“Bah! Monsieur,”
the old mountebank said to me; “it is a matter
of exercise and habit, that is all! Of course,
one requires to be a little gifted that way and not
to be butter-fingered, but what is chiefly necessary
is patience and daily practice for long, long years.”
His modesty surprised me all the more,
because of all performers who are generally infatuated
with their own skill, he was the most wonderfully
clever one I had met. Certainly I had frequently
seen him, for everybody had seen him in some circus
or other, or even in traveling shows, performing the
trick that consists of putting a man or woman with
extended arms against a wooden target, and in throwing
knives between their fingers and round their heads,
from a distance. There is nothing very extraordinary
in it, after all, when one knows the tricks
of the trade, and that the knives are
not the least sharp, and stick into the wood at some
distance from the flesh. It is the rapidity of
the throws, the glitter of the blades, and the curve
which the handles make toward their living object,
which give an air of danger to an exhibition that
has become commonplace, and only requires very middling
skill.
But here there was no trick and no
deception, and no dust thrown into the eyes.
It was done in good earnest and in all sincerity.
The knives were as sharp as razors, and the old mountebank
planted them close to the flesh, exactly in the angle
between the fingers. He surrounded the head with
a perfect halo of knives, and the neck with a collar
from which nobody could have extricated himself without
cutting his carotid artery, while, to increase the
difficulty, the old fellow went through the performance
without seeing, his whole face being covered with a
close mask of thick oilcloth.
Naturally, like other great artists,
he was not understood by the crowd, who confounded
him with vulgar tricksters, and his mask only appeared
to them a trick the more, and a very common trick into
the bargain.
“He must think us very stupid,”
they said. “How could he possibly aim without
having his eyes open?”
And they thought there must be imperceptible
holes in the oilcloth, a sort of latticework concealed
in the material. It was useless for him to allow
the public to examine the mask for themselves before
the exhibition began. It was all very well that
they could not discover any trick, but they were only
all the more convinced that they were being tricked.
Did not the people know that they ought to be tricked?
I had recognized a great artist in
the old mountebank, and I was quite sure that he was
altogether incapable of any trickery. I told him
so, while expressing my admiration to him; and he
had been touched by my open admiration and above all
by the justice I had done him. Thus we became
good friends, and he explained to me, very modestly,
the real trick which the crowd do not understand,
the eternal trick contained in these simple words:
“To be gifted by nature and to practice every
day for long, long years.”
He had been especially struck by the
certainty which I expressed that any trickery must
become impossible to him. “Yes,” he
said to me; “quite impossible! Impossible
to a degree which you cannot imagine. If I were
to tell you! But where would be the use?”
His face clouded over, and his eyes
filled with tears. I did not venture to force
myself into his confidence. My looks, however,
were not so discreet as my silence, and begged him
to speak; so he responded to their mute appeal.
“After all,” he said;
“why should I not tell you about it? You
will understand me.” And he added, with
a look of sudden ferocity: “She understood
it, at any rate!”
“Who?” I asked.
“My strumpet of a wife,”
he replied. “Ah! Monsieur, what an
abominable creature she was if you only
knew! Yes, she understood it too well, too well,
and that is why I hate her so; even more on that account,
than for having deceived me. For that is a natural
fault, is it not, and may be pardoned? But the
other thing was a crime, a horrible crime.”
The woman, who stood against the wooden
target every night with her arms stretched out and
her finger extended, and whom the old mountebank fitted
with gloves and with a halo formed of his knives, which
were as sharp as razors and which he planted close
to her, was his wife. She might have been a woman
of forty, and must have been fairly pretty, but with
a perverse prettiness; she had an impudent mouth, a
mouth that was at the same time sensual and bad, with
the lower lip too thick for the thin, dry upper lip.
I had several times noticed that every
time he planted a knife in the board, she uttered
a laugh, so low as scarcely to be heard, but which
was very significant when one heard it, for it was
a hard and very mocking laugh. I had always attributed
that sort of reply to an artifice which the occasion
required. It was intended, I thought, to accentuate
the danger she incurred and the contempt that she felt
for it, thanks to the sureness of the thrower’s
hands, and so I was very much surprised when the mountebank
said to me:
“Have you observed her laugh,
I say? Her evil laugh which makes fun of me,
and her cowardly laugh which defies me? Yes, cowardly,
because she knows that nothing can happen to her,
nothing, in spite of all she deserves, in spite of
all that I ought to do to her, in spite of all that
I want to do to her.”
“What do you want to do?”
“Confound it! Cannot you guess? I
want to kill her.”
“To kill her, because she has ”
“Because she has deceived me?
No, no, not that, I tell you again. I have forgiven
her for that a long time ago, and I am too much accustomed
to it! But the worst of it is that the first time
I forgave her, when I told her that all the same I
might some day have my revenge by cutting her throat,
if I chose, without seeming to do it on purpose, as
if it were an accident, mere awkwardness ”
“Oh! So you said that to her?”
“Of course I did, and I meant
it. I thought I might be able to do it, for you
see I had the perfect right to do so. It was so
simple, so easy, so tempting! Just think!
A mistake of less than half an inch, and her skin
would be cut at the neck where the jugular vein is,
and the jugular would be severed. My knives cut
very well! And when once the jugular is cut good-bye.
The blood would spurt out, and one, two, three red
jets, and all would be over; she would be dead, and
I should have had my revenge!”
“That is true, certainly, horribly true!”
“And without any risk to me,
eh? An accident, that is all; bad luck, one of
those mistakes which happen every day in our business.
What could they accuse me of? Whoever would think
of accusing me, even? Homicide through imprudence,
that would be all! They would even pity me, rather
than accuse me. ‘My wife! My poor wife!’
I should say, sobbing. ’My wife, who is
so necessary to me, who is half the breadwinner, who
takes part in my performance!’ You must acknowledge
that I should be pitied!”
“Certainly; there is not the least doubt about
that.”
“And you must allow that such
a revenge would he a very nice revenge, the best possible
revenge which I could have with assured impunity.”
“Evidently that is so.”
“Very well! But when I
told her so, as I have told you, and more forcibly
still; threatening her as I was mad with rage and ready
to do the deed that I had dreamed of on the spot,
what do you think she said?”
“That you were a good fellow,
and would certainly not have the atrocious courage
to ”
“Tut! tut! tut! I am not
such a good fellow as you think. I am not frightened
of blood, and that I have proved already, though it
would be useless to tell you how and where. But
I had no necessity to prove it to her, for she knows
that I am capable of a good many things; even of crime;
especially of one crime.”
“And she was not frightened?”
“No. She merely replied
that I could not do what I said; you understand.
That I could not do it!”
“Why not?”
“Ah! Monsieur, so you do
not understand? Why do you not? I have I
not explained to you by what constant, long, daily
practice I have learned to plant my knives without
seeing what I am doing?”
“Yes, well, what then?”
“Well! Cannot you understand
what she has understood with such terrible results,
that now my hand would no longer obey me if I wished
to make a mistake as I threw?”
“Is it possible?”
“Nothing is truer, I am sorry
to say. For I really have wished to have the
revenge which I have dreamed of, and which I thought
so easy. Exasperated by that bad woman’s
insolence and confidence in her own safety, I have
several times made up my mind to kill her, and have
exerted all my energy and all my skill to make my knives
fly aside when I threw them to make a border round
her neck. I have tried with all my might to make
them deviate half an inch, just enough to cut her throat.
I wanted to, and I have never succeeded, never.
And always the slut’s horrible laugh makes fun
of me, always, always.”
And with a deluge of tears, with something
like a roar of unsatiated and muzzled rage, he ground
his teeth as he wound up: “She knows me,
the jade; she is in the secret of my work, of my patience,
of my trick, routine, whatever you may call it!
She lives in my innermost being, and sees into it
more closely than you do, or than I do myself.
She knows what a faultless machine I have become,
the machine of which she makes fun, the machine which
is too well wound up, the machine which cannot get
out of order and she knows that I cannot
make a mistake.”