The animals went in two by two.
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Given Bower for a last name, the boys
are bound to call you “Right” or “Left.”
They called me “Right” because I usually
held it, one way or another. I was shot with
luck. No matter what happened, it always worked
out to my advantage. All inside of six months,
for instance, the mate fell overboard and I got his
job; the skipper got drunk after weathering a cyclone
and ran the old Boldero aground in “lily-pad”
weather and I got his. Then the owner
called me in and said: “Captain Bower, what
do you know about Noah’s Ark?” And I said:
“Only that ’the animals went in two by
two. Hurrah! Hurrah!’” And the
owner said: “But how did he feed ’em specially
the meat-eaters?” And I said: “He
got hold of a Hindu who had his arm torn off by a
black panther and who now looks after the same at
the Calcutta Zoo and he put it up to him.”
“The Bible doesn’t say so,” said
the owner.
“Everything the Bible says is
true,” said I. “But there’re
heaps of true sayings, you know, that aren’t
in it at all.”
“Well,” says the owner,
“you slip out to yon Zoo and you put it up to
yon one-armed Hindu that a white Noah named Bower has
been ordered to carry pairs of all the Indian fauna
from Singapore to Sydney; and you tell him to shake
his black panther and ‘come along with.’”
“What will you pay?” I asked.
The owner winked his eye. “What
will I promise?” said he. “I leave
that to you.”
But I wasn’t bluffed. The
owner always talked pagan and practised Christian;
loved his little joke. They called him “Bond”
Hadley on the water-front to remind themselves that
his word was just as good.
I settled with Yir Massir in a long
confab back of the snake-house, and that night Hadley
blew me to Ivy Green’s benefit at the opera-house.
Poor little girl! There weren’t
fifty in the audience. She couldn’t act.
I mean she couldn’t draw. The whole company
was on the bum and stone-broke. They’d
scraped out of Australia and the Sandwich Islands,
but it looked as if they’d stay in Calcutta,
doing good works, such as mending roads for the public,
to the end of time.
“Ivy Green is a pretty name for a girl,”
said the owner.
“And Ivy Green is a pretty girl,”
I said; “and I’ll bet my horned soul she’s
a good girl.”
To tell the truth, I was taken with
her something terrible at first sight. I’d
often seen women that I wanted, but she was the first
girl and the last. It’s a different
sort of wanting, that. It’s the good in
you that wants instead of the bad.
Her little face was like the pansies
that used to grow in mother’s dooryard; and
a dooryard is the place for pansies, not a stage.
When her act was over the fifty present did their
best; but I knew, when she’d finished bobbing
little curtsies and smiling her pretty smile, she’d
slip off to her dressing-room and cry like a baby.
I couldn’t stand it. There were other acts
to come, but I couldn’t wait.
“If Ivy Green is a pretty name
for a girl, Ivy Bower is a prettier name for a woman,”
I said. “I’m going behind.”
He looked up, angry. Then he
saw that I didn’t mean any harm and he looked
down. He said nothing. I got behind by having
the pull on certain ropes in that opera-house, and
I asked a comedian with a face like a walrus which
was Miss Green’s dressing-room.
“Friend of hers?” he says.
“Yes,” says I, “a friend.”
He showed me which door and I knocked.
Her voice was full of worry and tears.
“Who’s there?” she said.
“A friend,” said I.
“Pass, friend,” said she.
And I took it to mean “Come
in,” but it didn’t. Still, she wasn’t
so dishabilled as to matter. She was crying and
rubbing off the last of her paint.
“Miss Green,” I said,
“you’ve made me feel so mean and miserable
that I had to come and tell you. My name is Bower.
The boys call me ‘Right’ Bower, meaning
that I’m lucky and straight. It was lucky
for me that I came to your benefit, and I hope to
God that it will be lucky for you.”
“Yes?” she says none too warm.
“As for you, Miss Green,”
I said, “you’re up against it, aren’t
you? The manager’s broke. You don’t
know when you’ve touched any salary. There’s
been no balm in your benefit. What are you going
to do?”
This time she looked me over before she spoke.
“I don’t know,” she said.
“I don’t have to ask,”
said I, blushing red, “if you’re a good
girl. It’s just naturally obvious.
I guess that’s what put me up to butting in.
I want to help. Will you answer three questions?”
She nodded.
“Where,” said I, “will
you get breakfast to-morrow? lunch to-morrow? and
dinner to-morrow?”
“We disband to-night,” she said, “and
I don’t know.”
“I suppose you know,”
said I, “what happens to most white girls who
get stranded in Indian cities?”
“I know,” she said, “that
people get up against it so hard that they oughtn’t
to be blamed for anything they do.”
“They aren’t,” I
said, “by Christians; but it’s
ugly just the same. Now ”
“And you,” she said, flaring
up, “think that, as long as it’s got to
be, it might as well be you! Is that your song
and dance, Mr. Smarty?”
I shook my head and smiled.
“Don’t be a little goat!”
I said; and that seemed to make her take to me and
trust me.
“What do you want me to do?” she asked.
“I’ll tell you,”
I said; and I found that it wasn’t easy.
“First place,” I said, “I’ve
got some money saved up. That will keep you on
Easy Street till I get back from Sydney. If by
that time nothing’s turned up that you want
of your own free heart and will, I’ll ask you
to pay me back by by changing your name.”
She didn’t quite follow.
“That,” said I, “gives
you a chance to look around gives you one
small chance in a million to light on some man you
can care for and who’ll care for you and take
care of you. Failing that, it would be fair enough
for you to take me, failing a better. See?”
“You mean,” she said,
“that if things don’t straighten out, it
would be better for me to become Mrs. Bower than walk
the streets? Is that it?”
I nodded.
“But I don’t see your
point of view,” she cried. “Just because
you’re sorry for a girl don’t mean you
want to make her your wife.”
“It isn’t sorrowing,”
I said. “It’s wanting. It’s
the right kind of wanting. It’s the wanting
that would rather wait than hurt you; that would rather
do without you than hurt you.”
“And you’ll trust me with
all your savings and go away to Australia and
if I find some other man that I like better you’ll
let me off from marrying you? Is that it?”
“That’s about it,” I said.
“And suppose,” says she,
“that you don’t come back, and nobody shows
up, and the money goes?”
That was a new point of view.
“Well,” said I, “we’ve got
to take some chances in this world.”
“We have,” said she.
“And now look here I don’t know
how much of it’s wanting and how much of it’s
fear but if you’ll take chances I
will.”
She turned as red as a beet and looked away.
“In words of two syllables,” said I, “what
do you mean?”
“I mean,” she said and
she was still as red as a beet, but this time she
looked me in my eyes without a flinch in hers “that
if you’re dead sure you want me are
you? if you’re dead sure, why, I’ll
take chances on my wanting you. I believe every
word you’ve said to me. Is that right?”
“Every word,” I said. “That
is right.”
Then we looked at each other for a long time.
“What a lot we’ll have
to tell each other,” she said, “before
we’re really acquainted. But you’re
sure? You’re quite sure?”
“Sure that I want you?
Yes,” I said; “not sure that you ought
not to wait and think me over.”
“You’ve begun,”
she said, “with everything that’s noble
and generous. I could never look myself in the
face again if I felt called upon to begin by being
mean.”
“Hadn’t you better think it over?”
I said. “Hadn’t you?”
But she put her hands on my shoulders.
“If an angel with wings had
come with gifts,” she said, “would I have
thought them over? And just because your wings
don’t show ”
“It isn’t fair,”
I mumbled. “I give you a choice between
the streets and me and you feel forced to choose me.”
But she pulled my head down and gave
me a quick, fierce kiss.
“There,” said she “was
that forced? Did you force me to do that?
No,” she said; “you needn’t think
you’re the only person in the world that wants
another person.... If you go to Australia I don’t
wait here. I go too. If you sink by the
way, I sink. And don’t you go to thinking
you’ve made me a one-sided bargain....
I can cook for you and mend for you and save for you.
And if you’re sick I can nurse you. And
I can black your boots.”
“I thought,” said I, “that
you were just a little girl that I wanted, but you
turn out to be the whole world that I’ve got
to have. Slip the rest of your canvas on and
I’ll hook it up for you. Then we’ll
find some one to marry us ’nless
you’d rather wait.”
“Wait?” said she, turning
her back and standing still, which most women haven’t
sense enough to do when a man’s ten thumbs are
trying to hook them up. “I’ve been
waiting all my life for this and you!”
“And I,” said I, splitting
a thumb-nail, “would go through an eternity
of hell if I knew that this was at the end of it and
you!”
“What is your church?” she asked of a
sudden.
“Same as yours,” I said, “which
is ”
“Does it matter,” said she, “if
God is in it? Do you pray?”
“No,” said I; “do you?”
“Always,” she said, “before I go
to bed.”
“Then I will,” said I; “always before
we do.”
“Sometimes,” she said,
“I’ve been shaken about God. Was to-night before
you came. But He’s made good hasn’t
He?”
“He has,” I said.
“And now you’re hooked up. And I wish
it was to do all over again. I loved doing it.”
“Did you?” said she.
Her eyes were bright and brave like
two stars. She slipped her hand through my arm
and we marched out of the opera-house. Half a
dozen young globe-trotters were at the stage-door
waiting to take a chance on Miss Green as she came
out, but none of them spoke. We headed for the
nearest city directory and looked up a minister.
II
I had married April; she cried when
she thought she wasn’t good enough for me; she
smiled like the sun when I swore she was.
I had married June; she was like an armful of roses.
We weren’t two; we were one. What alloy
does gold make mixed with brass?
We were that alloy. I was the brass.
We travelled down to Singapore first-class,
with one-armed Yir Massir to look after us down
the old Hoogli with the stubs of half-burned Hindus
bobbing alongside, crows sitting on ’em and tearing
off strips. We ran aground on all the regular
old sand-bars that are never twice in the same place;
and one dusk we saw tigers come out of the jungle to
drink. We’d both travelled quite some,
but you wouldn’t have thought it. Ivy Bower
and Right Bower had just run away from school for to
see the world “so new and all.”
Some honey-moons a man keeps finding
out things about his wife that he don’t like little
tricks of temper and temperature; but I kept finding
out things about mine that I’d never even dared
to hope for. I went pretty near crazy with love
of her. At first she was a child that had had
a wicked, cruel nightmare and I’d
happened to be about to comfort her when she waked
and to soothe her. Then she got over her scare
and began to play at matrimony, putting on little
airs and dignities just like a child playing
grown-up. Then all of a sudden it came to her,
that tremendous love that some women have for some
of us dogs of men. It was big as a storm, but
it wasn’t too big for her. Nothing that’s
noble and generous was too big for her; nor was any
way of showing her love too little. Any little
mole-hill of thoughtfulness from me was changed presto! into
a chain o’ mountains; but she thought in mountains
and made mole-hills of ’em.
We steamed into Singapore and I showed
her the old Boldero, that was to be our home,
laid against the Copra Wharf, waiting to be turned
into an ark. The animals weren’t all collected
and we had a day or two to chase about and enjoy ourselves;
but she wasn’t for expensive pleasures.
“Wait,” she said, “till
you’re a little tired of me; but now, when we’re
happy just to be together walking in the dust, what’s
the use of disbursing?”
“If we save till I’m tired
of you,” says I, “we’ll be rich.”
“Rich it is, then,” said
she, “for those who will need it more.”
“But,” says I, “the
dictionary says that a skunk is a man that economizes
on his honey-moon.”
“If you’re bound to blow
yourself,” says she, “let’s trot
down to the Hongkong-Shanghai Bank and buy some shares
in something.”
“But,” says I, “you have no engagement
ring.”
“And I’m not engaged,” says she.
“I’m a married woman.”
“You’re a married child.”
“My husband’s arm around
my waist is my ring,” says she; “his heart
is my jewel.”
Even if it had been broad daylight
and people looking, I’d have put her ring on
her at that. But it was dark, in a park of trees
and benches just like Central Park.
“With this ring,” says I, “I thee
guard from all evil.”
“But there is no evil,”
said she. “The world’s all new; it’s
been given a fresh start. There’s no evil.
The apple’s back on the tree of knowledge.
Éden’s come back and it’s
spring in Eden.”
“And among other items,”
says I, “that we’ve invoiced for Sydney
is a python thirty feet long.”
“Look!” says she.
A girl sat against one of the stems
of a banyan, and a Tommy lay on his back with his
head in her lap. She was playing with his hair.
You could just see them for the dark.
“‘And they lived on the
square like a true married pair,’” says
I.
“Can’t people be naughty and good?”
says she.
“No,” says I; “good and naughty
only.”
“Suppose,” says she, “you
and I felt about each other the way we do, but you
were married to a rich widow in Lisbon and I was married
to a wicked old Jew in Malta would that
make you Satan and me Jezebel?”
“No,” says I; “only me. Nothing
could change you.” She thought a little.
“No,” says she; “I
don’t think anything could. But there isn’t
any wicked old Jew. You know that.”
“And you know about the rich widow?”
“What about her?” This said sharp, with
a tug at my arm to unwrap it.
“She was born in Singapore,”
said I, “of a silly goose by an idle thought.
And two minutes later she died.”
“There’s nothing that
can ever hurt us is there? nothing
that’s happened and gone before?”
Man that is born of woman ought not
to have that question put up to him; but she didn’t
let me answer.
“Because, if there is,”
she said, “it’s lucky I’m here to
look after us.”
“Could I do anything that you wouldn’t
forgive?”
“If you turned away from me,” she said,
“I’d die but I’d forgive.”
Next daylight she was leaning on the
rail of the Boldero watching the animals come
over the side and laughing to see them turn their heads
to listen to what old Yir Massir said to them in Hindustani.
He spoke words of comfort, telling them not to be
afraid; and they listened. Even Bahut, the
big elephant, as the slings tightened and he swung
dizzily heavenward, cocked his moth-eaten ears to
listen and refrained from whimpering, though the pit
of his stomach was cold with fear; and he worked his
toes when there was nothing under them but water.
“The elephant is the strongest
of all things,” I said, “and the most
gentle.”
Her little fingers pressed my arm,
which was like marble in those days.
“No,” said she “the man!”
III
That voyage was good, so far as it
went, but there’s no use talking about it, because
what came afterward was better. We’d no
sooner backed off the Copra Wharf and headed down
the straits, leaving a trail of smoke and tiger smell,
than Ivy went to house-keeping on the Boldero.
There are great house-keepers, just as there are great
poets and actors. It takes genius; that’s
all. And Ivy had that kind of genius. Yir
Massir had a Hindu saying that fitted her like a glove.
He looked in upon her work of preparing and systematizing
for the cramped weeks at sea and said: “The
little mem-sahib is a born woman.”
That’s just what she is.
There are born idiots and born leaders. Some
are born male and some female; but a born woman is
the rarest thing in the world, the most useful and
the most precious. She had never kept house,
but there was nothing for her to learn. She worked
things so that whenever I could come off duty she
was at leisure to give all her care and thought to
me.
There was never a millionaire who
had more speckless white suits than I had, though
it’s a matter almost of routine for officers
to go dirty on anything but the swell liners.
Holes in socks grew together under her fingers, so
that you had to look close to see where they’d
been. She even kept a kind of dwarf hibiscus,
with bright red flowers, alive and flourishing in
the thick salt air; and she was always slipping into
the galley to give a new, tasty turn to the old sea-standbys.
The crew, engineer, and stokers
were all Chinks. Hadley always put his trust
in them and they come cheap. We had forty coolies
who berthed forward, going out on contract to work
on a new government dry-dock at Paiulu. I don’t
mind a Chink myself, so long as he keeps his habits
to himself and doesn’t over-smoke; but they’re
not sociable. Except for Yir Massir and myself,
there was no one aboard for Ivy to talk to. Yir
Massir’s duty kept him busy with the health of
the collection for the Sydney Zoo, and Ivy found time
to help, to advise, and to learn. They made as
much fuss between them over the beasts as if they had
been babies; and the donkey-engine was busy most of
the day hoisting cages to the main-deck and lowering
them again, so that the beasts could have a better
look at the sea and a bit of sun and fresh air.
As it was, a good many of the beasts and all the birds
roomed on the main-deck all the time. Sometimes
Yir Massir would take out a chetah a nasty,
snarling, pin-headed piece of long-legged malice and
walk him up and down on a dog-chain, same as a woman
walks her King Charlie. He gave the monkeys all
the liberty they could use and abuse; it was good sport
to see them chase themselves and each other over the
masts and upper-works.
The most you can say of going out
with a big tonnage of beasts is that, if you’re
healthy and have no nerves, you can just stand it.
Sometimes they’ll all howl together for five
or six hours at a time; sometimes they’ll all
be logy and still as death, except one tiger, who can’t
make his wants understood and who’ll whine and
rumble about them all round the clock. I don’t
know which is worse, the chorus or the solo. And
then, of course, the smell side to the situation isn’t
a matter for print. If I say that we had twenty
hogsheads of disinfectants and deodorizers along it’s
all you need know. Anyhow, according to Yir Massir,
it was the smell that killed big Bahut’s mate.
And she’d been brought up in an Indian village
and ought to have been used to all the smells, from
A to Z.
One elephant more or less doesn’t
matter to me, especially when it’s insured,
but Yir Massir’s grief and self-reproach were
appalling; and Ivy felt badly too. It was as
much for her sake as Yir Massir’s that I read
a part of the burial service out of the prayer-book
and committed the body of “this our sister”
to the deep. It may have been sacrilegious, but
I don’t care. It comforted Ivy some and
Yir Massir a heap. And it did this to me, that
I can’t look at a beast now without thinking
that well, that there’s not such an
awful lot of difference between two legs and four,
and that maybe God put Himself out just as much to
make one as the other.
We swung her overside by heavy tackle.
What with the roll of the ship and the fact that she
swung feet down, she looked alive; and the funeral
looked more like a drowning than a burial.
We had no weights to sink her; and
when I gave the word to cut loose she made a splash
like a small tidal wave and then floated.
We could see her for an hour, like
a bit of a slate-colored island with white gulls sitting
on it.
And that night Yir Massir waited on
us looking like some old crazy loon out of the Bible.
He’d made himself a prickly shirt of sackcloth
and had smeared his black head and brown face with
gray ashes. Big Bahut whimpered all night
and trumpeted as if his heart were broken.
IV
I’ve often noticed that when
things happen it’s in bunches. The tenth
day south of the line we had a look at almost all the
sea-events that are made into woodcuts for the high-school
geographies. For days we’d seen nothing
except sapphire-blue sea, big swells rolling under
a satin finish without breaking through, and a baby-blue
sky. On the morning of the tenth the sea was
streaked with broad, oily bands, like State roads,
and near and far were whales travelling south at about
ten knots an hour, as if they had a long way to go.
We saw heaps of porpoises and heaps
of flying-fish; some birds; unhewn timber a
nasty lot of it and big floats of sea-weed.
We saw a whale being pounded to death by a killer;
and in the afternoon as perfect an example of a brand-new
coral island as was ever seen. It looked like
a ring of white snow floating on the water, and inside
the ring was a careened two-master just
the ribs and stumps left. There was a water-spout
miles off to port, and there was a kind of electric
jump and thrill to the baked air that made these things
seem important, like omens in ancient times.
Besides, the beasts, from Bahut the elephant to
little Assam the mongoose, put in the whole day at
practising the noises of complaint and uneasiness.
Then, directly it was dark, we slipped into a “white
sea.” That’s a rare sight and it has
never been very well explained. The water looks
as though it had been mixed with a quantity of milk,
but when you dip it up it’s just water.
About midnight we ran out of this
and Ivy and I turned in. The sky was clear as
a bell and even the beasts were quiet. I hadn’t
been asleep ten minutes and Ivy not at all, when all
at once hell broke loose. There was a bump that
nearly drove my head through a bulkhead; though only
half awake I could feel to the cold marrow of my bones
that the old Boldero was down by the head.
The beasts knew it and the Chinks. Never since
Babel was there such pandemonium on earth or sea.
By a struck match I saw Ivy running out of the cabin
and slipping on her bath-wrapper as she went.
I called to her, but she didn’t answer.
I didn’t want to think of anything but Ivy,
but I had to let her go and think of the ship.
There wasn’t much use in thinking.
The old Boldero was settling by the head and
the pumps couldn’t hold up the inflood.
In fifteen minutes I knew that it was all up with
us or all down, rather and I
ordered the boats over and began to run about like
a maniac, looking for Ivy and calling to her.
And why do you suppose I couldn’t find her?
She was hiding hiding from me!
She’d heard of captains of sinking
ships sending off their wives and children and sweethearts
and staying behind to drown out of a mistaken notion
of duty. She’d got it into her head that
I was that kind of captain and she’d hid so
that she couldn’t be sent away; but it was all
my fault really. If I’d hurried her on deck
the minute I did find her we’d have been in
time to leave with the boats. But I stopped for
explanations and to give her a bit of a lecture; so
when we got on deck there were the boats swarming
with Chinks slipping off to windward and
there at our feet was Yir Massir, lying in his own
blood and brains, a wicked, long knife in his hand
and the thread outpiece of a Chink’s pigtail
between his teeth.
I like to think that he’d tried
to make them wait for us, but I don’t know.
Anyhow, there we were, alone on a sinking deck and
all through with earthly affairs as I reckoned it.
But Ivy reckoned differently.
“Why are they rowing in that
direction?” she says. “They won’t
get anywhere.”
“Why not?” says I.
She jerked her thumb to leeward.
“Don’t you feel that it’s
over there? the land?” she says.
“Just over there.”
“Why, no, bless you!”
says I. “I don’t have any feeling
about it.... Now then, we’ve got to hustle
around and find something that will float us.
We want to get out of this before the old Boldero
goes and sucks us down after.”
“There’s the life-raft,” says she;
“they left that.”
“Yes,” says I; “if
we can get it overboard. It weighs a ton.
You make up a bundle of food on the jump, Ivy, and
I’ll try to rig a tackle.”
When the raft was floating quietly
alongside I felt better. It looked then as if
we were to have a little more run for our money.
We worked like a couple of furies
loading on food and water, Ivy lowering and I lashing
fast.
“There,” says I at last;
“she won’t take any more. Come along.
I can help you down better from here.”
“We’ve got to let the beasts loose,”
says she.
“Why?” says I.
“Oh, just to give ’em a chance,”
she says.
So I climbs back to where she was standing.
“It’s rot!” I says. “But
if you say so ”
“There’s loads of time,”
says she “we’re not settling
so fast. Besides, even if I’m wrong about
the land, they’ll know. They’ll show
us which way to go. Big Bahut, he knows.”
“It don’t matter,”
I says. “We can’t work the raft any
way but to leeward not one man can’t.”
“If the beasts go the other
way,” says she, “one man must try and one
woman.”
“Oh, we’ll try,” says I, “right
enough. We’ll try.”
The first beast we loosed was the
python. Ivy did the loosing and I stood by with
a big rifle to guard against trouble; but, bless you,
there was no need. One and all, the beasts knew
the old Boldero was doomed, and one and all
they cried and begged and made eyes and signs to be
turned loose. As for knowing where the nearest
land was well, if you’d seen the
python, when he came to the surface, make a couple
of loopy turns to get his bearings and his wriggles
in order, and then hike off to leeward in a bee-line you’d
have believed that he well, that he knew
what he was talking about.
And the beasts, one and all, big and
little, the minute they were loosed, wanted to get
overboard even the cats; and off they went
to leeward in the first flush of dawn, horned heads,
cat heads, pig heads the darnedest game
of follow-my-leader that ever the skies looked down
on. And the birds, white and colored, streaked
out over the beasts. There was a kind of wonder
to it all that eased the pinch of fear. Ivy clapped
her hands and jumped up and down like a child when
it sees the grand entry in Buffalo Bill’s show
for the first time or the last, for that
matter.
There was some talk of taking a tow-line
from around Bahut’s neck to the raft; but the
morning breeze was freshening and with a sail rigged
the raft would swim pretty fast herself. Anyway,
we couldn’t fix it to get big Bahut overboard.
The best we could do was to turn him loose, open all
the hatches, and trust to his finding a way out when
the Boldero settled.
He did, bless him! We weren’t
two hundred yards clear when the Boldero gave
a kind of shudder and went down by the bows, Bahut
yelling bloody murder. Then, just when we’d
given him up for lost, he shot up from the depths,
half-way out of water. After blowing his nose
and getting his bearings he came after the raft like
a good old tugboat.
We stood up, Ivy and I did, and cheered
him as he caught up with us and foamed by.
The worst kind of remembering is remembering
what you’ve forgotten. I got redder and
redder. It didn’t seem as if I could tell
Ivy; but I did. First I says, hopeful:
“Have you forgotten anything?”
She shakes her head.
“I have,” says I.
“I’ve left my rifle, but I’ve got
plenty of cartridges. I’ve got a box of
candles, but I’ve forgotten to bring matches.
A nice, thoughtful husband you’ve got!”
V
The beasts knew.
There was land just around the first
turn of the world land that had what might
be hills when you got to ’em and that was pale
gray against the sun, with all the upper-works gilded;
but it wasn’t big land. You could see the
north and south limits; and the trees on the hills
could probably see the ocean to the east.
They were funny trees, those; and
others just like them had come down to the cove to
meet us when we landed. They were a kind of pine
and the branches grew in layers, with long spaces
between. Since then I’ve seen trees just
like them, but very little, in florists’ windows;
only the florists’ trees have broad scarlet
sashes round their waists, by way of decoration, maybe,
or out of deference to Anthony Comstock.
The cove had been worked out by a
brook that came loafing down a turfy valley, with
trees single and in spinneys, for all the world like
an English park; and at the upper end of the valley,
cutting the island in half lengthwise, as we learned
later, the little wooded hills rolled north and south,
and low spurs ran out from them, so as to make the
valley a valley instead of a plain.
There were flocks of goats in the
valley, which was what made the grass so turfy, I
suppose; and our own deer and antelopes were browsing
near them, friendly as you please. Near at hand
big Bahut, who had been the last but us to land,
was quietly munching the top of a broad-leafed tree
that he’d pulled down; but the cats and riffraff
had melted into the landscape. So had the birds,
except a pair of jungle-fowl, who’d found seed
near the cove and were picking it up as fast as they
could and putting it away.
“Well,” says I, “it’s
an island, sure, Ivy. The first thing to do is
to find out who lives on it, owns it, and dispenses
its hospitality, and make up to them.”
But she shook her head and said seriously:
“I’ve a feeling, Right,”
she says “a kind of hunch that
there’s nobody on it but us.”
I laughed at her then, but half a
day’s tramping proved that she was right.
I tell you women have ways of knowing things that we
men haven’t. The fact is, civilization
slides off ’em like water off a duck; and at
heart and by instinct they are people of the cave-dwelling
period on cut-and-dried terms with ghosts
and spirits, all the unseen sources of knowledge that
man has grown away from.
I had sure proofs of this in the way
Ivy took to the cave we found in a bunch of volcano
rock that lifted sheer out of the cove and had bright
flowers smiling out of all its pockets. No society
lady ever entered her brand-new marble house at Newport
with half the happiness.
Ivy was crazy about the cave and never
tired of pointing out its advantages. She went
to house-keeping without any of the utensils, as keen
and eager as she’d gone to it on the poor old
Boldero, where at least there were pots and
pans and pepper.
We had grub to last a few weeks, a
pair of blankets, the clothes we stood in, and an
axe. I had, besides, a heavy clasp-knife, a watch,
and seven sovereigns. The first thing Ivy insisted
on was a change of clothes.
“These we stand in,” says
she, “are the only presentable things we’ve
got, and Heaven only knows how long they’ve got
to last us for best.”
“We could throw modesty to the winds,”
I suggested.
“Of course you can do as you
please,” she said. “I don’t
care one way or the other about the modesty; but I’ve
got a skin that looks on the sun with distinct aversion,
and I don’t propose to go through a course of
yellow blisters and then turn black.”
“I’ve seen islanders weave
cloth out of palm fibre most any kind,”
I said. “It’s clumsy and airy; but
if you think it would do ”
“It sounds scratchy.”
“It is, but it’s good for the circulation.”
Well, we made a kind of cloth and
cut it into shapes, and knotted the shapes together
with more fibre; then we folded up our best and only
Sunday-go-to-meeting suits and put the fibre things
on; and then we went down to the cove to look at ourselves
in the water. And Ivy laughed.
“We’re not clothed,”
she said; “we’re thatched; and yet and
yet it’s accident, of course, but
this skirt has got a certain hang that ”
“Whatever that skirt’s
got,” I said, “these pants haven’t;
but if you’re happy I am.”
Well, there’s worse situations
than desert-islanding it with the one woman in the
world. I even know one man who claims he was cast
away with a perfect stranger that he hated the sight
of at first a terribly small-minded, conventional
woman and still he had the time of his life.
They got to like each other over a mutual taste for
cribbage, which they played for sea-shells, yellow
with a pink edge, until the woman went broke and got
heavily in debt to the man. He was nice about
it and let her off. He says the affair must have
ended in matrimony, only she took a month to think
it over; during that month they were picked up and
carried to Honolulu; then they quarrelled and never
saw each other again.
“Ivy,” said I one day,
“we’ll be picked up by a passing steamer
some day, of course, but meanwhile I’d rather
be here with you than any place I can name.”
“It’s Eden,” she
said, “and I’d like to live like this always.
But ”
“But what?”
“But people grow old,”
she said, “and one dies before another.
That’s what’s wrong with Eden.”
I laughed at her.
“Old! You and I? We’ll cross
that bridge when we come to it, Ivy Bower.”
“Right Bower,” says she, “you don’t
understand ”
“How not understand?”
“You don’t understand
that Right Bower and Ivy Bower aren’t the only
people on this island.”
She didn’t turn a fiery red
and bolt the way young wives do in stories.
She looked at me with steady, brave, considering eyes.
“Don’t worry, dear,”
she says after a time; “everything will be all
right. I know it will.”
“I know it too.” I lied.
Know it? I was cold with fright.
“Don’t be afraid,”
said she. “And and meanwhile
there’s dinner to be got ready and
you can have a go at your firesticks.”
It was my ambition to get fire by
friction. Now and then I got the sticks to smoke
and I hoped that practice would give me the little
extra speed and cunning that makes for flame.
I’d always been pretty good at games, if a little
slow to learn.
VI
You’d think anxiety about Ivy’d
have been the hardest thing to bear in the life we
were living; and so it would have been if she’d
showed any anxiety about herself. Not she.
You might have thought she was looking forward to
a Christmas-box from home. If she was ever scared
it was when I wasn’t looking. No it
was the beasts that made us anxious.
At first we’d go for long walks
and make explorations up and down the island.
The beasts hid from us according to the wild nature
that’s in them. You could only tell from
fresh tracks in damp places that they hadn’t
utterly disappeared. Now and then we saw deer
and antelopes far off; and at night, of course, there
was always something doing in the way of a chorus.
Beasts that gave our end of the island the go-by daytimes
paid us visits nights and sat under the windows, you
may say, and sang their songs.
It seemed natural after a time to
be cooped up in a big green prison with a lot of loose
wild things that could bite and tear you to pieces
if they thought of it. We were hard to scare.
What scared me first was this: When we got to
the island it was alive with goats. Well, these
just casually disappeared. Then, one morning,
bright and early, I came on the big python in the
act of swallowing a baby antelope. It gave me
a horrid start and set me thinking. How long
could the island support a menagerie? What would
the meat-eaters do when they’d killed off all
the easy meat finished up the deer and
antelopes and all? Would they fight it out among
themselves big tiger eat little tiger until
only the fittest one survived? And what would
that fittest one do if he got good and hungry and
began to think that I’d make a square meal for
him or Ivy?
I reached two conclusions and
the cave about the same time. First, I wouldn’t
tell Ivy I was scared. Second, I’d make
fire by friction or otherwise or bust.
Once I got fire, I’d never let it go out.
I set to work with the firesticks right off, and Ivy
came and stood by and looked on.
“Never saw you put so much elbow-grease
into anything,” she said. “What’s
the matter with you, anyway?”
“It’s a game,” I
grunted, “and these two fellows will have me
beat if I don’t look lively.”
“Right Bower,” she says
then, slow and deliberate, “I can see you’re
upside down about something. Tell Ivy.”
“Look,” says I “smoke!
I never got it so quick before.” I spun
the pointed stick between the palms of my hands harder
than ever and gloated over the wisp of smoke that
came from where it was boring into the flat stick.
“Make a bow,” says Ivy.
“Loop the bowstring round the hand-piece and
you’ll get more friction with less work.”
“By gorry!” says I; “you’re
right. I remember a picture in a geography ’Native
Drilling a Conch Shell.’ Fool that I am
to forget!”
“Guess you and I learned out
of the same geography,” said Ivy.
“Only I didn’t learn,”
said I. “I’m off to cut something
tough to make the bow.”
“Don’t go far,” she says.
“Why not?” said I the
sporty way a man does when he pretends that he’s
going to take a night off with the boys and play poker.
“Because,” she says smiling,
“I’m afraid the beasts will get me while
you’re gone.”
“Rats!” says I.
“Tigers!” says she.
“Oh, Right, you unplumbable old idiot! Do
you think you can come into this cave and hide anything
from me under that transparent face of yours?
The minute you came in and hemmed and hawed, and said
as you had nothing to do you guessed you’d have
a go with the firesticks I knew. What
scared you?”
I surrendered and told her.
“... And then,” she
said, “you think maybe they’ll hurt us?”
I nodded.
“Why, it’s war,”
she said. “I’ve read enough about
war to know that there are two safe rules to follow.
First, declare war yourself while the other fellow’s
thinking about it; and then strike him before he’s
even heard that you have declared it. That sounds
mixed, but it’s easy enough. We’ll
declare war on the dangerous beasts while I’m
still in the months of hop, skip, and jump.”
“A certain woman,” said
I, “wouldn’t let the beasts go down in
the old Boldero, as would have been beneficial
for all parties.”
“This is different,” she
said. “This island’s got to be a safe
place for a little child to play in or Ivy Bower’s
got to be told the reason why.”
“You’re dead right, Ivy
dear,” I says, “and always was. But
how? I’m cursed if I know how to kill a
tiger without a rifle.... Let’s get fire
first and put the citadel in a state of siege.
Then we’ll try our hand at traps, snares, and
pitfalls. I’m strong, but I’m cursed
if I want to fall on a tiger with nothing in my hands
but a knife or an axe.”
“All I care about,” said
Ivy, “is to get everything settled, so that
when the time comes we can be comfortable and plenty
domestic.”
She sat in the mouth of the cave and
looked over the smooth cove to the rolling ocean beyond;
and she had the expression of a little girl playing
at being married with a little boy friend in the playhouse
that her father had just given her for her birthday.
I got a piece of springy wood to make
a bow with, and sat by her shaping it with my knife.
That night we got fire. Ivy caught some fish in
the cove and we cooked them; and thanks,
O Lord! how good they were! We sat
up very late comparing impressions, each saying how
each felt when the smoke began to show sparks and
when the tinder pieces finally caught, and how each
had felt when the broiled smell of the fish had begun
to go abroad in the land. We told each other of
all the good things we had eaten in our day, but how
this surpassed them all. And later we told each
other all our favorite names boy names in
case it should be a boy and girl names in case it
shouldn’t.
Then, suddenly, something being hunted
by something tore by in the dark not very
far off. The sweat came off me in buckets, and
I heaped wood on the fire and flung burning brands
into the night, this way and that, as far as I could
fling them. Ivy said I was like Jupiter trying
to hurl thunder-bolts, after the invention of Christianity,
and not rightly understanding why they wouldn’t
explode any more.
VII
The pines of the island were full
of pitch and a branch would burn torch-like for a
long time. I kept a bundle of such handy, the
short ends sharpened so’s you could stick ’em
round wherever the ground was soft enough and have
an effect of altar candles in a draughty church.
If there was occasion to leave the cave at night I’d
carry one of the torches and feel as safe as if it
had been an elephant rifle.
We made a kind of a dooryard in front
of the cave’s mouth, with a stockade that we
borrowed from Robinson Crusoe, driving pointed stakes
close-serried and hoping they’d take root and
sprout; but they didn’t. Between times
I made finger-drawings in the sand of plans for tiger
traps and pitfalls. I couldn’t dig pits,
but I knew of two that might have been made to my
order, a volcano having taken the contract. They
were deep as wells, sheer-sided; anything that fell
in would stay in. I made a wattle-work of branches
and palm fibre to serve as lids for these nature-made
tiger jars. The idea was to toss dead fish out
to the middle of the lids for bait; then for one of
the big cats to smell the fish, step out to get it,
and fall through. Once in, it would be child’s
work to stone him to death.
Another trap I made was more complicated
and was a scheme to drop trees heavy enough to break
a camel’s back or whatever touched the trigger
that kept them from falling. It was the devil’s
own job to make that trap. First place, I couldn’t
cut a tree big enough and lift it to a strategic position;
so I had to fell trees in such a way that they’d
be caught half-way to the ground by other trees.
Then I’d have to clear away branches and roots
so that when the trees did fall the rest of the way
it would be clean, plumb, and sudden. It was a
wonderful trap when it was finished and it was the
most dangerous work of art I ever saw. If you
touched any of a dozen triggers you stood to have a
whole grove of trees come banging down on top of you same
as if you went for a walk in the woods and a tornado
came along and blew the woods down. If the big
cats had known how frightfully dangerous that trap
was they’d have jumped overboard and left the
island by swimming. I made two other traps something
like it the best contractor in New York
wouldn’t have undertaken to build one just like
it at any price and then it came around
to be the seventh day, so to speak; and, like the six-day
bicycle rider, I rested.
“Days,” is only a fashion
of speaking. I was months getting my five death-traps
into working order. I couldn’t work steadily
because there was heaps of cavework to do besides,
fish to be caught, wood to be cut for the fire, and
all; and then, dozens of times, I’d suddenly
get scared about Ivy and go running back to the cave
to see if she was all right. I might have known
better; she was always all right and much better plucked
than I was.
Well, sir, my traps wouldn’t
work. The fish rotted on the wattle-lids of the
pitfalls, but the beasts wouldn’t try for ’em.
They were getting ravenous, too ready to
attack big Bahut even; but they wouldn’t
step out on those wattles and they wouldn’t
step under my balanced trees. They’d beat
about the neighborhood of the danger and I’ve
found many a padmark within six inches of the edge
of things. I even baited with a live kid.
It belonged to the Thibet goats and I had a hard time
catching it; and after it had bleated all night and
done its baby best to be tiger food I turned it loose
and it ran off with its mammy. She, poor soul,
had gone right into the trap to be with her baby and,
owing to the direct intervention of Providence, hadn’t
sprung the thing.
The next fancy bait I tried was a
chetah dead. I found him just after
his accident, not far from the cave. He was still
warm; and he was flat very flat, like a
rug made of chetah skin. He had some shreds of
elephant-hide tangled in his claws. It looked
to me as if he’d gotten desperate with hunger
and had pounced on big Bahut pshaw!
the story was in plain print: “Ouch!”
says big Bahut. “A flea has bitten
me. Here’s where I play dead,” and rolls
over. Result: one neat and very flat rug
made out of chetah.
I showed the rug to Ivy and then carried
it off to the woods and spread it in my first and
fanciest trap. Then I allowed I’d have a
look at the pitfalls, which I hadn’t visited
for a couple of days and I was a fool to
do it. I’d told Ivy where I was going to
spread the chetah and that after that I’d come
straight home. Well, the day seemed young and
I thought if I hurried I could go home the roundabout
way by the pitfalls in such good time that Ivy wouldn’t
know the difference. Well, sir, I came to the
first pitfall and, lo and behold! something
had been and taken the bait and got away with it without
so much as putting a foot through the wattling.
I’d woven it too strong. So I thought I’d
just weaken it up a little it wouldn’t
take five minutes. I tried it with my foot very
gingerly. Yes, it was too strong much
too strong. I put more weight into that foot and
bang, smash, crash bump! There I was
at the bottom of the pit, with half the wattling on
top of me.
The depth of that hole was full twenty-five
feet; the sides were as smooth as bottle-glass; dusk
was turning into dark. But these things weren’t
the worst of it. I’d told Ivy that I’d
do one thing and I’d gone and done
another. I’d lied to her and I’d put
her in for a time of anxiety, and then fright, that
might kill her.
VIII
I wasted what little daylight was
left trying to climb out, using nothing but hands
and feet. And then I sat down and cursed myself
for a triple-plated, copper-riveted, patent-applied-for
fool. Nothing would have been easier, given light,
than to take the wattling that had fallen into the
pit with me to pieces, build a pole sort
of a split-bamboo fishing-rod on a big scale shin
up and go home. But to turn that trick in the
dark wasn’t any fun. I did it though twice.
I made the first pole too light and it smashed when
I was half-way up. A splinter jabbed into my
thigh and drew blood. That complicated matters.
The smell of the blood went out of the pit and travelled
around the island like a sandwich man saying:
“Fine supply of fresh meat about to come out
of Right Bower’s pet pitfall; second on the
left.”
When I’d shinned to the top
of the second pole I built and crawled over the rim
of the pit there was a tiger sitting, waiting,
very patient. I could just make him out in the
starlight. He was mighty lean and looked like
a hungry gutter-cat on a big scale. Some people
are afraid to be alone in the dark. I’m
not. Well, I just knelt there I’d
risen to my knees and stared at him.
And then I began to take in a long breath I
swelled and swelled with it. It’s a wonder
I didn’t use up all the air on the island and
create a vacuum in which case the tiger
would have blown up. I remember wondering what
that big breath was going to do when it came out.
I didn’t know. I had no plan. I looked
at the tiger and he looked at me and whined like
a spoiled spaniel asking for sugar. That was
too much. I thought of Ivy, maybe needing me as
she’d never needed any one before and
I looked at that stinking cat that meant to keep me
from her. I made one jump at him ’stead
of him at me and at the same time I let
out the big breath I’d drawn in a screech that
very likely was heard in Jericho.
The tiger just vanished like a Cheshire
cat in a book I read once, and I was running through
the night for home and Ivy. But the fire at the
cave was dying, and Ivy was gone.
Well, of course she’d have gone
to look for me.... It was then that I began to
whimper and cry. I lit a pine-torch, flung some
wood on the embers, and went out to look for her whimpering
all the time. I’d told her that I was going
out to bait a certain trap and would then come straight
home. So of course she’d have gone straight
to that trap and it was there I found her.
The torch showed her where she sat,
right near the dead chetah, in the very centre of
the trap triggers all about her to
touch one of which spelt death; and all around the
trap, in a ring like an audience at a one-ring
circus were the meat-eaters the
tigers the lions the leopards and,
worst of all, the pigs. There she sat and there
they sat and no one moved except
me with the torch.
She lifted her great eyes to me and
she smiled. All the beasts looked at me and turned
away their eyes from the light and blinked and shifted;
and the old he-lion coughed. They wouldn’t
come near me because of the torch and they
wouldn’t go near Ivy because of the trap.
They knew it was a trap. They always had known
it and so had Ivy. That was why she had gone
into it when so many deaths looked at her in so many
ways because she knew that in there she’d
be safe. All along she’d known that my
old traps and pitfalls wouldn’t catch anything;
but she’d never said so and she’d
never laughed at them or at me. I could find it
in my heart to call her a perfect wife just
by that one fact of tact alone; but there are other
facts other reasons millions
of them.
Suddenly from somewhere near Ivy there
came a thin, piping sound.
“It’s your little son
talking to you,” says Ivy, as calm as if she
was sitting up in a four-poster.
“My little son!” I says.
That was all for a minute. Then I says:
“Are you all right?”
And she says:
“Sure I am now that I know you are.”
I turned my torch fire-end down and
it began to blaze and sputter and presently roar.
Then I steps over to the lion and he doesn’t
move; and I points the torch at his dirty face and
lunges.
Ever see a kitten enjoying a fit?
That was what happened to him. Then I ran about,
beating and poking and shouting and burning. It
was like Ulysses cleaning the house of suitors and
handmaids. All the beasts ran; and some of ’em
ran a long way, I guess, and climbed trees.
I stuck the torch point-end in the
ground, stepped into the trap, and lifted my family
out. All the time I prayed aloud, saying:
“Lord on high, keep Right Bower from touching
his blamed foot against any of these triggers and
dropping the forest on top of all he holds in his
arms!” Ivy, she rubbed her cheek against mine
to show confidence and then we were safe
out and I picked up the torch and carried the whole
kit and boodle, family, torch, happiness much
too big to tote and belief in God’s
goodness, watchfulness, and mercy, home to our cave.
Right Bower added some uneventful
details of the few days following the ship’s
boat that put into the island for water and took them
off, and so on. Then he asked me if I’d
like to meet Mrs. Bower, and I went forward with him
and was presented.
She was deep in a steamer-chair, half
covered with a somewhat gay assortment of steamer-rugs.
I had noticed her before, in passing, and had mistaken
her for a child.
Bower beamed over us for a while and
then left us and we talked for hours about
Bower, the children, and the home in East Orange to
which they were returning after a holiday at Aix;
but she wouldn’t talk much about the island.
“Right,” she said, “was all the time
so venturesome that from morning till night I died
of worry and anxiety. Right says the Lord does
just the right thing for the right people at the right
time always. That’s his creed....
Sometimes,” she said, “I wonder what’s
become of big Bahut. He was such a white
elephant!”
Mrs. Gordon-Colfax took me to task
for spending so much of the afternoon with Mrs. Bower.
“Who,” said she, “was
that common little person you were flirting with? and
why?”
“She’s a Mrs. Bower,” I said.
“She has a mission.”
“I could tell that,” said
Mrs. Gordon-Colfax, “from the way she turned
up her eyes at you.”
“As long as she doesn’t
turn up her nose at me ” I began;
but Mrs. Gordon-Colfax put in:
“The Lord did that for her.”
“And,” I said, “so
she was saying. She said the Lord does just the
right thing for the right person at the right time....
Now, your nose is beautifully Greek; but, to be honest,
it turns up ever so much more than hers does.”
“Oh, well,” said Mrs.
Gordon-Colfax, “I hate common people and
I can’t help it. Let’s have a bite
in the grill.”
“Sorry,” I said; “I’m dining
with the Bowers.”
“You have a strong stomach,” said she.
“I have,” I said, “but
a weak heart and they are going to strengthen
it for me.”
And there arose thenceforth a coolness
between Mrs. Gordon-Colfax and me, which proves once
more that the Lord does just the right thing for the
right people at the right time.