I was going to see my friend Simon
Radevin once more, for I had not seen him for fifteen
years. Formerly he was my most intimate friend,
and I used to spend long, quiet, and happy evenings
with him. He was one of those men to whom one
tells the most intimate affairs of the heart, and
in whom one finds, when quietly talking, rare, clever,
ingenious, and refined thoughts thoughts
which stimulate and capture the mind.
For years we had scarcely been separated:
we had lived, traveled, thought, and dreamed together;
had liked the same things with the same liking, admired
the same books, comprehended the same works, shivered
with the same sensations, and very often laughed at
the same individuals, whom we understood completely,
by merely exchanging a glance.
Then he married quite unexpectedly
married a little girl from the provinces, who had
come to Paris in search of a husband. How ever
could that little, thin, insipidly fair girl, with
her weak hands, her light, vacant eyes, and her clear,
silly voice, who was exactly like a hundred thousand
marriageable dolls, have picked up that intelligent,
clever young fellow? Can anyone understand these
things? No doubt he had hoped for happiness,
simple, quiet, and long-enduring happiness, in the
arms of a good, tender, and faithful woman; he had
seen all that in the transparent looks of that schoolgirl
with light hair.
He had not dreamed of the fact that
an active, living, and vibrating man grows tired as
soon as he has comprehended the stupid reality of a
common-place life, unless indeed, he becomes so brutalized
as to be callous to externals.
What would he be like when I met him
again? Still lively, witty, light-hearted, and
enthusiastic, or in a state of mental torpor through
provincial life? A man can change a great deal
in the course of fifteen years!
The train stopped at a small station,
and as I got out of the carriage, a stout, a very
stout man with red cheeks and a big stomach rushed
up to me with open arms, exclaiming: “George!”
I embraced him, but I had not recognized
him, and then I said, in astonishment: “By
Jove! You have not grown thin!”
And he replied with a laugh:
“What did you expect? Good living, a good
table, and good nights! Eating and sleeping, that
is my existence!”
I looked at him closely, trying to
find the features I held so dear in that broad face.
His eyes alone had not altered, but I no longer saw
the same looks in them, and I said to myself:
“If looks be the reflection of the mind, the
thoughts in that head are not what they used to be those
thoughts which I knew so well.”
Yet his eyes were bright, full of
pleasure and friendship, but they had not that clear,
intelligent expression which tells better than do words
the value of the mind. Suddenly he said to me:
“Here are my two eldest children.”
A girl of fourteen, who was almost a woman, and a
boy of thirteen, in the dress of a pupil from a lycee,
came forward in a hesitating and awkward manner, and
I said in a low voice: “Are they yours?”
“Of course they are,” he replied laughing.
“How many have you?”
“Five! There are three more indoors.”
He said that in a proud, self-satisfied,
almost triumphant manner, and I felt profound pity,
mingled with a feeling of vague contempt for this
vainglorious and simple reproducer of his species,
who spent his nights in his country house in uxorious
pleasures.
I got into a carriage, which he drove
himself, and we set off through the town, a dull,
sleepy, gloomy town where nothing was moving in the
streets save a few dogs and two or three maidservants.
Here and there a shopkeeper standing at his door took
off his hat, and Simon returned the salute and told
me the man’s name no doubt to show
me that he knew all the inhabitants personally.
The thought struck me that he was thinking of becoming
a candidate for the Chamber of Deputies, that dream
of all who have buried themselves in the provinces.
We were soon out of the town; the
carriage turned into a garden which had some pretensions
to a park, and stopped in front of a turreted house,
which tried to pass for a chateau.
“That is my den,” Simon
said, so that he might be complimented on it, and
I replied that it was delightful.
A lady appeared on the steps, dressed
up for a visitor, her hair done for a visitor, and
with phrases ready prepared for a visitor. She
was no longer the light-haired, insipid girl I had
seen in church fifteen years previously, but a stout
lady in curls and flounces, one of those ladies of
uncertain age, without intellect, without any of those
things which constitute a woman. In short she
was a mother, a stout, commonplace mother, a human
layer and brood mare, a machine of flesh which procreates,
without mental care save for her children and her
housekeeping book.
She welcomed me, and I went into the
hall, where three children, ranged according to their
height, were ranked for review, like firemen before
a mayor. “Ah! ah! so there are the others?”
said I. And Simon, who was radiant with pleasure,
named them: “Jean, Sophie, and Gontran.”
The door of the drawing-room was open.
I went in, and in the depths of an easy-chair I saw
something trembling, a man, an old, paralyzed man.
Madame Radevin came forward and said: “This
is my grandfather, Monsieur; he is eighty-seven.”
And then she shouted into the shaking old man’s
ears: “This is a friend of Simon’s,
grandpapa.”
The old gentleman tried to say “Good
day” to me, and he muttered: “Oua,
oua, oua,” and waved his hand.
I took a seat saying: “You are very kind,
Monsieur.”
Simon had just come in, and he said
with a laugh: “So! You have made grandpapa’s
acquaintance. He is priceless, is that old man.
He is the delight of the children, and he is so greedy
that he almost kills himself at every meal. You
have no idea what he would eat if he were allowed
to do as he pleased. But you will see, you will
see. He looks all the sweets over as if they
were so many girls. You have never seen anything
funnier; you will see it presently.”
I was then shown to my room to change
my dress for dinner, and hearing a great clatter behind
me on the stairs, I turned round and saw that all
the children were following me behind their father to
do me honor, no doubt.
My windows looked out on to a plain,
a bare, interminable plain, an ocean of grass, of
wheat, and of oats, without a clump of trees or any
rising ground, a striking and melancholy picture of
the life which they must be leading in that house.
A bell rang; it was for dinner, and
so I went downstairs. Madame Radevin took my
arm in a ceremonious manner, and we went into the
dining-room. A footman wheeled in the old man’s
arm-chair, who gave a greedy and curious look at the
dessert, as with difficulty he turned his shaking
head from one dish to the other.
Simon rubbed his hands, saying:
“You will be amused.” All the children
understood that I was going to be indulged with the
sight of their greedy grandfather and they began to
laugh accordingly, while their mother merely smiled
and shrugged her shoulders. Simon, making a speaking
trumpet of his hands, shouted at the old man:
“This evening there is sweet rice-cream,”
and the wrinkled face of the grandfather brightened,
he trembled violently all over, showing that he had
understood and was very pleased. The dinner began.
“Just look!” Simon whispered.
The grandfather did not like the soup, and refused
to eat it; but he was made to, on account of his health.
The footman forced the spoon into his mouth, while
the old man blew energetically, so as not to swallow
the soup, which was thus scattered like a stream of
water on to the table and over his neighbors.
The children shook with delight at the spectacle,
while their father, who was also amused, said:
“Isn’t the old man funny?”
During the whole meal they were all
taken up solely with him. With his eyes he devoured
the dishes which were put on the table, and with trembling
hands tried to seize them and pull them to him.
They put them almost within his reach to see his useless
efforts, his trembling clutches at them, the piteous
appeal of his whole nature, of his eyes, of his mouth,
and of his nose as he smelled them. He slobbered
on to his table napkin with eagerness, while uttering
inarticulate grunts, and the whole family was highly
amused at this horrible and grotesque scene.
Then they put a tiny morsel on to
his plate, which he ate with feverish gluttony, in
order to get something more as soon as possible.
When the rice-cream was brought in, he nearly had
a fit, and groaned with greediness. Gontran called
out to him: “You have eaten too much already;
you will have no more.” And they pretended
not to give him any. Then he began to cry cry
and tremble more violently than ever, while all the
children laughed. At last, however, they gave
him his helping, a very small piece. As he ate
the first mouthful of the pudding, he made a comical
and greedy noise in his throat, and a movement with
his neck like ducks do, when they swallow too large
a morsel, and then, when he had done, he began to
stamp his feet, so as to get more.
I was seized with pity for this pitiable
and ridiculous Tantalus, and interposed on his behalf:
“Please, will you not give him a little more
rice?”
But Simon replied: “Oh!
no my dear fellow, if he were to eat too much, it
might harm him at his age.”
I held my tongue, and thought over
these words. Oh! ethics! Oh! logic!
Oh! wisdom! At his age! So they deprived
him of his only remaining pleasure out of regard for
his health! His health! What would he do
with it, inert and trembling wreck that he was?
They were taking care of his life, so they said.
His life? How many days? Ten, twenty, fifty,
or a hundred? Why? For his own sake?
Or to preserve for some time longer, the spectacle
of his impotent greediness in the family.
There was nothing left for him to
do in this life, nothing whatever. He had one
single wish left, one sole pleasure; why not grant
him that last solace constantly, until he died?
After playing cards for a long time,
I went up to my room and to bed: I was low-spirited
and sad, sad, sad! I sat at my window, but I heard
nothing but the beautiful warbling of a bird in a tree,
somewhere in the distance. No doubt the bird
was singing thus in a low voice during the night,
to lull his mate, who was sleeping on her eggs.
And I thought of my poor friend’s
five children, and to myself pictured him snoring
by the side of his ugly wife.