Mr Calhoun Kidd was a very young gentleman
with a very old face, a face dried up with its own
eagerness, framed in blue-black hair and a black butterfly
tie. He was the emissary in England of the colossal
American daily called the Western Sun -also
humorously described as the “Rising Sunset”.
This was in allusion to a great journalistic declaration
(attributed to Mr Kidd himself) that “he guessed
the sun would rise in the west yet, if American citizens
did a bit more hustling.” Those, however,
who mock American journalism from the standpoint of
somewhat mellower traditions forget a certain paradox
which partly redeems it. For while the journalism
of the States permits a pantomimic vulgarity long
past anything English, it also shows a real excitement
about the most earnest mental problems, of which English
papers are innocent, or rather incapable. The
Sun was full of the most solemn matters treated in
the most farcical way. William James figured there
as well as “Weary Willie,” and pragmatists
alternated with pugilists in the long procession of
its portraits.
Thus, when a very unobtrusive Oxford
man named John Boulnois wrote in a very unreadable
review called the Natural Philosophy Quarterly a series
of articles on alleged weak points in Darwinian evolution,
it fluttered no corner of the English papers; though
Boulnois’s theory (which was that of a comparatively
stationary universe visited occasionally by convulsions
of change) had some rather faddy fashionableness at
Oxford, and got so far as to be named “Catastrophism”.
But many American papers seized on the challenge as
a great event; and the Sun threw the shadow of Mr
Boulnois quite gigantically across its pages.
By the paradox already noted, articles of valuable
intelligence and enthusiasm were presented with headlines
apparently written by an illiterate maniac, headlines
such as “Darwin Chews Dirt; Critic Boulnois says
He Jumps the Shocks” -or “Keep
Catastrophic, says Thinker Boulnois.” And
Mr Calhoun Kidd, of the Western Sun, was bidden to
take his butterfly tie and lugubrious visage down
to the little house outside Oxford where Thinker Boulnois
lived in happy ignorance of such a title.
That fated philosopher had consented,
in a somewhat dazed manner, to receive the interviewer,
and had named the hour of nine that evening.
The last of a summer sunset clung about Cumnor and
the low wooded hills; the romantic Yankee was both
doubtful of his road and inquisitive about his surroundings;
and seeing the door of a genuine feudal old-country
inn, The Champion Arms, standing open, he went in to
make inquiries.
In the bar parlour he rang the bell,
and had to wait some little time for a reply to it.
The only other person present was a lean man with
close red hair and loose, horsey-looking clothes, who
was drinking very bad whisky, but smoking a very good
cigar. The whisky, of course, was the choice
brand of The Champion Arms; the cigar he had probably
brought with him from London. Nothing could be
more different than his cynical negligence from the
dapper dryness of the young American; but something
in his pencil and open notebook, and perhaps in the
expression of his alert blue eye, caused Kidd to guess,
correctly, that he was a brother journalist.
“Could you do me the favour,”
asked Kidd, with the courtesy of his nation, “of
directing me to the Grey Cottage, where Mr Boulnois
lives, as I understand?”
“It’s a few yards down
the road,” said the red-haired man, removing
his cigar; “I shall be passing it myself in
a minute, but I’m going on to Pendragon Park
to try and see the fun.”
“What is Pendragon Park?” asked Calhoun
Kidd.
“Sir Claude Champion’s
place -haven’t you come down for that,
too?” asked the other pressman, looking up.
“You’re a journalist, aren’t you?”
“I have come to see Mr Boulnois,” said
Kidd.
“I’ve come to see Mrs
Boulnois,” replied the other. “But
I shan’t catch her at home.” And
he laughed rather unpleasantly.
“Are you interested in Catastrophism?”
asked the wondering Yankee.
“I’m interested in catastrophes;
and there are going to be some,” replied his
companion gloomily. “Mine’s a filthy
trade, and I never pretend it isn’t.”
With that he spat on the floor; yet
somehow in the very act and instant one could realize
that the man had been brought up as a gentleman.
The American pressman considered him
with more attention. His face was pale and dissipated,
with the promise of formidable passions yet to be
loosed; but it was a clever and sensitive face; his
clothes were coarse and careless, but he had a good
seal ring on one of his long, thin fingers. His
name, which came out in the course of talk, was James
Dalroy; he was the son of a bankrupt Irish landlord,
and attached to a pink paper which he heartily despised,
called Smart Society, in the capacity of reporter
and of something painfully like a spy.
Smart Society, I regret to say, felt
none of that interest in Boulnois on Darwin which
was such a credit to the head and hearts of the Western
Sun. Dalroy had come down, it seemed, to snuff
up the scent of a scandal which might very well end
in the Divorce Court, but which was at present hovering
between Grey Cottage and Pendragon Park.
Sir Claude Champion was known to the
readers of the Western Sun as well as Mr Boulnois.
So were the Pope and the Derby Winner; but the idea
of their intimate acquaintanceship would have struck
Kidd as equally incongruous. He had heard of
(and written about, nay, falsely pretended to know)
Sir Claude Champion, as “one of the brightest
and wealthiest of England’s Upper Ten”;
as the great sportsman who raced yachts round the
world; as the great traveller who wrote books about
the Himalayas, as the politician who swept constituencies
with a startling sort of Tory Democracy, and as the
great dabbler in art, music, literature, and, above
all, acting. Sir Claude was really rather magnificent
in other than American eyes. There was something
of the Renascence Prince about his omnivorous culture
and restless publicity -, he was not only
a great amateur, but an ardent one. There was
in him none of that antiquarian frivolity that we
convey by the word “dilettante”.
That faultless falcon profile with
purple-black Italian eye, which had been snap-shotted
so often both for Smart Society and the Western Sun,
gave everyone the impression of a man eaten by ambition
as by a fire, or even a disease. But though Kidd
knew a great deal about Sir Claude -a great
deal more, in fact, than there was to know -it
would never have crossed his wildest dreams to connect
so showy an aristocrat with the newly-unearthed founder
of Catastrophism, or to guess that Sir Claude Champion
and John Boulnois could be intimate friends. Such,
according to Dalroy’s account, was nevertheless
the fact. The two had hunted in couples at school
and college, and, though their social destinies had
been very different (for Champion was a great landlord
and almost a millionaire, while Boulnois was a poor
scholar and, until just lately, an unknown one), they
still kept in very close touch with each other.
Indeed, Boulnois’s cottage stood just outside
the gates of Pendragon Park.
But whether the two men could be friends
much longer was becoming a dark and ugly question.
A year or two before, Boulnois had married a beautiful
and not unsuccessful actress, to whom he was devoted
in his own shy and ponderous style; and the proximity
of the household to Champion’s had given that
flighty celebrity opportunities for behaving in a
way that could not but cause painful and rather base
excitement. Sir Claude had carried the arts of
publicity to perfection; and he seemed to take a crazy
pleasure in being equally ostentatious in an intrigue
that could do him no sort of honour. Footmen from
Pendragon were perpetually leaving bouquets for Mrs
Boulnois; carriages and motor-cars were perpetually
calling at the cottage for Mrs Boulnois; balls and
masquerades perpetually filled the grounds in which
the baronet paraded Mrs Boulnois, like the Queen of
Love and Beauty at a tournament. That very evening,
marked by Mr Kidd for the exposition of Catastrophism,
had been marked by Sir Claude Champion for an open-air
rendering of Romeo and Juliet, in which he was to play
Romeo to a Juliet it was needless to name.
“I don’t think it can
go on without a smash,” said the young man with
red hair, getting up and shaking himself. “Old
Boulnois may be squared -or he may be square.
But if he’s square he’s thick -what
you might call cubic. But I don’t believe
it’s possible.”
“He is a man of grand intellectual
powers,” said Calhoun Kidd in a deep voice.
“Yes,” answered Dalroy;
“but even a man of grand intellectual powers
can’t be such a blighted fool as all that.
Must you be going on? I shall be following myself
in a minute or two.”
But Calhoun Kidd, having finished
a milk and soda, betook himself smartly up the road
towards the Grey Cottage, leaving his cynical informant
to his whisky and tobacco. The last of the daylight
had faded; the skies were of a dark, green-grey, like
slate, studded here and there with a star, but lighter
on the left side of the sky, with the promise of a
rising moon.
The Grey Cottage, which stood entrenched,
as it were, in a square of stiff, high thorn-hedges,
was so close under the pines and palisades of the
Park that Kidd at first mistook it for the Park Lodge.
Finding the name on the narrow wooden gate, however,
and seeing by his watch that the hour of the “Thinker’s”
appointment had just struck, he went in and knocked
at the front door. Inside the garden hedge, he
could see that the house, though unpretentious enough,
was larger and more luxurious than it looked at first,
and was quite a different kind of place from a porter’s
lodge. A dog-kennel and a beehive stood outside,
like symbols of old English country-life; the moon
was rising behind a plantation of prosperous pear
trees, the dog that came out of the kennel was reverend-looking
and reluctant to bark; and the plain, elderly man-servant
who opened the door was brief but dignified.
“Mr Boulnois asked me to offer
his apologies, sir,” he said, “but he has
been obliged to go out suddenly.”
“But see here, I had an appointment,”
said the interviewer, with a rising voice. “Do
you know where he went to?”
“To Pendragon Park, sir,”
said the servant, rather sombrely, and began to close
the door.
Kidd started a little.
“Did he go with Mrs -with
the rest of the party?” he asked rather vaguely.
“No, sir,” said the man
shortly; “he stayed behind, and then went out
alone.” And he shut the door, brutally,
but with an air of duty not done.
The American, that curious compound
of impudence and sensitiveness, was annoyed.
He felt a strong desire to hustle them all along a
bit and teach them business habits; the hoary old
dog and the grizzled, heavy-faced old butler with
his prehistoric shirt-front, and the drowsy old moon,
and above all the scatter-brained old philosopher who
couldn’t keep an appointment.
“If that’s the way he
goes on he deserves to lose his wife’s purest
devotion,” said Mr Calhoun Kidd. “But
perhaps he’s gone over to make a row. In
that case I reckon a man from the Western Sun will
be on the spot.”
And turning the corner by the open
lodge-gates, he set off, stumping up the long avenue
of black pine-woods that pointed in abrupt perspective
towards the inner gardens of Pendragon Park. The
trees were as black and orderly as plumes upon a hearse;
there were still a few stars. He was a man with
more literary than direct natural associations; the
word “Ravenswood” came into his head repeatedly.
It was partly the raven colour of the pine-woods;
but partly also an indescribable atmosphere almost
described in Scott’s great tragedy; the smell
of something that died in the eighteenth century;
the smell of dank gardens and broken urns, of wrongs
that will never now be righted; of something that is
none the less incurably sad because it is strangely
unreal.
More than once, as he went up that
strange, black road of tragic artifice, he stopped,
startled, thinking he heard steps in front of him.
He could see nothing in front but the twin sombre walls
of pine and the wedge of starlit sky above them.
At first he thought he must have fancied it or been
mocked by a mere echo of his own tramp. But as
he went on he was more and more inclined to conclude,
with the remains of his reason, that there really
were other feet upon the road. He thought hazily
of ghosts; and was surprised how swiftly he could see
the image of an appropriate and local ghost, one with
a face as white as Pierrot’s, but patched with
black. The apex of the triangle of dark-blue
sky was growing brighter and bluer, but he did not
realize as yet that this was because he was coming
nearer to the lights of the great house and garden.
He only felt that the atmosphere was growing more intense,
there was in the sadness more violence and secrecy -more -he
hesitated for the word, and then said it with a jerk
of laughter -Catastrophism.
More pines, more pathway slid past
him, and then he stood rooted as by a blast of magic.
It is vain to say that he felt as if he had got into
a dream; but this time he felt quite certain that
he had got into a book. For we human beings are
used to inappropriate things; we are accustomed to
the clatter of the incongruous; it is a tune to which
we can go to sleep. If one appropriate thing
happens, it wakes us up like the pang of a perfect
chord. Something happened such as would have happened
in such a place in a forgotten tale.
Over the black pine-wood came flying
and flashing in the moon a naked sword -such
a slender and sparkling rapier as may have fought many
an unjust duel in that ancient park. It fell
on the pathway far in front of him and lay there glistening
like a large needle. He ran like a hare and bent
to look at it. Seen at close quarters it had rather
a showy look: the big red jewels in the hilt
and guard were a little dubious. But there were
other red drops upon the blade which were not dubious.
He looked round wildly in the direction
from which the dazzling missile had come, and saw
that at this point the sable façade of fir and pine
was interrupted by a smaller road at right angles;
which, when he turned it, brought him in full view
of the long, lighted house, with a lake and fountains
in front of it. Nevertheless, he did not look
at this, having something more interesting to look
at.
Above him, at the angle of the steep
green bank of the terraced garden, was one of those
small picturesque surprises common in the old landscape
gardening; a kind of small round hill or dome of grass,
like a giant mole-hill, ringed and crowned with three
concentric fences of roses, and having a sundial in
the highest point in the centre. Kidd could see
the finger of the dial stand up dark against the sky
like the dorsal fin of a shark and the vain moonlight
clinging to that idle clock. But he saw something
else clinging to it also, for one wild moment -the
figure of a man.
Though he saw it there only for a
moment, though it was outlandish and incredible in
costume, being clad from neck to heel in tight crimson,
with glints of gold, yet he knew in one flash of moonlight
who it was. That white face flung up to heaven,
clean-shaven and so unnaturally young, like Byron
with a Roman nose, those black curls already grizzled -he
had seen the thousand public portraits of Sir Claude
Champion. The wild red figure reeled an instant
against the sundial; the next it had rolled down the
steep bank and lay at the American’s feet, faintly
moving one arm. A gaudy, unnatural gold ornament
on the arm suddenly reminded Kidd of Romeo and Juliet;
of course the tight crimson suit was part of the play.
But there was a long red stain down the bank from
which the man had rolled -that was no part
of the play. He had been run through the body.
Mr Calhoun Kidd shouted and shouted
again. Once more he seemed to hear phantasmal
footsteps, and started to find another figure already
near him. He knew the figure, and yet it terrified
him. The dissipated youth who had called himself
Dalroy had a horribly quiet way with him; if Boulnois
failed to keep appointments that had been made, Dalroy
had a sinister air of keeping appointments that hadn’t.
The moonlight discoloured everything, against Dalroy’s
red hair his wan face looked not so much white as
pale green.
All this morbid impressionism must
be Kidd’s excuse for having cried out, brutally
and beyond all reason: “Did you do this,
you devil?”
James Dalroy smiled his unpleasing
smile; but before he could speak, the fallen figure
made another movement of the arm, waving vaguely towards
the place where the sword fell; then came a moan, and
then it managed to speak.
“Boulnois.... Boulnois,
I say.... Boulnois did it... jealous of me...he
was jealous, he was, he was...”
Kidd bent his head down to hear more,
and just managed to catch the words:
“Boulnois...with my own sword...he threw it...”
Again the failing hand waved towards
the sword, and then fell rigid with a thud. In
Kidd rose from its depth all that acrid humour that
is the strange salt of the seriousness of his race.
“See here,” he said sharply
and with command, “you must fetch a doctor.
This man’s dead.”
“And a priest, too, I suppose,”
said Dalroy in an undecipherable manner. “All
these Champions are papists.”
The American knelt down by the body,
felt the heart, propped up the head and used some
last efforts at restoration; but before the other
journalist reappeared, followed by a doctor and a priest,
he was already prepared to assert they were too late.
“Were you too late also?”
asked the doctor, a solid prosperous-looking man,
with conventional moustache and whiskers, but a lively
eye, which darted over Kidd dubiously.
“In one sense,” drawled
the representative of the Sun. “I was too
late to save the man, but I guess I was in time to
hear something of importance. I heard the dead
man denounce his assassin.”
“And who was the assassin?”
asked the doctor, drawing his eyebrows together.
“Boulnois,” said Calhoun Kidd, and whistled
softly.
The doctor stared at him gloomily
with a reddening brow -, but he did not
contradict. Then the priest, a shorter figure
in the background, said mildly: “I understood
that Mr Boulnois was not coming to Pendragon Park
this evening.”
“There again,” said the
Yankee grimly, “I may be in a position to give
the old country a fact or two. Yes, sir, John
Boulnois was going to stay in all this evening; he
fixed up a real good appointment there with me.
But John Boulnois changed his mind; John Boulnois left
his home abruptly and all alone, and came over to
this darned Park an hour or so ago. His butler
told me so. I think we hold what the all-wise
police call a clue -have you sent for them?”
“Yes,” said the doctor,
“but we haven’t alarmed anyone else yet.”
“Does Mrs Boulnois know?”
asked James Dalroy, and again Kidd was conscious of
an irrational desire to hit him on his curling mouth.
“I have not told her,”
said the doctor gruffly -, “but here
come the police.”
The little priest had stepped out
into the main avenue, and now returned with the fallen
sword, which looked ludicrously large and theatrical
when attached to his dumpy figure, at once clerical
and commonplace. “Just before the police
come,” he said apologetically, “has anyone
got a light?”
The Yankee journalist took an electric
torch from his pocket, and the priest held it close
to the middle part of the blade, which he examined
with blinking care. Then, without glancing at
the point or pommel, he handed the long weapon to
the doctor.
“I fear I’m no use here,”
he said, with a brief sigh. “I’ll
say good night to you, gentlemen.” And
he walked away up the dark avenue towards the house,
his hands clasped behind him and his big head bent
in cogitation.
The rest of the group made increased
haste towards the lodge-gates, where an inspector
and two constables could already be seen in consultation
with the lodge-keeper. But the little priest only
walked slower and slower in the dim cloister of pine,
and at last stopped dead, on the steps of the house.
It was his silent way of acknowledging an equally
silent approach; for there came towards him a presence
that might have satisfied even Calhoun Kidd’s
demands for a lovely and aristocratic ghost.
It was a young woman in silvery satins of a Renascence
design; she had golden hair in two long shining ropes,
and a face so startingly pale between them that she
might have been chryselephantine -made,
that is, like some old Greek statues, out of ivory
and gold. But her eyes were very bright, and her
voice, though low, was confident.
“Father Brown?” she said.
“Mrs Boulnois?” he replied
gravely. Then he looked at her and immediately
said: “I see you know about Sir Claude.”
“How do you know I know?” she asked steadily.
He did not answer the question, but
asked another: “Have you seen your husband?”
“My husband is at home,”
she said. “He has nothing to do with this.”
Again he did not answer; and the woman
drew nearer to him, with a curiously intense expression
on her face.
“Shall I tell you something
more?” she said, with a rather fearful smile.
“I don’t think he did it, and you don’t
either.” Father Brown returned her gaze
with a long, grave stare, and then nodded, yet more
gravely.
“Father Brown,” said the
lady, “I am going to tell you all I know, but
I want you to do me a favour first. Will you tell
me why you haven’t jumped to the conclusion
of poor John’s guilt, as all the rest have done?
Don’t mind what you say: I -I
know about the gossip and the appearances that are
against me.”
Father Brown looked honestly embarrassed,
and passed his hand across his forehead. “Two
very little things,” he said. “At
least, one’s very trivial and the other very
vague. But such as they are, they don’t
fit in with Mr Boulnois being the murderer.”
He turned his blank, round face up
to the stars and continued absentmindedly: “To
take the vague idea first. I attach a good deal
of importance to vague ideas. All those things
that ‘aren’t evidence’ are what
convince me. I think a moral impossibility the
biggest of all impossibilities. I know your husband
only slightly, but I think this crime of his, as generally
conceived, something very like a moral impossibility.
Please do not think I mean that Boulnois could not
be so wicked. Anybody can be wicked -as
wicked as he chooses. We can direct our moral
wills; but we can’t generally change our instinctive
tastes and ways of doing things. Boulnois might
commit a murder, but not this murder. He would
not snatch Romeo’s sword from its romantic scabbard;
or slay his foe on the sundial as on a kind of altar;
or leave his body among the roses, or fling the sword
away among the pines. If Boulnois killed anyone
he’d do it quietly and heavily, as he’d
do any other doubtful thing -take a tenth
glass of port, or read a loose Greek poet. No,
the romantic setting is not like Boulnois. It’s
more like Champion.”
“Ah!” she said, and looked
at him with eyes like diamonds.
“And the trivial thing was this,”
said Brown. “There were finger-prints on
that sword; finger-prints can be detected quite a time
after they are made if they’re on some polished
surface like glass or steel. These were on a
polished surface. They were half-way down the
blade of the sword. Whose prints they were I
have no earthly clue; but why should anybody hold
a sword half-way down? It was a long sword, but
length is an advantage in lunging at an enemy.
At least, at most enemies. At all enemies except
one.”
“Except one,” she repeated.
“There is only one enemy,”
said Father Brown, “whom it is easier to kill
with a dagger than a sword.”
“I know,” said the woman. “Oneself.”
There was a long silence, and then
the priest said quietly but abruptly: “Am
I right, then? Did Sir Claude kill himself?”
“Yes” she said, with a
face like marble. “I saw him do it.”
“He died,” said Father Brown, “for
love of you?”
An extraordinary expression flashed
across her face, very different from pity, modesty,
remorse, or anything her companion had expected:
her voice became suddenly strong and full. “I
don’t believe,” she said, “he ever
cared about me a rap. He hated my husband.”
“Why?” asked the other,
and turned his round face from the sky to the lady.
“He hated my husband because...it
is so strange I hardly know how to say it...because...”
“Yes?” said Brown patiently.
“Because my husband wouldn’t hate him.”
Father Brown only nodded, and seemed
still to be listening; he differed from most detectives
in fact and fiction in a small point -he
never pretended not to understand when he understood
perfectly well.
Mrs Boulnois drew near once more with
the same contained glow of certainty. “My
husband,” she said, “is a great man.
Sir Claude Champion was not a great man: he was
a celebrated and successful man. My husband has
never been celebrated or successful; and it is the
solemn truth that he has never dreamed of being so.
He no more expects to be famous for thinking than
for smoking cigars. On all that side he has a
sort of splendid stupidity. He has never grown
up. He still liked Champion exactly as he liked
him at school; he admired him as he would admire a
conjuring trick done at the dinner-table. But
he couldn’t be got to conceive the notion of
envying Champion. And Champion wanted to be envied.
He went mad and killed himself for that.”
“Yes,” said Father Brown;
“I think I begin to understand.”
“Oh, don’t you see?”
she cried; “the whole picture is made for that -the
place is planned for it. Champion put John in
a little house at his very door, like a dependant -to
make him feel a failure. He never felt it.
He thinks no more about such things than -than
an absent-minded lion. Champion would burst in
on John’s shabbiest hours or homeliest meals
with some dazzling present or announcement or expedition
that made it like the visit of Haroun Alraschid, and
John would accept or refuse amiably with one eye off,
so to speak, like one lazy schoolboy agreeing or disagreeing
with another. After five years of it John had
not turned a hair; and Sir Claude Champion was a monomaniac.”
“And Haman began to tell them,”
said Father Brown, “of all the things wherein
the king had honoured him; and he said: ’All
these things profit me nothing while I see Mordecai
the Jew sitting in the gate.’”
“The crisis came,” Mrs
Boulnois continued, “when I persuaded John to
let me take down some of his speculations and send
them to a magazine. They began to attract attention,
especially in America, and one paper wanted to interview
him. When Champion (who was interviewed nearly
every day) heard of this late little crumb of success
falling to his unconscious rival, the last link snapped
that held back his devilish hatred. Then he began
to lay that insane siege to my own love and honour
which has been the talk of the shire. You will
ask me why I allowed such atrocious attentions.
I answer that I could not have declined them except
by explaining to my husband, and there are some things
the soul cannot do, as the body cannot fly. Nobody
could have explained to my husband. Nobody could
do it now. If you said to him in so many words,
’Champion is stealing your wife,’ he would
think the joke a little vulgar: that it could
be anything but a joke -that notion could
find no crack in his great skull to get in by.
Well, John was to come and see us act this evening,
but just as we were starting he said he wouldn’t;
he had got an interesting book and a cigar. I
told this to Sir Claude, and it was his death-blow.
The monomaniac suddenly saw despair. He stabbed
himself, crying out like a devil that Boulnois was
slaying him; he lies there in the garden dead of his
own jealousy to produce jealousy, and John is sitting
in the dining-room reading a book.”
There was another silence, and then
the little priest said: “There is only
one weak point, Mrs Boulnois, in all your very vivid
account. Your husband is not sitting in the dining-room
reading a book. That American reporter told me
he had been to your house, and your butler told him
Mr Boulnois had gone to Pendragon Park after all.”
Her bright eyes widened to an almost
electric glare; and yet it seemed rather bewilderment
than confusion or fear. “Why, what can you
mean?” she cried. “All the servants
were out of the house, seeing the theatricals.
And we don’t keep a butler, thank goodness!”
Father Brown started and spun half
round like an absurd teetotum. “What, what?”
he cried seeming galvanized into sudden life.
“Look here -I say -can I
make your husband hear if I go to the house?”
“Oh, the servants will be back
by now,” she said, wondering.
“Right, right!” rejoined
the cleric energetically, and set off scuttling up
the path towards the Park gates. He turned once
to say: “Better get hold of that Yankee,
or ‘Crime of John Boulnois’ will be all
over the Republic in large letters.”
“You don’t understand,”
said Mrs Boulnois. “He wouldn’t mind.
I don’t think he imagines that America really
is a place.”
When Father Brown reached the house
with the beehive and the drowsy dog, a small and neat
maid-servant showed him into the dining-room, where
Boulnois sat reading by a shaded lamp, exactly as his
wife described him. A decanter of port and a
wineglass were at his elbow; and the instant the priest
entered he noted the long ash stand out unbroken on
his cigar.
“He has been here for half an
hour at least,” thought Father Brown. In
fact, he had the air of sitting where he had sat when
his dinner was cleared away.
“Don’t get up, Mr Boulnois,”
said the priest in his pleasant, prosaic way.
“I shan’t interrupt you a moment.
I fear I break in on some of your scientific studies.”
“No,” said Boulnois; “I
was reading ‘The Bloody Thumb.’”
He said it with neither frown nor smile, and his visitor
was conscious of a certain deep and virile indifference
in the man which his wife had called greatness.
He laid down a gory yellow “shocker” without
even feeling its incongruity enough to comment on
it humorously. John Boulnois was a big, slow-moving
man with a massive head, partly grey and partly bald,
and blunt, burly features. He was in shabby and
very old-fashioned evening-dress, with a narrow triangular
opening of shirt-front: he had assumed it that
evening in his original purpose of going to see his
wife act Juliet.
“I won’t keep you long
from ‘The Bloody Thumb’ or any other catastrophic
affairs,” said Father Brown, smiling. “I
only came to ask you about the crime you committed
this evening.”
Boulnois looked at him steadily, but
a red bar began to show across his broad brow; and
he seemed like one discovering embarrassment for the
first time.
“I know it was a strange crime,”
assented Brown in a low voice. “Stranger
than murder perhaps -to you. The little
sins are sometimes harder to confess than the big
ones -but that’s why it’s so
important to confess them. Your crime is committed
by every fashionable hostess six times a week:
and yet you find it sticks to your tongue like a nameless
atrocity.”
“It makes one feel,” said
the philosopher slowly, “such a damned fool.”
“I know,” assented the
other, “but one often has to choose between
feeling a damned fool and being one.”
“I can’t analyse myself
well,” went on Boulnois; “but sitting in
that chair with that story I was as happy as a schoolboy
on a half-holiday. It was security, eternity -I
can’t convey it... the cigars were within reach...the
matches were within reach... the Thumb had four more
appearances to...it was not only a peace, but a plenitude.
Then that bell rang, and I thought for one long, mortal
minute that I couldn’t get out of that chair -literally,
physically, muscularly couldn’t. Then I
did it like a man lifting the world, because I knew
all the servants were out. I opened the front
door, and there was a little man with his mouth open
to speak and his notebook open to write in. I
remembered the Yankee interviewer I had forgotten.
His hair was parted in the middle, and I tell you
that murder -”
“I understand,” said Father Brown.
“I’ve seen him.”
“I didn’t commit murder,”
continued the Catastrophist mildly, “but only
perjury. I said I had gone across to Pendragon
Park and shut the door in his face. That is my
crime, Father Brown, and I don’t know what penance
you would inflict for it.”
“I shan’t inflict any
penance,” said the clerical gentleman, collecting
his heavy hat and umbrella with an air of some amusement;
“quite the contrary. I came here specially
to let you off the little penance which would otherwise
have followed your little offence.”
“And what,” asked Boulnois,
smiling, “is the little penance I have so luckily
been let off?”
“Being hanged,” said Father Brown.