The consulting-rooms of Dr Orion Hood,
the eminent criminologist and specialist in certain
moral disorders, lay along the sea-front at Scarborough,
in a series of very large and well-lighted french windows,
which showed the North Sea like one endless outer wall
of blue-green marble. In such a place the sea
had something of the monotony of a blue-green dado:
for the chambers themselves were ruled throughout by
a terrible tidiness not unlike the terrible tidiness
of the sea. It must not be supposed that Dr Hood’s
apartments excluded luxury, or even poetry. These
things were there, in their place; but one felt that
they were never allowed out of their place. Luxury
was there: there stood upon a special table eight
or ten boxes of the best cigars; but they were built
upon a plan so that the strongest were always nearest
the wall and the mildest nearest the window.
A tantalus containing three kinds of spirit, all of
a liqueur excellence, stood always on this table of
luxury; but the fanciful have asserted that the whisky,
brandy, and rum seemed always to stand at the same
level. Poetry was there: the left-hand corner
of the room was lined with as complete a set of English
classics as the right hand could show of English and
foreign physiologists. But if one took a volume
of Chaucer or Shelley from that rank, its absence
irritated the mind like a gap in a man’s front
teeth. One could not say the books were never
read; probably they were, but there was a sense of
their being chained to their places, like the Bibles
in the old churches. Dr Hood treated his private
book-shelf as if it were a public library. And
if this strict scientific intangibility steeped even
the shelves laden with lyrics and ballads and the tables
laden with drink and tobacco, it goes without saying
that yet more of such heathen holiness protected the
other shelves that held the specialist’s library,
and the other tables that sustained the frail and
even fairylike instruments of chemistry or mechanics.
Dr Hood paced the length of his string
of apartments, bounded -as the boys’
geographies say -on the east by the North
Sea and on the west by the serried ranks of his sociological
and criminologist library. He was clad in an
artist’s velvet, but with none of an artist’s
negligence; his hair was heavily shot with grey, but
growing thick and healthy; his face was lean, but
sanguine and expectant. Everything about him and
his room indicated something at once rigid and restless,
like that great northern sea by which (on pure principles
of hygiene) he had built his home.
Fate, being in a funny mood, pushed
the door open and introduced into those long, strict,
sea-flanked apartments one who was perhaps the most
startling opposite of them and their master. In
answer to a curt but civil summons, the door opened
inwards and there shambled into the room a shapeless
little figure, which seemed to find its own hat and
umbrella as unmanageable as a mass of luggage.
The umbrella was a black and prosaic bundle long past
repair; the hat was a broad-curved black hat, clerical
but not common in England; the man was the very embodiment
of all that is homely and helpless.
The doctor regarded the new-comer
with a restrained astonishment, not unlike that he
would have shown if some huge but obviously harmless
sea-beast had crawled into his room. The new-comer
regarded the doctor with that beaming but breathless
geniality which characterizes a corpulent charwoman
who has just managed to stuff herself into an omnibus.
It is a rich confusion of social self-congratulation
and bodily disarray. His hat tumbled to the carpet,
his heavy umbrella slipped between his knees with
a thud; he reached after the one and ducked after
the other, but with an unimpaired smile on his round
face spoke simultaneously as follows:
“My name is Brown. Pray
excuse me. I’ve come about that business
of the MacNabs. I have heard, you often help
people out of such troubles. Pray excuse me if
I am wrong.”
By this time he had sprawlingly recovered
the hat, and made an odd little bobbing bow over it,
as if setting everything quite right.
“I hardly understand you,”
replied the scientist, with a cold intensity of manner.
“I fear you have mistaken the chambers.
I am Dr Hood, and my work is almost entirely literary
and educational. It is true that I have sometimes
been consulted by the police in cases of peculiar difficulty
and importance, but -”
“Oh, this is of the greatest
importance,” broke in the little man called
Brown. “Why, her mother won’t let
them get engaged.” And he leaned back in
his chair in radiant rationality.
The brows of Dr Hood were drawn down
darkly, but the eyes under them were bright with something
that might be anger or might be amusement. “And
still,” he said, “I do not quite understand.”
“You see, they want to get married,”
said the man with the clerical hat. “Maggie
MacNab and young Todhunter want to get married.
Now, what can be more important than that?”
The great Orion Hood’s scientific
triumphs had deprived him of many things -some
said of his health, others of his God; but they had
not wholly despoiled him of his sense of the absurd.
At the last plea of the ingenuous priest a chuckle
broke out of him from inside, and he threw himself
into an arm-chair in an ironical attitude of the consulting
physician.
“Mr Brown,” he said gravely,
“it is quite fourteen and a half years since
I was personally asked to test a personal problem:
then it was the case of an attempt to poison the French
President at a Lord Mayor’s Banquet. It
is now, I understand, a question of whether some friend
of yours called Maggie is a suitable fiancee for some
friend of hers called Todhunter. Well, Mr Brown,
I am a sportsman. I will take it on. I will
give the MacNab family my best advice, as good as I
gave the French Republic and the King of England -no,
better: fourteen years better. I have nothing
else to do this afternoon. Tell me your story.”
The little clergyman called Brown
thanked him with unquestionable warmth, but still
with a queer kind of simplicity. It was rather
as if he were thanking a stranger in a smoking-room
for some trouble in passing the matches, than as if
he were (as he was) practically thanking the Curator
of Kew Gardens for coming with him into a field to
find a four-leaved clover. With scarcely a semi-colon
after his hearty thanks, the little man began his
recital:
“I told you my name was Brown;
well, that’s the fact, and I’m the priest
of the little Catholic Church I dare say you’ve
seen beyond those straggly streets, where the town
ends towards the north. In the last and straggliest
of those streets which runs along the sea like a sea-wall
there is a very honest but rather sharp-tempered member
of my flock, a widow called MacNab. She has one
daughter, and she lets lodgings, and between her and
the daughter, and between her and the lodgers -well,
I dare say there is a great deal to be said on both
sides. At present she has only one lodger, the
young man called Todhunter; but he has given more
trouble than all the rest, for he wants to marry the
young woman of the house.”
“And the young woman of the
house,” asked Dr Hood, with huge and silent
amusement, “what does she want?”
“Why, she wants to marry him,”
cried Father Brown, sitting up eagerly. “That
is just the awful complication.”
“It is indeed a hideous enigma,” said
Dr Hood.
“This young James Todhunter,”
continued the cleric, “is a very decent man
so far as I know; but then nobody knows very much.
He is a bright, brownish little fellow, agile like
a monkey, clean-shaven like an actor, and obliging
like a born courtier. He seems to have quite a
pocketful of money, but nobody knows what his trade
is. Mrs MacNab, therefore (being of a pessimistic
turn), is quite sure it is something dreadful, and
probably connected with dynamite. The dynamite
must be of a shy and noiseless sort, for the poor
fellow only shuts himself up for several hours of
the day and studies something behind a locked door.
He declares his privacy is temporary and justified,
and promises to explain before the wedding. That
is all that anyone knows for certain, but Mrs MacNab
will tell you a great deal more than even she is certain
of. You know how the tales grow like grass on
such a patch of ignorance as that. There are
tales of two voices heard talking in the room; though,
when the door is opened, Todhunter is always found
alone. There are tales of a mysterious tall man
in a silk hat, who once came out of the sea-mists
and apparently out of the sea, stepping softly across
the sandy fields and through the small back garden
at twilight, till he was heard talking to the lodger
at his open window. The colloquy seemed to end
in a quarrel. Todhunter dashed down his window
with violence, and the man in the high hat melted
into the sea-fog again. This story is told by
the family with the fiercest mystification; but I
really think Mrs MacNab prefers her own original tale:
that the Other Man (or whatever it is) crawls out
every night from the big box in the corner, which is
kept locked all day. You see, therefore, how
this sealed door of Todhunter’s is treated as
the gate of all the fancies and monstrosities of the
‘Thousand and One Nights’. And yet
there is the little fellow in his respectable black
jacket, as punctual and innocent as a parlour clock.
He pays his rent to the tick; he is practically a teetotaller;
he is tirelessly kind with the younger children, and
can keep them amused for a day on end; and, last and
most urgent of all, he has made himself equally popular
with the eldest daughter, who is ready to go to church
with him tomorrow.”
A man warmly concerned with any large
theories has always a relish for applying them to
any triviality. The great specialist having condescended
to the priest’s simplicity, condescended expansively.
He settled himself with comfort in his arm-chair and
began to talk in the tone of a somewhat absent-minded
lecturer:
“Even in a minute instance,
it is best to look first to the main tendencies of
Nature. A particular flower may not be dead in
early winter, but the flowers are dying; a particular
pebble may never be wetted with the tide, but the
tide is coming in. To the scientific eye all
human history is a series of collective movements,
destructions or migrations, like the massacre of flies
in winter or the return of birds in spring. Now
the root fact in all history is Race. Race produces
religion; Race produces legal and ethical wars.
There is no stronger case than that of the wild, unworldly
and perishing stock which we commonly call the Celts,
of whom your friends the MacNabs are specimens.
Small, swarthy, and of this dreamy and drifting blood,
they accept easily the superstitious explanation of
any incidents, just as they still accept (you will
excuse me for saying) that superstitious explanation
of all incidents which you and your Church represent.
It is not remarkable that such people, with the sea
moaning behind them and the Church (excuse me again)
droning in front of them, should put fantastic features
into what are probably plain events. You, with
your small parochial responsibilities, see only this
particular Mrs MacNab, terrified with this particular
tale of two voices and a tall man out of the sea.
But the man with the scientific imagination sees, as
it were, the whole clans of MacNab scattered over
the whole world, in its ultimate average as uniform
as a tribe of birds. He sees thousands of Mrs
MacNabs, in thousands of houses, dropping their little
drop of morbidity in the tea-cups of their friends;
he sees -”
Before the scientist could conclude
his sentence, another and more impatient summons sounded
from without; someone with swishing skirts was marshalled
hurriedly down the corridor, and the door opened on
a young girl, decently dressed but disordered and
red-hot with haste. She had sea-blown blonde
hair, and would have been entirely beautiful if her
cheek-bones had not been, in the Scotch manner, a little
high in relief as well as in colour. Her apology
was almost as abrupt as a command.
“I’m sorry to interrupt
you, sir,” she said, “but I had to follow
Father Brown at once; it’s nothing less than
life or death.”
Father Brown began to get to his feet
in some disorder. “Why, what has happened,
Maggie?” he said.
“James has been murdered, for
all I can make out,” answered the girl, still
breathing hard from her rush. “That man
Glass has been with him again; I heard them talking
through the door quite plain. Two separate voices:
for James speaks low, with a burr, and the other voice
was high and quavery.”
“That man Glass?” repeated the priest
in some perplexity.
“I know his name is Glass,”
answered the girl, in great impatience. “I
heard it through the door. They were quarrelling -about
money, I think -for I heard James say again
and again, ‘That’s right, Mr Glass,’
or ‘No, Mr Glass,’ and then, ‘Two
or three, Mr Glass.’ But we’re talking
too much; you must come at once, and there may be time
yet.”
“But time for what?” asked
Dr Hood, who had been studying the young lady with
marked interest. “What is there about Mr
Glass and his money troubles that should impel such
urgency?”
“I tried to break down the door
and couldn’t,” answered the girl shortly,
“Then I ran to the back-yard, and managed to
climb on to the window-sill that looks into the room.
It was an dim, and seemed to be empty, but I swear
I saw James lying huddled up in a corner, as if he
were drugged or strangled.”
“This is very serious,”
said Father Brown, gathering his errant hat and umbrella
and standing up; “in point of fact I was just
putting your case before this gentleman, and his view -”
“Has been largely altered,”
said the scientist gravely. “I do not think
this young lady is so Celtic as I had supposed.
As I have nothing else to do, I will put on my hat
and stroll down town with you.”
In a few minutes all three were approaching
the dreary tail of the MacNabs’ street:
the girl with the stern and breathless stride of the
mountaineer, the criminologist with a lounging grace
(which was not without a certain leopard-like swiftness),
and the priest at an energetic trot entirely devoid
of distinction. The aspect of this edge of the
town was not entirely without justification for the
doctor’s hints about desolate moods and environments.
The scattered houses stood farther and farther apart
in a broken string along the seashore; the afternoon
was closing with a premature and partly lurid twilight;
the sea was of an inky purple and murmuring ominously.
In the scrappy back garden of the MacNabs which ran
down towards the sand, two black, barren-looking trees
stood up like demon hands held up in astonishment,
and as Mrs MacNab ran down the street to meet them
with lean hands similarly spread, and her fierce face
in shadow, she was a little like a demon herself.
The doctor and the priest made scant reply to her shrill
reiterations of her daughter’s story, with more
disturbing details of her own, to the divided vows
of vengeance against Mr Glass for murdering, and against
Mr Todhunter for being murdered, or against the latter
for having dared to want to marry her daughter, and
for not having lived to do it. They passed through
the narrow passage in the front of the house until
they came to the lodger’s door at the back,
and there Dr Hood, with the trick of an old detective,
put his shoulder sharply to the panel and burst in
the door.
It opened on a scene of silent catastrophe.
No one seeing it, even for a flash, could doubt that
the room had been the theatre of some thrilling collision
between two, or perhaps more, persons. Playing-cards
lay littered across the table or fluttered about the
floor as if a game had been interrupted. Two
wine glasses stood ready for wine on a side-table,
but a third lay smashed in a star of crystal upon the
carpet. A few feet from it lay what looked like
a long knife or short sword, straight, but with an
ornamental and pictured handle, its dull blade just
caught a grey glint from the dreary window behind,
which showed the black trees against the leaden level
of the sea. Towards the opposite corner of the
room was rolled a gentleman’s silk top hat, as
if it had just been knocked off his head; so much
so, indeed, that one almost looked to see it still
rolling. And in the corner behind it, thrown like
a sack of potatoes, but corded like a railway trunk,
lay Mr James Todhunter, with a scarf across his mouth,
and six or seven ropes knotted round his elbows and
ankles. His brown eyes were alive and shifted
alertly.
Dr Orion Hood paused for one instant
on the doormat and drank in the whole scene of voiceless
violence. Then he stepped swiftly across the
carpet, picked up the tall silk hat, and gravely put
it upon the head of the yet pinioned Todhunter.
It was so much too large for him that it almost slipped
down on to his shoulders.
“Mr Glass’s hat,”
said the doctor, returning with it and peering into
the inside with a pocket lens. “How to explain
the absence of Mr Glass and the presence of Mr Glass’s
hat? For Mr Glass is not a careless man with
his clothes. That hat is of a stylish shape and
systematically brushed and burnished, though not very
new. An old dandy, I should think.”
“But, good heavens!” called
out Miss MacNab, “aren’t you going to untie
the man first?”
“I say ‘old’ with
intention, though not with certainty” continued
the expositor; “my reason for it might seem
a little far-fetched. The hair of human beings
falls out in very varying degrees, but almost always
falls out slightly, and with the lens I should see
the tiny hairs in a hat recently worn. It has
none, which leads me to guess that Mr Glass is bald.
Now when this is taken with the high-pitched and querulous
voice which Miss MacNab described so vividly (patience,
my dear lady, patience), when we take the hairless
head together with the tone common in senile anger,
I should think we may deduce some advance in years.
Nevertheless, he was probably vigorous, and he was
almost certainly tall. I might rely in some degree
on the story of his previous appearance at the window,
as a tall man in a silk hat, but I think I have more
exact indication. This wineglass has been smashed
all over the place, but one of its splinters lies
on the high bracket beside the mantelpiece. No
such fragment could have fallen there if the vessel
had been smashed in the hand of a comparatively short
man like Mr Todhunter.”
“By the way,” said Father
Brown, “might it not be as well to untie Mr
Todhunter?”
“Our lesson from the drinking-vessels
does not end here,” proceeded the specialist.
“I may say at once that it is possible that the
man Glass was bald or nervous through dissipation
rather than age. Mr Todhunter, as has been remarked,
is a quiet thrifty gentleman, essentially an abstainer.
These cards and wine-cups are no part of his normal
habit; they have been produced for a particular companion.
But, as it happens, we may go farther. Mr Todhunter
may or may not possess this wine-service, but there
is no appearance of his possessing any wine.
What, then, were these vessels to contain? I would
at once suggest some brandy or whisky, perhaps of
a luxurious sort, from a flask in the pocket of Mr
Glass. We have thus something like a picture of
the man, or at least of the type: tall, elderly,
fashionable, but somewhat frayed, certainly fond of
play and strong waters, perhaps rather too fond of
them. Mr Glass is a gentleman not unknown on the
fringes of society.”
“Look here,” cried the
young woman, “if you don’t let me pass
to untie him I’ll run outside and scream for
the police.”
“I should not advise you, Miss
MacNab,” said Dr Hood gravely, “to be
in any hurry to fetch the police. Father Brown,
I seriously ask you to compose your flock, for their
sakes, not for mine. Well, we have seen something
of the figure and quality of Mr Glass; what are the
chief facts known of Mr Todhunter? They are substantially
three: that he is economical, that he is more
or less wealthy, and that he has a secret. Now,
surely it is obvious that there are the three chief
marks of the kind of man who is blackmailed.
And surely it is equally obvious that the faded finery,
the profligate habits, and the shrill irritation of
Mr Glass are the unmistakable marks of the kind of
man who blackmails him. We have the two typical
figures of a tragedy of hush money: on the one
hand, the respectable man with a mystery; on the other,
the West-end vulture with a scent for a mystery.
These two men have met here today and have quarrelled,
using blows and a bare weapon.”
“Are you going to take those
ropes off?” asked the girl stubbornly.
Dr Hood replaced the silk hat carefully
on the side table, and went across to the captive.
He studied him intently, even moving him a little
and half-turning him round by the shoulders, but he
only answered:
“No; I think these ropes will
do very well till your friends the police bring the
handcuffs.”
Father Brown, who had been looking
dully at the carpet, lifted his round face and said:
“What do you mean?”
The man of science had picked up the
peculiar dagger-sword from the carpet and was examining
it intently as he answered:
“Because you find Mr Todhunter
tied up,” he said, “you all jump to the
conclusion that Mr Glass had tied him up; and then,
I suppose, escaped. There are four objections
to this: First, why should a gentleman so dressy
as our friend Glass leave his hat behind him, if he
left of his own free will? Second,” he
continued, moving towards the window, “this
is the only exit, and it is locked on the inside.
Third, this blade here has a tiny touch of blood at
the point, but there is no wound on Mr Todhunter.
Mr Glass took that wound away with him, dead or alive.
Add to all this primary probability. It is much
more likely that the blackmailed person would try
to kill his incubus, rather than that the blackmailer
would try to kill the goose that lays his golden egg.
There, I think, we have a pretty complete story.”
“But the ropes?” inquired
the priest, whose eyes had remained open with a rather
vacant admiration.
“Ah, the ropes,” said
the expert with a singular intonation. “Miss
MacNab very much wanted to know why I did not set Mr
Todhunter free from his ropes. Well, I will tell
her. I did not do it because Mr Todhunter can
set himself free from them at any minute he chooses.”
“What?” cried the audience
on quite different notes of astonishment.
“I have looked at all the knots
on Mr Todhunter,” reiterated Hood quietly.
“I happen to know something about knots; they
are quite a branch of criminal science. Every
one of those knots he has made himself and could loosen
himself; not one of them would have been made by an
enemy really trying to pinion him. The whole of
this affair of the ropes is a clever fake, to make
us think him the victim of the struggle instead of
the wretched Glass, whose corpse may be hidden in the
garden or stuffed up the chimney.”
There was a rather depressed silence;
the room was darkening, the sea-blighted boughs of
the garden trees looked leaner and blacker than ever,
yet they seemed to have come nearer to the window.
One could almost fancy they were sea-monsters like
krakens or cuttlefish, writhing polypi who
had crawled up from the sea to see the end of this
tragedy, even as he, the villain and victim of it,
the terrible man in the tall hat, had once crawled
up from the sea. For the whole air was dense with
the morbidity of blackmail, which is the most morbid
of human things, because it is a crime concealing
a crime; a black plaster on a blacker wound.
The face of the little Catholic priest,
which was commonly complacent and even comic, had
suddenly become knotted with a curious frown.
It was not the blank curiosity of his first innocence.
It was rather that creative curiosity which comes
when a man has the beginnings of an idea. “Say
it again, please,” he said in a simple, bothered
manner; “do you mean that Todhunter can tie
himself up all alone and untie himself all alone?”
“That is what I mean,” said the doctor.
“Jerusalem!” ejaculated
Brown suddenly, “I wonder if it could possibly
be that!”
He scuttled across the room rather
like a rabbit, and peered with quite a new impulsiveness
into the partially-covered face of the captive.
Then he turned his own rather fatuous face to the
company. “Yes, that’s it!”
he cried in a certain excitement. “Can’t
you see it in the man’s face? Why, look
at his eyes!”
Both the Professor and the girl followed
the direction of his glance. And though the broad
black scarf completely masked the lower half of Todhunter’s
visage, they did grow conscious of something struggling
and intense about the upper part of it.
“His eyes do look queer,”
cried the young woman, strongly moved. “You
brutes; I believe it’s hurting him!”
“Not that, I think,” said
Dr Hood; “the eyes have certainly a singular
expression. But I should interpret those transverse
wrinkles as expressing rather such slight psychological
abnormality -”
“Oh, bosh!” cried Father
Brown: “can’t you see he’s laughing?”
“Laughing!” repeated the
doctor, with a start; “but what on earth can
he be laughing at?”
“Well,” replied the Reverend
Brown apologetically, “not to put too fine a
point on it, I think he is laughing at you. And
indeed, I’m a little inclined to laugh at myself,
now I know about it.”
“Now you know about what?”
asked Hood, in some exasperation.
“Now I know,” replied
the priest, “the profession of Mr Todhunter.”
He shuffled about the room, looking
at one object after another with what seemed to be
a vacant stare, and then invariably bursting into an
equally vacant laugh, a highly irritating process for
those who had to watch it. He laughed very much
over the hat, still more uproariously over the broken
glass, but the blood on the sword point sent him into
mortal convulsions of amusement. Then he turned
to the fuming specialist.
“Dr Hood,” he cried enthusiastically,
“you are a great poet! You have called
an uncreated being out of the void. How much more
godlike that is than if you had only ferreted out
the mere facts! Indeed, the mere facts are rather
commonplace and comic by comparison.”
“I have no notion what you are
talking about,” said Dr Hood rather haughtily;
“my facts are all inevitable, though necessarily
incomplete. A place may be permitted to intuition,
perhaps (or poetry if you prefer the term), but only
because the corresponding details cannot as yet be
ascertained. In the absence of Mr Glass -”
“That’s it, that’s
it,” said the little priest, nodding quite eagerly,
“that’s the first idea to get fixed; the
absence of Mr Glass. He is so extremely absent.
I suppose,” he added reflectively, “that
there was never anybody so absent as Mr Glass.”
“Do you mean he is absent from
the town?” demanded the doctor.
“I mean he is absent from everywhere,”
answered Father Brown; “he is absent from the
Nature of Things, so to speak.”
“Do you seriously mean,”
said the specialist with a smile, “that there
is no such person?”
The priest made a sign of assent.
“It does seem a pity,” he said.
Orion Hood broke into a contemptuous
laugh. “Well,” he said, “before
we go on to the hundred and one other evidences, let
us take the first proof we found; the first fact we
fell over when we fell into this room. If there
is no Mr Glass, whose hat is this?”
“It is Mr Todhunter’s,” replied
Father Brown.
“But it doesn’t fit him,”
cried Hood impatiently. “He couldn’t
possibly wear it!”
Father Brown shook his head with ineffable
mildness. “I never said he could wear it,”
he answered. “I said it was his hat.
Or, if you insist on a shade of difference, a hat
that is his.”
“And what is the shade of difference?”
asked the criminologist with a slight sneer.
“My good sir,” cried the
mild little man, with his first movement akin to impatience,
“if you will walk down the street to the nearest
hatter’s shop, you will see that there is, in
common speech, a difference between a man’s
hat and the hats that are his.”
“But a hatter,” protested
Hood, “can get money out of his stock of new
hats. What could Todhunter get out of this one
old hat?”
“Rabbits,” replied Father Brown promptly.
“What?” cried Dr Hood.
“Rabbits, ribbons, sweetmeats,
goldfish, rolls of coloured paper,” said the
reverend gentleman with rapidity. “Didn’t
you see it all when you found out the faked ropes?
It’s just the same with the sword. Mr Todhunter
hasn’t got a scratch on him, as you say; but
he’s got a scratch in him, if you follow me.”
“Do you mean inside Mr Todhunter’s
clothes?” inquired Mrs MacNab sternly.
“I do not mean inside Mr Todhunter’s
clothes,” said Father Brown. “I mean
inside Mr Todhunter.”
“Well, what in the name of Bedlam do you mean?”
“Mr Todhunter,” explained
Father Brown placidly, “is learning to be a
professional conjurer, as well as juggler, ventriloquist,
and expert in the rope trick. The conjuring explains
the hat. It is without traces of hair, not because
it is worn by the prematurely bald Mr Glass, but because
it has never been worn by anybody. The juggling
explains the three glasses, which Todhunter was teaching
himself to throw up and catch in rotation. But,
being only at the stage of practice, he smashed one
glass against the ceiling. And the juggling also
explains the sword, which it was Mr Todhunter’s
professional pride and duty to swallow. But,
again, being at the stage of practice, he very slightly
grazed the inside of his throat with the weapon.
Hence he has a wound inside him, which I am sure (from
the expression on his face) is not a serious one.
He was also practising the trick of a release from
ropes, like the Davenport Brothers, and he was just
about to free himself when we all burst into the room.
The cards, of course, are for card tricks, and they
are scattered on the floor because he had just been
practising one of those dodges of sending them flying
through the air. He merely kept his trade secret,
because he had to keep his tricks secret, like any
other conjurer. But the mere fact of an idler
in a top hat having once looked in at his back window,
and been driven away by him with great indignation,
was enough to set us all on a wrong track of romance,
and make us imagine his whole life overshadowed by
the silk-hatted spectre of Mr Glass.”
“But What about the two voices?” asked
Maggie, staring.
“Have you never heard a ventriloquist?”
asked Father Brown. “Don’t you know
they speak first in their natural voice, and then answer
themselves in just that shrill, squeaky, unnatural
voice that you heard?”
There was a long silence, and Dr Hood
regarded the little man who had spoken with a dark
and attentive smile. “You are certainly
a very ingenious person,” he said; “it
could not have been done better in a book. But
there is just one part of Mr Glass you have not succeeded
in explaining away, and that is his name. Miss
MacNab distinctly heard him so addressed by Mr Todhunter.”
The Rev. Mr Brown broke into a rather
childish giggle. “Well, that,” he
said, “that’s the silliest part of the
whole silly story. When our juggling friend here
threw up the three glasses in turn, he counted them
aloud as he caught them, and also commented aloud when
he failed to catch them. What he really said
was: ’One, two and three -missed
a glass one, two -missed a glass.’
And so on.”
There was a second of stillness in
the room, and then everyone with one accord burst
out laughing. As they did so the figure in the
corner complacently uncoiled all the ropes and let
them fall with a flourish. Then, advancing into
the middle of the room with a bow, he produced from
his pocket a big bill printed in blue and red, which
announced that ZALADIN, the World’s Greatest
Conjurer, Contortionist, Ventriloquist and Human Kangaroo
would be ready with an entirely new series of Tricks
at the Empire Pavilion, Scarborough, on Monday next
at eight o’clock precisely.