After she had made a curtsey at the
threshold, she would walk up the aisle between the
double lines of chairs, open Madame Aubain’s
pew, sit down and look around.
Girls and boys, the former on the
right, the latter on the left-hand side of the church,
filled the stalls of the choir; the priest stood beside
the reading-desk; on one stained window of the side-aisle
the Holy Ghost hovered over the Virgin; on another
one, Mary knelt before the Child Jesus, and behind
the alter, a wooden group represented Saint Michael
felling the dragon.
The priest first read a condensed
lesson of sacred history. Felicite evoked Paradise,
the Flood, the Tower of Babel, the blazing cities,
the dying nations, the shattered idols; and out of
this she developed a great respect for the Almighty
and a great fear of His wrath. Then, when she
had listened to the Passion, she wept. Why had
they crucified Him who loved little children, nourished
the people, made the blind see, and who, out of humility,
had wished to be born among the poor, in a stable?
The sowings, the harvests, the wine-presses, all those
familiar things which the Scriptures mention, formed
a part of her life; the word of God sanctified them;
and she loved the lambs with increased tenderness for
the sake of the Lamb, and the doves because of the
Holy Ghost.
She found it hard, however, to think
of the latter as a person, for was it not a bird,
a flame, and sometimes only a breath? Perhaps
it is its light that at night hovers over swamps,
its breath that propels the clouds, its voice that
renders church-bells harmonious. And Felicite
worshipped devoutly, while enjoying the coolness and
the stillness of the church.
As for the dogma, she could not understand
it and did not even try. The priest discoursed,
the children recited, and she went to sleep, only to
awaken with a start when they were leaving the church
and their wooden shoes clattered on the stone pavement.
In this way, she learned her catechism,
her religious education having been neglected in her
youth; and thenceforth she imitated all Virginia’s
religious practices, fasted when she did, and went
to confession with her. At the Corpus-Christi
Day they both decorated an altar.
She worried in advance over Virginia’s
first communion. She fussed about the shoes,
the rosary, the book and the gloves. With what
nervousness she helped the mother dress the child!
During the entire ceremony, she felt
anguished. Monsieur Bourais hid part of the choir
from view, but directly in front of her, the flock
of maidens, wearing white wreaths over their lowered
veils, formed a snow-white field, and she recognised
her darling by the slenderness of her neck and her
devout attitude. The bell tinkled. All the
heads bent and there was a silence. Then, at
the peals of the organ the singers and the worshippers
struck up the Agnes Dei; the boys’
procession began; behind them came the girls.
With clasped hands, they advanced step by step to
the lighted altar, knelt at the first step, received
one by one the Host, and returned to their seats in
the same order. When Virginia’s turn came,
Felicite leaned forward to watch her, and through that
imagination which springs from true affection, she
at once became the child, whose face and dress became
hers, whose heart beat in her bosom, and when Virginia
opened her mouth and closed her lids, she did likewise
and came very near fainting.
The following day, she presented herself
early at the church so as to receive communion from
the cure. She took it with the proper feeling,
but did not experience the same delight as on the previous
day.
Madame Aubain wished to make an accomplished
girl of her daughter; and as Guyot could not teach
English or music, she decided to send her to the Ursulines
at Honfleur.
The child made no objection, but Felicite
sighed and thought Madame was heartless. Then,
she thought that perhaps her mistress was right, as
these things were beyond her sphere. Finally,
one day, an old fiacre stopped in front of the door
and a nun stepped out. Felicite put Virginia’s
luggage on top of the carriage, gave the coachman some
instructions, and smuggled six jars of jam, a dozen
pears and a bunch of violets under the seat.
At the last minute, Virginia had a
fit of sobbing; she embraced her mother again and
again, while the latter kissed her on the forehead,
and said: “Now, be brave, be brave!”
The step was pulled up and the fiacre rumbled off.
Then Madame Aubain had a fainting
spell, and that evening all her friends, including
the two Lormeaus, Madame Lechaptois, the ladies Rochefeuille,
Messieurs de Houppeville and Bourais, called on her
and tendered their sympathy.
At first the separation proved very
painful to her. But her daughter wrote her three
times a week and the other days she, herself, wrote
to Virginia. Then she walked in the garden, read
a little, and in this way managed to fill out the
emptiness of the hours.
Each morning, out of habit, Felicite
entered Virginia’s room and gazed at the walls.
She missed combing her hair, lacing her shoes, tucking
her in her bed, and the bright face and little hand
when they used to go out for a walk. In order
to occupy herself she tried to make lace. But
her clumsy fingers broke the threads; she had no heart
for anything, lost her sleep and “wasted away,”
as she put it.
In order to have some distraction,
she asked leave to receive the visits of her nephew
Victor.
He would come on Sunday, after church,
with ruddy cheeks and bared chest, bringing with him
the scent of the country. She would set the table
and they would sit down opposite each other, and eat
their dinner; she ate as little as possible, herself,
to avoid any extra expense, but would stuff him so
with food that he would finally go to sleep. At
the first stroke of vespers, she would wake him up,
brush his trousers, tie his cravat and walk to church
with him, leaning on his arm with maternal pride.
His parents always told him to get
something out of her, either a package of brown sugar,
or soap, or brandy, and sometimes even money.
He brought her his clothes to mend, and she accepted
the task gladly, because it meant another visit from
him.
In August, his father took him on a coasting-vessel.
It was vacation time and the arrival
of the children consoled Felicite. But Paul was
capricious, and Virginia was growing too old to be
thee-and-thou’d, a fact which seemed to produce
a sort of embarrassment in their relations.
Victor went successively to Morlaix,
to Dunkirk, and to Brighton; whenever he returned
from a trip he would bring her a present. The
first time it was a box of shells; the second, a coffee-cup;
the third, a big doll of ginger-bread. He was
growing handsome, had a good figure, a tiny moustache,
kind eyes, and a little leather cap that sat jauntily
on the back of his head. He amused his aunt by
telling her stories mingled with nautical expressions.
One Monday, the 14th of July, 1819
(she never forgot the date), Victor announced that
he had been engaged on a merchant-vessel and that in
two days he would take the steamer at Honfleur and
join his sailer, which was going to start from Havre
very soon. Perhaps he might be away two years.
The prospect of his departure filled
Felicite with despair, and in order to bid him farewell,
on Wednesday night, after Madame’s dinner, she
put on her pattens and trudged the four miles that
separated Pont-l’Eveque from Honfleur.
When she reached the Calvary, instead
of turning to the right, she turned to the left and
lost herself in coal-yards; she had to retrace her
steps; some people she spoke to advised her to hasten.
She walked helplessly around the harbour filled with
vessels, and knocked against hawsers. Presently
the ground sloped abruptly, lights flitted to and
fro, and she thought all at once that she had gone
mad when she saw some horses in the sky.
Others, on the edge of the dock, neighed
at the sight of the ocean. A derrick pulled them
up in the air, and dumped them into a boat, where
passengers were bustling about among barrels of cider,
baskets of cheese and bags of meal; chickens cackled,
the captain swore and a cabin-boy rested on the railing,
apparently indifferent to his surroundings. Felicite,
who did not recognise him, kept shouting: “Victor!”
He suddenly raised his eyes, but while she was preparing
to rush up to him, they withdrew the gangplank.
The packet, towed by singing women,
glided out of the harbour. Her hull squeaked
and the heavy waves beat up against her sides.
The sail had turned and nobody was visible; and
on the ocean, silvered by the light of the moon, the
vessel formed a black spot that grew dimmer and dimmer,
and finally disappeared.
When Felicite passed the Calvary again,
she felt as if she must entrust that which was dearest
to her to the Lord; and for a long while she prayed,
with uplifted eyes and a face wet with tears.
The city was sleeping; some customs officials were
taking the air; and the water kept pouring through
the holes of the dam with a deafening roar. The
town clock struck two.
The parlour of the convent would not
open until morning, and surely a delay would annoy
Madame, so, in spite of her desire to see the other
child, she went home. The maids of the inn were
just arising when she reached Pont-l’Eveque.
So the poor boy would be on the ocean
for months! His previous trips had not alarmed
her. One can come back from England and Brittany;
but America, the colonies, the islands, were all lost
in an uncertain region at the very end of the world.
From that time on, Felicite thought
solely of her nephew. On warm days she feared
he would suffer from thirst, and when it stormed, she
was afraid he would be struck by lightning. When
she harkened to the wind that rattled in the chimney
and dislodged the tiles on the roof, she imagined
that he was being buffeted by the same storm, perched
on top of a shattered mast, with his whole body bend
backward and covered with sea-foam; or, these
were recollections of the engraved geography he
was being devoured by savages, or captured in a forest
by apes, or dying on some lonely coast. She never
mentioned her anxieties, however.
Madame Aubain worried about her daughter.
The sisters thought that Virginia
was affectionate but delicate. The slightest
emotion enervated her. She had to give up her
piano lessons. Her mother insisted upon regular
letters from the convent. One morning, when the
postman failed to come, she grew impatient and began
to pace to and fro, from her chair to the window.
It was really extraordinary! No news since four
days!
In order to console her mistress by
her own example, Felicite said:
“Why, Madame, I haven’t had any news since
six months! ”
“From whom? ”
The servant replied gently:
“Why from my nephew.”
“Oh, yes, your nephew!”
And shrugging her shoulders, Madame Aubain continued
to pace the floor as if to say: “I did not
think of it. Besides, I do not care, a
cabin-boy, a pauper! but my daughter what
a difference! just think of it! ”
Felicite, although she had been reared
roughly, was very indignant. Then she forgot
about it.
It appeared quite natural to her that one should lose
one’s head about
Virginia.
The two children were of equal importance;
they were united in her heart and their fate was to
be the same.
The chemist informed her that Victor’s
vessel had reached Havana. He had read the information
in a newspaper.
Felicite imagined that Havana was
a place where people did nothing but smoke, and that
Victor walked around among negroes in a cloud of tobacco.
Could a person, in case of need, return by land?
How far was it from Pont-l’Eveque? In order
to learn these things, she questioned Monsieur Bourais.
He reached for his map and began some explanations
concerning longitudes, and smiled with superiority
at Felicite’s bewilderment. At last, he
took a pencil and pointed out an imperceptible black
point in the scallops of an oval blotch, adding:
“There it is.” She bent over the
map; the maze of coloured lines hurt her eyes without
enlightening her; and when Bourais asked her what puzzled
her, she requested him to show her the house Victor
lived in. Bourais threw up his hands, sneezed,
and then laughed uproariously; such ignorance delighted
his soul; but Felicite failed to understand the cause
of his mirth, she whose intelligence was so limited
that she perhaps expected to see even the picture
of her nephew!
It was two weeks later that Liebard
came into the kitchen at market-time, and handed her
a letter from her brother-in-law. As neither
of them could read, she called upon her mistress.
Madame Aubain, who was counting the
stitches of her knitting, laid her work down beside
her, opened the letter, started, and in a low tone
and with a searching look said: “They tell
you of a misfortune. Your nephew ”
He had died. The letter told nothing more.
Felicite dropped on a chair, leaned
her head against the back, and closed her lids; presently
they grew pink. Then, with drooping head, inert
hands and staring eyes she repeated at intervals:
“Poor little chap! poor little chap!”
Liebard watched her and sighed. Madame Aubain
was trembling.
She proposed to the girl to go to see her sister in
Trouville.
With a single motion, Felicite replied that it was
not necessary.
There was a silence. Old Liebard
thought it about time for him to take leave.
Then Felicite uttered:
“They have no sympathy, they do not care!”
Her head fell forward again, and from
time to time, mechanically, she toyed with the long
knitting-needles on the work-table.
Some women passed through the yard with a basket of
wet clothes.
When she saw them through the window,
she suddenly remembered her own wash; as she had soaked
it the day before, she must go and rinse it now.
So she arose and left the room.
Her tub and her board were on the
bank of the Toucques. She threw a heap of clothes
on the ground, rolled up her sleeves and grasped her
bat; and her loud pounding could be heard in the neighbouring
gardens. The meadows were empty, the breeze wrinkled
the stream, at the bottom of which were long grasses
that looked like the hair of corpses floating in the
water. She restrained her sorrow and was very
brave until night; but, when she had gone to her own
room, she gave way to it, burying her face in the
pillow and pressing her two fists against her temples.
A long while afterward, she learned
through Victor’s captain, the circumstances
which surrounded his death. At the hospital they
had bled him too much, treating him for yellow fever.
Four doctors held him at one time. He died almost
instantly, and the chief surgeon had said:
“Here goes another one!”
His parents had always treated him
barbarously; she preferred not to see them again,
and they made no advances, either from forgetfulness
or out of innate hardness.
Virginia was growing weaker.
A cough, continual fever, oppressive
breathing and spots on her cheeks indicated some serious
trouble. Monsieur Popart had advised a sojourn
in Provence. Madame Aubain decided that they
would go, and she would have had her daughter come
home at once, had it not been for the climate of Pont-l’Eveque.
She made an arrangement with a livery-stable
man who drove her over to the convent every Tuesday.
In the garden there was a terrace, from which the
view extends to the Seine. Virginia walked in
it, leaning on her mother’s arm and treading
the dead vine leaves. Sometimes the sun, shining
through the clouds, made her blink her lids, when she
gazed at the sails in the distance, and let her eyes
roam over the horizon from the chateau of Tancarville
to the lighthouses of Havre. Then they rested
on the arbour. Her mother had bought a little
cask of fine Malaga wine, and Virginia, laughing at
the idea of becoming intoxicated, would drink a few
drops of it, but never more.
Her strength returned. Autumn
passed. Felicite began to reassure Madame Aubain.
But, one evening, when she returned home after an errand,
she met M. Boupart’s coach in front of the door;
M. Boupart himself was standing in the vestibule and
Madame Aubain was tying the strings of her bonnet.
“Give me my foot-warmer, my purse and my gloves;
and be quick about it,” she said.
Virginia had congestion of the lungs;
perhaps it was desperate.
“Not yet,” said the physician,
and both got into the carriage, while the snow fell
in thick flakes. It was almost night and very
cold.
Felicite rushed to the church to light
a candle. Then she ran after the coach which
she overtook after an hour’s chase, sprang up
behind and held on to the straps. But suddenly
a thought crossed her mind: “The yard had
been left open; supposing that burglars got in!”
And down she jumped.
The next morning, at daybreak, she
called at the doctor’s. He had been home,
but had left again. Then she waited at the inn,
thinking that strangers might bring her a letter.
At last, at daylight she took the diligence for Lisieux.
The convent was at the end of a steep
and narrow street. When she arrived about at
the middle of it, she heard strange noises, a funeral
knell. “It must be for some one else,”
thought she; and she pulled the knocker violently.
After several minutes had elapsed,
she heard footsteps, the door was half opened and
a nun appeared. The good sister, with an air of
compunction, told her that “she had just passed
away.” And at the same time the tolling
of Saint-Leonard’s increased.
Felicite reached the second floor.
Already at the threshold, she caught sight of Virginia
lying on her back, with clasped hands, her mouth open
and her head thrown back, beneath a black crucifix
inclined toward her, and stiff curtains which were
less white than her face. Madame Aubain lay at
the foot of the couch, clasping it with her arms and
uttering groans of agony. The Mother Superior
was standing on the right side of the bed. The
three candles on the bureau made red blurs, and the
windows were dimmed by the fog outside. The nuns
carried Madame Aubain from the room.
For two nights, Felicite never left
the corpse. She would repeat the same prayers,
sprinkle holy water over the sheets, get up, come back
to the bed and contemplate the body. At the end
of the first vigil, she noticed that the face had
taken on a yellow tinge, the lips grew blue, the nose
grew pinched, the eyes were sunken. She kissed
them several times and would not have been greatly
astonished had Virginia opened them; to souls like
this the supernatural is always quite simple.
She washed her, wrapped her in a shroud, put her into
the casket, laid a wreath of flowers on her head and
arranged her curls. They were blond and of an
extraordinary length for her age. Felicite cut
off a big lock and put half of it into her bosom,
resolving never to part with it.
The body was taken to Pont-l’Eveque,
according to Madame Aubain’s wishes; she followed
the hearse in a closed carriage.
After the ceremony it took three quarters
of an hour to reach the cemetery. Paul, sobbing,
headed the procession; Monsieur Bourais followed,
and then came the principle inhabitants of the town,
the women covered with black capes, and Felicite.
The memory of her nephew, and the thought that she
had not been able to render him these honours, made
her doubly unhappy, and she felt as if he were being
buried with Virginia.
Madame Aubain’s grief was uncontrollable.
At first she rebelled against God, thinking that he
was unjust to have taken away her child she
who had never done anything wrong, and whose conscience
was so pure! But no! she ought to have taken
her South. Other doctors would have saved her.
She accused herself, prayed to be able to join her
child, and cried in the midst of her dreams.
Of the latter, one more especially haunted her.
Her husband, dressed like a sailor, had come back from
a long voyage, and with tears in his eyes told her
that he had received the order to take Virginia away.
Then they both consulted about a hiding-place.
Once she came in from the garden,
all upset. A moment before (and she showed the
place), the father and daughter had appeared to her,
one after the other; they did nothing but look at
her.
During several months she remained
inert in her room. Felicite scolded her gently;
she must keep up for her son and also for the other
one, for “her memory.”
“Her memory!” replied
Madame Aubain, as if she were just awakening, “Oh!
yes, yes, you do not forget her!” This was an
allusion to the cemetery where she had been expressly
forbidden to go.
But Felicite went there every day.
At four o’clock exactly, she would go through
the town, climb the hill, open the gate and arrive
at Virginia’s tomb. It was a small column
of pink marble with a flat stone at its base, and
it was surrounded by a little plot enclosed by chains.
The flower-beds were bright with blossoms. Felicite
watered their leaves, renewed the gravel, and knelt
on the ground in order to till the earth properly.
When Madame Aubain was able to visit the cemetery she
felt very much relieved and consoled.
Years passed, all alike and marked
by no other events than the return of the great church
holidays: Easter, Assumption, All Saints’
Day. Household happenings constituted the only
data to which in later years they often referred.
Thus, in 1825, workmen painted the vestibule; in 1827,
a portion of the roof almost killed a man by falling
into the yard. In the summer of 1828, it was
Madame’s turn to offer the hallowed bread; at
that time, Bourais disappeared mysteriously; and the
old acquaintances, Guyot, Liebard, Madame Lechaptois,
Robelin, old Gremanville, paralysed since a long time,
passed away one by one. One night, the driver
of the mail in Pont-l’Eveque announced the Revolution
of July. A few days afterward a new sub-prefect
was nominated, the Baron de Larsonniere, ex-consul
in America, who, besides his wife, had his sister-in-law
and her three grown daughters with him. They were
often seen on their lawn, dressed in loose blouses,
and they had a parrot and a negro servant. Madame
Aubain received a call, which she returned promptly.
As soon as she caught sight of them, Felicite would
run and notify her mistress. But only one thing
was capable of arousing her: a letter from her
son.
He could not follow any profession
as he was absorbed in drinking. His mother paid
his debts and he made fresh ones; and the sighs that
she heaved while she knitted at the window reached
the ears of Felicite who was spinning in the kitchen.
They walked in the garden together,
always speaking of Virginia, and asking each other
if such and such a thing would have pleased her, and
what she would probably have said on this or that occasion.
All her little belongings were put
away in a closet of the room which held the two little
beds. But Madame Aubain looked them over as little
as possible. One summer day, however, she resigned
herself to the task and when she opened the closet
the moths flew out.
Virginia’s frocks were hung
under a shelf where there were three dolls, some hoops,
a doll-house, and a basic which she had used.
Felicite and Madame Aubain also took out the skirts,
the handkerchiefs, and the stockings and spread them
on the beds, before putting them away again.
The sun fell on the piteous things, disclosing their
spots and the creases formed by the motions of the
body. The atmosphere was warm and blue, and a
blackbird trilled in the garden; everything seemed
to live in happiness. They found a little hat
of soft brown plush, but it was entirely moth-eaten.
Felicite asked for it. Their eyes met and filled
with tears; at last the mistress opened her arms and
the servant threw herself against her breast and they
hugged each other and giving vent to their grief in
a kiss which equalised them for a moment.
It was the first time that this had
ever happened, for Madame Aubain was not of an expansive
nature. Felicite was as grateful for it as if
it had been some favour, and thenceforth loved her
with animal-like devotion and a religious veneration.
Her kind-heartedness developed.
When she heard the drums of a marching regiment passing
through the street, she would stand in the doorway
with a jug of cider and give the soldiers a drink.
She nursed cholera victims. She protected Polish
refugees, and one of them even declared that he wished
to marry her. But they quarrelled, for one morning
when she returned from the Angelus she found him in
the kitchen coolly eating a dish which he had prepared
for himself during her absence.
After the Polish refugees, came Colmiche,
an old man who was credited with having committed
frightful misdeeds in ’93. He lived near
the river in the ruins of a pig-sty. The urchins
peeped at him through the cracks in the walls and
threw stones that fell on his miserable bed, where
he lay gasping with catarrh, with long hair, inflamed
eyelids, and a tumour as big as his head on one arm.
She got him some linen, tried to clean
his hovel and dreamed of installing him in the bake-house
without his being in Madame’s way. When
the cancer broke, she dressed it every day; sometimes
she brought him some cake and placed him in the sun
on a bundle of hay; and the poor old creature, trembling
and drooling, would thank her in his broken voice,
and put out his hands whenever she left him. Finally
he died; and she had a mass said for the repose of
his soul.
That day a great joy came to her:
at dinner-time, Madame de Larsonniere’s servant
called with the parrot, the cage, and the perch and
chain and lock. A note from the baroness told
Madame Aubain that as her husband had been promoted
to a prefecture, they were leaving that night, and
she begged her to accept the bird as a remembrance
and a token of her esteem.
Since a long time the parrot had been
on Felicite’s mind, because he came from America,
which reminded her of Victor, and she had approached
the negro on the subject.
Once even, she had said:
“How glad Madame would be to have him!”
The man had repeated this remark to
his mistress who, not being able to keep the bird,
took this means of getting rid of it.