That night, Herminia Barton went up
sadly to her own bed-room. It was the very last
night that Dolores was to sleep under the same roof
with her mother. On the morrow, she meant to
remove to Sir Anthony Merrick’s.
As soon as Herminia had closed the
door, she sat down to her writing-table and began
to write. Her pen moved of itself. And
this was her letter:
“My darling daughter, By
the time you read these words, I shall be no longer
in the way, to interfere with your perfect freedom
of action. I had but one task left in life to
make you happy. Now I find I only stand in the
way of that object, no reason remains why I should
endure any longer the misfortune of living.
“My child, my child, you must
see, when you come to think it over at leisure, that
all I ever did was done, up to my lights, to serve
and bless you. I thought, by giving you the father
and the birth I did, I was giving you the best any
mother on earth had ever yet given her dearest daughter.
I believe it still; but I see I should never succeed
in making you feel it. Accept this reparation.
For all the wrong I may have done, all the mistakes
I may have made, I sincerely and earnestly implore
your forgiveness. I could not have had it while
I lived; I beseech and pray you to grant me dead what
you would never have been able to grant me living.
“My darling, I thought you would
grow up to feel as I did; I thought you would thank
me for leading you to see such things as the blind
world is incapable of seeing. There I made a
mistake; and sorely am I punished for it. Don’t
visit it upon my head in your recollections when I
can no longer defend myself.
“I set out in life with the
earnest determination to be a martyr to the cause
of truth and righteousness, as I myself understood
them. But I didn’t foresee this last pang
of martyrdom. No soul can tell beforehand to
what particular cross the blind chances of the universe
will finally nail it. But I am ready to be offered,
and the time of my departure is close at hand.
I have fought a good fight; I have finished my course;
I have kept the faith I started in life with.
Nothing now remains for me but the crown of martyrdom.
My darling, it is indeed a very bitter cup to me that
you should wish me dead; but ’tis a small thing
to die, above all for the sake of those we love.
I die for you gladly, knowing that by doing so I
can easily relieve my own dear little girl of one
trouble in life, and make her course lie henceforth
through smoother waters. Be happy! be happy!
Good-by, my Dolly! Your mother’s love
go forever through life with you!
“Burn this blurred note the
moment you have read it. I inclose a more formal
one, giving reasons for my act on other grounds, to
be put in, if need be, at the coroner’s inquest.
Good-night, my heart’s darling. Your
truly devoted and affectionate
Mother.
“Oh, Dolly, my Dolly, you never
will know with what love I loved you.”
When she had finished that note, and
folded it reverently with kisses and tears, she wrote
the second one in a firm hand for the formal evidence.
Then she put on a fresh white dress, as pure as her
own soul, like the one she had worn on the night of
her self-made bridal with Alan Merrick. In her
bosom she fastened two innocent white roses from Walter
Brydges’s bouquet, arranging them with studious
care very daintily before her mirror. She was
always a woman. “Perhaps,” she thought
to herself, “for her lover’s sake, my
Dolly will kiss them. When she finds them lying
on her dead mother’s breast, my Dolly may kiss
them.” Then she cried a few minutes very
softly to herself; for no one can die without some
little regret, some consciousness of the unique solemnity
of the occasion.
At last she rose and moved over to
her desk. Out of it she took a small glass-stoppered
phial, that a scientific friend had given her long
ago for use in case of extreme emergency. It
contained prussic acid. She poured the contents
into a glass and drank it off. Then she lay
upon her bed and waited for the only friend she had
left in the world, with hands folded on her breast,
like some saint of the middle ages.
Not for nothing does blind fate vouchsafe
such martyrs to humanity. From their graves shall
spring glorious the church of the future.
When Dolores came in next morning
to say good-by, she found her mother’s body
cold and stiff upon the bed, in a pure white dress,
with two crushed white roses just peeping from her
bodice.
Herminia Barton’s stainless
soul had ceased to exist forever.