But Lord Kilcarney’s replies to these letters seldom consisted of more than a few well-chosen words, and he often allowed a week, and sometimes a fortnight, to elapse before answering at all.  Olive ­too vain and silly to understand the indifference with which she was treated ­whined and fretted less than might have been expected.  She spent a great deal of her time with Barnes, who fed her with scandal and flattery.  But a storm was about to break, and in August it was known, without any possibility of a doubt, that the Marquis was engaged to Violet Scully, and that their marriage was settled for the autumn.

And this marriage, and the passing of the Bill for the Prevention of Crime, were the two interests present in the mind of Irish landlordism during the summer of ’82.  Immediately the former event was publicly announced, every girl in Dublin ran to her writing desk to confirm to her friends and relatives the truth of the news which for the last two months she had so resolutely anticipated.  The famous Bertha, the terror of the debutantes, rushed to Brookfield, but she did not get there before the Brennans, and the result was a meeting of these families of girls in Mrs. Barton’s drawing-room.  Gladys was, however, the person chosen by God and herself to speak the wonderful words: 

‘Of course you have heard the news, Mrs. Barton?’

‘No,’ replied Mrs. Barton, a little nervously; ‘what is it?’

‘Oh yes, what is it?’ exclaimed Olive.  ‘Anyone going to be married?’

‘Yes.  Can you guess?’

‘No; tell me quick . . . no, do tell me.  Are you going to be married?’

Had Olive been suddenly dowered with the wit of Congreve she could not have contrived an answer that would have shielded her better from the dart that Gladys was preparing to hurl.  The girl winced; and divining the truth in a moment of inspiration, Mrs. Barton said: 

‘Ah!  I know; Lord Kilcarney is engaged to Violet Scully.’

The situation was almost saved, and would have been had Olive not been present.  She glanced at her mother in astonishment; and Gladys, fearing utter defeat, hurled her dart recklessly.

‘Yes,’ she exclaimed, ‘and their marriage is fixed for this autumn.’

’I don’t believe a word of it. . . .  You only say so because you think it will annoy me.’

’My dear Olive, how can it annoy you?  You know very well you refused him,’ said Mrs. Barton, risking the danger of contradiction.  ’Gladys is only telling us the news.’

’News, indeed; a pack of lies.  I know her well; and all because ­because she didn’t succeed in hooking the man she was after in the Shelbourne last year.  I’m not going to listen to her lies, if you are;’ and on these words Olive flaunted passionately out of the room.

‘So very sorry, really,’ exclaimed Zoe.  ’We really didn’t know . . . indeed we didn’t.  We couldn’t have known that ­that there was any reason why dear Olive wouldn’t like to hear that Lord Kilcarney was engaged to Violet.’

’Not at all, not at all.  I assure you that whatever question there may once have been, I give you my word, was broken off a long time ago; they did not suit each other at all,’ said Mrs. Barton.  Now that she was relieved of the presence of her young, the mother fought admirably.  But in a few minutes the enemy was reinforced by the arrival of the Hon. Miss Gores.

‘Oh, how do you do?  I am so glad to see you,’ said Mrs. Barton, the moment they entered the room.  ’Have you heard the news? all is definitely settled between the little Marquis and Violet.  We were all talking of it; I am so glad for her sake.  Of course it is very grand to be a marchioness, but I’m afraid she’ll find her coronet a poor substitute for her dinner.  You know what a state the property is in.  She has married a beggar.  The great thing after all, nowadays, is money.’

It would have been better perhaps not to have spoken of Lord Kilcarney’s mortgages, but the Marquis’s money embarrassments were the weak point in Violet’s marriage, but it would not be natural (supposing that Olive had herself refused Lord Kilcarney) for her not to speak of them.  So she prattled on gaily for nearly an hour, playing her part admirably, extricating herself from a difficult position and casting some doubt ­only a little, it is true, but a little was a gain on the story that Olive had been rejected.

As soon as her visitors left the room, and she went to the window to watch the carriages drive away and to consider how she might console her daughter ­persuade her, perhaps, that everything had happened for the best.

‘Oh, mamma,’ she said, rushing into the room, ’this is terrible; what shall we do ­what shall we do?’

‘What’s terrible, my beautiful darling?’

Olive looked through her languor and tears, and she answered petulantly: 

’Oh, you know very well I’m disgraced; he’s going to marry Violet, and I shall not be a marchioness after all.’

‘If my beautiful darling likes she can be a duchess,’ replied Mrs. Barton with a silvery laugh.

‘I don’t understand, mamma.’

’I mean that we aren’t entirely dependent on that wretched little Marquis with his encumbered property; if he were fool enough to let himself be entrapped by that designing little beast, Violet Scully, so much the worse for him; we shall get someone far grander than he.  It is never wise for a girl to settle herself off the first season she comes out.’

’It is all very well to say that now, but you made me break off with dear Edward, who was ever so nice, and loved me dearly.’

Mrs. Barton winced, but she answered almost immediately: 

’My dear, we shall get someone a great deal grander than that wretched Marquis.  There will be a whole crowd of English dukes and earls at the Castle next year; men who haven’t a mortgage on their property, and who will all fight for the hand of my beautiful Olive.  Mr. Harding, Alice’s friend, will put your portrait into one of the Society papers as the Galway beauty, and then next year you may be her Grace.’

‘And how will they do my portrait, mamma?’

’I think you look best, darling, with your hair done up on the top of your head, in the French fashion.’

‘Oh! do you think so?  You don’t like the way I have it done in now?’ said the girl; and, laughing, she ran to the glass to admire herself.  ‘Barnes said I looked sweet this morning;’ and five minutes after she was tossing her head nervously, declaring she was miserable, and often she burst out crying for no assignable cause.  Mrs. Barton consoled and flattered gaily; but the sweet placid countenance was sometimes a little troubled.  As the girls left the breakfast-room one morning she said, as if asking their advice: 

’I have just received an invitation from Dungory Castle; they are giving a tennis-party, and they want us to go to lunch.’

‘Oh! mamma, I don’t want to go,’ cried Olive.

‘And why, my dear?’

’Oh! because everybody knows about the Marquis, and I couldn’t bear their sneers; those Brennans and the Duffys are sure to be there.’

‘Bertha’s in Dublin,’ said Mrs. Barton, in an intonation of voice a little too expressive of relief.

’Gladys is just as bad; and then there’s that horrid Zoe.  Oh!  I couldn’t bear it.’

’It will look as if we were avoiding them; they will only talk the more.  I always think it is best to put a bold face on everything.’

’I couldn’t, I couldn’t.  I’m broken-hearted, that’s what I am.  I have nothing to do or to think of.’

There could be little doubt that the Ladies Cullen had got up the tennis-party so that they might have an opportunity of sneering at her, but Milord would keep them in check (it might be as well to tell him to threaten to put down the school if they did not keep a guard on their tongues), and if Olive would only put a bold face on it and captivate Sir Charles, this very disagreeable business might blow over.  Further than this Mrs. Barton’s thoughts did not travel, but they were clear and precise thoughts, and with much subtlety and insinuative force she applied herself to the task of overcoming her daughter’s weakness and strengthening her in this overthrow of vanity and self-love.  But to the tennis-party they must go.  Milord, too, was of opinion that they could not absent themselves, and he had doubtless been able to arrive at a very clear understanding with Lady Sarah and Lady Jane concerning the future of Protestantism in the parish, for on the day of the tennis-party no allusion was made to Lord Kilcarney’s visit to Brookfield; certain references to his marriage were, of course, inevitable, but it was only necessary to question Mr. Adair on his views concerning the new Coercion Act to secure for Mrs. Barton an almost complete immunity from feminine sarcasm.

‘I do not deny,’ said Mr. Adair, ’that the Crimes Bill will restore tranquillity, but I confess that I can regard no Government as satisfactory that can only govern by the sword.’

These sentiments being but only very partially appreciated by the rest of the company, the conversation came to an awkward pause, and Lady Jane said as she left the room: 

’I do not know a more able man on a county board than Mr. Adair.  He took honours at Trinity, and if he hasn’t done as much since as we expected, it is because he is too honourable, too conscientious, to ally himself to any particular party.’

‘That was always the way with Lord Dungory,’ suggested Mrs. Gould.

Lady Jane bit her lip, and continued, without taking notice of the interruption: 

’Now, I hope Mr. Adair will not write a pamphlet, or express himself too openly concerning the Crimes Act.  The question of the day is the organization of the Land Act, and I hear that Mr. Gladstone says it will be impossible to get on without Mr. Adair’s assistance.’

‘Every six months,’ said Mrs. Gould, ’it is given out that Gladstone cannot go on without him; but somehow Gladstone does manage to get on without him, and then we never hear any more about it.’

Lady Jane looked angry; and all wondered at Mrs. Gould’s want of tact, but at that moment the footman announced Messrs. Ryan and Lynch, and Alice asked if she might go up to see Cecilia.  More visitors arrived; the Brennans, the Duffys, the five Honourable Miss Gores, and the company adjourned to the tennis ground.  Mr. Lynch was anxious to have May for a partner, but she refused him somewhat pettishly, declaring at the same time that she had given up tennis, and would never touch a racquet again.  Her continuous silence and dejected appearance created some surprise, and her cheeks flushed with passion when her mother said she didn’t know what had come over May lately.  Then obeying an impulse, May rose to her feet, and leaving the tennis players she walked across the pleasure grounds.  Dungory Castle was surrounded by heavy woods and overtopping clumps of trees.  As the house was neared, these were filled in with high laurel hedges and masses of rhododendron, and an opening in the branches of some large beech-trees revealed a blue and beautiful aspect of the Clare mountains.

‘I wonder what May is angry about?’ Cecilia said to Alice as they watched the tennis playing from their window; ’suppose those horrid men are annoying her.’

‘I never saw her refuse to play tennis before,’ Alice replied demurely.  And ten minutes after, some subtle desire of which she was not very conscious led her through the shrubberies towards the place where she already expected to find May.  And dreaming of reconciliation, of a renewal of friendship, Alice walked through the green summer of the leaves, listening to the infinite twittering of the birds, and startled by the wood-pigeons that from time to time rose boisterously out of the high branches.  On a garden bench, leaning forward, her hands rested on her knees, May sat swinging her parasol from side to side, playing with the fallen leaves.  When she looked up, the sunlight fell full upon her face, and Alice saw that she was crying.  But affecting not to see the tears, she said, speaking rapidly: 

‘Oh, May dear, I have been looking for you.  The last time we ­’

But interrupted here by a choking sob, she found herself forced to say: 

‘My dear May, what is the matter?  Can I do anything for you?’

’Oh, no, no; only leave me; don’t question me.  I don’t want anyone’s help.’

The ungraciousness of the words was lost in the accent of grief with which they were spoken.

‘I assure you I don’t wish to be inquisitive,’ Alice replied sorrowfully, ’nor do I come to annoy you with good advice, but the last time we met we didn’t part good friends. . . .  I was merely anxious to assure you that I bore no ill-feeling, but, of course, if you ­’

‘Oh no, no,’ cried May; reaching and catching at Alice’s arm she pulled her down into the seat beside her; ’I am awfully sorry for my rudeness to you ­to you who are so good ­so good.  Oh, Alice dear, you will forgive me, will you not?’ and sobbing very helplessly, she threw herself into her friend’s arms.

‘Oh, of course I forgive you,’ cried Alice, deeply affected.  ’I had no right to lecture you in the way I did; but I meant it for the best, indeed I did.’

’I know you did, but I lost my temper.  Ah, if you knew how sorely I was tried you would forgive me.’

’I do forgive you, May dear; but tell me, cannot I help you now?  You know that you can confide in me, and I will do any thing in my power to help you.’

‘No one can help me now,’ said the girl sullenly.

Alice did not speak at once, but at the end of a long silence she said: 

‘Does Fred Scully love you no more?’

’I do not know whether he does or not; nor does it matter much.  He’s not in Ireland.  He’s far away by this time.’

‘Where is he?’

’He’s gone to Australia.  He wrote to me about two months ago to say that all had been decided in a few hours, and that he was to sail next morning.  He’s gone out with some racehorses, and expects to win a lot of money.  He’ll be back again in a year.’

‘A year isn’t long to wait; you’ll see him when he comes back.’

’I don’t think I should care to see him again.  Oh, you were right, Alice, to warn me against him.  I was foolish not to listen to you, but it was too late even then.’

Alice trembled; she had already guessed the truth, but hoping when she knew all hope was vain, she said: 

‘You had better tell me, May; you know I am to be trusted.’

‘Can’t you guess it?’

The conversation fell, and the girls sat staring into the depths of the wood.  Involuntarily their eyes followed a small bird that ran up branch after branch of a beech-tree, pecking as it went.  It seemed like a toy mouse, so quick and unvarying were its movements.  At last May said, and very dolorously: 

’Alice, I thought you were kinder; haven’t you a word of pity?  Why tell you, why ask me to tell you?  Oh! what a fool I was!’

’Oh! no, no, May, you did right to tell me.  I am more sorry for you than words can express, and I didn’t speak because I was trying to think of some way of helping you.’

’Oh! there’s no ­no way of helping me, dear.  There’s nothing for me to do but to die.’  And now giving way utterly, the girl buried her face in her hands and sobbed until it seemed that she would choke in thick grief.

’Oh!  May, May dear, you mustn’t cry like that:  if anyone were to come by, what would they think?’

’What does it matter?  Everyone will know sooner or later ­I wish I were dead ­dead and out of sight for ever of this miserable world.’

‘No, May,’ said Alice, thinking instinctively of the child, ’you mustn’t die.  Your trial is a terrible one, but people before now have got over worse.  I am trying to think what can be done.’

Then May raised her weeping face, and there was a light of hope in her eyes.  She clasped Alice’s hand.  Neither spoke.  The little brown bird pursued his way up and down the branches of the beech; beyond it lay the sky, and the girls, tense with little sufferings, yearned into this vision of beautiful peace.

At last Alice said:  ’Did you tell Mr. Scully of the trouble?  Does he know ­’

’He was away, and I didn’t like to write it to him; his departure for Australia took me quite by surprise.’

‘Have you told your mother?’

’Oh no, I’d rather die than tell her; I couldn’t tell her.  You know what she is.’

‘I think she ought to be told; she would take you abroad.’

’Oh no, Alice dear; it would never do to tell mamma.  You know what she is, you know how she talks, she would never leave off abusing the Scullys; and then, I don’t know how, but somehow everybody would get to know about it.  But find it out they will, sooner or later; it is only a question of time.’

’No, no, May, they shall know nothing of this ­at least, not if I can help it.’

‘But you can’t help it.’

’There is one thing quite certain; you must go away.  You cannot stop in Galway.’

’It is all very well talking like that, but where can I go to?  A girl cannot move a yard away from home without people wanting to know where she has gone.’

Alice’s eyes filled with tears.

‘You might go up to Dublin,’ she said, ‘and live in lodgings.’

‘And what excuse should I give to mother?’ said May, who in her despair had not courage to deny the possibility of the plan.

‘You needn’t tell her where you are,’ replied Alice; and then she hesitated, feeling keenly conscious of the deception she was practising.  But her unswerving common sense coming, after a moment’s reflection, to her aid, she said:  ’You might say that you were going to live in the convent.  Go to the Mother Superior, tell her of your need, beg of her, persuade her to receive and forward your letters; and in that way, it seems to me that no one need be the wiser of what is going to happen.’

The last words were spoken slowly, as if with a sense of shame at being forced to speak thus.  May raised her face, now aflame with hope and joy.

‘I wonder if it is possible to ­’ A moment after the light died out of her face, and she said: 

’But how shall I live?  Who will support me?  I cannot ask mother for money without awakening suspicion.’

’I think, May, I shall be able to give you almost all the money you want,’ replied Alice in a hesitating and slightly embarrassed manner.

‘You, Alice?’

’But I haven’t told you; I have been writing a good deal lately for newspapers, and have made nearly twenty pounds.  That will be all you will want for the present, and I shall be able, I hope, to make sufficient to keep you supplied.’

’I don’t think that anyone was ever as good as you, Alice.  You make me feel ashamed of myself.’

’I am doing only what anyone else would do if they were called upon.  But we have been sitting here a long time now, and before we go back to the tennis-ground we had better arrange what is to be done.  When do you propose leaving?’

’I had better leave at once.  It is seven months ago now ­no one suspects as yet.’

’Well, then, when would you like me to send you the money?  You can have it at once if you like.’

’Oh, thanks, dear; mother will give me enough to last me a little while, and I will write to you from Dublin.  You are sure no one sees your letters at Brookfield?’

‘Quite sure; there’s not the slightest danger.’  She did not question the advice she had given, and she felt sure that the Reverend Mother, if a proper appeal were made to her common sense, would consent to conceal the girl’s fault.  Two months would not be long passing, but the expenses of this time would be heavy, and she, Alice, would have to meet them all.  She trembled lest she might fail to do so, and she tried to reckon them up.  It would be impossible to get rooms under a pound a week, and to live, no matter how cheaply, would cost at least two pounds; three pounds a week, four threes are twelve!  The twenty pounds would scarcely carry her over a month, she would not be well for at least two; and then there was the doctor, the nurse, the flannels for the baby.  Alice tried to calculate, thinking plainly and honestly.  If a repulsive detail rose suddenly up in her mind, she did not shrink, nor was she surprised to find herself thinking of such things; she did so as a matter of course, keeping her thoughts fixed on the one object of doing her duty towards her friend.  And how to do this was the problem that presented itself unceasingly for solution.  She felt that somehow she would have to earn twenty pounds within the next month.  Out of the Lady’s Paper, in which ‘Notes and Sensations of a Plain Girl at Dublin Castle,’ was still running, she could not hope to make more than thirty shillings a week; a magazine had lately accepted a ten-page story worth, she fancied, about five pounds, but when they would print it and pay her was impossible to say.  She could write the editor an imploring letter, asking him to advance her the money.  But even then there was another nine pounds to make up.  And to do this seemed to her an impossibility.  She could not ask her father or mother; she would only do so if the worst came to the worst.  She would write paragraphs, articles, short stories, and would send them to every editor in London.  One out of three might turn up trumps.

’GARDNER STREET,
’MOUNTJOY SQUARE. 
’DARLING ALICE, ’I have been in Dublin now more than a week.  I did not write to you before because I wished to write to tell you that I had done all you told me to do.  The first thing I did was to go to the convent.  Would you believe it, the new Rev. Mother is Sister Mary who we knew so well at St. Leonards!  She has been transferred to the branch convent in Dublin; she was delighted to see me, but the sight of her dear face awoke so many memories, so many old associations, that I burst out crying, and it seemed to me impossible that I should ever be able to find courage to tell her the truth.  None will ever know what it cost me to speak the words.  They came to me all of a sudden, and I told her everything.  I thought she would reproach me and speak bitterly, but she only said, “My poor child, I am sorry you hadn’t strength to resist temptation; your trial is a dreadful one.”  She was very, very kind.  Her face lighted up when I spoke of you, and she said:  “Sweet girl; she was always an angel; one of these days she will come back to us.  She is too good for the world.”  Then I insisted that it was your idea that I should seek help from the convent, but she said that it was my duty to go to my mother and tell her the whole truth.  Oh, my darling Alice, I cannot tell you what a terrible time I went through.  We were talking for at least two hours, and it was only with immense difficulty that I at last succeeded in making her understand what kind of person poor mamma is, and how hopeless it would be to expect her to keep any secret, even if her daughter’s honour was in question.  I told her how she would run about, talking in her mild unmeaning way of “poor May and that shameful Mr. Scully;” and, at last, the Rev. Mother, as you prophesied she would, saw the matter in its proper light, and she has consented to receive all my letters, and if mother writes, to give her to understand that I am safe within the convent walls.  It is very good of her, for I know the awful risk she is wilfully incurring so as to help me out of my trouble.

’The house I am staying in is nice enough, and the landlady seems a kind woman.  The name I go by is Mrs. Brandon (you will not forget to direct your letters so), and I said that my husband was an officer, and had gone out to join his regiment in India.  I have a comfortable bedroom on the third floor.  There are two windows, and they look out on the street.  The time seems as if it would never pass; the twelve hours of the day seem like twelve centuries.  I have not even a book to read, and I never go out for fear of being seen.  In the evening I put on a thick veil and go for a walk in the back streets.  But I cannot go out before nine; it is not dark till then, and I cannot stop out later than ten on account of the men who speak to you.  My coloured hair makes me look fast, and I am so afraid of meeting someone I know, that this short hour is as full of misery as those that preceded it.  Every passer-by seems to know me, to recognize me, and I cannot help imagining that he or she will be telling my unfortunate story half an hour after in the pitiless drawing-rooms of Merrion Square.  Oh, Alice darling, you are the only friend I have in the world.  If it were not for you, I believe I should drown myself in the Liffey.  No girl was ever so miserable as I. I cannot tell you how I feel, and you cannot imagine how forlorn it all is; and I am so ill.  I am always hungry, and always sick, and always longing.  Oh, these longings; you may think they are nothing, but they are dreadful.  You remember how active I used to be, how I used to run about the tennis-court; now I can scarcely crawl.  And the strange sickening fancies:  I see things in the shops that tempt me, sometimes it is a dry biscuit, sometimes a basket of strawberries; but whatever it is, I stand and look at it, long for it, until weary of longing and standing with a sort of weight weighing me down, and my stays all rucking up to my neck, I crawl home.  There I am all alone; and I sit in the dark, on a wretched hard chair by the window; and I cry; and I watch the summer night and all the golden stars, and I cannot say what I think of during all these long and lonely hours; I only know that I cannot find energy to go to bed.  And I never sleep a whole night through; the cramp comes on so terribly that I jump up screaming.  Oh, Alice, how I hate him! When I think of it all I see how selfish men are; they never think of us ­they only think of themselves.  You would scarcely know me if you saw me now; all my complexion ­you know what a pretty complexion it was ­is all red and mottled.  When you saw me a fortnight ago I was all right:  it is extraordinary what a change has come about.  I think it was the journey and the excitement; there would be no concealing the truth now.  It is lucky I left Galway when I did.

’Mother gave me five pounds on leaving home.  My ticket cost nearly thirty shillings, a pound went in cabs and hotel expenses, and my breakfasts brought my bill up yesterday to two pounds ­I cannot think how, for I only pay sixteen shillings for my room ­and when it was paid I had only a few shillings left.  Will you, therefore, send the money you promised, if possible, by return of post? 
                                ’Always affectionately yours,
                                                      ‘MAY GOULD.’

The tears started to Alice’s eyes as she read the letter.  She did not consider if May might have spared her the physical details with which her letter abounded; she did not stay to think of the cause, of the result; for the moment she was numb to ideas and sensations that were not those of humble human pity for humble human suffering:  like the waters of a new baptism, pity made her pure and whole, and the false shame of an ancient world fell from her.  Leaning her head on her strong, well-shaped hand, she set to arranging her little plans for her friend’s help ­plans that were charming for their simplicity, their sweet homeliness.  The letter she had just read had come by the afternoon post, and if she were to send May the money she wrote for that evening, it would be necessary to go into Gort to register the letter.  Gort was two miles away; and if she asked for the carriage her mother might propose that the letters should be sent in by a special messenger.  This of course was impossible, and Alice, for the first time in her life found herself obliged to tell a deliberate lie.  For a moment her conscience stood at bay, but she accepted the inevitable and told her mother that she had some MSS. to register, and did not care to entrust them to other hands.  It was a consolation to know that eighteen pounds were safely despatched, but she was bitterly unhappy, and the fear that money might be wanting in the last and most terrible hours bound her to her desk as with a chain; and when her tired and exhausted brain ceased to formulate phrases, the picture of the lonely room, the night walks, and the suffering of the jaded girl, stared her in the face with a terrible distinctness.  Her only moments of gladness were when the post brought a cheque from London.  Sometimes they were for a pound, sometimes for fifteen shillings.  Once she received five pounds ten ­it was for her story.  On the 10th of September she received the following letter: 

’DARLING ALICE, ’Thanks a thousand times for your last letter, and the money enclosed.  It came in the nick of time, for I was run almost to my last penny.  I did not write before, because I didn’t feel in the humour to do anything.  Thank goodness!  I’m not sick any more, though I don’t know that it isn’t counterbalanced by the dreadful faintness and the constant movement.  Isn’t it awful to sit here day after day, watching myself, and knowing the only relief I shall get will be after such terrible pain?  I woke up last night crying with the terror of it.  Cervassi says there are cases on record of painless confinements, and in my best moods I think mine is to be one of them.  I know it is wrong to write all these things to a good girl like you, but I think talking about it is part of the complaint, and poor sinner me has no one to talk to.  Do you remember my old black cashmere?  I’ve been altering it till there’s hardly a bit of the original body left; but now the skirt is adding to my troubles by getting shorter and shorter in front.  It is now quite six inches off the ground, and instead of fastening it I have to pin the placket-hole, and then it falls nearly right. . . .  Only three weeks longer, and then. . .  But there, I won’t look forward, because I know I am going to die, and all the accounting for it, and everything else, will be on your shoulders.  Good-bye, dear; I shan’t write again, at least not till afterwards.  And if there is an afterward, I shall never be able to thank you properly; but still I think it will be a weight off you.  Is it so, dear?  Do you wish I were dead?  I know you don’t.  It was unkind to write that last line; I will scratch it out.  You will not be angry, dear.  I am too wretched to know what I am writing, and I want to lie down. 
                                ’Always affectionately yours,
                                                       ‘MAY GOULD.’

Outside the air was limpid with sunlight, and the newly mown meadow was golden in the light of evening.  The autumn-coloured foliage of the chestnuts lay mysteriously rich and still, harmonizing in measured tones with the ruddy tints of the dim September sunset.  The country dozed as if satiated with summer love.  Heavy scents were abroad ­the pungent odours of the aftermath.  A high baritone voice broke the languid silence, and, in embroidered smoking-jacket and cap, Mr. Barton twanged his guitar.  Milord had been thrown down amid the hay; and Mrs. Barton and Olive were showering it upon him.  The old gentleman’s legs were in the air.

Crushing the letter, Alice’s hands fell on the table; she burst into tears.  But work was more vital than tears; and, taking up her pen, she continued her story ­penny journal fiction of true love and unending happiness in the end.  A month later she received this note: 

’DEAREST, ’Just a line in pencil ­I mustn’t sit up ­to tell you it is all over, and all I said was “Thank God, thank God!” over and over again, as each pain went.  It is such a relief; but I mustn’t write much.  It is such a funny screwed-up-looking baby, and I don’t feel any of those maternal sentiments that you read about ­at least not yet.  And it always cries just when I am longing to go to sleep.  Thank you again and again for all you have done for me and been to me.  I feel awfully weak. 
’Always affectionately yours,
‘MAY GOULD.’