, dread, scruples these were
dim as remembered pains, while she was already tasting
relief under the immediate pain of hopelessness.
She imagined herself already springing to her mother,
and being playful again. Yet when Grandcourt had
ceased to speak, there was an instant in which she
was conscious of being at the turning of the ways.
“You are very generous,”
she said, not moving her eyes, and speaking with a
gentle intonation.
“You accept what will make such
things a matter of course?” said Grandcourt,
without any new eagerness. “You consent
to become my wife?”
This time Gwendolen remained quite
pale. Something made her rise from her seat in
spite of herself and walk to a little distance.
Then she turned and with her hands folded before her
stood in silence.
Grandcourt immediately rose too, resting
his hat on the chair, but still keeping hold of it.
The evident hesitation of this destitute girl to take
his splendid offer stung him into a keenness of interest
such as he had not known for years. None the
less because he attributed her hesitation entirely
to her knowledge about Mrs. Glasher. In that
attitude of preparation, he said
“Do you command me to go?”
No familiar spirit could have suggested to him more
effective words.
“No,” said Gwendolen.
She could not let him go: that negative was a
clutch. She seemed to herself to be, after all,
only drifted toward the tremendous decision but
drifting depends on something besides the currents
when the sails have been set beforehand.
“You accept my devotion?”
said Grandcourt, holding his hat by his side and looking
straight into her eyes, without other movement.
Their eyes meeting in that way seemed to allow any
length of pause: but wait as long as she would,
how could she contradict herself! What had she
detained him for? He had shut out any explanation.
“Yes,” came as gravely
from Gwendolen’s lips as if she had been answering
to her name in a court of justice. He received
it gravely, and they still looked at each other in
the same attitude. Was there ever such a way
before of accepting the bliss-giving “Yes”?
Grandcourt liked better to be at that distance from
her, and to feel under a ceremony imposed by an indefinable
prohibition that breathed from Gwendolen’s bearing.
But he did at length lay down his
hat and advance to take her hand, just pressing his
lips upon it and letting it go again. She thought
his behavior perfect, and gained a sense of freedom
which made her almost ready to be mischievous.
Her “Yes” entailed so little at this moment
that there was nothing to screen the reversal of her
gloomy prospects; her vision was filled by her own
release from the Momperts, and her mother’s
release from Sawyer’s Cottage. With a happy
curl of the lips, she said
“Will you not see mamma? I will fetch her.”
“Let us wait a little,”
said Grandcourt, in his favorite attitude, having
his left forefinger and thumb in his waist-coat pocket,
and with his right hand caressing his whisker, while
he stood near Gwendolen and looked at her not
unlike a gentleman who has a felicitous introduction
at an evening party.
“Have you anything else to say
to me,” said Gwendolen, playfully.
“Yes I know having
things said to you is a great bore,” said Grandcourt,
rather sympathetically.
“Not when they are things I like to hear.”
“Will it bother you to be asked how soon we
can be married?”
“I think it will, to-day,” said Gwendolen,
putting up her chin saucily.
“Not to-day, then, but to-morrow.
Think of it before I come to-morrow. In a fortnight or
three weeks as soon as possible.”
“Ah, you think you will be tired
of my company,” said Gwendolen. “I
notice when people are married the husband is not so
much with his wife as when they are engaged.
But perhaps I shall like that better, too.”
She laughed charmingly.
“You shall have whatever you like,” said
Grandcourt.
“And nothing that I don’t
like? please say that; because I think I
dislike what I don’t like more than I like what
I like,” said Gwendolen, finding herself in
the woman’s paradise, where all her nonsense
is adorable.
Grandcourt paused; these were subtilties
in which he had much experience of his own. “I
don’t know this is such a brute of
a world, things are always turning up that one doesn’t
like. I can’t always hinder your being
bored. If you like to ride Criterion, I can’t
hinder his coming down by some chance or other.”
“Ah, my friend Criterion, how is he?”
“He is outside: I made
the groom ride him, that you might see him. He
had the side-saddle on for an hour or two yesterday.
Come to the window and look at him.”
They could see the two horses being
taken slowly round the sweep, and the beautiful creatures,
in their fine grooming, sent a thrill of exultation
through Gwendolen. They were the symbols of command
and luxury, in delightful contrast with the ugliness
of poverty and humiliation at which she had lately
been looking close.
“Will you ride Criterion to-morrow?”
said Grandcourt. “If you will, everything
shall be arranged.”
“I should like it of all things,”
said Gwendolen. “I want to lose myself
in a gallop again. But now I must go and fetch
mamma.”
“Take my arm to the door, then,”
said Grandcourt, and she accepted. Their faces
were very near each other, being almost on a level,
and he was looking at her. She thought his manners
as a lover more agreeable than any she had seen described.
She had no alarm lest he meant to kiss her, and was
so much at her ease, that she suddenly paused in the
middle of the room and said half archly, half earnestly
“Oh, while I think of it there
is something I dislike that you can save me from.
I do not like Mr. Lush’s company.”
“You shall not have it. I’ll get
rid of him.”
“You are not fond of him yourself?”
“Not in the least. I let
him hang on me because he has always been a poor devil,”
said Grandcourt, in an adagio of utter indifference.
“They got him to travel with me when I was a
lad. He was always that coarse-haired kind of
brute sort of cross between a hog and a
dilettante.”
Gwendolen laughed. All that seemed
kind and natural enough: Grandcourt’s fastidiousness
enhanced the kindness. And when they reached
the door, his way of opening it for her was the perfection
of easy homage. Really, she thought, he was likely
to be the least disagreeable of husbands.
Mrs. Davilow was waiting anxiously
in her bed-room when Gwendolen entered, stepped toward
her quickly, and kissing her on both cheeks said in
a low tone, “Come down, mamma, and see Mr. Grandcourt.
I am engaged to him.”
“My darling child,” said
Mrs. Davilow, with a surprise that was rather solemn
than glad.
“Yes,” said Gwendolen,
in the same tone, and with a quickness which implied
that it was needless to ask questions. “Everything
is settled. You are not going to Sawyer’s
Cottage, I am not going to be inspected by Mrs. Mompert,
and everything is to be as I like. So come down
with me immediately.”