THE GIANT CHILDREN.
I.-
For a time at least the spreading
circle of residual consequences about the Experimental
Farm must pass out of the focus of our narrative how
for a long time a power of bigness, in fungus and toadstool,
in grass and weed, radiated from that charred but
not absolutely obliterated centre. Nor can we
tell here at any length how these mournful spinsters,
the two surviving hens, made a wonder of and a show,
spent their remaining years in eggless celebrity.
The reader who is hungry for fuller details in these
matters is referred to the newspapers of the period to
the voluminous, indiscriminate files of the modern
Recording Angel. Our business lies with Mr. Bensington
at the focus of the disturbance.
He had come back to London to find
himself a quite terribly famous man. In a night
the whole world had changed with respect to him.
Everybody understood. Cousin Jane, it seemed,
knew all about it; the people in the streets knew
all about it; the newspapers all and more. To
meet Cousin Jane was terrible, of course, but when
it was over not so terrible after all. The good
woman had limits even to her power over facts; it was
clear that she had communed with herself and accepted
the Food as something in the nature of things.
She took the line of huffy dutifulness.
She disapproved highly, it was evident, but she did
not prohibit. The flight of Bensington, as she
must have considered it, may have shaken her, and
her worst was to treat him with bitter persistence
for a cold he had not caught and fatigue he had long
since forgotten, and to buy him a new sort of hygienic
all-wool combination underwear that was apt to get
involved and turned partially inside out and partially
not, and as difficult to get into for an absent-minded
man, as Society. And so for a space,
and as far as this convenience left him leisure, he
still continued to participate in the development
of this new element in human history, the Food of the
Gods.
The public mind, following its own
mysterious laws of selection, had chosen him as the
one and only responsible Inventor and Promoter of this
new wonder; it would hear nothing of Redwood, and without
a protest it allowed Cossar to follow his natural
impulse into a terribly prolific obscurity. Before
he was aware of the drift of these things, Mr. Bensington
was, so to speak, stark and dissected upon the hoardings.
His baldness, his curious general pinkness, and his
golden spectacles had become a national possession.
Resolute young men with large expensive-looking cameras
and a general air of complete authorisation took possession
of the flat for brief but fruitful periods, let off
flash lights in it that filled it for days with dense,
intolerable vapour, and retired to fill the pages
of the syndicated magazines with their admirable photographs
of Mr. Bensington complete and at home in his second-best
jacket and his slashed shoes. Other resolute-mannered
persons of various ages and sexes dropped in and told
him things about Boomfood it was Punch
first called the stuff “Boomfood” and
afterwards reproduced what they had said as his own
original contribution to the Interview. The thing
became quite an obsession with Broadbeam, the Popular
Humourist. He scented another confounded thing
he could not understand, and he fretted dreadfully
in his efforts to “laugh the thing down.”
One saw him in clubs, a great clumsy presence with
the evidences of his midnight oil burning manifest
upon his large unwholesome face, explaining to every
one he could buttonhole: “These Scientific
chaps, you know, haven’t a Sense of Humour, you
know. That’s what it is. This Science kills
it.” His jests at Bensington became malignant
libels....
An enterprising press-cutting agency
sent Bensington a long article about himself from
a sixpenny weekly, entitled “A New Terror,”
and offered to supply one hundred such disturbances
for a guinea, and two extremely charming young ladies,
totally unknown to him, called, and, to the speechless
indignation of Cousin Jane, had tea with him and afterwards
sent him their birthday books for his signature.
He was speedily quite hardened to seeing his name
associated with the most incongruous ideas in the
public press, and to discover in the reviews articles
written about Boomfood and himself in a tone of the
utmost intimacy by people he had never heard of.
And whatever delusions he may have cherished in the
days of his obscurity about the pleasantness of Fame
were dispelled utterly and for ever.
At first except for Broadbeam the
tone of the public mind was quite free from any touch
of hostility. It did not seem to occur to the
public mind as anything but a mere playful supposition
that any more Herakleophorbia was going to escape
again. And it did not seem to occur to the public
mind that the growing little band of babies now being
fed on the food would presently be growing more “up”
than most of us ever grow. The sort of thing
that pleased the public mind was caricatures of eminent
politicians after a course of Boom-feeding, uses of
the idea on hoardings, and such edifying exhibitions
as the dead wasps that had escaped the fire and the
remaining hens.
Beyond that the public did not care
to look, until very strenuous efforts were made to
turn its eyes to the remoter consequences, and even
then for a while its enthusiasm for action was partial.
“There’s always somethin’ New,”
said the public a public so glutted with
novelty that it would hear of the earth being split
as one splits an apple without surprise, and, “I
wonder what they’ll do next.”
But there were one or two people outside
the public, as it were, who did already take that
further glance, and some it seems were frightened by
what they saw there. There was young Caterham,
for example, cousin of the Earl of Pewterstone, and
one of the most promising of English politicians,
who, taking the risk of being thought a faddist, wrote
a long article in the Nineteenth Century and After
to suggest its total suppression. And in
certain of his moods, there was Bensington.
“They don’t seem to realise ”
he said to Cossar.
“No, they don’t.”
“And do we? Sometimes,
when I think of what it means This poor
child of Redwood’s And, of course,
your three... Forty feet high, perhaps!
After all, ought we to go on with it?”
“Go on with it!” cried
Cossar, convulsed with inelegant astonishment and
pitching his note higher than ever. “Of
course you’ll go on with it! What
d’you think you were made for? Just to loaf
about between meal-times?
“Serious consequences,”
he screamed, “of course! Enormous.
Obviously. Ob-viously. Why, man, it’s
the only chance you’ll ever get of a serious
consequence! And you want to shirk it!”
For a moment his indignation was speechless, “It’s
downright Wicked!” he said at last, and repeated
explosively, “Wicked!”
But Bensington worked in his laboratory
now with more emotion than zest. He couldn’t,
tell whether he wanted serious consequences to his
life or not; he was a man of quiet tastes. It
was a marvellous discovery, of course, quite marvellous but He
had already become the proprietor of several acres
of scorched, discredited property near Hickleybrow,
at a price of nearly £90 an acre, and at times he
was disposed to think this as serious a consequence
of speculative chemistry as any unambitious man, could
wish. Of course he was Famous terribly
Famous. More than satisfying, altogether more
than satisfying, was the Fame he had attained.
But the habit of Research was strong in him....
And at moments, rare moments in the
laboratory chiefly, he would find something else than
habit and Cossar’s arguments to urge him to his
work. This little spectacled man, poised perhaps
with his slashed shoes wrapped about the legs of his
high stool and his hand upon the tweezer of his balance
weights, would have again a flash of that adolescent
vision, would have a momentary perception of the eternal
unfolding of the seed that had been sown in his brain,
would see as it were in the sky, behind the grotesque
shapes and accidents of the present, the coming world
of giants and all the mighty things the future has
in store vague and splendid, like some
glittering palace seen suddenly in the passing of
a sunbeam far away.... And presently it would
be with him as though that distant splendour had never
shone upon his brain, and he would perceive nothing
ahead but sinister shadows, vast declivities and darknesses,
inhospitable immensities, cold, wild, and terrible
things.
II.-
Amidst the complex and confused happenings,
the impacts from the great outer world that constituted
Mr. Bensington’s fame, a shining and active
figure presently became conspicuous became
almost, as it were, a leader and marshal of these
externalities in Mr. Bensington’s eyes.
This was Dr. Winkles, that convincing young practitioner,
who has already appeared in this story as the means
whereby Redwood was able to convey the Food to his
son. Even before the great outbreak, it was evident
that the mysterious powders Redwood had given him
had awakened this gentleman’s interest immensely,
and so soon as the first wasps came he was putting
two and two together.
He was the sort of doctor that is
in manners, in morals, in methods and appearance,
most succinctly and finally expressed by the word “rising.”
He was large and fair, with a hard, alert, superficial,
aluminium-coloured eye, and hair like chalk mud, even-featured
and muscular about the clean-shaven mouth, erect in
figure and energetic in movement, quick and spinning
on the heel, and he wore long frock coats, black silk
ties and plain gold studs and chains and his silk hats
had a special shape and brim that made him look wiser
and better than anybody. He looked as young or
old as anybody grown up. And after that first
wonderful outbreak he took to Bensington and Redwood
and the Food of the Gods with such a convincing air
of proprietorship, that at times, in spite of the
testimony of the Press to the contrary, Bensington
was disposed to regard him as the original inventor
of the whole affair.
“These accidents,” said
Winkles, when Bensington hinted at the dangers of
further escapes, “are nothing. Nothing.
The discovery is everything. Properly developed,
suitably handled, sanely controlled, we have we
have something very portentous indeed in this food
of ours.... We must keep our eye on it ...
We mustn’t let it out of control again, and we
mustn’t let it rest.”
He certainly did not mean to do that.
He was at Bensington’s now almost every day.
Bensington, glancing from the window, would see the
faultless equipage come spanking up Sloane Street
and after an incredibly brief interval Winkles would
enter the room with a light, strong motion, and pervade
it, and protrude some newspaper and supply information
and make remarks.
“Well,” he would say,
rubbing his hands, “how are we getting on?”
and so pass to the current discussion about it.
“Do you see,” he would
say, for example, “that Caterham has been talking
about our stuff at the Church Association?”
“Dear me!” said Bensington,
“that’s a cousin of the Prime Minister,
isn’t it?”
“Yes,” said Winkles, “a
very able young man very able. Quite
wrong-headed; you know, violently reactionary but
thoroughly able. And he’s evidently disposed
to make capital out of this stuff of ours. Takes
a very emphatic line. Talks of our proposal to
use it in the elementary schools –”
“Our proposal to use it in the elementary schools!”
“I said something about
that the other day quite in passing little
affair at a Polytechnic. Trying to make it clear
the stuff was really highly beneficial. Not in
the slightest degree dangerous, in spite of those
first little accidents. Which cannot possibly
occur again.... You know it would be rather
good stuff But he’s taken it up.”
“What did you say?”
“Mere obvious nothings.
But as you see –! Takes it up with
perfect gravity. Treats the thing as an attack.
Says there is already a sufficient waste of public
money in elementary schools without this. Tells
the old stories about piano lessons again you
know. No one; he says, wishes to prevent the
children of the lower classes obtaining an education
suited to their condition, but to give them a food
of this sort will be to destroy their sense of proportion
utterly. Expands the topic. What Good will
it do, he asks, to make poor people six-and-thirty
feet high? He really believes, you know, that
they will be thirty-six feet high.”
“So they would be,”
said Bensington, “if you gave them our food at
all regularly. But nobody said anything –”
“I said something.”
“But, my dear Winkles !”
“They’ll be Bigger, of
course,” interrupted Winkles, with an air of
knowing all about it, and discouraging the crude ideas
of Bensington. “Bigger indisputably.
But listen to what he says! Will it make them
happier? That’s his point. Curious,
isn’t it? Will it make them better?
Will they be more respectful to properly constituted
authority? Is it fair to the children themselves??
Curious how anxious his sort are for justice so
far as any future arrangements go. Even nowadays,
he says, the cost, of feeding and clothing children
is more than many of their parents can contrive, and
if this sort of thing is to be permitted !
Eh?
“You see he makes my mere passing
suggestion into a positive proposal. And then
he calculates how much a pair of breeches for a growing
lad of twenty feet high or so will cost. Just
as though he really believed Ten pounds,
he reckons, for the merest decency. Curious this
Caterham! So concrete! The honest, and struggling
ratepayer will have to contribute to that, he says.
He says we have to consider the Rights of the Parent.
It’s all here. Two columns. Every Parent
has a right to have, his children brought up in his
own Size....
“Then comes the question of
school accommodation, cost of enlarged desks and forms
for our already too greatly burthened National Schools.
And to get what? a proletariat of hungry
giants. Winds up with a very serious passage,
says even if this wild suggestion mere passing
fancy of mine, you know, and misinterpreted at that this
wild suggestion about the schools comes to nothing,
that doesn’t end the matter. This is a strange
food, so strange as to seem to him almost wicked.
It has been scattered recklessly so he
says and it may be scattered again.
Once you’ve taken it, it’s poison unless
you go on with it. ‘So it is,’ said
Bensington. And in short he proposes the formation
of a National Society for the Preservation of the
Proper Proportions of Things. Odd? Eh?
People are hanging on to the idea like anything.”
“But what do they propose to do?”
Winkles shrugged his shoulders and
threw out his hands. “Form a Society,”
he said, “and fuss. They want to make it
illegal to manufacture this Herakleophorbia or
at any rate to circulate the knowledge of it.
I’ve written about a bit to show that Caterham’s
idea of the stuff is very much exaggerated very
much exaggerated indeed, but that doesn’t seem
to check it. Curious how people are turning against
it. And the National Temperance Association, by-the-bye,
has founded a branch for Temperance in Growth.”
“Mm,” said Bensington and stroked his
nose.
“After all that has happened
there’s bound to be this uproar. On the
face of it the thing’s startling.”
Winkles walked about the room for
a time, hesitated, and departed.
It became evident there was something
at the back of his mind, some aspect of crucial importance
to him, that he waited to display. One day, when
Redwood and Bensington were at the flat together he
gave them a glimpse of this something in reserve.
“How’s it all going?”
he said; rubbing his hands together.
“We’re getting together a sort of report.”
“For the Royal Society?”
“Yes.”
“Hm,” said. Winkles,
very profoundly, and walked to the hearth-rug.
“Hm. But Here’s the point.
Ought you?”
“Ought we what?”
“Ought you to publish?”
“We’re not in the Middle Ages,”
said Redwood.
“I know.”
“As Cossar says, swapping wisdom that’s
the true scientific method.”
“In most cases, certainly. But This
is exceptional.”
“We shall put the whole thing
before the Royal Society in the proper way,”
said Redwood.
Winkles returned to that on a later occasion.
“It’s in many ways an Exceptional discovery.”
“That doesn’t matter,” said Redwood.
“It’s the sort of knowledge
that could easily be subject to grave abuse grave
dangers, as Caterham puts it.”
Redwood said nothing.
“Even carelessness, you know ”
“If we were to form a committee
of trustworthy people to control the manufacture of
Boomfood Herakleophorbia, I should
say we might ”
He paused, and Redwood, with a certain
private discomfort, pretended that he did not see
any sort of interrogation....
Outside the apartments of Redwood
and Bensington, Winkle, in spite of the incompleteness
of his instructions, became a leading authority upon
Boomfood. He wrote letters defending its use;
he made notes and articles explaining its possibilities;
he jumped up irrelevantly at the meetings of the scientific
and medical associations to talk about it; he identified
himself with it. He published a pamphlet called
“The Truth about Boomfood,” in which he
minimised the whole of the Hickleybrow affair almost
to nothing. He said that it was absurd to say
Boomfood would make people thirty-seven feet high.
That was “obviously exaggerated.”
It would make them Bigger, of course, but that was
all....
Within that intimate circle of two
it was chiefly evident that Winkles was extremely
anxious to help in the making of Herakleophorbia, help
in correcting any proofs there might be of any paper
there might be in preparation upon the subject do
anything indeed that might lead up to his participation
in the details of the making of Herakleophorbia.
He was continually telling them both that he felt
it was a Big Thing, that it had big possibilities.
If only they were “safeguarded in
some way.” And at last one day he asked
outright to be told just how it was made.
“I’ve been thinking over what you said,”
said Redwood.
“Well?” said Winkles brightly.
“It’s the sort of knowledge
that could easily be subject to grave abuse,”
said Redwood.
“But I don’t see how that applies,”
said Winkles.
“It does,” said Redwood.
Winkles thought it over for a day
or so. Then he came to Redwood and said that
he doubted if he ought to give powders about which
he knew nothing to Redwood’s little boy; it
seemed to him it was uncommonly like taking responsibility
in the dark. That made Redwood thoughtful.
“You’ve seen that the
Society for the Total Suppression of Boomfood claims
to have several thousand members,” said Winkles,
changing the subject. “They’ve drafted
a Bill,” said Winkles. “They’ve
got young Caterham to take it up readily
enough. They’re in earnest. They’re
forming local committees to influence candidates.
They want to make it penal to prepare and store Herakleophorbia
without special license, and felony matter
of imprisonment without option to administer
Boomfood that’s what they call it,
you know to any person under one-and-twenty.
But there’s collateral societies, you know.
All sorts of people. The Society for the Preservation
of Ancient Statures is going to have Mr. Frederic
Harrison on the council, they say. You know he’s
written an essay about it; says it is vulgar, and entirely
inharmonious with that Revelation of Humanity that
is found in the teachings of Comte. It is the
sort of thing the Eighteenth Century couldn’t
have produced even in its worst moments. The
idea of the Food never entered the head of Comte which
shows how wicked it really is. No one, he says,
who really understood Comte....”
“But you don’t mean to
say ” said Redwood, alarmed out of
his disdain for Winkles.
“They’ll not do all that,”
said Winkles. “But public opinion is public
opinion, and votes are votes. Everybody can see
you are up to a disturbing thing. And the human
instinct is all against disturbance, you know.
Nobody seems to believe Caterham’s idea of people
thirty-seven feet high, who won’t be able to
get inside a church, or a meeting-house, or any social
or human institution. But for all that they’re
not so easy in their minds about it. They see
there’s something something more than
a common discovery ”
“There is,” said Redwood, “in every
discovery.”
“Anyhow, they’re getting restive.
Caterham keeps harping on what may happen if it gets
loose again. I say over and over again, it won’t,
and it can’t. But there it is!”
And he bounced about the room for
a little while as if he meant to reopen the topic
of the secret, and then thought better of it and went.
The two scientific men looked at one
another. For a space only their eyes spoke.
“If the worst comes to the worst,”
said Redwood at last, in a strenuously calm voice,
“I shall give the Food to my little Teddy with
my own hands.”
III.-
It was only a few days after this
that Redwood opened his paper to find that the Prime
Minister had promised a Royal Commission on Boomfood.
This sent him, newspaper in hand, round to Bensington’s
flat.
“Winkles, I believe, is making
mischief for the stuff. He plays into the hands
of Caterham. He keeps on talking about it, and
what it is going to do, and alarming people.
If he goes on, I really believe he’ll hamper
our inquiries. Even as it is with this
trouble about my little boy ”
Bensington wished Winkles wouldn’t.
“Do you notice how he has dropped into the way
of calling it Boomfood?”
“I don’t like that name,”
said Bensington, with a glance over his glasses.
“It is just so exactly what it is to
Winkles.”
“Why does he keep on about it? It isn’t
his!”
“It’s something called
Booming,” said Redwood. “I don’t
understand. If it isn’t his, everybody
is getting to think it is. Not that that
matters.”
“In the event of this ignorant,
this ridiculous agitation becoming Serious,”
began Bensington.
“My little boy can’t get
on without the stuff,” said Redwood. “I
don’t see how I can help myself now. If
the worst comes to the worst ”
A slight bouncing noise proclaimed
the presence of Winkles. He became visible in
the middle of the room rubbing his hands together.
“I wish you’d knock,”
said Bensington, looking vicious over the gold rims.
Winkles was apologetic. Then
he turned to Redwood. “I’m glad to
find you here,” he began; “the fact is ”
“Have you seen about this Royal
Commission?” interrupted Redwood.
“Yes,” said Winkles, thrown out.
“Yes.”
“What do you think of it?”
“Excellent thing,” said
Winkles. “Bound to stop most of this clamour.
Ventilate the whole affair. Shut up Caterham.
But that’s not what I came round for, Redwood.
The fact is ”
“I don’t like this Royal Commission,”
said Bensington.
“I can assure you it will be
all right. I may say I don’t
think it’s a breach of confidence that
very possibly I may have a place on the Commission ”
“Oom,” said Redwood, looking into the
fire.
“I can put the whole thing right.
I can make it perfectly clear, first, that the stuff
is controllable, and, secondly, that nothing short
of a miracle is needed before anything like that catastrophe
at Hickleybrow can possibly happen again. That
is just what is wanted, an authoritative assurance.
Of course, I could speak with more confidence if I
knew But that’s quite by the way.
And just at present there’s something else,
another little matter, upon which I’m wanting
to consult you. Ahem. The fact is Well I
happen to be in a slight difficulty, and you can help
me out.”
Redwood raised his eyebrows, and was secretly glad.
“The matter is highly confidential.”
“Go on,” said Redwood. “Don’t
worry about that.”
“I have recently been entrusted
with a child the child of of
an Exalted Personage.”
Winkles coughed.
“You’re getting on,” said Redwood.
“I must confess it’s largely
your powders and the reputation of my success
with your little boy There is, I cannot
disguise, a strong feeling against its use. And
yet I find that among the more intelligent One
must go quietly in these things, you know little
by little. Still, in the case of Her Serene High I
mean this new little patient of mine. As a matter
of fact the suggestion came from the parent.
Or I should never ”
He struck Redwood as being embarrassed.
“I thought you had a doubt of
the advisability of using these powders,” said
Redwood.
“Merely a passing doubt.”
“You don’t propose to discontinue ”
“In the case of your little boy? Certainly
not!”
“So far as I can see, it would be murder.”
“I wouldn’t do it for the world.”
“You shall have the powders,” said Redwood.
“I suppose you couldn’t ”
“No fear,” said Redwood.
“There isn’t a recipe. It’s
no good, Winkles, if you’ll pardon my frankness.
I’ll make you the powders myself.”
“Just as well, perhaps,”
said Winkles, after a momentary hard stare at Redwood “just
as well.” And then: “I can assure
you I really don’t mind in the least.”
IV.-
When Winkles had gone Bensington came
and stood on the hearth-rug and looked down at Redwood.
“Her Serene Highness!” he remarked.
“Her Serene Highness!” said Redwood.
“It’s the Princess of Weser Dreiburg!”
“No further than a third cousin.”
“Redwood,” said Bensington;
“it’s a curious thing to say, I know,
but do you think Winkles understands?”
“What?”
“Just what it is we have made.
“Does he really understand,”
said Bensington, dropping his voice and keeping his
eye doorward, “that in the Family the
Family of his new patient ”
“Go on,” said Redwood.
“Who have always been if anything a little under under ”
“The Average?”
“Yes. And so very
tactfully undistinguished in any way, he is
going to produce a royal personage an outsize
royal personage of that size.
You know, Redwood, I’m not sure whether there
is not something almost treasonable
...”
He transferred his eyes from the door to Redwood.
Redwood flung a momentary gesture index
finger erect at the fire. “By
Jove!” he said, “he doesn’t
know!”
“That man,” said Redwood,
“doesn’t know anything. That was his
most exasperating quality as a student. Nothing.
He passed all his examinations, he had all his facts and
he had just as much knowledge as a rotating
bookshelf containing the Times Encyclopedia.
And he doesn’t know anything now.
He’s Winkles, and incapable of really assimilating
anything not immediately and directly related to his
superficial self. He is utterly void of imagination
and, as a consequence, incapable of knowledge.
No one could possibly pass so many examinations and
be so well dressed, so well done, and so successful
as a doctor without that precise incapacity.
That’s it. And in spite of all he’s
seen and heard and been told, there he is he
has no idea whatever of what he has set going.
He has got a Boom on, he’s working it well on
Boomfood, and some one has let him in to this new Royal
Baby and that’s Boomier than ever!
And the fact that Weser Dreiburg will presently have
to face the gigantic problem of a thirty-odd-foot Princess
not only hasn’t entered his head, but couldn’t it
couldn’t!”
“There’ll be a fearful row,” said
Bensington.
“In a year or so.”
“So soon as they really see she is going on
growing.”
“Unless after their fashion they
hush it up.”
“It’s a lot to hush up.”
“Rather!”
“I wonder what they’ll do?”
“They never do anything Royal tact.”
“They’re bound to do something.”
“Perhaps she will.”
“O Lord! Yes.”
“They’ll suppress her. Such things
have been known.”
Redwood burst into desperate laughter.
“The redundant royalty the bouncing
babe in the Iron Mask!” he said. “They’ll
have to put her in the tallest tower of the old Weser
Dreiburg castle and make holes in the ceilings as
she grows from floor to floor! Well, I’m
in the very same pickle. And Cossar and his three
boys. And Well, well.”
“There’ll be a fearful
row,” Bensington repeated, not joining in the
laughter. “A fearful row.”
“I suppose,” he argued,
“you’ve really thought it out thoroughly,
Redwood. You’re quite sure it wouldn’t
be wiser to warn Winkles, wean your little boy gradually,
and and rely upon the Theoretical Triumph?”
“I wish to goodness you’d
spend half an hour in my nursery when the Food’s
a little late,” said Redwood, with a note of
exasperation in his voice; “then you wouldn’t
talk like that, Bensington. Besides Fancy
warning Winkles... No! The tide of this thing
has caught us unawares, and whether we’re frightened
or whether we’re not we’ve
got to swim!”
“I suppose we have,” said
Bensington, staring at his toes. “Yes.
We’ve got to swim. And your boy will have
to swim, and Cossar’s boys he’s
given it to all three of them. Nothing partial
about Cossar all or nothing! And Her
Serene Highness. And everything. We are going
on making the Food. Cossar also. We’re
only just in the dawn of the beginning, Redwood.
It’s evident all sorts of things are to follow.
Monstrous great things. But I can’t imagine
them, Redwood. Except ”
He scanned his finger nails.
He looked up at Redwood with eyes bland through his
glasses.
“I’ve half a mind,”
he adventured, “that Caterham is right.
At times. It’s going to destroy the Proportions
of Things. It’s going to dislocate What
isn’t it going to dislocate?”
“Whatever it dislocates,”
said Redwood, “my little boy must have the Food.”
They heard some one falling rapidly
upstairs. Then Cossar put his head into the fiat.
“Hullo!” he said at their expressions,
and entering, “Well?”
They told him about the Princess.
“Difficult question!”
he remarked. “Not a bit of it. She’ll
grow. Your boy’ll grow. All the others
you give it to ’ll grow. Everything.
Like anything. What’s difficult about that?
That’s all right. A child could tell you
that. Where’s the bother?”
They tried to make it clear to him.
“Not go on with it!”
he shrieked. “But ! You can’t
help yourselves now. It’s what you’re
for. It’s what Winkles is for. It’s
all right. Often wondered what Winkles was for.
Now it’s obvious. What’s the
trouble?
“Disturbance? Obviously.
Upset things? Upset everything. Finally upset
every human concern. Plain as a pikestaff.
They’re going to try and stop it, but they’re
too late. It’s their way to be too late.
You go on and start as much of it as you can.
Thank God He has a use for you!”
“But the conflict!” said
Bensington, “the stress! I don’t know
if you have imagined ”
“You ought to have been some
sort of little vegetable, Bensington,” said
Cossar “that’s what you ought
to have been. Something growing over a rockery.
Here you are, fearfully and wonderfully made, and all
you think you’re made for is just to sit about
and take your vittles. D’you think this
world was made for old women to mop about in?
Well, anyhow, you can’t help yourselves now you’ve
got to go on.”
“I suppose we must,” said Redwood.
“Slowly ”
“No!” said Cossar, in
a huge shout. “No! Make as much as
you can and as soon as you can. Spread it about!”
He was inspired to a stroke of wit.
He parodied one of Redwood’s curves with a vast
upward sweep of his arm.
“Redwood!” he said, to point the allusion,
“make it SO!”
V.-
There is, it seems, an upward limit
to the pride of maternity, and this in the case of
Mrs. Redwood was reached when her offspring completed
his sixth month of terrestrial existence, broke down
his high-class bassinet-perambulator, and was brought
home, bawling, in the milk-truck. Young Redwood
at that time weighed fifty-nine and a half pounds,
measured forty-eight inches in height, and gripped
about sixty pounds. He was carried upstairs to
the nursery by the cook and housemaid. After
that, discovery was only a question of days. One
afternoon Redwood came home from his laboratory to
find his unfortunate wife deep in the fascinating
pages of The Mighty Atom, and at the sight of
him she put the book aside and ran violently forward
and burst into tears on his shoulder.
“Tell me what you have done
to him,” she wailed. “Tell me what
you have done.” Redwood took her hand and
led her to the sofa, while he tried to think of a
satisfactory line of defence.
“It’s all right, my dear,”
he said; “it’s all right. You’re
only a little overwrought. It’s that cheap
perambulator. I’ve arranged for a bath-chair
man to come round with something stouter to-morrow ”
Mrs. Redwood looked at him tearfully
over the top of her handkerchief.
“A baby in a bath-chair?” she sobbed.
“Well, why not?”
“It’s like a cripple.”
“It’s like a young giant,
my dear, and you’ve no cause to be ashamed of
him.”
“You’ve done something
to him, Dandy,” she said. “I can see
it in your face.”
“Well, it hasn’t stopped
his growth, anyhow,” said Redwood heartlessly.
“I knew,” said
Mrs. Redwood, and clenched her pocket-handkerchief
ball fashion in one hand. She looked at him with
a sudden change to severity. “What have
you done to our child, Dandy?”
“What’s wrong with him?”
“He’s so big. He’s a monster.”
“Nonsense. He’s as
straight and clean a baby as ever a woman had.
What’s wrong with him?”
“Look at his size.”
“That’s all right.
Look at the puny little brutes about us! He’s
the finest baby ”
“He’s too fine,” said Mrs.
Redwood.
“It won’t go on,”
said Redwood reassuringly; “it’s just a
start he’s taken.”
But he knew perfectly well it would
go on. And it did. By the time this baby
was twelve months old he tottered just one inch under
five feet high and scaled eight stone three; he was
as big in fact as a St. Peter’s in Vaticano
cherub, and his affectionate clutch at the hair and
features of visitors became the talk of West Kensington.
They had an invalid’s chair to carry him up
and down to his nursery, and his special nurse, a
muscular young person just out of training, used to
take him for his airings in a Panhard 8 h.p. hill-climbing
perambulator specially made to meet his requirement.
It was lucky in every way that Redwood had his expert
witness connection in addition to his professorship.
When one got over the shock of little
Redwood’s enormous size, he was, I am told by
people who used to see him almost daily teufteufing
slowly about Hyde Park, a singularly bright and pretty
baby. He rarely cried or needed a comforter.
Commonly he clutched a big rattle, and sometimes he
went along hailing the bus-drivers and policemen along
the road outside the railings as “Dadda!”
and “Babba!” in a sociable, democratic
way.
“There goes that there great
Boomfood baby,” the bus-driver used to say.
“Looks ’ealthy,” the forward passenger
would remark.
“Bottle fed,” the bus-driver
would explain. “They say it ’olds
a gallon and ’ad to be specially made for ’im.”
“Very ’ealthy child any’ow,”
the forward passenger would conclude.
When Mrs. Redwood realized that his
growth was indeed going on indefinitely and logically and
this she really did for the first time when the motor-perambulator
arrived she gave way to a passion of grief.
She declared she never wished to enter her nursery
again, wished she was dead, wished the child was dead,
wished everybody was dead, wished she had never married
Redwood, wished no one ever married anybody, Ajaxed
a little, and retired to her own room, where she lived
almost exclusively on chicken broth for three days.
When Redwood came to remonstrate with her, she banged
pillows about and wept and tangled her hair.
“He’s all right,”
said Redwood. “He’s all the better
for being big. You wouldn’t like him smaller
than other people’s children.”
“I want him to be like
other children, neither smaller nor bigger. I
wanted him to be a nice little boy, just as Georgina
Phyllis is a nice little girl, and I wanted to bring
him up nicely in a nice way, and here he is” and
the unfortunate woman’s voice broke “wearing
number four grown-up shoes and being wheeled about
by booboo! Petroleum!
“I can never love him,”
she wailed, “never! He’s too much
for me! I can never be a mother to him, such
as I meant to be!”
But at last, they contrived to get
her into the nursery, and there was Edward Monson
Redwood ("Pantagruel” was only a later nickname)
swinging in a specially strengthened rocking-chair
and smiling and talking “goo” and “wow.”
And the heart of Mrs. Redwood warmed again to her child,
and she went and held him in her arms and wept.
“They’ve done something
to you,” she sobbed, “and you’ll
grow and grow, dear; but whatever I can do to bring
you up nice I’ll do for you, whatever your father
may say.”
And Redwood, who had helped to bring
her to the door, went down the passage much relieved.
(Eh! but it’s a base job this being a man with
women as they are!)
VI.-
Before the year was out there were,
in addition to Redwood’s pioneer vehicle, quite
a number of motor-perambulators to be seen in the west
of London. I am told there were as many as eleven;
but the most careful inquiries yield trustworthy evidence
of only six within the Metropolitan area at that time.
It would seem the stuff acted differently upon different
types of constitution. At first Herakleophorbia
was not adapted to injection, and there can be no
doubt that quite a considerable proportion of human
beings are incapable of absorbing this substance in
the normal course of digestion. It was given,
for example, to Winkles’ youngest boy; but he
seems to have been as incapable of growth as, if Redwood
was right, his father was incapable of knowledge.
Others again, according to the Society for the Total
Suppression of Boomfood, became in some inexplicable
way corrupted by it, and perished at the onset of
infantile disorders. The Cossar boys took to it
with amazing avidity.
Of course a thing of this kind never
comes with absolute simplicity of application into
the life of man; growth in particular is a complex
thing, and all generalisations must needs be a little
inaccurate. But the general law of the Food would
seem to be this, that when it could be taken into
the system in any way it stimulated it in very nearly
the same degree in all cases. It increased the
amount of growth from six to seven times, and it did
not go beyond that, whatever amount of the Food in
excess was taken. Excess of Herakleophorbia indeed
beyond the necessary minimum led, it was found, to
morbid disturbances of nutrition, to cancer and tumours,
ossifications, and the like. And once growth
upon the large scale had begun, it was soon evident
that it could only continue upon that scale, and that
the continuous administration of Herakleophorbia in
small but sufficient doses was imperative.
If it was discontinued while growth
was still going on, there was first a vague restlessness
and distress, then a period of voracity as
in the case of the young rats at Hankey and
then the growing creature had a sort of exaggerated
anæmia and sickened and died. Plants suffered
in a similar way. This, however, applied only
to the growth period. So soon as adolescence
was attained in plants this was represented
by the formation of the first flower-buds the
need and appetite for Herakleophorbia diminished,
and so soon as the plant or animal was fully adult,
it became altogether independent of any further supply
of the food. It was, as it were, completely established
on the new scale. It was so completely established
on the new scale that, as the thistles about Hickleybrow
and the grass of the down side already demonstrated,
its seed produced giant offspring after its kind.
And presently little Redwood, pioneer
of the new race, first child of all who ate the food,
was crawling about his nursery, smashing furniture,
biting like a horse, pinching like a vice, and bawling
gigantic baby talk at his “Nanny” and “Mammy”
and the rather scared and awe-stricken “Daddy,”
who had set this mischief going.
The child was born with good intentions.
“Padda be good, be good,” he used to say
as the breakables flew before him. “Padda”
was his rendering of Pantagruel, the nickname Redwood
imposed on him. And Cossar, disregarding certain
Ancient Lights that presently led to trouble, did,
after a conflict with the local building regulations,
get building on a vacant piece of ground adjacent
to Redwood’s home, a comfortable well-lit playroom,
schoolroom, and nursery for their four boys sixty
feet square about this room was, and forty feet high.
Redwood fell in love with that great
nursery as he and Cossar built it, and his interest
in curves faded, as he had never dreamt it could fade,
before the pressing needs of his son. “There
is much,” he said, “in fitting a nursery.
Much.
“The walls, the things in it,
they will all speak to this new mind of ours, a little
more, a little less eloquently, and teach it, or fail
to teach it a thousand things.”
“Obviously,” said Cossar, reaching hastily
for his hat.
They worked together harmoniously,
but Redwood supplied most of the educational theory
required ...
They had the walls and woodwork painted
with a cheerful vigour; for the most part a slightly
warmed white prevailed, but there were bands of bright
clean colour to enforce the simple lines of construction.
“Clean colours we must have,” said
Redwood, and in one place had a neat horizontal band
of squares, in which crimson and purple, orange and
lemon, blues and greens, in many hues and many shades,
did themselves honour. These squares the giant
children should arrange and rearrange to their pleasure.
“Decorations must follow,” said Redwood;
“let them first get the range of all the tints,
and then this may go away. There is no reason
why one should bias them in favour of any particular
colour or design.”
Then, “The place must be full
of interest,” said Redwood. “Interest
is food for a child, and blankness torture and starvation.
He must have pictures galore.” There were
no pictures hung about the room for any permanent
service, however, but blank frames were provided into
which new pictures would come and pass thence into
a portfolio so soon as their fresh interest had passed.
There was one window that looked down the length of
a street, and in addition, for an added interest, Redwood
had contrived above the roof of the nursery a camera
obscura that watched the Kensington High Street
and not a little of the Gardens.
In one corner that most worthy implement,
an Abacus, four feet square, a specially strengthened
piece of ironmongery with rounded corners, awaited
the young giants’ incipient computations.
There were few woolly lambs and such-like idols, but
instead Cossar, without explanation, had brought one
day in three four-wheelers a great number of toys (all
just too big for the coming children to swallow) that
could be piled up, arranged in rows, rolled about,
bitten, made to flap and rattle, smacked together,
felt over, pulled out, opened, closed, and mauled and
experimented with to an interminable extent. There
were many bricks of wood in diverse colours, oblong
and cuboid, bricks of polished china, bricks of transparent
glass and bricks of india-rubber; there were slabs
and slates; there were cones, truncated cones, and
cylinders; there were oblate and prolate spheroids,
balls of varied substances, solid and hollow, many
boxes of diverse size and shape, with hinged lids and
screw lids and fitting lids, and one or two to catch
and lock; there were bands of elastic and leather,
and a number of rough and sturdy little objects of
a size together that could stand up steadily and suggest
the shape of a man. “Give ’em these,”
said Cossar. “One at a time.”
These things Redwood arranged in a
locker in one corner. Along one side of the room,
at a convenient height for a six-or eight-foot child,
there was a blackboard, on which the youngsters might
flourish in white and coloured chalk, and near by
a sort of drawing block, from which sheet after sheet
might be torn, and on which they could draw in charcoal,
and a little desk there was, furnished with great
carpenter’s pencils of varying hardness and
a copious supply of paper, on which the boys might
first scribble and then draw more neatly. And
moreover Redwood gave orders, so far ahead did his
imagination go, for specially large tubes of liquid
paint and boxes of pastels against the time when they
should be needed. He laid in a cask or so of
plasticine and modelling clay. “At first
he and his tutor shall model together,” he said,
“and when he is more skilful he shall copy casts
and perhaps animals. And that reminds me, I must
also have made for him a box of tools!
“Then books. I shall have
to look out a lot of books to put in his way, and
they’ll have to be big type. Now what sort
of books will he need? There is his imagination
to be fed. That, after all, is the crown of every
education. The crown as sound habits
of mind and conduct are the throne. No imagination
at all is brutality; a base imagination is lust and
cowardice; but a noble imagination is God walking the
earth again. He must dream too of a dainty fairy-land
and of all the quaint little things of life, in due
time. But he must feed chiefly on the splendid
real; he shall have stories of travel through all the
world, travels and adventures and how the world was
won; he shall have stories of beasts, great books
splendidly and clearly done of animals and birds and
plants and creeping things, great books about the
deeps of the sky and the mystery of the sea; he shall
have histories and maps of all the empires the world
has seen, pictures and stories of all the tribes and
habits and customs of men. And he must have books
and pictures to quicken his sense of beauty, subtle
Japanese pictures to make him love the subtler beauties
of bird and tendril and falling flower, and western
pictures too, pictures of gracious men and women,
sweet groupings, and broad views of land and sea.
He shall have books on the building of houses and
palaces; he shall plan rooms and invent cities
“I think I must give him a little theatre.
“Then there is music!”
Redwood thought that over, and decided
that his son might best begin with a very pure-sounding
harmonicon of one octave, to which afterwards there
could be an extension. “He shall play with
this first, sing to it and give names to the notes,”
said Redwood, “and afterwards ?”
He stared up at the window-sill overhead
and measured the size of the room with his eye.
“They’ll have to build
his piano in here,” he said. “Bring
it in in pieces.”
He hovered about amidst his preparations,
a pensive, dark, little figure. If you could
have seen him there he would have looked to you like
a ten-inch man amidst common nursery things. A
great rug indeed it was a Turkey carpet four
hundred square feet of it, upon which young Redwood
was soon to crawl stretched to the grill-guarded
electric radiator that was to warm the whole place.
A man from Cossar’s hung amidst scaffolding
overhead, fixing the great frame that was to hold the
transitory pictures. A blotting-paper book for
plant specimens as big as a house door leant against
the wall, and from it projected a gigantic stalk,
a leaf edge or so and one flower of chickweed, all
of that gigantic size that was soon to make Urshot
famous throughout the botanical world ...
A sort of incredulity came to Redwood
as he stood among these things.
“If it really is going
on ” said Redwood, staring up at the
remote ceiling.
From far away came a sound like the
bellowing of a Mafficking bull, almost as if in answer.
“It’s going on all right,” said
Redwood. “Evidently.”
There followed resounding blows upon
a table, followed by a vast crowing shout, “Gooloo!
Boozoo! Bzz ...”
“The best thing I can do,”
said Redwood, following out some divergent line of
thought, “is to teach him myself.”
That beating became more insistent.
For a moment it seemed to Redwood that it caught the
rhythm of an engine’s throbbing the
engine he could have imagined of some great train
of events that bore down upon him. Then a descendant
flight of sharper beats broke up that effect, and were
repeated.
“Come in,” he cried, perceiving
that some one rapped, and the door that was big enough
for a cathedral opened slowly a little way. The
new winch ceased to creak, and Bensington appeared
in the crack, gleaming benevolently under his protruded
baldness and over his glasses.
“I’ve ventured round to
see,” he whispered in a confidentially
furtive manner.
“Come in,” said Redwood,
and he did, shutting the door behind him.
He walked forward, hands behind his
back, advanced a few steps, and peered up with a bird-like
movement at the dimensions about him. He rubbed
his chin thoughtfully.
“Every time I come in,”
he said, with a subdued note in his voice, “it
strikes me as ’Big.’”
“Yes,” said Redwood, surveying
it all again also, as if in an endeavour to keep hold
of the visible impression. “Yes. They’re
going to be big too, you know.”
“I know,” said Bensington,
with a note that was nearly awe. “Very
big.”
They looked at one another, almost,
as it were, apprehensively.
“Very big indeed,” said
Bensington, stroking the bridge of his nose, and with
one eye that watched Redwood doubtfully for a confirmatory
expression. “All of them, you know fearfully
big. I don’t seem able to imagine even
with this just how big they’re all
going to be.”