THE MINIMIFICENCE OF MR. BENSINGTON.
I.-
It was while the Royal Commission
on Boomfood was preparing its report that Herakleophorbia
really began to demonstrate its capacity for leakage.
And the earliness of this second outbreak was the more
unfortunate, from the point of view of Cossar at any
rate, since the draft report still in existence shows
that the Commission had, under the tutelage of that
most able member, Doctor Stephen Winkles (F.R.S.
M.D. F.R.C.P. D. Sc. J.P. D.L.
etc.), already quite made up its mind that accidental
leakages were impossible, and was prepared to recommend
that to entrust the preparation of Boomfood to a qualified
committee (Winkles chiefly), with an entire control
over its sale, was quite enough to satisfy all reasonable
objections to its free diffusion. This committee
was to have an absolute monopoly. And it is, no
doubt, to be considered as a part of the irony of
life that the first and most alarming of this second
series of leakages occurred within fifty yards of a
little cottage at Keston occupied during the summer
months by Doctor Winkles.
There can be little doubt now that
Redwood’s refusal to acquaint Winkles with the
composition of Herakleophorbia IV. had aroused in that
gentleman a novel and intense desire towards analytical
chemistry. He was not a very expert manipulator,
and for that reason probably he saw fit to do his
work not in the excellently equipped laboratories that
were at his disposal in London, but without consulting
any one, and almost with an air of secrecy, in a rough
little garden laboratory at the Keston establishment.
He does not seem to have shown either very great energy
or very great ability in this quest; indeed one gathers
he dropped the inquiry after working at it intermittently
for about a month.
This garden laboratory, in which the
work was done, was very roughly equipped, supplied
by a standpipe tap with water, and draining into a
pipe that ran down into a swampy rush-bordered pool
under an alder tree in a secluded corner of the common
just outside the garden hedge. The pipe was cracked,
and the residuum of the Food of the Gods escaped through
the crack into a little puddle amidst clumps of rushes,
just in time for the spring awakening.
Everything was astir with life in
that scummy little corner. There was frog spawn
adrift, tremulous with tadpoles just bursting their
gelatinous envelopes; there were little pond snails
creeping out into life, and under the green skin of
the rush stems the larvae of a big Water Beetle were
struggling out of their egg cases. I doubt if
the reader knows the larva of the beetle called (I
know not why) Dytiscus. It is a jointed, queer-looking
thing, very muscular and sudden in its movements,
and given to swimming head downward with its tail out
of water; the length of a man’s top thumb joint
it is, and more two inches, that is for
those who have not eaten the Food and it
has two sharp jaws that meet in front of its head tubular
jaws with sharp points through which its
habit is to suck its victim’s blood ...
The first things to get at the drifting
grains of the Food were the little tadpoles and the
little water snails; the little wriggling tadpoles
in particular, once they had the taste of it, took
to it with zest. But scarcely did one of them
begin to grow into a conspicuous position in that
little tadpole world and try a smaller brother or so
as an aid to a vegetarian dietary, when nip! one of
the Beetle larva had its curved bloodsucking prongs
gripping into his heart, and with that red stream
went Herakleophorbia IV, in a state of solution, into
the being of a new client. The only thing that
had a chance with these monsters to get any share
of the Food were the rushes and slimy green scum in
the water and the seedling weeds in the mud at the
bottom. A clean up of the study presently washed
a fresh spate of the Food into the puddle, and overflowed
it, and carried all this sinister expansion of the
struggle for life into the adjacent pool under the
roots of the alder...
The first person to discover what
was going on was a Mr. Lukey Carrington, a special
science teacher under the London Education Board,
and, in his leisure, a specialist in fresh-water algae,
and he is certainly not to be envied his discovery.
He had come down to Keston Common for the day to fill
a number of specimen tubes for subsequent examination,
and he came, with a dozen or so of corked tubes clanking
faintly in his pocket, over the sandy crest and down
towards the pool, spiked walking stick in hand.
A garden lad standing on the top of the kitchen steps
clipping Doctor Winkles’ hedge saw him in this
unfrequented corner, and found him and his occupation
sufficiently inexplicable and interesting to watch
him pretty closely.
He saw Mr. Carrington stoop down by
the side of the pool, with his hand against the old
alder stem, and peer into the water, but of course
he could not appreciate the surprise and pleasure
with which Mr. Carrington beheld the big unfamiliar-looking
blobs and threads of the algal scum at the bottom.
There were no tadpoles visible they had
all been killed by that time and it would
seem Mr. Carrington saw nothing at all unusual except
the excessive vegetation. He bared his arm to
the elbow, leant forward, and dipped deep in pursuit
of a specimen. His seeking hand went down.
Instantly there flashed out of the cool shadow under
the tree roots something
Flash! It had buried its fangs
deep into his arm a bizarre shape it was,
a foot long and more, brown and jointed like a scorpion.
Its ugly apparition and the sharp
amazing painfulness of its bite were too much for
Mr. Carrington’s equilibrium. He felt himself
going, and yelled aloud. Over he toppled, face
foremost, splash! into the pool.
The boy saw him vanish, and heard
the splashing of his struggle in the water. The
unfortunate man emerged again into the boy’s
field of vision, hatless and streaming with water,
and screaming!
Never before had the boy heard screams from a man.
This astonishing stranger appeared
to be tearing at something on the side of his face.
There appeared streaks of blood there. He flung
out his arms as if in despair, leapt in the air like
a frantic creature, ran violently ten or twelve yards,
and then fell and rolled on the ground and over and
out of sight of the boy. The lad was down the
steps and through the hedge in a trice happily
with the garden shears still in hand. As he came
crashing through the gorse bushes, he says he was half
minded to turn back, fearing he had to deal with a
lunatic, but the possession of the shears reassured
him. “I could ’ave jabbed his
eyes,” he explained, “anyhow.”
Directly Mr. Carrington caught sight of him, his demeanour
became at once that of a sane but desperate man.
He struggled to his feet, stumbled, stood up, and
came to meet the boy.
“Look!” he cried, “I can’t
get ’em off!”
And with a qualm of horror the boy
saw that, attached to Mr. Carrington’s cheek,
to his bare arm, and to his thigh, and lashing furiously
with their lithe brown muscular bodies, were three
of these horrible larvae, their great jaws buried
deep in his flesh and sucking for dear life.
They had the grip of bulldogs, and Mr. Carrington’s
efforts to detach the monsters from his face had only
served to lacerate the flesh to which it had attached
itself, and streak face and neck and coat with living
scarlet.
“I’ll cut ’im,” cried the
boy; “’old on, Sir.”
And with the zest of his age in such
proceedings, he severed one by one the heads from
the bodies of Mr. Carrington’s assailants.
“Yup,” said the boy with a wincing face
as each one fell before him. Even then, so tough
and determined was their grip that the severed heads
remained for a space, still fiercely biting home and
still sucking, with the blood streaming out of their
necks behind. But the boy stopped that with a
few more slashes of his scissors in one
of which Mr. Carrington was implicated.
“I couldn’t get ’em
off!” repeated Carrington, and stood for a space,
swaying and bleeding profusely. He dabbed feeble
hands at his injuries and examined the result upon
his palms. Then he gave way at the knees and
fell headlong in a dead faint at the boy’s feet,
between the still leaping bodies of his defeated foes.
Very luckily it didn’t occur to the boy to splash
water on his face for there were still more
of these horrors under the alder roots and
instead he passed back by the pond and went into the
garden with the intention of calling assistance.
And there he met the gardener coachman and told him
of the whole affair.
When they got back to Mr. Carrington
he was sitting up, dazed and weak, but able to warn
them against the danger in the pool.
II.-
Such were the circumstances by which
the world had its first notification that the Food
was loose again. In another week Keston Common
was in full operation as what naturalists call a centre
of distribution. This time there were no wasps
or rats, no earwigs and no nettles, but there were
at least three water-spiders, several dragon-fly larvae
which presently became dragon-flies, dazzling all Kent
with their hovering sapphire bodies, and a nasty gelatinous,
scummy growth that swelled over the pond margin, and
sent its slimy green masses surging halfway up the
garden path to Doctor Winkles’s house. And
there began a growth of rushes and equisetum and potamogeton
that ended only with the drying of the pond.
It speedily became evident to the
public mind that this time there was not simply one
centre of distribution, but quite a number of centres.
There was one at Ealing there can be no
doubt now and from that came the plague
of flies and red spider; there was one at Sunbury,
productive of ferocious great eels, that could come
ashore and kill sheep; and there was one in Bloomsbury
that gave the world a new strain of cockroaches of
a quite terrible sort an old house it was
in Bloomsbury, and much inhabited by undesirable things.
Abruptly the world found itself confronted with the
Hickleybrow experiences all over again, with all sorts
of queer exaggerations of familiar monsters in the
place of the giant hens and rats and wasps. Each
centre burst out with its own characteristic local
fauna and flora....
We know now that every one of these
centres corresponded to one of the patients of Doctor
Winkles, but that was by no means apparent at the
time. Doctor Winkles was the last person to incur
any odium in the matter. There was a panic quite
naturally, a passionate indignation, but it was indignation
not against Doctor Winkles but against the Food, and
not so much against the Food as against the unfortunate
Bensington, whom from the very first the popular imagination
had insisted upon regarding as the sole and only person
responsible for this new thing.
The attempt to lynch him that followed
is just one of those explosive events that bulk largely
in history and are in reality the least significant
of occurrences.
The history of the outbreak is a mystery.
The nucleus of the crowd certainly came from an Anti-Boomfood
meeting in Hyde Park organised by extremists of the
Caterham party, but there seems no one in the world
who actually first proposed, no one who ever first
hinted a suggestion of the outrage at which so many
people assisted. It is a problem for M. Gustave
lé Bon a mystery in the psychology
of crowds. The fact emerges that about three
o’clock on Sunday afternoon a remarkably big
and ugly London crowd, entirely out of hand, came
rolling down Thursday Street intent on Bensington’s
exemplary death as a warning to all scientific investigators,
and that it came nearer accomplishing its object than
any London crowd has ever come since the Hyde Park
railings came down in remote middle Victorian times.
This crowd came so close to its object indeed, that
for the space of an hour or more a word would have
settled the unfortunate gentleman’s fate.
The first intimation he had of the
thing was the noise of the people outside. He
went to the window and peered, realising nothing of
what impended. For a minute perhaps he watched
them seething about the entrance, disposing of an
ineffectual dozen of policemen who barred their way,
before he fully realised his own importance in the
affair. It came upon him in a flash that
that roaring, swaying multitude was after him.
He was all alone in the flat fortunately
perhaps his cousin Jane having gone down
to Ealing to have tea with a relation on her mother’s
side, and he had no more idea of how to behave under
such circumstances than he had of the etiquette of
the Day of Judgment. He was still dashing about
the flat asking his furniture what he should do, turning
keys in locks and then unlocking them again, making
darts at door and window and bedroom when
the floor clerk came to him.
“There isn’t a moment,
Sir,” he said. “They’ve got
your number from the board in the hall! They’re
coming straight up!”
He ran Mr. Bensington out into the
passage, already echoing with the approaching tumult
from the great staircase, locked the door behind them,
and led the way into the opposite flat by means of
his duplicate key.
“It’s our only chance now,” he said.
He flung up a window which opened
on a ventilating shaft, and showed that the wall was
set with iron staples that made the rudest and most
perilous of wall ladders to serve as a fire escape
from the upper flats. He shoved Mr. Bensington
out of the window, showed him how to cling on, and
pursued him up the ladder, goading and jabbing his
legs with a bunch of keys whenever he desisted from
climbing. It seemed to Bensington at times that
he must climb that vertical ladder for evermore.
Above, the parapet was inaccessibly remote, a mile
perhaps, below He did not care to think
of things below.
“Steady on!” cried the
clerk, and gripped his ankle. It was quite horrible
having his ankle gripped like that, and Mr. Bensington
tightened his hold on the iron staple above to a drowning
clutch, and gave a faint squeal of terror.
It became evident the clerk had broken
a window, and then it seemed he had leapt a vast distance
sideways, and there came the noise of a window-frame
sliding in its sash. He was bawling things.
Mr. Bensington moved his head round
cautiously until he could see the clerk. “Come
down six steps,” the clerk commanded.
All this moving about seemed very
foolish, but very, very cautiously Mr. Bensington
lowered a foot.
“Don’t pull me!”
he cried, as the clerk made to help him from the open
window.
It seemed to him that to reach the
window from the ladder would be a very respectable
feat for a flying fox, and it was rather with the idea
of a decent suicide than in any hope of accomplishing
it that he made the step at last, and quite ruthlessly
the clerk pulled him in. “You’ll
have to stop here,” said the clerk; “my
keys are no good here. It’s an American
lock. I’ll get out and slam the door behind
me and see if I can find the man of this floor.
You’ll be locked in. Don’t go to the
window, that’s all. It’s the ugliest
crowd I’ve ever seen. If only they think
you’re out they’ll probably content themselves
by breaking up your stuff ”
“The indicator said In,” said Bensington.
“The devil it did! Well, anyhow, I’d
better not be found ”
He vanished with a slam of the door.
Bensington was left to his own initiative again.
It took him under the bed.
There presently he was found by Cossar.
Bensington was almost comatose with
terror when he was found, for Cossar had burst the
door in with his shoulder by jumping at it across the
breadth of the passage.
“Come out of it, Bensington,”
he said. “It’s all right. It’s
me. We’ve got to get out of this.
They’re setting the place on fire. The porters
are all clearing out. The servants are gone.
It’s lucky I caught the man who knew.
“Look here!”
Bensington, peering from under the
bed, became aware of some unaccountable garments on
Cossar’s arm, and, of all things, a black bonnet
in his hand!
“They’re having a clear
out,” said Cossar, “If they don’t
set the place on fire they’ll come here.
Troops may not be here for an hour yet. Fifty
per cent. Hooligans in the crowd, and the more
furnished flats they go into the better they’ll
like it. Obviously.... They mean a clear
out. You put this skirt and bonnet on, Bensington,
and clear out with me.”
“D’you mean ?”
began Bensington, protruding a head, tortoise fashion.
“I mean, put ’em on and
come! Obviously,” And with a sudden vehemence
he dragged Bensington from under the bed, and began
to dress him for his new impersonation of an elderly
woman of the people.
He rolled up his trousers and made
him kick off his slippers, took off his collar and
tie and coat and vest, slipped a black skirt over his
head, and put on a red flannel bodice and a body over
the same. He made him take off his all too characteristic
spectacles, and clapped the bonnet on his head.
“You might have been born an old woman,”
he said as he tied the strings. Then came the
spring-side boots a terrible wrench for
corns and the shawl, and the disguise was
complete. “Up and down,” said Cossar,
and Bensington obeyed.
“You’ll do,” said Cossar.
And in this guise it was, stumbling
awkwardly over his unaccustomed skirts, shouting womanly
imprecations upon his own head in a weird falsetto
to sustain his part, and to the roaring note of a crowd
bent upon lynching him, that the original discoverer
of Herakleophorbia IV. proceeded down the corridor
of Chesterfield Mansions, mingled with that inflamed
disorderly multitude, and passed out altogether from
the thread of events that constitutes our story.
Never once after that escape did he
meddle again with the stupendous development of the
Food of the Gods he of all men had done most to begin.
III.-
This little man who started the whole
thing passes out of the story, and after a time he
passed altogether out of the world of things, visible
and tellable. But because he started the whole
thing it is seemly to give his exit an intercalary
page of attention. One may picture him in his
later days as Tunbridge Wells came to know him.
For it was at Tunbridge Wells he reappeared after
a temporary obscurity, so soon as he fully realised
how transitory, how quite exceptional and unmeaning
that fury of rioting was. He reappeared under
the wing of Cousin Jane, treating himself for nervous
shock to the exclusion of all other interests, and
totally indifferent, as it seemed, to the battles that
were raging then about those new centres of distribution,
and about the baby Children of the Food.
He took up his quarters at the Mount
Glory Hydrotherapeutic Hotel, where there are quite
extraordinary facilities for baths, Carbonated Baths,
Creosote Baths, Galvanic and Faradic Treatment, Massage,
Pine Baths, Starch and Hemlock Baths, Radium Baths,
Light Baths, Heat Baths, Bran and Needle Baths, Tar
and Birdsdown Baths, all sorts of baths;
and he devoted his mind to the development of that
system of curative treatment that was still imperfect
when he died. And sometimes he would go down in
a hired vehicle and a sealskin trimmed coat, and sometimes,
when his feet permitted, he would walk to the Pantiles,
and there he would sip chalybeate water under the
eye of his cousin Jane.
His stooping shoulders, his pink appearance,
his beaming glasses, became a “feature”
of Tunbridge Wells. No one was the least bit unkind
to him, and indeed the place and the Hotel seemed
very glad to have the distinction of his presence.
Nothing could rob him of that distinction now.
And though he preferred not to follow the development
of his great invention in the daily papers, yet when
he crossed the Lounge of the Hotel or walked down
the Pantiles and heard the whisper, “There he
is! That’s him!” it was not dissatisfaction
that softened his mouth and gleamed for a moment in
his eye.
This little figure, this minute little
figure, launched the Food of the Gods upon the world!
One does not know which is the most amazing, the greatness
or the littleness of these scientific and philosophical
men. You figure him there on the Pantiles, in
the overcoat trimmed with fur. He stands under
that chinaware window where the spring spouts, and
holds and sips the glass of chalybeate water in his
hand. One bright eye over the gilt rim is fixed,
with an expression of inscrutable severity, on Cousin
Jane, “Mm,” he says, and sips.
So we make our souvenir, so we focus
and photograph this discoverer of ours for the last
time, and leave him, a mere dot in our foreground,
and pass to the greater picture that, has developed
about him, to the story of his Food, how the scattered
Giant Children grew up day by day into a world that
was all too small for them, and how the net of Boomfood
Laws and Boomfood Conventions, which the Boomfood
Commission was weaving even then, drew closer and
closer upon them with every year of their growth,
Until