It was at Jerry’s request that
I stayed on at Horsham Manor, working as I could upon
my book, and now I think with a new knowledge of the
meaning of life as I had learned it through Jerry’s
failure. I discovered comfort in the words of
St. Paul, and prayed that out of spiritual death the
seed of a new life might germinate. Jerry had
told me nothing on leaving the Manor of his plans
or purposes, and I made no move to seek him out, aware
of a new confidence growing in me that wherever Jerry
was, whatever he was doing, no new harm would come
to him. He had found himself at last.
Upon the occasion of my infrequent
visits to the city I did myself the honor of calling
at the house in Washington Square, where I made the
acquaintance of a fair majority of the feminine Habberton
family, enjoying long chats with Una in which the
bonds of our friendship were still more firmly cemented.
She told me much of her work and of course we spoke
of Jerry, but if she had any news of him she gave no
sign of it, and I always left the house no wiser as
to his occupation or whereabouts than when I had entered
it. But in the early days of the following autumn
something in her manner, I cannot tell what, perhaps
the very quality of her content, advised me that she
was in some sort of communication with Jerry and that
she was no longer borrowing trouble in his behalf.
As I made my way back to the Manor in the train next
day, I found the conviction growing in my mind that
Jerry must be somewhere in New York. Una’s
orbit had not changed. Could it be that Jerry’s
was adapting itself to hers? Jack Ballard had
told me that Jerry had not been seen at the office
and that Ballard, Senior, had washed his hands of
him in despair, but had agreed to have large amounts
deposited at stated intervals in the bank. Of
course this proved nothing, for Jerry might have been
using his bank for a forwarding address, but the little
I knew fitted surprisingly well with my own guesses
as to Jerry’s destiny. Perhaps the wish
was father to the thought. At any rate, I returned
to the Manor and resumed my work with a singularly
tranquil mind, aware for the first time in months
of a quiet exhilaration which made the mere fact of
existence a delight. Perhaps after all I my
philosophy Jerry were still to
be vindicated!
It was not until the following summer
that I learned the truth. An item in the evening
paper caught my eye. It told of the wonderful
boys’ club that was being erected in Blank Street,
by an unknown philanthropist. The building was
six stories in height, covering half a block, and
was to contain a large gymnasium, a marble swimming
pool, an auditorium, school-rooms, drill hall for
the Boy Scout organization, clubrooms, billiard and
pool tables, and sleeping quarters for a small army.
The story was written in the form of an interview
with the representative of the philanthropist, a Mr.
John V. Gillespie, who was seeing personally to every
detail of the planning and construction. The
boys’ club had already been in existence for
a year, occupying hired quarters, also under the supervision
and control of the aforesaid Gillespie, who, it seemed,
had the destinies of the young males of the district
in which the building was situated, already in the
hollow of his hand. The unknown philanthropist
was Jerry, of course. I read between the lines,
the marble pool which Una had envied us, the gymnasium,
with “ropes to pull.” Jerry and Una
had frequently discussed the further needs of the
district and the prospective boys’ club, I knew,
was one of her hobbies and his.
As may be imagined not many hours
elapsed before I made a pilgrimage to the city and
visited the wonderful new structure, already under
roof, which was to house the heirs of Jerry’s
munificence. It was of truly splendid proportions
and already gave roughly the shape of its different
rooms, which in point of dimensions left nothing to
be desired. The operation would, I should think,
make short work of a million dollars and, with its
endowment, two million perhaps! Jerry was beginning
well.
I inquired of the superintendent for
Mr. Gillespie and was informed that that gentleman
could probably be found at the temporary building
in the adjoining street. Thither, therefore, I
went, sure that after so great a lapse of time Jerry
must pardon my interest and intrusion. I was
not surprised to discover that Mr. John V. Gillespie
was no less a person than Jerry himself, who was at
the moment of my arrival busily engaged with a Scoutmaster,
helping to teach the setting-up exercises. I
slipped into the room unobtrusively, a place at the
rear of the building a dance hall it had
once been, as I afterwards learned and
patched the youngsters going through their drill.
Jerry walked around among them, with a word here,
a touch on a shoulder there, while the boys struggled
manfully for perfection. Jerry was so interested
that he would not have seen me had I not risen as he
passed my way and offered my hand.
“Roger! By George!”
He clapped his arms around me at once and gave me
a bear hug.
“Good old Dry-as-dust!”
he cried, “I was wondering how soon you’d
find me out.”
“You’re not angry?”
“Bless your heart! I’ve
been thinking of writing you about everything, but
I wanted to wait until things were a little further
along.”
“But Jerry ”
“Mum’s the word,” he whispered.
“That’s not my name down here.”
“Yes, I know,” I smiled. “I’ve
seen it in the papers.”
“Oh! You saw that?
And guessed?” he grinned. Then gave some
word to the Scoutmaster and led me to his office a
small room beside the entrance at the front of the
building and closed the door. In this
better light I had the opportunity to examine him at
my leisure while he talked. He was a little thinner
in face and body, but not spare or lean. There
were no shadows in his eyes, which were finely lighted
by his new enthusiasm. The new fire had burned
out the old. He was splendid with happiness.
“Oh! You’ve no idea
of the fun I’m getting out of the thing, Roger.
It’s simply great! These boys are fine to
work with. They only need a chance. I’ve
got several hundred of ’em lined up already,
all nationalities ready for the melting-pot Jews,
Italians, Irish, all religions. I’ve got
the families lined up, too, been to see ’em all
personally. Rough lot, some of ’em and
dirty! Why, Roger, I never knew there was so
much filth in all the world. I’m starting
to clean up the boys, inside and out, getting them
jobs and keeping the idle ones off the streets.
Oh! It’s going to take time, but we’re
going to get there in the end. You’ve seen
the new building? Isn’t it a corker?
I haven’t been idle, have I?”
“But how on earth,” I
asked, “have you managed to preserve your anonymity?”
“Oh, I keep pretty dark.
I don’t go uptown at all. I made a visit
one night to Ballard Senior and made a clean breast
of things and at last he gave in. You see he
had given me up as an office possibility. In
three years, you know, I’ll come in to
all the money. In the meanwhile we’ve fixed
things up to provide for our immediate needs down
here.”
“Ours?” I queried
with a smile. He colored ever so slightly but
went on unperturbed.
“Yes, you know Una’s helping
me. I couldn’t have done a thing without
Una. Her experience in dealing with these people
has been simply invaluable. I thought ”
he stopped to laugh “I thought that
all I had to do was just to spend the money and everything
would work out all right. I made a lot of mistakes
with these families at first, did a lot of harm in
a way, offending the proud ones, spoiling the weak
ones and all that, but I’ve learned a lot since
I’ve been down here. We’ve devised
a plan a scientific one. It’s
really beautiful how it works. We’re going
to make these boys all self-supporting and give ’em
an education at the same time: manual training,
industrial art and science and all the rest of it.
Here! you must go over the building with me.
I’ve got just half an hour.”
He snatched up his cap and we went
around the corner, going over the building from cellar
to roof, Jerry explaining breathlessly and I listening,
wondering whether to be most astonished at the extraordinary
change in his mode of thought or at the initiative
which could have planned and executed so great a project.
He spoke of Una constantly, “Una wanted this,”
or “Una suggested that,” or “We had
an awful row over the location of this thing, but
Una was right.” And then as an afterthought,
“But then, she almost always is.”
He wanted to give her all the credit,
you see, and I think she must have deserved a great
deal, but I saw in the newborn Jerry enough to convince
me of his strength, intelligence and force. All
his personality and I had long known that
he had one had been poured into this fine
practical work which at every turn bore the impress
of a man’s force, plus a woman’s intelligence.
To the god from the machine (for as
such, in spite of many ungodlike illusions, I still
continued to regard myself) it seemed to me that all
was going beautifully toward the consummation of my
heart’s fondest desire. And it was not
until the following evening, when Jerry at last managed
to find a chance to have a long talk with me, that
I learned the truth.
It was a hot night in June. We
had climbed to the roof of the new building for a
breath of air, forsaking Jerry’s small bedroom
in the temporary quarters of the club where we had
both been perspiring profusely. We sat upon the
parapet smoking and talking of Jerry’s plans
and, since Una and the plans seemed to be a part of
each other, of Una.
“I see her constantly, Roger,”
he said joyously. “We have regular meetings
three times a week, sometimes at the Mission and
sometimes at the club, and when there isn’t
enough daytime up in Washington Square.
She has a wonderful mind for detail carries
everything in her head figures, everything.”
“And you’re happy?” I asked.
“Need you ask?” he laughed.
“I’ve never known what life was before.
It’s great just to live and see things, good,
useful things grow under your very eyes, so personal
when you’ve planned ’em yourself.”
“And Una?”
“Oh, she’s happy too.
But then she’s always happy, always was.
It’s her nature. I sometimes think she
works a little too hard for her strength, but she
never complains.” He paused and looked down
the side street to where the East River gleamed palely
in the dusk night. “You know, Roger, I
sometimes wish that she would complain.
She just goes along, quietly planning doing,
without any fuss, accomplishing things where I fume
and fret and get angry. She puts me to shame.
She’s a wonder an angel, Roger.”
He smiled. “And yet she’s human enough,
always poking fun at a fellow, you know. I’m
no match for her; I never was or will be.”
He grew quiet and neither of us spoke for a long while.
We felt the life of the City stirring under us, but
overhead were the stars, the same stars that hung
above the peace of Horsham Manor, where in the old
days we had dreamed our dreams.
“You care for her?” I ventured softly
at last.
He did not speak at once. His gaze was afar.
“Care for her?” he murmured
after awhile, “God help me! I love her
with all the best of me, Roger. I always have
loved her. It’s so strange to me now that
I never knew it before so strange and pitiful now
when it is too late.”
“Too late, boy?” I said
with a smile. “Life for you, for you both,
is just beginning.”
“No, Roger; I would give everything
in the world to be able to go to her and ask her to
marry me. But I can’t ”
his voice sank and broke, “after that.
I’m a beast unclean.”
He rose and took a pace away from
me. “We mustn’t speak of that again.
It makes me think of what I owe to the other.”
“You owe her nothing. She
has refused you. She doesn’t care.
Her whole life avows it. She has forgotten.
Why shouldn’t you?”
“I can’t forget.
And I can’t look in Una’s eyes, Roger.
They’re so clear, so trusting; she believes
in me utterly. It’s a mockery,
to have her near me so much and not be able to tell
her ”
“Tell her!” I broke in
as he paused, “Waste no time. Tell her that
you love her. Don’t be a fool. She
loves you. She always has. I know it.”
He turned quickly, caught me by the
shoulders and peered closely into my face. “You
think so, Roger? Do you?” he said.
“I’m sure of it; from the very first.”
Slowly his hands relaxed and he turned
away. “No I can’t.
I would have to tell her all. I owe her that.
She would despise me.”
“You might at least give her
that opportunity,” I suggested dryly.
“No,” he said softly.
“I wouldn’t dare. It would make a
terrible difference between us. I couldn’t.”
And then his hand grasping my arm
as he pushed me toward the stairway, “Never
speak of this again, Roger do you hear?
Never.” I nodded and said no more, for
he had set me to thinking deeply, and I walked all
the way uptown to my hotel turning the matter over
in my mind, arriving, before sleep came, at a decision.
In the morning at half-past seven
I dared to call Una upon the telephone. I knew
her habits and she answered at once, agreeing to give
me an hour before she went down town. When I reached
the Habberton house she was ready for the street,
and when I told her that I had something of importance
to talk about, led the way over into the square where
we found a deserted bench in a shady spot. It
was a joyous morning of flickering sunlight and a
pleasant commotion of hurrying people and moving traffic
was all about us, in the midst of which we seemed
unusually isolated. As I have related, there was
a warm friendship between us. The girl knew that
her mission at the Manor during Jerry’s darkest
hour had been an open book to me, but the fact that
I knew that she had failed in it had made for no loss
of pride. She knew too, I am sure, that I was
aware of the real nature of her feelings for Jerry,
but my own interest in and affection for them both
had given me privileges in her friendship possessed
not even by Jerry himself.
I wasted no words, though I chose
to be careful in my use of them. With some deliberation,
born of the difficulties of this second embassy, I
told her all that I knew of Jerry’s affair with
Marcia Van Wyck, beginning with the parts of it which
she knew, and leading by slow degrees to the moment
when Jerry had abandoned his guests at the Manor and
gone on his madman’s quest of vengeance through
the woods. I recalled to her the state of his
mind, the indubitable evidences of his innocence,
and then told of Jerry’s meeting with Marcia
and Lloyd by the spring in the pine wood. She
sat, leaning slightly forward, her gaze on the sunlit
arch, her finely-drawn profile clearly outlined against
the shadows of the bushes, saying nothing, listening
as though to a twice-told tale. I could not tell
all, but something in her calmness advised me that
she had already guessed. There was knowledge
in her eyes, not the hard knowledge one sees in the
eyes of the women of the streets, but knowledge tempered
with pity; wisdom tempered with charity for all sin,
even for Jerry’s. She did not speak for
a long while and by this token I think she wished
me to take her understanding for granted.
“Mr. Canby,” she said
at last softly. “I know something of the
world, more, I think, in a way than you do, and the
more I learn, the less I am inclined to judge.
But of all the women in the world with whom I come
in contact, the most dangerous, the most difficult
to help, is the hypocrite. When a woman is weak
one can pity. When she is defiant one can even
admire, but the hypocrite is beyond the pale.
She will fawn while her heart is untouched, she will
assent while her mind is eluding you. And the
worst hypocrite is the one who wears the mask of decency
over a filthy mind. She is diseased, a moral leper at
large to contaminate. Jerry was helpless from
the first. Oh, the pity of it!”
“It was my fault; mine is the
blame,” I muttered hoarsely.
“No,” she said, gently
putting her hand over mine. “I would not
have you relinquish your idyl even now. Jerry
is translated, but he is not changed. It is curious you
will think it strange but I cannot find
it in my heart to judge him. He has suffered much.
Perhaps, God knows, a man cannot grow to his full
stature except through knowledge of evil! Jerry
has grown. He is a man a man!”
Her eyes sparkled softly and my spirits rose.
“You care for him, Una? You can forgive
him?”
“I I care for him,” she murmured.
“You know I have, always.”
“Can you forgive him?”
I repeated. She remained silent and her gaze
which sought the distant buildings was troubled.
But I had gone too far to pause now.
“He worships you, Una,”
I blurted out. “He has told me. But
he cannot speak. He is unclean, he says.
Have pity on him, Una. Forgive him, forgive him ”
She turned toward me, her slate-blue
eyes brimming with moisture. And then with one
of those sudden transitions that were her greatest
mystery and charm, she rose and with a quick touch
of her fingers to mine, left me swiftly and in a moment
was gone.
I stood a moment bewildered.
Then I fingered in my pocket for Miss Gore’s
new address. That remarkable woman would discern
what Una’s conduct meant. Queer creatures,
women! But interesting, strangely interesting....